Original subtitles

Good God almighty!

Nice shot, Dad!

Yeah, I'm just warming up.

My beeper. I think it's my beeper.

Well, I guess it's our beepers.

Maybe it's my beeper beeping your beeper.

I'm working on it.

It's just stuck.

Let me give it a try.

Um, what's your score?

Seven.

There. You gave me a strike.

This could be the night you bowl 300.

What's my dad doing?

I think he's flirting.

Oh, that's so embarrassing.

Not to mention gross.

It's hard to do, isn't it?

Ramaki, I've never had this at a bowling alley.

Well, I planned this fundraiser, so I got to pick the food.

You're a good picker.

Come on, Rams, your turn.

Oh, is that your wife? Oh, no, no, no way. Definitely not. She's not my wife.

I'm not married.

Oh, what a coincidence.

Neither am I.

Ray. Let her know you got a job.

Oh, you own a limo business.

By far my favorite mode of transportation.

And you're in public relations.

That's quite a job, getting the public to relate.

Work it, Ray. Work it.

Well, I'm up next, I. Better get back over there.

Nice meeting you.

It's nice to meet you, Ray Campbell.

lunch and he called her for business dinner. We kind of figured the business

part was over when one of their meetings was on a sailboat at sunset.

Anyway, she finally came over and we met her for the first time.

Oh, Ray, you look awfully dapper.

Where you going?

Well, Beverly's picking me up. We're going to the theater.

Ah, the theater.

I haven't been there since I saw Naked Gun 2.

you think of this tie?

I love it.

I'm changing it.

I knew that would get him to change that butt -ugly tie.

Hi, I'm Beverly Sims.

Ooh, that's quite a grip you got on that handshake.

I'm sorry, I spent the whole day in the boardroom and forgot to leave the power

handshake behind.

Oh, I hate when that happens.

Must be Lisa.

Ray's told me so much about you. Oh, yeah?

What'd he tell you?

He said that you were a lovely person.

Oh, and that you live over the garage, kind of like Fonzie.

Ray is so funny.

Yeah, everybody laughs at Ray.

So, he tells me you knit?

I thought.

That's wonderful.

You know, I'm not domestic in the least. I just don't have the time with my

career and all.

Well, it is my career and all.

I'm a fashion designer.

Good for you.

Well, you must be the twins.

Good eye.

I'm Beverly Sims.

Now, which is which?

I'm Tamara. I'm Pia. Okay, now you may have to remind me again. Or maybe we can

get Lisa to knit you some name tags.

No, no, wait.

Ray told me. Let's see.

12?

14. Oh, that's so cute, the way they do that.

Yeah, we're thinking of putting them in the circus.

Well, here's funny Ray now.

Hello, Beverly.

Hi.

Ray, I love your tie.

Well, thank you.

Oh, well, I see you and then everybody.

Yes, we've become fast friends.

Yeah, my head is spinning.

We don't want to miss the curtain. You crazy kids. You have a good time.

Get away from me. I hate cats.

I mean, it's not that I hate them. It's just that I'm so allergic.

It's okay. I hate cats, too. You do? Yeah. Always have.

Always will.

We have so much in common.

She hated her.

So, how old are you?

Twelve. Oh, that's so cute the way they did that.

Can you believe how much perfume she was wearing? Yeah, I bet she was just

trying to cover up her B .O.

I think her dad really likes her.

What if they're in love?

Love? You rang?

with the most beautiful woman. Too bad he got to her first.

Roger, don't spy on my father, okay?

Tell me everything.

Oh, he's looking into her eyes kind of like this.

Roger, stop that.

Don't you understand? I'm offering myself to you now while I'm still young

you can mold me.

Uh -oh.

Uh -oh what?

Well, I just thought, stay falling in love and get married, then she'll be

moving in until you and your mom will be moving out.

Oh, man, that's right.

Don't worry. You can move in with me. Then your mom can go to the Y or

something.

Tamir, do you think that could happen?

Hey, come on. Beverly's gross.

I'm sure my dad will see right through her. There's nothing to worry about.

Tia.

Tia.

Good, you're up.

What's going on?

It's after midnight. My dad's not home.

That's weird. Your dad's always home.

So inconsiderate.

He could have at least called.

What? Is it too hard to pick up a phone?

And after all we've done for him.

Oh, is he... I can't believe this. Beverly's getting out of the car.

Things should be going home.

She is. so cheap.

This is wrong. We shouldn't be watching from here.

Right. We could be better downstairs.

I really had a great time.

This has been quite an evening.

I see the theater, coffee house, and all on a school night.

Ray, you need to get out more.

I get out. It's just that it's hard sometimes.

You know, when you have kids to take care of.

Well, um, who's gonna take care of Ray?

I wonder who.

It's me and you, Ray.

Ew!

She has got to go.

As the days went on, We saw more and more of Beverly. She was like this

that wouldn't stop growing.

We knew we had to get rid of her. Yeah, and there was no way we were going to be

split up again.

Well, I finally came up with a plan. I told her it was pretty stupid.

Like that was going to stop us.

So, you like my dad?

Very much.

He's really nice.

And his medication's working great. He hasn't had his fits.

Well, don't tell him we told you this, but sometimes he thinks he's James

Oh, good God almighty.

See? Well, I'll tell you, girls, I like Ray, but I love James Brown.

I love your eyes.

And I love the way you love my eyes.

And I love the way you love the way.

I love your eyes.

Oh, Ray.

Beverly, please.

Yes, this is Ray Campbell's secretary, Felicia.

Can you believe she's making me hold?

She is working my last nerve.

I want you two to quit interfering with me and Beverly.

Not again.

Yes, again, and I'm getting sick and tired of it.

Lisa, you think this is funny? Oh, no, I know it's very serious, Ray, but that

James Brown thing did tickle me.

Oh, good God almighty.

Now, I'm sorry you two don't like Beverly, but I do.

But, Dad, we don't think she's right for you.

I'm not sure if Beverly's right for me either.

But I'm going to keep seeing her until I find out. And if she's not right for

me, I'm going to date a lot of other women until I find the right person.

I totally agree with Ray. I don't know where he's going to find all these

but I totally agree.

The bottom line is, I'm going to be dating, so get used to it.

Got it?

Got it.

And we did get it.

Dad was going to date. But like I said, it's just a matter of finding the

perfect person. And we felt the least we could do was hell.

After all, we knew the perfect person.

The itsy bitsy spider came down the water spout. Down came Lisa

and blew the suckers up.

Hey, Mom, what are you doing?

I'm on bug patrol.

Mom, maybe you should change into something, you know, more sexy.

so I can seduce the Orkin man?

It's just that Beverly's coming over tonight, and she always looks so nice.

I don't care what Beverly thinks.

Well, Ray's home.

I care even less what Ray thinks.

You know, for your age group, Ray's a cute guy.

many things you guys have in common we're both black name another one okay

you don't have much in common but that's good too because opposites attract

think about it i'm coming for you

charlotte

Oh, I'm making dinner for Beverly. We're going to have a piece of salad, pasta

with my special marinara sauce.

Hmm, needs more of my secret ingredient.

Ragu.

I'm sure she'll like it.

I bet Lisa will like it, too.

No, you're right.

I better hide it.

How was school?

It was good.

We talked about this really good book, Madame Bovary.

I really don't remember, but I think it was about this guy.

who was going out with all these women.

Evil and with bad perfume.

But the whole time, the perfect woman for him was right there in his own

I really don't remember her name, but I think it was Liza or Lisa.

Lisa Bovary?

A good woman.

I think the bread plate goes on the left.

And no, the right.

No, left.

No, right. No, stop it, Ray.

I'm just having a little fun with you.

You're so easily amused.

I want you to know I'm taking the girls bowling tonight, just in case they

decide to set Beverly Pay on fire.

tried to fix me up with you.

It's not that funny, right?

Yeah, right.

He want me to wear something more sexy.

Sexier than that bug outfit?

Makes you want to take me to a roach motel, doesn't it?

They're worried if one of us gets married, they have to split up again.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

I wouldn't do anything like that. I mean, if I got married, we'd work

out. You get married.

Maybe I'll get married.

Well, if you get married, I'll give you away.

Well, fine.

I'm registered at Tiffany's.

Oh, these napkins are nice.

Make sure you take them out before you pour the wine.

Thanks.

No biggie. I think I'll go round up the girls.

What's that you're wearing? Is that new perfume?

Yeah. Black flag.

See ya.

Okay.

That salad was delicious.

Where do you taste my pasta?

Well, I love a man who knows his way around the kitchen.

You need a woman in your life, Ray.

Well, maybe you should come around more often.

You know, I was thinking that maybe next weekend the two of us could go away

someplace.

Maybe I'll pack my going -away bag.

But I'll have to make sure the girls are okay. I'll check with Lisa, make sure

she's not going anywhere.

Where would she go?

Yeah, you're right.

Well, anyway, weekend after that, we should definitely do something with the

girls.

Sure, that'd be great.

They're really a lot of fun.

Today, they did the cutest thing.

They tried to fix up... Never mind.

No, tell me.

No, no, no. You had to be there.

Ray, you can tell me anything. I like to laugh.

Okay, it's really silly.

Great, come on.

Okay.

Lisa was dressed in this weird outfit, killing bugs.

And I was in the kitchen cooking.

And the girls were running around.

Trying to fix us up.

Look at this.

Bug outfit, big can of bug spray.

Funny stuff.

I knew you had to be there.

Look, Ray, that woman is after you.

In a bug outfit?

And those girls are out of control.

I mean, they really need some discipline.

Oh, come on, they're just kids.

Ray, they're wonderful, but they're kind of like puppies.

I mean, they're cute chewing on your slipper, but if you don't whip them into

shape, they'll tear up the whole house.

Well, maybe I should send them to obedience school.

Don't worry, Ray.

We'll straighten them out together.

Yeah, together.

I don't feel like bowling.

It's no fun without teens.

Well, we could all go to the lounge and watch all the pathetic people smoke cigs

and hit on each other.

Okay.

Oh, for God almighty.

Dad! Hi, Ray.

All right, how about a game?

Where's Beverly?

Well, I don't think I'm going to be seeing much of Beverly anymore.

Really?

Oh, that's too bad.

I'm sorry.

I wasn't meant to be. Come on, let's bowl.

Okay, you're on.

All right, is this the four of us?

Brooklyn!

Brooklyn, Brooklyn, Brooklyn!

Manhattan.

Hi.

Hi.

I was watching you bowl.

I know. I was watching you watch.

Do you think you'll fall for that James Brown thing?

Lisa, the game has just begun.

Oh.

So I see you here a lot. Are you in a league?

I'm in a league of my own.

How about you?

Oh, well, I'm in a singles league.

Oh, I like that.

How do you get your ball, the curve like that? It's such a masculine curve.

Well, it's called a hook.

Here, let me show you.

Okay, now, bend your knees, and you keep your arm close to the body.

Yours or mine?

It's like watching a train wreck, isn't it?