Original subtitles

Dad, Dad, you followed me home.

Hi, Roger.

Not Roger. Look.

Isn't he cute?

Oh, Daddy, please, can I keep him? I know the responsibilities involved with

caring for a dog.

I'll feed him. I'll bathe him. I'll take him for a walk. I'll take him to the

vet. Hey.

It's a better idea if I try to find the owner.

The paper for my car. Listen.

For sale, 76 Cadillac Eldorado. Low mileage.

Body needs some work and some TLC.

All original equipment.

Slight damage to rear end.

So, what do you think?

Seems okay. Well, if I don't sell my car, I can always use the same ad to get

a date in the personal.

Hey, everybody.

Oh, hi, Tamara.

How was piano lesson? Okay.

Now, you know how we said we'd give it a month and see if we still liked it?

Hmm, vaguely.

Well, do you still enjoy it? I guess so.

Good a**. Because I've got something for you, Tamara Campbell of Detroit,

Michigan. Come on down.

Right through door number one.

Wow, Dad.

This keyboard is the bomb.

Ray, I love snorkeling. Yeah, you want me to buy you a snorkel? No, a yacht to

get to the Bahamas so I can watch other people snorkel.

Very funny.

Great, Tamara. Star jamming.

That's great.

Oh, boy. Let's hear what it sounds like in the pipe organ mode.

Ray, now don't you think you're overdoing it for somebody just starting?

kidding? She's got to practice on something, doesn't she? Yeah, I guess

right. I have not overdone it. Besides, it's on legs in case she books a gig or

something.

Hey, Dad, look.

I'm playing better already.

Yeah.

that the first couple of days.

It's been six weeks.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe I should tell my dad to return this keyboard.

Well, if he hadn't gotten refried beans on it, maybe he could.

See, the only thing I can do well on this thing is eat lunch.

Come on, Tamera. Being a little too hard on yourself.

Here, let me see if I can help you out.

goof in the music room, and I just picked up a few things.

You picked up a few things?

Well, Tamira, music isn't that hard.

It's based on mathematic permutations.

But painting's more my medium.

You know, Tamira, you ought to get started on your painting, too. The art

coming up on the 13th. Yeah.

How hard could painting be?

Uh -oh.

That painting looks hard.

Well, dear, we're twins.

We have the same genes. There was no reason I... I can't be as creative as

are.

Oh, man!

I wanted to be able to play the piano.

Our eggs didn't split evenly. You got all the good genes.

You're being silly.

Am not. You got the math genes, the science genes, the art genes, and what

are left for me.

Well, I've got some ripped jeans in the closet upstairs.

And you've got the joke jeans, too.

Come on, Tamira. You're as talented as me. You just have to apply yourself.

You know what?

I am going to apply myself.

I'm going to start practicing every single day.

Well... Except when me and the gang have to hang out at Senior Taco.

Or every day at 4 o 'clock when I have to watch Tempest Bledsoe.

Or when I just don't feel like practicing.

Samara, that's not exactly applying yourself.

Yeah, you're right.

Well, there's ten minutes before Tempest comes on.

I'm going to start practicing right now.

alone, so I'm not distracting you with my loud brush strokes.

Oh, what is that sound but the melody of the gods?

I don't hear anything, Dad.

No, I'm talking about your playing.

Oh, come on. Who are you kidding?

No, really. I mean, I would have said something before, but I didn't want to

meddle and spoil your fun, but you're showing a lot of improvement.

You really think so? Oh, absolutely.

Now he's only playing with one hand.

Oh, wow. You made all that...

Sound with just one hand?

Jeff?

Wow, well, you just keep up the good work. And another thing, Tamara, your

of the egg is doing just fine.

It's a little scramble around finals time, but other than that... Oh, thanks,

Dad. Do you want to hear another tune? No, no, no, no.

I've got that first tune playing up in my head.

So you just keep on practicing, and I'll listen to it up here.

This baby is a real beast, isn't it?

There was only one owner before me. I got it from a lady right here in Detroit

who only used it to go back and forth to work.

But there are 218 ,000 miles on it.

Well, she worked in Chicago.

It's a beautiful car.

I don't think I want it.

Wow!

That's a piece of junk.

I'll give you $2 .50 for this.

$2 .50? For this beautiful antique circa 1967 lighting fix that's unlocking? Are

you crazy?

Okay. $3.

Now you're talking.

Think I might come back with my wife and I heed?

This garage is a veritable honor plenty.

Oh? You think so, huh?

Well, hey, maybe I'll have a garage sale, yeah.

Turn my trash into cash.

How much for this wrench?

No, no, no, I can't sell that. That's Ray's. A buck?

Ray who?

I'll be back.

Hey,

Ray, Ray, I just made $4 in less than five minutes.

You made that much for this car?

What did you do, throw in a lot of extras?

I didn't sell the car, no. I sold this junky old swag ramp over here. And

there's a lot of junk in here that we could sell. Old clothes, old records,

tchotchkes. I thought you were trying to sell your car.

Look, I'll cut you in four takes.

You don't have to cut me in for taste, whatever that means.

Go ahead and have your little garage sale.

It's actually a good way to get rid of some of this stuff. Oh, thank you, Ray.

You looking for something?

Yeah. Have you seen a number six Crescent Ridge?

Oh, well, was it about this long, silvery, with the words property of R.

Campbell scratched into it?

Yeah. Oh, no, I haven't seen it. Okay.

Well, we thought since you were going to practice, we'd leave you alone. No!

I wanted you guys to hear this piece I've been working on. Oh, we'd love to.

Oh, gee, good you're here. I was just about to play the entertainer. Oh, well,

can come back later. Oh, no, no, no, no. I want you to hear it, too.

Tia, is that your painting? Oh, yeah. I finally finished. Of course, art's never

really finished.

Honey, that's beautiful.

That fruit looks so delicious, I could eat it.

Well, you did. That's why I had to finish it from memory.

Well, it's sure to be well -received at the art show. Ah, thanks, everybody.

Tamara, how's your painting coming?

Dad, please, one masterpiece at a time.

I've been working hard mastering the piano.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, that didn't count.

Let me do that again, okay?

Ready and begin.

No, no, no, dear. That's great. You're doing so well.

Really, weren't you guys?

Yeah. You better understand that to be nice, are you? Because I'm so into

playing, it's hard to hear what it sounds like. Oh, no, no. You played with

verve and style and... Zest. Zest.

Oh,

yes. Very zesty.

I'm so proud of you, Tamara.

Honestly, Dad?

Would I lie to you?

Ray, why'd you lie to her?

I didn't lie to her. I was trying to give her encouragement.

She should know the truth. She might take it the wrong way.

She's not going to take it the wrong way.

Oh, by the way, Dad, my piano teacher was trying to discourage me from playing

in the big recital next week. But since you think I'm doing so well, you know

what? I'm going to be in that recital.

You are?

Thanks, Dad. If it wasn't for you, I would have quit playing.

He's not that much better than Tamara.

Thank you, Roland.

Thank you.

Oh, right down the hall and turn left.

And don't forget to wash your hands afterwards.

Announcement. Parents, be sure to sign your little ones up for the summer

session here at the Matushka Conservatory of Music.

Spaces are filling up fast.

Just a word of warning. Also, P .S., good news, we now take Visa, so your

ones can play now and pay later.

Let's keep things moving along. Our next young performer didn't sign up in time

to make it into the program, but you can find her name penciled in right under

the bake sale announcement.

Everyone, let's give a nice Carl Matushka Conservatory welcome to Tamara

Campbell.

by the dead Scott Joplin.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. That didn't count.

Mom, he plays bad.

Honey, now that's not right.

She plays badly.

Poor Tamira.

She just wants to make it perfect.

Well, then we may be here a while.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait. Oh, please.

Thank you, Tamara.

Wait, but you didn't let me bring it home.

You were in the neighborhood, darling.

Wasn't she dazzling?

of course, is only one number per student.

Oh, remember our Tchaikovsky fantasy camp begins this summer. Be there or be

square.

You were pretty good.

Yeah, but you stink.

The entertainer. How ironic.

Thanks a lot, Dad.

One electric keyboard with some refried beans between the keys.

Only played a few times.

Rotten. Come on, Tamir. You don't want to get rid of that keyboard. I can't

it. Yes, but I can.

Think you're trying to paint.

Bye. Thanks, Tamir.

Your painting is coming along nicely.

Dad, just give it up. Your credibility is shot.

If you're still referring to the piano recital, which I still think went all

right. I was just trying to give you encouragement.

Dad, you crossed the line from encouragement to lying.

Why didn't you just tell me that I played piano bad?

That's played badly.

Thanks for finally telling the truth.

Well, I'm sorry.

Parenting doesn't come with an owner's manual.

I'd do anything to keep you from being hurt.

Dad, I'm not a little kid anymore.

You don't have to treat me like a baby. Like the time when you told me what

happened to my goldfish.

You mean the one that ran away?

Dad, that fish was flushed, and I know it.

You should have just told me the truth that I don't have any talent.

So, Lisa, how much for the phone and the crock pot?

Hey, what were you doing in the house?

Browsing.

The stuff in the house is not for sale.

Please. This is America.

Everything is for sale.

I'll have you know there are three things in this country that are not for

Justice is not for sale. Freedom is not for sale. And that crock pot is not for

sale.

Yes.

So how much for the phone?

Rhonda, what are you doing here?

I thought I'd come help your family clobber away out of financial ruin.

We're just cleaning out the garage.

Sure, sure.

Whatever. Well, you know, I...

You only came out at night to holla at the moon.

Oh, I get it. A shot at me.

Nice try.

Leave tea alone, Rhonda. Just because you're the prettiest, smartest, sexiest,

loveliest... What was my point?

Hey, Lisa, all right.

You almost cleared out the garage, got rid of all this junk.

Yeah, I made lots of dollars.

Oh, thank you.

Peaches and herb!

You're supposed to get rid of the junk, not the good stuff.

These albums are worth a fortune.

I know. I got $10 for them.

May I have this back, please, ma 'am? No. I paid good money for them.

Lisa, would you give the woman her money back?

No. All sales are final.

All right. I'll buy them back.

Here is your $10.

Forget it.

$15.

All right.

$15.

Well, I'll be seeing you, Lisa.

Hey, hey, hey.

When are you going with that perfectly good waffle iron?

I'm going to make waffles.

Well, I want it back. How much you pay for it?

Five, ten.

Twenty.

All right, here's your $20.

I pay $20.

You're not paying $20.

Yeah. I remember when you wore this little hat on picture day.

I had so much fun laughing at you.

And this sweater, for you looked like a sunburned bumblebee.

You got a whole week out of that one.

You know, I ought to buy all this stuff.

There's so many wonderful memories.

This stuff is really hideous, Rhonda.

Oops.

Sorry.

Ah, we've been using it as a rag.

Look at Tamara's painting. It's terrible.

What do I say to her?

Well, maybe it's the perfect opportunity to do what she asked you to do. Tell

her the truth.

Okay, but my words can cut like a knife.

Ray, you don't have to be vicious.

Oh, all right.

Oh, Ray, Ray, what do you think of my new bracelet? I got it with my garage

money.

Well, to be kind of honest, it's gaudy.

I wasn't the one who asked you to be honest.

Hey, Dad, what do you think of my painting?

Well... I don't care for it a bit.

Oh, Dad, you're just saying that because I told you to be honest.

No, no, no, I'm being honest.

Like style or composition.

I think it's one of the worst paintings I've ever seen.

Dad, just give it up.

All right, I'll prove it to you. Hey, you, I want your opinion.

Tell her how bad this is.

Now, how can you insult this young lady's work?

Oh, it's okay, I'm her father.

Go ahead, tell her it's terrible.

Terrible? This is a promising piece of artistic work.

Oh, what do you know?

Dad, this is Mr. Zoloft, the art teacher.

Oh.

It's so inspiring.

Uplifting. What do you call it?

I call it, life is dark and bad.

So, you really think I'm good?

You have a natural talent, and I can tell where you get your inner turmoil.

Take heart.

Picasso's parents were no picnic either.

Wait, wait, wait. Just a minute, Mr. Zoloft.

My...

a picnic.

He just doesn't know anything about art.

Right. See, I asked him to be honest with me. He's always trying to encourage

me, but I'd rather he do it by telling me the truth.

It's your life, kid.

Well, Dad, how about that? I'm an artist, so I'm not from the shallow end

gene pool.

Of course not.

Tell you what, on the way home, we'll stop by the art supply store and we'll

pick up more canvases and paints and... Why stop at that? We'll get some clay

and we'll...

Have you seen some of those weird sculptures?

Why not, Dad? I can do anything.

I got inner turmoil.

Some people just don't get it.

You have major talent as a singer.