Original subtitles

Another Saturday night, and we're off to cheer our b -ball team to victory.

Because we're winners!

And then afterwards, we all go to our favorite hangout. Where lately it seems

like everybody has dates but us.

Because we're losers.

That's what people think if you go two Saturdays in a row without a date. One

more, then it's three strikes, we're out.

Wait, wait. Wait a minute, Tamera. Why should we care so much what people

It's demeaning. It's humiliating.

It's high school.

Look, everybody.

It's dateless and hopeless.

We gotta get a date.

I ain't ever gonna let you go.

something to say thank you. You know, for letting me advertise my business on

that billboard you rented.

Oh, Lisa.

This is... my watch.

Uh -huh.

I got it fixed for you.

When did it break?

Anyway, I'll be right up there on that billboard.

Right up there on that billboard for all the world to see. Wearing one of my

fiercest fashions by Lisa Eck.

Oh, Ray, I know this is just gonna really jumpstart my career.

Lisa, I'm really happy to lend you the ad space, but I can't guarantee it's

gonna work.

Are you kidding?

I better get a big old comfy cushion and put it by the phone, because I'm going

to get more calls than the Piggly Wiggly or Turkey giveaway did.

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy.

About what?

Uh, the moon went down, the sun came up.

Okay.

Um, Tia, look, I've been thinking.

Who cares if we don't have dates Saturday night? We can hang out with

and still have a good time, right?

Uh, well, come here. Like, we can cut the mouth.

out of magazine pictures and make them talk.

But... Hello there, little lady.

What's on your dangerous mind?

Well, Cleo... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um... Uh, I got a date for Saturday.

You what?

Come here. Sit down.

See, I met this really cute guy, Kyle. And you know, he asked me out.

And since I'm not completely crazy, I said yes.

Oh, man.

How pathetic is this?

I can't even get a date with my own sister.

Samira, are you going to be okay?

Oh, yeah.

I'm okay.

I'm going to rise above this.

Look, maybe I won't have a guy on my arm Saturday night, but that doesn't mean

I'm going to have a breakdown.

Got to get a guy.

Hard to get.

Oh, great.

You scared him off, you big dope.

Why can't I get a guy to talk to me?

Well, for one thing, you talk to yourself.

No man wants to date a whacked -out babe.

Roger, I just have to find a date for Saturday night.

What? You don't have a date?

Well, it's a fine time to tell me. I just said yes to Vicky Carmazie.

You mean that exchange student with the crossed eyes?

Hey, as long as she keeps her shades on and hides that big old snaggle tooth,

who's the wiser?

Everybody's got a hookup of me.

Oh, buck up, bony. You want a man?

I got the answer.

Calculus? Precisely.

A cool young dude passes by.

He dropped this at his feet.

Oh, my, how clumsy of me, cool young dude.

He hands it back to you, and you gaze into his eye.

And you reel that fucker in. It's easier shooting pigeons in the park.

Really? Give me that book.

Tamara Campbell, my office. Now.

Told you you'd get a man.

Taxi by Lisa, get out the... Who?

What's wrong?

somebody's obviously playing a cruel joke on you.

Oh. Oh, I see.

Calvin Klein couldn't possibly call me. Is that what you're saying?

Well, yeah.

I mean, come on, it's a big billboard, but he can't see it from New York.

If you read the fashion section, which you don't, you know that he's in town

this week, which he is, and very well could see my billboard and call me,

he did so hot.

Since you're making phone calls, could you call the Acme Tool Company to see if

they drop an anvil on my head?

Oh, honey.

You're not having a real good Saturday night, are you?

Oh, Tamara, not having a date doesn't mean that there's something wrong with

you. Does it?

No. At least not until you hit the big 3 -0.

Oh, no, honey, you're pretty and you got a good sense of humor and a really

beautiful voice.

Now, sweetheart, you'll be fine.

If you need a little pick -me -up, one of my bed pillows is full of tootsie

rolls.

Not anymore.

I got it!

You get the date, you get the door. What's left for me?

Tamira?

My brother just dropped in from out of town.

He goes to Bronson Academy.

That's a really good school, isn't it? Yeah, he loves it, especially the

basketball program.

He's the star center on the hoop team.

Anyway,

I don't get to see him too often, and, well, I'm kind of feeling guilty about

that. So I need to spend some time with him.

Sorry, but I got to cancel our date.

What?

I don't know. It wouldn't be much fun for you.

Oh, sure it would.

Um, listen, um, I could bring my sister.

You got a sister?

Yeah. And, you know, I've been feeling a little guilty myself about leaving her

home alone.

You are all that, Sia.

But maybe we ought to get these two together first and make sure they get

Just tell me one thing.

Is your brother cute?

Oh, yeah. He's real cute.

Then they'll definitely get along.

I'll see you after the game. See you.

See you.

Bye.

For our date.

Thank you. Excuse me.

We'll need four glasses of water.

We're waiting for our date.

I think you made your point.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm just warming up. Oh,

I just went to the bathroom to check my makeup.

For my date.

Hi, Tia.

Oh, hi, Kyle. Hey, um, my sister, she just ran some little girl through, but

she's just dying to meet your brother. Hey, where is he? Right here.

Clayton, come say hi to Tia.

Say, Clayton, why don't you go ahead and play at the jukebox, my man? Cool, man.

I'll get my pussy done, you know what I'm saying?

What's up, Tia?

Uh, didn't you tell me your brother went to Bronson Academy?

Yeah, it's a private elementary school. You said you heard of it.

I was flirting!

Oh, well, he's a great little kid. He'll be here.

S -W -D.

Sister without date.

Oh, look.

It's J -W -C.

Jerk without clue.

It just so happens that T and I both have dates.

Mine goes to Bronson Academy.

He's their star center.

Look, Tia, I'm really sorry about the mix -up, but would you mind keeping your

eyes on Clayton for a few minutes? I double parked. I gotta go move my car.

Wait, wait, Cal, you can't... And if you get that line... Put him right in that

time there.

Hey, Tamera, you know

what? They're evacuating the restaurant.

Don't ask questions. Just head right for the car. Come on.

What's the matter, Tia? You afraid I might find out you're both here alone?

our buddy boy we're talking i'm talking we're talking so fine and all mine

but hey why believe me why don't you mean it for yourself hey there is my

right behind you

is your date?

Well, hey there, little fella.

So you're a basketball star, huh?

Who do you play for?

Burp you?

You have been bitten in the kneecap.

I'm so scared.

Please, girls, don't let your big bad boyfriend beat me up.

Which one of you hotties got the urge to hook a brother up with some chili

cheese?

Sleep with your eyes open.

Tamira, it was embarrassing for me, too.

I mean, I didn't ask him to belch. Babies got back with his Pepsi.

Besides, you're the one who gave him those two straws, remember?

Yeah, I guess you're right.

But Marlon and his friends had a pretty good laugh.

But you know what? Why don't we just try to put this nightmare behind us?

Marlon.

Hey, Double Dip.

I found something I think belongs to you.

You?

Well, I felt for the poor kid.

Wandering the halls, mournfully calling your names.

That was me once.

Carry on, little man. I pass the torch to you.

But don't expect much of anything.

Go away, Roger.

Except that.

Clayton, we've got to go to class.

Now? But I've got a little something for you, too.

A little present.

Okay, well, give us our present.

have to go, okay?

Cool. Come on. Check it out.

Somebody like Calvin Klein would be staying at a fancy hotel.

Something smells funny.

Probably me. I got a CK cologne from the neck up, an obsession from the neck

down.

I figure whichever way the wind blows, you'd be impressed.

Calvin!

Yoo -hoo! Mr. Klein!

Lisa understood.

What do you want?

Make it fast. I'm missing Kirk.

Confessions by Lisa Inc.

I have an appointment to see Mr.

Calvin Klein. Oh, no.

Let me guess.

That's your ad down the block?

Why, yes.

You see there, Ray? You saw my billboard from this very house.

This was just a joke.

Calvin never called me.

Go ahead, just say it.

Say what?

I told you so.

I was just crazy to think that Calvin Klein would call somebody like me.

Oh, no, you weren't.

I believe in you.

But big business can be full of disappointments.

I was worried that you weren't ready for that.

I can't bear to see you hurt.

Oh, Ray.

I'm going to be all right.

I don't need Calvin Klein to tell me how good I am. I know it.

One day I'm going to see my name in light.

Maybe sooner than you think.

What's it say up there?

Chung King Takeout.

I could use a headroom.

No, I mean the billboard next to that one.

The one that's all lit up.

Fashions by Lisa.

I'm Miss Landry.

Is my brother here?

My, no.

Come in, Kyle.

Hi, Kyle.

Are you looking for Clayton?

Who's Clayton?

My brother. Have you seen him?

How would I know? I'm only seeing you for the first time.

Ray, Clayton's the little eight -year -old boy the girls went out with last

Saturday.

Wait a minute. The girls went out with an eight -year -old?

Ray, please, go make a family.

We'll talk later.

Nobody tells me anything.

Hey, I'm sorry, Cub, but we haven't seen Clayton since we had to chase him out

of our school this afternoon.

You what?

You know, Dad, he embarrassed us in front of all our friends. Yeah, we had

tell him to leave us alone.

You said that?

Oh, man.

He probably ran away again.

Again? That child has run away before?

Who, Clayton?

Yeah, from our grandma, from school.

Since our mom died, it feels like nobody wants him.

That's just not true.

Well, we're sorry.

But, you see, you guys, people were laughing at us. Oh, so you were worried

about what your friends were thinking.

I mean, the fact that you hurt a little child, that didn't matter, as long as

you look good in front of your friends.

Girl, don't you realize that all that really matters is what you think of

yourself?

So let me ask you something.

What do you think of yourself right now?

Hey, Clay, what do you say?

How'd you two find me?

Well, when you weren't looking, we slipped a low jack in your pocket.

Truth?

We figured you'd go to the same place we did when we ran away.

You ran away?

Oh, we bolted all right.

Oh, we didn't go through with it.

And we're really glad we caught you before you caught that Graham.

Why?

He told me to go away and leave you alone.

Oh, come on, man.

We say that to all our friends.

Yeah. Sometimes to people we don't even know.

Hey, you! Go away and leave us alone!

See?

That's how you say hello, friends.

Well, that's up to you, Clayton.

Look.

We hurt your feelings, and we're sorry.

We'd like to make it up to you.

Is there anything we can do?

Well... Come here, Rob. People are laughing

at us.

Oh, yeah?

Well, let's give them some of the laughing.

cow couldn't make it.

Yeah, but my other two brothers are gonna love you.