All language subtitles for good_morning_miss_bliss_s01e10_practical_jokes

When I wake up in the morning and the
alarm goes out in the morning, I don't

think I'll ever make it on time.

By the time I grab my books and I give
myself a look, I'm at the corner just in

time to see the bus fly by.

It's all right because I'm straight by
the bell.

If the teacher pops a test, I know I'm
in a mess and my dog ate all my homework

last night.

Riding on my chair, she won't know that
I'm there. If I can hand it in tomorrow,

it'll be all right.

It's all right, cause I'm safe out the
bell.

It's Who'd Hear Harvest Week, a time for
hayrides, bonfires, and practical

jokes, and everyone's fair game.

In my 11 years at JFK, no one's ever
successfully pulled a prank on me.

Maybe this year they'll stop trying.

You're taking quite a chance.

Hey, it's worth it to be in the history
books as the first ones to get Miss

Bliss. If this doesn't work, I got a
great way to get her.

Save it for next year, Screech. Watch
the pros.

You guys better hurry. Bliss just left
Felding's office.

Absolutely not.

Uh, Miss Bliss.

Nice try, Zach.

You and Lisa can take it down after
class.

Everyone take their seats.

Yes.

As I'm sure you'll all remember, today's
subject is our government's judicial

system.

Zach, can you shed some light on this,
please?

I planned on reading the chapter, but I
had to decide who to take to the hayride

on Friday.

And interviews ran a little longer than
expected.

What'd you promise him? No kiss
goodnight.

Okay. Okay, settle.

Now, in the United States, you're
presumed innocent until proven guilty.

Uh, Miss Bliss, would you mind telling
my parents that?

Who can tell me what the Fifth Amendment
is?

thou shalt not kill?

That's the fifth commandment, Samuel.

Didn't anyone do their homework?

Were you all too busy planning pranks?

Uh, Miss Bliss, I had trouble
understanding the homework.

Yeah, is there a chart that explains
this judicial stuff?

As a matter of fact, there is.

Why don't you guys just point an arrow?

Make sure they spell my name right in
the history books.

How does she always know?

Now, look.

These practical jokes have got to stop.

For a start, they're never going to
work.

Only a fool would fall for one of these.

about to begin. When Miss Bliss wasn't
looking, I put chili pepper in her

coleslaw. We'll see who gets her first.

I spiked Miss Bliss's tomato juice with
Tabasco sauce.

If any luck, when she sneezes, she'll
set off the sprinkler system.

Why are the kids looking at me?

They must be up to something.

Mr. Belding, will you just relax? You're
being paranoid.

I'm not paranoid.

I'm just sure they did something. They
always do.

That's why I brought my lunch from home.

I think you're overreacting. Oh, am I?

Last year they stole my hamburger and
glued my buns together.

I know why they're looking.

They got to my lunch.

Mr. Berling, you're right. You're not
paranoid.

You're way past that.

I can't eat anything. You go ahead.

Eat. Don't mind me.

That coleslaw looks good, Miss Bliss.

Oh, do you like some, Mr. Belding?

Well, maybe just a bite.

Really looking forward to this weekend.

Mrs. Belding and I are going to... Oh.

Oh.

Ohio?

Hawaii!

Oh.

Oh, that's better.

You know, for a minute there, I...

Very nice.

It was very funny.

Good morning, everyone. I have an
announcement to make.

Now, I realize it's harvest week, but we
have got to get through this material

on our judicial system.

So while you're in my class, I want
these practical jokes to stop.

Is that understood?

Yes.

Good. We will open our books at
chapter... Oh, my.

This person may have finally got you.

This is not funny.

Who put paint on my chair?

Okay, let me put it this way.

Who put paint on my chair?

change my sweater if the guilty party
hasn't come forward by the time I come

back the whole class will be punished

hey it wasn't me

we were all together that's right

Who's the guilty party?

Me. I did it.

I'm famous.

You? I'm going to go down in history,
Miss Bliss.

You're going down to the principal's
office, Mr. Powers, and pay for my

then you say you're innocent.

Which is it?

Can I plead insanity?

Sure. Take the easy way out.

There's only one way to settle this.

We'll have a trial. A trial?

Yes, a trial.

Tomorrow, this classroom will become a
court of law.

You'll find the guidelines for the trial
in chapter six and seven of your

textbooks. Samuel, your peers will
decide your fate.

Is it possible to get a new set of
peers?

All rise.

Court is now in session.

The Honorable Miss Bliss presiding.

Thank you, bailiff.

You may be seated.

I would like to begin by putting the...
Defendant at ease.

Samuel, if you're innocent, as you say
you are, trust in the system. It works.

Thank you, Miss Bliss.

I'll remember that in jail when I'm
stamping out your license plate.

Miss Prosecutor, you may begin.

I'd like to call a surprise witness.

Lisa Turtle.

Me? I didn't know you were going to call
me.

That's why they call it a surprise.

Now, Bailiff, would you swear it? the
witness, please?

Do you swear to tell the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

I do.

Do guys with curly hair turn you on?

No. The bailiff will stop hitting on the
witness.

Now, Miss Turtle, were you in the
cafeteria when the defendant announced

planning a prank on Miss Bliss?

Yes. He said that he was going to get
Miss Bliss and that he was looking for

volunteers to help him.

And yesterday, just before the crime,
did you see anything suspicious?

Yes.

Well, will you tell us what you saw?

I saw a suspicious person stash a can in
their locker. Your Honor, it was awful.

Tell us.

Is that suspicious person you saw in the
courtroom today?

Yes. It was that man. He's the one I
saw. I never forget his face.

No further questions, Your Honor.

Defense attorney, you may cross -examine
the witness.

Lisa, I notice you're wearing a band
-aid on your finger.

Tell us what happened. I broke a nail.

Oh, my.

No doubt a very traumatic experience.

The most. I was embarrassed to wave to
anyone I knew.

Aha. You mean you were under so much
stress you couldn't think?

Were you angry, upset, confused?

Yes. No.

I don't know.

Oh, great. I broke another nail.

This is awful.

Your Honor, can the bail -free strain
her for her own protection?

Bailers keep their distance.

What's going on here?

Oh, I'm trying to cheer up Mr. Belding.

Happy Harvest Week always makes him so
depressed.

And what's that?

Helium tank?

See, see, that's a... Uh -uh. See, our
union contract rule number 8861E clearly

states that devices like these must be
operated by a trained technician.

Someone like myself.

Milo, all you have to do is push...

The contract also states that you need
one and a half men for this job.

Don't do a thing.

I'll be right back with Shorty Beeman.

Milo, it's just one valve.

Has Miss Bliss picked up her mail yet?
Not yet, Mr. Belding.

Good. Then I still have time to nail
her.

I figure if you can't beat them, join
them.

Oh, nuts.

I just have to run to my classroom and
get a little more ribbon.

Thank you.

Morning, Mr. Felding.

Good morning, Miss Bliss.

Let me guess.

Alvin and the Chipmunks?

Oh, uh, would you get the phone for me,
Miss Bliss?

Ah, you'll have to be crafty about to
get me.

Oh,

by the way, this is for you.

A subpoena to appear in your class?

This is a joke, right? No, it's totally
legitimate.

Honest. See you in court.

Raise your right hand, Mr. Belding.

That's your left.

I know that. Just get on with it.

I would like to remind the witness that
this is a court of law and we will

follow the proper legal procedure.

Okay, okay.

Would you like to call another witness,
Mr. Belding?

Do you swear to tell the truth, the
whole truth? and nothing but the truth?

Of course I do. I'm a principal.

Counselor.

Now, Mr. Beldy, how well do you know the
defendant?

Not very well. Would you say that
because he's never been sent to your

for disciplinary action?

That's correct.

You usually remember the troublemakers.

Exactly. Like you, Zack.

Your Honor!

Will the witness please stick to the
fact?

Why not? I'm sticking to everything
else.

is a troublemaker? Of course not. Lisa
is a wonderful girl.

Then would it surprise you that this
wonderful girl helped rig the water

that drenched you? Mickey!

Lisa, I want to see you after class.

Thank you, Mr. Belding, for disproving
the Zack Morris theory.

But... Thank you. You may step down.

Nikki, do you have any other witnesses?

No, but I'd like to introduce some
evidence to the court.

These are some items I found in
Screech's locker.

A surgical mask?

This is what I had to wear to go in
there.

I'd like to introduce Exhibit A, a
paintbrush.

That's from my art class.

I object.

Your Honor, nobody gave her permission
to go into Screech's locker.

Under our Fourth Amendment, we're
protected against illegal search and

Very good, Zach.

All that evidence is inadmissible.

The jury will disregard what they've
just heard.

Court is adjourned until tomorrow.

Zach, what do you think of my chances?

Screech, I told you to look good.

I don't?

Mr. Morris, you may present your
witnesses.

I only have one witness, the defendant.

Please call Samuel Powers, a .k .a. the
screecher, a .k .a. the brush, a .k .a.

guilty as charged.

And I would ask, Your Honor, to instruct
the jury to disregard his clothing.

So noted.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Okay, but you've just weakened my entire
defense.

Mr. Morris, you may proceed.

Thank you, Your Honor.

And may I say, that's a lovely hairdo.

Oh, thank you.

But may I remind you that it's the jury,
not the judge, that decides the guilt

or innocence of your client?

So many lovely hairdos here today.

Would the counsel please keep the
kissing up to a minimum?

Oh, of course, Your Beautiful Honor.

Samuel Powers, did you do it? No.

No further questions. The defense rests.

Thank you, Perry Mason.

Miss Coleman.

You may cross -examine.

Mr. Powers, now, isn't it true, in front
of witnesses, you said, and I quote,

I'm going to get Miss Bliss.

Well, that's true, but... And that's why
you went to your locker that day, isn't

it? To get something to pull off your
vicious, practical joke.

I'd rather not say, but thanks for
asking.

Please answer the question.

Objection. Your Honor, I cite Chapter 7
of our textbook, the Fifth Amendment.

The defendant has a right not to
incriminate himself.

Sustained. No more questions.

You may step down.

You may now proceed with your closing
arguments.

Miss Coleman, please.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have
three simple questions.

Did Screech...

to get Miss Bliss?

Yes. Did Screech have the opportunity to
do it?

Yes. Was Screech clever enough to do it?

Make that two simple questions.

Thank you.

Mr. Morris, ladies and gentlemen of the
jury, Screech didn't do it, and nobody

has proven that he did.

Look at this face.

Those eyes.

These clothes.

Ask yourself one key question.

Hasn't he suffered enough?

Thank you. I rest my case.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you
will now deliberate and decide upon your

verdict.

What do you think? The longer they're
out, the better the chances.

They have a verdict, Your Honor.

C 'est la vie, old buddy.

Will the defendant please rise?

The bailiff will read the verdict.

Whoa!

Do you mind sharing that whoa with the
rest of us?

The jury finds the defendant, Samuel
Powers, not guilty on lack of evidence.

The person who did it is in this room.
And I want them to stand up right now.

Huh?

You pulled the prank on yourself?

That's right.

No one was paying any attention in my
class.

And I figured this was the only way that
I could get you to study those chapters

on our judicial system.

I feel so... You.

it is missed. See you on Monday. Have a
lovely weekend.

You know what this means?

This means nobody's gotten a split.

And they never will.

You're a real sport.

I'm glad you're not mad at me. Are you
kidding?

This has been the best week of my life.
I was a celebrity.

Then I hope you'll forgive my court for
not finding you guilty.

Stupid thing.

This is one thing that bothers me,
though.

Since I painted the chair, why did you
take the fifth?

Here, let me.

Previously

on

Dawson's Creek.

You have to understand, Dawson. In the
movies, the hero always punches out the

bad guy.

He was upset.

Yeah. I'm sure I would be, too, if I let
you slip through my fingers.

Your mother and I have decided to spend
some time apart.

Don't worry about Mom. With this new
medication she's on, she's doing so much

better. Mom pulled another Sybil last
week. Let's be honest with each other.

You're special.

No.