All language subtitles for Sister Sister s05e07 A Friend in Deed

Guess who's coming to Bookum Joe for a
book signing?

A celebrity?

Kirk Franklin. He's coming to sign his
new CD.

Tia, that is so cool.

You're practically friends with Kirk
Franklin, which means I'm practically

friends with Kirk Franklin. We're all
friends up in here.

I am not his friend. It's just, you
know, part of my job. No big deal.

Big deal, Tia.

You could be photographed with Kirk
Franklin. Then your picture ends up in

People. A famous producer sees you.
You're whipped to Hollywood where you

deal to have your own sitcom.

We could be famous.

No. Stop the madness.

Getting excited about a celebrity is so
junior high.

Oh, you're right.

Maybe I was a little crazy.

It happens.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Academy, oh,
my gosh, this is so heavy.

Oh, my goodness.

I'd like to thank my parents, my agents,
and all the

little people who got me here.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You forgot to thank me.

Even though I'm glad to be with you, I
gotta feel a thrill for me like you got

to do what's right for you.

People, if we don't find a way to sell
all these tickets, the band won't go to

state. What?

Is there a problem with the raffle?

Let me put it this way. You see, sales
are so low, the only person going to

state is the bus driver.

He only came up with the lamest
fundraising idea in the history of

High. You've let down the entire school.

Oh, come on, guys.

I'm sure there's a way we can make this
raffle work.

What we need is a gimmick. You know,
like somebody who is somebody to pull

winning ticket?

Oh, you need a celebrity?

Well, I got the hookup.

Who is it this time?

Cousin Urkel or Uncle Ice Cube?

This time I'm not lying. It's my third
cousin on my Aunt Betty side.

Batman from the group Immature.

Mm -hmm. And my sister is TV's Tootie.

Jason, none of us know any celebrities.

Oh, but we will. Real soon. You know,
after Samara's tarred and feathered on

football field.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute, y 'all.
We don't have to go there.

I can get a celebrity.

Tamara, your father's limo commercial on
cable does not make him a celebrity.

I'm not talking about my dad.

I'm talking about a real celebrity.

Like who?

Like Kirk Franklin.

For real?

You know him?

Tia does.

Um, he's gonna be at Bookum Joe.

You see, Tia can get him to come in and
pull the winning raffle ticket like

that. No lie.

Snap, if Kirk Franklin shows up...

What are all these tickets?

Tamara, because of you, this is going to
be the bomb.

Oh, God, no.

We're all the bomb.

Tamara, how are you going to get T to
hook you up with Kurt Franklin?

I have no idea.

Hello, Lisa.

Hey, Ray.

Vivica called. She wants you to go with
her to the Donna Karan Fashion Show at

Saks on Sunday.

Oh, that's so nice.

But come Sunday, I'm going to be at the
Lions game sitting on the 50 -yard line

holding a beer.

Ray, come Sunday, you're going to be at
Saks sitting outside the dressing room

holding Vivica's purse.

What makes you say that?

Well, I've seen you with her, and how
can I put this delicately?

I can't. She got you whipped.

I am not whipped.

Who watered her plants at the crack
of...

Well, she was out of town.

Who picked up her stuff from the
drugstore last week?

Well, she was busy. You know, she had
to... Wit.

I'll bet you $100 that you'll end up at
that fashion show.

Well, you're on, Missy Miss.

Because I want you to know I am my own
man.

I do what I want to do when I want to do
it.

And right now, I have something I want
to do.

Yeah, Vivica mentioned that she's
expecting you at four to clean out her

gutters. Oh, good.

because that's what I want to do.

Hi,

Sid.

Hey, Tamir.

Tia, I really love that sweater you're
wearing.

What do you want?

I'm just trying to establish some love
in the room.

Well, I feel the love, okay?

Good, because, um... I told everyone you
could get Kirk Franklin a poorly

winning raffle ticket at school.

What?

I promised everybody I would get Kirk
Franklin.

If I don't, they'll think I'm a liar.

You are a liar.

Yeah, but I don't want everybody to know
it. Oh, my God.

Look, Tia, if they find out, I'll never
be able to show my face at school again.

Oh, they won't miss it, because my face
will still be there.

Tia, if the band doesn't go to state,
it'll be all my fault.

Tamir, what do you want me to do, huh?

Stroll over to Kirk Franklin and say,
Yo, Kirk, how about saving my sister

being the joke of the school?

That works.

But, um, you might want to drop, uh,
something about the raffle.

Not gonna happen. Oh, dear, please!

Please! Please, please, please, please,
please, please!

Remember the womb!

Oh, no, Tamara.

Not the womb again.

You know you're gonna do it.

Not unless you get out of my face.

Tia, you're really starting to suck the
love out of the room here.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Where are you going?

Clark, I was going to see if Mr.
Franklin wanted a smoothie.

Oh, trying to be slick, huh?

Breaching security.

If he wants a smoothie, I'll get him a
smoothie.

I'm the one in charge of celebrity
smoothie relations.

Now, get over there by that door. I saw
a girl with Afro puffs trying to sneak

in. But Clark, I... Roger,

can you see if T's talking to Kirk
Franklin?

No.

Man. The guy wasn't anything like this
to Kool Moe D.

Hey, Clark, the Afro -puff crisis is
under control, so now can I meet him?

late. He's out of here.

Back away from the celebrity.

Keep your hands in view at all times.
Wait, wait, Mr. Franklin, Kirk.

Tia, stop stalking the celebrity.

Now get behind that counter and start
serving those Kirkachinos.

Kirkacino? That sounds good.

This is great.

Makes me want to stomp.

Will you be quiet and let the girl tell
us what time Kirk's coming to school?

He's not, Tamara.

I never even got near him.

Eeya!

What am I supposed to do? Tamara, just
don't worry, okay? I mean, you only made

one little comment in the meeting. Who's
going to remember that?

Hey, you guys, check it out. A special
edition... of the school paper for

tomorrow's fundraiser.

Surprise celebrity ad raffle.

It's going to be a surprise, all right.

Why doesn't it say Kirk Franklin?

Oh, that old printing press at school?

It has a broken K.

Yeah, and nobody would pay to see her
friendly.

No, but this is even better. People are
buying these tickets like crazy just to

see what celebrity is going to show up.
I'm saying, girl, this raffle is blowing

up, and it's all because of you, Tamara,
and I'm going to make sure everybody

knows it.

Later.

Well, Tamara, made front page.

I don't know what the next headline's
gonna say.

Angry students, ill Tamara.

Well, out of the goodness of her heart,
Tia tried to get Kirk Franklin, but she

couldn't.

It's not her fault.

It's all on me.

So, basically, I lied.

And that's the truth.

We are all going to look like idiots.
The whole school is going to show up

expecting a surprise celebrity guest,
and the surprise is we have no one.

all it takes is one phone call from Aunt
Betty and bam!

Cousin Batman to the rescue.

Roger, can you really hook us up with
Immatures?

Did you hear me say bam?

Why are you just sitting there, boy? Go
call.

Oh, so now you believe me.

No more shut up, Roger.

Go home, Roger.

Now it's, we need you, Roger. You're the
man, Roger.

Nobody said you're the man.

Oh. Well, then let me sit back down.

You're the man.

I didn't hear everybody.

You're the man.

Oh, please.

You're embarrassing me.

Well, we're going to be killing you if
you don't make that phone call.

Coming together like clockwork. And you
guys were worried.

Hey, Miss Landry.

Oh, Roger. Did those girls send you in
here to get their snacks again?

Uh -uh.

They sent me in here to save the day.
Because I'm the man.

Have you been talking to Rick?

Hey, Betty.

How's the weather in L .A.? I know
you're not calling long distance on my

Yes, Roger.

How's Batman?

Roger Evans, your nephew, you know,
three times removed.

If she don't know you by now, hang up.
This is costing me money.

Yeah, that's right, Jimmy's son.

Yeah, check it out.

Two friends of mine lied and promised
their school that they can get a

for their raffle.

So I need you to hook me up with Batman.

Oh, he's on the road with immature?

Well, don't you have a bat signal or
something?

Oh, nice talking to you, too.

Uh, Evans.

Roger Evans.

Uh, Roger, sounds like you could use
some sound advice from somebody who is

older and wiser.

Yes, ma 'am. I could.

Well, here's your advice. Next time you
call long distance on my phone, you call

collect. My initials are not MCI.

Well?

Sorry. That man's on tour with Immature.

We've got to find somebody by tomorrow
night. I know. Shoot, at this point, I'm

so desperate, I'm about ready to take a
blow dryer and a press and comb to Roger

and pass him off as Batman.

Yeah, let that work.

Well, it's either that or we stand in
front of the whole school and tell them

was all a lie.

Well, you know, if you squint with one
eye and don't look out of the other,

brother does kind of look like Batman.

We're number one.

Are you telling me that you went to the
Lions game?

Yes, I am.

Yes, I am.

And I am still the man.

Oh, must have stained from a Detroit
dog.

Interesting. Yeah, and it was good, too.

Oh, hold up, Mr.

Macho. I seem to detect a rather
delicate odor.

One not quite indigenous to the Pontiac
Silverdome.

Uh, what are you talking about?

It's Vanilla Musk.

Um, I can explain.

It's me.

I wanted to try something different.

I'm all about Vanilla Musk.

Ray Campbell, you know you went to that
fashion show.

Only for an hour.

And then I went over to the Lions game
for the second half.

Oh, well, I'm impressed.

You supported your woman and you still
managed to do what you wanted to do.

Guess that means I am not whipped. Yes,
it does.

And I don't owe you $100. No, you don't.
You only owe me $50 because you're

still half -wit.

I'd love to stay and argue the point,
but I have to get ready to go to the

airport for a pickup.

These immature kids are coming in.

Oh, Ray, you don't even know them kids.
Don't be calling them names.

They are a singing group.

Immature is their name.

Immature?

Oh, Tia and Tamara have been trying to
get up with their school raffle.

Oh, we got just enough time to pick them
up at the airport and...

Save our girls from public humiliation.
What are you talking about?

I'll tell you all about it in the car.
See, Roger's our betty. She's in L .A.

Come on, Ray. Come on.

Now, remember, Roger, yell a lot and end
with, you know what I'm saying, and do

it in a low, sexy voice.

Okay.

Check this out.

East side, west side, Detroit side, you
know what I'm saying?

have to change our names.

How about Lee and Lamera?

Chill, Lamera.

Now listen, Roger. When you hear Tamera
introduce Batman, you run on stage, pull

the ticket, and run off. Run, pull, run.
Got it? Yeah. Pull, run, run. Got it.

Wait, hold it, you guys.

He still doesn't look right.

I know.

Under your top button.

A t -shirt.

Batman does not wear a t -shirt.

A belt of chill.

We need you on stage. Hurry up.

Okay, you guys. This is it.

Let go.

Dead girls walking.

Batman, you are so sweet to come down
here and pull the winning ticket.

Well, how could I say no? You wouldn't
let me out of the limo.

Well, you're out now.

And I want you to know my girls are
going to appreciate this so much.

Well, I'm always down for helping out at
school.

So, uh... Where's the star dressing room
you were telling me about?

Right there.

Ooh, I've been in worse.

Where's Batman?

Oh, he's in the boys' dressing room.

Did you find Tia and Tamara?

Uh, not yet.

Beth thinks they're in the band room.
Oh, great. I can't wait to tell them the

good news.

Man, I knew Aunt Betty would come
through.

What up?

Who are you?

Roger. Roger Evans.

Oh, Jimmy, son.

Man, I heard you were in juvie.

No, no, no, no.

That's Charlie, son.

Man, let me tell you, I truly enjoy your
music.

And as a musician myself, I... Watch it,
cuz.

Why y 'all G'd up like me? Because the
music department was in trouble.

I know.

Lisa and her chauffeur clued me.

That's why I'm here.

Man. This is the first time I ever had a
prayer answer.

Thanks, bro.

So, uh, you're gonna go out on stage as
me?

Uh -huh.

Man, are you tripping?

You don't look nothing like me. Who you
tellin'?

I look better.

I'm scared is on point.

And I am Batman.

That's right.

Keep believing it. Yeah.

Oh, now that is what I call a funky
shirt.

Thanks, Miss Landry.

Miss Landry. Oh, you know you can call
me Lisa.

I can?

Cool, Lisa.

And let me just say again how happy I am
that you're doing this.

So you're not still mad about the long
-distance phone call? Oh, no, I'm not.

Long -distance?

Roger?

Yes, Lisa?

Don't you call me Lisa. Boy, get out of
my way. What is wrong with you? Where is

Batman?

I guess he's out on stage.

Well, what are we standing around here
for? Come on, let's go.

What you do to your head, child? I know
you didn't use my blow dryer.

And now, the moment you've been waiting
for.

guest. Just so you know, he has a very
bad toothache, so he won't be saying

much. In fact, he won't be saying
anything at all.

How's it going?

Something's wrong with the girls. What?

Well, they're treating Batman like
he's... Roger?

Bat! Bat! Bat!

When I say shut, you say up. Shut up!
Shut up!

Are y 'all ready to party?

We're gonna try and sing.

Tell the truth.

Batman's in the house.

Batman's in the house. Come on, now say
Batman's in the house. Everybody listen.

Batman's in the house.

Quiet in the house.

Quiet in the house.

Um, there's something you all should
know.

I was so worried about letting everybody
down that I was willing to do anything

to make this raffle work.

If he's Roger, then who are you?

I'm Batman.

Tamara and Tia have been way too modest,
you guys.

If it weren't for these two, I wouldn't
be here tonight. So let's show them some

love. Come on, everybody.

And now, I have a couple more mystery
guests for you guys.

Before I pull to win the ticket, I want
y 'all to give it up for the fellas.

Eddie B and Romeo, Immatures in the
Head.

How you did it, but thanks for saving
our butts again.

I just hope your lying days are over.

That's right, because I have just
kidnapped my last celebrity.

He may be family, but I don't get it.

What are girls seeing, cuz?

producer sees you, you're with the Holly
De... Hollyville.

No!

Quite indigenous.

You're deflated.

I'm all about the middle... I'm all
about the...

I think we're gonna be talking for my
sister.

See, Kirk. I mean, Arch.

Kirk's not your name.