Original subtitles

(eerie music)

(big band music)

- [Narrator] Whoa, this one's a doozy. (laughs)

♪ Listen, listen ♪

♪ Listen to the dreamy music playing ♪

God dammit! Gunked again. (sighs heavily)

These next two anglers,

were just hoping to get a few bites of their own, too.

Really, they should just stop believing tall tales

about ungodly-sized catfish.

Perhaps they just needed better bait.

Or maybe, just maybe, they were the bait.

(laughs evilly)

- [Eric] There's the birthday boy.

Old Richard Cummins.

Big five-o today.

This should be good.

- What's up there, bro?

- [Eric] How you doing, man?

- Good, man. What's shaking?

- [Eric] Good. - Oh, nice.

What's the good word?

- [Eric] Dude, I'm gonna go do some

little bit of fishing today.

- Where we going?

- [Eric] Well, heard from a guy at the bar

and, dude, heard about a little secret spot.

- (laughing) What's with the fucking camera? (laughs)

- [Eric] Hey, man. Gotta have record of this, man.

You only turned 50 once.

- Yeah, hopefully. (laughs)

- [Eric] Yeah, dude, and I need some,

a little-little evidence for your kids, man.

- Evidence of what, dude?

- [Eric] Well, dude, if they're gonna start partying,

they better learn from the GOAT.

- Kids, pay attention. This gonna be epic.

- [Eric] (laughs) Let's go!

- How about in there, slim?

- [Eric] I got a present for you. Nice.

- Hey, put your seatbelt on. Don't need anybody

dying on this trip. - [Eric] All right, man.

- (laughs) There you go.

All right.

- [Eric] Dude, wait until you see this, man.

- What'chu got?

- [Eric] (whispers) Shit.

Take a look.

- Oh, fuckin' sweet, brother! (laughs)

- [Eric] Oh, yeah.

- You'll be a hella fuckin' round,

you're talkin' about teaching them kids,

we're gonna teach 'em right.

- [Eric] Yeah! That's right, man.

All right, man, let's get outta here.

- Let's do it.

Ooh. Fired that shit up already.

- [Eric] Damn right! - (laughs) I love it!

- [Eric] Get it started right.

- Hold on.

- [Eric] Yeah!

- [Richard] A little puff-puff-give, brother!

- [Eric] There we go! There we go!

- [Richard] We got the goods, man!

- [Eric] (coughs)

That one got right to ya.

- [Richard] Oh, I right in the lung, straight in the head.

- [Eric] It's some good shit, man.

- [Richard] Getting it out like a fiddler's elbow.

- [Eric] Want another one?

- [Richard] Oh yeah. One more.

There you go, kids. That's how it's done.

- Take a lesson from your Uncle Ricky!

Dude, I'm honestly not sure where we are...

(laughing) or where the fuck we're going.

- [Eric] Keep going straight.

Just keep going straight.

(country music plays)

- [Richard] What the hell is this?

- [Eric] Dude. What the fuck is that?

- [Richard] Creepy. - [Eric] Super creepy.

Oh, shit! There it is! Damn!

- [Richard] Yes.

- [Eric] (laughing) We found it.

Nice. He says it's a little hike from here,

but he said it's worth it.

- [Richard] Cool.

- [Eric] Yep, this is the spot.

- [Richard] All right, buddy. - [Eric] Well,

this is what we were told.

Dude, I got another little surprise for you.

- Oh, other than the one you gave me in the truck already?

- [Eric] Yep.

- (laughs) Oh, shit!

Yes, sir, I will indeed.

- [Eric] Take a little.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah! - That'll knock your dick in your wash pocket.

Ah, take a swing.

- [Eric] Let me have that.

- Ah!

Whoo!

Whoa!

Let's get to it then, man. - [Eric] That's good.

All right.

- Grab your bag, dude. - [Eric] Let's go.

- I'll grab the poles.

Lead the way, my man. - [Eric] All right.

- Let's check out this bus real quick.

See if anybody's home.

Nobody home. - [Richard] Hollywood Hotel.

- [Eric] Yeah.

- [Richard] Oh. Oh, oh, oh.

- [Eric] Oh, shit. Oh, sorry about that, man.

- Hey, fellas. How you doing?

- [Eric] Oh, we're doing good. What about you?

- Fine. Brings you up this way?

- [Eric] Well, we're looking for a fishing spot

called Lucy's.

- Is that right? - [Eric] Yeah.

You know about it? (man mumbles)

Look at this fucking guy, dude.

- [Richard] My god, he's full of shit, bro.

- [Eric] Yeah, literally.

Or maybe he's outta of shit, I dunno.

Oh, did he just wipe with his hand?

- [Richard] I think so, bro, don't shake his hand, dude.

- [Eric] Oh, dude.

(Richard laughs)

- [Eric] Uh, we were told to come to the, to the bus

and then walk behind the bus.

- Looks like a bus to me. - [Eric] Yeah.

Um... Do do you know any of our directions that after this?

- Lucy?

Yeah.

Look that way.

- [Eric] Is there a trail or anything?

- Little thick,

little messy right here

about a mile, two.

And it's going to clear. You'll find a trail,

blue markings on the trees,

nice and clear for you. You'll find it.

- [Eric] Okay. All right. - [Richard] Thank you, dude.

You mind if we come through?

- [Eric] Yeah.

- [Richard] Thank you, sir. - [Eric] All right.

Have a good one.

- [Richard] Thanks for direction, my man.

- Yeah.

Right there.

- [Eric] Straight through what?

- Old boy said this was a hike, he wasn't kidding.

- [Eric] I know.

- And remind me to get a shot of that whiskey will ya,

when we get to where we're going there, buddy?

- [Eric] All right.

- Right here is a blue marker.

- [Eric] Hey! We found it.

- You taking a right?

- [Eric] Taking a right.

- Oh, man.

- [Eric] Man. This is a distance. Man, I am beat, dude.

(laughs) Yeah.

- Damn. Look how far we go.

- [Eric] Look at that. - Yeah.

There's your sign, buddy.

- [Eric] What? Five miles? Six miles we went?

- [Richard] Yeah, probably about that.

- [Eric] That wasn't that bad.

I think you're just a wuss, dude. (laughs)

- Pussy.

- [Eric] Let's see what we got down here.

- [Richard] Damn, buddy. - [Eric] It looks good.

- [Richard] Nice looking spot.

About a good place as any, huh?

- [Eric] This looks pretty good.

Huh.

All right.

All right, man. Let's get a pull off of this.

- Oh, yes, please. I'm a thirsty man.

- [Eric] There you go. - Bottom's up.

- [Eric] Happy birthday, bro.

- Thank you very much, my friend.

Here's to a good hike and hopefully a good fishing day.

- [Eric] Nice.

Gimme that.

- Ah!

Whoo!

- [Eric] Oh! Man!

That shit is terrible.

- It'll get you in the boo-boo. Whew!

We'll tuck this away for just a hot minute, man,

before we get going.

Sweet!

Oh, would you look at that one, man?

Gimme that camera you brought.

This thing.

Ugh, I gotta tell you.

Hey man, thanks for bringing me out here

for my 50th birthday.

Texas weather went to shit real quick.

Let's screw fishing, man. Let's just get fucked up.

(banging sound against tree)

(crickets chirp loudly)

- [Eric] Shit!

(footsteps getting closer)

- This fancy.

Baby.

How you doing, girl?

Get 'em tied up. (grunting)

I'll get this one.

(mumbling incoherently)

Boys are playing real good.

Real clean.

Now, I want you two to understand something.

(groans) I want you to understand

what's going to happen to you tonight.

You gonna die. Right here and now.

Yes sir. (groaning)

This place here, that's sacred ground.

This is where you going to stop breathing.

Stop talking.

This is the end of the line,

right here. Okay?

We gonna hurt ya.

Yes, indeed, we gonna hurt you bad.

But...

y'all boys get to be proud.

'Cause you going to keep me in the everlasting

good graces of Lucy.

Yes, indeed.

So get ready, boys.

You about to see the most beautiful goddamn creature

you ever gave your eyes to.

You gonna give 'em.

You gonna give 'em indeed.

(ethereal noises)

(creepy echoed whispering)

(indistinct warped whispering)

(whispering and crickets get louder)

(warbled, indistinct talking)

(speaks indistinct incantations)

(thunder)

(voices echo)

(warped evil voices)

- Why you saying you make me wait?

(warped evil voices)

(screaming)

- Get in there.

Yeah, come on, now!

(grunting) (growling)

Yeah! (growling)

- Ooh!

(laughter)

(growling)

(growling) (blood squelching)

- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Have a seat.

Alright, have a seat.

(warped voice talks indistinctly)

- I'd appreciate just one (indistinct)

I'm gonna leave you.

- [Cameraman] Take it. Get it.

- Send them off, Baby.

- [Cameraman] Go get you a snack. Go ahead.

Go and get you a snack.

(growling)

- [Cameraman] Not as much tonight?

- No.

See that? I told you (indistinct)

Until next time.

- [Cameraman] Oh.

Goddamn!

(laughs) Yeah.

(uneasy music)

(I'm Gonna Get Me A Man, That's All plays)