Original subtitles

[sizzling]

# [rock]

# This world is taking us too far #

# I never remember this part of town #

# It used to be sunny and so clear #

# All my days are turning into nights now #

# Bring a plastic arm into my front door #

# I'm so bored I don't know where to go now #

# Maybe you can show me something #

[kisses] Bye.

I fucking hate those cunts.

Yeah, me too.

Maybe I should've gone to Cabo.

I've never even heard of that island.

Because it's not an island, shit flake.

Hey, you two better work out your shit,

'cause I'm not gonna let you ruin my weekend.

Island or not, I'm sure it's better than this shithole.

Those skanks will probably end up gang raped

and left for dead in a dumpster somewhere.

Yeah, God willing.

I know some frat guys who are always up for a good gang bang.

Slut. -You know it.

# All my days are turning into nights now #

Gang rape. Gone's the faith.

[laughing] Give it to me now.

Hi, Amy.

[Girls] Hi, Amy.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did we catch you at a bad time?

You probably want some privacy with your porn.

It's not pornography. It's for my Anatomy 404 class.

All I see is dirty pictures.

Is that a cock?

It's called a phallus.

Yeah, that's a cock, all right.

So is that why you wanna be a doctor?

So you can look at people's naughty bits? [chuckles]

Wow. This guy is really packing.

Can I get his number, Ames?

I'm sure Pam still has it on her palm from last night.

[All laughing]

Speaking of dick,

has anyone seen the new substitute cook?

[Both] Mm-mmm.

Mm-mmm.

Well, I just hope he's not like all the other guys

we get around here: prude. [All laugh]

Men are idiots.

All I need is my beaver whistle to keep me satisfied.

[smack] Hey!

How did cave women ever get off without them?

I think they used sticks.

Yeah, sticks!

Come on, ladies.

We've got some serious smoking to do.

[Girls] Ooh. [mouths word]

Hey, listen.

If you need any help studying, just ask, okay?

Thanks. I'll keep that in mind.

[sighs]

[screams] Oh, God.

Okay!

Ow!

I'm such a klutz. Okay.

Thank you.

So, you must be filling in for the weekend.

Um...where would you like these?

Oh, God.

What do you have in here, a body or something?

Wow, you must be some cook.

I am cook.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I know, I could hurt myself.

So, where are you from?

I'm from Arizona.

And you are, um, from...

Oh, God, this is getting us nowhere.

Okay.

I am from here, Arizona.

And you are from-- Hungary.

No, no, I'm not hungry, thank you.

Arizona.

Hungary.

Oh, you're from Hungary. Okay, I get it.

[giggling]

Wait a second. You're the Hungary cook?

That's a good one.

All right. Well, um, I guess I should be going.

So I'll, um, see you later.

Okay.

Okay.

[distant laughing]

She's so lame.

Hiya.

What you doin'?

Um, stuff.

I have a lot of things to prepare

for the Garden of Eden Club.

We're going downtown to feed the homeless next week.

That's nice.

I'm bored.

So did you wanna do something later?

Why didn't you go to Cabo?

I don't know.

Don't think it would've been much fun.

Why didn't you go?

I told you. I'm busy.

Now, your crosses look crooked.

I-- Don't. Don't touch that.

Still isn't straight.

You know, you just need to chill out.

You're kinda tense.

I told you I have a lot of work to do.

The Lord's work is never done.

Doesn't God even take a break?

Isn't that what the Sabbath is for?

Wait. Do you study the Bible?

Oh my God, every night.

Yeah. It's right under my bed where I fuck the priest.

Yeah, it was, like, a totally religious experience,

him putting his resurrections in my holiest of holies.

Have you been tongue baptized yet?

Oh. Can you please go now?

Okay. But if you wanna take a break,

remember, my door's always open.

[screams]

Christ, you scared me.

Finally, someone around here with a little culture.

It is unbelievable how few people in this country

have an understanding of art.

It must be different where you're from.

Oh.

He's my favorite.

I am cook.

# [rock on headphones]

[sigh] I wish I was in Cabo.

Maybe if you click your heels together.

Huh?

Forget it.

Don't you wish you were in Cabo with the other sisters?

Not really.

You know I have a lot of studying to do.

Ugh. Study study study.

All you ever do is read those stupid books.

Not all of us can afford to get away for the weekend.

Besides, it wouldn't hurt you to crack open a book once in a while.

Ugh. God!

Can't you ever get your mind off of school for one second?

I'm sorry, Bunny, but I've gotta cram

if I'm gonna be ready for midterms.

The only thing you need to cram is a big cock in your box.

You need a boyfriend. [laughs]

It sounds like a child's toy.

Okay, girls, let's all play cock in your box.

Make jokes now,

but if you don't get some action soon,

your well's gonna run dry.

Please. Just because my ass doesn't have an open-door policy

does not mean I'm going to shrivel up.

You're just jealous

because I have a killer ass.

Oh, please.

I've seen tighter.

Oh, take that back. I like my ass.

So do all the boys. You're gonna get it.

[laughing]

[laughing]

God, I love smoking weed.

[laughs]

Yep. I loves me the good shit.

I think I've had enough.

No one likes a quitter.

Yeah. Quitters never win.

Whatever. This is like Lilith Fair in here.

[laughs] Do you guys wanna invite some guys over?

Brooke has a mustache.

That's kind of like being with a guy.

[all laugh] I do not!

Yeah, you do. Bitch.

[laughing] Oh.

You have to admit, though,

you had one when you rimmed your English professor.

Well, I was gonna fail the class.

Why the fuck do you wanna go hang out with those frat guys, anyway?

You know all they wanna do is fuck you.

I like to fuck guys.

Is there something wrong with that?

So why don't you just go and fuck 'em?

Come party with us or get the fuck out of here.

Come on. Party with us.

You know you want to.

All the cool kids are doing it.

What's up? I thought whores were into experimenting.

I'm going to the frat house for a cock run.

Good riddance, cunt.

Go fuck yourself, dyke.

Later I will, and I'll be thinking of you.

I'll be thinking of you too, Michelle!

Seriously, shut the fuck up.

[gasps] Oh, it's you.

I have the munchies.

Do you know munchies?

Oh.

Okay.

You're kinda cute for an older man.

You want a blowjob?

Suit yourself.

You're the strong, silent type.

I like that.

What else can those hands do?

Come on.

If you put that knife down,

I'll let you do

whatever you want with me.

Sensitive about your toys, aren't you?

Then what would you do if I did this?

[growls]

I would so, like, rock your world.

[laughs]

Are you coming on to me? [laughing]

Oh, come on. Don't be shy.

I won't bite.

Maybe just a little.

[gasps]

[screams]

# Crystal freak # # Yeah #

Hungry.

Mm. Smells good.

Smells kind of fishy if you ask me.

No, Amy, that's just you.

Shut up, Pam.

I didn't say anything, dirty slut.

Settle down, children.

What the fuck crawled up your ass and died?

[laughing]

[Pam] Give me the wine.

I'm starving.

[Cook] Okay! Ha-ha!

[Girls] Ooh.

Mmm. - Finally.

Ah.

[Girls, laughing] Wow.

Mmm. [Girls] - Mmm.

Okay. [chatter]

[Cook] Oh!

[Girls] Ooh.

I love sloppy joes.

Looks good.

Did any of you guys tell him that I don't eat meat?

[Girl] Actually, it's made from aborted fetuses.

Leave her alone.

[Girl] It's really juicy.

[Girl #2] It's good.

These are pretty good.

Mm. Meaty.

Delicious! Mmm!

So good.

You should try it.

So fucking good.

Oh, my God.

Yum.

[Girls] Mmm.

[Girls] So good.

Yummy to my tummy.

I haven't had sloppy joes since I was six.

Do you think he'll make bug juice for breakfast?

I think Anastasia's a dyke. - What?

You saw the way she looked at Kristen.

That is exactly the same look I gave Orlando Bloom.

When did you see him?

When we were out last night.

We? - Me and my pocket rocket.

You're sick. - Like I haven't caught you before.

You coming?

No, I think I'm gonna help the cook clean up.

Please. Like you're fooling anybody.

What are you talking about?

You want a piece of that ass for dessert.

Give me a break, Bunny.

He doesn't even speak English.

Since when is there a language requirement

to get into your pants?

Oh, that must be the oral part of the exam.

I'll see you later.

Or not.

[Girls laughing]

I fucking love this movie.

Yeah, it fucking rocks.

Oh. Are you worried about Michelle?

She's a bitch. - Right. A bitch.

She said she was hanging out with those frat guys.

Yeah, I know, but--

What do you see in that twat anyway?

I'm just a little worried about her.

Me too.

Yeah, right. You just want to fuck her.

What are you talking about?

Stop being such a pussy and admit it.

What about you?

I'm not a dyke, dyke. - You are such a whore.

That's right, bitch.

Give me a buck and I'll give you a fuck.

Fuck for a buck. [laughs]

Oh! Ow!

# [country on radio]

I thought you could use some help.

Hmm.

Give me that shit.

Think I'm gonna go find Michelle,

'cause I'm getting bored of you two.

Oh, no!

What do you want to do?

You guys know what body shots are?

Mm-mmm. - Un-unh.

Autumn, go get some limes. I'll grab the tequila.

And, Brooke, you take off your shirt.

Okay.

I have no idea what you just said.

But it sounded sweet.

Okay, class,

after rounding up the necessary ingredients,

you need to rub the lime

across your partner's desired body part.

Then comes the salt.

The lime makes the salt stick, see?

Huh.

Hit me, babe.

[laughing]

Down the hatch.

So tell me again why I had to take my top off.

'Cause she's a dyke. [laughs] - 'Cause I'm a dyke.

[gasps]

Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

You were having another nightmare.

Do you remember what it was about?

I think some lunatic was chasing me with a knife.

You know, you should really have that checked out.

My mom could recommend a great shrink.

Thanks, but I think I'm just nervous about my Biology midterm.

Ugh, I don't feel well.

Maybe it was something you ate.

# [whistling]

Oh, good morning.

Okay.

You seem to be in a very good mood this morning.

I'm sorry. I don't follow.

You are so sweet.

I'm sorry. I don't follow.

There's just something about you that's so charming.

Thank you.

Good morning.

Would you like a spanking for breakfast? - Cut it out.

Not until you tell me what you want.

I don't want anything from you.

[Autumn] Good morning.

So...who do you have to blow to get something to eat around here?

I don't know.

[sighs]

I am so bushed.

Funny, I don't remember ordering whine for breakfast.

Eat me. - Tempting.

Okay!

[chuckling]

[Girls] Ooh.

Wow. - Wow.

That's delicious food.

Looks good. I'm so hungry.

Thank you.

Mmm.

This is really good grub.

What is it?

I think it's corned beef hash.

It doesn't look like corned beef.

I can't eat that.

Tastes good, whatever it is.

Hey, have either of you seen Michelle?

Mm-mmm. - Mm-mmm.

I told you she'd bail, dude.

Hey! Where do you think you're going?

Yeah, what the fuck? Get your skinny ass in here.

[sighs]

I'm just here to tutor Bunny and I'm running late.

Bunny, your boyfriend's here.

Our relationship is strictly professional.

Oh, that's too bad.

Really? - She told me she has the hots for you.

Really? - Oh, yeah.

[snickering]

[Girls laughing]

Um, let's not let that become a distraction, you know,

because...we got a lot of work to do.

Wait, wait, wait. Try this.

What is it?

You tell us what it is.

Yeah, tell us what it is.

No, thanks. I'm not hungry.

If you can tell me what it is,

I'll let you touch my tits.

Yeah, touch her tits!

Ugh.

Mmm.

Mmm. It tastes like chicken.

Get the hell away from me.

What was that for?

I don't let just anyone touch my tits.

Don't touch the tits. God.

Well, okay.

If you ladies will excuse me, I've gotta go.

Whatever.

So, did you rub skin with the cook last night?

No. I told you, I just wanted to help him clean up.

Oh, right. Silly me.

He tries to talk to me, but he barely speaks a word of English.

I bet he speaks one language you can understand.

The universal language of love.

[knocking on door]

Who is it?

Professor Lance, here for your lesson.

[whispers] God, I'm so not here. Tell him I'm gone.

Come on. He likes you.

Good morning, Amy. - Hi, Lance. How's the thesis coming?

Good. Good.

Wow.

Excuse me.

You said that out loud. [pats]

Thanks. Sorry. Hey, Bunny.

You're a little early, Lance. I'm not even done with my workout.

I thought I'd come by a little early

so we could...

hang out,

shoot the breeze or whatever.

Yeah. See, the thing is, Lance,

we're not really friends.

Oh.

I mean, I really appreciate the help you give me with my homework,

but let's just leave it at that, okay?

You know, just, like, keep it professional.

Right, of course.

Just keep it professional.

Totally.

Right.

Well, as long as you're here, let's just get it over with, okay?

# [guitar]

[Man singing] # Are you there maybe #

# It's all I need to know #

# It's all I need #

# We've changed lately #

# Walking around like you're covering tracks in the snow #

# What do I know? #

Would you like to come in?

No. Listen.

I just wanna know why you keep picking on me.

Because you've been a very bad girl.

What?

I think you need a spanking.

You're not listening to me.

I always listen.

You're just a dirty little liar.

I am not.

Want me to prove it?

Now, you dirty liar, tell me

you didn't like that.

Tell me that wasn't the best kiss

you've ever had.

[crying]

With-- With the R.

Like, do you know how to multiply that?

Well, what's the difference between five times three and three times five?

Well-- [knocking on door]

Come in.

Hey.

Hey, what's up?

Have either of you guys seen Michelle?

No, why?

She's been missing, like, all night.

Oh, well, it's still early. She'll come back.

Yeah, I guess.

All right, well, thanks. Bye. [mouths words]

What are you staring at?

I'm-- Nothing.

Nothing. I was just-- I was--

Look, you're still not getting it.

Haven't you been using the cheat sheet that I gave you?

I kinda threw it out by accident.

Oh, that's cool, Buns.

You know I hate it when you call me that.

Snap out of it, Einstein!

We've got a lot of work to do.

I'm doing it. I'm just getting back to work here.

Jeez.

Hey. What's up?

Oh? That's nice.

What are you reading?

Listen! - You never answered my question.

Listen to me.

No. You listen to me.

I asked you a question.

What question, God damn it?

I asked you if that wasn't the best kiss

you ever had.

I'm not gay, all right?

Then why can't you answer the question?

Come back when you're ready.

Ooh! That didn't sound good.

Lovers' quarrel. Who?

Kristen and Anastasia.

Do you think they're, like...

Just look at the way Anastasia eyes Kristen.

And Kristen, that girl doesn't know what she wants.

Boy.

Who knew you could read people so well?

See?

I'm not just good with numbers.

Oh, boy, do I stink!

Can we take a break?

Sure. - This math stuff is so hard.

Seriously, it gives me a migraine.

Just hang out here while I take a shower, okay?

Like I'd rather be anywhere else.

Did you say something? - No.

You wanna come scrub my back?

I, um... Sure, yeah.

Just kidding, silly.

I'll be right back.

What's with you, Frank?

Come on, man, you're gonna get us kicked out of here.

She was joking. We're not going into her special place yet.

Everything's gotta be just right when we make our move, okay?

We'll figure this chick out sooner or later.

Good? Okay, let's shake on it.

Easy. There you go, buddy.

I just have one final thing to say to you.

Let's not make another scene in the hallway.

I'm not a lesbian.

I'll never be a lesbian.

You could've fooled me.

But--

You kissed me.

That was to show you that there's more to life

than what they teach you in Bible Studies.

Everything you've been taught,

everything you've read,

tells you that what I just did was wrong.

Didn't feel wrong, though, did it?

Well-- - Don't answer.

You wanna know what I see?

I see a beautiful,

sexy, intelligent woman

who's held down by her convictions.

I wanna free your soul.

How would you do that?

I'm gonna whip you.

I'm gonna lick you

up and down

and spank you.

Please stop.

I'm gonna stroke your soul

and nibble away at your emotion.

I have to go.

You'll be back.

They always come back.

Friend.

Close. One more time. Listen closely.

Friend.

Ffffriend.

Very good. Good job.

Friend.

[Both] Okay.

Okay, well, it's getting late,

and you probably need to start getting dinner ready.

So...I'll see you later.

Okay. Okay.

[Girls] Mmm. So good.

Good job. Really good.

Hey, where's Kristen? - Where do you think?

She's with Anastasia.

Ass to ass, baby. [All laugh]

Wait, wait, wait.

I think we should thank the cook for this wonderful meal.

Here's to the best meals we've had in this house

since...

Well, here's to the best meals we've ever had in this house.

[Girls] Yeah, cheers.

I'm tired of this shit.

Now what's wrong?

Michelle's missing, and neither of you give a shit.

Fuck. Here we go again.

Is that how you would act if it was me?

No. If it was you,

I probably wouldn't even notice you were gone.

Well, I'm not just gonna sit here and do nothing.

She could've been killed by an axe murderer.

Okay, now you're being paranoid.

I can't-- I can't believe you guys!

So fucking do something, Autumn.

No one's stopping you.

I will.

Right after this one hit.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Great.

My two girls are gone and I'm stuck with you.

Madame Tourettes.

Eat me. - No, thanks, I already flossed.

It's about time we got rid of the dead weight.

We have half a bag of pot,

a bottle of tequila,

and some acid left.

What the fuck do we need them for?

We have some acid left? - Uh, yeah.

We have enough shit to party like rock stars.

You're right. Fuck her.

Fuck 'em.

Hello?

Okay. Hi.

Have you seen my friend Michelle?

Michelle? She's a girl.

You know, a girl?

Fucking foreigners.

Okay. [whirring]

Okay what?

For fuck's sake, you stupid Hungarian,

will you speak English? [blender stops]

Michelle?

[screams]

[screaming continues]

[Cook screams]

[Both screaming]

Okay!

[screams]

[squeals] Shh.

Shh.

[phone rings]

Hey, Mom.

Mom, hold on.

I have a bad connection. I'm moving to another room.

# [rock on headphones]

Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy.

Here you go. Thank you.

Here's yours.

Oh, I should so be studying right now.

Let's do this.

Cheers. - Cheers.

I think I'm starting to feel dizzy.

Ames, you promised me we would have fun this weekend.

Do it.

Yeah!

Five.

All right, Bunny.

Okay, please be an easy one. Please be an easy one.

What actor in The Terminator said the line, "I'll be back"?

Uh... - Oh, that's way too easy. Too easy!

Wait, wait, wait. Shut up. I think I know this one.

Jude Law.

What?

I'm sorry, Bunny, Arnold Schwarzenegger said it.

Not again. These are so hard.

My sweet Buns is so wasted. Here.

I am not, silly goose.

And don't call me Buns.

Okay, come on, Lance, it's your turn.

My turn.

Lance is rolling, coming out.

Gonna win. Six! Yes!

Six.

'Kay. Comedy.

Yes! Comedy. I'm a master at comedy. Awesome.

Here is the question.

What 1984 movie had the line,

"I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek"?

Ha-ha. It's impossible.

Sixteen Candles.

[Bunny] Is that right? - Correct.

Oh my God, you suck, Sir Lance-a-little!

I reek of awesomeness is what I do.

You reek of something. - How do you know so much about movies?

Friday and Saturdays, movie marathon.

That's how.

Loser.

You need to get out more.

Just a little bit.

You know what you wanted. - Mm-hmm.

You came in for it, right? - Yeah.

Good little Christian girl. - Yeah.

You've been very naughty, slave.

You must be punished.

Do you hear me?

Yes.

Yes what?

Yes, mistress.

That's right.

And if you forget it,

I'm gonna take it out on your ass.

Yes, Mistress Anastasia.

Every bad girl needs to learn a lesson,

and you're gonna learn

the consequences of disobedience.

Mm-hmm.

[gasp]

Oh.

What the hell are you doing, Bunny?

Nothing. I swear. I just heard some noises.

Nothing in my room concerns you, Bunny.

So don't fucking come in here again.

[crying]

Please let me go.

I think this was a mistake.

It's okay.

No one is gonna bother us again.

Something that feels this good

can't be bad, right?

What are you doing?

I'm afraid of the dark.

# [rock]

# Up all night wasting time #

# We're just tryin' to feel all right #

# Thinking up a party's line #

# And you know what dreams you'll find #

# You better take a step back #

# 'Cause we're moving on #

# And gone, gone #

# We're going all the way #

# Yeah #

# I said we're going all the way #

[smack] [gasps]

Oh.

Ah!

Oh.

I'm getting a little hungry.

Right now?

Have you ever had chocolate syrup licked off of you before?

I don't think that's a good idea, mistress.

Quiet, slave.

Ah, here it is.

Damn.

I'll be right back.

Please don't leave me alone.

Quiet. And when I get back,

I'm gonna give you a tongue-lashing you won't soon forget.

Wait. I've--

Chug it. Drink it. [Bunny] -Chug, chug, chug.

[Bunny] Ew, ew! Oh, gross.

Oh, my God.

Wow, that's some good shit.

What?

I don't think we've ever heard you curse.

[imitating Bunny]

Don't know me very well, do you?

Don't know me very well, do you?

Okay. Horror/Sci-fi.

Oh, I'm great at that.

[burps] I think. [Girls] - Ew.

What is the complete title

of the fourth Friday the 13th movie?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I know this!

I know this one! [Lance] Shh, shh!

I do. I know this.

Shh, shh, shh. - I know this one!

Wait a minute. I'm thinking. Wait, wait, I'm thinking.

Come on!

Shut up! Shh. I'm concentrating. It's--

[Amy] Time's up! - Wait a minute! Oh!

Friday the 13th: Final Chapter!

Is that your final answer?

Yes.

Oh, I knew that one!

So, silly Buns--

Wait. Was the fourth one the one where she's in the kitchen...

Uh-huh. - ...and she-- she gets hungry,

Yeah. [laughs] - and she goes down to the kitchen,

and she goes to the refrigerator, and she opens the door,

Right, right. - and this head is just staring at her?

[laughs] [Woman] - Really.

[glass shattering]

I remember! And then-- And then she turns around, and--

Jason's right there, and of course he's, like, all bloodied up?

[woman screams] [woman laughs]

You scared me.

What the hell are you doing in here, anyways?

Anyhow...do you know where the chocolate sauce is?

There wasn't any in the fridge.

Hmm? [chuckles] - Damn.

That is one...big... piece of meat.

Is that tomorrow night's dinner?

Is it, like... elk or something?

Ew. Beef jerky.

[grunts] [screams]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[laughing]

[screaming]

[group laughter]

And Jason grabs her around the neck?

[screams] [growling]

[grunts, growls]

[screaming]

[both screaming]

[growls, laughing] [screaming]

And she's trying to get away,

and just as he's about to slit her throat,

she knees right in the nuts!

Oh!

[groans]

And then she's just about to run out of the kitchen...

[growls]

Wham!

Right between the eyes. [laughing]

[Lance] Oh, right there.

[crashing]

[laughter]

[laughing]

Oh, dear. [chuckles]

Who's next?

# [rock]

Anastasia?

Anastasia, is that you?

# [continues]

What took you so long?

[volume increases]

I don't-- I don't think

I want to do this anymore.

Ooh. [chuckles] That's warm.

I like that.

Shh!

Shh!

Ooh.

[laughs]

Uh...

Mmm...

# [rock in distance]

# [continues]

[muffled moans]

[moaning continues]

[muffled screaming]

[screaming continues]

Shh!

[screaming]

[continuous screaming]

[growling] [knife whirring]

[growling] [muffled screaming]

Ohh! Ohh!

[screaming]

[shouts]

[shrieking] [screaming]

[shouting] Okay!

[echoing] Okay!

[birds chirping]

Hi. - Hey.

You know, you should come

and hang out with us tonight.

Um...thanks,

but I need to cram for my midterm on Wednesday.

Well, I mean,

if you need to take a break,

just stop by.

Can I ask you a question?

Sure.

[chuckling] I shouldn't.

Okay.

Well...I read in one of my classes

that all women at one time or another

have lesbian dreams.

Lesbian dreams?

You know... sexual dreams?

About being with another woman.

Do you think that's true?

[chuckles]

I don't know about all women.

I mean...I have. [chuckles]

Do you think that's normal?

I wouldn't worry about it too much.

[moaning]

[moaning continues]

Hmm?

Hmm?

Ohh...

Oh! Ohh!

Hey. Good morning, beautiful.

Mmm...

Huh, and to think you two

almost outdrank me last night.

[chuckles]

You passed out at 12:30.

We were up way past 2.

Oh-- Hey, don't.

You want this?

You want this over here?

Then right here first.

Yeah, right.

No. Stop it.

Let go. Let it go. Let go.

Do you want to fight for it?

Not a good idea.

I was featherweight fight champion

in elementary school. [laughs] Oh, really.

You box?

Where'd you learn, PlayStation?

No. PlayStation learned from me.

All right, Rocky... I'll fight you for it.

Featherweight fight champion comin' at you.

Oh, bring it on.

Bring it on, Rocky, bring it on.

Come on. Come on. You wanna fight? Come on.

Here it comes. You ready? Featherweight fight champion. Let's go.

Come on! Let's go! Are you ready?

Bring it on, Rocky. You want this? Come on.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Here it comes!

[shouts]

[blow lands] [Lance screams]

[clattering]

# [whistling] [blades being sharpened]

[whistling, sharpening continue]

[chuckles]

[cartoon on TV]

[chuckles]

[turns TV off]

I was watching that, bitch.

Whatever. You've been watching what you want all night.

[turns TV on] What do you think you're doing?

I'm queen of the remote, fuck tard.

The hell you are! Give it to me!

You're gonna break it!

Give it to me!

Are you okay?

Aw, it's no biggie. I had an injury like this

when I played ball in high school.

I didn't know you played baseball.

Bocce ball.

Huh?

Bocce ball.

You know... lawn bowling?

Forget about it. It's European.

Well, I'm sorry anyway.

I hope it doesn't still hurt.

[inhales]

Only when I breathe.

It was a good kick, though. [chuckles]

You really got off the ground.

You were, like, wahh! [chuckles]

[imitates crashing] Mmm.

[both chuckle]

Um...mmm.

Well, get back to the books.

We've got lots to catch up on.

Do you think it would help if I kissed it?

Medically speaking, it should have no effect.

Better?

You know, I really shouldn't have done that.

Oops. [laughs] Yes, you should've.

Oops.

Well...it's okay.

[stammering] I get it.

Um...you're just not ready for a guy like me.

I get it.

And what kind of girl is ready

for a guy like you, Lance?

Lots.

Really. - Yeah.

Who?

Well...um...

well, I don't like to kiss and tell.

[chuckles]

You are so totally a virgin.

I am not! I've had lots!

Whatever.

Virgin.

What'd you get for problem six?

You wanna have sex?

[coughs]

[screams]

You scared me.

Wow.

Thank you.

I'm not hungry.

Okay.

Sorry.

I have a headache.

I've been studying all afternoon.

Hmm...

[sighs]

Hmm...

Huh?

Hmm?

Hmm.

[chuckling] Hmm.

Hmm...

Thank you. You are so thoughtful.

I...am...cook.

[chuckles]

Hmm?

[chuckles]

[Man on TV] Get the rifles!

We have to save the beaches!

No! No! Go back there! [gunshots]

[grunts]

I need a bath.

[TV continues, indistinct]

Make it a bubble bath.

I'll be right in.

Who invited you?

[TV chatter] [gunshots]

# [R & B]

[Male vocalist] # Mmm, yeah #

# All right #

# Gonna call you #

# Tonight #

# Come on over to my place, baby #

# Ooh, girl, tonight #

# I'm gonna hold you tight #

# I'm gonna slow-dance #

# Dance all night #

# I'm gonna cook you dinner #

# So kick off your shoes #

# Because tonight, sweet baby #

# I'm over the moon #

# 'Cause when I'm makin' love to you #

# It's like the first time #

# And when you're makin' love to me #

# It's like the last time #

# I never felt like this before #

# The way I feel right now #

# Is when I'm makin' love to you #

# It's like the first time, the last time #

# Sweet lovin' #

# Uh, that's what you give me #

[TV chatter, indistinct]

# And it's the pleasure #

# Girl, you thrill me #

# Ooh, now we #

# Uh, we've been together #

# And it's time #

# Time you move on in #

# 'Cause when I'm makin' love to you #

# It's like the first time #

# And when you're makin' love to me #

# It's like the last time #

# I never felt like this before #

# The way I feel right now #

No stopping! - Oh, my God!

Ohh! Ohh!

Lance, come on! - Oh, my God!

Oh, Lance!

"Oh, Lance! It's real, Lance!"

Oh, baby!

Oh, Lance! Aah! - Baby!

Lance, Lance, Lance!

Way to go, Frank!

What? Who the hell is Frank??

Don't worry about it, baby.

Just relax and let Frank do the drivin'.

Okay? - Okay.

Oh, Frank! - "Go, Frank, yes!"

Frank!

# [score on TV]

[giggling]

[Man on TV] Let his fate be a lesson to all of you.

Zarkov's next move will be to land in Phrygia,

an attempt to secure Polaroit!

But Your Majesty...

[giggling]

...could withstand and survive

the death-dealing cold there.

[giggling louder]

They have determined to secure Polaroit.

You can rest assured that Dr. Zarkov

has devised some means

of combating the temperature.

[woman moaning]

You're to take a bomber and fly over over--

[giggling]

[water splashing] [moaning]

Amy...

# 'Cause when I'm making love to you #

# It's like the first time, the best time #

Amy!

# Two stars passing in the night #

Oh, Amy!

# Winter always turns to spring #

# Tonight I give you this ring #

# You should know by now #

# That I'm thinking about you, baby #

# Oh, I could tell #

# By the look in your eye #

# That you feel the same way that I do #

Oh, Pam.

I'm all warmed up for y--

[gasps]

[screaming]

[giggling]

[continues giggling]

[laughing]

# [rock]

Listen, Frank, you almost ready to go again?

Huh?

Hey, listen.

This time go easy on the girl.

All right, we don't want to damage the goods.

Okay?

Huh?

Hey, Buns?

Listen, I'm gonna go have a sandwich!

All right? I gotta recharge.

I need some fuel!

You know?

[chuckling]

# [action score on TV]

[muttering] You're takin' my business.

[Man on TV] Flash, where'd you get the pink stone

from that ledge?

[Flash] It's that rock I shoved into my--

[continues indistinct]

I love this movie! It's a classic!

[groaning]

[distant groaning]

[door creaking]

[laughing]

[laughing] This is great!

Hey, psst, Pam.

Pam.

[laughing]

This is funny.

[giggles]

[Man on TV] The king has brought us all freedom

because of what Flash has done!

[both giggling]

Now! Hey, Buns, I just got caught up in the movie.

Wait, this is the best part.

Okay, okay, look, look! Here it comes!

[screams]

Okay.

You son of a bitch, get off me!

You son of a bitch, get off me!

Get off me.

No, no!

[Man on TV] Chance here to get away.

[giggling]

[Man on TV] What's he saying?

[Flash] He's thanking you for saving him.

[Bunny] I'll be right there, stud muffin.

[giggling]

Some people calls it a sling blade.

I calls it a kaiser blade.

Shh.

[giggling]

Rocky, I'm back now!

Rocky?

Lance?

Lance!

Lance.

Lance!

Quit fucking around!

Lance?

Lance?

Ew.

Lance?

[distant whirring]

Lance?

[whirring stops]

Lance, are you down there?

[whirring continues]

Lance?

[whirring]

Hi.

Hi, excuse me.

Excuse me!

Hi.

Have you seen Lance?

[screaming]

[continued screaming]

Oh, my God! Amy! Amy!

Amy! Amy!

We gotta get the fuck out of this shit.

[growling]

[whimpering]

Oh, my God! No!

Oh, God! [screaming]

Oh, my God!

Oh, fuck, fuck.

[whimpering]

[screaming]

[moaning]

[distant whirring]

[whirring stops]

[whirring continues]

[whirring stops]

[moaning]

[whirring continues]

[whirring stops]

[whirring continues]

[whirring stops]

Hello?

[stairs creaking]

Hello?

Hello?

[door clanging]

[screaming]

[continued screaming]

Oh, my God! Bunny!

Bunny, you're alive!

Bunny?

[helicopter hovering]

[police sirens wailing]

[boards clattering]

Excuse me.

That's in the house.

Sir! Just a minute.

I don't want any of those girls--

Detective, you got to see this.

Not now, I'm busy.

But we found another body.

It's the cook, sir.

The cook?

You know what to do.

20 years on the job, Jimmy,

and you know what I've learned?

Uh, what, sir?

Doughnuts always go better with a good cup of joe.

You know what else I've learned?

No, what?

You want to score extra points with the detective in charge,

next time you better remember the coffee, okay?

I like it black.

Yes, sir. What do you got?

We found these in the trunk right next to the body.

We have a visa, work papers,

and a passport from Hungary.

[laughing]

What's so funny?

The Hungary cook? Get it?

That's not funny, Jimmy.

Sorry, sir.

The Ethiopian cook,

now that would be funny.

Yes, sir.

We also found this.

It's an English/Hungarian dictionary.

We'll know more after we run some tests,

but it appears the body has been in this trunk

for about six months.

Oh, whoa!

That's what I'm talking about.

All right, let's take a look.

[chuckles] That was a bad idea.

Nice. If anybody needs me,

I'll be in my car, throwing up.

You want a bite?

[Man] Detective!

We've got a live one over here!

[monitor beeping]

So what do you say you and I get together again tonight?

Yeah. - Hey, Doc?

How's she doing? Can I talk to her?

Well, she's stable, but I don't think

you're gonna get much out of her tonight.

All right.

I'd like to come by in the morning,

though, with a sketch artist,

and try to get an I.D. on this Cook character.

Sure.

She should be lucid enough by then.

Good night.

[Man] Take care.

[Man] Miss...

Miss, wake up, it's time for dinner.

I'm not hungry.

You really need to eat something.

No.

Why don't you just wake up and say ah...Buns?

I've cooked up something very special for you.

Just for you, Buns.

Okay!

[laughing]

[laughter echoing]

# [rock]

# You're walking down a crowded street #

# No one looks the same #

# But we still reserve our right to hate #

# Where no one walks the same #

# No one talks the same #

# 'Cause they aren't like you #

# Well, I have some news for you #

# This ain't no fun house #

[men cheering]

Go! Go! Go!

Is somebody gonna get that?

Go, pledge!

Five, four, three, two--

[crowd cheering on TV]

Buona sera!

Guys, the cook!

Buona sera!

[slate clacks]

Oh, shit.

[crew laughing, clapping]

Sorry.

[slate clacks]

[Man] It's a buzzing.

It's the lighter.

I burnt my hair.

[gasps]

[slate clacks]

Buona sera, huh!

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[slate clacks]

[screams]

[crashing]

[Woman] Are you okay?

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[door opening]

Freund.

Went down after the basement.

[laughing]

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

It's sick.

Like I haven't caught you.

Sorry! I'm so sorry!

What are you doing in my room?

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[slate clacks]

What the fuck's the name of that artist?

[crew] Rodin! Fuck!

[slate clacks]

Buona sera!

[slate clacks]

Buona sera!

[Man] Okay.

[slate clacks]

Buona sera!

[slate clacks]

Buona sera!

[Man] Quiet on the set!

Fuck! [Woman] Still rolling.

Some people calls it a kaiser blade,

I call it--

Fuck! Which-- What is it?

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[slate clacks]

Buona sera, mother fucker!

[crew laughing]

[Man] All right.

Here we go, one more!

Here we go.

# I ain't your sinner, little girl #

# You ain't bitch enough #

# Stop wasting your time with me #

# I'm not your key to the world #

# Wasting your time #

# You gotta believe me #

# I'm not your bitch little girl #

# Take a hike you know get the fuck out of here #

# Your mind is bending #

# Burning down inside #

# You're fading away #

# Like a twisted lie #

# Going down on the blow #

# Running down the door #

# You ain't the one #

# I like some more #

Fuck-a you!

[crew laughing]

[Man] That's great!

Subtitles extracted by LeapinLar