Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

[Crunch crunch]

Hi, Dexter.

Grr! Dee Dee, stop eating over me.

Stupid Dee Dee.

[Crunch]

Go away!

Aw, don't be so cranky.

Here. Have a cookie.

I do not want a cookie.

Aw, come on.

They're fortune cookies.

No. Suit yourself.

Mmm. They're sure tasty.

Dee Dee, do you not know there are fortunes inside those cookies?

Really?

Yes, really.

Why don't you see for yourself?

And stay out of my laboratory!

Hmm.

Ah, hey, that's not a cookie.

Hey, Dexter, I found this thing in my box of cookies.

How could it be?

The odds against a genius like myself

and a stupid person like yourself

existing in the same bloodline are astronomical.

Many a night, I lay awake pondering how,

by Einstein's ghost,

I could have been stuck

with a stupid sister like you.

[Moaning]

Are you even listening

to what I am saying?

I cannot take any more

of your stupid foolishness.

I would appreciate it

if you would kindly never speak to me again

for the remainder of time.

Stupid Dee Dee. Why can't she ever leave me alone?

Dee Dee, please stop following me.

I do not like you anymore. Go away.

I can't, Dexter. We're stuck together.

Yes. I know we are stuck together.

What do you think I have just been talking about?

No, silly. I mean we're really stuck together.

Aah!

Whee!

Come on, break!

I cannot extricate my finger.

Perhaps I deserve this punishment for being mean to you.

I am so sorry, Dee Dee.

Hey! It's a fortune.

It says, "to solve any problem, start at the source."

Bah! That's not even a real fortune.

It's actually more of an advisory statement, to be precise.

Hey! Put me down!

Hmm.

The source.

Hey!

All we have to do is go there

and get them to take it off.

Wow! I'm impressed. That's brilliant.

But how are we going to get to Chinatown?

That's easy. We'll just dig through the center of the earth

and come out the other side.

Um, Dee Dee, maybe we should look at a map, hmm?

Ok. Let's go over the directions one more time.

[Straining]

Hey! Well, no wonder.

Go away, dog. Go away.

[Yelping]

Dee Dee, why don't we take the bus?

Ah.

You're right, Dexter. This is much better.

Ah, the spirits are aware of our arrival.

They are?

There it is!

Look alive, short one.

[Karate yells]

[Karate yells]

H'Yah! Man, this stuff is great.

I'll take the whole outfit.

Okey-dokey. One ninja kit.

That will be... $100.

Awesome! Wait till the guys get a load of this, huh?

[Ahem]

Who's there? Is that you, grandfather?

Dexter: Down here.

Your voice changed.

Oh, children!

Get out!

Get out before you break something.

But we've journeyed all the way from the suburbs to--

the suburbs? Oh, you are suburbian children.

Wait right here.

[Man snickering]

You kids are going to love this.

All children love d.J. Quack-quack.

[Quack quack quack]

But--

I know. Looks pricey, but for you kids, special--$20.

But--

no? Then how about this lucky bank, then?

Listen, mister, I am not here

to purchase overpriced novelty items.

My sister and I

are stuck together

with one of your finger torture devices.

Hmm. Tight weave... High-density fibers.

Yes. That's one of ours. Best quality--number one.

How do we get it off?

What do you mean, get it off?

You two are going to be stuck together forever.

Forever?

Come on, Dexter, shake a tail feather.

No!

Shh! Noisy children.

Ok. Ok.

Thereis

but first, you kids got to do something for me.

Ooh! Like a mystical quest?

Uh, sure.

With magic and beautiful princesses...

Yes, yes, whatever you say.

Yeah!

Ok. You must complete 3 tasks.

First I want you to go to...

[No audio]

[Karate yell]

Excellent.

You have brought what I asked for.

Uh-huh. So how does the magic work?

Say what?

I must admit I am also curious

as to how these ordinary objects

form a solution for our predicament.

They don't. They are just some things

I was going to pick up after work.

You mean there's no magic?

Sorry, no, but thanks for doing my errands anyway.

Dexter, no magic.

Listen, mister, magic or no magic, we did your stupid tasks.

Now, you take this thing off right now!

Very well, then. You earned it.

It's actually very simple.

If you try to pull it apart, it holds tight,

but come together like good brother and sisters,

and you are free.

My finger!

Oh, sweet finger.

Ah, there you go, kids.

Now, are you sure I cannot interest you in d.J. Quack-quack?

Well, that's over.

Hey, it's dinnertime.

How are we going to make it home?

Hmm.

Where are those kids?

They'll be here, honey.

[Doorbell rings]

Humph! Honey, why did you order Chinese

when I had a beautiful roast in the oven?

But I didn't.

Dexter!

And where is Dee Dee?

I think she's stuck in the kung pao.

Well, I guess that would make her

anunfortunate

oh, Dexter!

Good one, son.

Dexter, want to see my new dance?

No.

It's called the fanciful unicorn.

Girl, I have seen better steps on a ladder.

Oh, yeah? Like you know any dances, Dexter.

[Music playing]

Yes. It is called the robot.

Word.

[Mixing, chopping, and pouring]

Ok. Two eggs.

One teaspoon of baking soda.

Perfect.

Let's see. Optimum mixing rate, pi to the 10th.

Ah, puree.

Hi, honey.

Ooh, what's this...

And that?

Wow, look at this thingie, at those doohickies.

What's this button do?

Ah! Help! I'm going to die! I'm being eaten alive!

What have I told you about bothering me when I'm in the kitchen?

Uh, let's see... Uh, don't?

That's right. So what do we do?

Um, leave?

Mm-hmm.

Uh, ok.

What are these things?

Out!

Hi, dad. What's wrong?

It's your mother. She's making those darn muffins.

We thought you liked mom's muffins.

Like? Like?

Kids, I love her muffins more than life itself.

Those muffins are the reason I married your mother.

Well, they're in the oven right now.

They'll be ready by dinner.

I need them now!

[Sniff sniff sniff]

Oh, I can smell them now,

rising...baking...

They're calling me. "Eat us! Eat us!"

Can't you hear their voices?

They want me to eat them!

Dad, dad, it's ok. Just calm down.

Everything's going to be all right.

You're right. I'll just sit here

waiting and waiting and waiting...

And waiting.

At last! My muffins are completed!

I'll just let them cool for a while.

Hey, mom, what is wrong with dad?

Oh, he's just having another one of his muffin fits.

Looks like this one could be serious.

Your father just needs to learn a little Patience.

Mmm. Muffins.

Now, Dee Dee, those muffins have to wait till dinner.

Dinner? Uh-oh. In all my muffin preparation, I forgot the roast.

Kids, I got to run to the store. It will just take a minute.

Oh, kids, there's something I need to warn you about.

Your father is a muffin fiend, a muffomaniac.

Why, just the aroma can make him crazy.

He'll do anything to get them.

You two need to guard the muffins from your father,

but be careful.

He's tricky.

We won't let you down, mom.

I know you won't.

I'll just leave through the back door.

[Footsteps]

[Car door opens]

[Car starts]

Don't you go near those muffins!

[Whistling]

Gee, I hope we're able to handle this kind of responsibility.

Don't worry your stupid little head.

I am sure we can handle anything dad can cook up.

But, Dexter, remember what mom said? He's a tricky one.

We will just have to keep an eye out for anything suspicious.

Woman's voice: Hi, kids. I'm back!

Thanks for watching the muffins for me.

Why are you back so soon?

Wait a minute. Where are the groceries?

Well, I thought it would be easier if we all went out to eat.

How does chubby cheese's sound?

Chubby cheese's!

Let's all run out to the car.

[Deep voice] Muffin time.

Oh, yes. Hello, little friends.

Guess what. I'm going to eat you. Yes, I am.

First I'm going to bite you.

Then I'm going to chew your delicious morsels.

I can't wait to taste

the chubby cheese pizza.

Yay. Hooray for mom.

Mom is the greatest.

She is looking a little stubbly lately, though.

And then I'll carry you in my stomach for a few days--

all right! The jig is up!

Just wait till the guys at the office see these.

No. No. That's it. You win. I'll go and be good.

Go to your room.

And stay out of the kitchen!

I can't believe I've been sent to my room,

and by my own children.

They can't do this to me. I'm their father.

I'm king of this castle. Hmm.

I'm going to go check on dad.

He may be up to something.

Father, whispering: Psst! Dexter.

Son, could you come here for a moment?

I'd like to have a word with you.

And just what do you want?

Dexter, I am your father.

That is not possible!

Oh, wait, no. You're right.

So join me.

Come to the muffin side.

Don't resist, Dexter. It is your destiny.

Never!

You will get the muffins for me.

I will get the muffins for you,

will get the muffins for you.

Yes. Yes! Yes!

Dee Dee: Dexter, no!

It's a mind trick! Snap out of it!

Huh? Where am I?

Give me those! Dad, go to your room,

and not another peep until mom gets home.

You might have won the battle, but the war's not over yet!

Those rotten kids. I can't wait

till they're all grown up and out of the house.

Then I'll be king again.

[Sobbing]

I'm so miserable.

If only there was a place a man could go...

And eat muffins for all eternity.

Huh?

Sweet dreams.

[Humming]

So beautiful.

[Chewing]

Delicious!

♪ The muffin king has finally come ♪

♪ la la la la la la

those muffins are mine.

Freeze, or you're both grounded!

Huh? Decoys?

You'll never take me alive!

Hold your position. Roger that.

Incoming! Scatter!

All mine!

No! No!

Holy Toledo!

Oh!

Hold it right there, mister.

Those muffins were made by my wife with tender loving care

especially for her family, and I demand them back...

Now!

Now, scram.

Here, kids, make sure these are kept safe till dinner.

Mother: My hero.

I saw the whole thing.

You saved my muffins.

Well, I guess I did.

Have a reward.

Oh, can I?

Mmm. Mmm-hmm. Oh, good. Mm-hmm.

Ha ha ha. Come on, kids.

You can help me bring in the groceries.

[Clicks tongue]

Here's my end of the deal.

Past the vaulted door

where impossible things may happen

that the world's never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory ♪

♪ lives the smartest boy ♪

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee

♪ blows his experiments

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom

♪ while things go boom

♪ in Dexter's lab

captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.