Original subtitles

I love this movie.

Good choice, Terry.

You know, T, as long as I'm with you, it's all good.

Isn't it, though?

Here it comes, T.

Oh, Hercules.

Hercules, Hercules, Hercules.

Popcorn time.

There's nothing left but the buttons.

Oh, my bad.

I'll just make some more.

It's great.

Tia, what is up with your sister?

Oh, oh, I'm sorry about the popcorn.

Man, you should see her at the theater. She can finish off a jumbo size before

we find a seat. No, Tia, I'm talking about us.

You and me and your sister.

What's the problem?

You and me and your sister.

Oh, oh.

I see. See, Tyreek, usually we both have boyfriends. So, you know, she's just

used to all of us hanging together, that's all.

Oh, well, does she have any prospects?

You know, like, is anybody calling her?

Look, don't worry, Tyreek.

That's the best thing about being twins.

You know, we can vibe each other.

She can always sense when she's in the way.

Hey, guys, I got a date tomorrow, all planned.

Okay, first, we're gonna go to the observatory. Then, the arcade.

Following up with the round...

A miniature doll.

I think your twin vibe needs a tune -up.

I do my own

style in my own time. And now everybody see how different we have

come to be.

Even though I'm glad to be with ya I thought I'd feel a thrill to be me Like

got to do what's right for you

How was your date with Tyreek last night?

Crowded. Now, I told you what to do if a boy gets too close. Did your mace jam?

Oh, um, not that type of crowded.

I'm talking about the tag -along twin crowded.

So have you talked to your sister?

Well, I thought about it, but... Guys, I don't want to hurt Tamir's feelings.

I mean, I don't want her to feel left out just because I have a boyfriend.

I got a solution.

Nobody dates till they're 30.

Shoot, I may be 30 before Tyreek asks me out again.

Mom, he was sort of complaining about Tamir last night.

Well, never mind his complaint.

Now, what's important is how you feel about him.

I love Tamir, but she does have the knack for butting in at the worst. Come

Tyreek is waiting for us in front of the library.

You know, part of me says, talk to Tamir, and the other part says, shut up,

she's a chaperone.

So where are you going with all those flowers?

Down to the church.

Thanks to Sister Dobson, I got to replace the flowers on the altar.

Just because she has been the church organist for the past 200 years, she

she can go around criticizing everything and everything.

Lisa, I got something to tell you. And she knows my favorite hymns. I got the

joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. So she refuses to play it just to kick me

over.

Lisa. I swear I'd be all up in her face if she hadn't beaten up Deacon Brown so

bad.

Lisa, Mrs. Dobson died in her sleep last night.

She died?

Yeah.

You're not just saying that to cheer me up.

No. Reverend Hoskins called just a while ago.

Oh, I can't believe she's dead.

I have more unhappy news.

The Reverend wants you to speak at her funeral.

Well, I hope you told him no.

I have even more unhappy news.

I told him yes.

Well, I got some good news for you.

I'm gonna give you a head start.

Hey, guys.

What's going on?

What's going on is Jordan has been asking for your article on Recycling,

hope you've got it.

He'll get it. She hasn't got it.

Tamara, you know how Jordan freaks when you miss a guy. I think he is so cute

when he freaks.

Rihanna, please.

He is not all...

Besides, I mean, Mr. King of the Paper, he needs to chill. What? It's the king.

Oh.

What's up, George? What's up?

Long live the king.

Tamara, where's your article on recycling?

Well, uh, right now, it's up here. So it's close by.

I see. And when do you think it'll be down here?

Soon. See, last night... Have it this afternoon.

he can tell me when to turn in my article just because he's editor of the

Do you hear yourself when you speak?

So why don't you have it?

You guys, I was going to write it last night, but Tyreek came over.

Um, excuse me, Tamara, but what exactly are you doing?

I'm talking to my friends. And you know, if you ever left this room, maybe you'd

have one.

Well, maybe if you do your job, I could leave this room.

And how do you find time to talk when you haven't finished your article?

Let me show you.

So, anyways... About

the fair.

It looks like it's going to be the three of us.

No, no, no.

Look, don't worry.

I'll talk to her tonight, okay?

Hey, sis.

Um, the issue we discussed is, uh, rapidly approaching. I gotta go.

Who are you talking to?

Tariq. Uh -huh.

So what did he say?

Oh, nothing.

Um, Tamira, I need to talk to you about something that's kind of been on my

mind. T, you can talk to me about anything.

Okay, well, um...

It's about Tyreek. And you know that the three of us, we have so much fun when

we're together. I know that's right.

Well, you know how when you're hanging with someone and someone else

starts hanging with you?

I mean, you want both people to be happy, but you kind of feel like one of

is jeopardizing their relationship with the other.

Oh.

Yeah.

I'm so glad you told me.

There's no reason for you to feel that way.

So you understand?

Absolutely. And don't worry, T, I'm cool with it.

You are?

Totally. We're twins.

We're here.

Tamara, I am so glad we had this talk. Me too, sis.

You know, I think you girls see each other more now that you have separate

bedrooms than you did when you shared.

That's funny because Tia was just telling me we don't spend enough time

together.

She will?

Yeah.

She's all worried Tyreek is budding in our relationship.

So, Mary, now, are you sure that's what she said?

Of course.

We're twins.

Well, goodnight.

Goodnight. Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Oh!

Goodnight. Goodnight.

See, this just isn't working for me.

Is this better?

You know, I want to date you.

Not your sister.

Tariq asked me about going to a hockey game, right? But before he can say

anything, Tamera says, no, we hate hockey.

You do hate hockey.

I don't hate hockey.

With Tariq.

Girl, you need to break it down to her.

You think I didn't try that?

Look, if you want Tamera out your little Kool -Aid, you need to hook her up with

her own boyfriend.

I bet.

What we need is the boy catalog.

Do that.

Where's your yearbook?

Bring it on. Okay.

How about Devin Palmer for Tamir? I mean, his smile is working overtime.

Please, you'd be smiling, too, if you finally got out of the 10th grade.

What about Lee House? You know, brother's kind of fine.

Mm -hmm, brother's dating Laura Lynn, Regina Henderson, you.

He bought me milk, okay?

Okay.

Gerald Crippins.

Lee Club, Gerald Crippins, bus pay.

I know.

You guys, we can have a party.

Invite all the guys who make the cut and let nature take its course.

Hey,

Ray. Hey.

Banana nut muffin?

No, I'm cutting back on my calories.

Well, I'm going to need all my strength if I'm going to stand up at Mrs.

Dobson's funeral in front of that whole congregation and... Lie?

No, I am not going to lie in God's house.

I found a tricky way to get around this.

How are you going to do that?

Well, for example, now, what I'll say is, I cannot

express in words how Mrs. Dobson made me feel.

But what I mean is, I got the words, but I can't express how I feel in church.

I don't know, Lisa, the words sound all right, but God knows your spirit is

wrong. Oh, please, you just be happy I'm showing up.

What?

Oh, my tooth.

See, God don't like ugly.

Shut up, Ray.

Oh,

I think that nutshell cracked my crown.

Oh, you know, here, I don't think I'm going to be able to speak at that

Oh, yes, you are.

I'm not going to lie in church. Come on.

Come on, I'm going to get you to the dentist.

Come on, Dr. Wilson's office is on the way to the church.

Come on. Come on right now. Take it easy on the pain. Oh, come on. Ow!

Oh, shut up.

Jordan?

Guess he's in Washington rewriting the Constitution.

Nope. I did that yesterday.

The right to bear arms now means short sleeves for everybody.

It's not supposed to be anything. It's my article.

And it is totally one -sided.

It's about recycling. There's only one side. Do it.

Why can't you ever just take constructive criticism?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I must have missed the constructive part.

You are always doing that, turning everything around.

Yeah, well, you do it first.

And you're about to do it again. You've got three and a half hours before we go

to press.

But, Jordan, I have this party I have to go. But, Tamara, if the newspaper's

getting in your way... Then maybe you should consider another elective.

No way.

I like the newspaper, and I'm a good writer.

Then prove it.

And open.

Oh, Lisa, this tooth is more sensitive than I thought.

I'm going to give you a little more gas.

Yeah, more gas.

Excuse me, Dr. Wilson.

We're a little pressed for time.

Oh, Lisa told me about Eugenia Dodson's funeral.

Oh, you knew her?

Oh, that woman was the worst patient I ever had.

She did nothing but complain.

I can't tell you how many times she bit me.

Kicked me.

Dug her nails into my arm.

That old bitty even tried to strangle me with my own floss.

And she rarely paid her bills. And when she did, it was in one dollar

installments.

I remember the first time she came into this office. You'll love this story. I

was putting out new magazines and she said, what are you, a cheerleader? And I

said, no, I'm the dentist.

And then she tried to get my car towed. I couldn't believe it. I go to the

bathroom for three minutes. I come back, she's on the phone with the towing

company.

You sure you're okay, Lisa?

I think you OD'd on a laughing gas.

Ray Campbell, I'm fine.

I'll get the seats, you get the popcorn.

Why don't we both get seats?

We are gathered here today on the occasion of the home -going of Cynthia

Next time, before you leave the house, two words.

Ask somebody.

Look like a pigeon's nesting in her head.

Here to celebrate the life of Sister Eugenia is someone who worked with her

closely and loved her dearly.

I thought I was speaking.

Sister Lisa Landry. It's showtime!

Hey!

Who stole my cars?

Oh, never mind.

I'll just speak for my...

I'm going to tell you all what I really thought about Sister Eugenia Dobson.

When I think about Sister Eugenia, I think about the biggest pain in my

Lisa, we all felt it when she left us.

I used to come to this church in a good mood, and that little organ grinder

would walk up to me and make me just want to throw up my hands and praise the

Lord. Can I get an amen?

Football team? Girl, that is a football team.

Well, uh, I see a quarterback I'd like to tackle.

Uh, hold up.

He's for Tamera.

Oh, well, uh, what about him?

Tamera. Well, could you label the guy for Tamera with a sticker or something?

Tamera? Where have you been?

We're having a party, remember?

Sorry I'm late, guys.

But get this.

Jordan the Jerk made me rewrite my article. Can you believe that?

forget about jordan and me tony tony this is my sister tamira he and i are in

history club together i wish jordan were history and just for the record i did

not write that article again because he told me i did it because i wanted to can

i help you enjoy the food anyways then jordan was all like but tamira you're

Hey, you know what's unfair is the way Roosevelt lost to Central.

Yeah, and here to tell us more about that is Daryl. You know Daryl, Tamira.

He's in the football team.

Tell her, Daryl.

Uh, I'm on the football team.

Jordan's always talking about how we're all a team. Ha!

A team? A team is supposed to have your back, not jump on it. You know what I'm

saying?

Not really.

get a soda and then i'll tell you what else jordan said what did i say dang

you stop sneaking up on me and what the heck you're doing in my house look i

only came here to tell you that i think you're a wonderful writer and this

rewrite is terrific well don't think that you can come up in my house and

terrific yeah

That's only because I know how good you can be. Well, then why didn't you say

that? Because you argue with everything I say. I do not. You do too. You're

doing it now.

That's why it's so impossible for me to tell you that I like you.

guys out there in the dance floor, we're all about to jam to some mushrooms. So

come on, girl, let's get our bounce on.

Gia, I'm talking to Jordan.

You need me to help you throw him out?

No, I need you to leave us alone.

Three's a crowd.

Get it?

Oh, Matt, I'm sorry.

I guess I, uh...

He's still talking about Jordan.

Uh, I don't think she'll be tagging along with us any longer.

Well, unless...

Lisa told me about Eugenia Dobson's funeral.

I'm sorry. I thought the wall was falling down.

I think about Eugenia.

What do I think about?

Jordan's always talking about help.