Original subtitles

Stevie's coming. I still can't believe it. I'm going to die.

So dramatic.

Dramatic? She's going to sing the very song from the very stage from which her

very career was launched.

Very exciting.

Just remember, Mikey, Stevie's all mine.

In your dreams, Zach.

Stevie's 17.

She goes out for older guys like River Phoenix.

How would you know? I'm the president of her fan club. I read it in this month's

confidential newsletter.

Yeah, confidential to all 500 ,000 members.

Hey, everybody, I think she's coming.

I guess my new toothpaste really works.

This is really intense. What's going down? We're all waiting for... Stevie!

By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look, I'm at the corner just in

time to see the bus fly by.

It's all right, because I'm straight by the bell.

If the teacher pops a test, I know I'm in a mess, and my dog ate all my

last night.

Riding on my chair, she won't know that I'm there. If I can hand it in tomorrow,

it'll be all right.

It's all right, because I'm straight by the bell.

It's all right, cause I'm saved by the bill. It's all right, cause I'm saved by

the bill. It's all right, cause I'm saved by the bill.

3 .15.

School's out.

The classrooms are empty, the halls are empty, and I'm running on empty.

It's a chance to organize my lesson plans for tomorrow and catch a few quiet

moments for myself.

You lost the bet.

I did not. Yes, you did. I said I would kiss Stevie, and I did.

That didn't count. You kissed her poster, you pervert.

Liz, will you settle this?

There's really nothing to settle.

Gambling's not allowed in the school, remember?

You bet.

Miss Bliss, it's not really gambling.

I bet Nikki that if I kissed Stevie, she would have to wash my gym clothes for a

year.

I don't normally condone betting.

But, Zach, I'll take as much of that action as I can get.

We'll see who washes whose laundry.

Help, there's a kid trying to get me to autograph his fly collection.

Hi, Miss Bliss.

Colleen Morton.

It's great to see you again.

Colleen, no one calls me that anymore.

It feels good. Look at you.

You've changed.

I know. I'm not as wild as I used to be.

No, I mean... I mean you look adorable.

Uh -oh.

My manager says I'm only supposed to be adorable to people under 21.

Sit down for a minute.

I've gotten your letters from all over the world.

Where in your busy schedule did you find time to write?

Be real, Miss Bliss.

You don't forget your friends.

So where are you staying?

With your folks? Oh, no, at a hotel.

My parents don't live here anymore. I bought them a house out on the coast.

the old Vanna White estate.

Well, in that case, I insist that you stay at the old Carrie Bliss estate.

And the best part of it is you don't have to buy a valve.

Look who's here.

Stevie! Hello, Mr. Spalding.

It's Valden, but you can call me Richard.

I called you Richard when I was going to school here, and you sent me to

detention for a week.

Oh, excuse me. Stevie, this is Milo Williams.

I'm a fan of yours.

I love your records.

Especially that one about holding hands in a Buick. What? Death?

Mr. Belding, Stevie has a wonderful idea about her song for the concert film.

Lay it upon me. I'm hip.

I would like to sing my song to one special person at JFK.

Oh, really?

What a great idea. I am flattered.

Uh, I think, uh, Stevie had someone a little younger in mind.

Like a student.

Oh, no, I see.

Oh, don't be bummed. You'll always be someone very special to me, Mr.

Great news, Nikki.

Miss Palladino asked me to pick somebody to interview Stevie for the school

newspaper. So who'd you pick?

Me.

Bet you almost fainted when you found out.

I'll be lucky if I have the guts to open my mouth.

Come with me?

Oh, I don't know either. Please, Nikki.

You know, interviewing Stevie isn't really my thing. Do it for me.

I'll give you the olives off my next pizza.

Little Colleen Morton.

Isn't life amazing?

I know.

I can't believe what's happened to her.

Oh, I can.

I saw it when she was in my music class.

The way that girl belted out this land is my land. I almost wrote her a rent

check.

You know what I've noticed since she's been staying at my house? What?

Success hasn't spoiled her one bit.

She's still just a sloppy teenager.

Does anybody else know she's staying with you? No. You're the only one I've

told. Oh, my lips are sealed.

Hey, Nikki, did you see the headlines in the school paper?

Stevie, do you pick gunk for concert play?

Gunk? No, honk. The print shop ran out of capital H's.

Oh, looking for a honk?

Well, then I've got three days to pump me up.

Oh, please.

So what's the big deal?

She's going to sing a song to a guy on stage, and that's how I'm going to get

kiss. I'm going to be that guy.

She won't be able to say no while the cameras are rolling.

Why is she going to pick you? I mean, there's hundreds of other guys drooling

for a chance.

Yeah, but I'll be the only guy without drool on my chin.

She'll love me.

Stevie is some manipulator.

She should do anything for publicity.

That's not true. I happen to know she hates personal publicity.

She sits on Oprah, Carson, Hirono, and Letterman.

Oh, Miss Bliss!

Miss Bliss!

Mom just called. I just got accepted as a freshman at Notre Dame.

That's wonderful!

Oh!

When did you decide to go to college?

Ah, I think it was in the 40s. third city of a 38 -day tour. I was either in

Guinea or New Jersey.

You mean you didn't know where you were?

No, I didn't know who I was.

I think college is a good place to find out.

So, what is going to happen with your career?

That's what my manager, my agents, my accountants, and my lawyers keep asking.

What do you tell them?

Cheer, cheer for old Notre Dame.

That's great.

I'm so proud of you. I'm so happy.

But it's happening so quickly.

I just wish my parents were here to help.

Well, I'm here.

You lean on me, I'll take their place. That's cool.

Can I borrow the car?

No. You really have taken their place.

Come on, Lisa. You're taking all day.

Let me look at that fan club newsletter.

Hold on. I'll find you something.

How about this?

Stevie's favorite snack is carob -covered yogurt balls.

Wow. That's what I feed my flies.

Makes her wings shiny.

But give me something better.

I need a clue into her innermost thoughts.

Well, she loves charities, stray animals, and lost causes.

Then I'm perfect.

How far lost does a cause have to be before she gets involved?

Only the most desperate situations.

Earthquake relief, world hunger, children's hospitals, things.

You know, Lisa, I'm not feeling too well.

I think I better go see my doctor.

You don't look well. Your hair is messed.

What? Can I help you?

Me, Mr. Spelding.

Oh, Stevie, what a pleasant surprise.

Oh, I really hate to ask you this, but Mrs. Spelding... I mean, Mrs. Spelding

has been hounding me and hounding me. So, could you just sign this poster for

her?

No problem.

Who should I make it out to? Richard.

She'll get a real kick out of that.

Thanks.

Now, what can I do for you?

I picked the boy I'm going to sing to.

How wonderful. Who's the lucky dude?

He's not so lucky.

His doctor sent this letter to my manager at the hotel.

Poor kid.

Can you imagine his last request is that I sing to him?

Last request?

Are you saying that some boy in my school is dying?

Yes. So how can I think of picking anyone else?

My patient's last request is that you sing a song to him.

Perhaps this could prolong his life for a few precious days, and P .F., don't be

afraid to kiss him. He's not contagious.

I can't believe it. Zack Morris is dying.

Just imagine the fear our forefathers must have felt.

leaving their homes for parts unknown.

What do you think it was that sustained the pioneers during their darkest times?

Nightlight?

Attention, please.

We now have the name of the courageous young man who's been selected to be on

stage with Stevie.

So, Zack Morris, if it's not too much trouble, please come to my office.

All right.

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

Congratulations, Zach.

You've won against incredible odds.

What's your secret?

Born lucky, I guess.

How'd you pull this one off?

What'd you do? Tell him you were dying?

Freeze. Not another step.

All right, that's the all pass.

I don't have one. I was... Cutting class.

Zach, you're a dead man.

Oh, no.

Not yet.

Zach, son, I understand.

Stevie showed me the letter.

Well, we all got to go sometime, sir.

Excuse me.

Are we going to bury him for breaking the rules or not?

Milo, Ixnay on the Arriba.

Say what?

Mr. Veldy, I want you to know how much this means to me to be even a small part

in Stevie's farewell.

What plug? What inspiration?

I'm sure.

I don't want it to get out.

People might treat me special and well.

I wouldn't want that.

I understand.

And if it's any comfort to you, I am removing every black mark on your

Well, I hope you have a big eraser.

Hey, guys.

What's happening?

It's Stevie.

It's really you. I guess it is. You must be Lisa Turtle.

You're awesome.

And you're?

Nikki.

She'll be fine. Right, Nikki?

It helps if you remember to breathe.

An old rock and roll trick.

See, not only is she awesome, she's smart.

Total person.

So, Stevie, I guess the big question all your fans want to know is, why are you

quitting?

Well, I'm not quitting quitting.

I'm just chilling out for a while. A college education is really important.

It means singing isn't everything.

Are you crazy?

What you do on that stage is important. You just can't chill out on us. We love

you. We need you.

Don't do this to us.

If you're through with your nervous breakdown, I'd like to move on to more

important questions.

Stevie, what do you do when you break a nail?

You wanted to see me?

Yes.

Mr. Belding showed me the note from your doctor.

He did?

You poor baby.

Poor baby?

Here, sit down.

Can I do anything for you?

Oh. I was feeling kind of weak during that test yesterday.

Maybe if you gave me an A, it might make my life a little more... funny.

Oh, God.

but what is it exactly that you're suffering from?

Well, it's a very rare, uh, uh, deskirosis.

Deskirosis? Yes, well, it only affects one out of every ten, twelve billion

people. What a coincidence.

My grandfather had that.

He did?

You're not dying.

I'm not?

There's a... Pure.

Come over here.

Put your arms over your head. Hop on one foot. Now cluck like a chicken.

What kind of treatment is this anyway?

I call it a dose of your own medicine.

Would it help if I told you I was feeling better?

Zack, life and death are nothing to fool around with.

Do you realize the pain you've caused everybody?

Mr. Belding?

Yeah, that part was fun.

No, it wasn't.

And it wasn't like what you did to Stevie either.

Stevie? What does she care about me? I'm just the guy she's going to think of

for three minutes.

Not anymore, she's not.

And let me tell you another thing.

Stevie cared a lot when she thought you were thick. A lot.

Now go directly to Mr. Belding's office. He's waiting for you.

Hi. I'm sorry. These track houses all look alike.

If you're looking for Miss Bliss, she's upstairs.

Do you want to come in and wait?

Yeah, sure.

Thanks.

I'm Colleen.

My friends call me Colleen.

Hi, I'm Zach.

Zach? Yeah.

As in Zachary Morris?

Wait a minute.

How'd you know that? Look, is Miss Bliss really here? I saw this movie once

where this lady escaped from the asylum and I missed this with me.

I'm glad to see you're going to live.

Boy, nothing's a secret around here.

Did you really make a bet that you could kiss Stevie?

Yeah.

I guess you think she's pretty hot.

Nah. Nah?

Okay, she's not a dog.

Wait a minute. You went through all this trouble just to kiss someone who's not

a dog?

It was a bet.

Look, I just stopped by to apologize to Miss Bliss and, uh...

I hope she can reach Stevie to say I'm sorry.

I'll give her the message.

Anything else?

Yeah.

Ask her to tell Stevie that I love her music and I think she's a fool for

it up. What do you mean?

She had it made.

The easy life.

Money. Limo. Spending half her life in airports living out of a suitcase?

Fame.

No privacy?

Are you a friend of hers or something?

Maybe I know how she feels.

Look, I gotta go.

You staying with Miss Bliss for a while?

No.

I just decided I'm going to college.

Hey, Zach.

Don't you think Stevie is even a little hot?

Stevie who?

Well, it's quite a turnout.

Did you see all those reporters in the hall?

What about the scalpers in the street?

One of them offered me $200 for my teacher ID card. He didn't. What did you

I sit here and I don't take checks.

Oh, Zach, my gym bag's just right under my chair, so just pick it up when you

leave. Too bad, Zach. I hope they have a washer -dryer in detention.

Well, I guess you won, Nicky.

Oh, I love those words.

You won, Nicky. Would you two be quiet?

This is the most exhilarating and depressing moment of my life.

Stevie is performing for the last time.

Ladies and gentlemen, our very own Stevie.

I need your recollection.

My friends call me Colleen.

That's her.

I kissed Stevie.

Nikki, I won the bet. I kissed Stevie.

I bet the best. You lost fair and square.

Oh, and don't forget to use soccer.

No, no, no, really. Last night I missed Liz's house.

Come on, Lisa, let's go.

No, Nikki, it's true.

It's true, Nikki. I kissed her. I kissed her. I'm serious. I kissed her. Look,

I'll even ask her. I kissed her.