Original subtitles

Miss Bliss.

What is it, Samuel?

Um, what is it called when a certain girl walks by and your knees turn to

and your stomach scrunches up like a tinfoil ball?

Well, it's either food poisoning or you're in love.

Sounds as if you're growing up, Samuel.

Well, that explains my boredom with Scooby -Doo.

Uh, Miss Bliss, how can you tell if that girl feels the same weird way about

you?

Well, you'll just know.

What?

Are there a thigh?

Yeah. A look?

Yeah, yeah.

Can't I touch the hand?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You'll just know.

Thanks, Miss Boone.

Hi,

Lisa.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Right below my chair, she won't know that I'm there. If I can hand it in

tomorrow, it'll be all right.

It's all right, cause I'm saved by the bell.

There's one thing you can count on every semester.

The classroom romance.

Here I am writing a lesson on the board.

There's my class watching me writing a lesson on the board.

Then there's Samuel, who's watching Lisa watching me write a lesson on the

board. I think you get my point.

All right.

Copy down this list of military leaders of the War of 1812.

Men. All men.

Naturally. You know, there probably wouldn't be any wars at all if it

for men, Zach.

Not so fast.

A reminder.

Your term papers on the War of 1812 are due in at the end of the week.

This will account for 20 % of your final grade.

All right, out that door is the world. Be careful.

Zach, no excuses.

Miss Bliss, you're talking to the new me.

This year's study is my thing.

Of course, how could I forget?

Just don't turn in a cup of ashes as you report on the burning of the White

House, okay?

That's a good one. You've got potential, Miss Bliss. Oh, thank you.

But it's not nearly as good as... My grandmother was reading my homework when

she spontaneously combusted.

You know, the old Zach wasn't too bad either.

Hey, Screech.

What's up?

Nothing, Zach. You know.

Same as always.

You know, I was just saying to myself, Zach, you don't spend enough time with

your old buddy Screech.

Buddy?

You said that?

It's a thicker thing.

You got a problem? I'm here.

Can't do your homework?

I'm your man.

Likewise, Zach. I'm glad you said that.

Said what?

Homework. I didn't say homework. You said likewise. Same thing.

Now, what about this paper we have to do?

Forget it, Zach. I'm not doing your paper.

Look. You do this for me, and someday when you need a favor, I'll be there.

You will?

I swear.

Hold on. What about my favor?

Name it, pal.

I want to date with Lisa.

Lisa? Lisa turtle the same Lisa who dumped SpaghettiOs on your head last

That's the one.

No Lisa.

No paper.

No problem.

And the moment our eyes met across the crowded room, I knew our fates were

sealed as one.

One what?

I don't know. There's a period there.

Well, come on. Don't stop. Not even for commas.

And our love together will soar through the pastel skies and not touch down

again until time ceases to exist.

And it's signed, your loving secret admirer, Lisa.

You remember the time I received a Valentine's card and you didn't? And

in the day, this huge card mysteriously showed up?

And then you finally admitted you sent it to yourself.

You think I wrote this to myself?

Bingo. Well, I didn't.

May my fingernails break.

You are serious.

Yo, Miss Bliss. And yo to you, too.

Oh!

Someone here carries collision insurance. Is everybody okay?

How's my hair?

She's fine.

I'm late for class.

Bye, Miss Bliss.

Oh, so you're the famous Miss Bliss.

I didn't realize legends were allowed to be so pretty.

Pretty I like. Legend I can live without.

I am Jerry Vick.

I know.

And you're making quite a name for yourself around here, too.

You're kidding. With the kids?

No. With a female faculty.

I hope I'm not interrupting anything important.

Oh, no, Mr. Belding. You just had a little accident.

Well, I don't mean to intrude, but if you two are here in the hallway, that

means there's no one in your classrooms except unsupervised young minds, and

that is a dangerous no -no. Okay? Okay.

Well, it was very nice to meet you.

These are yours.

Thanks. I hope I bump into you.

And I hope I run into you.

You know what I mean.

I know what you mean.

And when I see you coming, I'll honk.

I mean, I'll honk.

Simmons B -plus.

Simmons B -plus.

Lewin.

Lewin.

Lewin.

Do you know what came in, Al?

Flew in Kowalski? That's it. A plus for the name, C minus for the grade.

Our fates were sealed as one.

Tina? It's hot!

Our eyes met across a crowded room.

The pastel skies.

Your loving, secret admirer.

How did you get this?

Carrie, someone sent you a love letter.

Lena, this isn't mine.

Well, it was in your papers.

Well, it wasn't in my papers at the end of class.

And they never left my house until I got home.

Except for the accident.

Accident? What accident?

Oh, it was nothing. I just bumped into someone in the hallway.

Who? I just bumped into Jerry Vick. Aha!

Jerry Vick.

big deal out of nothing. He just bumped into me, told me I was a legend, and

told me I was pretty.

I wonder what he looks like.

Well, he's probably tall and short.

Long, brownish blonde, curly, straight hair with purple and gold. weaved

the bald spots.

So shiny.

Mine's gone to mush.

Go ahead.

Come on.

Hello, Mr. Vick.

Oh, hi. It's Jerry.

Would you like to join me?

Oh, thank you.

Go ahead.

Dean, I'm not here.

I know we've just met.

I think she did.

What I was trying to say was I'd given this serious thought.

Serious thinking. I gave that up years ago. I guess that's why I'm a

Now I'm sure of it.

Now I'm gone.

Jerry, it's like this.

I don't usually believe in fishing off the company pier.

What are you trying to tell me?

I think what I'm trying to say is... I don't see why we couldn't go out when

you're no longer subbing at JFK.

That's quite an invitation.

Can I bring my wife?

Married? Happily married.

Happily married?

What about the letter?

What letter?

The letter you obviously didn't send me.

Exactly what shade of red am I?

Don't be embarrassed. I'm really quite flattered.

Well, I'm glad I could make somebody's day.

Excuse me.

It must have been some letter.

Look at Lisa.

Got her daydreaming.

A million miles away.

You know, Screech, I should be bottled.

That letter was good.

Absolutely. Her soul set ablaze by the words of her secret admirer.

Where are you going?

To call my woman to burning fire.

No.

I think there's a rule prohibiting that during school hours.

It's time to make my move.

No, it's time for you to trust me.

Again? For how long? Long enough for you to finish my report and for me to turn

up the heat with another letter to Lisa. I can't wait.

Enjoy it.

Love is pain.

Tina, Jerry didn't send the letter.

He didn't?

Then who?

Was anybody else around when you dropped the papers?

Yes, but... Oh, no, it can't be.

Who? Who?

Belding.

Can't believe Belding.

Hand me that love letter. Too creative, huh?

No, he's... He's Belding. He'd never do anything like this.

Miss Bliss.

I'm out of here.

Make him suffer. Tina, I'll never forgive you for this.

So, Mr. Belding, how are you?

Well, to be perfectly honest, I've been very, very lonely.

Lonely? My wife's in Vermont visiting her sister.

Now, Miss Bliss, I believe we have something to talk about. When's she

back? Not for weeks.

Weeks? Yes, weeks, but you're changing the subject on me.

Oh, what subject was that, Mr. Bell? You know what I'm talking about.

No, I don't. You haven't responded to my notes. Oh, Mr. Bell, I can't do that.

Why not?

I'm not that kind of woman.

What kind of woman does it take to submit requisition forms?

Requisition forms?

Oh, I am that kind of woman.

Good, good.

Then I'll pick them up in your classroom after school. After school?

Oh, no, no, they'll, um, they'll be ready sooner than that. Uh, during

when the students are still there.

Fine.

And the glowing embers of a once -burning heart slowly dim for another

will be spent alone.

Gee, guys, I have lost her.

If there is to be a future, meet me tomorrow after school in the cafeteria.

Now this is hot.

Really hot. She's going to burn.

Hey, not so fast. Where's my paper?

The deal was your paper for a date with Lisa.

That is not fair.

It never is in matters of the heart.

All right.

Burns.

Tom, we could just keep the noise down. We could get started as soon as I finish

these requisition forms.

Blowing embers, burning hearts.

What could have been?

Nicky, I'm losing him. The guy's a loser.

He's afraid to step out from behind his typewriter.

Nicky, maybe he's shy.

He's asked me to...

Meet him today after school in the cafeteria.

Cafeteria? How romantic.

What's the matter?

Was the boiler room booked?

I think we'll just take this out of circulation during class.

Miss Bliss.

Now, last night's assignment was to read the chapter on the Battle of New

Orleans.

Zach, would you tell us about it, please?

Well, it was in New Orleans, and what a battle it was.

Well,

thank you.

Miss Bliss.

Oh, Mr. Bell.

You know why I'm here, don't you?

Yes. So?

So.

So.

So. So, where are my requisition forms?

Oh, they're on my desk.

We're asking Zach about the Battle of New Orleans, and he didn't know the

answer.

Then again, this morning, I fell off the monkey bars and hit my head.

Is this math class, Mom?

reason why they should go any further.

I'm very sorry. Oh, wait a minute now. There's no reason for apologies.

You're absolutely right.

After all, you work very closely with somebody for a few years. You get to

comfortable with them and many, many times you can mistake that closeness for

something else.

Exactly. You know, I'm glad you understand.

And just between you and me, Miss Bliss, this type of thing has happened to me

before.

All right, so I was in the Army at the time.

How you doing, Miss Bliss?

Mr. Belty?

What are you two guys talking about?

The school.

Milo. You know, I've been here for three years, and I think we have the best

darn junior high school in all of Indianapolis.

You know, if I had kids, I'd want them to go here.

Of course, I'd have to get married.

Actually, first I'd have to get a date, so if you find a phone number... Milo?

See, we were talking privately.

I know, I know.

I'm gone.

But I'm going to find out about this eventually.

The pipes have ears.

You mind me to have those fixed?

Where were we? Oh, oh, yes, no.

Miss Bliss, I am very, very fond of you as a teacher.

But that's as far as it goes. I'm sorry.

Mr. Belding? Yes?

What in the world are you talking about?

The letter.

Right.

This letter. No.

Oh, this letter.

Let me see that.

I didn't write this.

I didn't write that.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh what?

I think I have a pretty good idea who's behind this.

Who?

Why should I tell you? You just dumped me.

If I do, I want to be in the cafeteria waiting when my prince arrives.

Well, how do I look? You look great.

That's it?

What do you mean, that's it?

I just told you, you look great.

Looking great isn't enough.

I need to look fabulous.

Okay, you look fabulous.

You don't mean it.

the best I have ever seen you. I knew it. Wish me luck.

You wanted to see us?

Sit down, boys.

Now, is there anything either of you want to tell me before I grade your term

papers?

Nope.

Samuel?

Um, what exactly do you mean by... Nope.

I wrote Zach the screech.

Sorry, I just can't help myself.

And what did Zach promise to give you in return?

Nothing, I swear.

He promised me a date with Lisa.

Sorry, you know I can't stand torture.

Lisa, of course, she was there too.

And that's where these love letters come into play?

Where'd you get those?

It's not important.

What is important is they were typed on the same typewriter as your term papers.

They were just harmless letters.

Maybe harmless to you.

But you've no idea the embarrassment they've caused.

I'm sorry, Miss Bliss.

Zach, the cute smile and apologies aren't going to get you through life.

Neither is taking advantage of people.

Can I at least have another chance?

I'll do my own report.

I know you will.

Unfortunately, I'm grading this paper a zero.

A zero?

That's the worst you can get. Can I at least have an F?

Zero.

As for you, Samuel, I can't let you go unpunished.

I'm lowering your grade to a D.

That'll be all, boys.

Thank you, Miss Bliss.

Didn't Miss Bliss mean by you taking advantage of people?

She meant I took advantage of you.

You did?

Well, kind of.

That's why I signed all those letters to your secret admirer.

Why? So Lisa wouldn't find out it was you and Scream.

Plus, I wanted my paper first.

You did take advantage of me.

Yeah, I did.

I'm sorry.

Just forget it.

These last few days, they've been pretty good.

I mean, I've been in love.

A great feeling.

Where are you going?

To the cafeteria to meet Winslow.

Didn't you hear what I said? She's not going to go out with you. I have to find

out for myself.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering if Zach Morris was wrong.

You know, Screech, I'm not such a bad guy after all.

Thanks, Zach.

Hey, Zach.

You mind if I tell the other guys you said that?

Yeah.

Go ahead and tell them.

Nah, they never believed me anyway.