Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

[Evil laugh]

At last!

I have you beautiful genius scientist supermodels

as my prisoners,

leaving the invention you created to use for good and joy

to now be used by me for bad and pain.

Man: Sometimes pain's a good thing.

Supermodels: Action Hank!

Action Hank!

But I thought we left you

in the clutches of the giant squid!

Seems he got tied up at the last minute.

But I'm here to straighten you out!

[Gunfire on TV]

Villain: Get him, you fools!

Action Hank: It's not nice to point.

Hey, skinny, looks like you could use a knuckle sandwich.

[Roar]

[Dee Dee growling]

Whenever I watch action Hank,

I hanker for a hunk of action!

Get ready to wrestle!

Grr!

[Teeth chattering]

[Weakly] Grr.

[Howls]

Gee-osh, Dexter. You're so flinchy!

Afraid of getting beat up by a girl?

No!

I just don't want to get none of your cooties on me.

Yeah, whatever, flinchy.

All's I know is you need to get a little more rugged.

Dexter: Ah, phooey.

Aah!

Oh.

Hmm.

Maybe Dee Deeis

but what makes a man rugged?

Ooh, action Hank, you're so rugged!

Oh, honey, you are so rugged!

Well, I haven't had a shave all weekend.

It must be...

The beard!

At last!

An opportunity to finally test

the beard-a-tron!

[Funk music plays]

That is one rugged brother.

Shut your mouth!

I'm only talkin' 'bout Dexter.

We can dig it.

Rookie, do you copy what I copy? Over.

Uh, yeah.

That's our man. Let's get him! Over.

You sure that's him?

Now, listen up, rookie.

When you've had 47 years more experience on the force than me,

then you can tell me if that is or is not our man!

With a beard that rugged, how can there be any doubt in your mind

whether that is or is not our man?

Over. Do you copy?

Uh, yeah.

Then "Roger" me when you copy. Over.

Roger. Copy. Over.

[Siren blaring]

Action Hank, we've been combing the area for you.

We cornered a rugged band of flour smugglers

down at the waterfront, but we need your help. Over.

Well, actually, officer...

[Laughs nervously]

I realize the ruggedity of my new appendage is quite overwhelming,

but I'm afraid I'm not who you think I am.

I knew we could count on you, Hank.

Let's roll. Over.

[Siren blaring]

Ok, here's the situation, Hank.

The smugglers are in there,

and we want you to get in there and get 'em.

And don't worry, 'cause we've got vans and choppers,

2 kinds of dogs, and the s.W.A.T. Team is in position.

Why don't you sendthem

because they only have mustaches. Over.

Good luck, Hank! You're the man!

Smuggler: Here you are, monsieur fois Gras.

Second smuggler: I can assure you that it is 100% pure.

Fois Gras: Excellent. Gentlemen, we are about to make a lot of bread.

Third smuggler: I can't wait to be rolling in that dough.

Now what do I do?

What, are you kidding me?

Look at this thing!

You're all kinds of rugged.

You are the man!

Yeah.

Grr!

Grr!

Go get 'em!

[Snarling]

Huh?

Uh-oh.

Action Hank!

But I thought we left you in the clutches of the giant octopus!

Uh, ok. Snappy retort.

Um, octopus, fish, the number 8...

Action Hank: That sucker was paper!

Dexter: Action Hank!

I thought I smelled stubble and trouble,

so I decided to drop in.

Two action Hanks?

But which one's the real one?

Who cares?

Get them!

Hank, we're still out-bearded two to one!

Quick, throw me your beard.

[Groans]

Oh!

Fois Gras: Oh, you're not quite through, Hanks.

But you're both finished!

En garde!

Maybe now you will get my point!

Ah!

Aye!

Oh!

Nice moves, little Hank.

Wow, thanks! We really did it!

Well, with beards this rugged,

was there any doubt in your mind?

[Laughs nervously]

Actually, Hank, I must confess.

This is only a synthetic beard.

I'm not really rugged enough to grow my own yet.

Ah, that's all right, little Hank.

It doesn't matter if you have the beard on the outside,

as long as you got the beard on the inside.

[Laughing]

So long, little Hank.

So long, action Hank.

There you are!

We've been looking all over for you!

And Mrs. Claus has been worried sick!

[Ringing]

Huh?

Huh?

Together: I won!

No, I got here-- no, I got here--

I was here first. No, I did.

[Arguing]

[Teacher clears throat]

Mandark! Dexter!

We're sorry, Mr. Luzinski.

Very well.

Now, class. Can anyone tell me what tomorrow is?

Duh, Friday?

Our game with southside elementary?

Crush the gators!

The 50th anniversary of the splitting of the atom?

The birthday of the first electron microscope?

Annabelle's birthday.

Aw, y'all shouldn't have!

Well, I guess all those things are true,

but I just wanted to announce that tomorrow is show-and-tell day.

Ah, show-and-tell!

[Thinking] Another perfect opportunity to beat Dexter.

And by transmoglifying my lab ducky, I shall succeed at my most favorite desire.

[Laughing]

[Thinking] Ah, show-and-tell.

Another perfect opportunity to beat mandark.

And by transmoglifying my lab monkey, I shall succeed at my most favorite desire.

[Laughing]

[Both laughing]

Dexter, voice-over: Countless exposures to biatomic energy.

All testing proves negative.

No enhanced abilities.

No physical mutations.

No nothing!

It seems that you shall never become anything more than a mere monkey!

Oh, well. I guess your special trick will have to do the job.

Good night, monkey.

Narrator: But little does Dexter know

that monkey is actuallymonkey,

the superpowered chimp who protects our galaxy

from all sorts of intergalactic evil!

Mandark, voice-over: After countless exposure

to biatomic energy,

all testing proves negative.

No enhanced abilities.

No physical mutations.

No nothing!

It seems you shall never become

anything more than a mere ducky!

Oh, well. I guess your special trick will have to do the job.

[Quack]

Good night, ducky.

Narrator: But little does mandark know

that when the moonlight hits ducky,

it transforms him into quackor the fowl!

And now, back to our story.

Mandark: Oh! Ah! Ooh!

Ooh! Ah!

I have to beat Dexter, sworn enemy.

Have to destroy Dexter's lab.

Mandark: Have to destroy Dexter's lab!

[Echoing] Have to destroy Dexter's lab!

If only ducky could.

Ah, stupid Dee Dee coming into my lab,

using secret entrance behind the bookcase.

[Chattering]

[Quacking]

[Chattering]

[Quacking]

[Chattering]

[Quacking]

[Chattering]

[Quacking]

[Chattering]

[Quacking]

[Quacking]

[Chattering]

[Chattering]

[Quacking]

[Quacking]

[Chattering]

[Chattering angrily]

[Quacking ferociously]

[Chattering angrily]

[Angry chattering and quacking]

[Thuds and crashes]

Dexter: Monkey!

It's time for your big day!

[Ringing]

Well, class.

I'm glad everyone is excited about show-and-tell today.

Now, who would like to go first?

Ooh! I'm first!

No, me! No, me! I'm first!

No, I am!

Not so fast!

[Together] Ladies and gentlemen,

boys and girls,

from the dawn of man, comes--

feast your eyes on the wondrous

avis anseris!

Familia primate!

Boy: What do theydo?

[Together] Oh, yes. That's right.

Watch and be amazed at the incredible feats of agility!

Come on, come on!

This is all your fault!

No, it's not! It's your fault!

Your fault! This is your fault!

Mandark! Dexter!

I don't want to hear another word out of you two!

Got that?

Narrator: Suddenly...

I, the evil math magician,

shall capture all the children

and force them to do homework forever!

Narrator: Just then...

Major glory!

You asked for it!

Uh-uh-uh! No violence in schools.

Hmm, you're right. But there is one way to stop you.

No! Not justice fruit pies,

the delicious treat you'd have to be crazy to hate!

Ooh, I give up!

Thanks, major glory!

[Mumbling] Don't thank me, thank justice fruit pies!

What?

I said, don't th--

oh!

[Laughing]

[Chomping]

Cookies!

[Giggling]

Aah!

Ant!

Aah!

Icky, icky ants!

Computer: Dee Dee using father's golf shoes.

Dee Dee using father's golf shoes.

Say your prayers, ants!

This is madness.

Dee Dee, cease this mindless behavior.

Have you any inkling of what you are about to do?

Well, I...

Quiet! I am speaking rhetorically.

Of course you don't!

Allow me to explain the irony of the situation to you.

You are about to destroy a highly organized, hard-working society,

you sub-intellectual walking broomstick!

Ants are a marvel of insect evolution.

Ants are--

icky.

To be respected.

Icky.

Respected. Icky.

Respected.

Even though you are undeserving,

I have no choice but to further educate you

in the superior ways of the tiny titans.

I do this not for you.

I do it for the ants.

Dexter: It is here in my astounding laboratory

that you shall gain a newfound respect

for the noble denizens of the dirt,

for I, Dexter, have used my superior intellect

to assemble the world's largest,

most amazing ant farm!

I call it

antopia!

Behold the wonders of the mighty ant kingdom.

Observe how they are always on the move,

forever working, forever building, never tiring.

Ants can lift 50 times their own weight.

And if one is injured, the others instantly assist him.

[Whistle blows]

Dexter: And keep the line moving!

Show's over.

Now, do you not see how incredible they are?

[Chewing]

See? See...Food!

Hmm, very well.

You leave me no alternative.

You must learn respect

for creatures that are far superior to you.

Seafood!

We will enter the ant world

and live amongst them!

But in order to do so, we must Don

the ant pants.

Thorax!

Abdomen!

Communicators!

Activate shrink ray!

[Yelping in pain]

We made it, Dee Dee!

Now we can see firsthand the mysteries of the ants' genius.

And with these communicators,

we can understand their language.

Ant: You there!

Why aren't you working?

I'm a, well, great admirer,

educating, uh, sister, you see?

Back in line, mindless drones!

Yes, sir. Right away, Mr. Ant.

Way to go, bugster. Now we're both in trouble!

We are not, Dee Dee.

All we need to do is conform to their ways,

and I am certain they will accept us.

Psst, Dexter.

I'm outta here.

Ha ha! I got a special assignment for you!

Oh, boy.

[Panting]

[Groans]

Ouch!

The queen will see you, lazy one.

I hope Dee Dee is as miserable as I am.

Ok! A-one, a-two.

♪ If you wanna dance and have a little fun ♪

♪ stick your legs out in front ♪

♪ that's the way it's done

♪ you turn around once so we can see your back ♪

♪ and you go into the kitchen and you have a little snack ♪

Yay!

Yuk yuk yuk!

[Cheering]

Well, slave,

it appears you haven't been showing much enthusiasm

for your job.

We cannot tolerate laziness!

Perhaps you'd be a bit more motivated

when saving your life becomes your job!

[Cheers and applause]

I hereby sentence you to fight to the death!

Release big red!

[Cheering]

[Roaring]

I am a thinker, not a fighter.

Must reverse the shrink ray

and return Dee Dee and myself to normal size!

[Gasps]

[Cheering]

[Laughing nervously]

May I just say that you are a fine specimen of the genus formicidae?

Dee Dee: May I have your attention, please?

I have a special message for Mr. Big red.

[Roaring]

A-one, a-two.

♪ If you want to dance and have a little fun ♪

♪ stick your legs out in front ♪

♪ that's the way it's done ♪

♪ you turn around once so we can see your back ♪

♪ then you go into the kitchen and you have a little snack ♪

Let's get big, Dee Dee.

Gee, Dexter. You were right.

The antsare

take this! And this! And then this!

How about that one! And then this one, too!

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

enter at your own peril,

past the vaulted door

where impossible things may happen

that the world's never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory ♪

♪ lives the smartest boy ♪

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom ♪

♪ while things go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab

captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.

Public performance of captions prohibited without permission of national captioning institute