Original subtitles

Hey, baby, what's up?

Uh -huh.

Can me and a couple of my frat brothers borrow your Miata and go on a road trip?

Uh -huh.

Hey, is that Leonardo DiCaprio shooting pool?

Hey, will you guys quit playing? Look, I am trying to look for a job.

Oh, did the bank of dad go belly up?

No.

Here's something.

Telemarketer. Oh, yeah? Talking on the phone and begging for money. Two of your

favorite things.

Not helping.

Food service.

Not helping.

A chauffeur for an elderly lady.

I am not driving Miss Daisy.

She's a campus radio host now. This sounds like something I'd like to do.

You mean something I'd like to do. How much does it pay?

More than the nothing you're making now.

Good!

even though i'm glad to be with you i thought i feel it's real to me like you

got to do what's right for you

muffins are supposed to have blueberries, right? Yeah, hence the

Then why mine green?

Oh, have a bear claw, okay?

Thank you.

Doug,

what happened to you this weekend?

Uh, yo, I was powerlifting with the football team. I overexerted my lower

Oh, you hurt your butt.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Ty.

Oh, what's up? I really enjoyed ice skating with you this weekend.

Ice skating?

It's so funny. He fell probably ten times before we even hit the ice. It

ten times. It was all a six.

Well,

I hope the heating pad helps.

See you later.

So was the football team ice skating, too? I mean, is it part of the whole

training experience?

Shut up, man.

Jordan, I can't keep up with her, man. She got me ice skating, rollerblading,

rock climbing.

I mean, she wanted to kill me. She should have just hired a hitman.

Well, at least you'll die a happy man, because Ginger is fine.

Yeah, yeah, she's all right.

But, man, it's not the same as when I was with... Tia!

Yeah.

Hey, guys.

Oh. So, uh, how was everyone's weekend?

Oh, well, I, of course... Tyreek.

You know, it was the same old, same old.

Well, um, the avian told me, um, she saw you in...

Ginger ice skating.

Yeah, okay. See, she was going, and then I was going, too.

So, you know, we went.

Will you look at the time? I need to check in.

Well, then, this is Babyface. I'm still investigating that 202. Over.

Babyface, we're hungry.

How long does it take to buy bear claws? Over.

Uh, Roger.

I'm gonna have to confiscate that bear claw. Amen.

Okay, bye.

Sorry, Mom, I can't stay for lunch. I've got to stay on campus.

I wouldn't knock my perm over that hot school.

Lisa, they say talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity.

I am not crazy.

Denial is the second.

So tell me, what's going on?

Girls can't make it for lunch.

And I made all this.

Face it, Letha.

Tia and Tamera have lives of their own. I used to be a part of it, too. And I

would see it when I see it.

Everybody's always got to go, go, go, go, go.

because you could call him Smelly.

Whatever you call him, he's got to go.

Oh, Ray, I can't just throw her back out on the street.

It's a doggy dog world out there. Well, maybe you ought to put out some lost dog

flies around the neighborhood.

Fine, fine. Ooh, you're shivering a little bit. You want a blankie? Here,

come on, hold him while I get a blankie.

Good doggy, good doggy.

See?

Cujo has got to go.

I feel the same.

pillow chat, you'll be advising students on love, relationships, and other

issues. I'm with it. You must be friendly and personable. That's me.

And be willing to answer questions from the mailbag. Ah, about it, about it.

Shoot me your best letter. Okay.

Ah, my boyfriend forgot my birthday.

What should I do?

Oh, please, that's easy.

You know, my boyfriend forgot my birthday once. I was really upset, but

so cute, I forgot about it. Then about five months... months later, he

remembered that he forgot my birthday, so he bought me this present. It was

necklace, right? But it didn't look that good on me, so I tried to take it back,

but it turns out that even though it was in a Tiffany's box, it came from

Target.

What was the question?

Okay, well, thank you for dropping by. We'll keep your resume on file.

So, should I be waiting by the phone?

Not without a year's supply of food and water.

Uh, Tamira?

say he told me to prepare for a phone call.

Now listen, Miss Campbell, all the candidates seem to fall short when it

to the mailbag, so let's just start there. Pick a letter.

Blind date. Pick me up or not. Crystal.

Well, Crystal, you've got to play it safe.

Have him meet you at the spot.

and go late.

That way, you can spot him before he spots you. And if he's so up, you can

out. Okay!

Good! That was great!

Really? Okay, okay, okay.

What would you say to a guy who says he doesn't trust women?

I'd tell him to look in the mirror and ask himself if the real person he

trust is looking back at him. You are so right. I need to look...

The caller needs to look in that mirror.

Mira, you are the new hostess of Pillow Chat.

Well, then where's my pillow?

Because Lady T is ready to chat.

the ultimatum. Watch the game with them.

You'll have your man, and he'll get to watch his. Now, that's what Lady T would

do, okay?

People, it's called compromise.

You're on with Lady T.

Speak to me.

Yeah, uh, my name is Big Daddy Smooth B.

Well, um, Big Daddy, what's really going on?

Sounds like Big Daddy ain't nothing but a Big Mac.

I know, I know. So what's a brother to do?

First, you need to get rid of your player's card.

Let them both know you're not ready for commitment.

Now, it may hurt them, but if they find out what you're doing, they may hurt

you. Now, that's what Lady T would do. Okay.

Hold up, hold up. What about my knees?

You need to get off my phone.

with Lady T.

Speak to me.

Hi, my boyfriend hasn't called me in three weeks.

What should I do?

answer to Oprah.

I know. Just call me Stedman.

Look, man, yo, I even called the other night, man. She gave me some great

about Tia.

Wait a minute. I can't believe you just called the radio station to talk about

you and Tia. Jordan, I'm not stupid, man, okay? I didn't talk about Tyreek

Tia. I talked about Malik and Rhea.

Smooth. Hey,

Jordan.

As -salamu alaykum, Malik.

on campus with issues.

Well, you do not have to worry about helping those people this weekend

just got a ticket to see Next in concert.

That's right.

This Saturday night is all about us. You, me, and Next.

Actually, it's going to be you and Next.

I just found out I have to work.

On a Saturday night?

Jordan, Lady T is getting so much mail. Mr. McGee has added an extra night of

the show.

Yeah, but what about us?

But it's okay to let your boyfriend down?

Come on. You have me.

You need me.

Come here.

I really need to talk to you.

Go ahead.

Thank you. Talk to your sister.

Can I call you later?

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

Tariq's been acting a little weird lately, and I can't tell if he's

mad at me.

I'll tell you what I told my Muslim caller, Malik.

Right back at you.

Oh, yeah. So you want to play a game?

I got a game.

It's called follow the bone to another home. You got it?

This is how we play. See?

Playing with sweetness.

Looks like you're trying to get rid of sweetness.

I shouldn't be attacked by a vicious killer dog when I come home.

Ray, Ray, we do not use the D -O -G word.

Sweetness is my canine companion.

Aren't you, baby?

Lisa, did you post the lost dog flyers? I drove around and I didn't see any.

That's because that wind has been so fierce lately. They probably all just

away.

La Nina's no joke.

Well, we ought to get a pedicure.

Before you go, here, take this.

What is this?

Lost dog flyers. While you're at it, you should post some more.

Oh, but Ray, this picture's in black and white. My sweetness needs color.

Brings out her eyes.

I have some more pictures taken tomorrow, and I'll put them up then,

you'll post those signs tonight.

With any luck, you will be gone by tomorrow.

mind if i turn on the radio tamir show is on i know that's why the radio's off

lady please don't believe the hype girl

green is not your best color now why should i be jealous of somebody who

my job oh come on d tamir is helping people i'm proud

of her and you should be too okay okay turn it on i'd rather listen to her than

listen to you talk about her

even more stubborn ex -boyfriend they broken up right but

it's obvious they still like each other they won't go forward but they're too

afraid to go back they are stuck in neutral girl i say

for the station to pay some bills so they can pay me.

Okay.

But I'll be right back after this with next.

Hey, Sam.

Amira Campbell.

How could you?

Easy. They went well with my outfits.

I'm not talking about my earrings.

Well, then what's wrong?

You are.

You know, there I am minding my own business when I hear my own business on

air. Oh, that deal. Look, my little... want the real, okay? And it is my job to

give it to them. Yeah, yeah, Tamira, but you can't... Tamira, next is here.

What's up, ladies?

I'm Timo.

All right.

How you doing?

Oh, great.

Well, you guys just have a seat. You're next.

We know.

Hello, Tamira.

Back to me.

Look, you had no right broadcasting my private life to half of Ann Arbor. You

must be the sister she was talking about.

You heard the show on the limo. Give it some gas, girl.

T, can we talk about this later?

Oh, yeah, I'll call you.

We'll be listening.

Handsome.

There's no dog here.

See, I told you. Let's go.

But the dog in this flyer looks just like my pretty.

Honey, if the woman said there is no dog, there is no dog. That's right. I

not post any flyers. No, but I did.

She is not pretty. That's sweetness.

Kelly, I really don't think that's hard talk.

Oh, Ron Carpenter, don't be silly.

Let's go home pretty. Mama's got your waterbed all nice and warm.

Bye -bye, sweetness.

Thank you for returning pretty to me.

Yeah.

Thanks a lot.

Bye -bye, my pretty.

Okay, come on, guys. There are no more tickets to the next concert, so

I do, I do.

But lately it seems like she likes her new job more than she likes me.

We never have time to just kick it anymore.

That's nonsense. Nobody's ever that busy. I mean, even Lady T has to turn

the mic sometimes.

Well, I hope my girlfriend's listening.

Look, why don't you plan a really special evening?

Maybe then she'll realize what she's missing.

Well, I got us tickets to the next concert, but she told me she has to

Wow, you sound like a really caring and considerate guy.

I mean, your girlfriend obviously doesn't know what she's got. I mean, if

got me tickets to the next concert, I sure definitely wouldn't be... working.

You know what, caller?

I'll bet wherever your girlfriend is, she's wishing she was with you at that

concert tonight.

Thanks for calling.

Thanks for listening.

Enjoy it with the one you love.

I am so sorry about seeing that on the radio.

Yeah, well, just promise me you won't do it again.

I thought Lady T was supposed to be on the air tonight.

Hmm. Tonight, Lady T is taking her own advice.