Original subtitles

Sorry. Roger, why do you have those sunglasses on indoors?

Ernie, when you're cool, the sun never sets.

Besides, the guy I bought them from assured me that they were perfect lady

magnets. Hey, Roger.

Nice glasses. Come here.

See what I mean?

Yes, sweet thing.

Come closer.

How close?

That's good enough.

Now everybody knows I ain't ever gonna live.

that we're getting a new auditorium? Well, it's the same old auditorium.

just hooking it up with a whole new slave.

So basically, you're just repainting the old one?

Exactly, Tia, but it's no longer going to be known as the auditorium. It's

renamed in honor of one of our school's greatest alumni.

Who? Mr. Casey Kasem.

Who?

Casey Kasem, world -famous disc jockey.

You know, Casey's countdown.

Who?

He's also the voice of Shaggy on Scooby -Doo.

Oh, yeah.

He went here?

Yes. He walked these very halls.

Hey, maybe I have his own locker.

Now, that would be the ball.

My words exactly. And get this, Casey himself and his posse will be on hand

the rededication on Friday. Now, that's...

a dedication ceremony, and Casey's gonna pick the winner.

Why bother? We know who's gonna win.

Yeah, Marva Blackwell.

Guys, I'm sick of that Marva Blackwell. There's got to be one of us with enough

talent who can beat her out.

All right, you guys, I've been working on a little something.

us are stars and some of us are, well, you.

Marva, you're not the only talented person in this school.

So what are you going to do on stage?

Your homework?

Okay, maybe I don't have talent, but I know someone who can mop the floor with

you. See, I don't think I have to go with you. No, no, no, not you.

Tamira. You guys, she can sing better than anybody.

She's got energy, enthusiasm, and a personality that can really light up the

stage.

I wish I were dead.

You know, you're right. I can sort of see it.

Please, don't worry. I mean, she'll be dazzling once she gets past that I

-want -to -live thing.

So, Eric broke up with you again, right?

But, Tia, why do you assume that that's the problem?

Tia, I'm a complicated person. I have to think about a lot of things besides

Eric.

Tia, I think I have a way for you to get Eric back.

Forget it.

that creep back.

What's the plan? It better not be a stupid idea.

Okay, what you should do is sing in a talent show audition, win, and then Eric

will fall in love with you.

I thought you were going to have a stupid idea.

She broke up with Eric again, huh?

Yes, so please try to be sensitive.

Well, I'm sorry, Tamara, but honey, you were too good for him anyway.

Besides, there's plenty of other guys at that school.

Not really, Mom. She's kind of gone through them.

Let's see.

There was L .J. Lamar, Boney Frazier, Kevin Toussaint, Sean Fordham. All

all right. Will you stop being so darn sensitive?

Hello,

Lisa. Oh, well, you seem pretty happy, Ray.

You want to know why?

Yeah.

You finally heard from that woman you like?

Uh, no.

You got rid of those... you been trying to get rid of?

Well, actually, I'm up an LB or two.

You got the dent out of your Mercedes?

What dent? Ooh, nothing.

Maybe you should stop while I'm still relatively happy.

I heard from my accountant today, and my retirement account is up 18%. Oh,

that's great, Ray!

Here you are, a man with no girlfriend, a banged -up car blowing up like a

balloon, and you still find joy in the little things.

Would lending me $10 be one of the little things you might find joy in?

Lisa, why are you always trying to borrow money? You've got to learn to

a budget.

Well, I can live on a budget. I just do a lot better living over a budget.

Lisa, listen.

Anyone should be able to get by on $20 a week personal spending money.

You can't do that.

I most certainly can.

I'll prove it. You want me to prove it?

Yeah. Okay, I'll prove it. Look.

Here. You take my credit card, my ATM card.

And all my extra cash.

Ooh, thanks.

No, no, no, no. I am finished.

Give me back $20.

I'm going to make this last for an entire week.

Oh, you just stand back. No problem. I'm resourceful. You just watch and learn.

I'm here to collect the money for the Discovery Girl cookies you ordered, Mr.

Campbell. That will be $12.

Um, I moved.

Matushka, why are all these regular people here?

School policy.

We have to have someone for you to compete against. Besides, there's a lot

very talented kids in this school.

Okay, next up, Kevin and Nothead. Here we are, Mr. Matushka. Go, baby.

What about me, dorko?

You too, Nothead.

Hey, Rodman, check out the killer ending to my camp song.

Do you have another guitar, Steve?

No.

Oh, man.

That's okay, Kevin. It happens to the best of us. More than me. He's the one

wouldn't talk out there.

Kevin, maybe you want to go see the school nurse?

Find time to get tongue -tied. Ow!

Okay.

Tamara Campbell, you're next.

Steve, I don't want to do this. My heart's not in it.

Get down with your bad self, girlfriend.

What key?

The key of down.

Now, of course, you are all funky and fresh.

But the students who will perform for Casey Kasem at the rededication ceremony

are Marva Blackwell and Tamara Campbell.

You're toast.

You wish, twin girl.

Tamara. Yes, Eric?

It was so stupid of me to kick you to the curb. Will you forgive me?

I don't know. I was pretty hurt.

I'll call you.

Hey, did you hear that? Eric and I are back together.

Now we don't have to sing in that stupid competition.

Wait, Tamir, you've got to sing. You've got to beat Marva. I don't care about

beating Marva.

Tamir, you don't care about anything.

What's your problem?

Tamir, you've got a lot of potential, but nobody ever gets to see it.

Don't you want to get out there and show everybody what you can do for once in

your life?

No, not really.

If Barbara wins, I'm going to have to do her homework.

What's so bad about that? I'm going to have to do it until she graduates.

Nothing to cushion.

At least the spot is getting a little low.

And I have better luck with your easy chair. Oh, don't bother. I check hourly.

Oh, man.

Son, I thought you were supposed to make $20 last for a week.

Well, not all of my expenses were fair.

For example, those Discovery Girl cookies are for everyone.

Yeah, you want a Fodiodo, Dad?

No Diodo.

Um, by the way, Tamara, I think it's great that you... into that contest, and

know you're going to win.

Oh, thanks, Dad.

Uh, is there any prize money?

Well, I only have 50 cents left, and it's got to last me six days.

Dad, why don't you just go up to Lisa and tell her you've run out of money?

What, are you nuts?

Can you lend me some of your allowance?

What, are you nuts?

Never mind.

I've got to get out of this house before I put my last 50 cents in the swear

jar.

putting a quarter in the square jar.

I had loose lips earlier today.

Uh -huh. Well, I'm glad you're here. I'm helping the school make arrangements

for Casey Kasem, and I'll need to reserve your Regency stretch limo to

up Friday.

Well, in that case, I'll extend the school my friendly 5 % discount.

You think they could pay in advance?

Yeah, well, yeah, but we're going to need a little bit more than the 5 %

discount. How much more?

95 % more.

In other words, it's a freebie.

No, those words will do.

What a magical evening. The house is packed.

And call me crazy, but I think Mary Hart of TV's Entertainment Tonight is in the

house.

Oh, no, it's just Mr. Chadway, the art teacher.

Well, I've got to go look for Casey Kasem.

By the way, Tia, I brought my geometry book in case you want to get a head

on my homework.

Look, the fat lady hasn't sung yet.

Not... that my sister put on some weight, it's just a figure of speech.

Ah, never mind. You're gonna lose.

Uh,

good luck, Tamera.

I'll be, uh, front row.

I'll be looking for you.

Tamera, where have you been? Tia, Eric's so great. I've never been happier. Oh,

well, that's nice, but you were supposed to go on in five minutes. You're gonna

rehearse your song?

Have pain and heartache.

Well, if you don't find some in five minutes, I'm going to give you pain and

heartache because I'm going to be doing Marvis Homer for the rest of my life.

Gosh, Tia, I feel terrible about this, but in a happy kind of way.

Okay, Tamir, I'm going to have to do something I didn't want to do, but it's

only way I know to make you miserable.

One word.

Lulu.

I know. Maybe this will do the trick. Look who's getting hugged up.

This is terrible.

Tamir will be devastated.

And that young man who passed through that arch grew up to be Casey Kasem.

Thank you. Thank you very much, fellow Rough Riders.

And so now it's with a great sense of pride and honor that I hereby dedicate

brand new Casey Kasem series.

for the Performing Arts, formerly known as the Auditorium. So now, Casey, if

you'll please cut the ribbon.

All right.

Um, where are the giant scissors?

Mrs. Finkel, where are the giant scissors?

Doggone it, don't shake your head, you had them. Yes, you did.

We don't really need giant scissors.

But it's fresher when you cut them.

But hey, it's your auditorium, so go, baby.

Mrs. Finkel.

Thank you very much, Mr. Matuska. I have the honor and pleasure to introduce the

finalists for the first annual Golden Casey Award.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Marva Blackwell.

So,

when are you going to tell Samara about Marva and Eric?

I'm going to do it right now.

Tia, will you give up?

I've never been happier.

I'm sorry. I hate to see you lose your bet to Marva, but now that Eric and I

back together, nothing you can say will bring me down.

So, what did you want to tell me?

Uh, do your best, and whatever happens, happens.

And remember, Tamira, you're a terrific person, and you don't need a guy to make

you happy.

Oh, thanks, Tia. That makes me feel great.

And now it's time for our other finalist, a gifted young lady who can

sing the blues, Tamara Campbell.

Well, was she devastated?

No, I just couldn't do it.

Are you crazy? You're going to lose the bet.

Yeah, but I'd rather do marvelous homework forever than hurt my sister's

feelings.

This is more touching than the Lulu story.

Thank you.

are wonderful talents, but I've made my decision. The winner of the first annual

Golden Casey Award is Tamera Campbell.

Oh, Tamera, you were incredible.

Oh, honey, I almost believed that you were washed out.

I told you they were here, Mrs. Finkel.

Oh, DeMara, honey, you were fabulous.

You should be so proud of yourself.

I would take you out to celebrate, but I don't have any more money left.

Ray, don't worry about that. I got your wallet right here. It's going to take us

to a really nice, expensive restaurant.

Oh, great.

Hey.

Ray, there you are.

I didn't finish telling you the story about Funkadelic. Run like the

There'll be five guys from Philadelphia.

Yeah,

you're right.

I got my sister, my family, and my friends.

Yeah, and things could be worse. Remember when you lost Lulu?

didn't want to do marva's homework yeah that would have been horrible you done

with mine yet a minute oh dear by the way you never told me what the other

of the bet was what does marva have to do since you lost i thought i mentioned

it to you

I have a way for you to get Eric back. Oh, forget it. I don't want that creep

back.

What?

Tamir, I think I have a way for you to get Eric back.

Where did she go from?

Where did she go? What's the plan? It better not be a stupid idea.

Okay, what you should do is sing in a talent show audition, win, and then Eric

will fall in love with you.

I thought you said that was...