Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group

and U.S. department of education

Ah...

Ah...ah...

Ahchoo!

Whoa. Totally sorry, dude.

Like, it's no problem, really.

[Whimpering]

[Bell dings]

Ha ha ha ha!

What's up, dude? Ha ha ha!

Can I help you?

Uh, right.

Uh...uh...

Uh...

You must be here for the test study.

Yeah, right. Ha ha ha! Right.

Sign in on the clipboard, and we'll call you.

Yo, dude, do we get paid, you know, in advance?

Why don't you take a seat,

and we'll call you, dude.

Yeah. Ha ha!

Right, dude. Ha ha ha!

[Sniffing]

[Smacking and gulping]

Mmm!

Ha ha!

Ugh! Puke-a-rama!

Number 11, number 11.

The doctor will see you now.

Phew!

Eww.

Well, now, let's see.

Do you know why you're here?

Well, it's because, like, because, like,

because, like, I'm a total germophobe.

[Sobbing]

Now, now. Admitting that you have a fear of germs

is the first step to recovery.

Now, you realize that this study is quite radical.

Oh, totally radical.

Then you're positive you want to go through with it?

Totally. I'm so sure.

Very well.

Nurse, would you please let in subject "b"

for test case study number 11?

Nurse: Right away, doctor.

Hey, where's the party?

What's that?

That is your test partner.

For the next two weeks,

you must interact with your partner on a daily basis.

Can you do that?

With that? No way.

Can't do it. Totally can't. Uh-uh.

Doctor: You must, if you ever hope to be even partially cured.

No. Like, no, like, no, like, no, like, no!

I'm sorry, I can't. I just can't.

How do you expect to get over your problem

if you can't get past even the first steps?

Well, doc, it's, like, like...

Oh, I'm sorry. You're just so totally gnarly.

I can't help it. You-you're dirty and greasy,

and you totally gag me with a spoon.

Uh, you're really nice.

I think you're awesome, but you're just grody to the Max.

I'm sorry, doctor. This test case just isn't gonna work.

I'm so sorry!

I'll be seeing you around, ok?

Like, coming!

[Gasp]

It's you. What are you doing here?

Well, it's like this.

See, um, I was thinking about your problem.

It's totally bogus.

That clinic is bad news.

What you need is a real situation.

No white lab coats, no tests,

no experiments.

So I was thinking...

I was hoping you'd come with me

to the annual new year's dance-a-thon.

The last couple to remain dancing this year

wins 8 months' supply

of cheeks-so-soft toilet paper

or 200 rolls-- whichever comes first.

And a $500 gift certificate

to happy pappy's totally awesome

chicken and seafood house in the valley.

What do you say?

You did this, like, all for me?

Like, I'd love to, totally.

[Both laughing]

Hey, dudes and dudettes!

Welcome to the totally killer annual new year's dance-a-thon!

Now, I know you're all majorly excited

to dance until the new year.

And don't forget-- last couple standing

wins the whole awesome shebang!

Ok, kids, get ready!

Good luck.

You, too.

Are you having a tubular time?

Oh, I think this is the most tubular time I've ever had.

That's right!

Look, they're the last ones besides us.

We might actually, like, win?

Hey, dudes and dudettes!

It's just a few minutes till midnight!

So let's bring the music down just a bit.

But don't stop dancing, or you're totally bumming!

Oh, no! We have to, like, slow dance!

Like, so?

Oh, we have to, like, touch.

Emcee: Hurry up, couples!

Start dancing, or you will be so disqualified!

Oh, no. What are we gonna do? We're gonna lose.

Oh, what a total bummer! We won't win!

What are those?

I thought these might come in handy.

Crowd: 10, 9, 8...

Oh, we've won!

In, like, more ways than one.

Crowd: 3, 2, 1! Happy new year!

See? Remember? That's why. Now, give 'em back!

[Clock ticking]

How about taking your turn...Today?!

Mmm...oh!

Upper!

That's 24 points!

Roughly.

Both: I scream!

You scream!

We all scream for ice cream!

Mom: Hey, are you cheating?

Dad: Now, what on earth would make you think that?

Then what's this letter

I found hidden in your pocket?

Cheating?

A letter?

Well, explain yourself this time!

I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

What? I don't believe you!

Passion? Passion?!

This is what that letter was all about,

just so you can have passion?

Well, call it whatever you want.

All this means is that I'm gonna be the winner in the end,

and you're gonna be left high and dry.

Dexter, what are we gonna do?

It's none of our business.

Ha! I'm not losing out on this one.

You're the cheater here.

Well, if that's how you like to play

your little games, then fine.

We're through.

[Tiles rattling]

What are you doing?

I'm packing it up.

Like I said, if that's how you like to play the game,

then you're going to have to play it alone.

I'm leaving.

Oh, yeah?

Well, how about the last time I caught you cheating?

How easily you seem to forget who dealt the cards then.

That was different.

I told you that the Jack of spades was wild.

Who is Jack?

Whoever he is, he must be more exciting than dad.

Hey, what are you trying to do--kill me with that thing?

Mom, don't do it!

Mom, stop!

No, mom!

We can work this out!

Don't do it!

Do not do it!

We can work this...

Out?

Oh, kids, of course we can work this out.

Sometimes we just let our competitive nature get the best of us.

Besides, it's just a game, right?

Both: Heh, heh, heh. Right.

Man: Die, die, die!

Die, stinky germs!

Naval hygiene is crucial to the defense of our great country.

Isn't that right, soldier?

Sir, yes, sir!

Computer, report.

Computer: Good morning, general admission.

My sensors are reading a loss of power in all sectors, sir.

Our satellites indicate an unidentified force on earth

that seems to be draining all of our power, sir.

Unidentified force on earth? Obviously it's aliens.

Sir, yes, sir, obviously, sir!

Indeed.

Using a ground base here on earth,

these stinky, filthy aliens have hatched an evil plan

to contaminate the military with filthy germs

so they can take over the world, right?

Sir, yes, sir! Right!

Computer.

Yes, sir.

Commence operation.

Destroy the evil, stinky aliens.

[Alarm buzzing]

General: Well, whoever or whatever it is

that's sucking up our power is in for a big surprise.

Excellent.

We have full power and optimum regulating charge.

Microwaves are a go. Check.

Temperature is just right, fluids all check.

Binary code and teleports are all functioning.

Rolling bowling ball rolling, check.

Spinning sprinkler spinning, check.

All systems are go for 530 nanometers of high-yielding

fermented glauconite anti-cholesteric brain power vitamin facial cream--

makes me smart and beautiful.

[Sniffs]

Smells a bit stinky.

Maybe it needs more salt.

What the--

Dexter, your room is stinky. You'd better clean it up,

or else we'll have to put you up for adoption.

[Sniffing] Hmm.

I guess I have been neglecting the lab lately.

[Croaking like frog]

Computer: Warning, warning, warning...

Computer, what is it? What is intruding?

Good morning, Dexter.

My radar is picking up faint readings

of an incoming unidentified fighting force.

Who--who is it?

Um, hello!

Unidentified, as in I don't know.

I'd better have a closer listen

with my supersensitive headphones.

[Static]

Attention, men. This is your general.

We are about to encounter the evil, filthy aliens' ground base.

I repeat,

[static] We are-- the evil, filthy aliens' gr--

oh, no. The evil, filthy aliens' gr!

They're coming! They're coming!

Aah! My eyes. My eyes! They burn!

[Aircraft approaching]

[Boat whistle blowing]

Man: We're going in.

The chickens are in the soup.

Dexter: Oh, no!

Boy, this place stinks.

Ugh. I can smell it through my mask.

Somebody light a match!

General: Hold your ground, men. Filthy, stinking--

they are here-- the evil, filthy aliens' gr!

Oh, no! That alien is heading toward my freezer,

where I keep my rare biologically-engineered Jurassic eggs.

Looks like we found the aliens' nest, sir.

Aah!

Aah! Aah! Germs! Germs!

Get 'em off! Get 'em off!

Nooooo!

No filthy alien is going to blow up my eggs!

Incoming!

Ohh!

Hee-ya!

Surrounded.

Aah! It stinks! Aah!

It seems that the aliens have an aversion to stinky.

[Gasps]

That's it.

Let's rock!

Smell ya later, filthy, evil aliens' gr.

Aah! Oh, that smells!

It smells!

Ohhh! Ohhh!

Aah! My nose! It burns!

[Troops screaming]

General, we're under severe stink attack. We've got to pull out!

[Troops moaning]

Looks like I've defeated them all.

General: Not quite!

You filthy alien!

Filthy?

What the--

you're not a filthy alien.

You're just a little boy.

Yes, and you are just a grown man, a grown general,

whose whole army was defeated by this here little boy.

Blast it! You've got a point there.

If word gets out that the Navy was defeated by a little boy,

we'll be the laughingstock of the world.

Yes, you will.

Listen, kid, can you keep this a secret?

Well, on two conditions.

And they would be?

You guys have got to keep my laboratory a secret, ok?

What laboratory?

Yes, indeed. What laboratory?

[Both laughing]

And the second condition?

Well, this place is a mess,

and I need it not to be a mess, if you know what I mean.

I hear you loud and clear.

Excellent job, general!

This place is spotless.

You're darn tooting, kid.

Well, kid, it's been swell.

General: All right, men, listen up!

Let's return to the main base for a nice, hot bath.

[Troops talking at once]

Dexter, I hope that you remembered to clean your room.

Oh, yeah, dad. I cleaned house.

Enter at your own peril past the vaulted door

where impossible things

may happen

that the world's never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory

♪ lives the smartest boy you've ever seen ♪

♪ but Dee Dee blows

♪ his experiments

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom while things go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab

captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group

and U.S. department of education

captioned by the national captioning institute

--www.ncicap.org--