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1
00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:26,692
Hey, Ed, how's it going?
2
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,193
Can I get you something?
3
00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:29,455
Shelly?
4
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:32,726
My new acid raincoat.
Isn't it bitchin'?
5
00:00:32,799 --> 00:00:35,427
Cost Holling 25 energy units.
6
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:37,427
Wow.
7
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:42,766
Holling?
8
00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:44,742
What can I get for you, Ed?
9
00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:46,335
Fresh oxygen?
10
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:48,508
A nice glass of water, maybe?
11
00:00:48,581 --> 00:00:50,173
56% pure.
12
00:00:50,483 --> 00:00:52,383
Holling,
what happened to your hair?
13
00:00:52,952 --> 00:00:56,945
Oh, a little reaction to
that toxic inversion layer...
14
00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:58,684
we had last month.
15
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,655
I think it's hot.
16
00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:04,491
Hey, Ed!
17
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:05,622
Eddie, my boy.
18
00:01:05,698 --> 00:01:07,563
Ed, Ed, take a hit, man.
19
00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:10,797
It's the real thing.
O2, oxygen.
20
00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:12,064
First hit's free.
21
00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:13,230
Come on, Ed.
22
00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:14,739
What, you got
two left feet or what?
23
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,173
Dr. Fleischman?
24
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:18,042
What's happened to you?
25
00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:20,671
Well, like a schmuck, I
listened to the ozone report.
26
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:23,375
I went out
without my SPF 360 sun block.
27
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:26,851
Look, I don't have much of
an appetite, you want this?
28
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,512
What's wrong? Ed?
29
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,453
So I told him, "You tried to
land in that soup?"
30
00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:32,753
Maggie what's happened,
everybody's...
31
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:35,158
What, Ed? Ed?
32
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:37,786
What's wrong, Ed?
33
00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:27,200
Incredible.
34
00:02:28,610 --> 00:02:30,130
Unbelievable.
35
00:02:30,210 --> 00:02:31,440
Oh, what?
36
00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,340
It's a piece of junk.
37
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,910
God, the whole thing's
rusted.
38
00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:40,080
I'm surprised
it didn't give out before.
39
00:02:40,150 --> 00:02:42,180
Maggie, these pipes
are plastic.
40
00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:45,450
PVC to be exact.
Polyvinyl chloride.
41
00:02:45,530 --> 00:02:47,020
A working girl's friend.
42
00:02:47,090 --> 00:02:49,320
Light, cheap,
and indestructible.
43
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:51,290
Maggie,
this isn't biodegradable.
44
00:02:51,370 --> 00:02:52,960
Yeah, damn right,
it's not.
45
00:02:53,030 --> 00:02:55,020
You think I want to go
through this again.
46
00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:57,940
You should have seen
my front yard at 3:00 a. m.
47
00:02:58,770 --> 00:03:01,800
Maggie, PVC
contains carcinogens.
48
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,240
I know. I'm not going
to drink out of it, Ed.
49
00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:06,280
It's just for my garden.
50
00:03:06,510 --> 00:03:09,010
Okay, this is
long enough.
51
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,520
Oh, I need to go
down another foot.
52
00:03:13,220 --> 00:03:15,950
What's the matter, Ed?
You seem a little gloomy.
53
00:03:16,020 --> 00:03:17,680
Well, that's because
I am.
54
00:03:19,190 --> 00:03:20,720
Well, any particular reason?
55
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,360
Yeah, I was at The Brick
and it was all different.
56
00:03:23,430 --> 00:03:25,560
Like in Soylent Green.
57
00:03:26,230 --> 00:03:28,530
What's this?
I think I hit something.
58
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,190
We'd destroyed the planet.
59
00:03:30,270 --> 00:03:32,500
The ozone layer was long gone.
60
00:03:33,470 --> 00:03:35,910
And people were diseased,
mutated, really.
61
00:03:35,980 --> 00:03:37,100
There's something
down here.
62
00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:38,980
Dr. Fleischman
was a mummy.
63
00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:41,540
And Holling,
well, he was bald.
64
00:03:41,850 --> 00:03:44,980
Maggie, you were
horribly disfigured.
65
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:48,150
Your face was all covered
with these bumpy things.
66
00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:49,420
It was just awful.
67
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,820
Would you look at this.
68
00:03:53,130 --> 00:03:54,860
What do you think, Ed?
69
00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:57,590
Look, it's got a carving
on the side, too.
70
00:03:57,670 --> 00:03:59,000
Is this Indian?
71
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,490
Yeah, it's got
to be Indian.
72
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:06,100
Well, maybe it's...
Well, could it be maybe...
73
00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:10,380
I'll bet
it's a baby carrier.
74
00:04:10,910 --> 00:04:12,940
Oh, yeah, the little head
went up here...
75
00:04:13,010 --> 00:04:15,450
and the little feet
went down here.
76
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:18,640
Wow, isn't this sweet?
77
00:04:19,290 --> 00:04:20,690
Ed, what do you think?
78
00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:21,780
Ed?
79
00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:26,080
Ed?
80
00:04:31,570 --> 00:04:33,470
Hey, buddy, gotta light?
81
00:04:33,530 --> 00:04:34,970
Nope, sorry.
82
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:36,990
Hey.
83
00:04:37,740 --> 00:04:38,760
What?
84
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:39,970
How old are you?
85
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,100
18.
86
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:44,510
Oh, yeah! Right.
And I'm 64.
87
00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:47,510
Hey! Hey!
Where are you going?
88
00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:50,640
You don't walk away
when someone's talking to you.
89
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:51,810
What?
90
00:04:52,420 --> 00:04:53,850
You see this?
91
00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:55,620
You know what it is?
92
00:04:55,690 --> 00:04:56,660
It's a book.
93
00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,390
No, it's a medical text.
I happen to be a doctor.
94
00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:01,020
An almost
board-certified physician.
95
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,820
So let me paint
a little picture for you...
96
00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:05,160
of what's gonna happen to those
pink little lungs of yours...
97
00:05:05,230 --> 00:05:06,600
if you keep up
this smoking act, okay?
98
00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:07,900
Like I'm trembling.
99
00:05:07,970 --> 00:05:10,330
You got a lot of attitude for
a guy who isn't tall enough...
100
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,370
to get on half the rides
at Disneyland.
101
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:13,570
Cram it, doc.
102
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:14,940
What? Excuse me?
103
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:16,100
Later.
104
00:05:16,180 --> 00:05:19,150
Hey, you little pipsqueak, where do
you get off talking to me that way?
105
00:05:19,210 --> 00:05:20,200
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
106
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,370
Hey!
107
00:05:23,850 --> 00:05:24,940
What'll it be?
108
00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:27,110
Rum and coke
on the rocks with a twist.
109
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,150
Need to turn up
the hearing aid, pop?
110
00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:31,850
Have you got some ID?
111
00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:35,930
Yeah, yeah,
I don't believe this.
112
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,120
Born in '71, huh?
113
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,000
Let's see that makes you 21?
114
00:05:43,070 --> 00:05:44,090
That's right.
115
00:05:44,170 --> 00:05:46,610
155 pounds, 5 feet 9.
116
00:05:46,670 --> 00:05:49,170
I got a thyroid condition,
what of it?
117
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:51,340
You can't sit at the bar
without an adult.
118
00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:53,140
What kind of
bogus town is this?
119
00:05:53,210 --> 00:05:54,650
Look, mister,
I'm hungry.
120
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,150
Can't I just get a
cheeseburger, fries and a coke?
121
00:05:57,220 --> 00:05:59,910
I'll have to serve it
to you at a table.
122
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:01,410
My god.
123
00:06:01,490 --> 00:06:03,290
Hi, Ed. Okay.
124
00:06:03,890 --> 00:06:05,690
Check out the scenery.
125
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,190
She is fine.
126
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,930
Man, would I like
to fluff those pillows.
127
00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:14,600
Hey, Ed.
128
00:06:14,970 --> 00:06:17,060
Could you just put those
things on the counter, please?
129
00:06:17,140 --> 00:06:18,400
Okie-doke.
130
00:06:18,470 --> 00:06:20,460
Let's see what we've got.
131
00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:23,700
Oxtail soup,
minced clams.
132
00:06:24,180 --> 00:06:25,870
You know, in the future it's doubtful...
133
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:28,110
they'll even have
minced clams.
134
00:06:28,620 --> 00:06:30,340
They won't?
No way.
135
00:06:30,420 --> 00:06:33,780
The seas will be way too
polluted to support mollusks.
136
00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:36,910
You know, Mike, I had a dream
just last night about the future.
137
00:06:36,990 --> 00:06:37,980
Yeah?
138
00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:41,290
Yup. The air, the food,
the rain were all poison.
139
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,560
And everyone I knew
was mutated.
140
00:06:43,630 --> 00:06:46,030
Classic post-apocalyptic
nightmare.
141
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:47,090
Huh?
142
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,730
You were normal, but everything
else was distorted, grotesque.
143
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:51,790
That's it.
144
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,430
I have them all the time.
145
00:06:53,510 --> 00:06:54,670
Though it's funny.
146
00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:56,870
Most of my post-apocalyptic
dreams...
147
00:06:56,940 --> 00:06:58,740
have to do with food.
148
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,240
The other night...
149
00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:04,010
I dreamed that it was
raining marinated pimentos.
150
00:07:05,490 --> 00:07:07,480
Oh. Those are mine, Mike.
151
00:07:07,650 --> 00:07:09,380
Nacho cheese chips?
152
00:07:09,890 --> 00:07:11,050
Sorry.
153
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:15,520
Actually, it's not gonna
happen like in your dream.
154
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:16,960
What's not?
155
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,820
Well, the end of life
on Earth.
156
00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:19,920
No?
157
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,800
No, it'll be
much more gradual.
158
00:07:21,870 --> 00:07:23,630
Far less traumatic.
159
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:24,860
Great.
160
00:07:25,210 --> 00:07:26,700
You see, Ed...
161
00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:28,240
the human mind...
162
00:07:28,310 --> 00:07:31,240
it doesn't think
in geological increments.
163
00:07:31,310 --> 00:07:35,040
They're too vast, so we
compress things as in our dreams.
164
00:07:35,250 --> 00:07:39,350
But the reality is, even at current
rates of environmental destruction...
165
00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:42,860
it'll take considerable time
for our species to disappear.
166
00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:44,080
Huh.
167
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:47,590
Oh, sure, there'll be famine,
you know, riots, plagues...
168
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,590
but most people, they'll go on
as they always have...
169
00:07:50,660 --> 00:07:52,460
ignoring, adapting, and...
170
00:07:53,030 --> 00:07:56,370
Until finally the planet
truly is uninhabitable.
171
00:07:56,440 --> 00:08:00,400
The air and water will be too
polluted to support the ecosystem...
172
00:08:00,470 --> 00:08:03,500
and mankind will
simply die off in droves.
173
00:08:04,110 --> 00:08:05,310
Like the dinosaurs.
174
00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:06,400
Right.
175
00:08:08,750 --> 00:08:10,720
Wow, I still can't
believe it.
176
00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:13,080
History, right here
in my own front yard.
177
00:08:13,150 --> 00:08:14,590
Yeah, I know
just what you mean.
178
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:17,620
When I was six, I found an
arrowhead in a neighbor's field.
179
00:08:17,690 --> 00:08:21,750
Comanche. I slept with it on my
bedside table for, oh, years...
180
00:08:21,830 --> 00:08:25,030
then I went to Zuni fetishes,
Navajo jewelry...
181
00:08:25,570 --> 00:08:27,000
Santa Clara pottery.
182
00:08:27,070 --> 00:08:29,370
I didn't know you were a
collector of Native American arts?
183
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,800
Oh, yeah, my collection
of Hopi Kachina dolls...
184
00:08:31,870 --> 00:08:34,000
is second only
to Barry Goldwater's.
185
00:08:34,070 --> 00:08:35,770
No kidding.
Uh-huh.
186
00:08:35,910 --> 00:08:37,340
Well, then, what do you
think of that?
187
00:08:37,410 --> 00:08:38,880
Well...
188
00:08:38,950 --> 00:08:41,350
my first idea was,
it was a hoax.
189
00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:42,440
A hoax?
190
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,920
Yeah, Maggie,
this is cedar wood...
191
00:08:44,990 --> 00:08:47,720
and the Native Americans
did use cedar wood.
192
00:08:47,790 --> 00:08:52,280
But, when you use organic,
friable material like that...
193
00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:54,220
and you put it
in the ground...
194
00:08:54,290 --> 00:08:57,130
bacteria starts to work
almost immediately.
195
00:08:57,260 --> 00:09:00,360
Within, 10 or 20 years,
you don't have anything.
196
00:09:00,730 --> 00:09:02,100
Unless it's in permafrost.
197
00:09:02,170 --> 00:09:04,070
Which we're
too far south for that.
198
00:09:04,140 --> 00:09:06,800
Yeah. And this is in almost
mint condition. Look it here.
199
00:09:06,870 --> 00:09:09,140
You can see
where the paint was.
200
00:09:09,210 --> 00:09:10,440
Mmm-hmm.
201
00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:14,170
A hoax under these
circumstances seemed unlikely...
202
00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:16,270
so, I asked myself...
203
00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:20,190
what is something
like this doing here?
204
00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:22,880
Well, there were Indian
villages around here.
205
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,050
Yeah.
206
00:09:24,190 --> 00:09:27,160
Was your house built on the
ruins of an Indian village?
207
00:09:27,230 --> 00:09:28,390
You mean like Pompeii?
208
00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:30,290
No, that doesn't wash.
209
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:35,090
No, there's no volcanic range
within 1000 miles of here.
210
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,900
There's no cataclysmic
earthquake on record. No.
211
00:09:39,670 --> 00:09:41,730
No, my best guess is that...
212
00:09:41,810 --> 00:09:43,170
it was buried here
deliberately.
213
00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:44,270
Well, why?
214
00:09:44,340 --> 00:09:47,510
Oh, I don't know. Maybe to
hide it from raiding tribes...
215
00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:49,740
or, maybe the Russians?
216
00:09:49,820 --> 00:09:50,810
The Russians?
217
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:51,870
Oh, yeah.
218
00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:54,820
The Russkies kicked up
quite a fuss around here.
219
00:09:54,890 --> 00:09:56,880
Around 1800.
220
00:09:57,420 --> 00:10:01,220
You know trade disputes, Russian
orthodox church, that sort of thing.
221
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,390
You mean, so this could be
around 200 years old?
222
00:10:03,460 --> 00:10:05,020
Oh, yeah, more than that.
223
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:06,900
Wow.
Yeah.
224
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,260
Hey.
225
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,600
What's this?
226
00:10:10,670 --> 00:10:12,470
What's what? What is it?
227
00:10:13,310 --> 00:10:14,640
Let me see.
228
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,040
Look.
Well, I'll be, look at that.
229
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:20,670
That's definite
Athabaskan influence.
230
00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:23,110
Maggie, this is a sewing kit.
231
00:10:23,180 --> 00:10:24,740
Look here,
see the needle?
232
00:10:24,820 --> 00:10:26,080
Wow.
Yeah.
233
00:10:31,930 --> 00:10:33,420
Take plastic?
234
00:10:33,790 --> 00:10:35,090
No cards.
235
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,020
Not even
American Express?
236
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,430
Cash only.
237
00:10:38,670 --> 00:10:40,160
Can I run a tab?
238
00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:41,460
Tab, huh?
239
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:43,300
You know, I wasn't
much older than you...
240
00:10:43,370 --> 00:10:46,070
before I struck out on the
open road myself, young man.
241
00:10:46,140 --> 00:10:48,900
I think it does a body good
to go off on one's own.
242
00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:52,430
Teaches you to develop
independence, self-reliance.
243
00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:55,680
Much as I generally
dislike children...
244
00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:58,380
in your case,
I feel a general rapport.
245
00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:00,040
You trying to say
something here?
246
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:01,610
Pay as you go.
247
00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,160
That way you answer
to nobody but yourself.
248
00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:05,710
Truth is I'm busted.
249
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,120
I figured.
250
00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:09,600
You want to eat,
you gotta work.
251
00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:10,650
Work?
252
00:11:10,730 --> 00:11:12,320
You can bus tables
for meal money...
253
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,200
sack out on the pool table
if you like...
254
00:11:14,270 --> 00:11:16,960
but first, I gotta know
who I'm dealing with.
255
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,400
Brad Young.
256
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:19,940
Holling Vincoeur, Brad.
257
00:11:20,010 --> 00:11:21,100
Where are your folks?
258
00:11:21,170 --> 00:11:22,270
Los Angeles.
259
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:24,170
You're a good
long way from home.
260
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,140
Yeah, I'm supposed
to be at this camp.
261
00:11:26,210 --> 00:11:27,910
But it was
totally bogus.
262
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:29,710
There's no camps
around here.
263
00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:31,940
Yeah, there is.
"Inward Summit. "
264
00:11:32,020 --> 00:11:33,250
Never heard of it.
265
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,750
They move around.
266
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,620
It's one of those wilderness
survival things, you know?
267
00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:40,220
Make you hike all day,
cook your own food...
268
00:11:40,290 --> 00:11:42,520
sleep outside on the ground.
269
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,460
Sounds like
rip-roaring fun.
270
00:11:44,530 --> 00:11:46,620
It's not supposed
to be fun.
271
00:11:46,870 --> 00:11:48,600
It's supposed to
improve your attitude...
272
00:11:48,670 --> 00:11:50,640
or self-esteem,
stuff like that.
273
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:53,230
I think the idea is, if you do
something that sucks long enough...
274
00:11:53,310 --> 00:11:55,040
anything will look good.
275
00:11:55,110 --> 00:11:57,100
I'm supposed to be
on my solo, right?
276
00:11:57,180 --> 00:11:59,200
That's where they drop you off
in the woods alone...
277
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:00,870
with a piece of string
and safety pin...
278
00:12:00,950 --> 00:12:03,070
and they say,
"See you in three days. "
279
00:12:03,820 --> 00:12:05,480
I followed their tracks
back to the road...
280
00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:07,380
hitched a ride
with a logging truck.
281
00:12:07,450 --> 00:12:08,650
Resourceful.
282
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,490
Figure I'll work my way
down to Seattle, get a job...
283
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:12,860
maybe do some repo work.
284
00:12:12,930 --> 00:12:14,290
Is that so?
285
00:12:14,590 --> 00:12:16,790
You're not gonna
turn me in, are you?
286
00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:18,960
No, I'm not gonna turn you in.
287
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,930
But I'm not gonna
lie for you either.
288
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,470
If somebody asks me...
289
00:12:23,340 --> 00:12:25,310
I'll tell them what I know.
290
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:26,770
Cool.
291
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,310
Enjoy your dinner.
292
00:12:28,510 --> 00:12:31,940
There's a clean apron waiting
for you when you're done.
293
00:12:33,050 --> 00:12:34,450
More coffee?
294
00:12:34,550 --> 00:12:36,140
If you're pouring.
295
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:38,520
Nice hooters.
296
00:12:38,590 --> 00:12:39,640
Thanks.
297
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:40,880
Order up!
298
00:12:40,950 --> 00:12:42,110
Coming.
299
00:12:46,930 --> 00:12:48,990
Just a minute,
let me get this in position.
300
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,430
Okay, go ahead.
301
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:51,630
What is this?
302
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:52,960
Oh, Maggie.
303
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,730
Listen, we're gonna
have to ask you...
304
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,460
to use the back door
from now on.
305
00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:59,570
Yeah, we have to preserve
the integrity of the site.
306
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,580
Guys, this is my front yard.
307
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,470
I mean, what exactly
is going on here?
308
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,880
Maggie, we are really in luck.
309
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:09,910
Ron here, it turns out, was an
adjunct professor of anthropology...
310
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,680
at New Hampshire
University.
311
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,450
The Hampshire College,
Amherst, Mass.
312
00:13:14,590 --> 00:13:17,080
Erick's done quite a lot
of excavation work, too.
313
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:19,350
Yeah, well, my uncle used to
be a general contractor.
314
00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:21,330
Maurice,
I'm a little lost here.
315
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,700
Oh, well, the boys have signed
on to help us develop the site.
316
00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:25,760
Us?
317
00:13:25,830 --> 00:13:27,300
We're extremely
excited, Maggie.
318
00:13:27,370 --> 00:13:29,170
Considering the condition
of the artifacts.
319
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:30,760
Yeah, the general topography
of the land.
320
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,970
The high water table, possibly
due to an artesian spring.
321
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:36,510
Yeah. What we
have here is...
322
00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:37,740
peat.
323
00:13:37,810 --> 00:13:39,040
Peat?
Peaty water.
324
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:40,950
Which acts as a
first-rate preservative.
325
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:43,350
In other words,
what we find down here...
326
00:13:43,420 --> 00:13:45,820
could be of
landmark significance.
327
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,790
Do you boys want to go
finish up the grid work?
328
00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:52,550
I'd like to break ground before 0900.
329
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,120
Sure thing, Maurice.
330
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,530
You know, Maggie...
331
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,860
you know, fairies are the perfect
people to do this kind of work.
332
00:13:58,930 --> 00:14:00,700
Biologically,
their upper bodies...
333
00:14:00,770 --> 00:14:02,900
are strong enough
to wield a pickaxe...
334
00:14:02,970 --> 00:14:07,430
but temperamentally, they're
precise and meticulous.
335
00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:11,040
Maurice,
I'm not sure about this.
336
00:14:11,110 --> 00:14:12,640
What?
Well...
337
00:14:12,710 --> 00:14:14,580
Oh, yeah, well...
338
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,320
don't worry, little lady,
I'm gonna take care of you.
339
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,680
I've drawn up
a contract here.
340
00:14:20,090 --> 00:14:23,890
It's a contract of excavation
that protects you.
341
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,480
You know,
just look it over.
342
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:26,720
See what you think.
343
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,200
Oh, I had to give
Ron and Erick...
344
00:14:29,260 --> 00:14:31,730
any shaman rattles
we come across.
345
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,130
Those boys know
the marketplace.
346
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,500
40%?
347
00:14:36,570 --> 00:14:38,200
Yeah, that's
pretty standard.
348
00:14:38,270 --> 00:14:41,370
I mean, I am providing
the money for this thing.
349
00:14:41,510 --> 00:14:45,950
Well, look, it gives you first
dibs on any decorative item...
350
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:49,770
and I've told them we're
naming the site after you...
351
00:14:49,850 --> 00:14:51,290
the O'Connell site.
352
00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:52,340
Really?
353
00:14:52,420 --> 00:14:54,220
Yeah.
354
00:14:54,590 --> 00:14:56,290
All right, boys, about time.
355
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:59,560
Come on, shovels on the
left, pickaxes on the right.
356
00:14:59,630 --> 00:15:01,760
Come on, you expect
a full day's pay...
357
00:15:01,830 --> 00:15:03,630
I expect
a full day's work.
358
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:05,790
Let's go, double-time, march.
359
00:15:05,870 --> 00:15:07,390
We're burning daylight here.
360
00:15:11,950 --> 00:15:13,510
What do you think?
361
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,070
You missed a spot.
362
00:15:15,550 --> 00:15:17,210
I swept out
the stock room.
363
00:15:17,290 --> 00:15:19,050
Got anything else
for me to do?
364
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,020
You could clean
the grease traps.
365
00:15:21,090 --> 00:15:22,280
No problem.
366
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,490
Cool. Have fun.
367
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,490
Hey, Holling.
368
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,400
Want to show me
where the grease traps are?
369
00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:31,760
Grease traps?
370
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:32,990
Yeah.
371
00:15:33,170 --> 00:15:34,260
Why?
372
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,870
I'm gonna clean them.
373
00:15:36,940 --> 00:15:39,430
You're gonna clean
the grease traps?
374
00:15:39,580 --> 00:15:41,170
Well, yeah.
375
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:42,570
Why?
376
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,240
Excuse me, boys.
377
00:15:45,780 --> 00:15:46,940
I see.
378
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,720
She hits like a ton of bricks,
doesn't she?
379
00:15:49,790 --> 00:15:51,050
Tell me about it.
380
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,090
It was that way
with me, too, Brad.
381
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,250
Yeah?
Couldn't help myself.
382
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,850
Started doing things
never dreamt I'd do.
383
00:15:57,930 --> 00:16:00,620
Cook, clean,
shake out the rug.
384
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:04,290
Shelly's the kind of girl
who can turn you upside down.
385
00:16:04,370 --> 00:16:07,730
I was a man of the wilderness,
a hunter, a trapper...
386
00:16:08,470 --> 00:16:09,770
a killer.
387
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,270
Now look at me.
388
00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:13,900
Tied to a bar
by my apron strings...
389
00:16:13,980 --> 00:16:15,770
and loving
every minute of it.
390
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,710
Wow, you're one
lucky dude, Holling.
391
00:16:18,780 --> 00:16:20,610
That's true, but...
392
00:16:20,950 --> 00:16:23,350
I lost my best friend
over Shelly.
393
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,210
Yeah?
394
00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:27,550
And you know something?
395
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:29,920
I didn't care.
396
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:33,650
Sometimes love will pick you
up by the short hairs, Brad...
397
00:16:33,730 --> 00:16:35,200
and jerk the heck out of you.
398
00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:38,560
My grandmother had
a bowl like this.
399
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:40,500
It belonged
to her grandmother.
400
00:16:40,570 --> 00:16:42,160
Beaver clan.
Hmm.
401
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,730
I found this archaeology
textbook in the storeroom, Maggie.
402
00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:47,800
Clyde Winslow ordered it
some years ago...
403
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:50,350
but the poor man froze to death
before he could pick it up.
404
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:51,680
Oh, thanks, Ruth-Anne.
405
00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:54,010
My, aren't these wonderful?
What are they?
406
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,240
Women's things.
Oh.
407
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:57,550
May I?
408
00:16:57,620 --> 00:16:59,210
Yeah, sure, go ahead.
409
00:16:59,290 --> 00:17:00,760
Think of it.
410
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,660
This belonged to someone
hundreds of years ago.
411
00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:06,820
And she probably did
the same things we do.
412
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,590
Makes you feel connected
somehow, doesn't it?
413
00:17:09,670 --> 00:17:12,960
Yeah. She sewed,
we sew.
414
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,400
She cooked, we cook.
415
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:16,900
Exactly.
416
00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:19,300
She bore children,
we bear children.
417
00:17:19,380 --> 00:17:21,970
Well, some of us anyway,
so far, dear.
418
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,180
Is there something wrong?
419
00:17:26,250 --> 00:17:27,340
Well...
420
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:30,110
yeah, there is,
as a matter of fact.
421
00:17:30,190 --> 00:17:33,990
Here I discover a bunch of women's
things in my own front yard...
422
00:17:34,290 --> 00:17:37,280
and as we speak it's being
overrun by a bunch of men.
423
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:38,990
I know what you mean.
424
00:17:39,060 --> 00:17:41,000
The way that Maurice
is strutting around...
425
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,390
you'd think
he'd hung the moon.
426
00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:44,260
Why do men always
have to run things?
427
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:46,060
They can't help themselves.
428
00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:49,800
Yeah. You know what it is?
It's their penis.
429
00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:54,370
That's it, they think with it, they talk
with it, they just can't get past it.
430
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,430
Exactly.
431
00:17:55,510 --> 00:17:57,910
They can't receive, they can't
conceive, so what do they do?
432
00:17:57,980 --> 00:18:01,310
They make up for it by attacking
and plundering and overtaking.
433
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:02,480
Right.
434
00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:04,020
Men ruin things.
435
00:18:04,090 --> 00:18:05,710
Hey, Marilyn,
can you call Anchorage...
436
00:18:05,790 --> 00:18:07,810
find out what happened to
Fred Stitt's throat culture?
437
00:18:07,890 --> 00:18:09,360
It's been almost a week.
438
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:14,990
Am I interrupting something?
439
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:22,170
Hey. Uh-uh, uh-uh.
440
00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:24,900
I'm not gonna be
collectively vibed...
441
00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:27,310
out of my own office.
Understand?
442
00:18:27,580 --> 00:18:29,100
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
443
00:18:29,350 --> 00:18:31,110
You've five minutes.
444
00:18:36,190 --> 00:18:37,350
I rest my case.
445
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:38,610
Right.
446
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:41,220
Hello, I'm back.
447
00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:44,090
Did the Fuji apples
come in, Ed?
448
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,590
Hello, Ruth-Anne.
449
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:47,820
What in the world
are you doing, Ed?
450
00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:50,590
Getting rid of everything
that destroys the ozone layer.
451
00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:51,960
I figured you'd approve.
452
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:53,500
Well, you figured wrong.
453
00:18:53,570 --> 00:18:56,270
I want this mess
cleaned up this minute.
454
00:18:56,570 --> 00:19:00,100
I have a store to run, Ed.
The environment can wait.
455
00:19:00,310 --> 00:19:02,500
We'll all turn into mutants,
Ruth-Anne.
456
00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:04,510
Take this for example.
457
00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:05,950
That's my hairspray, Ed.
458
00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:07,040
Oh, I know.
459
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:09,210
But do you know that
every time you use that...
460
00:19:09,290 --> 00:19:11,520
you destroy a teensy-weensy
bit of the ozone layer.
461
00:19:11,590 --> 00:19:13,580
And, Ruth-Anne, we really
need our ozone layer.
462
00:19:13,660 --> 00:19:17,110
Okay, Ed, if it means that
much to you, I'll use mousse.
463
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:20,030
But I don't know
what's gotten into you lately.
464
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:23,660
But please, put all this
stuff back on the shelves, now.
465
00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:26,030
Okay.
466
00:19:26,470 --> 00:19:27,590
Thank you.
467
00:19:32,270 --> 00:19:35,000
Where's the videotape display
that I asked for?
468
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,240
Video?
469
00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:38,240
Ed?
470
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:39,470
That's it, Ruth-Anne.
471
00:19:39,550 --> 00:19:40,880
What's what?
472
00:19:40,950 --> 00:19:42,140
Videotape.
473
00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:43,310
What?
474
00:19:43,490 --> 00:19:45,750
Ruth-Anne, TV, movies.
475
00:19:45,820 --> 00:19:48,190
People only believe
what they see on the screen.
476
00:19:48,260 --> 00:19:50,520
You're such a smart lady,
thank you.
477
00:19:51,530 --> 00:19:52,590
Ed?
478
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:58,760
# This is the way
to grandmother's house #
479
00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:02,870
# to grandmother's house #
480
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,740
# This is the way
to grandmother's house ##
481
00:20:04,810 --> 00:20:06,000
Hey, babe.
482
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:08,480
Hello. Who are you?
483
00:20:08,780 --> 00:20:10,180
What's it look like?
484
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:11,970
I'm the subconscious
manifestation of...
485
00:20:12,050 --> 00:20:14,480
your primal male
fantasy fixations.
486
00:20:14,650 --> 00:20:16,280
What's in the basket?
487
00:20:16,350 --> 00:20:17,380
Goodies.
For me?
488
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:18,510
For Granny.
489
00:20:18,590 --> 00:20:20,420
Hey, forget Granny.
Granny's history.
490
00:20:20,490 --> 00:20:21,580
I had her for breakfast.
491
00:20:21,660 --> 00:20:22,590
What?
492
00:20:22,660 --> 00:20:24,750
She was just the embodiment
of your obsessive...
493
00:20:24,860 --> 00:20:28,060
unfulfilled need for the
non-critical parent, anyway.
494
00:20:28,130 --> 00:20:30,260
So don't worry
about Granny.
495
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,230
How about a peek
in the basket?
496
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:34,500
Hey, get your hairy paws off.
497
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:37,600
I really should send
for Hansel and Gretel.
498
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,770
You're not ready
for me, kid.
499
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:41,800
What are you talking about?
500
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,370
I'm here for your
basic oedipal conflict.
501
00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:47,110
All those unresolved hang-ups
from puberty.
502
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:48,910
The awakening
sexual drive...
503
00:20:48,980 --> 00:20:51,380
the confusion
of father as seducer...
504
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:53,280
the whole nine yards.
505
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:56,320
But you never got past
oral fixation, did you?
506
00:20:57,260 --> 00:21:00,060
What you need is to eat
the witch's house...
507
00:21:00,130 --> 00:21:02,190
kill the bad mother,
et cetera.
508
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:04,030
Then give me a call.
509
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,400
Wait a minute.
510
00:21:09,470 --> 00:21:11,410
I do not have
an oral fixation...
511
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:13,600
and I don't need some
stupid, long-nosed carnivore-
512
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,410
Tell me something, kid.
Why the red hood?
513
00:21:17,210 --> 00:21:19,610
Well, 'cause Granny
gave it to me.
514
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:21,210
Try again.
515
00:21:21,820 --> 00:21:24,620
Why red? Now, why not blue?
516
00:21:24,690 --> 00:21:26,660
Or green? Or chartreuse?
517
00:21:27,220 --> 00:21:30,420
Well, Granny says
it compliments my complexion.
518
00:21:31,460 --> 00:21:34,260
Try raw, try violent...
519
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:36,820
try sex, kid.
520
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,760
It's just a hood.
521
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:41,840
What do they call you?
522
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,040
Mary Margaret.
523
00:21:45,670 --> 00:21:47,640
Little Red Riding Hood.
524
00:21:49,010 --> 00:21:50,170
Why little?
525
00:21:51,950 --> 00:21:53,280
Okay, why?
526
00:21:53,820 --> 00:21:55,840
Because you're too immature
to handle...
527
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,410
complex feelings
of a sexual nature.
528
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,050
Listen to the child
inside you.
529
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:04,560
Is she really ready to deal
with what's in that basket?
530
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,060
Well, I...
531
00:22:08,130 --> 00:22:10,860
Maybe you'd feel better
if we both looked in it.
532
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:12,700
Together.
533
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:15,600
Well...
534
00:22:15,670 --> 00:22:17,430
Why don't we sit down?
535
00:22:17,510 --> 00:22:20,130
There's a nice bit
of shade over there.
536
00:22:21,380 --> 00:22:23,040
Well, okay.
537
00:22:23,110 --> 00:22:24,880
That's a good girl.
538
00:22:25,310 --> 00:22:27,080
Don't you feel better?
539
00:22:27,150 --> 00:22:28,380
Well...
540
00:22:28,650 --> 00:22:31,520
Of course you do,
you just don't realize...
541
00:22:43,870 --> 00:22:45,660
Hi, doc.
Hey, Dave.
542
00:22:46,430 --> 00:22:48,430
It's very impressive,
Maurice.
543
00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:50,490
Oh, this is just
the beginning.
544
00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:53,370
This afternoon, one of my air
force buddies from Elmendorf...
545
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,210
is gonna do a fly-by
with ground-penetrating radar.
546
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,910
Then we'll know exactly
what we've got in here.
547
00:22:58,980 --> 00:23:01,070
Well, what're you gonna
do with all this stuff?
548
00:23:01,150 --> 00:23:03,850
Well, part of it'll be sold
to cover the cost, of course.
549
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,150
And some of it
goes to Maggie.
550
00:23:05,220 --> 00:23:07,520
The rest of it'll go
to my private collection.
551
00:23:07,590 --> 00:23:09,080
What about
the Indians?
552
00:23:09,590 --> 00:23:11,150
What about them?
553
00:23:11,590 --> 00:23:14,430
A lot of people say this
technically belongs to them.
554
00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:15,550
Why?
555
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:17,330
'Cause they
put it there.
556
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,420
Yeah, well,
I found it. So?
557
00:23:19,870 --> 00:23:22,360
So you found it, your culture
didn't create it, Maurice.
558
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,430
Oh, come on, Stevens.
559
00:23:24,510 --> 00:23:26,530
Don't give that
revisionist crap.
560
00:23:26,610 --> 00:23:29,010
I mean,
finders keepers, okay?
561
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:30,630
Besides,
if the Indians had it...
562
00:23:30,710 --> 00:23:33,200
what do you think they'd do
with it, they'd sell it off.
563
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,550
You're lucky, it's in the
hands of a serious collector...
564
00:23:35,620 --> 00:23:38,550
who knows its value and has the
wherewithal to keep it together.
565
00:23:38,620 --> 00:23:40,750
Hey! Maurice!
566
00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:44,280
Maggie, didn't we talk about
you using the back door, dear?
567
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:46,380
Maurice, I've changed my
mind. I want you out of here.
568
00:23:46,460 --> 00:23:48,590
Well, what seems to be
the problem, little lady?
569
00:23:48,660 --> 00:23:51,260
The problem is that I want
all of you men off my property.
570
00:23:51,330 --> 00:23:53,270
And if you call me
little lady one more time...
571
00:23:53,330 --> 00:23:54,670
I'm gonna punch you
in the nose!
572
00:23:54,740 --> 00:23:55,900
Now, Maggie-
573
00:23:55,970 --> 00:23:57,270
Don't now Maggie me,
Maurice.
574
00:23:57,340 --> 00:24:00,640
I mean it, everyone out!
Scat! Shoo!
575
00:24:00,710 --> 00:24:01,770
Shoo!
576
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,670
Maggie, there's no need
to get upset here.
577
00:24:03,740 --> 00:24:05,040
I'm not upset,
Maurice.
578
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:06,910
Well, O'Connell,
you're upset, I mean-
579
00:24:06,980 --> 00:24:08,570
No, this is not upset.
580
00:24:08,650 --> 00:24:10,880
No, upset is collapsing
on your bed in tears...
581
00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:12,580
because you weren't
invited to the prom.
582
00:24:12,650 --> 00:24:13,980
No, this is empowered.
583
00:24:14,060 --> 00:24:15,580
You know what empowered is?
584
00:24:15,660 --> 00:24:17,450
Well, empowered is
Anne Boleyn laughing...
585
00:24:17,530 --> 00:24:18,990
on the way
to the chopping block...
586
00:24:19,060 --> 00:24:21,720
apologizing to her executioner
for her small neck.
587
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:22,850
That's empowered.
588
00:24:22,930 --> 00:24:24,420
Do you think a man
would have done that?
589
00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:25,760
No, a man wouldn't
have had the guts.
590
00:24:25,830 --> 00:24:26,930
He would have peed
in his pants.
591
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,490
He would've begged for mercy. But
Anne didn't even break a sweat.
592
00:24:29,570 --> 00:24:31,440
You know why?
Because she was empowered.
593
00:24:31,540 --> 00:24:33,840
She knew who she was
and I know who I am...
594
00:24:33,910 --> 00:24:36,540
and I want all you men
off my property!
595
00:24:36,710 --> 00:24:38,610
Hey, hey, hey.
Now!
596
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,010
Hats off to you,
Maggie!
597
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,070
You know, Maurice, it's
interesting 'cause in many...
598
00:24:43,150 --> 00:24:45,520
Mesolithic societies,
the woman's role-
599
00:24:45,590 --> 00:24:48,280
Oh, cram it, you tall,
skinny, male twerp!
600
00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:51,020
Now, come on, guys,
I really mean it, off!
601
00:24:51,090 --> 00:24:53,420
Maggie, look here.
602
00:24:53,490 --> 00:24:55,860
Look, we have
a contract here.
603
00:24:55,930 --> 00:24:57,420
Contract?
Yeah.
604
00:24:57,500 --> 00:24:58,860
You and I
have a contract?
605
00:24:58,930 --> 00:25:00,330
Well, Maurice,
would you like to know...
606
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:01,530
what I think
of this contract?
607
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,470
This is what I think
of this contract. Hey.
608
00:25:03,540 --> 00:25:05,400
I never wanted this
contract in the first place.
609
00:25:05,470 --> 00:25:06,800
Hey, hold on there.
610
00:25:06,870 --> 00:25:09,540
Mmm, mmm. Really good contract,
Maurice. Delicious contract.
611
00:25:09,610 --> 00:25:10,980
Do you have any more
of these contracts?
612
00:25:11,050 --> 00:25:13,070
Maybe we'd better
talk about this later.
613
00:25:13,150 --> 00:25:15,240
Good idea, excellent idea.
614
00:25:16,050 --> 00:25:19,850
Hey, boys! Don't forget your little
pails and shovels. That's right.
615
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,690
Take your tinker toys
and scram! Scoot!
616
00:25:24,660 --> 00:25:25,890
Vámonos!
617
00:25:29,060 --> 00:25:33,190
There's the peelers
and knives.
618
00:25:33,570 --> 00:25:36,130
Towel, right.
619
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,700
Vegetables.
Okay, Ed, I'm all set.
620
00:25:40,140 --> 00:25:41,870
Ready when you are.
621
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:48,040
Hello, folks. I'm Ed Chigliak,
your host for Apocalypse Now.
622
00:25:48,580 --> 00:25:51,210
A documentary series
on the end of life...
623
00:25:51,290 --> 00:25:52,880
and the world
as we know it.
624
00:25:52,950 --> 00:25:56,190
Now I'd like you to meet a friend
of mine, Michael Monroe. Mike.
625
00:25:56,260 --> 00:25:57,990
Okay, hold on one second.
626
00:25:58,060 --> 00:25:59,320
Okay, Ed.
627
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,220
Hello, I'm Michael Monroe.
628
00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:06,860
I have Multiple Chemical
Sensitivity or MCS.
629
00:26:07,030 --> 00:26:09,660
Generally referred to
as environmental illness.
630
00:26:09,740 --> 00:26:14,330
Ed, here, has asked me to talk
to you today about pesticides.
631
00:26:14,410 --> 00:26:17,940
Those insidious chemical toxins
used by the agri-business...
632
00:26:18,010 --> 00:26:19,810
particularly on bland...
633
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,680
scientifically altered
fruits and vegetables...
634
00:26:22,750 --> 00:26:25,240
consumed in the average
American home.
635
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:29,480
What we have here
are two Better Boy tomatoes.
636
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,920
They're washed. Now, they
may appear to be the same...
637
00:26:33,460 --> 00:26:36,920
but this one, is from
a typical supermarket...
638
00:26:37,260 --> 00:26:40,360
and this one, was grown
in my own organic garden.
639
00:26:40,430 --> 00:26:42,300
First the homegrown beauty.
640
00:26:42,370 --> 00:26:45,310
What I'm doing is
gently rubbing the tomato...
641
00:26:45,370 --> 00:26:47,900
on the exposed skin
of my forearm.
642
00:26:48,810 --> 00:26:52,270
We're trying to see if there's
any epidermal reaction.
643
00:26:53,310 --> 00:26:54,340
Nothing.
644
00:26:54,420 --> 00:26:56,710
The exposed skin
is perfectly normal.
645
00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:00,140
Now, let's try that
supermarket variety.
646
00:27:02,390 --> 00:27:05,450
Okay, now I'm already
feeling a reaction.
647
00:27:06,060 --> 00:27:08,760
It's hot, itchy.
It's starting to burn.
648
00:27:10,260 --> 00:27:12,700
There it is, see?
See the redness?
649
00:27:12,770 --> 00:27:15,760
Now, if I'd kept that up
another minute...
650
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:19,000
you'd see that redness
turn into some ugly welts.
651
00:27:19,770 --> 00:27:20,930
So...
652
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:23,700
Ed.
653
00:27:25,350 --> 00:27:26,970
Sorry, Mike, cut, cut.
654
00:27:27,250 --> 00:27:29,150
But I'm not through,
I've got a whole spiel...
655
00:27:29,220 --> 00:27:31,510
on non-toxic
insecticidal soaps.
656
00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:33,850
I'm sorry, Mike...
657
00:27:34,260 --> 00:27:36,590
I asked you to do this.
Let's just forget about it.
658
00:27:36,660 --> 00:27:37,820
Why? What's wrong?
659
00:27:37,890 --> 00:27:39,190
Well, Mike...
660
00:27:39,260 --> 00:27:42,060
if that tomato's gonna
make your arm all bumpy...
661
00:27:42,130 --> 00:27:44,120
well, what's it gonna do
to the inside of you?
662
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:45,290
And that's just one thing.
663
00:27:45,370 --> 00:27:47,330
There's a lot of fruit
out there.
664
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,560
Bananas, oranges, coconuts.
665
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:53,040
What are they doing to us,
you know? I mean soon...
666
00:27:53,510 --> 00:27:56,140
kids aren't even gonna be able to
take apples to their teachers...
667
00:27:56,210 --> 00:27:58,010
on the first day
of school, Mike.
668
00:27:59,010 --> 00:28:01,850
And what about pumpkin pie
on Thanksgiving?
669
00:28:02,220 --> 00:28:05,120
Mashed potatoes and gravy?
Alas, Mike...
670
00:28:05,850 --> 00:28:07,680
the end of the world...
671
00:28:08,490 --> 00:28:10,150
it's already here.
672
00:28:24,110 --> 00:28:25,500
You're going about that
all wrong.
673
00:28:26,740 --> 00:28:28,670
Just take a screwdriver
and thrash the hinges.
674
00:28:28,740 --> 00:28:32,080
I've cracked bigger locks than
this before. It's no big deal.
675
00:28:32,150 --> 00:28:34,140
Look at the very minimum,
you take the whole box...
676
00:28:34,220 --> 00:28:36,740
you open it up in the relative
comfort of your own four walls.
677
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,520
It's only chump change
in here, anyway.
678
00:28:45,690 --> 00:28:47,680
We all have our off days.
679
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,660
It's not that, Chris.
680
00:28:49,730 --> 00:28:52,130
It's like I've gone
totally mental.
681
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:53,930
Who's the babe?
682
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,130
How'd you know I was losing
it on account of a babe?
683
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,100
Because it's always a babe.
684
00:28:58,170 --> 00:28:59,940
I thought ripping
something off might...
685
00:29:00,010 --> 00:29:02,240
help me snap out
of it, but...
686
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,470
Come on, who's the filly?
687
00:29:04,550 --> 00:29:06,270
She works at the bar.
688
00:29:06,350 --> 00:29:07,810
Shelly Tambo.
689
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:09,370
How'd you know?
690
00:29:09,450 --> 00:29:12,280
How'd I know? 'Cause there's
only 849 people in this town.
691
00:29:12,350 --> 00:29:13,910
You know,
the babes kind of stand out.
692
00:29:13,990 --> 00:29:15,680
I get all geeky
thinking about her.
693
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,380
Yeah, love will do that
to you, you know.
694
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,050
It will?
695
00:29:21,430 --> 00:29:23,020
Now and forever.
696
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,000
Love sucks.
697
00:29:26,930 --> 00:29:28,030
True.
698
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:30,430
Maggie.
Holling.
699
00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:32,060
Hello, O'Connell.
700
00:29:32,140 --> 00:29:33,230
What?
701
00:29:33,970 --> 00:29:35,370
Just, hello.
702
00:29:36,380 --> 00:29:38,640
Hey, is it true
what Marilyn said?
703
00:29:39,350 --> 00:29:41,580
Well, you'll have to give
me a hint, Fleischman.
704
00:29:41,650 --> 00:29:43,670
You're gonna rebury
all that stuff?
705
00:29:43,750 --> 00:29:46,550
Yeah. It's true. Not that
it's any of your business.
706
00:29:46,620 --> 00:29:48,550
No, I think it's great.
707
00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:50,210
Don't patronize me,
Fleischman.
708
00:29:50,290 --> 00:29:53,560
I'm not. I mean, I think it's very
impressive that you have the courage...
709
00:29:53,630 --> 00:29:55,250
of your convictions
to rebury that stuff.
710
00:29:55,330 --> 00:29:57,890
Especially considering
the value, the history.
711
00:29:57,970 --> 00:30:00,530
Do you ever stop to think about
that word, Fleischman? Do you?
712
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,040
History. His story.
713
00:30:03,500 --> 00:30:05,530
You don't need a degree
to figure that out.
714
00:30:05,610 --> 00:30:09,370
Everything about the way we perceive
things in life is determined by men.
715
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,540
And I, for one,
I'm sick of it.
716
00:30:11,610 --> 00:30:15,170
And I'm not gonna have my past or
any other woman's past mauled...
717
00:30:15,250 --> 00:30:17,880
groped or otherwise pawed
by a bunch of men...
718
00:30:17,950 --> 00:30:20,680
for the benefit of other men.
Got it?
719
00:30:20,750 --> 00:30:21,950
Well...
720
00:30:30,630 --> 00:30:32,100
You feeling all right,
O'Connell?
721
00:30:32,170 --> 00:30:33,830
Fine, Fleischman.
722
00:30:34,100 --> 00:30:35,590
You just seem...
723
00:30:35,670 --> 00:30:37,640
Oh, great.
Here we go again.
724
00:30:37,710 --> 00:30:38,730
What?
725
00:30:38,810 --> 00:30:41,240
A little PMS, right?
Typical.
726
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,880
Men can beat each other up
over nothing...
727
00:30:43,940 --> 00:30:46,340
and get all bloody and
that's okay. That's normal.
728
00:30:46,410 --> 00:30:48,900
But let a woman get a little
emotional about something...
729
00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:51,010
a little cranky, all of a
sudden she's out of control.
730
00:30:51,090 --> 00:30:52,380
She needs
medical attention.
731
00:30:52,450 --> 00:30:54,420
Look, O'Connell,
forgive me for saying so...
732
00:30:54,490 --> 00:30:57,250
but I think that you are letting
your pathological fear of men...
733
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:59,950
corrupt your experience here.
734
00:31:00,790 --> 00:31:03,660
Wrong, Fleischman.
I'm not afraid of men.
735
00:31:03,730 --> 00:31:06,860
It's your perspective that's
pathological. It's your perspective.
736
00:31:06,930 --> 00:31:09,270
And I'm talking about the royal
pain in the butt, you, here...
737
00:31:09,340 --> 00:31:10,360
that needs changing.
738
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:12,460
You know, you think you
would've ever had the guts...
739
00:31:12,540 --> 00:31:13,840
to say that
to Empress Theodora?
740
00:31:13,910 --> 00:31:15,900
You would have been on
your knees, Fleischman. Who?
741
00:31:15,980 --> 00:31:19,240
Empress Theodora.
Hello? Ring any bells?
742
00:31:19,610 --> 00:31:21,480
She ruled Asia Minor.
743
00:31:21,550 --> 00:31:23,520
She saved Justinian's ass.
744
00:31:24,450 --> 00:31:25,680
Figures.
745
00:31:25,750 --> 00:31:28,220
If it's her story,
it's not history.
746
00:31:28,290 --> 00:31:30,350
Look at Catherine the Great,
for example.
747
00:31:30,790 --> 00:31:31,820
Okay, why?
748
00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:34,330
Well, Catherine the Great,
she ruled Russia.
749
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:38,460
She fought wars. She corresponded
with Voltaire and Diderot.
750
00:31:38,530 --> 00:31:40,000
But what do you think
men remember?
751
00:31:40,070 --> 00:31:43,870
The fact that she had a thing for
horses which is apocryphal, anyway.
752
00:31:43,940 --> 00:31:46,460
A thing? Even if it isn't, who cares?
753
00:31:46,540 --> 00:31:48,510
Nobody made a peep
when Jack Kennedy...
754
00:31:48,580 --> 00:31:50,570
was playing musical beds
in the White House.
755
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,610
And what about J. Edgar Hoover
and his male squeeze?
756
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,410
How do those rumors
get started anyway?
757
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,650
Probably some menacing little male
courtier who got passed over...
758
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:01,310
for palace favors
by a prize stallion!
759
00:32:05,860 --> 00:32:07,550
See, it comes down
to choices.
760
00:32:07,630 --> 00:32:08,990
Love or delinquency, man.
761
00:32:09,060 --> 00:32:11,830
You've gotta make a choice.
You can't have both.
762
00:32:13,270 --> 00:32:14,330
Why not?
763
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:15,700
It doesn't work
out that way.
764
00:32:15,770 --> 00:32:17,760
Being a delinquent
is like being an artist...
765
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,770
or an athlete.
You got to train at it.
766
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:23,470
You got to work every day,
or else you lose your chops.
767
00:32:24,010 --> 00:32:25,100
Yeah.
768
00:32:26,010 --> 00:32:29,410
You don't want to be in love,
man, love slows you down. I mean...
769
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:32,380
next thing you know, you're not
the fastest gun in the West anymore.
770
00:32:32,450 --> 00:32:35,550
You got young punks coming up
to try and step on your turf.
771
00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:36,820
You think you still got it.
772
00:32:36,890 --> 00:32:39,480
You want to show these
young punks who's top punk.
773
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,190
Next thing you know, you take
a job you're not ready for...
774
00:32:42,260 --> 00:32:45,130
and you're doing two-to-five in
the joint and your old lady's...
775
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:48,400
making indentations in the back of
somebody else's Trans-Am somewhere.
776
00:32:48,470 --> 00:32:49,870
Know what I mean?
777
00:32:49,940 --> 00:32:51,300
True story?
778
00:32:51,370 --> 00:32:53,140
Take it to the bank.
779
00:32:55,340 --> 00:32:56,400
No.
780
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,040
So, which one
do I choose?
781
00:32:59,550 --> 00:33:01,010
Love or crime?
782
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:05,180
Well, you gotta weigh it out
for yourself. I mean...
783
00:33:05,390 --> 00:33:06,980
look at the pluses
and minuses.
784
00:33:07,050 --> 00:33:08,720
Crime, the pluses.
785
00:33:09,090 --> 00:33:11,460
It's tax free.
It's a kick in the pants.
786
00:33:11,530 --> 00:33:14,150
You make your own hours. You
meet new and interesting people.
787
00:33:14,230 --> 00:33:16,720
On the minus side,
no medical plan...
788
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,030
no job security,
early burnout.
789
00:33:19,300 --> 00:33:22,890
Most crooks I know are
like NFL linemen at 30, man.
790
00:33:22,970 --> 00:33:25,730
They're either crippled,
retired, or dead.
791
00:33:27,740 --> 00:33:29,300
What about love?
792
00:33:29,380 --> 00:33:31,070
You've seen the minuses.
793
00:33:32,710 --> 00:33:34,740
You turn into
a total dork.
794
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,250
What about the pluses?
795
00:33:39,150 --> 00:33:41,180
It's irrelevant, you know.
796
00:33:41,490 --> 00:33:43,720
Love is, period.
797
00:33:47,260 --> 00:33:49,890
"Ah, penny, brown penny,
brown penny
798
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,160
"I am looped
in the loops of her hair"
799
00:33:55,470 --> 00:33:56,630
Yeats.
800
00:34:00,870 --> 00:34:03,270
Mad Max, The Road Warrior...
801
00:34:03,740 --> 00:34:07,410
Soylent Green, Silent Running,
Planet of the Apes...
802
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,210
Blade Runner, no one listens.
803
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:10,440
Get up, Ed.
804
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:14,610
The average American citizen
dumps 3,000 pounds of trash...
805
00:34:14,690 --> 00:34:17,020
into the environment
every year.
806
00:34:17,260 --> 00:34:18,820
I'm going to open now.
807
00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:21,160
It just seems like the
only thing left to do is...
808
00:34:21,230 --> 00:34:24,160
for a responsible citizen,
is kill yourself.
809
00:34:24,230 --> 00:34:25,760
Up.
Oh.
810
00:34:26,470 --> 00:34:28,460
I'm going
to kick you out, Ed.
811
00:34:28,540 --> 00:34:30,630
Go find something to do.
812
00:34:30,700 --> 00:34:33,200
Ruth-Anne, I can't
make movies anymore.
813
00:34:33,270 --> 00:34:35,100
Well, I'm sorry
about that, honey.
814
00:34:35,180 --> 00:34:37,640
But read a book.
Take a walk.
815
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:41,270
Clean your apartment,
chop wood.
816
00:34:41,350 --> 00:34:42,370
But...
817
00:34:42,450 --> 00:34:43,470
Go.
818
00:34:45,090 --> 00:34:48,250
One Mexican omelet
and seven-grain waffle.
819
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:49,720
Shelly, I gotta
talk to you.
820
00:34:49,790 --> 00:34:53,450
Brad, where have you been?
The dishes are piling up.
821
00:34:53,530 --> 00:34:55,460
I'm splitting.
What?
822
00:34:55,530 --> 00:34:57,660
I'm going back
to that bogus camp.
823
00:34:57,730 --> 00:34:59,700
I gotta show you
something.
824
00:35:02,700 --> 00:35:03,860
Wow!
825
00:35:03,940 --> 00:35:05,200
I did it myself.
826
00:35:05,270 --> 00:35:08,760
I've never seen anything so
totally cool in my entire life.
827
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:09,870
Did it hurt?
828
00:35:09,940 --> 00:35:11,040
It's ballpoint.
829
00:35:11,110 --> 00:35:12,080
Oh.
830
00:35:12,150 --> 00:35:14,270
Look, Shelly.
I want you to be my woman.
831
00:35:14,350 --> 00:35:16,180
I can't get you
out of my mind.
832
00:35:16,250 --> 00:35:18,950
I've wrecked three pairs of
underwear just dreaming about you.
833
00:35:19,020 --> 00:35:20,750
No kiddin'?
Yeah.
834
00:35:20,820 --> 00:35:23,690
It's been a long time
since someone said that to me.
835
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,890
I'm going to do my time at camp,
and then I'll go back to junior high.
836
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:29,360
Get into auto shop.
Learn a trade like Chris.
837
00:35:29,430 --> 00:35:30,450
Cool.
838
00:35:30,530 --> 00:35:33,020
So we could shack up
together. Okay?
839
00:35:33,170 --> 00:35:34,660
Thanks, Brad.
840
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:37,130
Like I am really flattered.
841
00:35:37,700 --> 00:35:38,860
But I can't.
842
00:35:39,110 --> 00:35:40,370
Why not?
843
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,740
Brad, you're
only 12 years old.
844
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:44,200
So?
845
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,580
Romeo and Juliet
were only 14.
846
00:35:46,650 --> 00:35:47,670
They were?
847
00:35:47,750 --> 00:35:49,550
Yeah. That's what
Chris said.
848
00:35:49,620 --> 00:35:50,710
Hmm.
849
00:35:51,050 --> 00:35:52,920
Well, what about
the old guy?
850
00:35:52,990 --> 00:35:54,780
He's gonna
stroke out soon.
851
00:35:54,860 --> 00:35:56,760
Who's gonna
light your fire then?
852
00:35:56,820 --> 00:35:59,550
Holling's engine
just keeps going and going.
853
00:35:59,630 --> 00:36:01,590
Look, Shelly,
you've gotta come with me.
854
00:36:01,660 --> 00:36:03,600
I'll be good.
I'll be different.
855
00:36:03,660 --> 00:36:05,150
I'll be anything you want.
856
00:36:05,230 --> 00:36:08,000
You know, Brad,
when I first met you...
857
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:11,300
I thought you were just
an obnoxious little creep.
858
00:36:11,370 --> 00:36:12,930
But now...
859
00:36:13,540 --> 00:36:17,030
I think you're gonna be one
primo dude with something to say.
860
00:36:17,110 --> 00:36:19,340
A guy most girls dream about.
861
00:36:19,810 --> 00:36:21,870
Brad when you nail
the right chick...
862
00:36:21,950 --> 00:36:24,280
she's gonna be
one lucky dudette.
863
00:36:24,890 --> 00:36:26,750
But that's not
gonna be me, hon.
864
00:36:26,820 --> 00:36:29,020
You're sweet and charming
and all, but...
865
00:36:29,090 --> 00:36:31,580
Holling owns the keys
to my pants...
866
00:36:31,890 --> 00:36:33,360
and my heart.
867
00:36:38,970 --> 00:36:41,130
Pardon the perspiration.
868
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,930
It's part
of my daily detox.
869
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:47,500
30 minutes on the bike,
30 on the NordicTrack.
870
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:50,670
Poly-unsaturated oil.
871
00:36:51,780 --> 00:36:53,470
Promotes excretion.
872
00:36:54,150 --> 00:36:55,240
Right.
873
00:36:56,380 --> 00:36:57,850
So what's up?
874
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:00,450
Jurassic Park.
Hmm?
875
00:37:00,790 --> 00:37:02,720
It's this new film,
Spielberg's doing.
876
00:37:02,790 --> 00:37:04,280
Richard Attenborough...
877
00:37:05,230 --> 00:37:07,420
he clones these dinosaurs
from DNA...
878
00:37:07,490 --> 00:37:09,190
and they get loose
and kill everyone.
879
00:37:09,430 --> 00:37:10,620
Great.
880
00:37:10,700 --> 00:37:11,930
That's what I thought.
881
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:13,830
And that, Mike,
is what gave me the idea.
882
00:37:13,900 --> 00:37:16,030
What? You want to
make another movie? No.
883
00:37:16,100 --> 00:37:18,090
Oh. So what's the idea?
884
00:37:18,170 --> 00:37:20,200
It's the DNA thing, Mike.
885
00:37:20,270 --> 00:37:22,260
You want to clone dinosaurs?
886
00:37:22,340 --> 00:37:24,210
No. I wouldn't know
how to do that.
887
00:37:24,610 --> 00:37:26,140
So?
Well, so...
888
00:37:26,450 --> 00:37:28,440
the Earth is gonna end, right?
889
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,210
But maybe aliens
will land here someday.
890
00:37:31,620 --> 00:37:32,640
Possible.
891
00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:35,380
Mike, according to Unsolved
Mysteries, it's already happened.
892
00:37:35,460 --> 00:37:37,390
Oh, is that right?
Uh-huh.
893
00:37:37,460 --> 00:37:39,760
Say, they find
some plant DNA.
894
00:37:40,430 --> 00:37:43,400
Well, they could clone the whole
ecosystem. Well, the plant part, anyway.
895
00:37:43,460 --> 00:37:45,950
So, what you're saying is that
you want to collect...
896
00:37:46,030 --> 00:37:48,260
genetic samples of plants.
897
00:37:48,340 --> 00:37:50,170
Just like Johnny Appleseed.
898
00:37:50,240 --> 00:37:52,430
Well, but in reverse,
because...
899
00:37:52,510 --> 00:37:55,070
he was sowing the seeds
and I'll be harvesting them.
900
00:37:55,140 --> 00:37:56,610
That's a great idea, Ed.
901
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:57,700
It is?
902
00:37:57,780 --> 00:37:59,140
Absolutely.
903
00:38:00,180 --> 00:38:01,840
Good, where do we start?
904
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:05,720
Oh, well, when you're tackling such a
large subject you have to be systematic.
905
00:38:05,790 --> 00:38:06,840
Absolutely.
906
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:08,680
There's a lot of plants
out there.
907
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:09,720
Right.
908
00:38:09,790 --> 00:38:13,420
Over 250,000 species
of angiosperms alone.
909
00:38:14,490 --> 00:38:17,330
We have to start off
with something simple.
910
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:21,130
Something we can really
get our hands on.
911
00:38:21,500 --> 00:38:24,270
Something like ferns.
912
00:38:24,340 --> 00:38:25,330
Ferns?
913
00:38:25,410 --> 00:38:26,770
Polypodiophyta.
914
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,170
Good idea.
915
00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:32,340
The most primitive plants to
develop a true vascular system.
916
00:38:32,910 --> 00:38:35,780
See, prior to
the Carboniferous era, Ed...
917
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:38,780
ferns were the most dominant
vegetation on Earth.
918
00:38:39,220 --> 00:38:40,240
Ferns, huh?
919
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:41,410
Yeah.
920
00:38:41,590 --> 00:38:43,180
How about
some chamomile tea?
921
00:38:43,260 --> 00:38:44,520
Oh, sure.
922
00:38:49,500 --> 00:38:50,860
Hey, guys.
923
00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:52,960
Are we late?
924
00:38:53,030 --> 00:38:54,660
The bus will be
here any minute.
925
00:38:56,140 --> 00:38:57,600
Brad?
926
00:38:58,410 --> 00:38:59,770
I brought you something.
927
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:01,030
You did?
928
00:39:01,310 --> 00:39:02,780
I've been making it
for Holling...
929
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:04,940
but with you going off
to camp and all...
930
00:39:05,010 --> 00:39:06,810
I thought you might
need it more than him.
931
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:08,780
And Holling said
it was okay.
932
00:39:08,850 --> 00:39:09,870
Yeah?
933
00:39:09,950 --> 00:39:11,850
So, well, try it on.
934
00:39:12,950 --> 00:39:16,620
It's wool, well, mostly.
You like it?
935
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:18,590
Are you kidding?
936
00:39:18,660 --> 00:39:20,990
I'm never taking
this off. Never.
937
00:39:21,060 --> 00:39:23,290
Hey, killer, I got you this...
938
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:25,630
for the ride.
939
00:39:25,700 --> 00:39:27,100
Tales of Kipling.
940
00:39:27,170 --> 00:39:29,800
Yeah, I didn't think you were
ready for Leaves of Grass.
941
00:39:29,870 --> 00:39:31,530
"'Now this is the Law
of the Jungle
942
00:39:31,610 --> 00:39:33,370
"'As old and as true
as the sky
943
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:35,840
"'And the Wolf that shall
keep it may prosper
944
00:39:35,910 --> 00:39:38,380
"'But the Wolf that shall
break it must die'
945
00:39:38,450 --> 00:39:39,940
"Later, Chris. "
946
00:39:40,550 --> 00:39:41,570
Thanks, man.
947
00:39:41,650 --> 00:39:43,120
Sure. All right.
948
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:45,670
Well.
949
00:39:45,750 --> 00:39:47,690
Well, here she comes.
950
00:39:48,420 --> 00:39:49,890
Right on schedule.
951
00:39:51,390 --> 00:39:52,590
Good luck.
952
00:39:52,660 --> 00:39:54,130
Well, see you.
953
00:39:55,030 --> 00:39:56,220
Brad.
954
00:40:00,100 --> 00:40:01,190
Bye.
955
00:40:01,430 --> 00:40:02,960
Oh, man, I'm hurtin'.
956
00:40:05,170 --> 00:40:07,230
Come on, son, let's go!
957
00:40:07,310 --> 00:40:08,710
Take care, Brad.
958
00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:13,040
Hey, Shelly. I'm coming back
for you in five years.
959
00:40:13,580 --> 00:40:14,600
No offense, man.
960
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:16,440
Come on. Take a seat, please.
961
00:40:19,950 --> 00:40:21,050
Bye, Brad!
962
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:22,520
Bye!
963
00:40:30,660 --> 00:40:31,790
Scalpel.
964
00:40:31,870 --> 00:40:33,160
Scalpel.
965
00:40:39,140 --> 00:40:41,500
Tweezers.
966
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:52,110
What was this?
Early Girl?
967
00:40:52,590 --> 00:40:53,810
Beefsteak.
968
00:40:53,890 --> 00:40:55,010
Right.
969
00:40:55,190 --> 00:40:56,590
What's next?
970
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:58,220
Burpee Hybrid?
971
00:40:58,290 --> 00:40:59,620
Go for it.
972
00:41:01,900 --> 00:41:03,420
What do you want
to do after this?
973
00:41:03,500 --> 00:41:04,860
Bonny Best?
974
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:07,920
I'm not sure, Mike.
975
00:41:08,170 --> 00:41:09,970
Jubilee? Sunray?
976
00:41:11,740 --> 00:41:13,430
Possibly. Scalpel.
977
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:16,460
Scalpel.
978
00:41:21,620 --> 00:41:24,010
Tweezers.
979
00:41:30,790 --> 00:41:31,880
Don't damage
the seed.
980
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:32,950
Okay.
981
00:41:33,030 --> 00:41:34,820
Very good.
Voilà!
982
00:41:38,930 --> 00:41:40,260
Oh, that's good.
983
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:45,060
What are they
puttin' in now?
984
00:41:45,140 --> 00:41:46,440
The cradle.
985
00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:53,770
What is this?
986
00:41:53,850 --> 00:41:54,870
Single malt.
987
00:41:54,950 --> 00:41:57,140
Laphroaig.
It's 15 years old.
988
00:41:58,720 --> 00:41:59,810
Okay.
989
00:42:00,690 --> 00:42:03,920
Does anybody have anything
they'd like to say to begin?
990
00:42:03,990 --> 00:42:05,360
Anyone?
I don't know.
991
00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:07,280
I would.
992
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:08,550
Shelly.
993
00:42:08,630 --> 00:42:09,620
Well...
994
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,520
I just think it's really neat
that a bunch of us chicks...
995
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:15,830
can get together like this and
do something fun without men.
996
00:42:15,900 --> 00:42:18,430
I mean, there's no reason why
we can't do more girl stuff...
997
00:42:18,510 --> 00:42:19,770
in the future, you know.
998
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:22,670
Theme parties, sleepovers,
stuff like that.
999
00:42:22,910 --> 00:42:26,370
And, I really dig seeing
those dudes over there...
1000
00:42:26,450 --> 00:42:29,610
with nothing to do
except watch us and get horny.
1001
00:42:30,820 --> 00:42:32,840
Can you tell what
they're saying with those?
1002
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:35,820
I can't hear, but they seem
to be having a good time.
1003
00:42:35,890 --> 00:42:37,150
A good time.
Let me see.
1004
00:42:37,220 --> 00:42:39,350
How in the hell
can you tell?
1005
00:42:39,590 --> 00:42:42,250
I mean, nobody's fightin',
nobody's throwing anything.
1006
00:42:42,330 --> 00:42:43,350
Nobody's yellin'.
1007
00:42:43,430 --> 00:42:46,160
With men you can tell when
they're havin' a good time.
1008
00:42:47,070 --> 00:42:48,160
Ruth-Anne.
1009
00:42:48,230 --> 00:42:51,200
I thought we might want to put
something in from our own era.
1010
00:42:51,270 --> 00:42:52,600
Carrot peeler.
1011
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,310
What are they doing now?
1012
00:42:57,840 --> 00:42:59,070
I can't tell.
1013
00:42:59,150 --> 00:43:00,370
Something...
1014
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:03,110
Well, in laying our
sisters' things to rest...
1015
00:43:03,180 --> 00:43:05,080
I thought it would be
fitting to quote something...
1016
00:43:05,150 --> 00:43:08,520
from one of her contemporaries,
Mary Wollstonecraft...
1017
00:43:08,790 --> 00:43:11,220
who wrote these words
in 1792.
1018
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:17,450
"My own sex,
I hope, will excuse me...
1019
00:43:17,530 --> 00:43:20,360
"if I treat them
like rational creatures...
1020
00:43:20,530 --> 00:43:21,660
"instead of viewing them...
1021
00:43:21,740 --> 00:43:24,830
"as if they were in a state
of perpetual childhood.
1022
00:43:25,410 --> 00:43:27,810
"Dismissing those
pretty feminine phrases...
1023
00:43:27,870 --> 00:43:30,140
"which men
condescendingly use...
1024
00:43:30,210 --> 00:43:32,700
"to soften
our slavish dependence...
1025
00:43:33,310 --> 00:43:36,510
"and despising that
sweet docility of manners...
1026
00:43:36,620 --> 00:43:38,740
"supposed to be the sexual
characteristics...
1027
00:43:38,820 --> 00:43:40,680
"of the weaker vessel...
1028
00:43:40,750 --> 00:43:42,420
"I wish to show...
1029
00:43:42,720 --> 00:43:45,780
"that the first object
of laudable ambition...
1030
00:43:45,860 --> 00:43:48,690
"is to obtain a character
as a human being...
1031
00:43:49,330 --> 00:43:52,360
"regardless of
the distinction of sex. "
1032
00:43:52,430 --> 00:43:53,520
Amen.
1033
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:55,460
Good.
1034
00:43:55,540 --> 00:43:56,870
All right. Beautiful.
1035
00:43:56,940 --> 00:43:58,430
Okay.
1036
00:43:58,670 --> 00:44:00,970
It's really criminal.
1037
00:44:02,810 --> 00:44:04,900
I told you
we'd never get that rattle.
1038
00:44:04,980 --> 00:44:08,140
I just lost a wing in the Denver
Museum of Natural History...
1039
00:44:08,210 --> 00:44:10,210
and he's talking
about a rattle.
1040
00:44:11,050 --> 00:44:14,080
Well, as my old trapping buddy,
Bob Pickering, used to say...
1041
00:44:14,150 --> 00:44:16,180
when a woman gets a wild
hair about something...
1042
00:44:16,260 --> 00:44:18,120
you'd best just
get out of the road.
1043
00:44:18,190 --> 00:44:19,750
Well, I wouldn't
mind so much...
1044
00:44:19,830 --> 00:44:21,260
if it made the slightest
bit of sense.
1045
00:44:21,330 --> 00:44:22,690
But this is just stupid.
1046
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,700
Well, you can't look
for logic, Maurice.
1047
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:28,290
With women it seems that rabid
emotion is the justification...
1048
00:44:28,370 --> 00:44:29,560
for everything.
1049
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:32,730
"A woman uses her intelligence
to find reasons...
1050
00:44:32,810 --> 00:44:34,360
"to support her intuition. "
1051
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:40,670
G.K. Chesterton.
1052
00:44:45,390 --> 00:44:47,110
Well, I'm getting
a little cold.
1053
00:44:47,190 --> 00:44:48,710
So, I think
I'm going to head in.
1054
00:44:48,790 --> 00:44:50,380
Second.
See you guys.
1055
00:44:53,630 --> 00:44:55,030
Let's go home.
1056
00:44:57,660 --> 00:44:58,860
Are we ready?
1057
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:04,960
Can you handle that?
1058
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:06,230
Yeah.
75313
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