Original subtitles

Mira, cut it out.

Gosh, acting like a baby.

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I don't want to go and you can't make me.

Look, Tamera, why don't you just get it over with? I'm sure it won't be that

painful.

Tamera! Oh, please, dear, please.

Please don't tell my dad where I'm hiding. If you keep your yap shut, he'll

never find me in a million years.

Where is she? Under the bed?

You got it.

Tamara Ann Campbell, get out of the car.

Come on, let go of that seatbelt, missy.

Honey,

I'm only doing this for your own good. You're going to thank me someday.

How about I thank you now and we call it a D -A -Y?

Is that Coolio on the corner?

Where?

Psych!

Somebody come!

Give it a rest, Tamara.

We're just going to hear a little classical music.

We'll see you next time.

Gosh, Mom, I sure do admire you. You have made such an incredible success of

your once shabby life.

Looking for one.

What do you know, quitting time.

Oh, you're back from the concert already.

Next time, hide behind the washing machine. That's where I'll go.

Actually, Lisa, the concert was kind of okay.

Did you hear that, Lisa?

My little girl thought the concert was kind of okay.

I'm walking on air.

Yeah, well, stay up there. I'll just mop this floor.

Mock me if you like, my fine friend.

But my child and I have bonded, and this is the beginning of a meaningful new

relationship. Right, Tamara?

I guess.

I love you so much.

I can't breathe.

Oh, sorry.

It's just that I've waited so long for you to start sharing my interest that...

Well, hey, want to go to another concert sometime?

Maybe an art gallery.

Oh, you're good.

How much?

For the basket, $20.

Oh, it's for a good cause. I'm raising money for the church winter pageant.

You must make a nice chunk of change peddling pastries at these

prices. Oh, yes, but I've always enjoyed baking.

Isn't it lucky that people are willing to pay me for something I'm good at?

Oh, yeah. Well, I wish somebody would pay me for something I'm good at.

Because I'd have no problem peddling the door to door.

Hey, maybe I should try it.

Oh, go for it, dear. The Lord helps those who help themselves.

I will help myself.

I'll start with these cookies.

That's right. One adult and one student ticket for the Chagall exhibit.

Yes, I'm sure my daughter will love it. Yeah, thank you. And have a nice day

-ga.

A little art museum humor. I thought you would appreciate... Hello?

Why do you want to sell your dresses on the street?

I mean, I'm sure you... Whoa.

I understood you with your mouth full.

It's official. We've been living together too long.

Well, what do you think?

I'll put on my most fashionable fashion by Lisa, give me some business cards,

and hand them out.

my feet again and i will not have to ask you for another penny good for you lisa

so just give me that 20 you owe me we call it even wait a minute i don't owe

you 20 oh what's that

We're checking our pulse. Yeah, Bill says your pulse is your body's natural

beat. Bill, of course. What else? A boy.

Dad, Bill is not a boy.

He's a teacher.

A teacher, and you call your teacher Bill?

Uh, Bill.

I once had a dog called Bill.

There's no story. I just want you to know.

I can't believe Bill's going to be our music substitute teacher for two whole

months.

He's your music teacher and he thinks banging cans is music?

Well, it's certainly not Mozart.

Well, Bill says there's more to music than Mozart.

Yeah, Bill says you can find music anywhere at all.

Obviously, Bill hasn't heard Ray singing in the shower.

Good news. I want to go get cleaned up because you and your dad are going to a

museum.

Uh, maybe some other time, okay, Dad? I mean, we're all hanging out with Bill

this afternoon.

Kind of like a field trip.

Really? Where are you going?

into the wind.

This Bill character sounds nutty than a fruitcake.

Oh, Dad, I don't expect you to understand.

I mean, Bill is really cool, and you're... you're really all an L7.

What?

Square. Right.

Out of touch, out of date, out of chips.

Oh, could you pick some up at the market?

I don't mind you being an L7. It's just that all grown...

Can't be like Bill.

Mom, Bill's an amazing teacher. He really knows how to talk to kids. He is

absolutely the most interesting man I have ever known. He is so cool. I'd have

to agree. He's awesome.

He's all that.

Bill.

I'll have your dress ready by Monday, and you take it from me. When your

gets a load of you in spandex, it'll be like he's...

Excuse me, miss.

Yes?

My wife's birthday's coming up, and she would look great in outfit like that.

Mind if I take a close look? Oh, go right ahead.

It comes in maxi, mini, midi, and oh, my God, is that legal?

It's funny to me about the mini.

Oh, well, you look a little bit long.

L7? When does my daughter come off calling me L7?

I believe that incident occurred six days ago, Mr. Campbell.

It's the seventh day. For God's sakes, give it a rest.

Ah, you're right, Roger.

But it's not fair.

Bill is hip and cool and happening. He knows how to communicate with teenagers.

Whenever I talk, they act like they don't even hear me.

You know what I mean, Roger?

Hey, 3T's going on tour.

Focus.

Just have faith, Mr. Campbell.

In your case, there's nowhere to go but up.

Okay, cool school is now in session.

Try this and say it like you mean it.

Yo, that noise is all that.

But me and the guys got it jacked.

Good looking out.

We outie.

What the heck did I just say?

The music's good, but I gotta go. Take care.

Wouldn't it be better just to say that?

You want to be cool or you?

And while we're on this subject, the way you dress is whack.

Thank you, Roger.

Hello, whack ain't good.

Now, why don't we try rolling up a pant leg or something?

Hey, watch the crease.

And here, try this baseball cap.

And these.

Toe up.

Well, let's run with it.

Dad,

you been working in the yard?

Yo, uh, I'm the crew, and we toe up.

Huh?

Dad, you feeling okay?

How about that noise?

should stay out of the sun for a while.

Yeah, Ray.

Get some rest.

That went surprisingly well.

That is one sad brother.

Who are you telling?

Ray, guess what? Oh, never mind. You're too slow. I'll just tell you. I saw six

dresses on the street.

Then the strangest thing happened. I was in the shoe store trying on a size

four. Boy, that is strange. Don't you wear a size eight?

Shut up.

Anyway, I noticed that... cookie lady janice and her friends you know outside

the window so you know when i waved to them they gave me the coldest shoulder

froze me right down to my toes in fact they still like tooth sickles listen you

think i could ever be a happening today kind of guy oh are

you serious yes i am i mean i know i'm not with it one of those

cool cats who's out there on the groove tip

Ray, could you get to the point?

The point is, just when Tamara started to share my interests, along comes this

Bill guy and steals her away from me.

I mean, how could she make a hero out of somebody she hardly knows?

Well, children pick their heroes for lots of reasons. We can guide them, try

help them, but we can't make up their mind for them.

You better back down.

The louder you yell, the less they hear you.

You've been into fortune cookies again, haven't you?

That noise?

Look, I mean, Tina's trying to do her homework.

We're both doing our homework.

We're listening to Intent to Kill.

Yeah, Ray, our assignment was to write a paper reacting to the music.

Let me guess. Bill.

Angry streets are filled with anger. I raise my fist.

I want to scream.

Yes, I'm mad, mad, mad.

Mad, mad, mad.

Keep going. There's about 60 of them.

I think I get the point.

Daddy!

I can't believe this idiot that calls himself a teacher.

Exposing you to ugly music that makes you feel ugly things.

Bill said you wouldn't understand.

Oh, he did, did he? Well, let me tell you something iffy about this Bill of

yours. He's nothing but a big, fat phony. And as a matter of fact, wait a

minute. I can use two of these. Tamara, I forbid you from ever liking him again.

So stop it this instant.

Oh, Tamara, the two -finger wag.

He means business.

My mom put up a bill for a whole hour.

Well, I guess that's why headphones were invented.

Ugh, parents.

Hey, you guys here?

There's a heck of a hoopty -doop going on at the principal's office.

Somebody's trying to get that teacher Bill fired.

Bill? What? Well, we're not going to let that happen. What kind of narrow

-minded troublemaker would do this to us?

Come on, guys.

Hi,

kid. What are you doing here?

to ask you the same question, Dad.

I hope you're only here because I'm failing chemistry.

You're failing chemistry?

Don't change the subject.

Ray, were you trying to get Bill fired?

Fired? No, no, no. All I did was lodge a complaint with the principal. But I

believe I'm justified under the circumstances.

Can we please see you in our office?

Girls, I'm a concerned parent who cares deeply about the quality of your

education. And that embarrasses you?

Duh!

Come on, Tamara.

We gotta get to class.

Right behind you.

Dad, I don't get it.

I finally found a teacher who inspires me.

Well, you shouldn't be inspired by that phony.

If you want to learn more about real music, come to me. That's what you were

starting to do before he came along.

Oh, my gosh.

You're jealous, aren't you?

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

You know what, Dad?

Up till today, whenever I felt this bad, you were the only person I could turn

to.

Well, who do I turn to now?

Tamara.

I've never been so insulted in my life.

Boy, you go out looking like that, what do you expect?

Ray, would you put down that salt and listen?

Ray,

I was passing by the Dainty Doherty T -Shirt, and I noticed that cookie lady

Janice and her friends, so I went on in to find out why they've been snubbing

me. Yeah?

You know all that peddling I've been doing in the street?

Guess what they thought I was peddling?

It was a showdown in T -Town.

Oh, wait, I do not understand.

There I was, I was doing something completely innocent, and she went and

it into something ugly.

I hear you, homie.

Uh, something a little left over from cool school.

Oh, wait, please don't go gang -sawing me, please.

Just tell me, what's on your mind?

Well, I went down to the high school today to talk to Bill, and, well, the

busted me.

You know.

Just a week ago, Tamara and I were closer than ever, and now she won't even

speak to me.

What are you doing?

I'm trying really hard not to say, I told you so.

Okay, okay.

I was just trying to do the right thing, and, you know. She actually accused me

of being jealous of that fool teacher.

Jealous? Well, that's silly. You might be a little frustrated, but you got good

reason.

I certainly do.

Yeah, you love her, so it's only natural you want her to share your interests.

But she doesn't seem to give a duck butt about your music, your art.

And I bet that hurts your feelings.

It sure does.

Well, how do you think she feels?

Hmm? Did you even take the time to try and listen to her music before you

it off? Or even meet Bill before you tried to get him fired?

Why did I say you could talk?

Now, Ray, you keep putting down these things she loves, pretty soon she'll be

gone there won't be nothing left but a shoebox full of pictures.

Tamara, what are you doing?

Homework.

Oh, and don't worry, it's math, and I'm not enjoying it. You know, you'd really

love the teacher, too. He's boring.

Tamara, I thought about what you said, and, well, I think you're wrong.

I wasn't jealous of Bill.

I just saw you drifting away from me, and I got scared.

I overreacted.

So why don't I call the principal tomorrow, and I drop my complaint

Bill?

Okay, okay, so I haven't been behaving very well.

So I want to show you someone who may help you understand me.

Dad. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I've outgrown that stupid sock

puppet. No, no, I'm not talking about Mr. Wooley.

I'm talking about him.

Oh, my gosh, Dad.

Is that you?

What was the occasion? Halloween?

High school.

Pretty groovy, huh?

Between the hair and the platform shoes, I was close to nine feet tall.

Don't ever make fun of my clothes again.

Why are you showing me this?

Well, these are all the pictures I have of me and my father when I was a

teenager.

But Grandpa's not in any of these pictures.

Right. By the time I was your age, he was pretty much out of my life.

He hated my music. He didn't like my friends.

He wasn't the least bit interested in any of the things that were really

important to me.

Sounds familiar.

Finally, I cut him off.

I just gave up on him.

But, honey, I don't want you to give up on me.

I may not always share your likes and dislikes, but I want to prove to you

I'm very, very interested in all of them.

Really?

Really.

Tamara, I want to be in your pictures.

Ah, here.

You're not going to believe this.

I just ran into that cookie lady, Janice.

I hope you made it look like an accident.

I didn't hit her.

In fact, we each had a cup of tea at the Dinky Doyle.

She and the other church ladies felt so bad about soiling my reputation, not to

mention my blouse, that they hired me to make all the costumes for the church's

winter pageant. What?

Mom, that's great.

You're telling me it's great. You know how much fabric it's going to take to

cover that bunch of big bone women?

I've got to go to bed.

No, wait. He's not here.

He said something about proving to Tamir that he was interested in stuff she

likes. Oh, isn't that sweet?

I bet you those two are going to be closer than ever.

Raymond Earl Campbell, get out of the car!

No, no, I can't go back. I don't want to go.

You're going to love it, Ted, to kill.

Kill me!

Somebody call 911!

Raymond,

he's your music teacher and he thinks banging trash cans is music? Well, I'm

certainly... I'm sorry.

Slightly. Slightly.

Slightly. Slightly. Were you trying to get Bill fired?

No, no. I did lodge a campaign.

Campaign?

Tamara.

I don't want you to give up on me.

You know, I... If I could think of my line...