Original subtitles

Once upon a time, there were eight little girls who were all the apple of

dad's eye.

As they grew up, many boys tried to woo them, but none were good enough for

their dad.

To help find their one true love, they agreed to enter a fairy tale realm of

romance, full of hot single prince charmings, all prepared to do anything

a date with a princess.

But what happened next?

It's now time to discover whether our fairy tale romances did indeed blossom

bloom as we return our winning prince charmings and princesses to the real

for the final chapter of our story of love.

I think he's very gorgeous.

I've been sick like that before.

The fact that she doesn't like chicken, I think that is really weird.

He did say something funny, but I can't remember what it was.

There was a bit of chemistry between me and Charlie.

She possibly could be my princess.

The very first princess to enter our magical kingdom of love was a cocktail

waitress called Jamie, who hailed from a land not so far, far away called

Amersham. I'm Jamie. I'm 23.

I've been single for about six months now.

My ideal man is Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon, is it? With long hair.

Amazing. But any prince wishing to woo Princess Jamie would first need to go

through a truly terrifying property wheeler -dealer called Dickie Fluff,

otherwise known as Dad.

Jamie lives in a caravan next to the house, and that's got a big fence round

Also, I've got a big wall all round the house.

Plus, I've got five dogs.

And on top of that, I've got cameras as well, and one of them points right at

her caravan.

Of all the princes desperate to win her heart, there was one whose deeds

impressed all immediately.

With his great courage and dashing good looks, he was the complete princely

package.

Well, almost.

I'm flexing, I know it.

I know I'm not being very intelligent as well. In terms of being on the computer

as well, I'm not very clever.

all that stuff, reading books and things like that. I met a girl really

intelligent. I suppose that would help me a bit because it'd make me more

intelligent. She'd teach me a few things.

Prince Jordan the Unwise may have lacked the brains, but he had an abundance of

desire to be crowned Prince Sharp.

He survived all of Dad's terrible, twisted tests of love to find himself in

final battle of the ballads against the formidable Muff Daddy.

Prince Jordan.

I've already ran over him in the man -o -mouse challenge.

He's going to get squashed again.

And

I

wonder... I wonder why you look at me like that.

What are you thinking?

What's behind?

Don't tell me, but it feels like love.

If you're the one good reason You're the only girl that

I need And you're more beautiful than I have ever seen

I'm going to take this night and make it evergreen.

OK, you can come out from behind the sofa now. It's over.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Surely she didn't.

Yes, she did.

I liked the sound of his voice because it was Essex and I really liked the

accent.

There was just something about the way the prince spoke them words that were

really sexy.

So Princess Jamie was rather taken with her Prince Charming. But what about

Prince Jordan? What were his first thoughts on his princess?

She's not normally my type, because I normally go for brunettes and tan, but

she's, like, blonde and not that, so we'll just see how the date goes.

So, it was not a great start, but the question was, would they live happily

after? Well, let us return them to the real world and see what happened on

first date together.

Ah, look.

They're having a romantic meal together. I wonder what Prince Jordan the Unwise

would order.

Yes,

including vegetarians. Now, did you know that in the real world, Jordan is a

full -time dream boy?

First day, my name is Jordan Essex.

When I'm on stage, I feel a bit cold.

Literally, when he starts talking about himself, you can't shut him up because

he's that attracted to himself.

Let's not get into that because I'm really obsessed with Jim and I'll talk

it for hours.

The way he looked, the way he acts, his body, his job, everything.

It was all about him. The whole date was just all about him.

Have you not ever seen a Dreamboy show or nothing like that?

And so it went on and on until finally this banquet of love came to a close.

So would either of them be coming back for seconds?

I don't think I fancy Jamie.

He's a nice girl in general, a nice personality and good to get on with.

But I just don't think she's my type.

I have nothing in common with the guy. He loves himself. All he likes to talk

about is himself.

Buff Daddy would have been a much better laugh if I went out on a date with him.

And so Princess Jamie and Prince Jordan the Unwise went their separate ways.

Their search for love would go on. But what about our next princess?

Remember her?

I'd like to think that there is a perfect person out there for everybody.

think that there is a true compatibility, a soulmate.

So, yeah, I'm on a quest to find my soulmate, my prince.

Yes, it's Princess Nicky, a cruise ship dancer from Sutton Coalfield, who was

joined by her 65 -year -old retired teacher of a dad, Pat.

I think my dad's got quite a short view.

His temper can come out quite quickly over something quite menial.

Trivial. Isn't menial the right word? No. Trust me.

One thing's for sure, there was nothing menial about Dad's task to find the

prince charming for his darling daughter.

A quest that began upon the terrifying catapult of truth.

This marvelous machine was part lie detector, part instrument of torture.

That meant there was no hiding from the truth for our princes, no matter how

embarrassing the quest.

Have you ever made a sex tape?

No No

No

The sex tape contained superheroes.

Basically, I was Batman and she was Catwoman.

Basically, it was just a bit of a fantasy that we went to battle.

Despite this raunchy revelation, Dad Pat saw something he liked in the cut of

this prince's gym. And so it came to pass that Prince Martin found himself in

the final three Hosel shootout with Prince Charlie and Prince Navid.

The law of the lake states that whoever falls first will be cast out forever

from this princely contest.

But who will it be?

Oh, it's Prince Charlie.

That was a bit disappointing.

Still, hey -ho, never mind. Let's plough on, shall we, and see just who will be

the ultimate winner of this watery war of princely vengeance.

Ah,

it's Prince Martin.

Well done.

This epic victory was a high point in Prince Martin's campaign to win a date

with the princess.

And shortly his dream was fulfilled, as he was chosen by Princess Nicky herself

to be her prince charming.

When the gate first opened, I thought, wow, he's hot. He's the sort of guy I'd

go for. I was really happy.

When the gate opened, I was really, really happy with what was in front of

Lovely blonde hair, massive blue eyes, really nice white smile, really nice

boobs, and a really beautiful figure. Perfect.

So it all looked very promising as they left our magical kingdom and returned to

the real world for a romantic restaurant rendezvous.

Oh, and here they are.

Two little lovebirds.

Tweet, tweet.

Drinks, please, Garcon.

Excellent. Now they're both wearing spots.

But what else have they in common?

How long were you in Ibiza for?

I was in Ibiza for four months.

I became brain dead after about two months.

He's been to Ibiza to work, and obviously me going abroad to work, so

something in common.

We just spoke about our experiences in life, basically. She's done a lot of

things I've done, so it was very natural, and she was very easy to speak

This is all sounding quite promising.

More wine, anyone?

I was going to try and persuade you to go out raving with me, but...

You know I'd be up for that.

Nice to see young love letting its hair down.

And they do seem to be getting on rather well.

My question was, does her personality match her looks? And she ticked that

it definitely does.

Never do that again.

He's got really nice eyes and, like, good sort of beard thing going on.

So, Nicky, I've had a really good time. I think you're a special girl.

Cheers for coming.

Thanks. I had a really good night, too.

Cheers.

The fairy tale's come to an end now, and I really do think it's a possibility

that it's going to be a happy ending.

And so, with all the booze polished off, it's time for goodbyes.

Or maybe they'll go for a quick swifty elsewhere.

That is the tale of two princesses' quest for love.

Return to us with Godspeed, my friends, to see how our other fairy tale romances

got on when they went back to reality.

I'm definitely physically attracted to him.

Let's get to him.

Welcome back to My Little Princess.

Now, tis no denying that our land of love is an unusual place, but t 'was

nothing compared to the way one princess saw things in the real world.

I believe that the world is secretly controlled by reptiles.

By that I mean high -ranking politicians, like celebrities from the

family, actually came from a different planet.

before the dawn of time.

Some examples would be Nicki Minaj. She was in a normal interview, they were

just filming her, and her eyes slowly started shape -shifting.

And, like, for example, there's a picture of Angelina Jolie, and you can

like, scales here.

Yes, it's Princess Lisa, a nightclub hostess from Watford, who believes that

reptiles really rule the Earth, and even worse, married Brad Pitt.

Finding a perfect man for Princess Lisa was always going to be tricky.

But if any man could do it, then it was this man.

A 58 -year -old karate black belt and gun fanatic, otherwise known as Dad

Jim.

Despite the fact she's nearly 20 years old and she's an adult, I still feel

protective towards her. I spend a lot of time shooting with rifles and shotguns,

so I'm quite handy with a shotgun and I can hit moving targets.

He may be joking, but our princess decided to err on the side of caution

impress this most dangerous of dads any which way they could.

Even if that meant being transformed by our witch into giant, ugly bird men in

order to protect the princess's most precious possession, her pet pooch,

Yeah, like, he's sort of like a dog to me. Like, he's more like a baby, and,

like, I feel like a single mum, like, looking after him, raising him by

Like, sometimes I dress him up and everything.

Just little converses.

Our evil Jester would shoot deadly missiles directly at a portrait of the

princess's darling doggy. Whichever birdy bodyguard took the most hits for

would win the greatest favor from Dad and Princess Lisa.

So with this thought in their bird -like brains... The princes prepared

themselves for the jester's onslaught of pain.

Pain is nothing. It doesn't mean nothing. It's not even in my dictionary.

Take it, man!

For the pin's neck!

Take the ball for her!

Oh, dear.

What? Look out! Duck!

No!

Oof! I bet that hurt.

Be stern and strong.

Ah, a ball to the face.

Taking it like a blimp.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

The prince that triumphed in this challenge went on to win the date with

Princess Lisa.

Well, no, he didn't. This week's winning Prince Charming did rubbish in this and

every other test of love.

But somehow he managed to survive and be chosen by the princess herself to enter

her garden of love.

My initial reaction when the gate opened was pleasantly surprised, to be honest.

Yeah, she's a nice -looking girl, so I was pretty happy.

His name was Prince Jamie, and he seemed rather pleased with himself.

But what did the princess make of this most fortunate of princes?

First thing I thought when the gate opened was, like, wow, that's a lot of

-up.

So things didn't look too promising, as they were transported back to the real

world for their dream date together.

There they are, a perfectly normal couple enjoying a perfectly normal meal,

talking about perfectly normal things.

This whole recession thing that's going on, I think it's bullshit. Like, it

didn't actually happen.

Do you get what I mean?

It didn't actually happen? No, it didn't happen.

In what sense?

Like, it didn't actually happen.

We're just trying to, like, control the media and, like, scare people.

Do you get what I mean?

Not really, no.

I think when I talk to a lot of people about this, they think I'm crazy.

I think she thinks that reptiles just have more control than we think they do

some sort of fashion in the fact that they might have bigger brains or might

similar to humans.

I think sometimes it's good to have different opinions, sometimes it's good

hear other people's opinions on different topics.

Lisa may be interested in big bank fakery, but it would appear that Jamie

more interested in big boob fakery.

Oh, yes.

What else has she had done for me?

Oh, dear.

So you don't agree that the world is run by reptiles, and now you've accused her

of having a nose job.

This isn't going very well, is it?

You know what? I just thought that went okay. She did look really pretty. She

looked really great, to be honest.

He's a really nice guy. He's very sporty at ease.

I'm definitely physically attracted to him.

Oh, well, there you go, then. So maybe love could be in the air for this oddest

of couples after all.

I'm not sure if Jamie could be my prince because I have a really specific

criteria. And, like, I don't think Jamie's that person, but I think he's,

the perfect guy for someone else. It's just not me.

Although Lisa is a really nice girl.

I don't think she is my princess.

So it was written in the stars, probably by some reptilian alien master race,

that the destiny of these two was not meant to be together.

Never mind, eh?

The next couple who entered this realm of romance were a student of journalism

called Princess Lear and her dad, a terrifying satellite installation

called Mark.

who both hail from the land of Worcestershire.

The kind of guy that kind of gave me to death would be someone like Dappy, the

way he comes across on his videos, the language he uses.

For me, I kind of like someone that just, like, you know, breaks the rules,

bit of a rebel, like that kind of look, a bit like, you know, outside the box.

Now, of course, Dad Mark wanted a prince that only had eyes for his little

princess. So with that in mind, the wizard of the castle called for all the

princes to sit before one of his marvelous machines.

All he told them was that a creature would appear before them, and that they

must maintain eye contact with that figure at all times.

Do not stray from the path.

Maintain eye contact.

Keep looking into her eye.

Do not be tempted by her truth. Do not stray from her lies.

Only look at her lovely round eyes.

Her beautifully shaped eyes.

Her big bulging eyes.

Don't look at anything else.

Only into the eyes.

Just the eyes.

No, don't look. No.

Keep looking at the eyes. There's nothing else to see.

Oh, Lord, those eyes.

With this torturous trial of temptation over, it was time for the wizard to

reveal his filthy findings to Dad and Princess Lear.

Let me begin by describing the two most faithful of your princes, Prince Mac,

and Prince Robbie.

That was more mentally torturing, obviously, being a male. We want to

I found the task quite difficult, but I think that's mainly because you tell

someone not to jump on the bed, they're going to.

They did not look at her breasts at all. They kept their gaze firmly on her

eyes, as I had instructed.

But I fear bringing up the rear is Prince Joe.

I might have had a peep once or twice at the boobs.

We were too good to resist.

A man with an extraordinary interest in the female form.

For he looked at her breasts, not once, not twice, but a staggering twelve

times.

Unsurprisingly, this wasn't good news for Prince Joe.

But it was good news for the prince with the beaver hair, who would go on and on

until he was finally crowned the prince charming of Princess Eve.

When the gate opened, he wasn't what I expected.

He's a little bit shorter than I thought he would be. I thought he'd be a little

bit taller.

It's not sort of my usual instant attraction, but you never tell what

like, can you?

And so, this should be interesting, let us return these two lovebirds to the

real world and see how they fare on their dream date together.

And there they are.

No, hold on, there's Mac.

Maybe Leah's been delayed.

Yes. Ah, there she is, walking into her flat. What?

What's she doing there?

After the show, I'd actually text Adam.

I thought it was nice and mean. Mac found out and was like, oh, he texted

first. It just went downhill from there, basically.

All right, so basically, she stood Max up. That's not very nice, is it?

To not turn up, just pathetic, really.

I'm not a horrible person, I don't like to badmouth anybody, and I think it's a

real shame that I've not got on with Leia, because normally I connect really

well with people.

See, he's a guy that connects with people, Leia.

Couldn't you see that?

There wasn't any chemistry at all with me and Max.

Like, could even hold a conversation properly.

The final message to Leia is, you know, best of luck.

I apologise if I offended you in any way, but I had no intention of doing so.

I just don't think we connected at all.

Well, you didn't connect, you didn't turn up. But what have we all learnt?

I think this experience has actually taught me not to go by looks. I just

that Max obviously wasn't the type of guy that I was kind of looking for,

really. So the date may have been a complete and utter failure, but let's

on the bright side.

Er, no, sorry, there isn't a bright side.

Let's move on quickly, shall we, to another tale of love.

Our next princess looking for her one true love was an office temp from

Guildford called Princess Sophie, who was escorted to her magical land by her

dad, Mike.

I'm not a spoiled little princess, I don't think.

Everybody says that you're Princess Sophie. You act like a little diva at

If you lose something, it's somebody else's fault and you go into one.

So, it would appear that our princes would need to be made of strong staff to

cope with the demands of Princess Sophie.

For this purpose, the witch of the castle arranged her dad and his daughter

see who was really a man or a man.

Transformed into giant idiot -faced mice, the princes could see nothing at

beneath their new beastly skins.

To prove their courage, they had to run directly towards each other until they

collided. Whoever made it furthest along the track would be the winner.

First to grab the mousy gauntlet was Prince Joe, the Pocket Prince.

I think just doing all these tasks and showing the princess how much we want to

date with her should really impress her, and I think if it worked out, it'd be

amazing. Ah, bless.

He had his work cut out, for his rodent opponent was Prince Scotty the

Merciless. I am the most competitive person I've ever met.

I have to beat everybody at everything, otherwise I get really, really angry.

Not a mouse. Think of men, but not completely think of men because of the

princess. So think of princess and men. Men. No, hang on. This is all wrong.

I bet that hurt.

So the winner of this suicidal duel of dumbness was brave Prince Scotty, who

defeated the gutless weasel that was Prince Joe.

This was just one of Prince Scotty's finest moments.

in a trail of triumph that led him to the front door of the princess's lady

garden.

Good grief.

Having seen her prince charming in the flesh for the first time, the princess

was more than happy with her choice.

When the gate opened and I saw Scotty, I was actually quite relieved.

Even though Scotty's singing was horrendous, I think he's absolutely

so that definitely makes up for it.

Princess was definitely all that hard work, all the water, all the mud. She

my breath away. She was a stunning girl.

Oh, how exciting.

Let us see then what happened next when they left our magical kingdom behind for

their romantic encounter in the real world.

Ah, cocktails.

Very romantic.

I wonder how this compares to other dates they've been on.

So if you were to take a girl on a date, where would you go other than here?

I don't really go on dates.

Why don't you go on dates? I can't believe that.

If I took her out, I'd probably pick her up at something like, usually just

Mendo's or TGI's or something.

So like a nice little restaurant, nothing major.

Got to save a bit of money, you know what I mean?

I do go out with guys who make a bit more effort.

But it's not a good thing to know that he doesn't usually take girls out.

Well, look, he's on a date now, so let's see how he gets on, shall we? I'm

really sad about this.

Probably run away in a bus.

Ah,

look -see, now they're having fun.

I'll try to be a bit funny here and there, break the eye.

He did say something funny, but I can't remember what it was, so it can't have

been that funny.

OK, well, if the stand -up comedy doesn't work, then maybe they should try

something else.

No, let's get pissed.

We didn't really have much to talk about.

We did keep conversation flowing, but it wasn't anything too interesting.

I think it went all right, to be honest.

I think we were at the really smooth conversation, nothing really stopped.

OK, you say potato, he says potato.

So, should you call the whole thing off?

I thought you were stunning.

Like her really long blonde hair.

I do fancy Scotty. If you're up to see me again after this, I would say yes.

want to give him another chance.

Hopefully there's another date.

I hope so, for sure.

Well, now I'm confused.

So who knows what will happen in the future with these two?

It's not a no, it's a possibly maybe.

The story of love may be over for that princess and Prince Charming.

But we have plenty more fairy tale dates still to come as the tale of my little

princess continues.

You look like a turtle.

He's gorgeous.

Welcome back.

Now, for many girls, becoming a fairy tale princess was a fantasy.

But for our next daughter, it was a reality.

Just ask her dad.

Charlotte, my little princess. She needs to be looked after.

and kept safe and sound. If a guy doesn't treat me like a princess, my dad

have him out of the door right away.

Princess Charlotte was a cruise ship dancer from Cheltenham. She was joined

her quest for love by her dad, John.

She was a princess that demanded only the finest things in life.

So with that in mind, her princely suitors were all summoned before the

kingdom's connoisseur of luxury goods, the gift horse.

Okey -dokey, fellas.

Imagine, if you will, you and the princess in a luxury spa.

No, not the supermarket.

The place with the towels.

So, what treatment would you get for her? An Indian head massage

or a French manicure? A manicure or a massage?

Indian or French?

I'm going to go for the French manicure. The Indian head massage.

I think Indian head massage is a bit naff, so I'm going to go with the nail

manicure.

Then I'm sorry about this, fellas, but someone is up for the job. It's not me.

Blame the producer.

So I can tell you the correct answer is the princess

would like to have...

Bit tense, this, isn't it?

An Indian head massage.

Oh,

it was a

tough one, but...

Most girls would go for French manicure, but I don't like my hands, so... You

prefer the Indian head massage, that's for sure.

Well,

Prince Mark, do you mind if I call you Primarch for short?

Can I just say congratulations?

And so it came to pass that this prince of good taste... Prince Mark of the

Mersey eventually emerged triumphant and bagged a date with Princess Charlotte.

And the good news was that first impressions

were most encouraging.

When I first saw Mark, I thought he was really nice. He had a really nice smile.

He made me feel really special.

Over the past week, I've absolutely worked my knackers off.

And everything I've been put through, it's all been worth it. And I can't wait

to get to know Charlotte more.

And so, the stage was set for this knackless prince to return to the real

with the princess for their date with destiny.

Now then, we've all got high hopes for this one, so let's see what's on the

of love tonight.

Ostrich. Ostrich. I couldn't imagine what that would be.

No, not today.

Ostrich? Unusual. Didn't know Nando's did that.

Not really. Actually, they're in a posh African restaurant.

Should be fun.

Well, Zebra, do you reckon it's trippy?

Do you reckon it's never stripy? Maybe.

Maybe. Maybe.

Well,

it's tickled her.

Anywho, come on, let's get down to the serious business of copping off with

other. Say something really, really, really like Liverpool -y.

I can't think of anything.

Play something like, could they play YI now?

That's Newcastle.

Charlotte is unknowingly funny.

She says things that she doesn't mean to be funny.

Have you seen Awkward Turtle?

Why is it an awkward turtle?

Because it's what you do when a situation's really awkward, you do an

turtle. I know why it's awkward.

It's only got two legs.

No, turtles only have two legs.

They have four.

Oh, my God.

Well, it's nice to see them having so much fun together.

But what about love? Any chance of a snog?

Hey, that's nicer than mine.

Charlotte is a lovely girl, but she's just too sweet, too innocent.

That's just not my type of girl. I like the feisty girls.

He seems a really nice guy.

Whether there's any chemistry there, I don't know.

I'm not convinced that she really is my princess.

Not really my type. Lovely person, but just not for me.

Oh dear.

So sadly the flowers of romance did not blossom and bloom in this garden of

love. So let's move swiftly on to the next princess.

The next visitor to our magical kingdom searching for love was a barmaid called

Zoe Embry.

and her dad, Phil, a 56 -year -old builder who hailed from the ancient

of Shrewsbury.

In five years' time, I would like to be married, maybe have a mortgage, my own

hair salon, to be quite settled compared to what I am now.

My ideal man for Zoe would be somebody not too tall, handsome -ish, somebody,

you know, quite funny and doesn't take life too serious, but serious enough to

look after Zoe.

If a good sense of humor was important to Dad, then the go -to man to test such

things was the naughty jester of the castle, who decided to play a prank on

princess.

He told them that they must run blindfold towards a wall that was 50

the distance and stop before they collide.

This would test their courage and instinct for danger.

But unbeknownst to them, as they prepared themselves for this ordeal, the

devilish clown magically moved the wall forward.

So would the princes fall for the jester's prank?

And more importantly, would they see the funny side of his wicked weeds?

First to be fooled was Prince Matt.

I've just run flat out into a brick wall.

I'm a little bit pissed off. I don't like pranks.

I always like to be honest and know what's happening. So, yeah, I'm not

Hitting the jester's wall next would be Prince Arthur.

When I took off the mask, I thought it was quite funny.

Saw the light side of it rather than to be annoyed.

I think after watching that, Arthur seems to be more my type. He's

for a laugh, like, doesn't take himself too seriously.

Looks good to be with you.

Yeah. Yeah. He'd entertain you. Yeah. And finally, last to go was Prince John.

I didn't have an idea what was going on. I thought it was a serious task, but I

guess my instincts aren't that good.

It was clear that the prince that caught the eye of the princess in this and

other tests of love was Prince Arthur.

And soon, this man -mountain of a man was crowned her Prince Charlie.

When the gate opened and I saw my prince, I was really quite pleased. He's

definitely my type, tall, dark and handsome, prince material.

I just wanted to go give him a kiss.

She's a gorgeous looking girl, lovely long brunette hair.

I also think she made a good choice choosing me.

It was obvious there was an instant attraction that both felt for one

But would this feeling remain when they returned to the real world?

Oh, yes, there they are. I didn't recognise them in their civvies.

Oh, what a gent.

Oh, I can see a bra.

Hope she doesn't spill anything on her towel.

Oh, gazoops, man.

Control yourself.

Still, no complaints from Zoe.

What would you cook if I came over and took her, dear? I don't know. Probably

like a green Thai curry or something.

That's my fave.

Is it really? Oh, my God, yeah.

No way.

I do think I fancy Arthur, yeah, because he's got the tall, dark, handsome feel

to him. He's a really nice lad, and he made me laugh.

I think Zoe's gorgeous.

I've got a great figure, I love her style.

Yeah, I think I have to go with Zoe.

It's all going very well, but let's not move too fast, shall we?

Do you have a name to top chair?

Is that the right gal? Yeah, I think I'll move.

Okay. Yeah.

So he can cook her favourite meal and would be willing to move to her

I wonder if that impressed Princess Zoe.

Ah, yes, it appears it would. Good Lord, get a room, will you? So it may be a

stupid question, but has tonight gone well?

Scale of one to ten, I think I fancy Zoe a nine.

I would rate this date as an eight. I think we've got a really well compared

a lot of dates that I've been on.

So, it would seem that love was most definitely in the air for our Zoe and

And who knows?

Perhaps this may be their happily ever after they've been searching for.

With sorrow in my heart, I must inform you all that there is just one final

of love for us to tell.

Return to our realm of romance soon, as the story of my little princess

concludes.

Each one of you drunk?

Yeah.

Welcome back to My Little Princess.

Our final lady looking for love was a receptionist from the land of Milton

Keynes called Roxy.

Helping her find her prince charming was her dad, a 43 -year -old bid man called

Sam.

The kind of boy I like is someone that's quite career -minded.

Someone that's confident, that will look after me as much as I could look after

him. I do know Rochambe. I feel very confident I can pick the right guy for

The ones that you've always said, oh, yeah, he's a white guy, have turned out

be absolute fat.

So, yeah, in that sense, I am worried.

Now, as a trained refuse collector, Dad knew rubbish when he saw it, so he

wanted a prince charming to be able to do the same.

He wanted someone who could spot the Puddle of Trouble.

The princes came across a series of intriguing puddles blocking their

Some were good, some were bad.

To help steer them towards the right path, a series of ghostly apparitions

appear before their princely eyes, enticing them to step forward into one

puddles.

On this occasion, it was a vision of two older gentlemen.

One of them had just eaten a full, rich breakfast.

Lovely. He would guide them to the good puddle.

The other had just downed a bottle of vodka and was as drunk as a skunk. He

would lead our princes towards the back.

I think that the one that looks like a lady over here is not

drunk, just going off first impressions. They're never wrong.

But looking at his face, you could tell he drinks a lot.

Bit of a lost soul.

This guy looks...

Very smiley and chirpy.

That could be because he's had a drink, or he could just be a bubbly person.

The gentleman over here is drunk.

Again, just going off first impressions. They've never done me wrong. This guy

looks more chilled out and relaxed, but he doesn't look drunk.

This guy looks quite fit, like he maintains himself, so obviously he won't

too keen on the drink.

And so, it was time for our princes to stand by their puddle.

Prince Charlie and Prince Navid believed the white -haired gentleman was stone

-cold sober and would lead them to safety, whilst Prince Aram put his faith

the rosy cheeks of the other gentle gentleman.

It was time to discover the terrible, drunken truth.

Oh, my God!

And so, it came to pass that Prince Aram was defeated by a drunken demon with

the hair of a middle -aged lady.

Prince Charlie and Navid's survival in this contest of love would continue

they were the last two princes standing in the final sing -off for the heart of

Princess Roxy.

My life is brilliant.

My life is pure.

I saw an angel, of that I'm sure.

She smiled at me on the subway, she was with another man.

But I won't lose any sleep on that, cause I've got a plan.

I saw your face, in a crowded place.

And I don't know what to do.

Cos I'll never be with you.

Unsurprisingly, after hearing this, there was only ever going to be one

You're beautiful.

You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

When I heard his voice...

I got goosebumps.

It was absolutely amazing.

When I opened the gate, I was really surprised and impressed.

I don't normally go for brunettes, but she's absolutely gorgeous.

Would this promising start have a happy ending?

Time to find out as we return our prince and princess back to the real world to

see if fairy tales really do come true.

And there they are.

Oh, not very popular, this place.

Still, everything looks better with a drink in your hand.

Can we have another bottle of that, please? Yes, sure. Another bottle? You

haven't eaten anything yet.

Are you trying to get me drunk?

Well, at least it's a fine wine. Quite sophisticated.

Like Charlie.

Have you ever had, like, Bene?

Bene? You mean the fabled city of Roman?

Is it called venison?

Venison. Venison. No, sorry to disappoint, but a venison is not someone

comes from Venice.

I need to bear in mind he is a little bit younger than me.

Little things that have been said or little things that he does have been,

pushed aside.

Because, generally, he is a really nice guy.

So it's all going rather well. But how's the fine wine up?

Thank you.

Yes, it's very Moorish, isn't it? Oh, look, the waitress. Pudding, anyone?

Thank you.

That's a big Zambuca.

You're trying to get us drunk, aren't you?

Well, our merry couple may be drunk on drink, but are they intoxicated with

other? That's the question.

Here's to a wicked first date, yeah? Thank you. Did you enjoy yourself? Yeah.

really enjoyed myself.

Thank you.

There was a bit of chemistry with me and Charlie, I think.

If I was going to mark this date out of ten, I would say nine, because I've not

felt awkward at all.

I've felt that I can be myself 100%. Two -thing or three, I'm going, definitely.

I'm not every girl's cup of tea, but the fact that she likes who I was and who I

am is hit a warm spot.

Well, well, well.

Could seem that this unlikely pair may have finally found their happy ending

after all.

And so, the door to our realm of romance is about to close for good.

May you all find someone to share your fairy tale with and get to live happily

ever after.

But remember, the quest for love is a magical thing that sometimes makes no

sense at all.

the kings of Tosca.