Original subtitles

Morning. Morning.

What's all this? You girls fixing breakfast?

All right, how much money do you need?

Ray, it's not about money.

It's about Aunt Darcy.

She called, and I invited her to come by this afternoon.

You invited the D -word?

Does Lisa know about this?

No. That's why I'm making my mom pancake.

Yeah, and we figured it would be easier to break the news to her between bites.

Yeah, maybe she'll eat enough of them and she won't be able to chase you

upstairs.

Oh, come on, Ray.

You don't think Tamir and I can get Mom and Aunt Darcy back together?

Let me put it to you another way.

I think I'll have my juice to go.

Now, I knew I turned this thing on last night.

Oh, man.

It's a crook.

I'm not going to pay another repairman $100 just so it'll break down again and

he'll be back in 90 days.

Dad, please tell me you're not going to try and fix that thing yourself.

And why may I ask not?

Because now, every time we turn on the blender, you fix.

The garage door opens.

Not if you don't push frappe.

me like you got to do one right for you.

Morning,

y 'all.

Morning. I just got the easiest job of my life.

in the dress for Tony Braxton's next magazine cover.

Wasn't she nude on her last magazine cover?

That's why it's such an easy job.

I tell you nothing is going to wipe this smile off my face today.

Mom, now I know how important family is to you.

It sure is, sweetie.

That's why I invited Aunt Darcy to come over today.

You better be lying.

Probably some bolt that just needs to be tightened.

Now, Tia, you know I don't want that woman in this house. I know, Mom, but

sounds so nice on the phone, and she really wants to see you. Uh -huh.

She wants something.

Looks like all I'm gonna need is a Phillips head screwdriver.

Mom, now how do you know Aunt Darcy wants something?

Because I know Darcy.

She's the spoiled little baby of the family, and somebody has always taken

of her. First it was Mom and Daddy, then it was me.

Then it was her husband, then it was me, then it was her second husband, then it

was the guy she left her second husband for, then it was me all over again. I

don't know about Darcy.

Poor Darcy.

Sounds like she had a pretty hard life. You see?

She's not even here and you're feeling sorry for her.

This job will take two hours' time.

Well, I'll be working in my studio all day.

The only way to deal with Darcy is not to deal with her at all. Wait, wait, but

Ma, I told her you'd be here.

And you can deal with that.

It's just going to get messy.

Oh, nonsense. I'll just put some paper down and mop up afterwards.

I hope he wasn't talking about Aunt Darcy.

Guy, Aunt Darcy will be here any minute. Will you stop walking around like

brooding cats?

Oh, I'm not brooding. Are you brooding, dog? No, real men don't brood.

Why can't we go to the movies?

Because since Mom won't see Aunt Darcy, You guys, you gotta help us make her

feel welcome. Whoa, isn't that what doormats are for?

Hey, come on, guys. Look, it'll be easy. You can serve the double egg, and

Jordan, you serve the tea. Yeah. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm not down with that Susie Homemaker vibe. Mm -mm. Right, right. Look, see

there. These hands, they work on limo engines. They're not for serving eggs.

Yeah, well, those hands will be holding each other when you're alone at the

movies tonight.

Why you gotta go there?

Because it works.

What else have you guys got to do, huh?

Nothing.

You girls be my Stillson wrench.

Oh, Stillson wrench.

What are you up to, Ray? Anything we can help you with.

No, I'm just pulling the pump from the dishwasher.

You don't want to mess up your good clothes. No, no, no, no, no.

These are my grass -cutting clothes, man. Yeah, I'm all about pump pulling.

All right, suit yourself.

Wait a minute.

Hold up.

What about Aunt Darcy?

Well, you heard the man. He was practically begging us for help. Hang

We're coming.

Tia. Shoot.

Okay, Tamera, well then, I guess it's up to us. Go ahead.

Aunt Dorothy!

Tia, now I'd know that adorable smile anywhere.

Uh, thank you. I'm Tamera.

Of course you are. And I'm your Aunt Dorothy. One removed.

I mean, your step -aunt -in -law. Darling, I don't know who I am. Let me

you.

Tia, look at you. You have grown.

And to two beautiful women.

Speaking of beautiful women, where is that big sister of mine?

Uh, you haven't met Tamir's dad, Ray, have you? He is really nice. Yeah, um,

he's in the kitchen with our boyfriend. Yeah. If the men are in the kitchen,

what are we doing out here?

Here's the, uh, the thing. This thing right here. Uh, how's it going, Ray?

Guys. Oh, hello, Sam.

Oh, y 'all scared me, man. I didn't even see y 'all. Okay. Well, this is our

Aunt Darcy. Oh, please.

To men this gorgeous, I'm just plain Darcy.

Well, then, I'm just plain old Jordan.

Hardly. And you are?

Duh. I am Tyreek.

And you two are very good at choosing boyfriends.

Thanks. Well, I'm all right.

And this Nubian prince must be Ray Campbell.

Aha. Guilty.

Lisa never mentioned you were so manly and rugged.

Well, I, uh, I try not to flaunt it.

Hey, um, Darcy, we're gonna go see if we can find Ma.

How about I come with you and we can surprise her? No!

Um, Lisa likes to know when her surprises are coming.

Yeah, um, do you wait... here and we'll be right back hopefully okay

i'll just sit here and watch the men work

forget

it i am not going downstairs to see miss prissy pants she's got those men eating

out of my hand right

too much in your way if I got myself a little glass of water? My throat's a tad

dry.

Just sit down.

I'll get it. Well, you know what? I'm about to sleep.

No, no, no, no. You're out to rain. Hey, hey, hey. I'm getting the water. Tell

me, boys.

I don't want anyone going to any trouble over me. Oh, no, it's cool because I

had the last drink. You snatched it. There are two seats to take. See what

did? Mom, she's really sweet and nice.

So is the pit bull puppet before it takes a bite out of your butt.

Listen, maybe she's changed.

The only thing that changed about that woman is her hair color.

Why are you so mad at her?

I am not mad.

I'm tired.

I am tired of being taken advantage of by my own sister. I feel more used than

porter party at the Million Man March.

Is it not possible that all she wants is to see you?

No. Well, couldn't you go down there and find out? No. Well, why not?

Because I can't say no.

Whenever Darcy and I get together...

Some switch comes on, I go into big sister mode, and I just give her

she wants.

It's like, it's like Darcy got some kind of spell over me.

When we used to go trick -or -treating, I'd give her my candy. At Christmas, I

gave her my Easy Bake Oven, and I cooked for her. Her first husband, my

boyfriend. Not that I ever married that fool.

He was kind of good -looking, though.

That was a long time ago.

Besides, she's your sister, Lisa.

I hate to think you're going to miss out on knowing her just because you think

you can't say no. Yeah, it's easy.

We know you can do it.

We hear it all the time. Just pretend it's us.

Come on, Tamera.

I guess family isn't as important to her as she says it is.

Yeah.

Well, you tell her I still...

Turn a girl's head with all this attention.

Is it not bad?

Oops. Coming right up.

Another devil there, Darcy.

Well, if you use me.

Are those mechanic's hands I see serving eggs?

And look, Susie Hallmaker is helping.

Uh, well,

we were just taking a break from our... repair work.

Right.

Well, let's get back to work, men. Let's roll.

So, Tamara, where is Lisa?

Well, she's... She's right here.

There's my big sister.

Thanks. I'm just here about my sweater.

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. Hello, Dorothy. How long has it been?

Six years, three months, 18 days, something like that.

Well, we have got so much catching up to do. Go get yourself a cup and let's

have ourselves a little tea party like when we were girls. Okay.

And while you're up, could you put a little honey in mine like you used to?

sure. And don't forget, a little tad of sugar.

Right. And a squeeze of honey.

I remember.

Nobody can make my tea like my big sister.

Well, I bet you could if you tried.

Oh, no.

would not taste the same.

Are those coals over there? Oh, they sure are. I'll get them for you.

No, no, don't bother. Lisa knows exactly how I like them. Warmed up, split down

the middle with a dollop of butter.

Coming right up.

Lisa, do you have any homemade preserves?

One, no, but you give me a couple of hours, I can whip some up.

Mom, put down the knife and back away from the scone.

You don't need to make it.

She's right, Lisa.

Forget about the scone. I don't want to spoil my appetite for dinner. Oh, yeah,

dinner. Oh, big sister's cooking. Gonna put some meat on those bones.

I know you're gonna fix my favorite, collard greens. Oh, I will. Just as soon

I go to the market. Wait, wait, wait. You know, we can send out for Chinese.

You know, Lisa, you don't have to cook.

Let her go. She loves waiting on me.

She's been cooking for me ever since we were kids.

You mean since your easy -bake oven?

That's right.

That oven was the best present I ever got from Santa.

Wait a minute.

Santa sent me that easy bake oven. And like a fool, I gave it to you.

What happened, Lisa? That was such a long time ago.

Yes, it was.

And I don't want to go back.

What are you trying to say?

Dorothy, the kitchen is closed.

After all these years of being used by you, I have finally decided to say no.

So whatever it is you came for this time, the answer is no.

Actually, Lisa, I just wanted to stay for a few days. No!

I like the sound of that.

No, no, no!

Fine.

I've never been one to wear out my welcome. Except that time you stayed

for eight months, rent -free.

Before I go, the only reason I came here today was to let you know I... I'm

having surgery tomorrow.

Oh, well, really? Well, it was nothing serious.

Sissy, I'm going under the knife.

Oh, baby, what is it?

Lisa, it's my third surgery, and the doctors, they think they've got it all,

it keeps coming back. And they say this is my last chance.

Oh, you poor little thing.

Darcy, where is it?

I'd rather not say.

worry, baby. Big sister is here for you. And anything you want to ask is yes,

yes, yes.

Did we get everything on Darcy wanted? Mm -hmm. Hey, you know what, Tamera?

As sad as it is about on Darcy, I really feel good about getting her and Mom

back together. Me too.

At least they'll be able to spend some time together before, you know, it's too

late.

So how's Darcy Landry doing?

Still no change, I'm afraid, Doctor.

That woman is still a royal pain in the butt.

I can't wait to get her in, cut, and get her out. I swear, you'd think the woman

was having brain surgery instead of bunion surgery.

Bunion surgery?

I love your brain.

Oh, it's yours.

Let me get you some water.

Darcy, how you feeling?

Oh, I got my good minutes and my bad minutes, but I'm hanging on.

Oh, well, you know, that's good to hear because, um, I've been reading some very

disturbing things about hospitals and patient care lately.

You have?

Mm -hmm. Tell us about it, Tia. Oh, no, I don't want to make Aunt Darcy nervous.

Well, since you asked.

They say that you have to be on top of them every second or else.

Or else what?

Well, studies show on an average that hospitals take out the wrong thing 15 %

the time.

And the other 85 % is just a stab in the dark.

So to speak.

So to speak. What are you talking about, so to speak?

Do you know what, Tamera?

Maybe we should just have a little look -see at your chart. Put that down.

That's for doctor's eyes only. Oh, not to worry.

Really? Oh, it just, you know, looks like a simple -by -the -book brain

Brain surgery?

Baby, I didn't know it was your brain.

It's not. I'm not having brain surgery.

Oh, Denial.

This is so sad.

It's not sad. I'm just in here for bunion surgery.

Bunion surgery?

Is that what you said?

Now, Lisa, I can explain. Mom, Mom, she's delirious. Look, it says right

See? Oh, so it does.

Well, there's been a big mistake.

Oh, baby, you want a hug? No, I want to see my doctor.

Nobody's opening my skull.

Oh, your hair was so pretty, but they're doing wonderful things with wigs these

days. Let me see that, child. Oh, no, no, no, no. This is for doctor's eyes

only. All right, we're ready for you, ma 'am.

Goodbye, Aunt Dorothy.

I'm not going anywhere. Get off me.

Lisa, Lisa, you got to help me. I swear I...

I'm just in here to have a bunion removed.

I let you think it was more serious because I needed you to take care of me

I got home. Oh, really?

I'm sorry I lied. Just don't let them near my brain. I'm only here about a

bunion. Darcy, I believe you.

You do? Yes, it says so here in your chart.

What? And while we are on the subject, how long did you think you could keep

those bunions a secret?

Well, I figured once the surgery was over and you saw how much pain I was in,

you'd take care of me like you always do.

Darcy, you're a grown woman. You gotta take care of yourself.

You're right, Lisa, and I promise I'll change.

Well, I promise that I'll change, too.

Darcy, you're my sister, and I will be here when you need me, but you cannot

need me every time you see me.

So, after your surgery, you can stay with me three days, and that's it. Oh,

that's great, Lisa. But since I broke up with my boyfriend, there's nobody to...

Two days!

You got it, two days. Thank you. Don't even know I'm there.

You do have down pillows.

Take her, take her.

Oh, you're so strong.

Thank you, ma 'am.

Call me Doxy.

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Give me back my ring.

Take her.

You know what, Mom?

I have to give you your props.

After all she did, you still got your sister's back.

You are so nice, Lisa.

Well, I'm not as nice as you, girl.

She's staying in one of your bedrooms.

What? Wait a minute, but Tia's the one who invited us. Uh -huh, I just talked

her on the phone, Tamara. Yeah, but it was your brilliant idea, Tia. Oh, oh, so

now it's mine.

Well,

that's that.

You got the pump in.

Sure did.

And you lined up the impeller. with the boot connector to the wash arm and not

the drain hose?

Absolutely. Sure.

The boot connector.

Well, let's fire it up. Let's go.

mess up?

Just calm down, fellas.

We can handle this. We're men.

Jordan, bring me the phone. I'm gonna call that repair guy. We'll let the

find out.

Good idea.

And while you're at it, you should see if he can fix furnaces, because there's

water running down into the heating vent.

We don't need a repairman to fix the furnace. We can do that.

I don't think so, Ray.

Yeah, water's one thing.

Fire can burn.

No nonsense.

I'm going into the garage to get my sump pump.

Somebody turn on the blender.

Okay, Bigfoot, car's outside. Let's roll.

Yep, Tamir's room is all ready for you. Oh, come on, T, two out of three. Uh

-uh. Two out of three. No way.

Actually, Lisa, I've decided not to impose on you.

What?

I thought a lot about what we talked about, and you're right. It's time I

an independent woman and stopped relying on other people to take care of me.

Well...

Listen to my baby sister sounding all grown up.

You ready to roll, Darcy? Yes, I am, Calvin.

Calvin! Baby doll, my ship's over. I could drive you home right now.

Throw your arm around my neck and just lean on me. I will, I will.

Now, how long before I'm able to climb a ladder and repair that leaky roof? No,

no, no. You are going to stay put in bed. I'll take care of that leaky roof

you. Well, if you're in bed.

Bye, Darcy.

Bye.

How does she do that? Yeah, and more important, how can we learn it?

Girls, every woman has that ability.

It's like radar. You just put out the vibe.

Hey, Mom, can you do it?

Can I do it? I invented it.

I'll see you later.

Gosh. When we get a chance, let's try our female vibe.

Why do y 'all look so goofy?

We need more practice. Yeah.

Yo, girl, crazy it ain't mine.

Tell me you're not going to try to pick that thing up.

I'm going to try to say this line. I really am.

So is a pit bull pit puppy.

A pit bull pit puppy.

Lisa, baby, just been... God, what is wrong with me?

Aunt Darcy, she's been playing... She's been, uh... What has she been doing?

So...