Original subtitles

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was the apple of her dad's eye.

As she grew up, many boys tried to woo her, but none were good enough for dad.

So now, to help find her one true love, dad and daughter have both agreed to

enter a fairytale realm of romance full of hot single boys who, upon entering

this magical kingdom, are transformed into handsome princes.

sharpings all prepared to do anything to win a date with this week's princess

the

king's a toss -up

don't get me wrong but this is

quite a tricky decision

Entering the wondrous world of My Little Princess and hoping to find her prince

charming is a barmaid called Zoe Embry from a land not so far, far away called

Shrewsbury. Hello, my name's Zoe.

In five years' time, I would like to be married, maybe have a mortgage, my own

hair salon, to be quite settled compared to what I am now.

I do like somebody that takes care of themselves.

It is quite important for somebody to be quite well educated, but not too

educated, because they probably wouldn't get on well, because they wouldn't have

a clue what they're on about.

The good news for Princess Zoe is that in this magical kingdom, there is a

village full of manly young butts, all desperate to find that one lucky lady to

share a mortgage with.

And this week, fighting for love.

I've been single now for seven to eight years.

because my first girlfriend was absolutely incredible.

This week, I'd like to be the strongest boy just to show that the underdog has a

chance because I am the underdog. I know that.

I'm a senior professional footballer.

I've been single for as long as I can remember, really. I'm not really the

girlfriend.

Other people would describe me as probably retarded, but I describe myself

bit crazy, wild.

I don't do a lot of thinking, really.

I think I am a ladies' man, but I think I've got class with it as well, so I'm

not a male flag.

I sort of know a little bit more what to expect now, so I can put my all into

the challenges and try and win a date with a princess.

I'm still recovering from the aches and pains of last week. Got to do it all

again, but it's got to be worth it in the hunk for love.

And so the stage was set for these hot princely hunks to win the heart of

Princess Zoe.

Ah, but there was a catch.

Because standing in their path is a formidable 56 -year -old builder called

Phil, otherwise known as... Jack.

I've heard this saying over the years, treat him mean.

and keep them keen, and I just don't go along with it. I think if you've got a

beautiful young lady like this, you should treat them like a princess and

after her, because I'm not going to be here forever, so I need somebody to

replace me.

As yet, the princes know not what Princess Zoe looks like. This privilege

only be granted to the winner of this race for romance.

And in order to do that, our princes must first impress Dad by surviving a

series of terrible, twisted tests of love.

The first of which is a contraption of attraction called... The Catapult of

Compatibility!

In order to survive the deadly catapult, all our brave young princes need to do

is think exactly like Dad's little princess.

Do this well enough, and dad will not only think they're most suited to his

daughter, but will also refrain from lobbing them into the lake of losers.

So, with everybody sitting comfortably, it was time for dad's examination of

suitability to begin.

If in the future, my little princess is to have a baby girl,

What would she call her?

Brianna or June?

Brianna.

Think she would like to name her baby June?

June.

Brianna.

June.

So who is right and who is wrong?

Princess Zoe, please tell us your future child's name.

If I was to have a baby girl, I'd call her Brianna because I like Bree for

and Bree's also my favourite chief.

The landing

was horrible. My head is absolutely pounding.

So I just hope Princess is going to be a 10 out of 10.

I think I'll catapult it into a lake.

I landed on my nut.

It really hurt over there, like, kind of numb.

Really cold.

Ears throbbing. I really hope this princess is worth it.

Three princes gone already, leaving just Prince Joe, Prince Luke, Prince Scotty

and Prince John to face Dad's next question of compatibility.

What does my little princess hate the most?

Awkward silences.

Or people that talk too much.

Awkward silences.

People who talk too much.

Awkward silences.

People that talk too much.

So, it is time to put the princes out of their misery and reveal the thoughts of

Princess Zoe.

awkward silence makes me feel uncomfortable because i feel if i'm on a

somebody they should be making an effort and chatting so then it like makes it a

little bit awkward uncomfortable if they're not really haven't got much to

It was horrible being sat in my chair, so nervous and apprehensive, just

I'm really light, so I thought I was going to go flying for Abbey Lake.

Prince Scotty and Prince Luke are now the last princes sitting on the

Who will be crowned this week's most compatible prince?

What would be the worst thing to bring my little princess on a first date?

Box of chocolates or a bunch of flowers?

Box of chocolate.

Bunch of flowers.

One of our princes is wrong, but who will it be?

Princess Zoe, please reveal to us the correct answer to this compatibility

conundrum.

I think the worst thing to bring me on a first date would be chocolate. I much

prefer flowers. I think it's more of a first date thing. I think it's a lot

romantic.

Oh, dear.

A bit rude.

So, Prince Scotty's foul -mouthed exit means that it is Prince Luke who

in this first trial of love.

I feel now I've kind of done, like, the going out and the going on lad's

holidays and being, like, this, like, nutcase, basically.

I'd actually really like to meet a really nice girl and...

Just look after and hopefully have the fairytale ending now. I'm ready for

I feel.

Prince Luke's place in the next part of this princely contest is thus assured.

Which is more than can be said for the other princely losers.

In particular, the first fools to fly on Dad's compatibility catapult.

This is Matt, sir. What do you think of this guy?

He's a little bit orange. I can't have someone more oranger than me.

He said he'd...

He wouldn't mind if you had a daughter called June.

Oh, God, why would he think I'd call my daughter June? I don't know.

OK, so have a look at this guy. His name's Luke.

His hair's a bit spiky. He looks a bit aggressive.

Do you think so?

Yeah, maybe.

So this is Arthur.

He's got nice hair.

Yeah,

he's quite tall. He's nice.

On the test today, he wasn't very good at all.

I don't think he's the one for you, though.

These foolish princes had dismayed Dad.

But there was one other prince in particular whose deeds displeased him

more.

OK, so look at this guy here. His name's Scotty.

He swore in public.

That's really bad.

It's a bit disrespectful in front of my father.

I don't think, like, if I brought him home to you and he started swearing in

front of you, you'd be looking down on him a bit, and I wouldn't want that

anyway if my boyfriend was doing something like that. Exactly.

He'd be out the door if he started swearing anyway. Yeah.

And so, the time has come for Dad to decide which prince should be the first

taste the bitter water of the moat of rejection.

I'm pissed off. Really, really annoyed. I don't know why I got in the moat

before. I wanted to see what the other challenges were, because this is the

exact same situation I got kicked off last time.

Gotti actually swore in public.

He actually said a word that I couldn't really repeat.

And I'm not having anybody that goes out with my daughter that uses bad

language. So he had to go.

The king's a tosser.

So Prince Scotty is gone, but fear not, for he will return next week for another

princely battle of love.

For the remaining six princes, their quest to be crowned Dad's Prince

will go on.

Return to us with Godspeed, as the tale of My Little Princess continues.

Yeah, the girl to my right, she has a nice wrap, don't get me wrong, but this

quite a tricky decision.

welcome back to my little princess dad's quest to find a one true love for his

darling daughter was a task that he did not take lightly for princess zoe was

not just any ordinary girl to dad she was the most precious thing in the whole

wild world she means everything to me and i'd die for her if i had to die for

her i'd die for her i know what you like when you're out if you drink

You let your hair down and you're a bit vulnerable, Enzo.

Yeah, I suppose so. Guys get the wrong impression of a party girl. I need

somebody to step into my shoes and to look after you.

Somebody that I feel confident is going to look after you.

I'm not ten.

I know you're not ten, but you still need protecting in some circumstances.

If Dad would do anything to protect his daughter, then the question was, would

our princess do the same?

It was a thought that the evil witch of the castle was most keen to examine.

For this purpose, she transforms our fine and noble hunk into man

-sized, birdy bodyguards.

Oh, well.

That tickled her, didn't it?

Our princely birdman's challenge is to use their powers of flight to protect

princess's most precious possession.

Her mum.

My mum is one amazing woman, very strong, always been there.

She's the first person that I'd call if I needed anything.

She is the most precious person to me in the whole wide world.

The evil Jester will shoot deadly missiles directly at a portrait of dear

Ma.

Whichever birdman takes the most hits for mummy will win the greatest favour

with Dad and Princess Shelly.

With this thought in their bird -like brains, the princes prepare themselves

the Jester's onslaught of pain.

I hate losing. I do my utmost not to lose. And if I do lose, I salt for

Come on, Prince Luke. Take the Jester's balls like a man.

Next it's Prince Matt.

That's it.

And he's gone.

Replaced by rapping Prince Hot God.

Oh, dear.

Oh, look.

It's little Prince Joe. A bit unfair, as he needs to bounce higher than the

rest. Unlike Prince Arthur, the man -mountain, I mean he hardly needs to

at all.

Oh, we got careless there.

Off you toodle.

Finally, it's Prince John the Geeky One. Smack, bang, wallop! And it's goodbye,

Mum. Oh, that's a bit theatrical.

It was no fun at all having the tiny jesters' giant balls bang into their

princely faces.

But... It was endured by all for the princess.

And there is one prince who endured more than all others to triumph in this test

of devotion.

His name is Prince Arthur, who took an incredible 12 balls of fancy pain.

I think this week I can go all the way, actually. Although the king is quite

foreboding, I think me and him could have a connection.

Out of most of them, he's probably, like, the better -looking one, apart

his big ears.

So, if Prince Arthur twas this birdly contest's hero, who was the biggest

villain? Well, that honour goes to the pathetic Prince Luke, who took a meagre

three hits for the princess's mum, a fact that greatly disturbed Dad Phil.

This is Luke.

Absolutely rubbish in this last test.

They didn't try hard enough.

He's a bit ordinary -looking, so I wouldn't mind really if he went.

Pushing Prince Luke for bottom place was Prince John, who took just four balls

of pain.

He is John. Bless him, he's a bit geeky, not really my type.

Hair's terrible.

What's wrong with geeky types, though?

I just can't imagine him being that funny and, like, real into books and

and I've never read a book in my life.

Quite right, books are for losers.

Anyhoo, tis time for Dad to decide.

Which of these princely losers to banish forthwith from his kingdom for good?

Luke did very well on the last challenge.

But this challenge, he wasn't very good at all.

I don't think he tried as hard as he did. He didn't put any effort into it.

for that reason, he's got it.

I am absolutely devastated.

I think him and the princess have made a terrible decision, and I don't agree

with it all. Big mistake on their part, big loss on their part.

The story of my life is probably getting so close to the prize, but then ending

up just getting banished like a little peasant.

So another prince bites the dust.

But enough of him. Let's turn our gaze.

to the fine manly form of the previous task's champion, a tower of a prince,

with big muscles, big ears, and big pearly white teeth.

Since the release of Magic Mike, I've been compared a lot to Channing Tatum.

My best features, I would say, are my confidence.

I've got no problem completely being myself around anyone, no matter who they

are.

My worst features, I would say, is my ears.

Picked on for those when I was younger. Often got compared to the FA Cup.

Oldest lady I've pulled, believe it or not, would be 47.

But it was when I was 16.

Prince Arthur's fondness for grannies was an intriguing revelation.

But it mattered not to Dad, for his main concern... it was to find someone who

would be able to protect his princess from the evils of the modern world.

For in Dad's mind, danger lurks everywhere.

If I'm with my dad and we're walking across the road, he always tries to grab

hand, no matter what.

So he's, like, really quite protective.

I suppose it's, like, a natural instinct anyway, but, yeah, he likes to hold my

hand across the road.

Being able to spot trouble is a virtue Dad holds in great esteem.

So with that in mind... Tis time to see which of our princes can survive.

The deadly huddle of rubble.

our princes come across a series of intriguing puddles, blocking their

Some are good, some are bad.

To help steer them towards the right path, a series of ghostly apparitions

appear before their princely eyes, enticing them to step forward into one

puddles. The first of these visions is Two Glamorous Looking Ladies.

One of them has truthful lips, as God intended.

They will guide the princes towards the puddle of safety.

The other has lying, unnatural lips, created by some crazy doctor in a

laboratory. They will lead them into the puddles of trouble.

As ever, watching them with great interest, our dad and his princess Zoe.

I think both ladies look like they've had quite a lot of work done.

I think the lady on my left, I think she looks like she's had most work done. I

think her cheekbones, her lips.

This lady here seems like she would not go close to fake lips because her

clothes are very elegant and her lips are more defined.

She obviously wants to make an impression, which does lead me to

she would like to have some kind of surgery.

I think this lady has had a lot more plastic surgery.

Looks like she may have had cheek implants, possibly an eyebrow lift.

Looks like she's got hair extensions in as well. She just looks a bit more

flaggish. I think the lady on this side looks a bit more natural.

She's more elegant and doesn't seem like the kind of girl who would have her

lips done.

This lady has bigger lips, but I think it's a lot more natural apart from her

big lips.

Her lips are a bit pouted and bloated and her clothes seem a bit...

To put it politely, nat.

Her lips do look a little bit unnatural, but she looks a lot more natural than

the lady on my left.

It wasn't as obvious as I first thought.

The princes must now stand by the puddle of the lady whose lips they trusteth

the most.

Prince John and Prince Hot Frosty have placed their trust in the luscious lips

of the straight -haired lady.

While Prince Matt, Prince Arthur, and Prince Joe believe the lips of the other

lady with the metal in her nose are pure and natural.

It was now time for each of them to step forward and discover the truth.

So foolish and naive Prince Arthur, Prince Joe and Prince Matt are the first

fall foul of the puddles of trouble.

Oh, my God!

Yeah, it was really good that I got it wrong. I feel like I should know the

difference now between, like, fake lips and normal lips, you know?

Kissing a lot of lips in my time, I'm hoping I'd be able to get it right, but

didn't. I didn't think I was a good judge of people who'd had enhancements

not, because... I don't mind whether girls have fake boobs or real boobs or

lips or real lips. It's their decision, you know.

I like to go to the gym and change my body, so why can't they?

It's a little bit of a shock, and I went a little bit deeper than I expected,

and I was a little bit gutted, actually, because I thought I'd got that in the

bag.

Only Prince John and Prince Hot Frosty now remain as they step forward to face

the puddle puzzle number two.

Again, a ghostly apparition appears before them.

Once more, it's a pair of lovely -looking ladies.

One of them is a perfectly nice and ordinary girl with a perfectly ordinary

job. She will guide them to the good puddle. The other lady comes out to work

night and gets paid to remove all her clothes for the twisted pleasure of men.

Needless to say, She must be avoided, for she will lead our princes towards

puddle of badness.

Yeah, the girl to my right is... She has a nice rack, don't get me wrong. I like

it. But I think the girl to my left has more of a natural look.

I'm not very good at judge at this, so I'm just going to go for the easiest

option, which is eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a tigger by its toe, if it

shouts, let it go, eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

Once more, the princes deliver their verdict by standing in front of their

chosen puddle.

And incredibly, both Prince John and Prince Hot Frosty believe the naked lady

dancer is the girl on the left.

So, they will either triumph together or be disgraced together.

It was time to discover the terrible naked truth.

Food of gun -kiss.

Incredibly, both businesses are correct.

Angered by their victory, the apparition reveals unto them her deadly wares.

Good Lord.

With their eyes still haunted by this vision, both princes move on to the

and final puddle of trouble puzzle.

Once again, two lady apparitions appear before them, one of whom has the nose

she was born with.

She will guide them into the good puddle.

The other has a lying, deceitful snout gifted to her by the surgeon's knife.

This nasal fraudster will lead them into a whole puddle of trouble.

The girl to my right has a slightly longer nose.

She also has a long face, so her nose actually works with her features.

And in a way, maybe, like, the girl with the slightly smaller nose, maybe that

sort of stands out more as not being real, because it's smaller to the rest

her face, maybe. This is quite a tricky decision.

Um... I generally don't have a clue.

But my instincts are telling me to go here.

It was time to stand by their puddles. Prince John believes the nose of the

denim -shirted lady is truthful, whilst Prince Hot Frosty believes the nose of

the vested lady does not lie.

One prince is right. The other is in a puddle of trouble.

It is time for them both.

To discover their fate.

And so it came to pass that Prince Hotcrofty is the one who has defeated

Puddles of Trouble. His reward is to go through into the next round of this

contest of love.

To have another shot at love and to be back here fighting for another princess.

I'm really upbeat about it. I really want to date this princess.

The fate of the other four princely failures, however, is less certain.

Dad must now dispatch one to his mote of rejection.

But who will he choose to lose?

This is Arthur.

Do you think I should get rid of him?

No, definitely don't get rid of Arthur.

Out of most of them, he's probably, like, the better -looking one, apart

his big ears.

You sure?

Mm.

What about Joe?

Yeah, he hasn't done very well, has he, in the last couple of tasks.

Definitely think about getting rid of Joe, over Arthur anyway.

What about Matt?

Because he equally, the same as the other two, didn't do very well.

Matt's been, like, quite even all the way through, hasn't he, really?

It's probably like one of the first tasks he hasn't done too well on.

I think give him a second chance.

They can't all have a second chance. I've got to get rid of one of them. I

you should think about it between Matt and Joe, maybe.

Right. With the thoughts of his darling daughter whirling through his brain, Dad

decides which prince's time must come to an end.

He's a lovely guy, Joey.

But I'd say he's a bit on the small side, and I'd be a little bit worried

he wouldn't be able to protect her.

I think it'd probably be the other way round, so he'd have to protect him.

And that's not what I'm looking for.

So Joe had to go.

I made it to the final last week, almost made it to the final again this week.

I'm just wondering when it's going to be my time.

So as we bid farewell to Prince Joe, let us also give praise to our four

surviving princes, and in particular, the most unusual of them all.

For perhaps this is the week of the geek.

Some people have said I'm a lad, but I wouldn't say I'm a lad.

I'm more of a romantic.

And especially for love, I'm looking for just someone to hold hands with and

walk with and talk to.

She'd laugh at my jokes. I could tell you a joke if I wanted to tell you a

OK.

What do you call a Spanish fireman?

Jose.

Jose.

And she'd laugh at that joke.

So let us give a hearty cheer to Prince John, Prince Matt, Prince Arthur and

Prince Hot Frosty.

Which of them will win this week's contest of love?

Return to us soon, my friends, as the story of My Little Princess continues.

Welcome back to My Little Princess, where just four princes are left. Only

can be crowned this week's Prince Charming.

And one who hopes it is his destiny.

is the prince with the chiselled jaw, sculpted hair and model good looks.

Yes, it's Prince Matt.

All the time I get compared to Johnny Bravo. I think it's the hair and the

shape. It's pretty much every day now. I think romance is really important. If

you meet the right person, you want to spend time with them, but you want to

remember it and not just... I'm 28 now as well, so I don't really want to take

girl on a night out and get, you know, pissed off. I'd rather go for a nice

or it might be special, so...

I'm very, very competitive. I always want to be number one, and I'll do

I can to get there, just knowing that I have done everything.

If I don't become number one, I'll only fall slightly short, and that might be

second or third, but I always strive to be number one.

For the three surviving princes, they too believe they have something special

woo the princess.

Back in the princely village, Prince Hot Frosty reveals his talents to his

princely rivals.

Go on, give us that rap.

It's like, um... If

I

was a girl, that is what I would watch. She'd be straight on it like that. I

would drop my knickers like that for you.

If I was a girl. I mean, it's game over. Give me the ring.

You got a poem?

If the princess is right here, I'd say this to her.

Catching the stars in the sky, I'd throw them into your eyes and make your eyes

full of the caramelised star sky.

I'm melting.

I think she's going to be lucky to have you, John.

But she'll be the only one that wants her. You make me sound like I'm a

I'm not weird. I'm just a normal guy, really. You're quirky.

Come on, I'm not quirky. You are. You're the quirkiest guy I've ever met.

Talking of quirky fellows, here's the tiny jester of the castle again.

Not satisfied with bashing his balls into the prince's faces, he has another

wheeze up his sleeve.

The Jester's Wall of Opportunity.

The Jester's challenge to the four remaining princes was to run blindfold

towards a wall and stop before they hit it.

Why? Well, it was an opportunity to impress Dad with their great courage,

and intuition.

Naturally, all did this eagerly.

Then when the jester gave them a chance to improve on their efforts and do it

again, well, if it were for the princess, then why not?

This time, though, they would not be running at the Wall of Opportunity. They

would be confronting the Wall of Gullibility!

For unbeknownst to all, the devilish clown has magically moved his wall

So will the princes fall for his princely prank?

Well, let's find out, shall we?

First to be fooled is Prince Matt.

Oh, my God, how did he do that?

Don't think much of the the king sense of humor.

I've just run flat out into a brick wall. I'm a little bit pissed off I

like pranks. I always like to be honest and know what's happening. So yeah, I'm

not happy I bet he was like really concerned about his looks when he hit

that he might have done something He was a bit gullible on that wasn't he

though? Yeah, and as you said he was lucky he didn't break his little pretty

nose The next princely fool to face the jester's wall of gullibility is

Prince Hot Frosty.

I'm not really one for practical jokes, no.

I don't normally play them. Some people act the clown or act the joker.

It depends what it is, I guess. If it's, I don't know, putting toothpaste in my

trainers or something before I go out. Depending on the mood I'm in, I might be

a little bit frustrated about it.

Or if I'm in a good mood and things have gone well, I'll be like, oh, nice one.

The next victim of the jester's japery twill be Prince Arthur.

Oh, my God, that's terrible.

I thought I'd try and impress the dad, go as hard as I could, and because of

that, I hit the wall really, really hard.

I already knew that I was really gullible.

I don't think I needed that challenge to prove that to myself.

But when I took off the mask, I thought actually it was quite funny.

Saw the light side a bit rather than to be annoyed.

I think after watching that, Arthur seems to be more my type. He's

for a laugh. Like, didn't take himself too seriously.

Looked good to be with you.

Yeah. Yeah. He'd entertain you. Yeah.

And finally, the last prince to be deceived, tis Prince John.

That's no bad.

I didn't have any idea what was going on. I thought it was a serious task, but

guess my instincts aren't that good.

And so, having seen the results of the naughty jester's joke, Dad considers two

things. A prince's gullibility and a prince's suitability for his darling

daughter.

Oh, he looks like he'd be, like, quite a gullible person.

He is gullible, though. Aw.

So do you feel sorry for the Geek, though? Not really.

You don't?

No, it's just him all over. I can just imagine, like... Everything he does.

Yeah, the Geek's so gullible.

This done, it is time to escort one princely offender off his premises

forevermore.

I gave it my all, and I guess if the dad didn't like that, and he was on the

gullible side of me, and not the side which was trying to impress him, then

enough. I don't want anybody going out with my Zoe that's that gullible.

So I'm sorry, John had to go. I'm upset.

I guess I'll be coming back.

Maybe another princess will be there for me.

Prince John's departure from this magical land leaves Dad with now just

magnificent princes.

Only one will win a date with Princess Zoe.

But the question is, does Dad Phil have a favourite princely prince?

Luke got in the last three. I think he's a good contender.

He's done really well on most of the challenges. He's really tried hard, so

deserves it.

Matt, he's a lovely guy. He's a good -looking chap as well.

Bit of a male model. I could go along with that. But I think he's still got a

lot to prove in this last challenge.

I'm so pleased that Arthur got into the final three.

He's charming, personality,

he's funny.

He's a big, strong guy. He's the sort of guy that I could see going out with my

Zoe. It's down to them now who wants us the most.

So let the best man win.

And so, the stage is set for this penultimate act in this princely play.

To be a simple race for a rose.

For this battle, our remaining princes must propel themselves across the Lake

Destiny, towards the Boat of Belief, using only their generously proportioned

hoses of glory.

There, they will find Dad, who will bequeath unto just two of them a single

rose.

Whichever prince fails to grab a flower of romance will be cast out of the

competition forever.

And so, it was all to play for, as they waited for the sound of the

tiny jester's bugle.

And they're off! Just

look at them! You beauties!

Three buffed -up young men!

thrusting themselves across an English lake. Is there any finer vision of

manhood than this?

Just look at the watery Adonis that is Prince Arthur, steering his sturdy ship

on a steady course towards Dad's love boat.

At the beginning of the week, I said Matt was a rival to me.

I haven't really seen Luke as a rival at all throughout the whole competition.

I think it's become quite apparent that the king's been looking for bigger,

broader guys for his daughter.

Could appear that Prince Matt is in the lead. But wait! What?

What's he doing, the silly sausage?

He's lost control of his lovecraft and he's going the wrong way.

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

When I met all the other princes, to be honest, I didn't really think any of

them were a threat, you know, especially on looks and how physical they looked.

Prince Matt has managed to steer his vessel back on course.

But his mistake has let in Prince Luke, who is now gliding his Lovecraft like a

maritime master towards death.

I do feel confident I'm going to win this, yeah.

I'm going to give it my all. I desperately want to see the prince

ready for the challenge.

Incredibly, Prince Matt is going the wrong way again. Oh, you blithering

You're making yourself look like a fool now.

But watch this.

Yes! Prince Harper the Magnificent is first to claim a rose of romance from

Well done, lad.

Look at him. He couldn't be any happier.

Meanwhile, poor Prince Matt has lost the watery plot completely, leaving the

majestic Prince Luke free to slip his ship into Dad's port and collect the

flower.

So, from the three princely starters, tis Prince Matt whose voyage of love has

come to an end.

I'm gutted, actually. I really went for it this week, and I think if I had got

to the final, I would have beat the other princes. I was going to give it

everything. I've seemed to get on really well with the king, so I was looking

forward to meeting the princess, but it's not to be.

Victory, then, for Prince Arthur and Prince Luke.

whose sterling work on the shores of this lake of destiny ensures their fairy

tale shall continue.

I was excited when I got the rose. I'm hoping I'll finally get a date with the

princess. He got lucky in the boat race. He used his big ears to propel himself

along.

Because Luke's a rapper, I think I might beat him in the next task.

I think I'm a bit of a better singer than him.

After they've had a chance, I'm going to take that big boy to school. I'm going

to teach him a lesson.

Only one more trial stands between these two princeliest of princes and a date

with Princess Zoe.

Which of them is destined to have what they desire most of all? A happy ending.

Welcome back to My Little Princess.

Our story of love is nearly at a close.

Just two princes now remain.

Prince Hot Frosty and Prince Tom.

Their quest for love has seen them defeat Prince Scotty.

The kings of Tosser.

Prince Luke.

Devastated.

Prince Joe.

I'm just wondering when it's going to be my time.

Prince John.

Fair enough.

And Prince Max.

I'm gutted, actually. I really went for it this week.

They have done all of this to show their worth to Dad and his mystery princess.

Only one could be crowned this week's Prince Charming.

But this time, it won't be Dad Phil deciding who stays and who goes.

It'll be the princess herself, Zoe.

We've got the final two now, Arthur and Luke. They thoroughly deserve to be

where they are, but now it's down to them.

It's a win very over.

I don't tend to go for looks. I'm not too bothered about it. I prefer somebody

that can make me laugh. If someone can make me laugh, that's it.

Good -looking people always seem, like, quite bland and boring.

I'm not nervous. I'm excited now.

It's only just kind of occurred to me what I might be doing.

So now I really hope she picks me.

Throughout the week, we've been having a good laugh with the king, so I think

she'll have a good sense of humour.

I still don't know what she looks like at all, but I've got high hopes.

Both princes will sing a song of love to Princess Zoe from behind her garden

wall.

Unable to see her princely serenaders, she must identify her one true love by

whoever she thinks sings the sweetest.

And so, with the heart of the princess at stake, it was time for this final

battle of song to begin.

Close your eyes. Give me your hand, darling.

Do you feel my heart beating?

Do you understand?

Do you feel the same?

Am I only dreaming?

Or is this burning an eternal

flame?

I don't want to lose this feeling.

So, Prince Arthur has sung his heart out for the princess.

Now, will Prince Hot Frosty's singing be as good as his rapping?

Let's find out.

I believe it's meant to be, darling.

I'll watch you when you are sleeping. You belong with me. Do you

feel the same?

Am I only dreaming?

Or is this burning an eternal

flame?

The princess, having heard both princely voices, must now decide whose song

melteth her heart the most.

I've now heard both the voices, and the first boy, I'd like to put a lot of

effort into it. It seemed to be having fun, so that's quite a good positive.

I think on any day of the week, I'm a lot better singer than Luke.

I'm not really worried about him as competition.

He doesn't stand a chance.

I think the other boy's voice sounds a little bit dull, really wasn't putting

any effort into it, and didn't seem like he was enjoying it.

I've got Arthur in a bag, like, I'm going to put him in my pocket and, yeah,

going to take it.

It was time for Princess Zoe to finally reveal the prince charming she has

chosen to enter her garden of love.

Ah, of course, it's Prince Arthur.

It was the flaming loveliness of his voice that finally won this contest of

love. But what does Princess Zoe think of her princely prize?

When the gate opened and I saw my prince, I was really quite pleased. He's

definitely my type, tall, dark and handsome, prince material.

I just wanted to go give him a kiss.

When the gates opened, I saw Princess Zoe standing there. I was really happy.

She's a gorgeous -looking girl, lovely, long, brunette hair.

I also think she made a good choice choosing me.

Oh, I might need to buy a new hat.

But what of Dad?

Surely he was over the moon with her choice of Prince Charming.

I'm really happy with the choice that Zoe's picked.

He's an absolutely charming guy, tall, dark, handsome, strong. He'll protect

Zoe. Fantastic choice.

And he'd better not let me down.

Well, it looks like the path of true love is running smoothly.

But will they really get to live happily ever after? Well, that's another story.

Next time on My Little Princess.

Has your mum ever caught you having sex?

No.