Original subtitles

Whoa, Tia. Two words.

Ugly.

And your outfit is toe up.

Cool.

See, we're going to need the worst clothes we've got. Because the annual

Roosevelt High Summer's Over School's a Coming Car Wash is a coming up.

Anyway, the best part about the car wash is you get to ask a boy you like to be

your bumper buddy.

Yeah, and if you choose right... Today's bumper buddy could be tomorrow's prom

puddin'. Um, actually, I've already got a boy in mind for the car wash.

Don't laugh, but... It's Roger.

Really?

In case you haven't noticed, Roger changed a lot over the summer.

He's actually sort of, well, cute.

Did I just say that?

Say what? Nothing.

Get this.

As my bumper buddy, I actually kind of think I might like...

Roger.

I mean, in one summer, he went from as if to all that.

Now he's really, well, cute.

Roger, don't tell my sister.

Michael, my brother.

Kind of takes your breath away, doesn't it? Now that I've had me a big macking

attack for the first time, I'm the man. Oh, yeah.

Mike, I think it's time I put the new Roger to the test.

Tia, you don't want to go out with me, do you?

As a matter of fact, I do, Roger.

Huh? You know I was talking about me, right?

I know.

Hey, um, we can go out for an early dinner Saturday.

Yeah, sure.

See you later, sweet thing.

Did she say yes?

No. To me.

I'm going out with Tia Landry Saturday night.

Roger Evans, you haven't got a date with the girl of your dreams.

What you gonna do now?

Ask her sister.

Tamara. What? How about a late movie Saturday?

I'd love to, Roger.

Naturally, honey dip.

Who's the man now? Two women, one Saturday night?

Kill me Sunday, because life will never get better than that.

Uh, Roger, you think you ought to be doing this?

You know, you got a point, Mike.

Those sweet girls deserve to be played like this.

I know you charge $3 .99 a minute, so forgive me if I'm talking a little fast,

but I was just wondering if there's a man in my future, because you don't know

how long it's been since I had a date. And I was wondering, could you do me a

little something -something, because I really need to meet... You know,

actually, you got a sexy voice.

Are you seeing...

This and that stuff.

Well, honey, wait a minute. Come on now. Sit down over here. And you just tell

me all about this boy.

How do you know there's a boy?

Oh, I know that look. I've had that look.

It's either a boy or an overturned Twinkie truck on the freeway.

Tell me, tell me, tell me.

Okay, well, it's a boy. And he's really cute and...

My head is just reeling from all that information I just got.

I got the same thing when Tamara came in.

She's got a new boyfriend, too?

I guess, but naturally, she won't tell me anything about it. I'm only the

father.

You know, Ray, we should make an effort to meet these boys and their family.

Well, I'm impressed, Lisa. What a nice, old -fashioned idea.

Oh, snap out of it, Ray. I was just hoping that one of them had a nice,

father.

Also, an older brother.

And a young grandfather.

I've got a date Saturday night.

So do I.

Who's yours?

I know this is going to sound weird, but I'm a little embarrassed to say it.

No, no, no. That's not weird at all because I feel the same way.

Maybe mine will drop by after our date.

Wait till you see him, Tamera. He is so...

Are you cold?

Not really, but it's sweet of you to ask.

Hey!

Oops, I'm sorry.

That's okay.

Hey, is that a raccoon?

Where? Ow!

Hi.

Sorry about that.

I guess I'm a little nervous.

I really like you, Tia.

I like you too, Roger.

Oh, no.

Oh, my gosh. It's almost 8 .30.

Um, Roger, I promised Tamir that she could have the car for her date. Um, he

doesn't drive.

That doesn't mean he doesn't have it going on.

Roger, your pants are ringing.

Talk to me.

Oh, yeah.

I'll be home in about ten minutes.

So? See you then, sweet thing.

Uh, Mom?

Mom?

Lisa, my date just called me Mom.

Honey, I wouldn't care if a man called me Chuckabut, long as he called me.

Hello,

fatty friend?

Yeah, let me speak to Dion.

Latoya?

Jermaine? Oh, yeah, well, whoever.

When am I going to meet that man you promised me?

Really? That soon?

Ooh, gotta go. Thank you, Sergeant Fred.

You tell Dion I said you go, girl.

Ooh, I did it. It's my man.

Ooh, come on in here and rock my world.

Hello, I'm Inez Williams, and I'd like to tell you about our...

Michael, Oliver, Robert, Red. Oh, enough said. I'll see you on Sunday. Oh, thank

you.

So who was that at the door?

The answer to my prayers.

You know, Ray, I had a vision.

I know what's missing in my life.

Church.

So you did a little talking to the man upstairs.

There's a man upstairs?

Yes, well, he definitely set me aside, so tomorrow I'm going to the North Hills

Church. Lisa, that's a wonderful idea.

You know, I've been thinking about trying another church. We'll all go.

All?

God didn't say nothing about no all.

And besides, church is no place for the family.

Don't be silly. Remember, a family that prays together stays together.

Yeah, well, why can't y 'all stay together at home?

Now you look cold.

We could turn up the heat.

Yes, we could.

Hey, is that a raccoon?

feeling there's someone else another woman whoa if someone messed with my man

girlfriend's going down my guy oh no listen this is a wonderful

idea it's about time we did more things as a family yeah yeah just don't sit

near me i want to go up front i i want to be closer to the lord dear dear now

honey now usually i would be all up in your business but I'm trying this new

parenting thing called trust, so just tell me.

Now, this mystery date of yours, he was a gentleman, wasn't he?

Yeah, of course he was.

Although he did try to kiss me.

But don't worry, Mom.

I kept my eye on him. Good, baby, because you know men are animals.

Lisa's going on safari.

So, um, Inez, where are all these single men you told me about?

Right over there, dear. That's Mr.

and Mrs.

Singleman, and their lovely children, Reggie, Oliver.

What? But I came here to meet an unmarried man.

Oh, but if you meet one, honey, lock the door.

Little old lady, I think you better run.

Now, if you turn to page 21 in your humos, this song is one of my personal

favorites. No, give.

Who's your bumper buddy going to be?

Well, hang on to the pew.

It's Roger.

Roger?

Roger who?

How many Rogers do we know?

Well, I'm hoping more than one, because Roger's my bumper buddy.

You?

You're the other woman?

No, you're the other woman.

Please, stand back, Dad. This could get ugly.

was appalling.

You are so right, Ray.

You girls ought to be ashamed.

Don't get your boxes in a bunch. Trust me, it doesn't feel too good.

Oh, so it's okay if our daughters are fighting over a man in church?

Oh, it doesn't surprise me. Coming from a woman who uses the house of God as a

singles bar.

Come on, Ray. Looking for a man in church does not make me a hussy. What do

think all those other women were there for?

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Those decent, God -fearing women are there looking for a road to heaven.

Talk to Tia.

She thinks you like her. Isn't that ridiculous?

Crazy. Mary, you know that I only love you, baby.

So, see you later at the car wash, bumper buddy.

Okay. Bye, bumper buddy.

Hello,

Roger. Um, I hope you're telling Tamir she's wasting her time.

Tia. You know that I only love you, baby.

Do I smell barbecue nachos?

Mm -hmm.

These are for you.

Thanks. So, see you later at the car wash, bumper buddy.

Okay. Bye, bumper buddy.

Man, do you realize you're gonna have those two fighting over you at the car

wash today?

Oh, yeah.

Life is good.

Special bean casserole. Oh, boy, another bean casserole.

Why don't we freeze this sucker till later?

When's the last time this place had a good clean?

You two are working it again?

We're just taking care of this poor man.

That's very sweet of you, Selma.

He's so starved his clothes are...

Practically hanging off of him.

You wish.

This house is a sty.

Give me that. Give me that. Give me that. I can do the cleaning for him. And

can feed him, too.

Well, thank you, Lisa. Shut up.

That's my combo. Might be my sweet potato pie.

Could be my Pop -Tart.

Morning, Mr. Campbell.

Three women waiting on you? This is all right.

Well, it ain't half bad.

You know I was a little nervous about you finding out. But now, after seeing

with all your women, I realize we're two of a kind.

What are you talking about?

Tia and Tamara.

I'm dating them both.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. You're the boy. You're the reason they're

fighting. They're fighting over me? Give me five up top, bro.

You gonna leave me hanging, Mr. Campbell?

I am the man, right, Mr. Campbell?

Yeah, the dead man.

Hey, is that a raccoon?

I know where you live.

Oh, no, you didn't. Little old lady, you did not throw out my bacon pan. You got

to go home.

Get out. Get out of here. Get out of here. Out, out. You too. You too.

Oh, as soon as you finish those delicates.

I do not want any...

Anything that's going to be heated up in here is going to be done by me.

Oh, Lisa, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were a little jealous.

Me?

Jealous? Oh, that's a good one, Ray.

I see.

You know, that bean casserole made me a little thirsty.

I could sure use a glass of milk.

Oh, could you?

How about a couple of homemade cookies to go with that? Oh, I could go for

Good. While you're in there, get me some peach coffee.

all of you? Uh -huh.

Tia, we have been so stupid.

I know.

Tamira, we shouldn't be fighting each other.

Right. You take the five on the left, and I'll take the little one.

No, no, no, Tamira. What?

They're not the enemy.

The enemy is... Hey, my little bumper buddies.

Miss me?

come between us again.

Hi, girls.

Roger, what are you doing here?

Yeah, and why are you coming in through the window?

Uh, I didn't want to disturb your dad.

He is asleep, right?

I think so.

I hope so.

I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry if I hurt you.

I was just trying to be cool, and I acted like a fool.

You girls deserve to be treated with decency and respect.

Thanks, Roger.

So will you forgive me?

We forgive you, Roger.

Good, because I got a box of Tic Tacs and time to kill.

Go home, Roger.

A little help here, people.

Ray,

it's 4 o 'clock in the morning. You going to get me that peach cobbler or

Nope. You going to get me some milk?

Nope.

You got that right.

We'll both jump up on the count of three, then nobody wins, nobody loses.

good, because I got to go potty.

One, two, three.

So, wait, you won't give me that peach cobbler, what?