Original subtitles

Boy! Man, I need some room to cool down.

I'm sorry, but maybe you better back off.

See, there's this fine boy in school, Jesse, and I've been trying to get next

him since... What are you doing way back there?

Come here, come here.

Anyway, during lunch, I slipped this heart -shaped post -it into his chicken

burrito. Pretty romantic, huh?

Well, the big dope ate it.

It's just not fair.

Tell me about it. That dog, Marlon Baker, was elected class president, even

though he was passing these out.

It's a man's world to let a man do the job.

Excuse me, but we women are just as intelligent and focused as any man.

Right, Tamara?

Huh?

Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.

Do you think this would fit in a pudding cup?

I am so alone.

Ray, Ray, help me.

Help me, Ray.

I've been ambushed.

Oh, my God, Lisa, what happened? Oh, it was horrible.

I was standing in line at Freddy's Fabric World, eating a free candy at the

register like I always do.

And this punk, he pulled out a pair of scissors.

He attacked you?

out another credit card, huh?

I swear, Lisa. Put one of those things in your hand, you're like a kid in a

candy store. Especially when you're in a candy store.

Well, I know if I could work and make enough money to get out of debt. If I

could just launch my large and luscious line.

But I need supplies. I need fabric. Fred, a great big dummy.

Speaking of which...

Then give me a credit card.

Oh, you ugly anyway.

You going skating, honey?

Yep. I'm going to knock a puck around the rink and pretend it's Marlon Baker's

head.

Marlon, those guys, they still giving you girls a bad time?

Mom, it's like all of a sudden boys rule the school and we're second -class

citizens.

and looking cute for them.

Tia, is Jesse gonna think I'm cute or what?

Samira, you're not really helping out the cause, okay?

Oh, lighten up, Tia.

Jesse's not one of Marlon's morons. He's really sweet.

Mm -hmm.

Hey, hey, hey.

What about I skate around and fall down and pretend to twist my itty -bitty

ankle?

Guys love it when you're helpless.

We have to talk in the car.

Hello?

Carmine's credit crunches?

Is it true that you can restore my credit? No questions asked?

Oh, wonderful!

Yes, my name is Lisa Landry.

Hello?

Well, now, we've only got a few left. And ladies, how about this combination

sewing machine minibar?

I whistle while I work.

Open up your own shop at Home Credit Line.

Absolutely free.

Oh, no, I shouldn't. But why not?

Oh, ooh, baby, kiss me.

Who's gonna tell him? Not me. Ooh, you got yourself a deal.

Pretty good skate.

Me? Oh, you're a much better skater than I am.

Oh, maybe, but you look a lot better in that skirt.

Marlon, you should have known.

Hey, Tia, anyone ever tell you that you skate like a girl?

You could, too.

Hey, come on, guys. Would you give me my puck?

Come on, Tia. Are you going to cry?

Marlon, what do you think you're doing, man?

What? I'm just getting a little practice in my man. Hockey team tryouts are

tomorrow.

Sorry, ladies, but you're going to have to clear the ice.

What for?

Well, you're not thinking of going out for the team, are you?

I might.

You got a problem with that?

Oh, no, but your mommy would.

Playing a big boy's game.

What? Why, you knock -kneed, bumpy -headed wish you saved. Fuck the rain.

to you, you know, me, I'd love to go one -on -one with you, but, well, you might

break a nail.

Look, hockey's guys only, babe. School policy.

Sorry.

Hey,

I'm sorry about that.

If it was up to me, I'd let girls try out. I mean, we're all equal, right?

Thanks, Jesse.

You gotta love him.

But I don't make up the rules.

Tell you what, Tamara, since neither one of us believe in this me -man -me -in

-charge thing, why don't you be the one to call me?

Yes!

Hey,

Chick. Yeah, yeah, it's me again. I'd like to place another order on my

credit.

Winner when I hear one. And what do I beat, Lisa?

I'd like to lose sight.

and the matching dangledrop earrings, the ones with the live fish in them.

I got a pair of comfortable fists with those.

Okay. Oh, and extra pepperoni with that. Thank you.

Oh, big, strong man.

Oh, look at those wide shoulders.

Bring it on over here, Daddy.

Hmm, what do you have in mind?

Well, close your eyes.

large and luscious dress, I'll get a real big duck.

Well, I feel like one already.

See ya.

Totally agree.

I myself believe a woman has the right to do anything a man does.

Thanks, Roger.

And if you, a woman, want to take me, a man, out, pay for dinner, pay for the

movies, and have your way with me, I give you my firm support.

Oh, brother.

If you weren't so pouty, maybe somebody would take you to the business.

I'm just doing Lisa a favor, so you guys just drop the jokes, okay?

Okay, you got it, Dad.

Oh, by the way, what do you want for Mother's Day?

Tamela, Tamela, don't tease your daddy now.

Oh, you can take a break now, Ray Paul.

How much longer is this gonna last? I refuse to watch the Pistons game in a

cocktail dress.

Uh, Mr. Campbell?

If I was to watch the game with you, would that be construed as a date?

Oh, Roger.

Yes, ma 'am.

Get my hands free.

Would you please help me out of this?

Sure.

So, did you have fun down at the rink?

No. You know, they won't even let us try out for the hockey team just because

we're girls.

Excuse me, but that's gender discrimination.

It sure is, and believe me, I know a little bit about that.

What do you mean?

Well, when I was eight, my mom bought me a ventriloquist dummy.

Bobo J. Hobo.

I was so proud.

But when I went down to the playground, all the other boys started chanting,

Weemies got a dolly! Weemies got a dolly! It wasn't a dolly. It was a

That's the big difference, you know. You just go look it up. Just go look it up.

Ray, is this going anywhere?

Yeah, yeah.

You see, I had my mom send it back.

Well, if I had to do over again, I stand up to those little thugs. Because

nobody has the right to deny you anything based on some sexual

don't you let them.

Thanks, Ray.

Tamara, Tamara.

We don't have to. We just want them to want us. And they will, because we're

every bit as good as they are.

I don't know, Tia.

Oh, come on, Tamara.

Just imagine the look on Jesse's face when he sees you snapping off a shot

the slot.

He likes women to be equal to men.

He'll be all over you like dip on a chip.

Dip on a chip?

You really think so?

But Tia, they're not even going to let us try out.

No girls allowed, remember?

Oh, I think there might be a way around that.

Hurry up, Pamira.

Goodness, I knew you were going to make us be late. Me?

You're the one that spent two hours on her hair. Hey, looks are important in

something like this, okay?

Here they come.

I'm telling you.

Hey, you guys here for trials?

Get away with this.

Come here.

Those bozos bought us the sky, didn't they?

Now all we gotta do is make them beg us to be on the team.

Oh, Tia!

I feel funny about fooling Jesse.

He told me I was the only girl he'd ever cry in front of. Come here, come here,

come here. When Jesse finds out what we did, he'll go crazy for you. And Marlon

will just go crazy.

So? We'll both be happy.

We've got a couple walk -ons. Oh, yeah.

Hey, you two got your paperwork?

Uh -huh.

Oh, you're from Canada.

practice jersey, so go suit up. Suit up? Oh.

Suit up?

Uh, you mean in jail?

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Uh, uh, we French Canadians, how you say, just alone.

Hey, no stars on this team, mon ami.

We all take our pants off the same way, side by side.

Jacques.

Don't ask me, Gilles.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Excuse. Uh, what are you guys wearing?

Love's baby sauce?

I forgot, okay?

Samara, is that you in there?

Roger. Quiet, yes.

Just don't tell anyone, okay?

Don't worry, I won't. Just for a moment there, I was attracted to you. And

that's a moment I'd rather forget.

Roger, we're dressed like... Please, I don't need to know all the assorted

details. First your dad's in a fetching ensemble, and then this?

I wonder you always tell me go home, Roger.

What are you guys doing in that house when I'm not there?

Come on, John.

You guys need help, even if you do smell good.

Gentlemen, there's some empty lockers next to mine. Let's go change.

That big girl's got it going on.

Lisa, why do we have a cookie jar that plays the national anthem?

Hey, those Nilla Wafers were baked in America, buddy.

Okay, okay, I got them with my new line of credit from the Shop at Home Network.

What? Somebody gave you credit?

Don't you see what's going on here?

I mean, your spending problem has become a full -blown addiction.

You're hooked on the shop -at -home network.

You're out of control.

Ray, that is just stupid. I am not hooked on nothing.

I can quit any time I want. Yeah, right, you can quit.

Any time.

Lisa Landry, you ordered a milking machine?

Oh, help me, Ray. There's a cow coming tomorrow.

Oh,

the babes at Rocket Burger.

They were checking us out. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

Hey, so tell us, Canada, what are the girls like where y 'all are from?

Oh, uh,

uh, we respect our women. Uh, in sports, they play with us side by side.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't mind a couple girls in our locker room, you know,

cokes, picking up our dirty towels.

Hey, Jess, maybe we could get that little honey in the flirt skirt, the one

made a power play for you.

Yeah, Tamara.

Oh, yeah, she's a honey all right.

I own her.

I mean, when I say jump, she's all over me like a coke. You know what I'm

saying? And girlfriend's got it bad.

Oh, me?

Hey, Mark, man, the other day I told her, you're the only girl I'll ever cry

front of.

Oh, man, you're a dog playing that pretty little game. You know what I'm

You like her? Because when I kick her in the curb, you can get with her.

Hey,

Canada, let's get on the ice.

Oh, he is mine.

He is so mine.

Come on.

Let's go kick some hockey butt.

Jim!

Okay,

Lita. Here comes another one.

And what then would be complete without this incredibly realistic stuffed

squirrel collection?

Ray, please.

Just let me have one squirrel.

The one with the derby. No, Lisa.

You can kick this habit, but you gotta do it cold turkey.

Okay. Okay, you're right.

You know, I feel like I really can

go through with this.

All thanks to you. Bless you, Ray Campbell.

Well, Lisa, sometimes in life you have to...

Dig deep to find your inner strength. I'm just providing the shovel.

Well, now that I'm on the road to recovery, how about a big old hunk of

celebration pie?

Sounds good to me. Oh, no, no, no, you sit.

You're letting me do something for you.

But call right now, folks. These squirrels are going fast.

You know who we haven't heard from in a little while?

Lisa from Detroit.

Lisa, are you out there?

Come on, Lisa, give us a call. Well, just forget about it, Pally.

She doesn't need your kind anymore.

I'm here, Chet, but I gotta talk fast.

Oh, oh, oh, and six flow beads and the mint port -a -potty, and I want... Give

me that bowl.

Don't you bite me.

Chet! Chet!

All right,

listen up. Listen up. This'll be a scrimmage.

Canada boys, play for it.

You're great.

Yeah, you can play.

Right.

But not with you.

Tamara!

Girls!

That's right, little fella.

You all just got creamed by a couple of girls.

Game.

and that you're coming back.

Oh, he won't be there.

Since he got whooped by a couple of girls, he hides out in the boys'

Yeah, safer there.

No girls allowed.

Hey, thanks for telling me to stand up for myself, Ray.

You're a real inspiration.

Thanks,

Dad.

Oh.

I guess I owe you a thank you, too.

No, no.

You know, thanks to you, I can actually watch that... shopping channel now and

not feel urgent first?

Look.

And coming up next, an incredible collectible you can't possibly resist.

You just watch me.

Boy, how anybody can buy that junk is beyond me.

Oh, I bet you haven't seen me since you were a kid.

guy is no dummy look at this craftsmanship hello chat

nobody has the right to deny you anything based on some

stereotyping sexual thing huh i really

believe that i can i can go get it go see what's happening

Let's go kick some hockey butt.