Original subtitles

Two beautiful twins covered in pumpkin slime.

One of my favorite fantasies.

Why are you carving two pumpkins?

We always have a contest to see who can carve the scariest jack -o' -lantern.

Well, I'll be the judge this year. Let's see yours, Tamara.

Hmm?

Ooh.

Ugly mouth, bad teeth, something orange hanging out of the nose.

Very nice, Tamera.

Why, thank you.

Let's see yours, Tia.

Yuck! What kind of sick mind would do something like that?

I don't know. I kind of like it.

now everybody knows

you to dress like your sister.

So this Halloween, I went out and bought the most outrageous, unique, one -of -a

-kind costume I could find.

Hey, Tamira, check out my... Hey!

Why did you go and copy me?

I'm not copying you. I was just trying to be unique.

You see, when you're a twin, everyone expects you to dress like your sister.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I did that.

Oh, we both can't go to the rave dressed the same. You're going to the rave?

trick -or -treating, were you?

Yeah, right.

At my age?

Come on in.

Oh, hi, Tia. Have fun tonight.

Oh, don't worry, Dad. We will. Not you, Tamara.

You're grounded.

What? Why, Dad?

After what happened last year down there on Woodward, all those kids blocking

traffic, throwing eggs, I can't let you go out there again.

But, Dad, I didn't even get hit by a single egg.

Of course not. You were the one throwing them.

What is this, Tamara?

Well, you know, a rave.

A rave?

Well, Tia never mentioned a rave to me.

Well, it's perfectly safe. The police will be there.

Well, at the end.

So who's throwing this rave?

A kid from school.

Billy something.

Well, who are his parents?

Mr. and Mrs.

Something. So, what do you say?

Well, honey, you know, actually, talk me into it. I think that you and Tia

should be treated exactly the same.

She's not going either.

Well, I'm off to my party.

Mind if I take your car?

Now, Ray, wait a minute. Why do you assume that I'm not going to a party?

Oh, yeah, right. I'm sorry.

Have fun.

I'm not going anywhere.

Well, can I take your car?

What's wrong with your car?

My brand -new Mercedes convertible. Ha!

I tried it on Halloween night. Some kid might vandalize it or something.

But your car, on the other hand, I mean, what are you going to do, fix it?

Fine, fine, fine. Just take it. But if you so much as put one bump in that

fender, you take it and you pick it up and you throw it in the back seat, okay?

Got it.

So, how do I look?

I don't know. That depends.

Who you going as, Brian Gumbel?

I'm not going as anyone.

Oh? Mr.

and Mrs. Charles Thornton cordially invite you and a guest aboard their

La Princess de Meux, for a Halloween party.

Halloween party.

Of course you're supposed to come in a costume, Ray.

Well, it doesn't say you have to.

Trust me.

Tonight, anybody that shows up at a party in street clothes is nothing but a

stiff, pompous, uptight, thick -in -the -mud party pooping wet blanket.

Well, I was... You want Mr. Thornton to think that were I.

Exactly.

But look, I only have an hour before the party. Where am I going to find a

costume this late? Oh, relax now. I got a costume left over. One of my customers

got in that candy cone a little early. He's too fat to fit in it.

Oh, Lisa, I don't know how to thank you.

You and the guests are invited aboard the yacht La Princess de

Meuse.

I never been on a meuse.

Okay, Lisa, you want to go?

Oh, I don't know. This is all for short notice. Let me think about it.

Come on, Lisa.

Okay, okay, okay, I'll go. Don't beg.

Maybe that's Roger. I told him he can come over and watch some videos with us.

Oh, no, it's just some trick -or -treaters.

Great.

Let's squirt them with some silly string.

No, Tamira, they're just children.

Oh, I guess you're right.

Boy, no party, no scaring little kids.

Why don't we just skip right to Thanksgiving?

ride to the rave with you two?

Oh, go ahead, Tamara. Tell them the bad news.

Let's go.

What? You know what our parents said. We're specifically told not to go to

rave. Tia, we're not going to the rave.

We're driving Steve and Denise to the rave.

Now, of course, when we get there, we have to go inside just to make sure it's

the appropriate environment for these two young teens.

What kind of idiot is going to fall for that?

Sounds like a plan to me.

Your dad's car?

You're going to drive the Mercedes?

Don't be ridiculous, Tia.

I'm not responsible enough to drive an expensive car like that. You're driving

it. Oh, no, I'm not. Come on, Tia. You're the one that got 100 on the

test. Besides, we're just going to Bloomfield Hills.

It's not like we're going to downtown Detroit.

Look, Dad left us the keys in case of emergency.

If this is not an emergency,

I don't know what an emergency is.

I think that's obvious.

Look, we'll just leave a note on the door for Roger saying to come on in back

soon, okay?

Cool. We're outie, we're outie. Well, I'm not outie. You guys are outie. I'm

innie. Well, fine, Tia. You can stay here, and when Roger comes over, you can

sit in the dark and watch scary movies with him.

I want to make a good impression. This evening is really important to me. Oh,

yeah, you look great, Ray. Thank you.

But how do I look?

Is that the best you could do?

I told you, it's a princess costume.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Look, well, there are probably a lot of people in

I'm sure you won't look too silly.

you talking about? I look fine.

Thank goodness I talked to Mr. Thornton over the phone. He doesn't know what I

look like. I'll just try and disappear.

Yeah, just try and blend in with all the other giant rabbits.

May I get you a drink? I'll take a white wine.

I never met this man, so I don't know what he's drinking.

Lisa! Lisa!

Wine, club soda, carrot juice?

Nothing, thank you.

I gotta get off this boat.

Is that a costume?

No, I work here. First mate.

We haven't left the dock yet, have we? We just did, sir.

Sorry, we're a little late getting underway, but don't worry.

We'll be out on the lake for the full four -hour cruise.

Four hours?

Okay, we're almost there. Billy's house is just half a block up.

Well, then we should be there in a couple of hours.

Okay, so I'm driving a little...

house on the right you mean the dark house with absolutely no lights on or no

decorations or people or music all right let's kick in there's no party here

i don't get it i wonder what could have caused everyone to leave hi guys

still wondering hey i thought you were coming over our house to watch scary

movies roger that's before i found out they let anybody into the raid so what

happened to it

Well, Billy's parents got mad and canceled, so they moved some kids out to

Farmington. Okay, near Prob.

Yeah, Prob!

Where's Farmington? It's not near downtown, is it?

It's here in the suburbs.

Just follow that blue car. They're going to the party.

No, I am not following a blue car.

Blue, blue, blue, blue, blue.

Come on, Tia, we promised we would take them to the party. I mean, what are we

supposed to do, just leave them here?

I feel a little guilty about stealing your towel.

Oh, that's quite all right, Lisa.

And those hangers were useless.

You know, you seem like you like to travel in style.

I bet you use a lot of limousines, huh?

Yes, I suppose I do.

Well, you really ought to meet a friend of mine. He owns a limo service, and he

would give you a great deal.

I would love to meet any friend of yours, Lisa. Have him see me sometime.

The rabbit guy.

Hi, Mr. Thornton. Look, I'm sorry, but an ex -friend of mine told me this was a

costume party.

I figured that was it. Otherwise, my bodyguards would have made keychains out

your feet.

Mr. Thornton, I'd like you to meet... Fred.

Fred Hopper.

Good night.

Ray, why did you make up a name and a bad name at that?

I almost sold them on your limo service.

You've done enough for me already, all right? I just want to get through this

evening without anybody knowing who I am.

Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I was wrong about the costume, but, well, you know, maybe

you wouldn't feel so silly if you just learned to laugh at yourself.

I wouldn't feel so silly if I didn't have a big fluffy white ball on my butt.

You know, you really are a wet blanket.

I'm not a wet blanket. I just happen to smell like one.

Hi.

I couldn't help noticing you.

I bet.

Guess you shouldn't wear white after Labor Day.

You're very funny.

I wish I'd had the nerve to wear a costume.

You do?

Certainly.

Somebody's got to try to liven up this party, don't they? Yeah, they're just a

bunch of wet blankets.

That's for sure.

I'll introduce them. Oh, okay.

Everyone, have you met Fred, isn't it? Right, Fred Hopper. Friends call me

Hoppy.

I love your costume.

I guess I'm just a chicken.

Well, if you're a chicken, I should have come dressed as a rooster.

This guy's a nut!

Hey, I better have one of those carrot juices.

Oh, never mind. I'll just hop over and get one.

Guys, this can't be right. We just went over a bridge.

We're not heading for downtown, are we?

Relax. Just follow the blue car.

Blue, blue, blue, blue, blue.

Oh, my God.

They can't all be going to the rave.

Can they?

Uh, what's that sign say?

How's it going, eh?

Welcome to Canada.

Canada?

Outstanding costume, dude.

Oh, just follow the blue car. The blue car's going to the party.

I hate the blue car. It's a stupid car.

Do you folks have anything to declare, eh?

Yes.

to talk me into it. Oh, just get over it, Cleo.

Listen, do you know where Farmington is?

Isn't that a suburb of Moose Jaw?

Hey, you hosers, where's Farmington? I couldn't help overhearing. You kids

to Farmington, Michigan?

That's right. Um, do you know how to get there?

Well, I usually don't get in a car with a bunch of strangers, but you kids look

okay.

Hang a Yui and head back over the bridge.

Uh, we won't get in trouble, will we?

I sure hope not. I got 300 Cuban cigars stuffed down my pants.

Oh, faster, honey. Come on, try and make that light before it turns red.

Again.

You're embarrassing us in front of the smuggler.

Oh, I'm sorry. I've never driven a getaway car before.

Ah, you're doing fine, sweetheart.

Hang it right over here and pull over the first guy who looks like he might be

named Vladimir.

That's a guy that looks really nervous.

That's my man.

Oh, here's a little something for you, fellas.

Thanks, smuggler dude.

Hey, these have gone bad.

Steve, they're not chocolate.

Tell me about it.

Oh, it's, uh, that way.

But where are we now?

Downtown.

Downtown?

Let's roll.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

I can hardly keep up with you.

Boy, you should have seen me during hunting season.

Hey, I like the cut of your jib, mister.

Didn't Lisa tell me you owned a limousine service?

That's right, sir.

How would you like the contract to provide limo service to all my hotels in

area? Oh, that would be great, sir. Yeah.

I was going to go with this drip, Ray Campbell, but you're more my kind of

Well, actually, sir.

Call me tomorrow, Fred. Uh, Mr. Thornton, I am Ray Campbell.

You're the stiff I talk to on the phone?

Pull the other one, Fred. It's got bells on it.

Actually, look, let me show you some ID.

Oh, sorry, bunny suit doesn't have pockets.

Next year I'll wear a kangaroo outfit.

He never stops.

Lisa, please, tell him who I am.

Fred Hopper.

Hey, thanks for coming, Fred.

Well, goodbye.

It was really great to meet you.

Now, most of the men I know are such phonies, but you're so real and honest

comfortable with yourself.

I'd, um, really like to see you again, Fred.

Oh, too bad.

She could have been the next Mrs. Fred High.

I'm not inhaling.

Besides, there's nothing like a fine cigar after a couple hundred fun -sized

Snickers.

Just be careful of the leather, okay?

Is this the way to the rave? Forget the rave!

think I'm gonna be sick.

Are you guys sure you

got all the egg yolk off the windshield?

Yes, your dad's car looks perfect, Tamara.

I gotta get home. My mom is gonna kill me.

Mine too.

She doesn't like for me to associate with wild kids.

So you ready to go watch some scary movies now?

Gee, thanks for inviting me over. I really had a great time.

Ernie!

What are you doing here?

What happened?

Oh, I see you.

Tamara?

Oh, I guess I must be full.

gonna explode my father yeah that's what happened to billy smith laughs father

so we moved it right here smith lap that's his name

if you ever want to see the outside of this house again clean clean as if your

life depended on it this was the worst night of my life

You found out you were funny, interesting, exciting, sexy, and

Well, that's true.

And you learned a valuable lesson, Ray. A valuable lesson. That lesson is from

now on, whatever you do, just don't be yourself.

Hey.

Oh, hi, girls. How was your Halloween?

No big deal.

Well, I'm sure your evening was better than mine.

Yeah, put your paws up. Watch the news.

And Woodward Avenue, in spite of the usual Halloween hijinks tonight, has

thousands of teenage ghouls and goblins roaming the streets looking for

mischief.

Red? What is your license plate, Reed?

Girls, you know that taking my car was a very serious matter.

That's why Lisa and I grounded you for the month.

Now, you were invited to a party tonight.

Oh, Daddy, can we please go?

Yeah, we learned a lesson and we'll never do it again.

Who's throwing the party?

Hi, girls. Let's party.

Any nines? I go first.

Told you.