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Dear Red Shoes, I don't keep a diary.
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Even this is difficult for me.
3
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:07,080
Not to tell you my story, but to write a
letter.
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00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,039
To write subjectively.
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00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,720
To try and express emotions as words.
6
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,420
You see, I was trained to repress
emotion.
7
00:02:14,940 --> 00:02:19,460
To think, behave, and account for my
actions with the barest minimum of
8
00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:23,740
But what I found out about myself
through this experience is that I'm
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quite good with words.
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00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:29,240
Pushed against the wall, I think I could
talk anybody into just about anything.
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00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:31,460
So it'll be good, Stella.
12
00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:35,300
Do you work out?
13
00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:39,460
Of course you do. I don't know a single
person in the city who doesn't go to the
14
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:40,460
gym.
15
00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:44,140
But maybe that's because I'm always
there, seven days a week, whenever I'm
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00:02:44,140 --> 00:02:45,140
working.
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00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:55,260
I love looking at men's bodies.
18
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:59,740
I mean, love looking at men's bodies.
19
00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:06,500
Biceps, torsos, hamstrings,
20
00:03:06,940 --> 00:03:08,440
abs.
21
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:16,300
And like 98 % of the faithful, I'm here
to check out and to
22
00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:17,300
be checked out.
23
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:44,590
There is, however, that 2 % of the
faithful who go to the gym simply to
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00:03:44,590 --> 00:03:45,590
out.
25
00:03:46,230 --> 00:03:47,870
The super dedicated.
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00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,830
The ones who never look at anyone else.
27
00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:52,870
Not even themselves.
28
00:03:57,030 --> 00:04:02,270
At the Westside Body Connection, that 2
% was a racquetball player.
29
00:04:03,230 --> 00:04:04,470
His name was Nick.
30
00:04:05,890 --> 00:04:07,170
Nick Willett.
31
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,580
That was all I knew about him.
32
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,480
He wasn't like anybody else in the gym.
33
00:04:16,260 --> 00:04:21,800
He was the only man in two years of
coming to the gym who never noticed me.
34
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:23,920
Never.
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00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:32,680
Three times a week, he'd show up at the
gym, beat somebody, and leave.
36
00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:47,320
And those eyes, those beautiful eyes.
37
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,540
He was an extraordinary being.
38
00:04:57,660 --> 00:05:02,140
To meet him, I had to employ
extraordinary means.
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00:05:13,390 --> 00:05:16,030
There was no way he wasn't going to
notice me tonight.
40
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:18,630
I'd already gone too far.
41
00:05:19,810 --> 00:05:21,110
I was committed.
42
00:05:22,430 --> 00:05:23,890
There was no turning back.
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00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:28,010
In for a penny, in for a pound.
44
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:34,850
Like my daddy used to say, anything
worth doing is worth doing right.
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00:05:46,919 --> 00:05:48,360
License and registration, please.
46
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,480
Did it change the speed limit here?
47
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:00,800
Nick Willard?
48
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,120
That's you?
49
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,380
Yes, ma 'am. Yes, officer.
50
00:06:05,820 --> 00:06:07,980
Would you step out of the car, please,
Mr. Willard?
51
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:12,280
Yes, ma 'am.
52
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:21,820
You know you ever broke into LA?
53
00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:25,260
No.
54
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:26,940
I didn't this morning.
55
00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:29,220
Step up to the curb, please.
56
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:30,960
I beg your pardon?
57
00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:32,380
Step up to the curb, please.
58
00:06:33,940 --> 00:06:35,780
I beg your pardon, officer. What for?
59
00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:49,300
Arms out at your side.
60
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:50,760
Head back, eyes closed.
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00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:53,360
Just the tip of your nose with your
right index finger.
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00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:00,720
Okay, Mr. Willard, I've seen enough.
Step over to the fence.
63
00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:03,180
Excuse me? Step over to the fence.
64
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:07,980
I think you owe me some sort of
explanation.
65
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,380
Put your hands up on the fence. Spread
your legs.
66
00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:18,420
What's the charge?
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00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:20,670
Driving with a broken taillight.
68
00:07:22,550 --> 00:07:24,350
Violation of vehicle code 24600.
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00:07:25,950 --> 00:07:29,190
You're risking me for a broken
taillight? Keep it forward, Mr. Willett.
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00:07:31,570 --> 00:07:32,950
Place your right hand behind your neck.
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00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:38,150
Now the left.
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00:07:40,230 --> 00:07:41,230
This is ridiculous.
73
00:07:43,310 --> 00:07:44,590
What the fuck is this?
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00:07:45,170 --> 00:07:47,270
You're digging yourself a hole here, Mr.
Willett.
75
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,640
I mean, you're arresting me for a
traffic misdemeanor?
76
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,760
Aren't you going to read me my rights?
77
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,220
Want to hear your rights?
78
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:11,720
You have the right to remain silent.
79
00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:28,240
I took him to an artist's loft in the
middle of the city.
80
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,180
A place we'd done a drug bust the night
before.
81
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,679
I know.
82
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,020
I must have been crazy.
83
00:08:35,799 --> 00:08:37,340
Putting my job on the line.
84
00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:39,240
Abusing the authority of my badge.
85
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:42,600
But I'd thought about it.
86
00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:45,180
This was the only way.
87
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,300
I have $200 in my wallet. Take it.
88
00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:51,200
Take my watch, whatever you want.
89
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,770
I don't know why I chose the place.
90
00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:02,770
Maybe because I felt it was the place he
belonged.
91
00:09:04,330 --> 00:09:06,430
I could see him there on opening night.
92
00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:09,510
With all those models.
93
00:09:11,270 --> 00:09:12,910
All those well -dressed people.
94
00:09:16,310 --> 00:09:17,970
And then there were the chairs.
95
00:09:19,570 --> 00:09:20,690
You like art, Nick?
96
00:09:22,550 --> 00:09:24,430
I don't know much about it, but...
97
00:09:25,770 --> 00:09:29,290
Lately, it's just gotten under my skin,
you know?
98
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:35,650
And there's a guy who spends $28 million
and builds some yellow umbrellas out in
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00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:36,609
the desert.
100
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,310
Take them down in three weeks.
101
00:09:39,290 --> 00:09:40,570
Can you imagine that?
102
00:09:42,210 --> 00:09:44,630
What's that compared to barber chairs?
103
00:09:45,290 --> 00:09:46,470
Gigs up, Costello.
104
00:09:47,410 --> 00:09:48,410
Gangster.
105
00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:23,860
one of those singing telegrams.
106
00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:25,700
Shhh.
107
00:10:30,140 --> 00:10:31,460
Rule number one.
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00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:35,120
I talk, you listen.
109
00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:40,300
My game.
110
00:10:41,860 --> 00:10:43,080
Play by the rules.
111
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:49,900
My rule.
112
00:10:59,790 --> 00:11:00,790
You look good, Nick.
113
00:11:01,470 --> 00:11:08,290
I mean, you always look good, but
tonight you look especially good.
114
00:11:13,850 --> 00:11:19,990
Do I know you?
115
00:11:23,430 --> 00:11:24,430
No.
116
00:11:25,150 --> 00:11:26,370
You don't know me.
117
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:48,160
You don't know me. I'm just a woman,
just like every other woman.
118
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:52,660
Why should you know me?
119
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,440
I've got to tell you, you don't strike
me as an average woman.
120
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,200
Thank you, Nick.
121
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,600
I appreciate you saying that.
122
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:12,340
That's why you're here.
123
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:18,300
I'm going to convince you that I'm not
an average woman.
124
00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:22,980
Aren't you even going to ask me my name?
125
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,520
McCabe.
126
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:26,900
It's on your badge.
127
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,140
So, you do notice things.
128
00:12:34,860 --> 00:12:36,560
How about remembering things?
129
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,700
Would you remember my first name if I
told it to you?
130
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,400
It's office.
131
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:44,040
Isn't it?
132
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,580
My friends call me Lynn.
133
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,540
Aren't you worried about me turning you
in, Lynn?
134
00:13:13,550 --> 00:13:16,130
Turn me in, Nick, if you want to.
135
00:13:18,970 --> 00:13:22,750
But I don't think you want to.
136
00:13:25,790 --> 00:13:26,990
Think of the humiliation.
137
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:32,970
Wouldn't do your career much good now,
would it, Nick?
138
00:14:00,910 --> 00:14:01,910
You look like a lawyer.
139
00:14:10,470 --> 00:14:11,530
Why the blindfold?
140
00:14:13,690 --> 00:14:18,710
Because, Nick, beneath this uniform,
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00:14:19,010 --> 00:14:23,770
you may not like what you see.
142
00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:27,090
Then again, where...
143
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,820
Now, you see, Nick, you made it
perfectly clear.
144
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,580
I'm not up to standard.
145
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:45,480
When was that?
146
00:14:48,380 --> 00:14:49,380
Every day.
147
00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:52,420
Five days a week.
148
00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:54,600
The past two years.
149
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,300
Working out at the same gym.
150
00:15:02,670 --> 00:15:04,270
Never once noticed me.
151
00:15:06,570 --> 00:15:07,570
Not a nod.
152
00:15:10,570 --> 00:15:11,570
Not a hello.
153
00:15:13,770 --> 00:15:16,350
You didn't even recognize me when I
pulled you over.
154
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,970
I go to the gym to play racquetball, not
to flirt.
155
00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:26,950
So, where do you do your flirting, Nick?
156
00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:29,230
I don't.
157
00:15:30,890 --> 00:15:31,890
I work.
158
00:15:33,710 --> 00:15:34,710
I work out.
159
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:36,810
And I work.
160
00:15:37,390 --> 00:15:40,370
Do you work with the same intensity that
you play racquetball?
161
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,070
Put it this way.
162
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:45,150
I never lose.
163
00:15:48,770 --> 00:15:49,770
Really?
164
00:15:51,190 --> 00:15:53,010
Do you make love with the same
intensity?
165
00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:56,670
You know, I've always wondered if it's
the same thing.
166
00:15:58,330 --> 00:16:00,450
Damn it, I'd take it to say...
167
00:16:02,350 --> 00:16:03,410
Run a marathon.
168
00:16:04,390 --> 00:16:06,090
Play two hours of racquetball.
169
00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:10,330
Stay in power in bed.
170
00:16:24,910 --> 00:16:26,510
I used to run long distance.
171
00:16:28,690 --> 00:16:30,130
But it's hard on a woman.
172
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:32,740
It affects your metabolism.
173
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:39,240
Sometimes women's bodies are pleasing.
174
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:44,600
So I've heard.
175
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,780
What else have you heard about women,
Nick?
176
00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:53,180
What else do you know?
177
00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:59,100
Do you know how attractive you are to
them?
178
00:17:01,390 --> 00:17:04,349
You should hear what they say about you
in the women's locker room.
179
00:17:06,490 --> 00:17:08,410
You should hear their fantasies.
180
00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:13,550
I'd like to hear your fantasies, Nick.
181
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:18,010
Do you ever fantasize about women in
uniform?
182
00:17:22,690 --> 00:17:23,690
Candy stripe.
183
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,589
I was having my tonsils out.
184
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:32,080
No, Nick, I mean, don't you like to play
dress -up?
185
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:36,220
I do. I do it all the time.
186
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:44,560
Some men really understand what it's
like to play dress -up.
187
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,140
My father did.
188
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,400
He was a sergeant major in the Marine
Corps.
189
00:18:07,110 --> 00:18:08,110
You should have been a boy.
190
00:18:10,650 --> 00:18:11,650
Lynn.
191
00:18:13,390 --> 00:18:14,830
I'm glad you're not a boy.
192
00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:21,930
How glad, Nick?
193
00:18:27,850 --> 00:18:28,930
Not glad enough.
194
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:32,510
Yet.
195
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:57,640
You're really good friends.
196
00:19:59,260 --> 00:20:00,660
What do they call you?
197
00:20:06,060 --> 00:20:08,500
You can call me Linny, Nick.
198
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:09,740
No.
199
00:20:11,020 --> 00:20:14,940
You're really good friends.
200
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,020
Mona.
201
00:20:28,490 --> 00:20:29,690
My real name's Mona.
202
00:20:32,150 --> 00:20:33,150
Mona.
203
00:20:36,130 --> 00:20:37,130
Lynn.
204
00:20:41,090 --> 00:20:42,090
McCabe.
205
00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:45,970
The
206
00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:52,910
question is,
207
00:20:53,050 --> 00:20:57,630
do you believe in safe sex?
208
00:21:00,970 --> 00:21:01,970
I do.
209
00:21:03,150 --> 00:21:07,850
In this day and age, it would be
irresponsible not to. Don't you think?
210
00:21:09,450 --> 00:21:16,210
I spent over 45 minutes in the drugstore
today trying to decide which brand to
211
00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:17,210
buy.
212
00:21:18,530 --> 00:21:20,610
I spoke with both pharmacists.
213
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:27,430
All those colors.
214
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:39,720
I hope the one I chose doesn't
disappoint you.
215
00:22:09,750 --> 00:22:10,950
Listen. Mona.
216
00:22:12,630 --> 00:22:13,630
Good.
217
00:22:14,410 --> 00:22:17,630
That's... That's good, Nick.
218
00:22:17,950 --> 00:22:19,210
That's very good.
219
00:22:20,810 --> 00:22:27,590
On a scale from 1 to 10, now I'd say I,
uh, gained
220
00:22:27,590 --> 00:22:28,590
a few points.
221
00:22:42,890 --> 00:22:43,890
All set.
222
00:22:47,970 --> 00:22:52,450
And now, we wait.
223
00:22:56,770 --> 00:22:57,770
Wait for what?
224
00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:05,450
Rule number two.
225
00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:19,060
We wait for you to ask me to make love
to you.
226
00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:25,780
I don't do anything unless you ask me
to.
227
00:23:33,060 --> 00:23:34,900
You know anything about men?
228
00:23:36,380 --> 00:23:39,480
You know that my temporary physical
condition...
229
00:23:42,100 --> 00:23:44,580
doesn't necessarily mean that I want to
make love to you.
230
00:23:46,340 --> 00:23:53,120
My cleaning lady, my bank teller, my
Aunt Louise, all give
231
00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:54,120
me hard -ons.
232
00:23:56,620 --> 00:23:58,360
Doesn't mean I want to make love to
them.
233
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,410
Tell me about your cleaning lady.
234
00:24:15,090 --> 00:24:16,630
Your big teller.
235
00:24:17,930 --> 00:24:18,930
Aunt Louise.
236
00:24:20,450 --> 00:24:22,710
They've never been this close to you.
237
00:24:46,730 --> 00:24:47,730
Stand still.
238
00:25:27,180 --> 00:25:29,000
You broke the rules, Officer McCabe.
239
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:31,640
Who gives a fuck?
240
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,360
I hope you enjoyed yourself.
241
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,040
Get involved with me.
242
00:25:45,660 --> 00:25:47,260
You surrendered to me.
243
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,020
Your every thought.
244
00:26:04,820 --> 00:26:07,200
All of it.
245
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,160
They belong to me.
246
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:13,020
Started out as a battle, quickly
escalated into a war.
247
00:27:14,700 --> 00:27:16,660
Neither of us willing to give up
control.
248
00:27:19,220 --> 00:27:22,140
As soon as we stopped making love, we'd
start again.
249
00:27:23,180 --> 00:27:27,240
Over and over and over again.
250
00:27:28,060 --> 00:27:34,140
Until eventually, mister, I'd go to the
gym to work out, not to flirt.
251
00:27:34,700 --> 00:27:35,740
Started to crack.
252
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:38,300
To a point where...
253
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:42,980
I actually think he began to like me.
254
00:27:45,620 --> 00:27:46,060
Listen
255
00:27:46,060 --> 00:28:00,640
to
256
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:07,260
me, tough guy. I'm tired of this
bullshit.
257
00:28:10,020 --> 00:28:11,080
It's been a month now.
258
00:28:12,170 --> 00:28:13,430
back to work. Oh, shit.
259
00:28:13,710 --> 00:28:16,590
From now on, we're going to have a
normal relationship, you and me.
260
00:28:16,790 --> 00:28:17,609
Oh, shit.
261
00:28:17,610 --> 00:28:21,070
I'm going to buy you lingerie and a
dress and a car, anything you want. I'm
262
00:28:21,070 --> 00:28:23,910
going to take you to dinner. I'm going
to pay for it. Oh, shit. We're going to
263
00:28:23,910 --> 00:28:27,030
go to bed at 11 like normal fucking
people and watch the fucking news.
264
00:28:27,330 --> 00:28:28,390
And we're going to go to Ohio.
265
00:28:28,850 --> 00:28:31,830
And I'm going to meet your grandma. And
she's going to like me. And I'm going to
266
00:28:31,830 --> 00:28:32,830
like her.
267
00:28:35,370 --> 00:28:38,930
Just like normal, normal people.
268
00:29:09,710 --> 00:29:12,550
Like my daddy said, play to win.
269
00:29:13,650 --> 00:29:19,210
And never, ever give up control.
270
00:29:20,730 --> 00:29:21,890
Never give up control.
271
00:29:23,050 --> 00:29:24,430
Never give up control.
272
00:29:25,350 --> 00:29:26,650
Maybe for a little while.
273
00:29:27,470 --> 00:29:29,250
But in the end, somebody's gonna lose.
274
00:29:30,750 --> 00:29:32,730
And the harder you play, the harder you
fall.
275
00:29:35,250 --> 00:29:37,030
But at least they got it out in the
open.
276
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:39,360
At least they're facing it head on.
277
00:29:48,220 --> 00:29:53,140
So, tell me, Stella, what do you do to
your flirting?
19502
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