Original subtitles

Oh, do you look? Here's one. It says, Advertising agency seeks a person with

artistic ability.

I've got that. Good communication skills. Got that.

And a master's degree in business.

I was so close.

In high school, there are two important things a girl needs. A boyfriend and

money. We have neither.

Do you have to tell them everything?

Unfortunately, an allowance just isn't enough.

And when you run out, you get the lecture. I hate the lecture. My dad

says, You have to learn the value of money, young lady. It doesn't grow on

trees.

And my mom?

Honey, in my day, all I got was a dollar. But I worked that dollar. Child,

squeezed that George Washington so hard, Martha got jealous.

So we decided the best way for us to get money was to get a job. We'll work on

the boyfriend thing later. And that's the biggest news in our lives right now.

Oh, yeah, and one more thing.

My little cousin Taj is staying with us for a couple of weeks while his folks

are on a cruise. And, of course, we're trying to make him feel like he's right

at home.

Tia and Tamara, here's your laundry.

And I put it to soften it just the way you like it.

Oh, thanks, Taj, but this laundry's too heavy for you to carry by yourself.

Yeah, next time, make two -trick.

Good idea.

Isn't he cute?

We'll see you next time.

You know,

Taj, you shouldn't let the girls take advantage of you. You're a guest in this

house. You understand?

Yes, Aunt Lisa.

Good. Now go get me some iced tea.

Lisa, we finally found the perfect job. Fun -seeking females needed for

telephone service

have a pleasant voice.

Hello.

And a special appreciation for the opposite sex.

Goodbye.

What's the matter? Well, look at the number.

1 -900 -HORNY.

Oh.

Ew.

Hi, everybody.

We're looking for a job.

I'm fine, thank you.

Do you know anybody who's hiring?

Because you really don't have time for jobs.

You have your studies, your homework, your chores. Lisa, do you know anybody?

You know, if we earned our own money, we'd be more independent.

Yeah, and we'd be able to buy you guys great gifts.

Ooh, imagine that, Ray.

Furs, jewels, cars.

It may be a nice time for you.

I think you're too young for jobs.

Everybody always says we're too young.

I got the same problem.

Just give it now.

You know we're going to wear you down eventually.

Okay, okay.

Maybe girls could use a little responsibility, a little independence.

Thanks, Dad.

You can come work for me.

You?

Oh, come on, Ray. These girls don't want to work for you. The people that work

for you don't want to work for you.

That is not true.

Is it?

You?

Yeah, we're going to have a lot of fun working together.

It's tough finding a good job out there.

Dad, give us a little credit.

Yeah, we're bright. We're capable.

And we can get a job on our own.

Thanks for the job.

And thanks for not laughing at us when we came crawling back.

Oh, you'll see. It's going to be great.

All righty.

Out here we have the heart of the whole limo operation.

It's an alley.

Yeah, but it's my alley.

That's where we keep our hoses.

Soap. These are the sponges. And over here we have the towels.

You better write this down.

Dad, isn't there something else we could do, like run the front office?

You wouldn't want special treatment, would you?

Yeah.

Let me introduce you to some of the guys.

I hope they're cute.

Slim, Ernie, this is my daughter Tamara and her sister Tia. They're going to be

working with us. Well, nice to meet you, girls.

Same here.

Hey there, Tamara.

I got your nose.

guys working here? Yeah, who still eat solid food.

Yeah, well, there's Skippy here.

Skippy!

These are my girls.

No,

no, no. They'll be working here after school.

Well,

enough of this chit -chat.

Skippy, you want to put this part away so all the girls are here?

And tell the other guys to watch the language.

I can't believe it. My little girl working side by side with me.

Wasn't so long ago I was changing her diapers.

Dad?

It's okay.

Skippy still wears her diaper.

I told you this place was going to be fun.

I need help. I've been telling you that for years.

I was wondering if I could borrow some big sparkly earrings.

You want some high heels to go with them?

They got to be round and hanging with diamonds.

Roger, what are you up to?

Well, there's this girl at school, Tyra. You know, she's more than a girl. She's

a goddess.

Two of us living in the same city.

Hard to believe.

So what's the problem?

Well, I gave Tyra my mom's diamond earrings.

What? Are you crazy?

I thought they were just cheap costume jewelry. Kind of like the stuff you

Well, I don't have a chump like you to give me the good stuff.

Yeah, I am a chump.

See, my mom wants to wear them for their 12th anniversary, which is strange,

seeing as I'm 14.

Now, listen, you've got to march right up to your little fatal distraction and

get your jewels.

That's going to be hard. I mean, Tyra wears them every day. It's almost like

we're going steady.

Except no kissing, no dating, and no talking.

You know what your problem is?

It's that classic struggle between the woman you love and your mother.

Huh?

I want Tricky Lake.

Roger, you know what you got to do.

Get rid of my mother?

No. You got to march right up to that little tart and just tell her. But I

can't. Just be brave, Roger.

Now, you can do it. But you are tough.

You are aggressive.

You're the man. You are Roger.

Yeah, I am, huh?

He's a dead man.

Tag is towed.

We struggled working at my dad's limo service for over a month. It was a week.

Felt like a year. Yeah.

We even started to understand what Skippy's grunts meant.

Scary.

You know, working for your parents is really lame. But it was the money and

experience and, uh... Did we mention the money?

Anyway, we were determined to make it work. And Dad says... If life gives you

lemon, find a lobster to squeeze it on.

So we worked harder than we ever had before.

Ah, ah, ah.

You missed the spot.

Remember, if it's not clean, I get mean.

We learned the precision archivology telling.

We bonded to a Skippy, Slim, and Ernie.

And we tried to keep a positive attitude.

A one job, girl.

Great having you here.

Can we have a raise?

No, but you can go to lunch.

Right after you wash the...

Oh,

man, I just...

Do you

smell

that?

We smell like turtle wax.

You know, what's with this line? It's hardly moving.

Hey, yo, working women here on lunch.

Look at that counter girl flirting with that guy.

You know, she had... to give out fries with that shake.

Well, actually, he is cute.

Yeah, and so is he.

And so is he.

And so is he. See ya. Check out that guy behind us.

He smiled at me.

Hey. Hi.

You smell sort of wax?

I hate our job.

No, I wish we worked here.

What is taking so long? Let's go. Let's go.

Sorry about the wait.

What wait?

See, I'm a little short -handed.

What's the problem?

Well, you see, I had to let go a couple of my employees because they were

stealing.

Great.

Excuse me?

No, no, no. It's just that we're looking for a job. We are. Tia, keep up.

Well, do you have any experience in food service?

No, but we always wash our hands after going to the bathroom.

It's the law.

Would you excuse us for one second?

What are you doing? We have a job.

Tia, look at these guys here.

Now picture Ernie, Slim, and Skippy.

You know, we're very responsible.

And we'd be here early. We'll even stay after the place closes.

Why would you want to do that?

Basically because we're idiots.

Oh, sounds like you'll fit right in.

I don't know what it is, but I feel like taking a chance.

Don't fight the feeling.

All right, then. Why don't you guys come on back and we'll get the paperwork

started. Thanks.

Yes! We have a job! We have a job! We have paperwork!

I mean, how are we going to tell Ray?

Oh, don't worry.

My dad won't care.

sign, but we still hated the job. But before we could quit, my dad said the

worst possible thing.

I really love having you girls here. You are the sunshine of my alley.

Yeah.

That's such a responsibility.

And there was only one answer.

Unfortunately, we didn't know what it was. So while we were trying to figure

out, we had to be in two places at once.

Twins can do that, you know.

But not very well.

Tia? That's me.

Where's Tamara?

I'm with a trainer on the fry machine.

She's back in the meat locker.

I'm sure she'll be... Wait a minute. Is that guy still in ketchup?

Where?

Hey, wait a minute.

Ketchup's free.

Oh, boy, is it cold in that meat locker.

You know, you can hang meat in there.

Tamara? That's me, Tamara.

Well, now where did Tia go?

Boy, it's a job keeping up with you two.

It's two jobs.

Tamara, where's Tia?

Dad, you will not believe this.

Tia is so dedicated that she's actually cleaning under the car.

Is that right?

Tia, how's it going under there? Dad, she really needs to focus.

Okay, when she finishes, tell her to do the gray caddy.

No problemo, Padre.

Come on, Tia.

Get your raggedy butt out here.

Hi, uh, Tia's working out back.

Sister's working out back.

Hi.

Ah!

What are you doing here?

Is Jared going to be there?

Stop that!

I better get to the limo place.

Well, hurry up. I don't want your dad getting mad at you thinking it's me

I'm here being you.

What's that hat you're wearing?

What hat?

All right. All systems are go.

Have you spotted the target?

Okay. I got her in my sights.

I'm zeroing in.

God, she's beautiful.

Roger, concentrate.

I am.

Shut down your hormones and prepare to do battle.

You are tough. You the man. You are Roger.

Yeah. She doesn't know who she's fooling with.

Thanks a lot, Lisa.

Now bring them back alive.

Tyra, we have to talk. Now.

Yes?

Those earrings look beautiful on you.

Thank you, Robert.

It's Roger, but I can change it.

Tyra. All I'm trying to say is I really like your shirt.

And I like your earrings.

Someone gave them to me.

But as beautiful as they are, they look even more beautiful on a beauty like you

if I got them clean.

Thank you, Ronald.

It's Robert.

But the thing is, I clean them in the shower.

You shower with my earrings?

No answer.

She must be some babe.

I made you some snacks.

Taz, you have got to stop waiting on us.

Pizza roll.

a minute something smells funny sorry you

know one of you girls smells

like armor roll and the other one smells like a rocket burger special number two

heavy on the pickle bloodhound mom we

were trying to keep it a secret but we got these great jobs at rocket burger

been getting free fast food and didn't tell me?

We didn't want Dad to find out, so we're working both jobs.

Well, girls, that is crazy!

Well, when were you planning on telling him?

We just didn't want to hurt Dad's feelings.

Well, I can understand that. Men do have fragile egos.

You just have to break it to him gently.

Hi, everybody.

Did it?

It's got nothing to do with you, Dad.

I thought we were having such a great time.

Well, yeah.

It's just that Tina and I want to work where the people are a little younger.

And we're a little more fun.

I'm young. I'm fun.

You found another job?

Did I say that?

Well, wasn't that smarter than Ray? They didn't dump you till they lined up

another job.

Yeah, that was really smart of you, girl. Yeah, great planning.

It's okay?

Of course, as long as it makes you happy.

Oh, great. We're going to be working on vodka burgers. I'm so excited.

Yes. Oh, my God, so excited.

They're really sad on the inside.

You think so?

No.

Okay, it's 2 .45.

Tyra just finished gym, so she should be stopping to get a drink of water, then

heading to her locker to put on more lipstick.

It's Wednesday, so she'll be wearing Rhapsody Red.

You got it bad, huh?

I got a hole in my heart and my love is leaking on my shoes.

I'll call a janitor.

There she is.

You're not going to embarrass me and tell her you're my mother, are you?

No, besides as young as I am. Look, she wouldn't believe me anyway.

Did you tell her you're my girlfriend?

Keep dreaming, Don wannabe.

What are you going to do?

I'm just going to go talk some sense to her. You know, woman to woman.

Woman to woman.

Good idea.

Give me those earrings. You're a little gold. Better be glad they weren't

pissed.

Tyler, would you like to go out this Friday?

There's a bracelet in it for you.

I think he's so jealous.

Any room on that couch for another potato?

Sure. Just watching some home movies of Tamara.

They said twins.

That's her fourth birthday.

Ooh.

Ooh, she was a little rough on that boy, wasn't she? Oh, yeah, that was Roger.

That boy was whipped even back then.

Used to love holding my hand all the time.

Wouldn't let it go.

People grow up, Ray. They get older.

That's me.

People really do get older.

How about if I make you some popcorn, Grandpa?

Hi.

Hi, Tosh.

Look at the way she's washing that wagon.

She doesn't even know...

I know you'll be going home soon, but while you're here, you want to learn the

limo business?

I pay.

You think I'm going to take money to be a temporary substitute for the child you

feel you're losing?

$3 an hour.

We were really taking off. Of course, we still had to do some cleaning.

But we were cleaning from Mike.

Hi,

Mike. Hey.

You know, I don't know if I told you girls or not, but I'm going to be going

away to college soon.

Can we come?

So I wanted you to meet Pete Pruitt.

Now, he'll be taking over for me starting next week. And I'm sure you

get along just fine.

Hi.

Hi.

You missed the spot. If it's not clean, I get mean.

How could this happen again?

What can I say? I'm a pawn in the feminine hand.

Gotta get those earrings back.

Just remember, you're tough.

You are the man.

You're Roger.

Yeah. She doesn't know what she's messing with.

And when he starts nibbling on my ear, I want it to taste expensive.

But my mom, she doesn't need him till tomorrow. It's only one night. What

happen? A lot.

I hope so, Roger.

Chump, get me some iced tea.