Original subtitles

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was the apple of her dad's eye.

As she grew up, many boys tried to woo her, but none were good enough for dad.

So now, to help find her one true love, dad and daughter have both agreed to

enter a fairy tale realm of romance, full of hot single boys.

who, upon entering this magical kingdom, are transformed into handsome Prince

Charles.

I'm Jamie. I'm 23.

I've been single for about six months now.

My ideal man is Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon, is it? With long hair.

Oh, amazing.

But there was a catch.

For in this magical kingdom, it would not be the princess picking her prince

charming, it would be the true ruler of this land, her dad.

I know for a fact I can do a better job than Jamie at finding her a prince.

Maybe not by looks and that, I mean, that's down to her, it's down to her

preference, but definitely whether they've got to be a savvy round them or

I am quite excited about it, for letting him have a go and...

He's always wanted to pick my boyfriend for me because he thinks he could do so

much better, so this time we'll see.

So any boy wishing to win the heart of the princess must first endeavour to

impress her dad by surviving a series of terrible, twisted tests of love.

This week entering the world of My Little Princess is a cocktail waitress

Jamie Plum and her dad Dickie, a property wheeler dealer from a land not

far away called Amersham.

My dad is overly protective about me.

Jamie lives in a caravan next to the house and that's got a big fence round

Also, I've got a big wall all round the house.

Plus, I've got five dogs.

And on top of that, I've got cameras as well, and one of them points right at

her caravan.

I don't tell boyfriends anything about my dad.

I think he intimidates them quite a lot, because then they're a bit scared to

talk to him. In the day, that's my daughter.

I love her.

And if they can't look after her, then they've got to go, haven't they?

Whether she likes it or not.

Hoping to impress Dad and win a date with his daughter are a brave bunch of

-hungry hunks that live together in a princely village.

And it was here that a list of Dad Dickie's demands were dispatched for all

read.

The ideal guy for my daughter would just be someone that's sensible, goes to

work, treats her right.

I don't want an idiot that's walking around with his trousers half down.

Pull your trousers up, do you know what I mean, and get on with your life.

The princes were not gifted a picture of this week's little princess, so they

knew not what she looked like.

But propelled by the mere possibility of love, a band of eight princely heroes

set forth to apply for the position of Dad's Prince Char.

I'd really like to find true love. It's just so hard because I put a wall up. I

kind of attract the wrong women because they think I'm a player.

But I'm not really a player. It's easier to act a player than be heard.

I am a bit of an entrepreneur and I'm always looking for the next big thing,

even when it comes to women.

I've never really had a proper girlfriend, to be honest with you. I

obviously I've had stuff beforehand, but nothing like long -lasting or anything

like that.

Making a good first impression upon Dad is of the greatest concern to all our

princely heroes.

With that in mind, t 'was time for them all to pay a visit to... The Gift Shop

of Death!

The gift shop of Dad contains seven gifts that will be mostly pleasing to

eye of Dad Dicky.

And one gift so bad that Beelzebub himself might ask if you'd kept the

This week, that beastly gift is... A calendar full of big,

hairy, massively endowed naked men.

Good Lord.

To avoid giving Dad this present from Hell, our eight princes must race to

the best gift they possibly can.

They must beware, however, as the path to this magical shop is a perilous one,

and they will need to overcome many terrible obstacles before they reach

final destination.

So as the tiny jester lifts his mighty horn...

It was time for this week's princely contentors to begin the race to the gift

shop of Dad.

And I would do anything for love, but I

won't do that.

No, I won't do that.

And some days don't come easy.

And some days they don't come hard.

Some days they don't come at all. And these are the days that never end.

And some nights you're breathing fire.

And some nights you're coughing ice.

Some nights you're like nothing out there for a thing. It all ends again.

I know you can save me. No one else can save me.

As long as the planets are turning, as long as the stars are burning, as long

as your dreams are coming true, you better believe it, that I will do

for love when I walk to land.

First to reach the gift shop is Prince Jordan, whose reward is to take the best

prezzy on offer this week.

One by one, our noble princes carefully pick the gift they think will most

impress Dad.

Until the last prince of all, Prince Ben, arrives to discover his fate will

to deliver to Dad a calendar full of naked man -sluts.

Oh, Ben, you daft apeth.

Anyhoo, with the race for the prize now over, each prince waits in nervelly

trepidation to meet for the very first time.

The most powerful man in the kingdom.

Dad, Dickie Plum.

It's all about first impressions, because I think first impressions are

important.

First in line is Prince Jordan, who chose a DVD of Dad Dickie's favourite

Scarface.

It's a bit violent, but never mind.

Next is Prince Luke, who has a bottle of Dad's favourite smelly stuff.

That's nice.

Is that what you usually get for a bloke, is it, aftershave?

So what's my daughter you want to take out?

Oh, get her.

Next is Prince Jordan II, who has a bottle of Dad's favourite tipple.

Oh, could have given it a wipe.

Prince Jamie, meanwhile, has chosen a book on Coronation Street ledge, Ken

Barlow. I like Coronation Street.

I'm not sure he's my cup of tea.

To be honest, I'm not sure you're my cup of tea.

I'm not sure your daughter's my cup of tea.

That's handy.

Oh, Jamie, what did you say that for?

Dad Dickie loves the GGs, so Prince Navid has brought him a tiny horse.

Next up, Prince Charlie plumped for a lock of bad boy Liam Gallagher's hair.

Bit weird.

I like Liam Gallagher.

Not sure I want his hair though.

Not sure I want your hair.

Rugged Prince Martin has Dad's favourite dish.

A hearty steak and kidney pie.

Mmm, yum yum.

Those who are last to pick from the dad gift shop must pay the price.

This time, it is poor Prince Ben who must deliver the worst welcome gift

imaginable. What's that?

It's a calendar.

What sort of calendar?

It's got bear men in it.

What, do you think that's what I want, is it?

You ought to sort yourself out, darling.

Oh, a bit awkward.

Dad carefully examines each princely package.

Whoever's first impression impresses him the least will be banished immediately.

Pretty good, to be honest.

First guy to go in the first week.

Isn't the best.

When I was talking to him, he started getting lippy.

I don't do lippy. I don't think he liked the way I spoke about his daughter, to

his face.

I ain't having a little Toby like that going out with my daughter.

You're having a laugh.

Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut, but he was a bit arrogant, so I thought

I'd knock him down a peg or two.

Prince Jamie, his journey was over before it had even begun.

But fear not, ladies, for his chance will come again next week.

But for our seven surviving princes, their quest for love has only just

Have you ever worn women's underwear?

Welcome back to My Little Princess.

Seven princes now remain.

Only one will win a date with Dad's daughter.

The losers, however, will get a chance to come back next week and try their

with another dad.

Hoping to be this week's chosen one is the prince who won the race to the gift

shop of Dad.

With his great courage and dashing good looks, he is the complete princely

package. Well.

Almost. I'm sexy and I know it.

I know not being very intelligent as well.

In terms of being on the computer's wires and not very clever and all that

stuff, reading books and things like that.

I met a girl really intelligent. I suppose that would help me a bit because

would make me more intelligent. She'd teach me a few things.

Prince Jordan, the unwise may lack the brains, but for Dad Dickie, it was what

was in his or any other prince's heart that mattered most of all.

With my dad, I never know what's going to happen.

I mean, one time he didn't give the guy a chance to say hello and he sat him

down with a pencil and a piece of paper with questions on.

She never used to like bringing blokes home because I would terrorise them.

But, um...

I'm going to, aren't I? I'm a dad.

Do you know what I mean? I want to know what he wants. I know what he wants,

don't I? Do you know what I mean?

And that's probably why I don't like it.

In order to help Dad discover what our prince's true intentions were, the

of the castle, Dr. David Lewis, esteemed professor of the human mind, has

constructed the machine quite unlike anything upon this earth.

The catapult of truth.

Dad may ask his princely candidates any question he so desireth. If the prince's

answer displeases him in any way, then they shall be catapulted into the lake

losers.

In order to guarantee their answers are truthful, The wise old wizard has

attached a genuine lie detector into his devilish device.

It can detect the stress in the voice of a prince which betrays their honesty.

So verily there was no hiding from the truth as Dad's interrogation begins.

Would you try and sleep with my daughter on the first date?

No.

Not Not No

It was now clear to the princes that the wizard's marvellous machine could not

be beaten.

A fact that weighed heavily on the mind of Prince Luke.

Did you try and sleep with my daughter on the first date?

Yeah.

I was thinking about lying the whole way through.

And I thought, no, I bet not, because he's the king and he's going to behead

either way, so I thought I'd tell the truth.

I think I'd better do it right now Before I fall any deeper

Prince Luke's decision to fall on his sword of truth was noble,

but doomed.

Something the five remaining princes would do well to note.

Have you ever worn women's underwear?

No.

No. Yeah.

For like a brief moment when I got chucked into the air, I felt like I was

one with nature itself.

You raised me up so I can't stand up.

Until I slammed into the water, and then I blagged a shit myself.

Oh, Ben.

Too much information.

Like Prince Luke before him, Prince Ben's hope that a true confession might

spare him from Dazroth proved to be sadly mistaken.

With just four princes remaining, there was a feeling amongst them that honesty

might not be the best policy.

Do you watch porn on the internet every day?

No.

No No

Yes

The king asked me if I watched porn, and as if I'm going to say no to that, I

said yeah, and he just chucked me in for that.

It's the first bit of rejection I've ever had in my life, so it was a big,

surprise to be lobbed up 30 foot in the air and land on my head.

It was now a princely head -to -head between Prince Charlie and Prince Jordan

to discover who was the most virtuous prince of all.

Have you ever filmed yourself doing intimate things?

No.

No.

Have you ever tried it on with a friend's girlfriend?

No.

No.

I was... I was nervous.

I was scared. I was frightened. I was a little bit excited.

But it turned on as well. I don't know. All the mixed emotions were in there.

I was a complete wreck.

So Prince Charlie is victorious.

His reward is to walk from the catapult and into the next stage of this princely

contest. For everyone else, their fate is less certain.

Especially the two princes who were first to fly on the wizard's machine of

truth.

Right, so listen, I don't know how you feel about it, but I've got these pair

lemons, right?

Now, this one here, Luke,

he's looked me right in the eye and told me he'd try it on with you on the first

date. Yeah, maybe that's a bit much. He shouldn't have done that. But then he

didn't lie.

He couldn't lie. I've got a lie detector.

Naveed lied.

Didn't save him, did he? Yeah, but Naveed was scared of you.

He's got every right to be scared.

See, the thing is, I've got to make my mind up.

Don't Naveed, who's lying because he's scared, Or do I want Luke, who's looking

me in the eye and telling me he's going to try it on with my daughter on the

first date?

So it was time for Dad Dickie Plum to commit another prince to the moat of

rejection.

I can't believe that because I said I'd shag his daughter on the first date, I

probably would have, or tried.

You know, I'm a good believer that you should stay in that big county, but

there's times to open it and times to shut it.

And he was definitely bouncing his bow in the wrong garden.

So he had to go for a swim, if you know what I mean.

As another princely loser lay in the lake,

Even the buffest of princes was now beginning to doubt whether they had what

takes to win this contest of love.

Have you seen how good looking some of these blokes are?

There's guys that look like they've been permanently on a sunbed.

There's guys that have got six packs coming out of their ears.

And then there's me, five foot nothing.

What am I doing here? Do you know what I mean?

Honestly, by day I work in a call centre and I'm also a stripper.

I have lots of nicknames.

Buff Daddy, Buff the Stuff, Buff Man.

That came from working out a lot, because I'm quite buff.

Being a Buff Daddy was indeed an impressive virtue.

But for Dicky Daddy, it was like whatever, because he wanted someone who

always be there to protect his little princess.

Someone a bit like himself.

I was ridiculous protective.

It's like I'm 23 years old now and he still calls me to ask me where I am.

Where are you? You've been gone two days.

Yeah.

You shouldn't be gone two days, should you? Well, if I'm going out, staying

at friends' houses, I don't need to tell him everything.

You should ring your dad. But he expects it. You should ring your dad every

night. Oh, should I?

Yeah, you should, yeah. And tell him where you are.

So he knows you're safe.

That's right, isn't it? It's part of being a parent, that is.

Yeah, but I'm now an adult. I'm not a kid anymore.

You still need to tell me where you are, don't you?

Within the castle of love resides a bitter and twisted old witch.

Spurned by a lover when young, she has resolved to punish every young man who

enters the kingdom with a deadly curse.

This week, the old hag has had a particularly evil thought.

If Dad wants to know which prince will be best able to protect his darling

daughter, then let him see who is really a man...

or a mouse.

One by one, the evil witch transforms our fine and noble princes into giant,

idiot -faced mice.

Beneath their new beastly skins, they can see nothing at all.

Upon the command, they must run down a track towards one another until they

collide. Whoever shows the greatest courage by running the furthest and the

fastest will pass safely into the next round.

Whoever loses must pray that Dad has mercy on their soul.

This incredibly violent and mindless contest of courage may offend some, but

Dad Dickie Plum, it's right up his alley.

Dad likes cage fighting.

He goes to all the cage fight shows. He got me into kung fu and kickboxing.

My dad, I would never cross him if I were the guy. In fact, I wouldn't even

near the family.

He's that scary.

And so with all eyes upon them.

It was time for our first two mice men to do suicidal back.

Oh.

Oh.

It's fantastic, isn't it?

It's dangerous.

A pair of Muppets. Is that what you're... The place in which the two

men collide.

will reveal to Dad and his daughter which prince is the real man and which

prince is the big yellow -bellied mouse.

On this occasion, it is clearly the blue mouse man who is the winner of this

contest of collision.

Now the curse is lifted, it can be revealed that it is in fact brave Prince

Charlie who defeated cowardly Prince Martin.

You wouldn't have thought he would have won, would you?

Charlie's doing so good at the moment.

He looks like a little tart and all, doesn't he, compared to the other fella?

really thought Martin was going to win.

Well, you liked him, did you? Yeah, but now I'm just like, you just lost against

Charlie. The next two princes to do mousely battle were Prince Navid and,

ah, Prince Ben.

Sunshine on my shoulder.

It makes me happy.

Once again, there is no doubting the outcome.

Prince Naveed is the mighty man, which means Prince Ben is a squeaky mouse.

Naveed. I kind of expected that.

I thought Naveed was going to win. I'm surprised he never broke his bones.

Yeah,

he's quite skinny.

Looks like you got hurt, though.

Yeah, good.

I've never been hit so hard in my life. It's like getting hit by a double

-decker bus.

I gave it all, and I wanted to win, and I've achieved that.

The final mouse -off was a battle between Prince Jordan the Unwise and

Bob Daddy.

Ha, ha, ha.

That was a good one, wasn't it?

Oh, it's close.

But the all -seeing eye in the sky has decreed that the lily -livered loser of

this mousely bout is... Let's see who it is.

Oh, it's Prince Jordan the Unwise.

Ha, ha.

That's all Joe Essings lost.

Done with that.

Oh, he's quite cute.

Meaning that the victory belongs to the fearless Prince Muff Daddy.

Yes!

That princess, she's mine. She doesn't even know it yet. Because I'm buff. I'm

the stuff.

I'm not a mouse. I'm a man. Old man. The buff man. And you should remember that.

This contest of collision has offered up three spineless princely losers, which

has left Dad with a difficult decision to make of.

He must now cast two into the mote of rejection, meaning he has the power to

save just one.

But who shall it be?

Prince Martin.

So what do you think of him? Has he got a chance?

Well, he was cute until I just saw that race.

So he's more like a rat than a mouse.

And as for Ben, you wouldn't fancy Ben anyway, would you? No, he's a bit too

skinny for me.

So I think the only one left, really, is Joey Essex.

He's quite cute, though, isn't he?

I think he's better than the other two idiots.

And so it was time for Dad to choose which two princely losers to lose.

I think the princess is probably crying now. She knows that the number one is

out, so she's going to have to put up with either number two or number three.

Touch wood, anyway.

I'll come back next week, destroy all the competition, and hopefully win the

princess.

For the losers that lay in the lake, the quest to win the heart of Princess

Jamie was over.

But for the remaining four princes, it was just about to enter a new, far more

terrifying stage.

Good morning, boys.

Welcome back to My Little Princess.

Where Dad Dickies' quest to find a prince charming for his Princess Jamie

unearthed an unlikely hero.

A prince whose performances in this contest of love are as inspirational as

curious hair.

I had this look before cranking Picoza. I promise you that, honestly.

I wore the tight jeans when I was like 13.

If I met a girl and she didn't like my hair, then...

Yeah, I probably would tell her to jog on or something because I'm not going to

change the way I look to impress a girl. She don't like me.

Yeah, see you later.

The hair of Prince Charlie was indeed wondrous.

But perhaps the most wondrous thing of all in the realm of my little princess

was a curious animal known simply as the gift horse.

Good morning, boys.

This incredible talking horse has but one purpose in life.

To see if our princes really know what a woman wants.

This fiendish filly will offer each prince two possible gifts.

One is greatly desired by the princess.

The other is not.

If they choose wisely, they will get to give their gifts to the princess.

However, if they choose unwisely, they will fall from the stable into the

latrine of lament, otherwise known as the gift horse's lave.

You don't want that.

T 'was a fate all the princes were most keen to avoid in this contest of

compatibility, as the mighty stallion spoke.

Now then, boys, listen up.

You're taking the princess out for a slap -up meal, right? But what's she

having? A Whopper burger from Burger King? Or a KFC chicken bucket?

I'm going to choose the KFC chicken bucket.

I would choose the KFC bucket.

A Whopper from Burger King. I would choose the...

Whopper from Burger King.

I can tell you, the princess loves nothing more than

getting her teeth into a lovely

whopper.

There's no competition at all. A burger would always win over chicken. There's

too much bones and mess with chicken, whereas a burger's so nice, and I can't

wait to dig into one.

So, two princes leave the gift horse empty -handed.

But hope still remains with Prince Jordan the Unwise and Prince Buff Daddy,

both of whom have now won one gift.

For their princess.

Now then, listen up, boys.

You're planning to take the princess away on holiday.

So, will you be taking her surfing in Cornwall or

clubbing in the Canaries?

Clubbing in Gran Canaria?

Definitely in Cornwall.

Now then, both of you can't be right. So one of you is up for the job.

I can tell you.

The princess fancies clubbing in the canaries.

Looks like we made it.

Look how far we've come, my baby.

Clubbing in Gran Canaria would definitely win, hands down, because it's

it's hot, I love clubbing. That's one of the best things I like to do, compared

to a holiday in England when it's cold and wet and miserable. I wouldn't want

do that at all.

And so it came to pass that the most compatible prince of all was Prince Buff

Daddy.

But how many more gifts could this princely prince win for his good lady?

Just you and me, now, Buffy.

Now, then, you're cooking the princess a proper Sunday roast.

Are you going to cook her a roast chicken or a roast lamb?

A roast lamb or a roast chicken?

I'd say that's a real difficult one. I'm a terrible cook.

But I'm going to have to go with chicken.

Right, I can tell you, the princess loves nothing more than

a lovely roast lamb.

My mum doesn't make lamb at home, so when I do get it, it's a real treat. So

anyone or any partner that does buy it for me, they're definitely in my good

books.

And so Prince Buff Daddy managed to win his princess.

Two goodly gifts.

Not brilliant, but better than any of the other princely rivals.

A fact that Dad must now take into great consideration.

Right, so what do you think of him, then? Baff Daddy.

He's, uh, he's flying for a reason.

Yeah, I think he's done really good.

It wouldn't be the end of the world if you ended up going out with him, then,

no? No, not at all.

But moving on to these other two lemons, they've both fallen at the first jump.

I know, and I'm gutted. I like them both.

You know, listen, I'm not being funny. They can't get that silly little thing,

right?

How are they going to beat the bigger things?

Yeah, I suppose.

You know, so you going to help me make my mind up here, or...? I really don't

know. I don't know who you would choose, because I really like both of them.

And so, with the wise words of Princess Jamie still swirling through his brain,

it was time for Dad to choose who to lose.

As for Charlie, he's done me a favour because him getting his arse wrong means

ain't got to see that donut walking around my house with that hair sticking

everywhere.

It was very tragic getting chucked in

the water because obviously I don't look as pretty when I've got wet hair.

It was clear that Dad would do anything for his little princess.

But what of the three surviving princes?

Who would be willing to fight for the right to be this week's Prince Charming?

Would it be the immaculately bearded one, Prince Navid the Thoughtful?

I think it's my destiny this week to win the date with the princess because

everything's been going right. I've got this feeling and I'm going with it.

And I don't think anything's going to stop me this time.

Or was it to be the devilishly handsome one, Prince Jordan the Unwise?

I'm extremely competitive.

I absolutely hate losing.

I'll get angry and I'll always make an excuse for the reason why I lost.

Or maybe it was the destiny of the pocket rocket one, Prince Buff Daddy.

I think I should change Prince Navid's name to Prince Nawid, as in he's a weed.

See these guns?

They're going to take him out.

Prince Jordan, I've already ran over him in the man -a -mouse challenge.

He's going to get squashed again.

As the sun fell from the sky, it marked the beginning of the end for this

contest of dadly approval.

Right, to be fair, we put these three boys through their paces.

And, you know, they've all done all right. They've all come through.

Navid!

He sort of come through by the skin of his teeth on each one. I've got to be

fair. But he's still there.

Pretty boy, joey boy, Essex. You know, he is a pretty boy, but he's proved he

can stand up.

And you've got to be in it to win it, and he's definitely in it.

And as for the other one, the buff daddy.

I don't know whether he's thick or whether he's just, do you know what I

too, too brave.

But he definitely had a game, the man and mouse.

So, you know, I've done what I can. Now it's down to these three. You have to

fight out between them.

It was now time for the penultimate princely battle. It would be a battle of

courage, a battle of strength, a battle with enormous water hoses.

This watery duel of death has but one simple rule.

Whoever falls first will be eliminated from the competition.

The stage is set, and so with their giant hoses in hand, The princes wait

for the sound of the tiny jester's bugle.

The law of the lake states whoever falls first will be cast out forever from

this princely contest.

But who will it be?

Mighty Ho's action.

Where's he pointing it? Who are you pointing at? Get on with it, man.

Come on, on your feet. Back at it.

The mighty stance of a hosierian.

Prince Buff Daddy senses weakness and goes for the kill, aiming his deadly

aquatic shark at Prince Jordan the Unwild.

But incredibly, Prince Navid loses his footing and falls fast.

just seconds before Prince Jordan the Unwise.

Which means Prince Naveed is out, and his quest for love is now at an end.

Well, I'll put it down, maybe it wasn't meant to be, but I'm not giving up hope,

and there are many other princes out there, and I'm sure I'll find mine.

Victory, then, for Prince Buff Daddy and Prince Jordan the Unwise.

whose survival ensures their fairy tale shall continue.

That was one tough challenge, but I'm one step closer to the final and meeting

that princess.

She better be worth it.

And for Prince Jordan the Unwise, well, the joy of survival was simply

overwhelming.

I won the water hurdle and I've got this far.

All right, I can go all the way and I'm feeling really confident I can do it

all.

Just one more trial stood between our two remaining princes and a date with

Princess Jaime.

Which of them was destined to have what they desired most of all?

A happy ending.

Welcome back to My Little Princess, where our story of love is nearly at a

close.

We began with eight princes. Now just two remain.

Prince Jordan the Unwise and Prince Butthead.

They have suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous tests of love. All with

one purpose.

To impress Dad Dicky Plath.

Now just one final challenge stands between them and a date with his darling

daughter. But this time, it won't be Dad Dicky doing the picking.

It will be the princess herself.

Well, we're down to pretty boy Joey Essex and buff daddy.

They've proved to me that they're up for it.

And now it's down to my daughter to make the final decision.

Jordan is cute and good -looking, but I want to know more about his personality,

because it's not just about looks all the time, it's what's going on upstairs.

I'd like to meet a girl who hasn't slept around a lot.

A girl who's generally, who she says she is, a nice girl generally.

Buff Daddy ain't as good looking as the other guys, but he seems like he's full

of energy, he seems like a really happy person, he'd give everything.

Based on the king, I think his daughter is going to be a right handful.

He's going to keep me on my toes. Of course, that's if I'm lucky enough to

her.

Both princes will sing a song of love to Princess Jamie.

from behind the wall of her garden of love.

Unable to see her princely serenaders, she must therefore identify her prince

charming by whoever she thinks sings the sweetest. And so, with the heart of the

princess at stake, it was time for this final battle of song to begin.

I, like a sunrise, like a rainfall

down my soul.

And I wonder, I wonder why you look at me like that.

What you're thinking?

What's behind?

Don't tell me, but it builds.

Like love.

You're

the

only girl that I need.

And you're more beautiful than I have ever seen.

I'm going to take this night and make it evergreen.

The princess, having heard both princely voices, must now decide whose song

melteth her heart the most.

Good luck.

To win a date with this princess right now, that would mean the world to me, to

be honest. I think physically there's not much more I can give.

Besides crying.

I'm hoping the princess is medium height, small, brunette,

and just a generally petite, tanned sort of girl.

Oh, dear. Well, it's too late now.

Because it's time for Princess Jamie to finally choose just one prince to enter

her lady garden.

No. Good heavens.

Incredibly, she's gone for Prince Jordan the Unwise.

What in God's name possessed the princess to plump for the unique voice

prince?

I liked the sound of his voice because it was Essex, and I really liked the

Essex accent.

There was just something about the way the prince spoke them words that were

really sexy.

It feels really good to win it because of the fact that I've done so many

different challenges that are all different type of things,

done well in every single one of them. And then one at the end is, like, such a

good achievement.

I know that people might think that I've made the wrong decision, but when them

doors opened, I was really happy because he is so fit.

She's not normally my type, because I normally go for brunettes and tan, but

she's, like, blonde and not that, so we'll just see how the date goes.

It was not a great start, but sometimes the flowers of romance blossom in the

most barren land.

But what of Dad?

What did he think of Princess Jamie's decision to pick the vocally challenged

young Prince Lidbuck?

To be honest, I don't know why she picked him.

He's not exactly the karaoke king, is he?

You know, they say love is blind.

In this case, it's death.

But, you know, it's up to them, isn't it? If she wants to be with him, that's

down to her.

Well, for Prince Jordan the unwise and Princess Jamie the unsure, this was but

the beginning of their fairy tale romance.

Would they live happily ever after? Well, that's another story.

Next time on My Little Princess.

Has

My

Little Princess had a food job or a nose job?