Original subtitles

believe you. Every morning you turn this place into a cosmetic counter.

You know I can't put on makeup at home. My mom would kill me.

Makeup's your biggest problem?

Trust me, it takes a lot of hard work to be a natural beauty.

Boy, must be easy being you.

Okay, Mickey, what's your problem?

Parent -teacher week.

The parent part.

What are you worried about? You're doing great. Not great enough.

You know what my parents are going to say when they find out I'm only living

to my potential?

They'll say how proud they are of you.

That's what they'll say, but that's not what they'll mean.

You're nuts, you know that?

Maybe I should see a shrink.

And if that doesn't work, go shopping.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Bye.

It's all right, because I'm saved by the bill. It's all right, because I'm saved

by the bill. It's all right, because I'm saved by the bill.

Parent Teacher Week reminds me of an anxiety -filled show and tell.

Parents hoping to hear the best, students expecting the worst, and the

having to place the truth somewhere in between. I mean, how do you tell parents

their child is best qualified to be a speed bump?

Tickets to the Hot Lead concert go on sale Thursday morning.

But we're not going to get any, because Thursday's the school day.

Well, that shouldn't be a problem. You said that ever since your parents got

divorced, your dad would do anything for you. Well, can you believe it? He won't

write me any more doctor's excuses unless I actually go to the doctor.

That's sick.

Hi. Hi.

So, tell me about your rafting trip. Did you meet anybody?

Well, actually, I met the most wonderful man while clinging to a rock.

How exciting. What's his name?

Peter. Peter what?

I don't know. Well, what does he do?

I don't know. Where does he live?

I don't know.

Well, I certainly see why you like the guy.

No, it was the rules of the weekend.

No last names, no past, no present. Sounds like no future.

But we did exchange phone numbers.

Why, he could be anybody.

A captain of industry, a famous surgeon.

Or Freddy Krueger.

Exactly. That's why I told him my name was Tina Palladrino.

I am not going out with any man whose nails are longer than mine.

Good morning, Mr. Bell.

My, aren't you cheery this morning? I am. And you should be, too. It's the

of Parent Teacher Week.

Wonderful, wonderful.

It's my favorite time of year.

Oh, it's always a lot of fun.

Maybe for you. Everyone loves you.

Mr. Belding, you're the principal, the man everyone looks up to.

Don't sweet -talk me. I'm a hated man.

That's silly.

They respect you. No, they don't.

I am the man they were sent to when they were children, and they have never

forgotten it. Nobody wants to talk to me.

Hey, Zach, something's wrong with Screech.

Mikey, you've known him for eight years, and you just figured that out? No,

something's really wrong.

Look at him.

Okay, I'll cheer him up.

Hey, Screech, have you heard? At exactly two o 'clock today, a shower of

asteroids is going to level Cleveland.

Fine, I'll wear a helmet.

Right, Mikey.

He is strange.

Even for Screech.

Is something wrong, Lisa?

No, something's not wrong.

Everything's wrong.

I wore makeup at school.

I know you do. You look lovely.

But you don't understand. My parents will kill me if they find out I wear

makeup. What makeup?

Bless you, Miss Bliss.

Okay, everyone.

Settle down.

Settle down.

Now, today is the start of a very special week.

And I'm really looking forward to meeting all your parents.

Uh, Miss Bliss, my mom can't come.

Okay, class.

I think we're in for a treat here.

Why is that, Zach?

She went out of town.

That's it?

That's it.

See, but my dad will be here.

He's got a very serious medical condition.

The doctors are fearful of any sudden shocks, so just trash me at your own

Now that's our Zach.

descending on the grand concourse of the facility.

This is the hub, the very heartbeat of JFK.

Those of us in the trade call it the lobby.

To the right, we have the lockers. To the left, Mr. Belding.

Hello, I'm the principal.

I see you still haven't lost your touch.

It was a pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Wertmann. It's obvious who Cindy

her personality from.

Obviously from her father.

Peter.

Carrie. What are you doing here? How did you find me? Well, I didn't find you. I

mean, obviously I have, but I'm looking for a Miss Bliss.

Well, you find her.

I'm a teacher.

Surprised? Yes, delightfully.

And I've got a surprise for you.

I'm Peter Morris, Zack's dad.

What?

Oh, no.

No, just tell me you're joking.

All right, I'm joking.

I'm his brother.

Peter, please, serious.

Don't make it any more difficult than it already is.

Hey, what happened to the girl who fell overboard with me?

She's treading water as fast as she can.

Listen, if you think Zach would mind us seeing each other, he won't. He's seen

me date other women. Well, not a lot of them.

Actually, just one. We are not even going to discuss this.

We're going to discuss parent -teacher things.

All right, all right.

You win.

Of all my students, Zach has the most potential, but... I know, I know. He has

no built -in boundaries, discipline, or restraint. Would you like to go out to

dinner with me?

Yes.

I mean, no. We're here to discuss your son.

You are just like Zach.

Well, I should be. After all, I am his brother.

And I'm his teacher.

And I'm being serious.

And I can't go out with you.

I really am sorry.

Hi.

What's this?

Well, my parents are coming tonight. And I know how boring it must be to talk

about the same old things. So you prepared a list of topics.

How considerate.

Colliery's theory of nocturnal polarization.

Yeah, they're real gravity freaks.

Okay, spill it.

I told my parents I was president of the eighth grade.

Samuel. It gets worse. I'm editor of the newspaper, captain of the baseball

team, and lead baritone in the glee club.

Is that all?

Did I mention homecoming, King?

Why tell parents? Why?

You don't know what it's like, Miss Bliss.

I can't let my parents think their son's a dud.

You are not a dud.

But what you've always been is truthful.

But I can't tell them the only position I've held is glue monitor.

Glue monitor?

Believe me, it's not as glamorous as it sounds.

Your parents love you, Samuel, and you must tell them the truth.

Okay, Miss Bliss. But when they find out I'm a tenor, it'll break their hearts.

Peter, what are you doing here?

I came to pick up Zach.

Well, you'll find him on the athletic field.

I know.

That's why I came here.

Peter, didn't you hear anything I said last night?

Every word.

I told you nothing would have ever started if I'd known you were Zach's

Well, it's too late.

It's already started.

No, no, Peter.

Let me explain.

You see... Zach, this is not what it appears to be.

You mean you weren't kissing?

No. No.

We were kissing.

Dad, I know you want to make a good impression on my teachers, but you don't

have to kiss all of them.

Not all of them. Just Miss Bliss.

Well, good thing.

Coach Porius is really ugly.

Zach, this is not what you think. We met last weekend on the rafting trip.

Great.

Hey, Dad, are we still going out for burgers?

Zach, are you okay about this? Yeah, sure.

Why wouldn't I be?

Everything's fine.

Adults get so uptight.

Oh, I'm not uptight.

Are you uptight? No, no, I'm not uptight. See, we're not uptight.

I was just going to ask Miss Bliss if she wanted to come to dinner with us.

no, no, no, thank you. Oh, come on, it'll be fun.

Zach? Yeah, sure.

Then I walked in.

and saw them kissing.

It was like someone punched me in my stomach.

I couldn't breathe. It was like the worst.

Wow.

Your dad and Miss Bliss.

How would you feel if you saw your dad kiss your teacher?

I'd love it.

He'd have to pay me a fortune not to tell my mom.

You know, my dad's going to date my teacher.

It's going to cost him.

What are you talking about?

We're going to the Hot Lead concert.

Well, how are we going to cut school to get the tickets?

Hey, don't worry about it.

It's between me and Carrie.

Carrie? Since when do you call Miss Bliss Carrie?

Since I caught them making out in homeroom.

Oh,

Samuel.

Now, I saw your parents last night. I'm glad you told them the truth.

Can you believe it, Miss Bliss?

They just want me to be me.

I knew they'd react that way.

And get this. My dad told me he was Blue Monitor, too.

That's how he got stuck on my mom.

Well, I'm glad everything turned out all right.

Thanks, Miss Bliss.

You're a real pal.

If you ever want anything, mice, hamsters, gerbils, anything at all, just

Thank you, Samuel.

If I ever need a rodent, you're my man.

Okay, everyone.

Pass your homework to the front, please.

Watch this move.

Miss Bliss, I'm sorry, but I didn't get a chance to do my homework.

This is great. You did me.

The truth is, I was up late.

Zach, that is no excuse.

Well, I was talking things out with my dad, if you know what I mean.

She'll never buy that.

Okay, I understand, Zach.

Add it in tomorrow.

What have you done to Miss Bliss?

You've got to be kidding me.

How's it going, Mr. Belding? Oh, hello, Miss Bliss. I want you to know that I

took your advice, I extended myself, and I had a very pleasant talk with several

of the parents. Oh, good.

I knew it would work.

Of course, he didn't exactly tell them who he was.

I was going to tell them, but...

They started telling principal jokes.

So what did you do?

What could I do? I told a couple of zingers, too.

Actually, a couple of them weren't too bad.

Especially the one about the principal and Gumby.

You see, Gumby... Milo!

You're absolutely right. It is rather inappropriate.

Oh, come on. What was the joke?

It's a side of pokey I'd rather not discuss.

Mr. Belding, I need your advice.

Oh, good.

About school?

No. Well, sort of, but not really.

Well, it's either about school or it's personal. It can't be about both.

Well, it is.

You see, last weekend I met this man and I thought he was someone else. I mean,

other than who I thought he was.

What was he, a spy?

No, he was... He is sort of... sort of related to one of my students.

Well, who is he? Zach Morris' father?

Oh, boy.

If you'd rather not talk about this, I understand.

No, no, no. I don't mind talking about it. I'm not dating a student's father or

mother. I'm married. I am happily married.

Now, what am I going to do?

Carrie, if it makes you feel any better, I know what you're going through.

You do?

Yes.

See, you want me to tell you that everything will be all right.

I can't do that.

I really feel for you.

Would you pass the ketchup?

I'm looking.

How did it go with your parents and your friend last night?

It was all right.

It was all in my head.

I don't even know why I was ever worried.

They said I'm doing great.

And they're so happy they're taking me to Chicago for the weekend.

Wow.

I'm doing great and my parents aren't taking me anywhere.

Come to think of it, they didn't say anything about bringing me home.

You know, you are nuts.

Skip the shopping. Go straight to the shrink.

Anyone seen Zach or Mikey?

They were here for Homer.

school to buy concert tickets.

Oops.

Concert tickets, huh?

Why do people tell me things?

By any chance, Samuel, did they happen to say when they might be gracing us

their presents?

For once, I'm safe.

I really don't know.

Can't tell you anything.

But if they're on schedule, they're probably sneaking through the schoolyard

right now.

I think they deserve a proper welcome.

Nikki, watch the crabs.

Zach, we messed up.

We're really late for Bliss's class and we didn't get the tickets.

Well, don't blame me.

I didn't know hot lead was going to get the mumps.

Hey, would you just relax?

It's only Miss Bliss.

Miss Bliss?

Well, what happened to Carrie?

It's war history.

Miss Bliss, we've been looking all over for you. We looked in your class, we

looked in the cafeteria, and you weren't there.

You were in the halls the whole time. I know. You were buying constantly.

That's right.

You weren't there either.

You know how Led got the mumps?

Zach, enough.

Call your father. I want to see him after school.

Can't you wait until tonight?

Mikey, go to class. You don't have to call your parents.

I don't?

Thank you, Miss Bliss.

I'm so relieved.

So grateful.

I'll see them tonight.

So dead.

Zach, what's going on?

Nothing. I got school. I got busted. No big deal.

You're wrong. It is a big deal.

And I think it's time we talked about your father and me.

Hey, there's nothing to talk about. It's got nothing to do with me.

It's between you and him.

It's got everything to do with you. How do you feel about it, Zach?

Hey, it's fine with me if you just... Zach!

What? How do you... How did you feel when you saw us kiss?

I hated it! Look, I don't want you to be my father's girlfriend. Is that what

you want to hear?

Yes.

Yes, if that's the truth, yes.

Well, it is!

I'm sorry. It probably doesn't make any sense, but it just doesn't feel good.

As a matter of fact, it makes very good sense.

And I'm sorry I hurt you.

I tried to convince myself that it was all right to go out with your father,

deep inside I knew it was wrong.

Miss Bliss, I don't want to lose you as my teacher.

And I don't want to lose you as my student, and that's very important.

You're very special to me, Zach.

And I hope you can forgive me.

Yeah.

I can forgive you.

Miss Bliss, I think this kind of means that we can forget about me and Mikey

cutting class.

No.

Miss Bliss! Zach, don't start.

Peter.

Oh, I'm so glad you were able to come.

I feel privileged.

Two parent -teacher conferences in one week. Well, this isn't about parents and

teachers. It's about us. Am I in trouble?

Why don't you sit down?

Uh -oh, I'm in trouble.

Peter.

You're... Charming and intelligent, and you have a great sense of humor. In

fact, everything a woman could possibly want.

But? You're Zach's father.

And that makes you out of bounds for me.

Well, uh, what if I send Zach to school in Switzerland?

Look, what are my chances of changing your mind?

About... Not as good as Zach's chances are of not getting punished for cutting

school.

Oh.

Boy, I'm glad I didn't have you for a teacher.

But I'm glad Zach does.

So am I.

He's very special.

Yes.

Yes, he is.

Well...

It was nice meeting you, Miss Bliss.

Yes.

Oh, by the way, now, Zach is scheduled to graduate in a year.

If that ever happens, I hope...

Previously on Dawson's Creek... You kissed my

girlfriend. Yeah, I did. Truth is, I'd do it again.

After everything that we've been through, you just want to go back to

friends? Yeah.

Joey, if you don't understand why that can't happen, if you don't get that, you

don't get me.

Your mother and I have decided to spend some time apart.

This is a conclusion that we've reached.

Well, I can't believe that your conclusion sucks.

You're aware that his goal is to sleep with you.