Original subtitles

T is balancing my checking account so I can see how many pairs of hush puppies I

can buy.

I'm having a little trouble breaking your code. What in the world is B -D -O

Buy dress on Thursday.

I thought you were hip to new math.

Okay, done.

So, how many pairs of puppies about to find a new home?

Well, that depends.

How many pairs of hush puppies can you buy with 52 cents?

I can't believe I'm broke.

I still have checks.

Come here.

Twice this month, I've had to loan you my money to put in your account.

Now, honey, you're gonna have to start getting more responsible with your

What is with the drama, Tia? Look, as long as you catch my mistakes and cover

for me, I don't see the problem.

You know what?

She's right.

There's no problem. When she's preaching on America's Most Wanted for writing

bad checks... I'm going to turn her in and collect the reward money.

We're going to have a wonderful time,

Susan. Yeah.

We're going to see La Boheme.

It's an opera.

Hello? Hello?

such a hard time getting a date?

Well, if you must know, I'm trying to find a woman who will be impressive at

opera.

Well, who does she have to impress?

Well, the president of this company I'm trying to get an account with.

He won't return my calls, but I found out he's an opera buff, and I managed to

get a piece next to him in his opera box.

Well, hey, now, if you're in a crunch, I'll be glad to make you look good for

evening.

Lisa, I'm trying to find a date who listens to Puccini, not the Funkadelic.

Okay, but it's gonna be pretty hard. to impress Mr. Osborne when you're sitting

in that box seat by yourself, looking like a stalker.

Man, now I'm down to the Zs.

Okay, you can go.

Not asking me like that, I can't.

Lisa, would you go to the opera with me?

Please?

I get dinner too, Ray. All right, all right, I'll buy you dinner.

I'm not talking about no potato mountain.

All right, Lisa.

I'd love to go, Ray.

Hey, Ma.

Come on, girls.

Come on. We need to talk to you two.

Did you do anything wrong?

I can't remember.

But if I did, you're going down with me.

You bet, Daddy.

Well, we thought that since you've been so responsible with your checking

accounts, it's time we gave you your very own credit card.

Mm -hmm. And since you've been driving downtown to work at that teen rescue

mission, we'll feel more comfortable knowing that you have this card.

Thanks, Daddy.

Oh, my gosh, you were just on our way to the mall.

Are you guys psychic or what?

Whoa, whoa, hold on.

Tamera, that card has just a $500 limit for emergency use only.

That's right. Oh, we understand.

Right, Tamera?

Sure. The limit's $500.

Bye.

Ray, what's your credit card limit?

Why do you want to know?

Well, because the night at the opera would be nothing without a bottle of

champagne.

You sure Tamara's not your child?

Tamara, huh? Look at this.

Genuine suede.

Ooh.

$389.

You know what?

I could charge this if I want.

until you actually buy something.

Oh, fine.

I guess we'll take our credit card to the Gap.

You have a credit card.

Why didn't you say so?

I'll start a room for you.

You just do that. What are you talking about? You can't even...

You'll be all that in this leopard print.

Girl, stop talking and give it to me.

Don't do it. You don't sound that bad.

Careful, Ray. Rubber gloves, no prints. Okay.

Let's go with the book and music I gave you on La Boine.

Ray, I'm working here. I don't have time for a pop quiz.

Lisa, come on now. This account with Mr. Osborne is very important to me.

If you're not going to read the material, then just agree with whatever

What do you mean, agree with you?

For example, tonight I'll turn to Mr. Osborne and I'll say, unquestionably,

Puccini was the finest operatic composer of the late 19th century. And then you

say, that's right, dear.

That's right, dear.

Exactly. That's all you have to remember.

I'll take care of the rest of the conversation.

You sure you know enough about opera to pull this off? Of course. What do you

think, I am a total idiot?

That's right, dear.

Where'd you get it?

Oh, really?

Oh, thanks. They gave it to me at work for never being late.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm late. Excuse me.

We'd like to put these things on layaway. Ten percent down, right?

Wrong. You can't put sale items on layaway.

But you can always charge it.

No.

Guys. Guys.

My credit card is for emergencies only.

The sale ends today.

Sounds like an emergency to me.

Is English your second language?

Guys, I can't charge clothes for you. My dad will kill me.

Tamara, you will have the money by the time the bill comes out.

Next week when I get paid, I'll pay you back half of my half because Diabia owes

me money.

Right, and when I get my allowance, I'll pay you back my half plus the half of

her half, which is a half and a quarter.

Sounds simple enough.

Oh, come on, T, please.

Please, please, please. Okay, I guess.

Sheesh, I mean, how much could it be anyway?

$429 .52.

I have 52 cents.

Okay, Tamara, that's it. The last box of canned goods for the mission. Hey,

girls.

on his way to the opera.

Really? Shoot, I thought he was Denzel.

Oh, I get it. You girls want me to take out another box for the car.

Yes. Sorry, Ray carries boxes.

Denzel doesn't.

Girls, be careful driving down to the mission now.

Ray, we've been there a million times.

Besides, Dad, the whole church youth group is always there.

Peace. Have fun at the opera, Dad. Bye.

Lisa, the limo's here.

If you don't get down here, we won't have time for dinner.

There's no need to raise your voice, Ray.

I'm ready.

Wow, Lisa, you look stunning.

I know that's right.

We're just having a little car trouble in the middle of the night somewhere in

downtown Detroit.

And a strange car is pulling up behind us and stopping.

They're cops.

Right. They went to get bigger guns.

Okay. I have a tow truck. I thought you could use some help.

Wait. Wait a minute, Mr. Tow Truck Man. Yeah?

Maybe we could use your help. Can you tow us home?

That would be a $75 hookup charge plus $2 a mile.

So lucky we have this credit card.

Tamir, if we didn't have that card, we'd be in real trouble.

Tamir, huh?

Did you take those ho -hos from the mission boxes?

See how we can take food from the hungry?

Here's your card.

You can tell us? No.

You need to get out so you can start walking home.

Your credit card was declined.

What? Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. What are you talking about? That can't

be. We just got this card yesterday.

Sounds like a personal problem to me.

Do you guys take checks?

Let's just let go of the anger and forgive everybody. No, no, forget it,

Now, look, there's a paid phone over there. I'm paying you right.

Hey, you can't go out there by yourself.

Oh, I'm not. You come in with me.

Well,

put that jackass on the phone now.

Hold on.

Why are you all up on me?

No reason.

We just wanted to make a phone call.

But he can wait till morning.

the Osbournes arrive, I will handle the introductions.

Don't worry. I'll just sit here and look ravishing.

Oh, good evening. You must be the Osbournes.

And you must be in my seat.

Your

gown is

lovely. Who designed it?

Oh.

Thank you. Well, it's one of my own designs.

I'm Lisa Landry.

Of course. I was at your last show.

I'm Latrice Osborne.

Murray, this is Lisa Landry, the designer. My husband, Murray.

Charmed. Hello.

Oh, oh, and this is my friend.

I'm Ray Campbell. I own a limousine company.

I'll make a run.

Stay here and keep an eye out.

All right.

Hey.

My dear. What?

He's calling you, lover.

What do you think he wants with us?

I think he wants to murder us. Stupid tomorrow.

He probably just wants to rob us.

Hey. Hey, hey, look, I'm not trying to jack you, all right?

It just looks like you're having car trouble. I just want to tell you that

phone is free.

Oh, thanks.

Wait, it could be a trick.

Well, unless you've got a trick to start this car, Tamir, we've got to call Ray.

Give me a quarter quick.

What? Tamir, I gave you all my change when we stopped at McDonald's.

You had to supersize it.

What's for y 'all to change?

Yeah. Oh, let me help you out.

Oh, I see. That's a special street trick that makes the phone work. Yeah.

Got in the corner.

Thanks for helping us with the phone.

Yeah.

My dad should be calling back any minute.

Oh. Oh.

You're not going to ask me twice.

Come on, T. Let's go wait in the car until Dad calls us back.

We were just about to make a call.

Information?

Yeah, um, I'd like the number to, uh, John Smith.

There's 73 of them.

Okay. Start at the top.

Look, little dog, if Perry calls, tell him I'm around the corner, all right?

You know, you better watch yourself.

Hey! Why's she playing on my phone?

No, man, look, man, she's just making a quick call, man. Look, she'll be off in

a moment.

I'm on a very important call, sir.

It's my other line.

Hello?

Dad! Dad, our car broke down. Can you pick us up?

What's up? You trying to play me?

Nah, man, everything's cool, man. I mean... No, it ain't cool!

Dad,

we're at our 1102 South Main, Dad. We're waiting in front of the dumpster, and

we're gonna be waiting in the car, Dad. Please hurry up. Love you. Bye.

You're supposed to be keeping that phone free. That's the reason I keep you

around.

Come on. I want to talk to you, my dog.

About what, man? What'd I do?

Shut up and come with me.

Oh, my God.

Hey.

Are you okay?

Look, it ain't no biggie, all right?

Did that guy do this to you?

Look, why do you let him treat you like that? Because.

I'd hurt him if I would have placed the stairs for food.

You gotta get beat up for that.

And you know there's hot meals and beds at the teen rescue mission.

I already know about them places, all right?

I mean, they want to know where your parents are if you go to school.

I mean, they give you a third degree and all you get is a can of yams and a

toothbrush. They don't really care about you.

That's not true.

Oh, what do you know?

How two little rich girls will come down here in your funky little Miata just so

you can say you helped the poor?

Hey, hey, hey. If we were that rich, we'd have a funky little Miata that

Ooh.

Y 'all got it real bad.

I bet having bank could really mess this up, huh?

You know, it's not all about having money.

We would probably be where you are right now if we didn't have parents who care.

And you know what? There are a lot of people who care about you, too.

If you let them.

Yeah, right.

Here.

What's this?

It's the address to the mission.

Just check it out.

I don't know. All right.

You all right?

Dad.

Dad! What?

It's so embarrassing.

We just told them we weren't that rich.

Couldn't you have brought that Mercedes?

This little dog.

He really helped us out. He gave us money to use the phone.

Oh, well, uh, thank you, uh, dog.

Dad, can we give him a lift to the team mission? Hey, hey, hold up. I didn't say

I was going down there.

Well, at least let me give you something for helping out my girls.

I didn't do it for the money, man.

I know you didn't, but I want you to have it anyway.

Look, y 'all better get out of here.

Let's go, girl. You heard Dog.

Take care of yourself.

Don't lose that number.

What a night, huh?

I didn't get a chance to schmooze with Mr. Osborne.

Well, all may not be lost.

Latrice invited me to their home for a reception next week.

Lisa, that's great news.

This time I'll make the perfect impression.

What makes you think I'm taking you?

You may not know how to act.

Come on, Lisa.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. This time I get to do all the talking and you agree with

everything I say. Got it?

That's right, dear.