Original subtitles

Yeah. How about this for a Saturday night date?

Dreamy. And what a body.

Hey, get your minds out of the gutter.

We're talking about a car.

Yeah, and we really want to get one. We've earned it, too. We got a part

job. We slaved. We dazed. We kept our grades up. She kept her grades up.

Now, don't you think we deserve one?

You're easy.

But now.

Can you help us convince our mom and dad?

Hey! Hey, where are you going? Hey!

Come back!

Help yourself.

They only cost me $125.

Ooh, you got taken. Ain't no jelly.

I'm sorry, but because your car is in the shop again, I went a tad over the

speed limit trying to return my car so that you could use it. And I got, well,

nailed by the highway patrol right out there in front of the Dairy Queen.

You went to the Dairy Queen? You didn't bring me back a jelly ball?

I hope that whatever it is you had to do this morning is a matter of life and

death. Well, thanks for the keys. Gotta go.

I knew it. You're going to the mall, aren't you?

Well, it is under Sunday at the panty, Shani.

Couldn't you wait till this afternoon?

Yes, I could have, but that's when the girls needed the car. They're getting a

toenail touch -up.

Come on, that was important to him. What am I supposed to say?

Read my lips. No!

It's a handy parenting tool. You ought to try it once in a while.

I would, but you worn it out.

Excuse me, but I happen to believe you can't raise a child properly without

setting limits.

Well, there is a limit to limits. I believe if you set a child on the right

path, eventually she'll be walking on her own.

Yeah, walking all over you.

That is not true. Do you see any Nike footprints on my back? I don't think so.

I'm hard as a rock. I'm tough as nails.

Mom, can we buy a car?

Sure, baby.

What?

Dad, before you say no... It's too late.

Now, I'm sorry. We've been down this road before.

I just don't think you girls are ready for the responsibilities.

Yes, we are.

Look, we even got the down payment.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Ooh, in all these years, I've been going through Ray's pockets.

I really am impressed, but... What have you been going through my pockets?

Oh, Ray let him have the car.

When I was T's age, oh, every day, I used to walk by Milk's Motor Mall on my

to work. Oh, and he had this little red car in his showroom window.

Zesty little thing. And I thought that car would change my whole life if I

just have that little red car.

Lisa. But I couldn't afford it. Not even a down payment. My daddy was a poor

man, but I'm sure he wouldn't want me to have that little red car.

Oh, God.

Slow down.

Slow down.

First, Lisa and I have to decide on what kind of car you're going to get.

But... You two never agree on anything.

Well, usually, but... Well, something that's important, I'm sure we can set

aside our petty little differences.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Lisa, aren't you the least bit interested in car safety?

I must be. I've been listening to a crash test dummy for the last three

I care about the girls just as much as you do.

Oh? Well, I see you talking to car companies all day. Look, I've prepared

simple little chart.

And... Wait, that's a cute little pointer. Let me see that. Sure.

As I was saying, according to the latest test conducted by the military, the

safest car on the road is... Hey, teenage girls do not want to cruise for

in a tank.

Unless you live in Pukoslavia.

No, a kid's first car should be, um, let me see, I don't know, um... Let me

guess.

Zesty. Mmm.

With a flat...

Sassy horns have better horns.

You know, in all of my research, I can't believe I overlooked horns.

Well, you got me.

Now, a sassy horn should sound something like a, ah, toot toot.

Where did this car come from? From me. I got the hookup. Roger's uncle owns the

youth car dealership. Yep.

Rasheed's Repose. He does bring this little baby over here on one condition.

I have to find him a date for Saturday night.

Miss Landry, that's where you come in.

All right, girls. Get out of the car.

Can't really.

We'll love car too much.

Well, it is a zippy little car, right?

Yeah, real zippy.

Even I might want to pop a wheelie in this bad boy.

I shudder to think what teenagers would do.

Dad, please, Ray. We really love it. We promise to be careful, and we'll always

keep one foot on the brake, just like Grandma.

Oh, as usual, you be the rain and we'll be the parade.

Never mind him, girls. You worked hard for this car, and you deserve it, so

help you buy it.

You will?

What? You can't even afford the air for the tires.

and there's no sacrifice too great for these wonderful children.

Oh, please.

Oh, thanks, Mom. I love you. Lisa, you're the best.

Room for one more, ladies?

Go away, Roger. I'm working it here.

I'm not willing to kick in the money. I'll find it.

Somehow, you know, I can always sell blood because I have to live off that

and those cookies that they serve. But, you know, I'll be fine.

Sounds like a plan to me.

You're really going to make me work for this, aren't you?

Okay, okay. I'll have the car checked out.

If it's safe, I'll split the cost with you.

Oh, Ray, you got this up a deal. I'll split it with you at $30 .70. What? $28.

That's my final order.

Don't worry, Mr. Campbell.

Uncle Rashid will give you a fair price.

Ever since that 60 -minute sex pose, he's been on his best behavior.

All right, Tim. We are mobile.

You know, girls, if you want to keep this car, you're going to have to be...

Responsible. We know, Dad.

Well, you're going to have to learn to have a little more faith like me. I

my baby. She's the most responsible child in the world.

I can't believe this. You're

totally out of control. Who are you?

A car owner.

Tamara, I never knew it could be like this.

My car!

My, my, my, my, my, my! I don't know if I can do this thing.

Can you get us a senor taco?

I'm hungry.

Andale, muchacha.

On my way. Meanwhile, everybody, macarena.

Watch and learn.

Man, were those bounties cool or what?

I can't believe we actually drove to Canada.

Why not?

Dad never said we couldn't leave the country.

I don't know, Tamara.

I think we bent too many rules.

And now we're going to miss curfew?

We made our parents.

I'm starting to feel really bad.

Well, I guess you're right.

Let's head for home.

Okay.

Uh, which way's home?

I can't see any road signs through this fog.

Wait! See those lights up ahead?

Oh, yeah, yeah. It looks like the mall.

Well, okay, then.

Well, as responsible car -owning adults, we should pull in.

Give Dad a call and tell him we're safe and we'll be home soon.

Then, shot for Gene.

Woo! Woo!

What's that?

Sounds like we're going over a bridge.

Since when is there a bridge to the mall?

Stop the car!

Is it me?

Or is the mall moving?

Take a look at this and tell me what you see.

What the heck's a Rolex?

Look, it's three minutes to nine and they're late. I told you this car thing

a bad idea.

Ray, at the sound of the tone, shut up.

Excuse me for being concerned, but whenever Tamara misses a curfew, it

means she's up to something.

Well, fear is with her, remember?

I trust my baby. You should have a little more faith in yours.

Okay, Natia.

She got it straight.

When they say, hi, girls, how was your evening?

We say, we thank her car.

When you know, we say, great, no problems with the car.

They won't suspect a thing.

Oh, they'll suspect me, especially when we drive away tomorrow and there's no

car around us.

Okay, okay, um, I have a plan. We're students, right?

Uh, we go to the bank, get a student loan.

We rent a tow truck and some scuba gear and a couple hundred hair dryers. Here I

am. Listen to yourself.

It's hopeless.

We're going down.

Girls, is that you?

No problems with the car.

We're going to bed.

No problems with the car.

Ah, girls, you're home.

Yeah, and one piece and on time, too.

Check your roll -up.

Roger's Garage.

Roger's Garage.

Well, why is it in there?

Because it might rain.

Nothing's worse than a wet car, right, Tia?

Well, good night.

Well, girls, girls, wait a minute, wait a minute now.

Did something happen tonight?

If so, now is the time to talk about it.

Dad, Lisa, everything's fine.

I can honestly say we did not break.

One rule.

Well, then. All right.

Good night.

Night, baby.

Night.

How could you say we didn't break one rule?

Just went out for a little jog.

In your suit?

When I run, I mean business.

Well, I may have been born that night, but not last night.

Where you been?

Well, I snuck over to Roger's garage to see if the girl's car was really there.

But the door was locked.

Well, why didn't you stand on top of that Mighty Max Tonka truck and look in

side window? You tall enough.

How'd you know there was a Tonka truck by the side window?

Because I got my big toe caught in the cement mixer.

So you didn't buy their little story either.

What happened to you? You've got to trust your child, Ray. You've got to

in your baby.

Oh, I believe.

I believe if that child is lying to me, her little teenage butt is mine.

There's just no excuse for lying. I don't care what they did to that car.

Even if they took that car and they just... And they drove into a lake.

Yeah, well, even if they...

Mazda Miata.

Sunflower on the antenna.

That's their car. No, no, no, no. It can't be. Now, they wouldn't hurt that

Nearby campers saw nothing.

Though one heard a girl shouting, oh, gosh, Tia, my dad's gonna kill us.

Oh.

Oh, that car. That little red car.

I'm really gonna miss those girls. Oh, no, no, no. No, Ray. No, no, Ray. Now,

let's give them one last chance to tell the truth, and then if they don't...

Dead girls walking.

Morning. Can one of you guys give us a ride to school?

Ride? You have a car.

Don't you?

Oh, yeah, that's right.

It's so new, she forgets. Yeah.

Come on, Tamir, let's go.

Roger! Oh, one and only.

I came by to see if I can get a ride to school, sweet things.

Well. That's interesting. I thought your car was in Roger's garage.

It is.

In my garage?

Yeah.

Maybe you should go wait by it.

In my garage?

Come on, Roger. We'll give you a lift.

To my garage?

Well, can we kill them now? Come on, come on, potty up. Relax.

Let him go.

Lisa, we'll teach these kids a lesson.

We'll teach them a lesson, all right. Just leave it to me.

You. Lisa, when it comes to those girls, you're just an old softy.

You cold, cold -hearted woman. Haven't those poor girls suffered enough?

You're about to lay stop lying and fess up to Mama.

Where are they?

It only takes 15 minutes to walk to the store.

You're right.

Perhaps it's that 10 -mile trip to the dry cleaner that slowed them down.

Oh, come on, Lisa.

Can't we show them a little mercy? Let them know we're on to them. You know,

maybe chain them in the basement, toss down some of your pot roasts.

Too easy.

We got to take this slow and rough.

Here they come.

We're back.

Here's your 27 cans of clean peaches and heavy syrup.

When I say heavy, they're not kidding.

Oh, girls, I'm so glad you got that little red card. You can run all kinds

errands for us.

Girls, you all right?

Yeah, because if there's any problem, any little problem at all, you can tell

me. Tell me, dear. Tell me.

There's nothing to tell, Ma.

Yeah, everything's fine.

No, it isn't.

I think we've made a mistake, Lisa.

No, Ray.

No, no, no.

This isn't peach cobbler weather.

What I've got a hankering for is pumpkin pie.

Oh, me too.

Welcome to the dark side, Ray.

Yes. Oh, and not canned pumpkins either. No, fresh ones from that patch out

there on Route 40.

Yeah, big, fat, roll them up to your car, pumpkin.

I need about 20 of them.

Huh? Yeah, and girls, I promised Mrs. Cooper that you'd stop by and pick up

three -legged Rottweiler and take him to the vet for a shot.

Oh, just remember, no matter how much psycho fights, don't loosen his mouth.

And by the way, I want you to stop by and pick up our new piano.

It's a Steinway.

Mr.

Steinway.

Well, you're going to need to hook it up to a U -Haul.

And on the way home, you really got to gun it to get up that hill, or else

you'll just roll back and fall into the lake.

Stop! Stop, no!

Not lake!

We'll talk, we'll talk. Okay, we confess.

Our car is dead.

We sank it in Lake Erie.

I think we have no choice.

Oh, my gosh.

A beautiful car.

back from its watery grave.

Uh, this is going to be one of those good news, bad news things, isn't it?

Nope, it's pretty much all bad news.

When I was your age, I would have moved heaven and earth to have me a car like

that. But you, you go and you dunk it like a tea bag.

I could usually just kiss your little dream car goodbye.

But even though you can't drive it, you can continue to pay for it.

including the repairs.

Welcome to the world of responsibility.

Ray, tell them what else they burned.

No CD, no TV, no stereo, no phone. In fact, we cut off all electricity to your

room.

That seems fair.

Yeah, after what we did to our car.

Yeah, that's not the only reason we're punishing you. It's what you did after

you sank the car.

Threw up?

No, Tamara, you didn't come to us and tell us you were in trouble.

And you lied.

Look, part of being a responsible grown -up is knowing when to ask for help.

Help? Too late.

Sorry, Dad.

I guess we weren't as grown -up as we thought we were.

Yeah, you were right.

I'm sorry, Mom.

I'm sorry, Dad.

We blown it for good, huh?

Are we never going to get a car?

Sure.

Sure, someday.

But sometimes you got to wait a little longer to get your dream car.

Lord knows I waited long enough for mine.