Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

My chair.

My chair.

My chair!

Ooh.

And nowthe puppet pals show...

Right after these commercial messages.

Stupid commercials.

I love commercials.

Hey, what's that?

What's she wearing?

[Whispering] Puppet pals jeans.

Punk.

Ha ha ha!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Hey, puppet pal clem.

Those are sure sexy jeans.

Thanks, puppet pal Mitch.

You also look hot in your jeans.

Girls: I'll say!

Man: You know it's puppet pals

because of the name on the label.

Yeah! Go, puppet pals. Go, puppet pals.

Dee Dee, what are you doing to my chair?

Your chair?

My chair.

Your chair?

My chair!

I don't see your name on it.

So?

So it doesn't belong to you.

My popcorn!

Your popcorn? I don't see your name on this piece...

Or this piece...

Or this piece...

Or any of these pieces.

[Ticking]

[Ding]

Ooh.

Dexter: Release my waffle!

I don't see your name on--

it.

It is with this hand that I begin to label my waffle.

It is with this hand that I finish labeling my waffle.

See?

Dexter, Dexter, Dexter.

Oh, hi, doggie.

Come back here.

Dexter, what are you doing?

Merely labeling my possessions.

Retxed? What are you, an idiot?

That's not your name.

It's backwards, dummy.

Now out of my way. I have more labeling to do.

Hmm.

My pickles. My mayonnaise.

Dee Dee: Hey, label boy.

Yah!

Aah!

Dee Dee?

Aah!

Don't touch any of my food, now.

Aha! She missed one.

[Slosh slosh]

Doh!

Computer, display specifications on Dee Dee's labeler.

How quaint and obsolete.

Let's modify.

Ah, yes. This should work.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

[Sizzle]

Dexter, is that you?

Ho ho ho!

Aah!

Ha ha!

Raggedy doll!

Yah ha ha ha!

[Panting]

Oh, Dee Dee. Dee Dee, where are you?

Hmm. If you are not down here,

perhaps you are upstairs in your room.

Oh, darbie.

Thank goodness you're still mine.

No!

Dexter!

Dexter!

Yah!

[Panting]

The dog!

[Barking]

Wah ha ha!

Nice try, sister. However, victory is--

oh, no! I have been labeled!

It won't come off.

[Barking]

Dexter, Dee Dee.

The Dee Dee's knocked over,

the Dexter's off the hook,

and did anyone walk the Dexter?

Who's responsible?

Um, Dee Dee is.

Ha ha ha.

No, please. It's me--Dexter,

not Dee Dee.

No!

Now stay in your room, Dee Dee.

Play with your Dexters or something.

Honey, why is the carpet all wet here?

Announcer: It's the game show

where families feud and homes are wrecked.

Welcome tosibling rivalry!

[Cheering]

Let's meet our contestants.

A daughter, a sister, and a lover of pink, say hello to Dee Dee!

[Cheering]

And our next contestant-- a thinker, a brother,

and a lad whose enormous intellect barely fits in the studio,

say hello to Dexter!

[Cheering]

Here's the host ofsibling rivalry,

Trevor twinkle!

Hey, hey, hey, everyone! Welcome tosibling rivalry,

the world's stickiest, goopiest, gooiest game show.

Let's say howdy to our contestants.

Now, Dee Dee, Dexter's your brother, right?

Yeah.

And, Dexter, Dee Dee is in fact

your sister, am I right?

Affirmative.

Gnarly!

Gnarly!

Like any brother and sister,

I'm sure there are times when you don't get along, times when you fight.

Here onsibling rivalry, you can turn those petty differences

into fabulous prizes.

Johnny, tell them what they'll be

playing for today.

Johnny: Sure thing, Trevor.

Our winner today will have a choice between a two-ton flying pink pony

complete with heart tattoo...

Ooh.

Or this fabulous xk-101 radioactive isotopically driven extendo telescope--

the same kind the astronauts use.

Wow!

Let's go over the rules of the game.

I don't need to go over the rules.

I watch this show all the time.

And I'll bet your brother watches just as much as you, right?

That's a big negatory, good buddy.

I find this show to be mentally oppressive,

emotionally depressive,

and intellectually offensive.

I'm just here for the telescope.

That, too, is also gnarly.

That, too, is also--

silence!

I have no time for this foolishness.

I am here to correctly answer

some silly game-show questions

so I can win the telescope.

Now if you will kindly proceed with the inquiry,

I can get out of here.

I do have a schedule to keep.

Isn't he cute, folks?

Aw.

You're right, Dexter. We do have a question-and-answer round,

but if you watched the show more often,

you'd know that it comes after the physical challenge round.

Let's play the game.

Aah! Aah!

[Crowd cheering]

Dee Dee, Dexter, welcome to the physical challenge arena.

Let's play our first event.

Dexter, you'll notice a basket of cream puffs next to you.

The object of this event is to--

there. I have completed your insane task.

Can we now have the questions?

Sorry, Dexter, but if you'd watched the show more often,

you'd know that you're supposed to throw cream puffs

at your opponent without touching the apple.

Now it's Dee Dee's turn.

Nice shot.

[Ding]

[Cheering]

♪ Hmm hmm

time for our next challenge.

Well, Dexter, you lost the last round,

but maybe you could still win

Baton battle!

I should warn you, Dee Dee,

I am highly skilled in many forms of self--

defense.

Gooey!

[Ding]

♪ Hmm hmm

now it's time for our last physical challenge--

the obstacle course.

Simply collect all the flags and get 10 more points.

And then the questions?

If you survive.

With my secret jet boots,

I can collect all the flags in no time.

Malfunction!

♪ Ta da

[ding]

♪ Hmm hmm

and now, Dexter...

Oh, boy!

It's time for...

Oh, boy!

The question- and-answer round.

Oh, boy!

Who has to go to the bathroom?

All: I do.

Whoever wins this round

will receive 30 points.

The category is-- oh, great--

science and technology.

Question one.

Dexter: Pardon me. I have taken the Liberty

of preparing a list of answers

to any and all questions that could conceivably be in this category.

I think you will find that they are all correct.

Every answer is right.

[Ding]

Oh, boy! I win!

Yes, but because you got all the answers...

You must be a geek!

And you know what that means!

Geek award!

I hate this show.

And since the score is tied,

it's time for our tiebreaker question.

You each write down what you think the other's going to say.

The question is, what's your favorite thing in the whole world?

Dee Dee, what's Dexter's favorite thing?

Easy. His secret laboratory.

Right.

[Ding]

Dexter, what's Dee Dee's favorite thing?

Um...uh...

[Buzzer rings]

Trevor: Time's up.

My favorite thing is my brother Dexter.

Aw.

[Crying]

Dee Dee.

Well, Dexter, since you didn't get any points

on the last question, Dee Dee wins the game!

[Cheering]

Crowd: Dee Dee! Dee Dee!

But what about--

me?

Well, Dee Dee,

since you're our winner,

which prize do you want?

Will it be the flying pony

or the scientific telescope?

I better go horse-proof the lab.

Um, I'll take the telescope.

[Cheering]

Huh?

Huh?

Oh, thank you for winning me the telescope.

I promise you can come into the lab anytime and look at it--

not touch it, of course, but--

thanks for the hug, Dexter,

but I didn't get it for you.

I got it for me.

For you? What could you possibly use it for?

Dee Dee: Hi, Dexter.

Dee Dee, cease this foolishness for the last time.

I see you.

Dexter, want to see my new dance?

No.

It's called the fanciful unicorn.

Girl, I have seen better steps on a ladder.

Oh, yeah? Like you know any dances, Dexter.

[Music playing]

Yes. It is called the robot.

Word.

[Ringing]

[Coughing]

Dee Dee. [Ruff ruff]

What is it, girl?

[Ah-choo]

[Ah-choo]

Mother, father, I have conducted

a thorough examination of your daughter,

and before a diagnosis is made,

we must first consider the symptoms.

Note the inflammation of the optic orbs,

the abnormal viscosity of mucous membranes,

the rapid depressurization of the sinus cavity.

[Ah-choo]

Apparently the dog has also been infected.

I submit to you that the cause can be

none other than the common cold. Hmm.

Announcer: First prize in the category of medical genius,

Dexter, for defeating the common cold.

♪ Isn't he brilliant?

Thank you for coming. You're very kind.

Dee Dee needs a lot of rest now.

Mom and dad: Bye, pumpkin.

Dee Dee, I have a proposition for you.

No!

If you would allow me to shrink myself down

to a microbiotic state and enter your bloodstream intravenously

so that I might track down and conquer the common cold.

No!

But why? No!

But you could be-- no!

But I would be-- no!

Stupid Dee Dee doesn't want to advance medical science.

Won't even let me conquer the common cold.

So lazy. Doesn't have to do anything.

Wait a minute. She doesn't have to do anything.

I'll do everything.

Computer, begin testing sequence for subatomic matter-reducing shrink ray.

[Trumpeting]

Excellent. Ha ha ha!

Robot, once the atomic exploration unit and I

are in subatomic status, you are to transport us into Dee Dee's bloodstream.

Do you understand?

Cookie.

Cookie, cookie, cookie.

Cookie.

Ah.

Cookie, cookie, cookie.

Cookie!

[Yelp]

Ah. Success.

Aah!

Aah!

Ooh.

Digestive system inhabited by parasitic worms?

More data is required before pursuing the cold virus.

Mm-hmm. Heartbeat normal.

Neuron configuration normal.

Brain size normal.

Oh! Dee Dee's optic receptors.

Let's have a look.

Oh, poor Dee Dee.

Ew. I can't watch.

Hmm. Interesting.

Wait a minute.

Dee Dee has been infected by a canine virus.

What luck! A completely unprecedented medical event

here for the taking.

I'll be famous for sure now.

Computer, scan the subject for the location of the virus.

Set a course immediately.

I'm taking it alive.

Well, hon, check out the light show.

I don't know, honey.

He doesn't look so good.

I'm calling the vet.

Female computer voice: Dexter, sensors indicate

a large concentration of viruses directly ahead.

Dexter: Millions of bloodthirsty viruses.

The crushing walls of a powerful sphincter.

Low supply of fuel and oxygen.

I like them odds.

Got to time it just right.

Dexter: Ha ha ha ha!

Darn big!

Ha ha ha!

Hoo hoo ha!

Uh! Uh! Mere seconds until I am smashed to bits

on the sinus wall ahead.

If only I can--

hey, nobody destroys my inventions.

Hoo hoo ha ha ha!

[Doorbell rings]

Did somebody call a veterinarian?

What now, boy genius?

What? DNA?

Yes! DNA. Of course.

The building blocks of life.

By rearranging the basic genetic information,

I can change it into any form I want.

Dexter: Victory will be mine!

Oh, my. Would you look at that?

Almost got it.

Uh-oh. Better get out quick.

Now you are mine.

Yes. Now to present my discovery to the world.

Hmm. You seem to be fine now.

Huh?

Hello there.

Wait! Stop, you fool.

Stop! My virus! My destiny!

Allow me to present my new discovery to the world--

the first case of a human virus infecting a canine friend.

[Applause]

Enter at your own peril, past the vaulted door,

where impossible things may happen

that the world's never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory

♪ lives the smartest boy

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom

♪ while things go boom

♪ in Dexter's lab

captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

captioned by the national captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org--