Original subtitles

We have a device that can allow one human being back in time for 11 days.

This weekend, it's romance with a capital R as real -life Romeo, Prince

Zayani of Algeria, weds his Juliet, the beautiful Princess Lisette Darcy of

Saint -Simon, in what promises to be the social event of the decade.

The Royal Nuptials are set to take place right here at the Darcy Summer Castle

on the Isle of Abriel, and the super -exclusive guest list includes

and dignitaries from around the world, in addition to the First Lady of the

United States.

Much like Romeo and Juliet, this romance is not without its detractors,

political factions on both sides who oppose the union.

We've actually learned that several anonymous threats have been made to both

prince and his lovely bride -to -be. But we're sure that this royal fairy tale

will come true.

So here's to those champagne wishes and caviar dreams.

What is it, Linda?

Uncle, it's infuriating. The paparazzi, they are like cockroaches.

It is outrageous.

I'll speak to security immediately.

They could at least wait until I get them clothes on.

Don't worry, little one.

I swear I won't let another thing disturb your day.

Oh, Father.

How I wish you were here right now.

Come on, Frank.

You can do it.

Chow that's down in the next 15 seconds, and you've got the record.

What's going on?

Ever heard of a movie called Cool Hand Luke?

Paul Newman's in prison, and he makes a bet he can eat 50 pickled eggs.

Oh, and our boy here just did 51!

Yeah!

Ooh!

That's never happened to me. I've eaten 51 eggs before.

Actually, I have. At Cibador and Mint, he ate 62.

Thank you, sir. Oh, tough break, but, well, life goes on.

So, are you ready to make me an offer I can't refuse?

I've got to warn you, Talmadge and Minder both have very intriguing bids on

table. Um... Go on.

Oh, pack your bags.

Hey, what's going on?

Oh, John's been invited to the wedding of Princess Lucette and Prince Hamal,

I'm going.

Huh? You want a raffle?

Uh, no, actually, Princess Lisette and I are old friends.

We met a few years ago while I was visiting Oxford.

You're actually going to this thing?

Well, you know, a beautiful princess, a dashing billionaire, a costly wedding.

It's a real -life fairytale.

Uh, reality check. You're talking about a weekend in some stone crypt with

outdoor plumbing and a bunch of inbred stuffed shirts.

Yeah, I've spoken like a man who's just eaten 51 pickled eggs. Mr. Parker, you

have absolutely no idea what the romance is all about.

I must go. I have to pack.

Just remember I told you so.

Raised by her widowed father, Princess Lisette was devastated by his unexpected

death earlier this year. But through the love and support of her Arabian knight

in shining armor, this daddy's girl will end a tragic year in triumphant

fashion.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Mesdames et messieurs, may I present Princess Lisette d 'Arcy and Prince

Zayani.

Thank you. Thank you all for coming. Thank you.

shirts, the nerve of him.

If only he was here to feed it.

Olga, maybe you should have another cocktail.

I mean, look at that.

Real romance.

It's not too much to ask, is it?

I couldn't agree with you more.

Oh, yeah.

Excuse me.

Oh. Oh, no.

Excuse me.

I didn't mean to startle you.

I heard that lovely accent. I just had to ask. You are obviously from a host of

royalty, are you not?

Oh, well, I'm not exactly Anastasia, but please, continue.

I am Kasim Rimos of Algiers.

I'm the prince's best man.

Of course you are. I mean, I knew that.

I'm Dr. Vukovic.

Olga Vukovic.

I say, a fairy godfather. The princess's own uncle, Duke Theodore Darcy.

For it was the Duke who insisted that Lisette take the cruise where she met

prince. And from that, I see holiday.

Who do you think is Ramsay's and Princess Groupie? Doctor, what the hell

doing here?

Don't worry.

Stick it safe with me.

Well,

I should be drinking beer in the security room. Relax.

Oh, well.

You and me watching a wedding special on a Friday night. A whole cool world.

Oh, come on. I mean, even you gotta admit, the whole thing's so damn...

it's colorful.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?

I know the best man is supposed to give a speech after the wedding, but... I

have a confession to make.

I had... serious reservations about this marriage.

I honestly did not think we would be here today because of the vast cultural

differences that exist between our people.

But now, now I cannot imagine a more perfect union.

Worlds can indeed collide with the most delightful consequences.

So, to true love.

Your Highness, I'm so sorry to bother you, but your uncle would like to speak

you on the patio.

Have the two of you seen the castle library?

It's really something to see. Please follow me. I'll take you there. Thank

yes.

Don't be long.

for a CZN special report.

At approximately 1 p .m. Greenwich Mean Time, an explosion broke out at the

Darcy Castle. The site of the pre -wedding call of Princess Lisette,

the throne of the small European principality of Saint -Simon. We have no

confirmed reports of casualties, and as yet, there is no word about the First

Lady or Princess Lisette.

We don't know anything about Ballard and Olga, but our latest intel indicates

that high -ranking NATO officials and Princess Lisette are among the dead.

With a guest list like that, we could be looking at a terrorist act here.

Boy, every time this world creates a little something beautiful, somebody's

to pinch one off in a punch bowl.

I'll alert the backstabber.

Damage?

Match them through.

Hello? Hello, can you hear us? Loud and clear, thank God. Are you both all

right? We're fine, thanks to Mr. Ramos.

Please, I did nothing.

He saved our lives.

Those other poor unfortunate people. I hate to think what might have happened

you hadn't been there.

But there's nothing about what might have happened, my sweet.

I am grateful that I was able to be here for you.

Olga, John, I can't tell you how relieved we all are. I'm sending a jet

Thanks.

Well, looks like Miss Vukovic finally found her prince charming.

For days, they've come from around the globe bearing flowers, cards, and

as the world pays homage to its fallen princess.

I can't believe she's gone.

From Mr. Wonderful.

Oh.

Oh, a plane ticket, huh?

Cassine wants me to meet him in New York this weekend.

So you gonna go?

Maybe. Is there any reason why I shouldn't?

No, hey, New York's great this time of year, providing, of course, you know

way around.

Oh, I don't think that'll be a problem. Kasim's family have owned a townhouse in

Manhattan for years.

Really?

Really.

Well, have a great time.

Thank you, I will.

Hey, free trip to NYC?

Who's gonna say no?

Well... The investigators discovered faulty wiring in one of the portable

generators that set up a bank of propane tanks that the caterers had brought to

the island.

We're to go, people.

Great. Let's do it.

I don't think I've ever seen Billy get the backstop of you.

Well, I don't think he's ever seen you with Mr. Wonderful before.

Excuse me.

I want you to... Promise me you're not going to do anything foolish.

Foolish? Me? I mean it. If you're going to interfere with my personal life.

Don't worry. You'll have your fun.

Oh. Well, good.

Didn't say with who.

Mr.

Pepper, I mean it.

This is not fair.

Let's not think about who might have been my sweet.

Goodbye, Mr. Parker.

Mr. Parker?

at the royal wedding party today.

Was it a terrorist attack?

No, a faulty generator set off the caterer's propane tank. It took out half

heads of NATO and the Princess, too.

Princess Lissette died?

She cried like a baby, Ramsey. It was touching, really.

No, I did not.

Man's a damn liar.

Anyway, Bradley, we decided it'd be best if I handled this thing myself.

All right, Frank. I'll send you the credentials to get onto that island with

chopper crew.

Ballard and Olga are already there. What happened to them the last time around?

Uh, nothing.

Nothing at all.

Sir, I'm getting a feeling that Parker's just trying to mingle with the in

crowd. Oh, come on, Ramsey. You really think I want to go to this stupid thing?

Probably going to be bored stiff.

98 ,000 francs. It's a bargain. I'll take it. Take it? Take what?

Hey, Parker, if you're pissing away Uncle Sam's money again... And, uh,

a couple of those cufflinks. You know, the platinum jobs with the diamonds.

Pay for diamonds.

Fake diamonds.

Parker.

Pick up the phone.

Parker, answer me.

I'll rip your...

It's

true that the wires are a little frayed, but... But nothing. Replace it and move

these propane tanks.

Sir, we don't have a backup. If we shut this one down, we'll have to consolidate

two food stations. You will do exactly as I say, or you can pack your souffle

pans and head back to the mainland.

Thank you, monsieur, for bringing this incompetence to my attention.

Heaven forbid anything should not be perfect for the wedding.

Just to do my job, we always run security checks in advance of the first

attends. Ow!

Sorry.

Ah, she is a little distracted today, naturally.

Naturally.

I believe this is yours.

Thank you so much. You're welcome, princess.

And perhaps you can refresh my gimlet.

Excuse me?

My gimlet?

Sure.

I'll refresh your little gimlet, all right?

Bradley, it's Parker.

How's it going in Camelot?

Oh, just peachy. Ever try to call a classified U .S. government number from

rotary phone?

Not lately.

Have you rectified the situation?

Disaster averted.

One of them, anyway. Cheers.

Oh,

here it comes.

Sir, he's milking this cow with both hands.

I'm sure Royal Security can handle whatever else might come up.

But if it's no problem to you to pull a little extra duty... Oh, God!

It's no problem, no problem at all.

I gotta go.

Any closer?

Impossible.

Nobody can get you closer. Not without an invitation.

Oh, phew.

What a shame.

Give him.

Oh, monsieur!

No!

Are you sure you can make it look like an accident?

Propane is a very volatile fuel.

And the Duke hired the relative of the caterer. They like to cut corners.

Even the royalty needs to save a few bucks now and then, huh?

Flora.

Frank? What are you doing here?

Oh, has there been a bath yet?

Relax. I already took care of it.

Where's Olga?

She's probably, you know, catching up on all the royal gossip. You know, girl

stuff. Uh -huh.

Look, you don't have to cover for her. I already know about that Kasim guy.

You do?

Oh, I mean, right. Why wouldn't you?

So, what do you know about him?

Well, he's pretty much a regular guy.

You know, very well endowed.

Oil wells.

I hear he inherited about a thousand.

No. I'd love to stay and chat, but... Go ahead, run along.

But don't tell Olga that I'm here, okay? I want to surprise her.

Oh, you're going to surprise her. I guarantee.

Beautiful daughters. They love to do it in churches.

Funerals, especially.

They drive them mad with passion.

She wears this little black dress with nothing underneath.

And what did she do when you told her about your wedding?

She asked me for an invitation.

Oh, no. What did you say?

What else? I told her to wear that little black dress.

Although it will be my funeral if I get caught here. Of course.

Well, that's as well you're near.

Thanks, Chief.

Champagne?

Mr. Parker?

Just thought you could do with a little relief from all these stiffs.

Ah, so there's been a backstep, has there?

Did something happen here?

Already taken care of, my sweet.

Olga! I was wondering if you'd like to join me for a bit of ballooning.

You've got a balloon here?

Yeah, it's a hobby of mine.

Must be a hell to blow that thing up, huh?

Have we met?

No, but I've heard a lot about you. Frank Parker.

I'm a friend of the lady.

Mr. Parker works with John Ballard and myself.

Oh, he designs it.

More like a fix -it guy.

Olga's the one with the brains.

And the beauty.

It's a diabolical combination.

Tell me about it.

I would love to go with you.

Just as soon as I've wrapped something up with Mr. Parker.

Nice meeting you, Cosmo.

Tessie. Whatever you say, Kashmir.

What do you say we blow this popcorn stand?

I hate weddings anyway. The cake sucks.

You're here because of him, aren't you? Did something happen between Kashmir...

Kasim and I in the other timeline?

How would I know?

Uh -huh. You know.

And it must have gone pretty far, otherwise you wouldn't have come dressed

that. Very, uh, dashing, as a matter of fact.

Oh, yeah?

You know, you are not going to ruin this for me, Mr. Parker.

We have a problem.

What's wrong?

The propane tanks are gone.

Someone must have moved them.

Then we change our plan.

Kasim.

Olga.

I was just checking the prevailing wind.

Oh, for ballooning.

And how are they blowing?

Not favorably, I'm afraid.

Is it my imagination, or did the temperature just drop 30 degrees?

Yes. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's much too cold.

Thank you.

Too cold for ballooning, anyway.

Listen, I'd like to apologize for what happened back there. Ah, yes.

I'm afraid I did not make a very good impression.

Oh, no, trust me, you made a very good impression. Otherwise, you wouldn't be

here. Oh.

So, uh, it has to be perfect for you to go up, does it?

Yeah.

But, uh, you do not need a balloon to soar high up above the ordinary.

Oh, really?

Well, you can do it simply with, uh, what you have.

How?

Well, first you have to, uh, close your eyes.

Close my eyes. Mm -hmm.

Okay.

And then lighten your heart.

You see, if your spirit is heavy, then you cannot drift up

above the clouds.

How do you feel?

As light as air, and much warmer, actually.

I know what you mean.

Speaking of warm, isn't that the band I hear warming up over there?

Yes, I believe it is.

Shall we dance?

Yes.

Listen, what happened... I didn't realize.

I wanted to apologize for earlier.

Oh, no, I'm the one who should be apologizing. No, I thought you were with

caterer. My uncle told me later that you found a problem that could have ruined

my party.

Thank you. You're welcome, but I feel really bad about not getting you that

drink.

Name's Parker, Frank B.

Lucette. Nice to meet you.

Have you ever been married, Mr. Parker?

Not exactly poster boy for the institution, but, uh, yeah.

Is it for love?

Hell yes.

I mean, yes.

But, hey, what do I know about love? This wedding's everybody's dream come

right?

I suppose it is.

But not yours.

It's all happened so fast.

After my romance and Hamal were so charming, my uncle was so supportive, it

was... Your honey?

I'm so sorry to bother you, but your uncle would like to speak to you in the

South Garden.

Thank you.

Duty calls.

Thanks for the chat, Mr. Parker.

Good luck, Princess.

May the Force be with you.

Uncle?

Uncle, are you all right?

Who is this man?

What is going on?

I don't know.

He's got friends.

Come on.

Yeah, Malik is down.

Someone just rescued the little bitch.

Dewey about?

That's Kim.

I would put this in your hair, but perfection needs no equitable.

Excuse me, sir.

You have an urgent message.

Excuse me, please.

Of course.

The princess is still alive. What do you want us to do?

Find her and kill her. She died tonight at any cost.

But, sir, we won't be able to keep this quiet. I said at any cost.

He said kill her now.

No, no, no, not you, my friend.

Please, stay calm.

If you do exactly as instructed, I promise you, you will not be harmed.

This is an outrage!

How dare you! Shut your mouth, old man.

Anyone who has a cell phone has a dober.

Kasim, what do you think you are doing?

I asked you the same thing many times, but you would not listen.

You insisted on polluting the bloodline, which is your legacy and your country's

future. I will never allow it. What gives you the right? History does.

Your ancestors died in the struggle to rid our country of the Europeans. Shame

on you.

They were never treated as anything but second -class citizens.

You yourself, stripped of your wealth, couldn't even get a job selling shoes in

her country.

Hate poisons your mind, Kasim.

No. No, it has cleared it.

You see, my dear friend, I will do whatever it takes to stop this marriage

happening, including killing you if I have to.

Do you think they'll be safe in here?

I hope so. Is there a phone?

Over there.

I can't believe this is happening.

Why aren't you dead?

Oh, my God.

God, what are we going to do? That's a good question.

Are you insane?

What? This is a Chateau Latour, 1945.

Do you have any idea what that's worth?

More than I make in a month, probably.

Oh, God, we're going to die. We're going to die. We're going to die. No, we're

not. Yes, we are.

Oh, give me a beer any day.

Now, I don't suppose you know of any... Hey!

I need you calm, not paralyzed.

I don't suppose you know of any secret passageways out of the castle, do you?

No.

But I know another way we can get World out.

Let's go.

No sign of her yet.

Who is protecting the Princess?

One of her security guards?

No, I can't take it.

He's wearing a tuxedo.

Well, find them and kill them both.

Where's Parker?

I'm looking outside of there.

I don't think he's lurking anymore.

You have to do something.

In my pouch, there's a cell phone.

Olga!

Handicover.

What?

That!

You're pretty tough with a gun in your hand.

You leave him alone.

The only reason I do not kill him is because of you.

Next time, I will not hesitate.

Okay.

Yeah.

You sure you know where you're going?

I've lived here all my life.

Who are

these

people? I don't know, but they've got a lot bigger guns than I do.

It all goes up to you.

Let me try.

Guard yourself up, babe.

All you had to do was that.

I thought the secret room was supposed to be behind a rotating bookcase.

My great -great -grandfather picked it in the late 1700s. It was meant as a

secret passageway to the main port.

Figures. I made it my hideaway when I was growing up.

Where'd you get this?

Croquet wasn't my only pastime. My uncle taught me to hunt.

Any more shelves?

Sorry.

I'll be damned.

Radio -free blue blood.

Very nice.

Let's see what we got here.

They were in the white cellar.

Keep looking.

David, check the rooms upstairs.

Unicom, I need you to patch me through to Bradley Talmadge ASAP. It's an

emergency. Roger that. Stand by.

Go ahead, Mr. Talmadge.

Frank, what's going on?

We're under armed attack here. I took out one of the terrorists, but there are

more. Not sure how many.

Parker, you said this was handled.

It was, bonehead. Whoever's crashing this party must have seen my fix -it job

and switched to plan B.

I'm with the princess.

I think she's the main target.

All right, you're with the princess, my ass.

Watch your language, Ramsey. There are ladies present.

Say hello to Nathan, your highness.

Hello, Nathan.

Frank, we can have a Delta team assembled and to you in 30 minutes.

Just be careful, Bradley. This is a hostage situation.

I don't want to get any bullet holes in my nice new suit.

Understood. Just try and hang on for half an hour.

Wish we had some more of that funky wine.

What the hell are you doing with a shortwave radio anyway?

It was my window to the world.

I could talk to anyone, anywhere, and pretend to be someone else.

I thought the little girls all pretended to be you.

Growing up in a royal family isn't our privilege in parties, Mr. Parker.

My mother died when I was eight, and there were no other children around

the servant's children.

I wasn't allowed to play with them.

My life was constant training for duty and responsibility.

This wedding isn't part of your duties?

My family is bankrupt.

So when my uncle introduced me to Prince Ramal... You saw dollar signs.

Is that the kind of duty they were training you for?

Marrying some guy you don't love just to keep the family out of hock?

I hear them.

The man with her is American.

The annoying fix -it man.

Kill them.

I know what it's like not having any money.

You okay?

Yes.

You know this, Joker?

No. Then we gotta move.

David.

David.

What's going on?

David's dead.

Damn it.

You said get down here now.

Attention, Mr. Parker.

I have a proposition for you.

I know you have the princess with you. Bring her to me now.

Do this, I will not have to kill your friend, Dr.

Ballard.

Or the lovely Dr. Vukovic.

You have three minutes, Mr. Parker.

I am still waiting, Mr. Parker.

I've got to give myself up. What now?

Your friends, my uncle, everyone, they'll die. You heard what he said.

said, I know a little something about hostage situations, and whether you give

in or not, they're probably going to kill everyone anyway.

It's my duty to protect my people. And it's my duty to protect you. Why, Mr.

Falcao? This is not your fight. Yeah, well, it is now. Semper Fi, baby.

not dead.

You're from a family of fighters, and so am I. We ain't going down without one

hell of a fight.

Here, hold this.

I've never met anyone like you. Feelings mutual, believe me.

All right.

Let's get this party started, huh?

You have one minute, Mr. Parker.

Here I am.

Where is the princess?

Somewhere safe.

Then your friend dies.

If she does, the only way you're getting out of here is in a body bag.

You're in no position to be threatening me, Mr. Parker.

Look, Dr. Zhivago, you seem like a practical man, so let's just bottom line

thing. We got a groom who's chasing every skirt on the continent, the uncle

the bride shoving her down the aisle to pay for his electric bill, a bride who's

only going along because she thinks that's what good little princesses do, a

room full of guests who only care about the free food, and an ex -mental patient

with an Uzi in his hand and a trigger finger is starting to get itchy.

So what do you say we all just pack up our samosas and go home, huh?

Well said, Mr. Parker.

But I've been to enough casinos to know a bluff when I hear one.

And I'm calling yours.

My boy.

Cover up. Get out of the way.

All right. Drop the gun, Chico.

Now we'll settle this like real men.

This is not fair.

Okay.

Damn it!

That hurt.

Now that's fair.

Did he break your tooth?

No, no, no. I think it's just loose.

Let me see. I need to see if you have any stitches.

Are you guys okay?

We're fine. Thank you.

Oh, go ahead. Say it.

What? Just say it, okay?

Ow, ow, ow.

What, that Mr. Wonderful didn't turn out to be so wonderful?

True gentlemen would never say that.

Nice,

Frank.

Lisette, please, you misunderstand my intentions. I understand perfectly.

But it does not matter anymore because I will not be participating in this

wedding. Lisette, our family, our two countries have an agreement.

Don't worry, she's too young to make this decision.

I was too young yesterday.

Today, I am not too young. Shall we?

Excuse us.

Lisette, as your guardian. Sir Guardian, you suck.

How do I look?

Like Prince Charming.

This way, please.

I'm up.

Any advice?

Don't speak.

Got it.

Once again, the eyes of the world are on the venerable castle d 'Arsay.

But this time it's not to witness a fairy tale romance.

This is a different kind of tale altogether.

Call it Lady and the Tramp, and the hero that indeed saved the day. Mr. Parker,

in the company of your friends and allies, please approach the crown.

For meritorious service, and for your noble protection and wise counsel, To

royal family of Saint -Simon, I hereby present this honor.

Kneel, please.

I therefore on this day bestow upon you the order of the crown of Saint -Simon,

and I do anoint you a royal knight of the realm.

From this day and... You shall be known as Sir Francis Bartholomew Parker.

Bartholomew?

Arise, Sir Francis.

For me?

Your Majesty?

Frank, wait.

Oh, that debt. Unbelievable.

Thank you for being so, so perfect.

You're welcome.

I got a sword.