Original subtitles

Previously on Three Moons Over Milford... By the time you see this,

journey that should take me to the seven continents to conquer the seven great

peaks. I can't believe Sarah Louise expects you to take care of her.

Are you making fun of me?

No, I'm trying to respect you, but I want you to tell me about the path.

I think it's a fraternity for lost souls who like big words.

You know you asked her what happened.

I'll let David at that, okay? The path is about transforming ourselves so that

we put our energy into finding our own happiness.

I'm working for Michelle Graybar. Michelle Graybar?

You're working for Graybar Realty. Our first rule of real estate, Michelle

loses a commission.

I'd be interested in kissing you.

It's like I said on our wedding day, you'll always be safe with me.

Hi, Heather and Mark.

I'm here in a suburban neighborhood on the west side of Milford with a family

whose afternoon barbecue got a whole lot hotter than anyone ever expected.

Like five blocks from where we used to live.

Could have hit our old house.

Mm -hmm.

Too bad it didn't.

I can't believe you just said that.

That would put a lot of work into designing that place. Yeah, well, don't

into your head that we're going back there, Alec.

Is anybody living there? Don't know.

Don't go by.

I never go by that house. Never, never, never, never, never. Well, it doesn't

bother me. I'm going to go check it out.

What's that?

Nothing. Who are you aiming?

Nobody.

Is that Lydia?

Yeah.

Ask her to come by.

I already did.

Good.

Hi there, Mitch. Hey, brother.

Jonah around?

He's busy.

Why don't you tell him I'm here and then he can decide whether he wants to see

me. What is it with you, the sudden interest in a 15 -year -old boy you

know? I could ask the same thing about you.

Jonah?

Jonah, you in there?

You leave or I call the cops.

Touch more of the inner Michelle.

There.

Perfect woman seeks perfect man. I won't burden you with my feelings if you'll

do the same.

I've got the time if you've got the bandwidth.

Sexy dude 44.

Who are you kidding?

Damn, three minutes.

We're closed, sir.

No shoes, no shirt, no service.

Step in.

Stop.

Take yourself deeper.

Let's see it.

Nobody likes to get a letter from the IRS.

You've been blue. Are you okay?

That Jonah thing is driving me a little crazy.

Anything I can do?

I don't know. Ever since he moved in with Mitch and the lunatics, I haven't

able to get in touch with him.

So?

Tell me if it's a formality.

It's not a formality, no.

It's not?

Carl is being investigated for federal tax evasion. They want to look at

records. Tax evasion? That's ridiculous. Carl would never do that.

I don't know if you're the best judge of what Carl would or wouldn't do.

Whatever. All right.

All right. This isn't just any old audit. I mean, this is the kind of

investigation that could take years. The attorney fees alone.

I'm already broke.

Well, you could wind up paying half of what I give you to the IRS for the rest

of your life.

What should I do?

Well, you could establish legal separation from Carl.

Do you mean get a divorce?

No, not a divorce, just a separation. It's kind of a dodge to protect your

assets, and then if you decide to proceed, then we go from there.

To where?

Well, that's up to you. I mean, it's none of my business. Well, the legal

is my business, but the other stuff is... I'm sorry, Laura. I know this has

to be a big shock for you.

What the hell?

Oh, come on, Michelle. Pick up.

Stay. Stay. Not now, Alex. Not now.

He just showed up at my door naked. He's a lunatic.

Don't you think it's really ironic that the word lunatic comes from the Latin

luna that means moon?

Very ironic. What do I do with it?

Of course, that's kind of what moony means, too. Anyway.

I don't know.

Crazy guy has rights just like the rest of us.

Let me know if he's on your lawn.

What? Where are you?

How are you taking me?

What is this? You're practically assaulting me.

What? Okay, what? Where? You're from? Okay, a planet. What is that? Pluto.

Pluto. Okay. Yes?

Pluto, yeah, and you're... It's an arrow upwards. Excuse me, lady. You can't

really... Zip it, Buster. We're working here. What? Okay. Like a rocket ship.

Okay. You're flying into the cosmic sort of light thing. Okay.

And then you're... To Earth. Okay.

Pluto to Earth.

I got that. And then you're... Oh, it should go back home.

Oh, E .T.

wants to go home.

Is that what you want me to do? Take you home?

Happy trails?

Email me from Pluto.

This is my family's house.

So?

Why is it being sold?

Save the drama for Vijay Patek. It makes my eyeballs ache. Why don't you tell me

about this?

Stop being so paranoid.

You're never going to find a buyer. Tell that to the guy I'm meeting tomorrow.

Some Russian. Made a fortune selling moon shelters.

Classic.

Look, I'm sorry you're upset.

But if Vijay wants to sell, you have to let it go. You might as well get the

fee. I mean that rhetorically. Obviously, I'm not splitting the

Don't panic. I'm taking the offending article off and putting it in the

Thank you.

Would you finish setting the table for me, please?

Yeah. Any big deals today?

Our old house is for sale.

It is?

Yep. You don't care about that, right? I don't have any say in it.

Napkins is what I need. Sure.

Pink or blue?

Is Vijay coming?

Thin deck.

Guys, come over to the table because there's something that we need to talk

about. Pink or blue?

Blue. Come on, sit down.

What's going on?

Okay.

I am going to court to file for legal separation from your father.

It's just a technicality for financial reasons.

I wouldn't have even mentioned it, but I don't want you to hear about it from

someone else. So what are the financial reasons?

I don't want you to be nervous, but it seems your father's being investigated

the IRS.

I'm sure it's just some trumped -up thing.

Why is he being investigated?

Do you know, I don't even understand it.

Well, what don't you understand?

It has something to do with payments on a patent of his.

So you don't understand it, but yet you're presuming he's guilty?

What makes you say I'm presuming he's guilty?

Because you're cutting and running? I'm not cutting and running, Alex.

Well, if he didn't do anything wrong, then why do you have to divorce him? I

don't want you to divorce Dad.

I'm not going to divorce him. This is a legal separation, and I'm only doing it

to protect us.

Whose idea was it?

What difference does that make?

Well, she's just asking.

It was Mac's idea, honey, but it's just a legal technicality in order to protect

our assets.

It was Mac's idea.

What does that matter?

Just legal advice.

I don't know. Maybe get Dad out of the picture so he can move in. Dad's already

out of the picture, Alex. He left.

And I'm not looking to replace your father.

Right. Really? Look, I don't care if you're interested in Mac. I mean, women

your age have needs.

My age? Needs? What?

And he's not my dad, and you're not going to ruin the family. Lydia.

Alex, kiss.

Don't look at me.

Oh.

Well, we don't cuddle while Mommy's on the computer.

Her basma is a miraculous flora that boosts desire and sensitivity.

Now your passion can last all night long.

Are you affecting company?

A little late.

Mr. Smarty Pants.

Take the couch.

For one night only.

Raul, tell your mama.

Tell me, are you shedding your skin?

moaching again, silly boy?

Naked man.

On this planet, some people like to sleep in.

I clean for you.

Hey, how come you can talk all of a sudden?

And what's with the books? I do the study. On my planet, they teach the

fast. Speed reading?

You like the waffles, Belgium?

Yes. With me, please.

My souffle is rising.

By all means.

A fixer -upper.

I think I'll call him Chip.

Let's go to work.

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

So long.

So long.

Look, you know, if you're trying to act cool, I'm not impressed.

I'm not trying to act cool.

Jonah, your friend's here to see you.

Hey.

I didn't tell my mom I came.

I'm sorry she's mad at me.

I think she's more, like, worried.

Well, I don't want to get you in trouble.

Can I ask you a question?

Yeah, what?

Hey, kids.

Kool -Aid anyone?

Just kidding.

It's cranberry juice.

I'm trying really hard to understand this. It's like I get it in my head, but

then it flies away.

I mean, how do you know?

It's like any other belief system.

How do we know anything?

How do we know that we exist?

I mean, maybe we exist as a thought in another power's head. I don't know.

Why do you think that everyone out there thinks that they know how the universe

works and nobody else does?

It would be great if you were right.

I would like it. We could just stand on the thing. The transmigration pad. The

transmigration pad.

And... We just get whisked off to another dimension and not have to worry

a moon coming down.

It could happen.

Why not believe the good thing?

Not the bad.

Charlie, ask Lydia if she wants to come back tomorrow and be metered. I think

she's ready.

Well?

I'm ready.

I'm fine, really.

You sure you're okay?

Let's just get on with this. And just stay calm and answer his questions

honestly.

The big sticking point is going to be the timing of Carl's leaving.

And remember, if Judge Frost says no, don't go giving him a piece of your

okay? What?

Okay.

All rise.

Good morning, Mac. Laura. Good morning, Your Honor. Good morning, Your Honor.

Okay, Laura Davis, petition for declaration for legal separation.

Now, in this state, the legal requirement to establish abandonment is

Now, according to this document, Mr. Davis only moved out of the marital home

six months ago.

Legally, that ties my hands, especially with Mr. Davis not here at this hearing.

Oh, I understand, Your Honor. Well, I said legally, not ethically, Laura.

It is the opinion of this court that due to extenuating circumstances of the

possible end of the world, not to mention Mr.

Davis' general jackassery for taking wife and children to go contemplate

mountaintops or wild yaks or something.

It would be a grave disservice to prevent the petitioner from going on

life any further.

Your request for legal separation is granted.

I need your signature, Laura.

I can't do it. I can't do it. I'm sorry.

We'll just take these and bring them back later.

Date, if that's okay, Your Honor.

No problem, Matt.

Vix?

Chet looks so yummy, I could eat him with a spoon.

Michelle Graybar has a vision.

Would you like to try it?

I've got stripes, baby.

May I step in?

Open for Mama.

Very nice.

I think we should prep him for the tanning spray.

Akati Litvinov. The moon entrepreneur himself. You must be there, Michelle's

man. Yeah, thanks for coming early. I wanted to tell you, I checked out the

yesterday, and there seems to be quite a bit of leakage. It's going to cost

another 50 to 100 grand. Here is my friend, Grouchy. This place is the

All it needs are a few minor ads. I'm thinking I'll install some Christian

turrets out front.

And my buddy in Rome, he said he can get me an 8 -foot replica of David, you

know? Yeah. The naked Michelangelo guy?

Sure, sure.

Okay, well, I should also tell you that there's been some drainage problems. You

may have to install a new system of troughs and downspouts. Or, or, Arkady,

might have to have the lot regraded to channel water away from the house.

Are you okay?

Here, here. What?

Here.

You look cute.

I got terrible allergies.

Is it cool if I pay all cash?

Okay.

Arkady? I have to tell you, for the amount of money you're willing to spend,

think you'd do a lot better.

Nah. I like it here.

Okay, all right. Well, I can't really go into details because Michelle would

kill me. But let's just say that there are some major structural flaws in the

foundation. They're the kind of flaws you pay an appraiser to cover up.

How major?

Oh, I'm surprised this place hasn't collapsed already.

Can you help?

There's more boxes downstairs.

So do you think that was dumb, me not signing those papers?

I think it's just a document, you know? It doesn't change anything.

Separation's technical. And if you want, you can ask another attorney. Why would

I do that?

I don't know. Maybe you don't think my opinion's impartial.

He left, Laura. You don't owe him anything.

Maybe it's not just technical, the separation.

I'm just trying to help.

I feel like you're pressuring me.

Are you picking a fight with me? Tell me you have no other interest in... What

are you talking about?

Tell me you have no reason to see me and Carl split apart.

Carl's gone, Laura. He left you. And signing those papers are a no -brainer.

kids are really upset about this. Okay, fine. Don't sign the papers. Get

yourself stuck in IRS hell. Is that going to be better for your kids? I'm

going to sign those papers. Don't sign them. I mean it. You see me forcing you?

I'm not going to sign those papers.

Don't do it. Okay.

Okay. Okay.

You still in love with Carl?

Does it pickle your nose, the bubble?

You are beautiful, Michelle.

You know, I might get your gums lifted.

It elongates the toothbed.

Thank you, Michelle.

You're good to chat.

On my planet, there are rings of silver dust that circle all the day and all the

night.

The air is always wet with the mist.

Sometimes my heart breaks when I think of my planet.

Poor baby.

Thing is, on planet Earth, we don't talk about those kinds of emotional things.

Feelings. Makes us uncomfortable.

So what do you do instead?

I want to go to the moon!

I want to go to the moon!

Hey,

Mac, it's Laura.

I'm not coming into work today.

No, no, no. It's nothing to do with that.

No. I think maybe I'm coming down with a cold.

A cold.

Yeah.

No, don't worry. I don't have a temperature.

I'll call tomorrow. Yeah.

I'll talk to you then. Okay.

Why aren't you dressed?

Why aren't you?

Lydia. I don't want to go to school today.

I could have totally pretended to be sick.

I should get credit for being honest.

Like, you tell the teacher that she accidentally gave you a 92 when actually

got an 89 and you get credit for being honest and you get the 92 anyway.

Okay.

Okay, let's have a sick day together. Eat leftovers, watch TV.

What's the look?

Nothing. There was a look? Nothing, nothing, nothing. I was kind of hoping

go for a walk.

Is this about Jonah? No.

Lydia, I don't want you hanging out with those pals. No, she's not.

I swear.

Change my mind. I'm not going to work, but you're going to school. Get dressed.

Why? Unless you want to be the only kid in geometry wearing Hello Kitty pajamas.

Move.

Totten, this egg's of Benedict. They are divination.

Thanks, man.

You know what my secret is?

I put coriander seeds in the hollandaise.

You are food artist.

Well, I'm working on it.

You do not work to become artist. Artist is born.

You are artist.

You got a keeper there.

I know.

Are we ready to go? You two get things straightened out?

That was just a little misunderstanding.

You look different.

I don't think I ever introduced myself.

I'm Chief Grace Wojcik.

Very young, but very official. I can see by the shiny badge.

Oh, wow.

Um, um, so, where are you from?

I'm from the planet... Tajikistan.

Oh. Does that make you like a Tajiki?

Because I always get the stans mixed up. You know, Pakistan, Turkmenistan.

Kazakhstan, whatever, Sudan.

Idiot.

Oh, hi. Um, is Alex in? I mean, it's not what you think. I just have to tell him

something. I mean, I don't have to. I want to.

He's not here right now, but I can get him to call you if you like. Oh, yeah,

that'd be great. That'd be fine.

But couldn't it be like regular neighbors?

I mean, I really like you, and we are just next door and everything.

I've got chocolate chip cookies in the oven. Do you want to come in and have

some?

Oh, are you sure it wouldn't be bothering you?

Not at all.

Come on in.

Okay, you swear this isn't going to hurt. Don't worry. Just a tiny flow of

electrical energy doesn't hurt.

I'm scared.

There's nothing to be scared of. It's the only way we can know if you're going

to be compatible with the force field when they arrive.

What if I'm not compatible? Have you ever been to a doctor to have an

electrocardiogram?

No. Well, it's harmless.

Jonah, I think I want to go home now. How do you feel?

I'm telling you how I feel.

Creeped. Out. Let go of the chaos. Let it bleed into the background.

And you, just be still.

Look.

This is an Omega Superlative. What's that?

Very good.

Ow! What? I got a shock.

No, you didn't. Yes, I...

I felt it. It's impossible. Maybe there's something wrong.

No, really, you can't. I'm telling you, I did.

Can we make it stop?

Just relax.

It's almost over, Lydia.

No, I'm sorry, Jonah. I want to believe this. I want to believe we're going to

go to some special place, but I can't.

Because this is all stupid.

And I did get shocked, okay?

Lydia.

Hi, Jonah.

I mean, what?

Was it about a 16 -year -old did I find so attractive?

I mean, no offense.

None taken.

I mean, you know, but I have to ask the question.

Maybe it was a maternal thing. Maybe he was safe, or I wanted to be in control.

Control Alex?

Ha. Oh, yeah.

Can I ask you a question, hypothetically?

Totally hypothetically. Okay.

Hypothetically, Mac wants me to get legal separation from my husband, Carl.

Carl, who lived in a yurt and left you so he could go mountain climbing?

Oops, sorry.

Legendary genius, handsome, charismatic, father of my kid's husband for 17

years, Carl.

Now, why would Mac want you to do that? Exactly.

Mac is hot.

Is that the answer to the question?

What was the question?

I can't remember.

Spork.

This is a spork.

Spoon. Spork.

Pan.

We don't put pans in the dishwasher.

It strips the Teflon off.

Teflon.

No, I'm okay.

It really hurts.

What is wrong, Michelle?

You're acting like ice to me.

Well, when I saw you with Grace today... Well, just she's so young and she's so

pretty and... Well, she's not that pretty, actually, but... But she liked

and you seem to like her, too.

I don't like you looking at other women.

I am not.

I am falling in love with you, Michelle.

Rocket ships take me to the sleepy place In outer space, the sleepy place We're

gonna take a trip to places far and wide Out to the planets and beyond the sky

A messenger bought this in late last night.

I don't know what that is.

From one comrade to another, please accept this souvenir moon shelter as a

of my gratitude.

This guy flaked on my appointment.

Oh, I did what I had to do.

I don't care. I'm in love.

Put your head on the pillow and we're gonna fly away.

The Russian pulled out of the deal.

Don't look at me.

You're gonna fix this.

Now.

Look, my dad put his heart into that place.

If you want to sell it, fine.

But don't sell it to someone who's gonna desecrate it. Sell it to someone who's

worthy. So naive. You think Carl was a superhero.

He was a liar and a thief. And he left his family so he could climb a mountain.

I brought home the link.

The technology is very incredulous.

Much diversity.

I found a store to buy Western cowboy boots and saw a video of two girls

kissing. Interesting.

Why don't I show you how one girl kisses one spaceman?

Wait. Wait, there's more.

I have found instructions to get back to my planet during the eclipse of the

three moons tomorrow night.

Chet, I think we need to talk.

You see...

The thing is, you're not really from another planet.

You're crazy.

I'm sorry, there's a nicer way to say that.

You're sick.

I am not sick.

I know what I know.

We could go to counseling together.

On my planet, I hold a very important position.

It is needed that I return.

You don't really believe this.

I have just received the correct number sequence for both of us to travel.

Number sequence?

This is ridiculous.

If space travel were possible, don't you think we'd know about it?

I want you to come to my planet as well.

Michelle Graybar, will you be my Earth bride?

What we have is so beautiful, Chet.

Why spoil it with interplanetary travel?

Thanks for seeing me. I don't mean seeing. I know this isn't a date. I mean

meeting with me.

Yeah, no problem.

You ever think about the guy who invented those pulley things on top of

zipper? I mean, it didn't mean a lot of money.

I don't even know what those things are called.

Zipper pulls?

It's harder than I thought it would be.

Do you need to tell me something?

I know.

Look, I don't know how to say this. It's just I don't feel the same way anymore.

And not to be a jerk, but you missed your chance.

I pulled the listing.

I thought about what you said this morning, and you were right. Somebody

should live in that house.

I move in tomorrow.

I'll pick you up at 8. Is Italian okay?

Yeah, I think so.

Or sushi sounds good. Or Italian, actually. Italian sounds good.

What? Mitch says it's all happening. What's happening?

Oh, my God.

There's a transmigrational pad right outside of Montreal.

We're all going.

I want you to come with me.

Where?

To another dimension by way of Canada?

What else is there, Lydia?

I mean, at least we could be together.

Time to go. Please, Lydia.

Plaintiff seeks declaratory judgment pursuant to civil practice rule 3001 in

connection with a sub -license agreement granting exclusive rights to market

Luna -related apparel. Are we having fun yet?

Can I ask you something?

As long as it's not about Carl or signing papers.

This case concerns an estoppel agreement dated May 21st, 2006.

You know, I would just hate to think that you were doing something that

in your best interest because of me. How kind of you.

Are you making fun of me?

Mac, how do you feel about it? Tell me.

I thought I did.

Try again.

What do you feel about it?

Okay, I feel that you should do what's in the best interest of you and your

family. Tell me to sign the papers because you want me to.

Not because it's my best legal option.

Well, it is your best legal option, and I think you should do what's best for

you. Do you care about me?

Of course I care about you.

Then tell me.

That's not the point.

It is.

No, it doesn't matter whether I care about you or not.

I quit.

There are coffee filters on the third shelf of the filing cabinet, and we've

some unpaid bills in my right hand drawer.

You feeding the new man, Michelle?

You two are quite the talk of the town. I've heard he's really handsome.

Books aren't everything. I've sent him packing.

Why did you do that?

I don't know.

Maybe because he thinks he's from outer space.

But he's a nice guy. He treats you well.

You want my two cents?

Hold on to him.

Look, he's insane.

Literally. He thinks he's taking off on a spaceship tonight out in the forest

preserve. He wants me to go with him.

So he's imperfect.

You know, everyone has at least one big thing wrong with them. Perversely thick

toenails, a fetish for young men, a missing testicle. You keep holding out

some guy without a flaw.

You're the one who's crazy.

Don't let this man go.

What are you doing here?

Just wrapping things up, yeah?

I got an email from VJ asking me to meet him here.

VJ!

You hacked into his account. You sent the message.

The guy is such a tool.

His password's password.

Yeah, you're a jerk.

What do you even see in him?

I thought you didn't care.

I didn't say that.

He's exactly the type of person I should be with.

You should be with.

What about what you want?

Why wouldn't I want to be with him? He's a genius. He's successful.

He doesn't live with his mom. We're on the same page. You're on the same page.

You guys talk corporate in bed, too? What do you want from me, Alex?

I tried to tell you how I feel ever since you got back from your trip, but

don't want to hear it. I do now.

Jonah,

don't

go.

Let's move, Johnny.

Couldn't I just get on the bus and travel with you for a little while?

Hey, see this birthmark?

Has anyone ever told you it kind of looks like Jerry Lee Lewis?

You and Jerry Lee Lewis have a lot in common. Didn't he marry a 13 -year -old?

Oh, I'm totally turning myself into Wojcik.

Can you wait till tomorrow?

Okay.

Even though I think you're a bit of a nutcase, I still want to support you.

Silk. From Kyoto.

I just had it dry cleaned. I think they're going to really like it on

Look, there's bugs out here. I'm not getting naked.

You won't regret this, Michelle.

Well, we'll see about that.

On my signal, we will say the numbers in sequence together, yes?

Why? Just do. Don't ask.

It's 4 -16 -11.

47. I will say it again as we go. Can you follow?

I think so.

4, 16, 11, 47.

Well, we gave it a shot. Let's go home.

I can make some mashed potatoes, run you a bubble bath.

I will stay.

Try again.

But what if nothing happens?

Then I will come back tomorrow and the next day and the day after that.

We're just too different.

I know Milford's a nothing town, but it's my nothing town.

I can't live with you on planet crazy.

But us, we are good together.

A man once said, a bird and a fish can fall in love.

But where are they going to live?

Then I will come and find you on a ship made of gold and ember.

Good luck, Chet.

I hope you get where you're going.

Chat? Chat?

Baby?

You quit just to make me feel bad. How'd you guess?

Do you hate me? No, no, I don't.

Good, that's a start. I don't hate you.

Well, that's a relief.

I think you're wonderful.

Good, I'm kind of feeling better now.

I really do.

That's good. In fact, I feel like signing something. I have this sudden

find something.

Now? I have them. I brought them home.

What do I sign?

I'm back.

Hi, I'm Carl Davis.

Hi. This is Mac McIntyre. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Where the hell have you been?

My quest.

My great quest has carried me from the depths of the Norangoro crater

through the wild rivers of Papua New Guinea to the heights.

And still, I did not find clarity.

And then, a guide's jeep broke down somewhere in Patagonia. And the only

for miles was a McDonald's. And it was there, while I was refueling my body

a sausage breakfast burrito, that I had a vision for the future. One that will

allow the world to live through the lunar crisis and beyond.

I mean, true inspiration is odd, isn't it?

We ask questions of the strange, yet find answers in the familiar. So, is

something that you'll be doing at Fendek, then?

I've come back to my family.

To both my families.

So, what did I miss?