Original subtitles

Tonight, we're in the Orioles' locker room as we count down the illustrious

career of Cal Ripken Jr.

The man, the legend, the icon.

But believe it or not, Cal puts his pants on one leg at a time. And right

is where those very pants hang. Cal! Cal!

Cal! Cal!

Dwayne, what are you doing in there, man?

Trying to get Cal to sign my old bat board jersey.

When did you become such a big Cal Ripken fan?

Man, he has everything to do with who I am today.

I wasn't a smart kid.

I wasn't a well -dressed kid.

I wasn't a handsome kid.

Hey, hey, this list can go on forever. What's your point?

The point is, Cal represents me.

The average Joe. The working man.

Cal's not afraid to go out there and get mud under his nails.

Oh, see? Like me.

You know, Dwayne, I feel for you. And as a fellow celebrity, I feel for Cal,

too. I've been mobbed. I've been hounded.

And in the end, Those of us in the public eye just want to be left alone.

You cut one ribbon at the opening of one Orange Julius.

Celebrity? I think not.

Look, man, it's taken a lot of time for me to cultivate my relationships with

the players. I finally got to feeling like I'm part of the team.

When I can't turn on my name So don't isolate yourself When there's no

Look who's here.

Ta -da!

Tanya! Hi, Brie Brie!

I made your favorite Belgian waffles. I even made a smiley face of strawberries.

Hell no, it's a smiley face. I haven't had one of those since I was, what,

Thanks anyway, but I'm not hungry.

Uh, you know, I don't like to run ball on a full stomach myself. Hunger gives

that edge I need to play above the rim. That and my cute little sneakers.

Listen, after dealing with rough -and -tough guys all day, it's good to be

someone who's nice and sweet.

You got me.

Okay, what a joy you are.

But could you at least just try, please?

I want the women in my life to get along.

Okay, I'm sorry.

It's not even really about you. I just miss my best friend back in Atlanta.

Oh, is that little Brianna homesick?

Okay, maybe it is her a little bit.

But I just miss my best friend, Tracy.

Tracy? Yeah, my partner back in Atlanta. Tracy and I were tight. We did

everything together. We were like Ben and Jerry's. All right. The Fruity

and milk. Yeah.

Dolce and Gabbana.

I'm trying.

Oh, baby, and what a beautiful try it was.

You know what? I got an idea.

How about your father flies Tracy out for the weekend?

Good looking out, T -Money.

Will seeing your friend make you happy? Yes. Yes, it would.

Really happy? Yeah. All right, then. Well, let's get Tracy up in here. Up in

here. Thank you, Daddy. You're the best.

What about me?

You all right? Don't be so needy.

For the same reason your father won't let me hang out in your mama's bedroom.

Oh, Tracy's here. Tracy's here. Tracy's here. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Tracy's

here. Oh, my God.

Oh, it's just you.

Hey, I'm your goddaddy. Better be nice.

Anything happens to your daddy, you end up with me.

Will Tracy be here any minute? I got Popsicle on my shirt. Sorry.

Tracy, Tracy, Tracy. You know what? I hope this girl lives up to all this

You know what? I think we've forgotten who we are.

So me, Dwayne Odell Knox, am going to ask my best friend, Flex, one last time.

You going to help me? Let me think about it. Nope.

Come on, man. I'm starting to get desperate, dog.

I was hanging around the dugout picking up trash, you know. When I saw Cal, I

started to make my move.

When that damn Oriole mascot came over and stuck my head in his beak.

What's the problem? Your head's been in worse places.

a 14 -year -old girl.

Oh, no, sir, I'm 16. You want to check my driver's license?

On your way out.

Well, wait, wait, Dave.

Tracy's my partner, my dog, my confidant.

I don't care if he's your butcher, your baker, your candlestick maker.

He is not spending the night up in this house. I didn't tell you Tracy was a boy

because I knew you'd say no.

Sir, I can understand you being protective of Brianna, but I've always

back, too. I mean, that's been my job since she was five years old. Yeah, my

and his mom were best friends.

to bathe us together.

Oh, hey, well, I'll tell you one thing. Ain't gonna be no rub -a -dub -dubbing

up in this house.

Mm -hmm. In other words, splish -splash your ass somewhere else.

Brianna,

you lied to me.

Daddy, I'm sorry, but Tracy's trustworthy, loyal, and he looks out for

He's like my best friend.

I don't know about this.

But, Daddy, he's already here.

Tell you what I'm gonna do.

your mother and do a little background check.

Until then, I'm watching your butt play up.

Me too.

I'm worried about Brianna and this Tracy boy.

In one weekend, I can go from being Big Daddy Flex to Granddaddy Flex.

You know, that's a cool rap man.

Granddaddy Flex. His daughter's having sex.

Sweetie, if you had a problem with him being here, why'd you let him stay?

Because I didn't want to be one of those fathers who every time he sees his

daughter with a boy, wonders what's going on.

I wonder what's going on.

Nothing, Flex. They're just friends.

Mm -hmm. Friends, right.

See, that's your problem. You don't think men and women can be friends.

Oh, that's not true. I know men and women can't be friends.

I have lots of male friends. I've even slept in the same bed with a few, and

nothing has ever happened. Who did nothing ever happen with? My friend,

Bruce. Little gay Bruce?

He's not gay. I just told you that because that's what you needed to hear.

Dang, he kisses one guy and you label him.

Tanya, Tanya, baby, please wake up and smell the coffee.

Little Bruce is gay.

Men only pretend to be friends so that someone down the line... We can have sex

with him.

I mean, why else would we put up with the long walks in the park and the

romantic dinners and the conversations?

So we can have sex with him.

So is that what you're doing with me? Of course not. We're not friends.

Then just what are we?

We're buddies who like to touch each other.

So,

if your theory holds up, what do you think Tracy and Brianna are doing right

now?

Oh!

Moments don't get more awkward.

Than this.

Could you two please leave?

We leave when we daggone ready to leave.

And we ready to leave.

Arnaz, you want that? I don't play games. I play guitars, my brother.

Hey, Tracy.

It was worked at controller.

They're so strong and long.

Yeah, I've got long toes, too.

You want to see? Ooh.

Uh, spirit.

Kitchen.

Now.

Now, girl, who were you supposed to be with the... And the... Your fingers are

so strong.

Come on, girl, you don't mind a sister trying to hook herself up with a little

Southern Comfort?

Not this weekend.

I haven't seen my dog in how long? I just want us to hang.

By us, you mean the two of y 'all. Oh, my bad.

Maybe you have peeped them. Yeah, girl, nobody's peeping nobody.

So you haven't noticed that dimple on his left cheek?

Girl, the sun is right, and it only happens when he smiles and he gets a

twinkle in his eye. Girl, we're just friends, okay?

Well, have you taken a look at your friend lately?

Oh, shut up, voice pie.

He's kind of cute, isn't he?

So what are you going to do about it?

I need you to teach me how to trap a man.

You want me to teach you to trap a man?

Yeah, like you're trapping my daddy.

I'm not trapping your daddy.

I'm trapping a sportscaster with a six -figure income.

Anyway, why are you asking me?

Because you've got the knowledge of a mature woman who's obviously...

a little offended, but I'll get past that.

Now, I assume we're talking about that cute little boy, Tracy.

Yeah, I guess I've got what your generation calls a love, Joan.

But one minute he's my best friend, and now I think he's the one.

I've never had this feeling before.

Sweetie, I don't know if your dad would like me doing this.

Well, Tanya, look. This gives you and I a chance to bond.

Woman to girl. Daddy would really like that.

Well, okay.

thing we need to do is let Tracy know you're a girl.

Excuse me?

Honey, you're like a blow pop. Nobody knows the sweet gum is in the middle

you break through the hard rough shelf.

You trying to help me, right?

All I'm saying is maybe it's time to dress a little less hip hop and a little

bit more sultry soul.

And the place to start is the foundation.

The shoes.

Notice how the proper footwear can turn a gorgeous pair of legs into killer

gams. Check it on out, girl.

Okay, shoes.

What else?

It's very important to always carry yourself as a lady.

Now sit down.

No! No, no, no, no. A lady never plops. A lady...

Be ladylike. What else?

And when being a lady fails, always be a woman.

Now,

honey, no matter what they say or how much they struggle, men like it when you

grab them by the back of the neck and just lay it on them.

But no tongue. You're too young for that.

All right, Blaine. I'm going to get my journalistic integrity to do this for

you. But I'm going to get Cal Ripken to come out here and sign your jersey for

you. Black man, I really appreciate this. I owe you big time. If you had

anything to give me, that might mean something.

All right, stay right here. I'll be right back.

Hey, hey, come on. Look, no time for that. Please, go away.

Click off, all right?

Hey, hey, hey, stop, stop, stop.

Come on, no means no. Respect.

Hey, hey, look, hey, that's for Cal to sign. Get away.

Oh, it's about to be bye -bye birdie up here.

I just keep thinking you're going to bust your butt in those high -rise

Well, I thought I'd try something different. You know, teaming advantage

off the court.

Right.

Did you hurt your back?

Um, yeah, I am a little tight.

Can you hook a girl up with a massage?

Ooh, wait.

Can't be so rough with me.

I am a girl.

Sorry, I forgot.

That's because you only see my hard -roofed shell.

You don't know nothing about the sweet gum inside.

What?

Let me show you.

There's nothing like a fresh -squeezed glass of... Sir,

how would you think?

Look, I'm going to tell you what I think. Your lips against my

lips means a fat lip for you. Wait a minute, Daddy. It's not his fault. Let

explain. Rihanna, you're not going to send me to my room.

Okay, I'm going on my own.

So tell me something, Tracy.

If you were me, would you aim high or would you aim low?

If you want to beat me, I'm fine, but since I plan on having kids one day, I'd

aim high. Boy, you better sit down.

I don't know what happened. I know what happened. I was you once, playing

innocent when you know you guilty.

See, I'm the master of that game.

Next thing you're going to tell me is she was kissing you.

But she did.

I swear.

One minute we were playing ball and the next she put it on me. I mean, really

put it on me like, ah.

Okay, before you go on, I haven't made up my mind whether I'm going to aim high

or low.

How am I going to tell her my feeling all like that?

I don't want to hurt her.

Look, if you're telling me the truth, then you have to tell her.

What am I supposed to say?

You just got to look her in the eye, be sensitive about her feelings, and speak

from the heart.

Okay, I'm going to go and tell her the truth.

And break her heart?

I don't think I can do this. Can't I just go back to Atlanta and pretend this

never happened?

Man, you really do remind me of me.

Baby, we need to talk. Father, what you saw wasn't just two people kissing, but

me taking my ride.

in the circle of life.

Daddy, my feelings for Tracy are real.

Baby, sit down. I got some bad news.

You didn't throw Tracy off the roof, did you?

I was tempted.

Really tempted.

But I didn't want to live in a room with bars and a cellmate named Peter.

Baby, sometimes we have feelings for someone and they might not feel the same

way about us.

What are you saying?

I don't know how to tell you this. Then just say it.

Chris only likes you as a friend.

You'd do anything to keep us apart, wouldn't you?

He didn't know how to tell you, so I told him that I would.

Baby.

There's going to be a lot of Tracys. I don't want there to be, but there will

be.

And you know why?

Because you're a beautiful girl with a beautiful heart.

And someday you're going to find someone who will appreciate that.

But there'll be no one like Tracy.

I kissed him, Daddy.

Oh, baby, that was your first kiss. I didn't know. I'm sorry, sweetie.

I can't believe I wasted my first kiss on him.

If it helps, he said it was good.

How good?

Real good.

Scale of one to ten. You are making me uncomfortable.

Hi.

Are you mad at me?

How could I be mad at you?

So we're still friends, right?

Of course.

We'll keep in touch.

Look, Brianna, I didn't mean... Hey, hey.

It was nothing.

Just forget about it. I already have.

Bye, Frankie.

Bye, Brianna.

He don't know what he missing.

You okay, baby?

Yeah, I'm okay.

I'm just one boy, right?

Oh, Daddy.

Mr. Ripken, can I have your autograph?

No.

You want my soda?

You can have it.

Really.

You can have it.

Hey, kid.

Catch.

Somebody's about to get plugged tonight!

Love you too, Netta.