Original subtitles

All right, here we go, Daphne. Good to go.

Oh, what are you doing?

Oh, about to take Daphne for a walk.

With who?

With me.

Oh, okay. Well, you know what? Let me help you with the straps.

Oh, don't. I've got the straps. Thank you.

Oh, there's that cute little Daphne. Yeah, about to take her for a walk. Oh,

with who?

With me.

Oh.

Snaps for you. Got my own snaps.

Oh, hey, Grandpa. What you doing?

I'm about to take Daphne for a walk.

With who? Say with who one more time. Say with who. I dare any one of y 'all

say with who.

Oh, hey, those snaps are wrong.

The snaps are fine.

He's just a little sensitive.

Ain't nobody sensitive.

You know, I'm just fed up.

Y 'all don't trust me to walk down the sidewalk with my grandbaby, but you

me to fix the brakes on your car?

Come on, Daphne. You can pick up the Cheerio. Come on. You can do it.

You know she should be picking up her food by now, right?

I know all the milestones, Mommy.

I have an app that makes me feel bad about my baby every day.

But I have enough bad news for today. There's a stomach bug going around the

fuse box at daycare. Courtney's got a conference, and I just wish I had

to watch Daphne tomorrow.

Well, if you're trying to manipulate me, it's working.

You know, I could just blow off work tomorrow.

Oh, ma 'am, I forgot you were here.

Guys, it's fine, all right? I'll watch Daphne tomorrow.

Alone, with nobody.

Okay, you know, if I may defend my best friend Calvin here, you know, he did

raise two great kids.

Yeah, with my supervision.

You know, one time I went to get my hair done, Calvin ran out of diapers. He put

Malcolm in the yard naked and blasted him with the hose.

Was he clean?

Calvin, that is not the point. Was he clean?

Yes. Uh, thanks for the offer, Dad. But you have work tomorrow, too.

OK. I see what this is.

You're worried that you can't handle the fuse box without me.

Ha!

I'll be fine.

If I need someone who can't connect the printer, I'll let you know.

OK. So it's like that. Just like that, Daddy. Well, you know what?

I am going to take my granddaughter for some fresh air. Oh, really? Yeah. Now.

There you go.

Uh -oh.

Should we tell him the wheel locks on? Nah, let him go.

Welcome to the block. Welcome to the neighborhood.

Welcome to the... Uh,

Gruber? Why are you home? I thought you were going to Model UN Club.

Oh, I bounced early.

All the annoying seventh graders claim the cool countries. I got stuck with

Chad.

Chad? Northern Africa.

The national instrument is the kakake, and it's the last.

No, not the country. Chad Einbunker.

Chad's not so bad.

I love his suspenders.

Come on.

Life is too short.

Steve, I'm getting worried about Grover's high school application.

These days, it's not about being an A student with awesome extracurriculars.

Good, because he has neither of those things.

What I'm saying is what these schools are really looking for is a brand.

Can a 14 -year -old really have a brand?

The ones who get into good high schools do.

We can make fun of Chad Einbunker all we want, but he's got that podcast about

juggling.

He's Chad Juggles?

That is like the premier juggling podcast.

That kid slaps.

Say slaps one more time and we're never having sex again.

Hey, Pop.

I'm headed to the barbershop. Just making sure you don't need anything. Did

mother send you over to check on me?

She told me to tell you no.

Will you tell her Daphne and I are fine?

Check out this diaper change.

Nobody needs to check on me.

Hey, Calvin, we're going over to the parent -teacher conference. Just make

you don't need anything.

Did Tina send you, too?

No.

It's Marty.

Good morning, Julian.

Hey, where are the donuts?

Your dad always gets the donuts.

Oh, so that's what my dad does around here.

Well... This is just another thing I will effortlessly handle in my father's

absence. Hello, Postmates.

Two dozen assorted donuts, priority delivery, and done.

Why are you buying these corporate donuts when Yummy King Donuts is just a

away? Well, why didn't you tell me that before I spent $106 on two dozen donuts?

Marty, we finished up that car in Bay 3, but the lady's not happy. She wants to

talk to Mr. Butler.

Is he coming in?

Zeke, you do realize I am also Mr. Butler?

Yeah, but not really.

There it is.

A hummingbird.

Yeah,

I don't hear anything.

It's so loud.

Well, ma 'am.

I'm running diagnostics in real time, and your cabin noise is at 31 decibels,

which is quieter than a gentle rain. So you are good to go.

Where's the owner?

I am the owner.

Yeah, but the real one.

The handsome man with the donuts.

Yeah, he's not here today.

I'll come back when the owner's here. He'll know what I'm talking about. No,

no.

I will personally run all your tests to make sure you are happy.

Take your time.

Oh, and just a reminder, I am also the owner.

Grover is doing better this quarter.

Is he getting an A? No.

An A -minus? No. B -plus? Sir.

B? No.

Right, of course.

Sorry. Uh, B -minus? Steve!

Sorry, we're just a little anxious about Grover's high school application.

And you want to know what his brand is. Exactly.

Well, it ain't algebra.

Uh, but just to be sure, have you ever left a complicated equation up on the

board to see if maybe he comes in after school and solves it?

Anyway. I did want to bring up one issue.

Grover has a habit of doodling on his worksheets.

And they're interesting.

Whoa.

Is that a naked robot?

Robots don't wear clothes.

I feel like this one should.

Wow,

Calvin, out with the baby by yourself.

That's pretty bold.

I was getting a lot of props from the women at the park, too.

Hey, man, I know what you mean.

One time, this lady was so impressed that I had my daughter out by myself.

I ended up making a new daughter with her.

Uh,

Pop, what's on Daphne's face?

Oh, oh, let me get that. That's just a little ice cream.

You gave her ice cream?

No, see, she got up and walked to the freezer and got it herself.

Yes, I gave her ice cream.

Uh, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I don't think that's a good

idea. You know what, you're right. You're barely a butter knife.

Anybody want a rib? I got two left.

I got my steps in today, so, uh, yeah, I'll take one.

Don't tell your mama about this, okay?

Oh, you like the way that smells, don't you?

I'll just give you a little nibble. A little nibble. Oh, Pop, Pop, you gonna

this baby ice cream and ribs?

That's not a good idea for anybody under five or over 55.

Don't listen to your grumpy uncle.

The baby wants some baby back.

Well, I think Marty should take his baby back.

Daphne's getting kind of fussy.

Oh, she probably just needs a pop -pop. That's what she needs.

Look at her face.

Like she's thinking real hard.

Yeah, I don't think she's thinking.

You know what she's thinking about?

I can smell it.

Well, one theory, Pop, is that you fed a baby who's been eating pureed carrots,

a combination of vanilla ice cream and pork.

Don't worry. Don't worry. Pop, Pop is going to take care of this. Here we go,

baby. Oh, no, man. There's milk all over these patties.

Who packed this bag?

No, I don't like your tone.

Damn, that robot is thick.

Yeah.

I mean, it's okay. I mean, it's just a little sketch.

I know.

I just wish we could search his room and see if there are more of these.

Well, why can't you?

Have you ever read Dr. Milton Shadlow?

You know, he stresses the importance of allowing a child a private sanctuary to

foster independence.

Ha!

Independence?

He's lucky he's got a door. Hell, in my family, you didn't get a door until you

were 19.

Well, Dr.

Shadlow says... Cool Dr. Shadlow, okay?

We're going up there.

Calvin, I really wish you hadn't put the baby in my sink. I wash people's heads

in there.

Please. I've seen you clean work boots in here.

Well, the good news is we got the diapers.

Bad news is she won't be able to wear them until she's 80.

Adult diapers?

That's all they had, and I had to fight an old lady for those.

Really? Yeah, she squared up. I was like, what's up, Ruth? What's up? What

you want to do?

This, this is why you do not give a kid a door.

There are like ten cereal bowls, but only one spoon.

Uh, Dave, you're going to want to take a look at this.

Oh, my God. What is that?

It's a Baby Ruth bar.

But it looks like he's licked off all the chocolate. It's just exposed nougat.

You know what? I'm out of here.

Well, hold on. Hold on.

What? This.

Oh. It's more drawing.

Wow. Is that a fish eating human sushi?

What's going on on the pigeon's head?

It's got cornrows.

I don't like that one.

Am I crazy, or are these kind of good?

Good? I mean, they might be fantastic.

I mean, the details, while unnerving, are really skillful.

You know, this is like that freaky nerdy crap that Marty used to love.

You know, he used to make me drive him down to Little Tokyo and pay $40 for a

damn comic book.

Oh, my God. Have we found Grover's brand?

I mean... I think we have.

Well,

I've run every test I can run. I've driven the car around the block. It's

But you still hear humming.

I can't fix a problem that doesn't exist.

Oh, you have a problem.

But the problem isn't the car.

It's you.

What you talking about, Julie?

See, if you took your nose out of your laptop just long enough and looked

around, you would have seen Emmy here before.

She comes here a couple times a month, always with some crazy little problem,

and your dad helps her.

Okay, are you saying my dad hears the humming? There is no humming. It's like

talking to a brick wall.

I'm sorry, are you helping me?

The lady is lonely.

And your dad just makes her feel special.

It's like the great Dr.

Milton Chaslow says.

You're hearing what the lady is saying, but you're not listening to her.

Wow. That was really insightful, Julian.

Where'd you learn all this stuff?

Well, none of you damn people pay me no attention around here.

I told y 'all I'm getting my master's in psychology.

Y 'all some narcissists, man.

Scissors. Powder.

Cornbread.

Blow dryer.

Tape. I need tape.

We're all out.

What? Oh, damn.

She's making that thanking face again.

See?

Peel that masking tape off that signed picture of Cisco. Do it now.

Where's my tape?

So, you know, your mom and I had our parent -teacher conference today, and

Davis told us something very interesting.

Oh, am I getting an A? No.

A minus?

No. B plus? No. B? In what world?

However, she showed us your doodles.

She did?

Mm -hmm. Yes, and they are very imaginative.

Oh, um, thanks.

Yeah, you know, I really responded to the one that takes place in some sort of

hellscape where the android demon creature are prodding the muscular rhino

women.

Uh, where did you see that one?

It was in your sketchbook.

You went in my room?

I thought that was my sanctuary.

Boy.

You're lucky you even have a door.

Why were you keeping this a secret?

What do you think? You make a big deal about everything I do.

This is something I enjoy.

For me.

What's next? Are you going to turn it into my brand?

What even is that? Get out of here. I don't even know what a brand is.

I smell a scholarship.

So he's up there on the roof.

Screaming and carrying on.

And I'm out there with his dinner saying...

Norman Fitzgibbons, if you don't come down right now, I give up.

And if I know cats, Norman did not come down.

You do know cats.

He's a real dickens.

Now, Maurice Fitzgibbons, no relation.

He is a real dandy.

Now,

how'd you get the pants on him?

It is not easy.

But it's so worth it.

I think the humming is gone.

You fixed it!

I do what I can, Emmy.

So, now, do you take Maurice to a cat clothing store?

I'll tell you a secret, Marty. Oh, tell me.

Those pants, they're dog pants.

Here you go, Pop.

Why did you bring those oats?

You don't want to hang on to them?

They don't expire.

You know what else doesn't expire?

My ability to raise your rent.

We were having so much fun, and you went and made it serious.

Somebody owes me an apology.

Actually, I do.

I never realized how hard customer service is.

Emmy came in today.

Oh, okay.

What was it this time? A whistling sound?

Did her steering wheel not turn left enough?

No, it was a hum.

And I fixed it by listening to stories about the Fitzgibbonses.

Now you get what I do. See, that's how you earn customer loyalty.

I get it now.

Yeah, I'm glad you do. And listen, you didn't hear this from me, but Maurice

wears dog pants.

What are these?

These are... Malcolm's got a

problem.

No, listen.

Malcolm, I'm your mother. You can tell me anything.

You got a leaky faucet? No faucet is fine. Get off me.

Fine, nothing's wrong with me. You know what? Raise my rent. I don't care. I'm

done.

Pop fed Daphne ice cream, ran out of diapers, and threw her in the barbershop

sink.

What?

Ice cream, Dad?

Well, in my defense.

You never said, don't feed her ice cream.

All the world is out of defense.

Oh, my God, don't move. Look at Daphne.

What's she doing?

She's feeding herself.

Well, how'd she learn this?

Oh, I taught her.

The trick is, you've got to give her food she really enjoys, like ribs.

Like ribs or actual ribs?

Oh.

Uh -oh.

She got that thinking face again.

All yours.

Bob Bob out.