Original subtitles

We have a device that can allow us to send one human being back in time.

President's moving. Get the football.

Okay. The football is now linked to the communications launch system satellite.

Has any president ever even looked in there?

All of them once got a box with a red button that could blow up the world.

Could you resist taking a peek?

Bill once told me he knew he was in Washington when he saw a man get up to

a speech not to say a word, and three men disagreed with him for the next hour

and a half.

But seriously, I have always known Bill Bradford to be a fair -minded,

conscientious, and loyal American, probably the best director the CIA has

had.

From his seven -year -ago appointment to this very night, he has transformed

that... sprawling and embattled agency into the well -oiled sea today.

So, um, what are you wearing?

Mr. Parker, this is no time for your childish idea of a joke.

Well, I just thought you'd be getting pretty bored right about now.

Aren't you going to some sort of an inane sporting event?

Marshal, how's your date with Mr. Continental?

Well, actually, someone had the sadistic idea of seating him next to the White

House press secretary.

I had to stop him from jamming an oyster fork through her hand.

of what Lincoln liked to refer to as the indispensable man.

I can think of no one else who deserves or... And he's going to cut the defense

budget by another 15 % next year.

Well, what's he going to spend it on?

Saving the tree slugs?

Oh, bye -bye.

It's that tight black number with those strappy things across the front.

Do svidaniya, Mr. Parker.

Sir, we're not scheduled to leave for another hour. I want to watch the end of

the Denver game. Sir.

Excuse me. The president's motorcade. Where is it? You just missed it.

Take care of yourself.

Thank you.

Taxi! Wait! Wait!

Take me to the White House, please.

What? You flag me down to go on the next block?

Hey!

Ah, no!

No, no!

No, no, no. What are you... Shoot, shoot, shoot.

Shoot, shoot. I can't believe this is happening.

Hey, stop that bloody bastard. Did he listen to me? No, I'm just a crazy

It's a sunroof. You idiot clown. I told you, swollen holes will not last all

night. What?

This is my fault from driving. You better send tow truck here right now.

Hey. You still owe me $6 .20.

DJ. What?

You heard me. I am going to cut you up into pieces and put you in a box like a

bucket of fast food chicken.

Hey, anybody seen Larry?

Damn, he's got the football.

What are you looking for, Matt?

No.

What's in the box?

Nothing.

There's got to be something worth something in there, man.

Son, I'm thinking like maybe diamonds or gold or something. Right.

Yo, let's go see Matt and Marie, man.

Come on, son.

Oh, come on. You're kidding me.

What the

hell is this? The end of the world?

Uh, quite possibly.

We will.

Every silo in America and more than 50 of our subs have just launched nuclear

missiles. Against who?

Everybody. Oh, boy, the Chinese are retaliating. So are the Russians.

What happened?

Somebody dropped the football.

This is over the game?

The nuclear football. The portable encryption device that allows the

to order a nuclear strike even if he's away from the White House. It goes

everywhere he goes. Less than three hours ago, the warrant officer got

from the president's team.

He's still AWOL.

It's quite possible this fell into the hands of the enemy. Yeah, but that thing

must have at least 100 pay cards.

And they were all activated as soon as the Secret Service found out the

was missing. The chances of someone cracking the launch code are 10 million

one. Which means we're dealing with a cryptological mastermind. So let's just

get in the sphere. There's not enough time to fire her up.

Thank God we built this place to withstand a nuclear attack.

All right, people, into the bunkers now.

Where's Olga?

In Washington with Nick.

Come on Frank, we gotta get below.

Come on, come on.

Nate and Olga will already be at the Excelsior Hotel when you get back in

One phone call and Nate will have a backup team make damn sure that nothing

happens to that briefcase.

We're going to try and land you as close to DC as we can. You're going to be

arriving the night the football disappears, so time is not going to be

side. When is it ever, Mallard?

Good luck, friend.

Locking assembly is now in place.

Locking assembly is now in place.

is going to disappear tonight while the president's at the Excelsior Hotel.

Wait a minute, Frank.

Nate and Olga should be there already.

Right, I'll take care of that end. Now, you better check with the NSA.

See if they're tracking any terrorists from the city.

Whoever wound up with the football in the last timeline knew how to use it.

We'll get right on it. Okay.

Senator Bill Bradford.

Not funny. Listen.

No.

Damn it.

Excuse me, the president's motorcade.

Where is it? You just missed him.

Oh.

Thank you.

Taxi. Wait.

Wait.

Take me to the White House, please. What?

You flagged me down.

I heard your cell phone during the president's toast.

I said to myself, that's the moment we have to meet.

Please don't remind me. That's not a moment that will go down fondly in my

memory book.

Well, it must have been an important call.

Well... Mr. Parker?

Sorry, pal, this dance is mine. What are you doing here?

You okay?

Yes, it's okay.

Why didn't you take my call? I thought you were on the base.

I was.

Oh, God, it's been a backstab.

Lousy timing, I know. What happened?

Ever heard of the nuclear football?

Yes, of course. We have one in Russia, too. Well, I just got fumbled. Where's

Ramsey? I don't know. He was around here somewhere.

What about the president?

I think he's already left the building.

Come on.

Who was that schmuck anyway?

You see a guy come out here, metal case, came to his breast?

Yeah, he was looking for the president's motorcade. He missed it by a couple

minutes. The president just forgot him?

You wouldn't believe the things people leave in hotels.

The guy caught a cowboy. Which company?

Blue Line, I think. Maybe he's okay.

Yeah, well, they didn't make it to the White House last time.

I have a car.

Great.

There's something going on here.

Excuse me. You didn't just pick up a guy from the Excelsior Hotel. He had a

metal case with him.

He's gone.

What do you mean he's gone?

He walked away. Does it look like I can drive him?

Mr. Parker, at this point, there's no indication whatsoever of foul play. So

let's just be logical here.

All right. Okay, okay.

I'm the man with the football.

What do I do?

Well, we're only a few blocks from the hotel.

Obviously, you go back to the hotel, call your superiors, tell them it's been

terrible mistake, and wait for them to bring you in.

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

What do you mean, stupid?

I'm an army officer with one of the highest responsibilities in the nation.

you think I'm going to, A, admit I'm some kind of idiot who got himself

separated from the pack, or, B, let the president look like an idiot for leaving

me here?

Okay, what do you do then, Mr. Football Man?

You shouldn't be too hard to miss in this neighborhood.

I can't believe anyone in his bright mind would walk through this

carrying a nuclear trigger.

Then we're leaving. I can't believe you'd run a green compact.

Stop. Back up.

What happened?

Who got the football?

A gang of three, I think.

They called one of them Boney. He had a bullet crease in his forehead.

He could have a concussion.

We have to get him to a hospital. Call an ambulance. We can't wait.

We can't just leave him. A headache's nothing compared to what's going to

if we don't get the football back in, I'll say, 97 minutes.

Yes, I need an ambulance at 10.

Where are we?

There are good news and bad news. We found the warrant officer, but the

football's gone.

We better get out an APB on some local bangers. Leader's name is Bone. He's got

a bullet crease across his forehead.

The NSA has changed the launch codes, Frank, and activated the football's

safeguards. Yeah, well, that doesn't actually make me feel any safer. They

the same thing in the last timeline.

We're also pulling in every known foreign agent operating in the area,

who might have a hostile interest in the device.

All right, I'm going to try and get a lead on that gang.

How many guys named Bone are going to be around here anyway?

The ambulance ought to be here any minute. You stay with Larry. Maybe they

drop you back at the hotel. See if you can find Ramsey. I will not.

Oh, come on, Olga. This is a rough neighborhood. It's no place for you.

What? You think I'm some sort of a hothouse flower?

Well, yeah.

I mean, don't get me wrong. You're great on your home turf, and you've had your

moments in the field, but this is the jungle, baby.

Oh, so you're doing this because you'd be so worried about me, because you care

so deeply.

Yes, Olga, because I care so deeply about you. You know what?

Forget it. You are not leaving me behind. I feel guilty enough about not

your stupid phone call. I will not also be made to feel like some little

sheltered prude who can't take care of herself.

Oh, God.

I'm standing on a person.

I'm just saying, you know, this could be like an expensive jewelry carrier. You

know, probably got like diamonds in there. That maybe is one of them FBI

settles.

Trolls a bunch of red powder all out in your face as soon as you open it up.

Sure.

Can't wash that stuff off no hour.

Who are you?

Excuse me, ma 'am.

Do you realize what that is you're talking on?

Hello?

Hello?

So, listen, Madam Marie, what I'm saying is, look, you're getting this at a

steal. You know, it's the best deal in town.

You know, so I'm thinking, uh, five blocks.

The... Okay, I'm done now. Okay, four.

Two. Two rocks.

Okay.

There's three of us, though.

Okay, okay, okay.

It's fine. It's cool.

Nice doing business with you.

Hello,

operator. Port Oak, France 80, please.

NSA.

What the hell is NSA?

It's the National Security Agency. Is it American?

Because, honey, you don't sound... Yes. Look, we're just looking for a Mr.

Bone. Yeah, I know. A -Bone. Ain't no Mr. Bone, though.

So, did you see him tonight?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He lives up on Fifth and High.

No, no, no. Eighth and New.

Eighth and High.

That was ballard. Someone just picked up the phone on the football.

The problem is, it's unprincipled.

No, no, no, no, no.

Thanks very much, fellas.

Appreciate it.

Yeah.

What now?

Three to one, huh?

They put the gun down.

Three to one, huh?

I'll take those odds. I was in a situation once against five guys. That

a little sticky, I admit.

What happened?

Well, I'm standing here with my gun pointed at you, aren't I?

Now, did I just hear you guys say something about getting ripped off?

I got to go.

No, no, no, Selma. I got to go.

Yes? It's me, Madam Marie.

Chico said there's a police stakeout down the block. He thinks they're

you. Probably one of those animal rights people reporting their goats again. I

don't need this.

One more arrest and bang, they're going to deport me.

Thank you.

Okay,

lady, open the door.

Police? I didn't do nothing.

No, we're not the police. We're the NSA.

The NBA?

I got a boy playing ball in jail.

No, ma 'am, the NSA.

National Security Agency?

Never heard of it.

What is that?

Oh, potion.

Love potion.

Maybe you could use some, huh?

No.

Look, where's the case you got from Bone?

You are not here about my gold.

No, we just need the case back.

I don't know nothing about no case.

Really?

We're not here to bust you, okay?

And I'm telling you, I ain't got no case.

All right.

Do you practice centuria?

I can see the future.

Do you want to know it? I already know the future. If I don't get that case

in the next 63 minutes, we're all going to go to hell in one very big

handbasket. The fate of this world is not in your hands.

It will be decided by an animal.

Someone with no reason or morality.

That's what I'm afraid of.

Before this night is true, you too will become an animal.

Someone is going to fall hopelessly in love with you.

Don't count on it.

Would you happen to know where the case went?

Hey!

Hey!

Hold it right there.

Look,

our IDs must have been stolen.

What's the NSA got to do with the madam here? We're looking for a very important

government briefcase.

You must have heard the APB, right?

What about me and my goat?

you. This is so sweet.

This has been the worst day of my life.

Looks to me like you need a new suitcase.

20 bucks.

Some kind of computer game?

What do you think Madame Marie meant by all that animal business?

This is clearly a metaphor. She obviously understood that the briefcase

contained some sort of a tool of mass destruction, and she was simply

postulating that whoever used it might be somehow less than human. Yeah, but

what about me becoming an animal?

Please, you don't need a psychic for that one.

Oh, well, now that's rich.

You get all bent out of shape when you think I'm calling you a brute, but you

have no problem whatsoever calling me some kind of pro -magnum brute?

No, no, no, don't think I don't appreciate your physical aggressiveness.

comes in handy tonight, for example. I just think a little more self -control

and a little less wild instinctual abandon would serve you infinitely

the long run, Mr. Parker.

Well, my instinctual abandon suits me just fine, thank you very much. Yes, and

I'm sure many women at rodeos and professional wrestling matches would

with you. Yeah, and what's wrong with professional wrestling?

Where's my patience?

a few blocks away from here.

Did you see a metal briefcase?

Nope. I took it.

What'd you do with it?

Twenty bucks.

I sold it to a nurse.

Wonderful. Thank you, Olga. Call the nurse's hospital.

She wasn't on her way to no hospital.

Well, where was she on her way to?

Twenty bucks.

I don't think that nurse was born at Nightingale.

You know what I mean?

Do you realize who we are?

We're the N -Ass Freakin' A's. We'll take this place out alive.

Exactly. So, you should give us that bottle of Petman snaps right there.

the N -Ass Freakin'. Tell me.

What's it stand for?

Thank you very much. Oh, man.

You've seen a nurse come in here.

Check the lap lounge.

Yeah, maybe I should handle this myself.

Just move. Right.

Have your fun. We're just trying to find your stripper. Did she have a metal

case with her? Yeah, but she left.

Well, did you get her address or a number, maybe?

I got a business card somewhere.

Could we see it, please?

She left a strip for it.

Whoa, are you sure you want to throw that punch? I have to. You better be

prepared to take on the defensive line of Penn State.

You're the football team.

First and second straight.

All right, I'm going to level it.

We're with the NSA. Now, that girl is carrying around something very

and she doesn't even know it.

We don't get it back.

The world is going to end tonight.

Well, it's certainly going to end forever. You get paid, Mom!

You guys get it? We're trying to save his stupid lives.

Fine.

But she still strives for it.

Wait!

How much time do we have?

44 minutes.

Okay, how many people died on the other side of the timeline?

Do you want a number?

For moral support.

Uh... How's it feeling yourself?

Music, please.

I can't do this. I had broken news about Mr.

Parker. The Bolshoi was interested.

This one's for humanity.

There's the prey. This is his.

Oh, that's not so bad. I... Hey!

I'll tell you if I stand.

Okay, okay. Get out of the car, man!

Man, that's just low. You're actually stealing a rental compact?

Why not? You did.

You did good back there. Oh, is that an apology?

All right. You're not a... Little sheltered prude?

I never actually said that, you know. Well, thinking it is bad enough.

How much time do we have?

25 minutes.

If you're here about the sublet, this really isn't a good time. No, no, no.

about the briefcase you picked up.

Oh, man.

I left it on the bus. I cannot catch a break today.

You see that window up there?

The one with the light on?

That is my slut ex -wife up there.

And she is with her new boyfriend.

And do you know where she met him? The gym. Do you believe that?

Well, I don't care how pumped your pecs are, Jim boy, because J .D. has a great

equalizer right here! No, no, no, no, no. For 50 cents.

Right.

Welcome to America, pal.

Thank you, Sam.

I could have started World War III.

Calm down, Cindy.

I could have nuked Detroit. My God, I could have nuked my mother. Cindy, deep

breaths. Now, can you remember which bus you took?

Number 12, downtown. Great. Can I use your phone? It's over there. Okay, I'll

check on the baby.

Hey! Drop the phone!

No, J .D.!

So, this is Jim Boy!

Buddy, this ain't the night.

No, it's not your night, that's for damn sure.

J .D., get the gun down now, you psycho. He's not Billy.

He's not?

Maybe you guys should hash this out some other time. Without firearms, I really

need to make this call. Don't you fool!

Now, you give her the phone, and you call Jim Boy.

And you tell him to get his steroid ankle band now!

No! No?

What is it with you people? I'm trying to save your miserable damn lives!

Watch it with that thing!

You know, in the last three hours, I've been up for six days straight trying to

keep this world from blowing up. And who cares? Nobody.

Aqualung wants 20 bucks. Brutal Lady wants to save her stupid goats.

And the woman in the next room thinks that I need to control my impulses. So

maybe she's right.

This thing's one big friggin' joke, isn't it?

But you know what?

I'm the only person on the planet who gets it.

So maybe the joke's on me, right? Well, I'm sick of it!

Just put the gun down.

You know, I don't even know why I'm doing this job.

Why don't I just let this whole thing go to hell?

Mr. Parker.

What?

I called the bus line.

I know where the football went.

What's the matter, Kiki? Can't you sleep?

How about a little midnight snack?

I got something special for you.

Oh, Kiki, no.

Oh, Kiki, no. Come on.

and play with it, but just until I finish my rounds.

One of the night attendants at the National Zoo got off the bus with a

said he took responsibility for it, and since the bus driver knew him as a

regular commuter, he said it'd be okay.

He doesn't sound like a terrorist to me.

Tonight I'm not so sure of anything.

How much time do we have?

No one's answering.

Watch your eyes.

All right,

Kiki, give me the cage.

Kiki's kind of having a stressful time right now. She's getting over rabies.

Let me try.

I don't think that's such a good idea. Got a better one?

Give me.

76. You're kidding. What? Just do it.

I think she

likes you.

Prophecy fulfilled, Mr. Parker.

Very funny, guys.

Why

so

quiet?

Processing reality shifts.

Oh? Yeah, you surprised me tonight. I thought you were going to come.

You're freaking me wrong.

I, on the other hand, behaved exactly like you knew I would. Hell, that voodoo

lady even predicted it.

I'm an animal.

You saved the world.

Yeah, well, still doesn't change the fact that I'm the love interest of a

depressed ape.

She even saw through to my true nature.

Hey, where the hell have you been all night?

Call me Nathan.

It was a delight to exchange views.

So, is that what you were doing, Miss Carranzi?

Changing views?

I guess that's what they call it in D .C. these days.

You know, I may be a lower primate, but I do believe that man is a dog.