Original subtitles

You think you got it, but how do you dump me?

You think you're so hot, well, don't die and show me yours.

Oh, yeah, you've got to show me yours.

His name was Will.

We'd been friends for two years before things changed and we felt ready to take

this step.

I was extremely nervous, but Will was gentle and understanding.

When he touched me, I felt like I was waking up after a long sleep.

I couldn't believe this was finally happening.

A moment I dreamed about and waited for my whole life.

Nadine, are you saying this was your first time?

Yes.

Can you tell us why you waited?

There were a lot of reasons.

I especially wanted to be with the right person.

It's so easy to make a mistake.

Not everybody understands when you make a change like I did.

A change like?

Until three years ago, I was a man.

I thought that might

stop you.

Nadine, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I never would have

suspected. Bone structure and preference by nature.

Arrested by a very good doctor. Did you live as a gay man or a straight man

before you had your gender reassignment?

I prefer sex change.

I was born with the wrong parts.

As for when I was a man, I tried everything.

And none of it felt right.

Actually, in nature, there are certain species that are protoginous.

Like the cichlids in our aquarium that change sex when...

Dr. Lankford? Was your first time as a woman satisfying?

Very.

Those doctors know what they're doing.

Thank

you

so much for coming in. You're welcome.

Take care.

Takes a lot of courage to make a change like that. I'd say it took balls.

I wouldn't be wrong.

Hey, I'll call Guy. This is for you from Tony, and this is for you from your

real estate agent, and you're supposed to call David as soon as you see the

plate.

Luxury living for the discriminating professional in a prestigious urban

Nice new habitat there, Kate.

Why does he keep pushing condos at me?

Don't get me wrong. I'd love to come over and use the pool.

Provided David's away on one of his so -called business trips.

What'd you get?

Punished.

Tony's notes on the latest chapter.

Oh, my.

The he said parts are filled with lazy generalizing about genetic determinism.

Kate's emotional arguments overwhelm you. This needs a page one rewrite.

Sleeping with the boss is really working for you, huh?

Not sleeping with the boss, on the other hand.

Not?

Hi. The building manager called, and apparently the rent check bounced.

How is that possible? Well, I found the bank, and they said that the monthly

retainer that Tony sends over never arrived.

What did you do?

She's focusing on the negative.

Stella, can you just run this over?

And we'll figure things out with Tony later. I'm on it.

Don't judge me when you're holding the dirty money.

Marshall owed me. It's my money.

Then why don't you bank it instead of hiding it in your bag?

I've been busy.

You're worried how it'll look walking into the bank with all that cash.

Wouldn't you?

Wouldn't Nadine still be Nathan if all she cared about is what other people

thought?

Well, whatever you do with it, I'm sure it'll be prudent.

Maybe you can put it toward that beautiful new condo. You say prudent

a bad thing.

No, no, I admire it.

Seriously.

Then you'll be disappointed because I've made plans to throw a party with it.

A $5 ,000 party?

Well, $3 ,000 now after the rent, but still buys a lot of champagne.

That is wildly unpredictable.

Congratulations, Kate.

Anyone coming besides me?

You do realize that if we were to have the private party that you want...

I'd be cheating. You'd be exploring your options, which is what nature wants you

to do. Ben, we've been at this for months. You would never respect a woman

only does what nature wants her to do.

I could try.

There's way more room than your place.

Yeah? 24 -hour doorman, good security, pool, gym, great view, the upkeep is

taken care of.

Yeah? Well, I can see why David's so keen on it.

What about you?

I hate it.

Kate, come on. The charm comes with age.

You guys can live there forever without running out of space.

Yeah, the two of us could live there forever.

Meaning?

Pitter -patter of tiny feet.

Oh, forget the stupid condo.

What's going on with you and Gavin?

Have you told him?

About crossing the aisle?

He did more than cross the aisle, honey.

I haven't gotten around to it yet.

I keep imagining there will be some perfect moment where I can say, sweetie,

cheated on you with a chick, and he's not going to smile and say it's okay, is

he?

Of course, now that I'm an adulteress, the possibility is numerous.

Hi. Hi.

I'm having a party.

I hope you can make it.

Thanks. Maybe I will.

Did you just invite him to your party?

I guess I did. Okay, Kate, I don't have a PhD, but it doesn't take one to figure

that one out. It doesn't mean anything.

Kate's boyfriend's condo invites a handsome stranger to party. You're

perfectly meaningless.

Are you going to help me shop for this party or what?

Oh, just think of it, Kate.

I'll be home in a few weeks and we'll be in our new place.

David. I've been picking up a lot of fantastic tribal art. David.

I love that mix of tribal and modern.

I can't do it.

Why not?

You've seen how nice it looks in my place.

Not the art, the condo.

I'm not moving into a place like that.

Okay, how about a house?

I don't know.

Hypothetically, Kate, the perfect town.

You and me in it. Can you see that?

Maybe.

Really great.

Okay, don't get sarcastic. I'm not getting sarcastic, Kate.

I just found out that my girlfriend doesn't want to live with me. I didn't

that. Well, what did you say then? I said not a condo. Or a house.

Don't yell at me. I hate it when you yell at me.

And maybe you hate me, Kate.

Oh, David, grow up.

I thought that's what I was doing, but apparently us moving in together is no

longer a part of that. Maybe it isn't. You know what? Screw you, Kate. I'm just

going to get a condo on my own. Okay, fine.

you are breaking up with me on the phone i cannot that is just so classy okay

well it's classier than your stupid condo oh boy

that went better than expected oh kate

This one or this one?

That one's cute.

That one's hot.

The newly single Kate Langford is not cute.

Okay, I predict right now that tonight we will fulfill the four rules of a

party. Which are?

Well, somebody's already broken up. That would be me. So now all we need is

somebody crying, somebody puking, somebody making out inappropriately. I

get all four myself.

All right, I think you better slow down there.

What for?

I'm on a roll.

I tried breaking up with a condo, and I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend.

My best boyfriend ever, by the way.

You yelled at each other. You hung up on him. It does not mean it's over.

Unless, of course, you want it to be over.

You do still love him, don't you?

Yes, of course I do.

If I didn't, I would have... In fact, now that I think about it, I could...

that's Stella with the food.

Don't tell her about David.

Don't tell anyone. All right, but could've, would've what?

The other cool thing about cichlids is that when there are no males around, one

of the females can turn into a male.

That would have been very useful at girl guide camp.

So I was just thinking maybe I could come in one day, talk to you and Dr.

You want to tell us a story?

Huh?

You want to hear my story?

I have had three men in here.

At once.

Of course, it was only a dream, but who knows, maybe tonight all my dreams will

come true.

Kate, you look like you could use some coffee.

I can think of some other things I could use.

Shh, chill this.

Okay, I know.

Come sit.

Oh, I thought I could count on you for something a little more manly. This is

for Kate.

This is for us.

So much for your lazy generalizing.

If you don't jump him, Stella, I will.

All right.

Maybe lazy generalizing.

Actually, that was fair.

Parts with that thing you did with the office.

What about the office?

Hell hath no fury like a rent check bounce.

Oh, God.

I switched to corporate cancer now, and it should have been taken care of. And

it will.

You really think I'm not broken up too much?

Coffee.

Not my mother.

Thank you.

That's excellent.

This is what we all need. Right, darling?

Guys, let's not do this, okay? Let's just go home. You should have found that

before you told me.

You didn't want to lie to me.

Did I ask you if you slept with anyone lately? Did I?

Hi, guys.

Drink?

Yep.

So you told him everything?

Telling him it was a woman probably would have sent him over the edge.

Threats to his masculinity and all that.

I wonder if Ben can talk some sense into him.

Ben looks really good tonight, doesn't he? Gavin is talking about leaving me,

and all you can say is Ben looks good?

Marshall, hey, did you invite every man you know to this party? There's only

seven, and David couldn't make it.

I'll be right back.

Look, gorgeous.

Hey.

I was really surprised to get your invite.

After that kiss off, I thought I'd never see you again.

Are you kidding? You owe me $7 ,000.

Is that why you invited me?

Actually, there's something I want from you. Come here.

Lots of people cheat around weddings.

All that fake stress about the last person I'll ever sleep with.

What do you mean fake?

Nothing personal, bud.

But all your crap about how we're born to cheat hasn't made you the most well

-adjusted cuckoo.

Please, please break up with me.

Catherine, we're not exactly together.

I kiss you, you kiss me, we kiss each other, and it's all the same mess. If

would just give me the breakup you owe me from eight years ago.

If you would break up with me properly.

And why would I want to do that again?

So we can move on.

So we have a chance to change and maybe, maybe be friends.

Like real friends, yeah?

Yeah.

What do you think?

See, now I get it.

We're born to cheat, Dr.

Langford.

Don't worry about your absent boyfriend, because I'm here, I'm willing and able,

and you'll never have to feel bad with me if you got it wrong.

Catherine, I've been meaning to talk to you.

You know I love you, right?

Oh, my God, you're not breaking up with me, are you?

Well, you said you wanted.

Oh, no, no, no, I'm in the moment. I'm in the moment. Oh, oh.

And I've been thinking, if we're going to grow, we need to go our separate

which is why I bought a ticket to Laos two weeks ago, and I'm leaving tomorrow.

Wait, you were still sleeping with me, and you knew you were leaving? Am I

breaking up with you here, or what?

Oh, right.

Please go ahead.

I really think you're wonderful.

But you're just a little more complicated than I'm ready for.

Maybe more than I'll ever be ready for.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, that's so nice.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Marshall?

So, has he given you the cheating is natural spiel?

Mm -hmm.

And?

He can believe what he wants.

I'm still pissed.

I'm sorry if you are.

So even though I was honest with you, you're still mad at me?

Well, then I might as well tell you that sex was really hot.

Shut up, Jody.

Which is surprising, since it was with a woman.

A what?

You slept with a woman?

Yep. I might be gay.

Jeez, I thought you actually cheated.

Screw you.

Boom.

That's hot.

It's really hot. Yeah.

And we were in the same psych seminar in grad school.

It's different to you. He graduated and I... We went on to higher things.

Really? Like what?

Oh, part of it. That's probably the way it came. You know the story. I love him.

He told you that was the problem.

As a matter of fact...

There's something I need to figure out.

Oh?

How's that?

I could.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. That was so unfair. It's just I keep seeing you everywhere, and,

um...

I'm sure you're a nice guy, but... What? So cheating. Come on, babe. This

changes everything.

Do I know her?

Am I telling you what that was all about?

Oh, crying.

Breaking up.

Inappropriate kissing.

And I think I'm going to be sick.

That's four for four, people.

This is my best party ever.

Oh.

On the surface, I had everything.

Success, good friends, a home.

But nothing on the outside matched my insides.

I had to change.

Any regrets once you did make the change?

I lost people.

I'm sorry about that.

But I gained myself.

No regrets.

Hi.

Hi. You look like you've been camping out.

Had some changes to make.

How's it going?

Good. I find I'm much less overwhelmed by your emotional arguments.

I'll leave you to it, then.

Oh, no, you don't.

Okay.

There are so

many things I could say next.

Hard to know where to begin.

I'd like to thank the Academy.

Ow, ow, ow. I have to sit down.

Are you all right?

I'm a little hungover.

That was some pretty heroic drinking.

I don't feel very heroic.

Don't give it to me.

It's yours.

I wonder where Nadine found all of her courage.

Change or die?

When the stakes aren't that high.

Still tough, isn't it?

Doing this book was a big change for me.

Although most days it's not so much writing a book as going through therapy.

Really? All I know is I've been in a state of constant pain for the last

months.

Then my training has not been in vain.

Been that guy at the party.

There was a guy?

Kissing him didn't mean anything.

Then why bother?

Guess I'm not as brave as Nadine.

I was right there. You could have kissed me.

I couldn't kiss you.

Because?

Because that's what got me into trouble in the first place. Are you in trouble

now?

I guess we should get ready

for work.

Funny gal between men.

So am I.

I broke up with David.

I think.

How are you?

I'm fine.

God, I really am okay.

I guess I burned through my grief at the party.

Not just the grief.

That guy, that kiss.

It's a long story.

We've got time.

And videotape.

That's what I like about you, Ben.

Hope springs eternal.

Hey.

Here.

You break it, you buy it. He belongs to you now.

Oh, no.

Oh, yeah. No.

He does.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank

you.