Original subtitles

Once upon a time, you used to be able to see the sink.

Yeah, you could see it again if you'd wash the dishes.

Excuse me.

But for the past two weeks, I have been busy making dresses for your charity

fashion show.

I just wanted to raise the money for the Big Brothers. It was your idea to dress

up the sisters.

Oh, that reminds me. Oh, Ray, have you seen that copy that I wrote for the M

Yeah, I think I saw it on the coffee table under a stack of mail, right

pile of coats and a chair.

Oh.

Well, you're going to have to come with me or draw me a map.

Stay close to me.

You know, you guys really need to start cleaning up around here, because if I

trip over something, I'm suing somebody.

Don't look at me. Shoot, I have no time.

I work. I heard that, too.

You don't have a job to marry. I was referring to the don't look at me part.

Knock, knock. I'm in.

Check it out. My parents are giving me the end of the year jammy jam.

Another garage party at your grandma's? Okay.

You didn't have a problem when you were eating Grandma's chicken.

Uh -huh, eating and running all three of y 'all.

This year, the jam is at Club Infinity.

What? Club Infinity? Oh, you know what this means.

Time to shop.

Hey, you want to help us pick out our new dresses?

You know, I would, but dang, I got the English patient on pause at the crib.

I was in tears.

Come on, Lisa. We're going to be late for rehearsal.

Yeah, I'm coming. I'm coming.

You

know

who's going to clean all this up, don't you?

Uh -huh.

The new housekeeper.

Everybody see how different we have come to be.

Even though I'm glad to be with you, I thought I'd feel a thrill for me like

got to do what's right for you.

Thank you very much, Mrs. Fuller. Your housekeeping credentials are very

impressive. Goodbye now.

Scratch her off the list.

Ray, that woman has references from the mayor.

So I don't know him.

Come on, Ray. Now, we have interviewed 14 housekeepers, and you have found

something wrong with every one of them.

Well, I'm particular about letting strangers into my home.

I'm still not used to you being here.

Oh, you know what? Now, wake up.

Ray, this mess is getting out of hand.

Look, Tia's already caught some rats.

Mom, they're mice and part of my science project.

Now, the big one is Jacques.

He gets a high -fat diet. And the little thin one, his name is Gus. He's on a

low -cal diet.

I think the one on Jenny Craig is dead.

Gus is just resting.

Tamara, you're not a child anymore. Make it easy on yourself.

If you want something, just ask.

Okay, can I have 200 bucks to buy a new outfit for Jordan's party?

No. See how easy that was?

Oh, but Dad!

Tamara, money does not grow on trees.

Yeah, if it did, I'd be outside raking.

Ray, now we gotta decide on one of these housekeepers.

Tell me, now is this about a stranger in the house, or are you just too cheap to

pay somebody $10 an hour?

No need to beg.

I'll take the job.

Oh, child, please.

The only thing you know how to clean is your plate.

Uh, Lisa's right, Tamara.

We need someone who's serious.

Wait a minute. You just told me I wasn't a child anymore, right?

Well, let me prove it. Let me show you how responsible I can be.

Sorry, honey, but it's out of the question.

Dad, you won't have to worry about a stranger in the house.

You're hired.

Oh, thank you.

You can always interview 14 more people.

Yeah, hi.

Remember, you're our employee, and we're going to treat you like one. That's

right. Our relationship has to be strictly professional.

Are we talking vacation time, six days, and 401K?

No, we're talking Lysol, Ajax, and 409 Spray.

Tamara, stop vacuuming. When you cleaned my room, you left the mouse cage door

open, and Gus got out. You didn't hoover him up, did you? Uh, your mouse isn't

in here.

Gus is... from a controlled environment.

He's never eaten anything that didn't come from an eyedropper.

Well, if he wants to eat, he better learn to hunt and kill because I sucked

that eyedropper a long time ago.

Well, aren't you going to get the door?

I'm not the maid.

You're the reason employees climb up the water tower.

It's Homeslice. What are you doing here?

Nice to see you, Grandpa.

Oh, my God.

It's nice to see you, too. You know I can't get enough of my two favorite

granddaughters. Oh, a long time no see, Homeslice.

Um,

did Dad know you're here?

Would I be this far in the house if he knew I was here?

Uh -oh.

Don't worry, honey. He'll be tickled pink to see me. I'm just like a father

him.

and I'm out of checks.

Why do you assume I want something? Because I know you, and because there's

buggy parked out in my driveway.

That is not a buggy. That's my newest business venture. It's Campbell Camelot

Carriages.

Look, I figured if they had carriage rides in New York, Chicago, and New

Orleans, why not in Detroit?

You want to pull people around a motor city by horse? Why not? People in

like romance.

Well, most people.

And I have everything I need to start my business, except for a horse.

Of course, of course.

Don't tell me you want me to give you the money to buy the horse.

Son, I'm insulted that you think I'd come here just to get money from you.

I need a place to keep the horse, too.

When I volunteered to help you with this charity fashion show, I didn't

volunteer to be your personal flunky.

Ray, you're not my flunky.

You're more like my roadie.

I hope this one isn't going up here, too, because my arms are getting numb.

This one? Oh, no. This one I made for Halle Berry.

Halle Berry is your client?

No, but if she ever calls, I got a dress for her.

If she ever calls, I got a man for her.

Hey, Bob.

Can you hook me up with my...

Tamara, you've been our housekeeper for two days. The laundry still isn't done,

the dishes are piled in the sink, and I can write my name in the dust on the

coffee table.

Oh, well, can you hook me up with an advance?

An advance?

Yeah. Jordan's party is tonight, and I need to pick up my new dress.

Oh, well, that's too bad. No work, no pay.

What kind of job is that?

Tamara, we agreed this would be a professional arrangement.

Now, as your employer, I'm telling you.

You can't leave the office until your work is done.

Okay, well, in that case, I quit.

I'm not your employee anymore, Dad.

I'm your daughter, so I can go to the party.

Well, in that case, I'm your father, and you're grounded.

And you may not go to the party until your chores are done.

What?

Dad, you can't do that.

Jordan's big night.

I've got to be there.

You also have to learn responsibility.

But I'll never finish in time.

Well, Tamara, honey, I'm sorry now, but I have to side with your father on this

one.

Well, you have ruined my life.

I hope you're happy.

I'm happy. You happy, Lisa? Never been happy. Okay.

And Jordan said that the DJ is going to be the bomb.

be the jam of the year. Yeah, and if I wasn't going, you'd be the best dressed

girl there.

Girl, quit playing.

You know I look good.

Now, are you sure I shouldn't wear my new shoes? Girl, I told you those are

dancing shoes. By the end of the night, you'll be begging for corn pads.

This is the type of party where you're gonna get your groove on all night long.

Tell her, Tamara.

Did you mention how wrong it was of your parents to make you finish your chores?

Yeah, Tamir, don't give up. I mean, you still can finish in time to come with

us.

It's a guy! Got a jet!

Oh, purse, purse, purse, purse, purse. Oh, oh, here you go. Thank you.

Oh, go ahead.

Hey, good -looking.

See, you look awesome.

Thank you.

Baby, you look tight.

Tamir, you look like this guy Fred at work.

Does Fred ignore you like this?

Okay, Tia, can you do me a favor?

Tell Jordan I tried, but there is no way I can make it.

Sorry, Tamara.

Jordan's gonna be heartbroken. Well, if you see Cassie Perkins trying to unbreak

his heart, tell her I got a house full of poisonous cleansers and I know how to

use them.

Got it.

Night, Tamara. Oh, and keep a lookout for Gus, okay?

You missed a spot.

you better get out of here before I change your cologne.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't the king and queen on their way to the ball.

Don't worry about us peasants.

I'm glad to see you in a better mood, honey.

See you, punk, and we'll be back around midnight.

Have fun.

I'll just be here cleaning out the ashes.

The only thing I'm missing is my fairy godmother.

What's the matter?

Grandpa, you scared me.

Is your daddy still here?

No. Good. I need you to help me hide something.

I bet your dad won't even notice my horse in that big old garage.

Well, he may get a little suspicious when he sees the washing machine is full

hay.

You know, we could probably keep old Major right here, but we'd never be able

find him again.

No, now you see why I'll never be able to go to Jordan's party.

Tamara Campbell, I am ashamed of you.

How many times have I told you, where there's a will, there's a way?

grandpa there's no scam we buckle down and get to work we can have this place

cleaned up in no time no no seriously what's your angle

the angle is i'll take the kitchen and you take the living room you've gone

soft grandpa

And Lisa's studio is spotless.

You know, if I had less hair, I could be the black Mr. Clean.

Well, to me, you're Mr.

Wonderful. Oh, thank you so much, Grandpa, for helping me.

That's what grandfathers are for.

Now you get out of here and get to partying.

What? Wait.

It's too late to go to the mall, and I don't have anything to wear.

That's where you're wrong. Just close your eyes.

All right.

the dress from Lisa's studio?

So? She won't be home till midnight.

Be back by then and she'll never know. Now get to getting. But it's already 11

'clock and I'll barely have time for one dance.

Honey, when you're in your sweetheart's arms, one dance can last a lifetime.

Oh.

Sounds like you've used that line before, Grandpa.

How do you think I got your grandma?

tortilla shoes.

Hey, just hide in the shadows and keep your feet moving as fast as you can.

Yeah,

just hide in the shadows and keep your feet moving as fast as you can.

Story of my life.

Oh, you're doing a science project too?

No.

Stephen,

stop moving your lips and stop moving your hips.

Having a good time?

All right, that's good.

Later.

Jordan, just the man I was looking for. What's up, Cassie? You promised me a

dance, remember?

I got a special delivery for you.

Hey, Jordan.

Tamara, you made it.

Well, I couldn't miss your big night.

You look amazing.

Why don't us two old horses mosey down the road a piece?

Oh, I love this song.

Then may I have this dance?

Oh, Tamara, wait.

You know, now that you're finally here, I don't want to share you with anybody.

my circles complete it means so much to me to be able

I have to go. I'll explain later, okay?

But we only danced once.

Jordan, in your arms?

One dance can last a lifetime.

Sounds kind of old school, but I can work with it.