Original subtitles

When I wake up in the morning and the lawn gets out of mornin', I don't think

I'll ever make it on time.

By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look, I'm at the corner just in

time to see the bus fly by.

It's alright, cause I'm safe out the bell.

If the teacher pops a test, I know I'm in a mess and my dog ate all my homework

last night.

Riding on my chair, she won't know that I'm there. If I can hand it in tomorrow,

it'll be all right.

It's all right, cause I'm free by the bell.

People learning to work together is a wonderful thing.

It means they have to listen to each other, consider different points of

and reach a compromise.

My only problem is, how do you teach that?

A cute girl looking for a place to sit on the bus.

There's no reason to push me off my seat, Zach.

The bus lurched.

We were at a red light.

Now, today's the day we start our team projects.

Mind if I sit down, or do you think the room will lurch?

Now, can someone tell me what these items have in common?

Well, they're all on your desk.

They're all famous American inventions, Zach.

Sure, go for the easy answers.

More specifically, they were all invented in the late 1800s.

Now, can anyone tell me what this is?

Uh, this is just a wild guess, Miss Bliss.

It lights up.

I think Bliss has been working around the rubber cement.

My point is, Mikey, that where the light bulb, the camera, the phone were

invented, people didn't just accept them, they had questions.

People actually questioned the phone?

That's right.

That's it.

So your project today is to convince me to buy your invention. As if I'd never,

ever heard of it before. Okay?

Right. Now for the teams. Samuel, your invention is the camera.

And your team is Jennifer.

Plus you!

Plus you, Miss What?

Lisa and Mikey, your invention is the typewriter.

The typewriter?

But I'll break my nails.

And I just fought them.

Thoughts what, Elisa? I'll do the typing.

I grow my own.

Let me tell you another thing, Zach.

That girl wasn't even that cute.

I'll be charitable.

She was a three.

I wouldn't knock you on the floor for a three. She was a five with potential.

You are such a pig, Zach.

Our next invention is the telephone.

Vicki and Zach, since you seem to be having such a good time talking to each

other, it's all yours.

Midnight.

Life as I know it is over.

But you've called and told me about it in the morning.

So?

Thanks to you, I don't have a phone or a bed or a roof over my head. Okay, Tina,

just slow down. What is going on? I did exactly what you told me to do. What was

that? I threatened to break up with Donnie unless he married me.

But I never told you to do that.

Yes, you did.

You said honesty will always work.

And?

And he kicked me out. He rented my apartment to somebody else.

I wonder where he found a tenant in the middle of the night.

Who cares? I am out on the street.

No, you're not. You're going to stay right here with me.

Thanks, Carrie.

I didn't think of it. What are you doing up?

I've got a deadline to make for my article for Good Earth magazine.

What's good about it?

Carrie, I'm sorry.

I'm just so upset.

Look, Tina, you've just got to remember, it's Donnie's loss.

You're right. You're right. Life goes on for everyone.

But me!

Oh, come on. Everything will be all right, I promise.

What is a broomstick doing in my garbage disposal?

Could you believe there is a witch on the other end of this?

Okay, Tina, out with it.

Well, it all started when I was cleaning up and the disposal ate your dish

towel.

What was my dish towel doing in the sink?

Well, I had to use it to remove the broken glass.

Broken glass?

As in my good crystal goblets?

Goblet.

Tina, these have been in my family 50 years.

I am so sorry, Carrie.

It was an accident.

When the disposal jammed, I tried to loosen it with the broom handle.

I saw Donnie do it once.

Oh, he was so good at those things.

Donnie! It's all right, Tina. It's all right.

Don't worry.

I'll call a plumber. So how are you this morning?

Actually, I was feeling a lot better this morning.

I woke up, I put a smile on my face, and I said to myself, Tina,

Flashes tires.

That's healthy.

Oh, speaking of healthy, I made you a special high -fiber protein drink.

I think I'll get my fiber from my bran muffin.

Oh, well, I, uh, you ate it?

Not exactly. I used it for the fiber in the protein drink.

Fine.

Look, I just have time for a nice hot shower.

And then it's off. Off to school.

You know, I read that hot showers are not necessarily a good thing.

Tina, you see, I already took my shower.

You know, it's amazing how quickly an hour goes by when you're in a love coma.

Okay, look, Seth, let's just forget about yesterday and get going on the

project. Fine with me. All right.

I did some research.

And I have a lot of facts and figures to go over. Oh, wait. Whoa. Slow down.

Facts and figures?

Yeah. These are not good words.

Trust me. This project is all presentation.

Have I ever steered you wrong before?

Let me put that another way.

Boring. Forget it, Zach. I'm not going to let you mess up this project. For

information, I worked up a fantastic presentation last night.

Did you spend more than five minutes on it? Yes, I spent more than five minutes

on it.

More than ten?

No. But it was quality time.

Listen. We'll talk.

We'll have lunch.

Did we really have to drive by Donnie's house three times? I wanted to catch a

glimpse of his new trollop.

Wait a second. It makes me his old trollop.

Forget what I said.

Tina, we are late.

Boy, we're a little bit off schedule and you bite my head off. What is the big

deal? You tell me.

It's inconsiderate, irresponsible, and it will never...

happen again, Mr. Belding.

Nice jacket.

Miss Bliss, it's not like you to be late. Is everything all right?

Everything's fine, really.

Because if it isn't, you know, you can always come to me.

I'm fine, thank you.

Okay, I just thought that after 11 years of working together, we'd be able to

share our props.

All right.

I didn't get much sleep. I didn't have any breakfast. I had a cold shower and

hair is still wet. You happy now?

Really wish she'd leave her personal life at home.

Stop gawking at me. We're supposed to be discussing the project.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

No.

Good, then I've still got a shot.

Now, my first chart shows the distance the average farmer was from his

Whoa, that ought to grab their attention.

And this chart shows that not only will the phone reach your neighbor, but other

things. Ooh, let me catch my breath.

Zach, will you cut it out?

Vicki, you're talking the big snooze here.

Now, I'll show you a real presentation.

First, I'll get on one phone, and you'll get on another.

And I'll be Alexander Graham Bell. And you'll be Ma Bell. Excuse me, Ma Bell?

You can be Taco Bell for all I care.

I'm flexible.

This is so typical of you, Zach.

You just want to goof around. You never take anything seriously.

Well, I've had it. Ma Bell is putting you on hold permanently.

My audience... Oh, okay.

I can take a hint.

I'll just go in the kitchen.

Oh, before I forget, I invited my therapy group here Thursday night. It's

week.

This is beautiful.

Hide it. The group tends to throw things.

Hina. Hina.

I was wondering, have you found a place to live yet?

And I know what you're going to say.

Why look for a place when you have plenty of room here?

Be roaming.

Well, split the rent.

Well, maybe we won't split the rent. I mean, after all, you do have the bigger

bedroom, Tina.

Okay, okay, we'll split the rent. But I get the bathroom first in the morning.

Listen, it's not working. You're driving me crazy.

You're going to have to leave.

I'm sorry.

I hope you understand.

Well, I'm a very understanding person.

But could you, um, help me out with one little thing?

Sure. Anything.

Why is it that all the people I love kick me out?

Stephanie?

Morning, Miss Bliss.

Morning, Milo.

Too bad you had to kick out your friend, Tina.

First your boyfriend did her in, now her best friend. What a bummer.

Milo, I did not kick her out.

I just prefer to live alone, that's all.

And why am I discussing this with you anyway?

Probably because you don't have Tina to kick around anymore.

Uh -oh.

Excuse me.

Tina, come on. You can't be mad at me forever.

What makes you think I'm mad?

I'm not mad.

Are you okay?

Yeah, fine.

Oh, good.

Well, I'm glad.

I know that if I just stabbed my best friend in the back, I'd be miserable.

Have a nice day.

And so with a camera, you can capture a memory.

But I don't quite understand.

Wouldn't a painting do the same thing?

Well, I'm glad you brought that up. You see, the proof is in the picture.

Jennifer, if you please.

has earned you a B.

Is keeping that picture worth the lower grade?

Absolutely!

Hold it, hold it.

Now, tomorrow's presentations are from Amanda and Jeremy, Lisa and Mikey, and

Zach and Nikki.

Okay, go discover America.

Did you feel anything at all?

Words can't describe it. Yeah, I felt the same thing too.

And of course we need to talk.

What's the problem?

I'm standing next to it. Well, the view's not so great from here either.

I want to be perfectly honest.

For the record, it's all Nikki's fault. It's my fault. You see, she admits it.

Now, settle down, both of you.

I teamed everyone together for a reason.

I know sometimes it's difficult working together, but believe me, in life you

have to learn to work these things out.

But I thought if anybody would understand, you would.

What happened with you and Miss Palladino? Good point. Took the words

of my mouth. Excuse me. I don't think that's any of your business.

Don't look at me. I took the words right out of her mouth.

Now listen.

Either you do this project together or I have to give each of you an F.

These words are right out of my mouth.

Yes, I'm calling about the apartment for rent.

Yeah, your ad says it has a garage.

The apartment is the garage.

I'll call you back if I have to sleep in my car.

Hi.

Is it okay if I use your phone?

Of course.

Visa, I would hate to inconvenience you any more than I already have.

It's all right.

Why don't I just go down to the gas station and use the pay phone?

Still light out.

I should be safe.

God willing.

I tell my students that they've got to learn to work things out.

Well, why don't we give being roommates another try?

What do you say?

I think you're making this up because you feel guilty.

That's not true.

Okay, then look me in the eye and tell me that you are not doing this out of

guilt. I am not doing this out of guilt.

You're looking me in the nose.

All right, I do feel guilty.

But, Tina, I wish you could... see this from my point of view. I mean, I'm on a

tight schedule.

I have to have my life organized.

After all, teaching kids, saving the whales, cleaning the planet doesn't

me very much time.

And I'm in the way.

I'm sorry.

But I think we both need our own space.

I thought you liked me.

I thought we were friends.

I do.

And we are.

Where are you going?

I'm going to find a cheap hovel in a depressed area that will have me.

Mikey and Lisa, that was a very well thought out presentation on the

B plus. All right.

Stick with me, kids.

Mikey, I knew you could type fast, but I had no idea you were that fast.

Schmickfob. Think of Miss Bell. Schmickfob.

Mickey and Zach, you're on.

Okay, just don't do anything stupid.

Hey, it's all yours.

Okay, um... Now, the year is 1887.

Now, this is a chart of the distance the average farmer was from his nearest

neighbor. Now, in some cases, hundreds of miles.

Now, it can take weeks for a letter to travel from one place to another.

Pace yourself, Mickey.

You don't want to peak too soon.

And what if you have an emergency and you need a doctor?

The answer is my invention, the telephone.

Our invention.

Right.

Okay, here's how it works. You dial a number on your phone and someone else's

phone rings.

They answer, you talk, it's all in seconds. Well, I'm sold. Is this thing

beige?

This telephone of yours, how much does it cost?

Um, well, it costs about $45.

I can buy two cows for that.

Can I get milk from your phone?

Well, if you call the dairy, it can.

I don't think so.

I'm just a poor farmer. I got a lot of chores and plowing to do. Unless you can

change my mind, I'm not interested.

Ring, ring, ring.

Come on, Zach, aren't things bad enough already?

Can somebody answer that, please?

I'm not here.

I think you should talk to him.

Hello?

Hello? Look, I know you're there. I can hear your teeth grinding. What do you

want? You never answered my letter.

Aren't we friends anymore?

I think I'm about to invent the hang -up. What's that?

You never received my letter?

Huh, must have gotten lost.

I'm sure glad I called you on the telephone.

Yeah. Right, the telephone.

It's a good thing I have one. Right.

It might cost more, but thanks to the phone, friends can talk things out.

Right?

I mean, we were friends since the first grade.

We used to play Little League together.

Remember?

We had a lot of fun.

Yeah. I know what you mean.

Well, um, I'm really glad you called. I'm glad I called, too.

So, if not for the phone, your friendship might have ended.

Right. And then I think it's a little bit better now.

I don't know. I'm still bothered by one thing.

This invention of yours.

Can I get a mobile phone for my horse?

Well done, both of you. A minus.

Hey, thanks for bailing us out. What are partners for?

After school, you want to throw the ball around?

I'll call you.

Who is it?

Grand Muffin for Carrie Glitz.

Grand Muffin for Carrie Glitz.

Tina.

You are one of my favorite people. Do you know that? I am so sorry, Carrie.

This is your home, and I was wrong to bring my crazy life into it.

But you are who you are, and that's who I love.

That's who you can't live with.

Oh, come on.

You didn't exactly like living with me either, did you?

Well, to tell you the truth, I didn't.

With you, everything has to be in its place.

That drove me crazy.

You got to be so touchy over one little broken, priceless heirloom.

As a matter of fact, a simple no was really all I was looking for.

Friends. Friends.

Now, I have got some terrific news. What? I have rented the guest house on

next street. It's going to be great. Every morning, we'll jog together.

Terrific. And we'll have our own hot showers.

Absolutely. And then, I am going to make you the best breakfast.

Tina, quit while you're ahead.

Wait a minute. I make lots of things.

I made that bran muffin.

Hi, it's Zach again.

You know, there is nothing that could come between guys who have been friends

forever. That is nothing except the girl you both like.

When Mikey and I were in the eighth grade, we both fell for the same girl

didn't know it. She was really pretty, but what happened to us sure wasn't.

Watch and see.