Original subtitles

Thank you for choosing Rocky Burger for your junk food needs.

It was a pleasure serving you.

A real pleasure.

Oh, for me? Thank you.

And be sure to come again and ask for... Tom, Mara.

Oh, hi, Steve.

Let me give you a tip, you little mooch.

At Rocky Burger, your only reward is a job well done.

But Steve, who can live on this salary?

Your replacement.

Gotcha.

This goes to Charity.

Hey, Charity, want to go out tonight?

It's weird.

Did you know that tip spells backwards to spit?

That's about all I've got.

Sorry to wait. I could not get out of bed.

Hey, was Jackie's party great or what?

What? The party was bumpin'. Yeah, where were you guys?

Yeah, where were we? Well, uh, we were bumpin', but, uh, we were bumpin' here

because we decided to help... I think Steve closed up. Yeah. Poor guy wasn't

invited. Oh, that was some party last night.

Women were clinging to me like a cheap suit.

Those were flies, Steve.

Female flies.

Girls, thanks for closing up. I'm so glad you never go out.

Even he was invited?

Why didn't Jackie invite us? I even let her cheat off me in math class.

Oh, I think we found the answer. Huh?

We should throw our own party.

Yeah, and we'll invite everybody. Yeah, because we care about people's feelings.

And at our party, we won't leave anyone out.

Party over here.

Party over there. The party's on.

Our first official party next Friday, 7 .30. This house is going to rock into

another block. And the best part is, we're finally going to be in the party

Yeah, just think, if we invite 50 people and all those... 50 people have a party

and invite 50 people, we will be invited to, uh, see ya?

A lot of parties. Of course, first we had to get our parents' permission, and

mom wasn't all that excited.

Woo!

Party!

Actually, for my mom, that's not that excited.

Party! Woo!

Dad,

on the other hand, had a few reservations.

20 people only has to be over by 1130.

No loud music. We'll put on slipcovers and clear liquids only.

But we finally got everything worked out.

And everyone has to use coasters.

The key to a good party is to get the perfect blend of people. Just the right

chemistry and just the right personality.

Basically, we wanted a lot of cute guys.

Party Friday night and leave your girlfriends home.

We're having our first party at Michael's in Iowa. I think it's great

grandma's getting married. She had to. She was starting a show.

Hey, guys, I can't wait till Friday.

Is it gonna be dressy cash or cash cash? I'm thinking semi -cash. No, no, less

than semi -cash, but more than cash cash. So it's gonna be semi -dressy

frou -frou cash, or grunge cash?

More like semi -funky hip -hop cash.

Got it.

See you later. Bye.

Gee, there he is.

Martin Mara. Isn't he gorgeous?

you got married, you'd be... Tamir Mira.

So, so... Whoa.

Hi, Martin. How you doing? We're having a party, and I'd love for you to come,

but if you don't want to go, it's no biggie. But if you do, I would... Hey,

be there.

I'd be there, too.

I think he really likes me. Why? What did he say?

He said, I'll be there. What? The way he said it.

It was like he was saying, be my wife.

You know,

maybe we should invite Roger.

Yeah.

A little help here, people.

All right, let's see. We got your barbecue potato chips, your onion dip,

garlic dip. Dad, no boy would want to come near it.

Nothing to my madness.

Oh, my pookie -poo, baby misses you.

Lisa, it's only a picture.

I know, but when my man's out of town, I got to get anywhere I can.

I know how you feel, Mom.

You better not.

Have you girls thought of a party theme?

No, not really.

Well, every good party had a theme.

I remember I had a Mutiny Bounty Party theme. Oh, it was great. We had a wicker

and a tiki motif.

It was a talk of the eighth grade.

Look, Captain Bly, they haven't even had the party yet, and you're already

thinking it.

I suppose you have a better idea.

Mm -hmm. All you need is some pine -looking men, some greasy peanuts, a red

light bulb, some jamming music, and me. Now, that was the talk of the eighth

grade.

Thank you.

It's the music that I love to hear.

A day of smiles and shaking hands. I love the work, I love the work, I love

work.

Key door, put up the shade.

Yo,

yo, yo, it's gotta go.

Hey cuz, if you ain't down with that and you can't get with the rap community.

Let me tell you a little something right now.

I could always play a little Lionel Richie.

So the big night was finally here. Music was jamming. Food was slamming. And we

looked pretty darn good.

Tia, don't say darn tonight, okay?

Anyway, parents have been lectured.

Please don't embarrass us.

It was time for the party and everything was perfect.

Except for one little thing.

Where is everybody?

Somebody should be here by now.

Old Ray Campbell has a house. Here,

coaster there, coaster everywhere, coaster, coaster.

Coaster, coaster?

That was the only part that was bizarre to you?

I don't understand it. Martin should be here by now.

Well, girls, it's only 7 .30. You know nobody comes to a party till 8 .30.

You know nobody come to a party till 9 .30.

Nobody's coming.

Oh, sweetheart, there are a million reasons people could be late.

Rush hour traffic, they got lost.

Urkel's on.

Dad, come on.

Hey, Urkel's 32 years old and he's still funny.

I can't believe not even one person has shown up. Well, you can be sure that

Roger will be here any minute.

Oh, Roger?

Mm -hmm. Well, you see, uh, we didn't invite him.

Oh, like that's ever stopped in before.

Why didn't you invite him?

Well, uh, we didn't want too many people. Yeah, it's so crowded in here.

Where is everybody?

Hello? I can't come because I'm grounded.

It's so unfair.

My mom thinks I mouthed off to her.

We were kind of popular. But now we know for a fact that we're dead. Nothing.

Nobody likes us.

Oh. I like you.

Please go.

Want to dance?

Dance?

You're just making it worse.

Oh, now, let's stay calm. There's no reason to get upset. Right, Lisa?

I'm going to hunt those party records down like dogs and squeeze their heads

like this until their little brains ooze out their heads.

Oh, how do you get the head?

I knew they'd come.

Do we look okay? Oh, you look beautiful. Now, come on. Put on some big party

smiles. Come on.

All right. Time to party.

But it's our pizza.

Ray,

I think this is the first time I've ever been sad to see a pizza.

That doesn't run.

Ray, this is bad.

This is bad.

This is good.

This is bad.

I can't believe nobody's here.

Poor little babies.

Oh, but I know what they're going through, you know.

Brings back all the memories for me.

Rejection, pain.

You, Miss Greasy Peanuts?

Ray, I'm having a vulnerable moment here.

All right, all right, I'll listen.

I remember one day, This guy was supposed to take me to a church picnic.

I sat around. I waited and waited and waited.

Never showed up.

But I decided I was not going to let that guy ruin my day. So after I ate the

pie and the cake and the pork chops, I decided I was going to get up, you know,

if I could, and call my friend Herman.

And Herman, he took me, and we had a good whole time.

You know what I'm saying, Ray?

I don't have a clue.

Wait, let's go Herman hunting?

I still don't have a clue.

Wait, let's go round up some kids.

Oh, you're right.

Yeah, you take the west side, I'll take the east side. Yeah.

Hey, wait, what about me?

Oh, yeah.

I better lock up the liquor cabinet.

So, the twins need me, huh?

They really do, Roger.

I had a dream about this once.

Just once?

Yeah. It just lasted 12 years.

You know, Roger, I'm pretty sure they sent you an invitation. There must have

been some kind of mix -up.

Yeah. I can understand how an invitation can get lost in the mail, especially

when you live right next door.

I mean, it could take years.

All right, so they didn't invite you.

But we're all glad you're here now.

I gotta tell you, I really hate it when anybody treats my twins badly. They're

sweet, sweet, wonderful girls.

You're a real gentleman.

I mean, they're a lot.

I crossed that line again, didn't I?

You want to become a hood ornament?

I'll be good.

Let's find those friends of yours.

Yeah, they're real excited about coming to the party.

Except I told them not to twist with my own private love buddies.

Dang, there's that line again.

Shut up or get on the hood.

I'm going to round up all my buddies in the fast food trade. We're going to turn

this party around.

Because I was born to be wise.

You sure you weren't born in the wild?

before a woman has suffered quite enough.

What kind of party is this? Are we almost there? What does he have on? Are

going to be a lot of women in there? What does the mayor have on?

How much did he pay for this car? What does Lisa have on?

Why did you get the top -of -the -line model?

How long did it take you to grow them a sash?

Hey,

hey, hey! I think that's enough with the questions for now, all right?

So I guess what you're trying to say is thank you?

How could you do this? It's so embarrassing.

Well, none of those creeps came to your party and you were miserable.

Now, you can't sit around here waiting. You gotta get out there and you gotta

make things happen.

But you made this happen.

Oh, we're an extension of you.

What does that mean?

We're vamping.

Look, we just wanted you to have a great party.

And we still do.

It's not a toy.

Relax, we just logged into your email.

I hope you're into the big women. We just hooked you up on the Big Bay

Board.

Hey, would you like me to pierce your nipple?

Dang, woman, you bent.

The girls, come on, let's go mingle.

Yeah, let's go mingle with the dingles.

So, uh, you work at Hot Dog Hutch.

How'd you know that?

You got that giant weenie on your head.

Wow, you're good.

Well, it's nice. talking to you.

This is the worst party we've ever been to, including Aunt Clara's wake.

Ray, we have got to do something about this. This is a disaster.

Steve, could you liven up this party?

Let that go.

Something else.

Okay. Plan B.

Here. Hold my medallion.

Safety first.

People, people!

It's time to get funky.

Hey, that's my album. Oh, no, no, no, Ray. That boy's a little mad, but this

party needs a little madness.

Hit it!

It don't mean a thing if it ain't good. Oh, look at that boy move.

He's okay, isn't he?

Oh, my gosh. What is he doing?

So weird.

It's weirdo.

Let's not tell him. We don't want him to get a big hit.

Did someone mention my name?

Yeah, we were just saying... I know, you were making fun of me. And you were

going to say, go home, Roger.

No, we were saying... We're glad that you came to our party.

Yeah, and we're really sorry we didn't invite you in the first place.

Really?

I'm touched.

Now can I touch you?

Roger.

Well, back to square one.

stuck in the ice machine.

All right, party in the kitchen.

Did we order more pizza?

Hi. Hi. Oh, they're people, real people.

Martin, you're here.

Sorry we're late. The girl from South Fair High had a party tonight, too.

Hey, this is the Mardi Gras for losers.

What are they going to do?

Hey, if these rejects are here, then we're leaving.

To a short.

It was like a bug zapper attracting every outcast, misfit, and loner. Except

didn't kill them.

It was for everybody who thought they were a little bit different.

Imagination got the better of us. But we did make it down the street and crash

into our neighbor's trash cans. It was fun. It was wild. It was crazy. It was

conga!

Oh, man,

what a party.

This place is a mess.

Let's take pictures.

I feel like I got a conga hangover.

We're going for peace and quiet.

Morning!

a shot there?

Oh, not that short.