Original subtitles

[Thunder]

[Evil laughter]

Oh, yeah.

How did I become so deliciously evil?

Oh, yeah, I remember.

The seeds of my glorious villainy

were sown a long, long time ago.

Aah.

It all seems but a faint and distant revery now.

But as I recall, the basis of my evil

can be traced back to my birth.

Back to the tranquil village in which we lived.

Ah, the tranquil village of flowertopia,

an idealized world of peace and Harmony,

a place where man and beast live side by side,

a place where unity and goodness prevail,

a place where even the wind smelt of happiness.

Bleah! It makes me sick just to think about it!

But there amongst the fragrant flowers and radiant landscape,

I became the firstborn love child

of wind bear and ocean bird.

A.k.a. Mother and father.

That's it, sweetheart.

Find your center,

breathe, and release.

Mandark: And with that last maternal exhalation,

I, mandark, monarch of darkness,

came to be.

Oh, wind bear,

isn't he just the most beautiful creature ever?

Why, he's as groovy as moon dust,

and as exquisite as golden starlight.

He's as pure and lovely

as our terrestrial sphere itself.

With the head to match.

Therefore I, wind bear, shall bestow unto you

a name beyond the conforms of society.

And I, ocean bird, request a name

without preconceived gender connotations.

A name that's whispered softly

through the canyon winds.

You shall be named...

Susan.

Waah! Waah!

Mandark: And so by some cruel and twisted cosmic joke,

I, mandark, crown prince of dark forces,

had been born into a world of warm-hearted tenderness.

I was the direct genetic descendant

of gentle, loving, happy pacifists.

But no amount of compassion and humanity

could dampen my true nature within!

[Evil laughter]

As the size of my colossal cranium increased,

so did my ever-evolving evil intellect.

[Evil laughter]

Mandark: And even in my most infantile state of mind,

I knew there was something else

beyond the peaceful life my parents provided me.

Then suddenly,

it seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

Its icy-cool mechanical casing,

its complex composite of twisted circuitry,

its tangled web of expertly engineered cybernetics.

This object,

with its calculated, methodically designed exactness,

this object was a revelation.

It was a part of me.

It was...It was...

Science!

I knew that if I could only master

this thing called science,

and combine it with my natural wickedness,

I could control the world!

But my plans for total global domination

would have to wait,

for it would seem my parents

had a different idea for my development.

Waah! Waah!

Yes, the days of my infancy were filled

with one tedious activity after another.

And all of them so very, very UN-sciency.

Happy annual name day celebration!

As the guest of honor,

Susan gets to wear the festival wreath.

Oh, how precious!

And I bet I know who wants some

tofu squares and rice cakes.

No!!

No more tofu!

No more flowers!

I want meat!

And I want science!!

Oh, wind bear, whatever are we to do

about our little Susan's unnatural request

for beef and technology?

Rest easy, ocean bird.

This is probably just a stage

he's going through.

Well, perhaps we have neglected

some of the boy's needs.

Both: Hmmm.

Let's drop out!

Groovy!

Mandark: So we packed up the incense and herbal teas

and set out to see the world,

in the hope of my parents that the experience

would squelch my dark desires.

[Coyote howls]

Yes, we traveled the world over, and then some,

but it made no difference to me.

I still longed to commit

acts of science in the name of evil.

But trapped in the prison of mere boyhood,

and forced to endure every whim of my parents,

I was afraid I was never going to get the chance.

Eventually our travels came to an end,

and my parents decided it was time

to take root once again.

So we settled down in a nice little community

in a nice little home

in complete nowheresville.

Little did I know I was about to encounter

the moment that would alter my life forever.

[Humming]

Yes, that should do it.

And once again,

thanks to my magnificent and astounding genius,

science can hold its head up proudly.

Let's turn it on!

Ah! Oh, hey, what happened?

Hey, what gives?

Hey!

Hey!

Science. Wow.

Wow. Mmm.

Hey, hey, hey.

What is that that you are doing there?

Stop that, stop that.

This here is very complicated

high-tech scientific type of stuff

of which you cannot possibly comprehend.

I love science.

It's just that my parents, well,

and the moving around, and the love, and--

yes, yes,

I am sure your life story

is endlessly entertaining.

But if you'll excuse me,

I, Dexter, boy genius,

have much work to be doing.

So to you, I bid adieu.

Good-bye, little girl.

Oh, I'm not a little girl.

I'm a little boy, just like you.

Hmm. What is the name by which you are called?

Uh, my name is...

Susan.

[Laughing loudly]

Mandark, voice-over: Oh, that laugh,

that annoying chuckle, that irritating chortle.

At that moment, something within me snapped.

And it was as if all the evil

that had been suppressed inside of me for so many years

had suddenly been unleashed

to every fiber of my organic structure,

and I could feel the power.

I knew what must be done.

I was going to build the biggest, most astounding,

most incredibly evil scientific laboratory ever!

Putting anything that insignificant Dexter had ever made to shame!

Voice-over: But to achieve my goal, I could no longer be

a long-haired girly-named boy anymore.

No!

Voice-over: I would assume a new, evil identity.

And now I only needed a new name,

a name to match the darkness that flowed through me,

a name that told of the man I knew I could be.

I was now--

mandark!

And my sole purpose,

to be the greatest, most evillest boy genius scientist

the world has ever known.

And to destroy Dexter's laboratory!

[Evil laughter]

And today is my day!

The future is now!

[Evil laughter]

Wind bear: Ahem.

Now Susan, you know how we feel

about using implements of destruction.

My name is mandark.

No, it's Susan.

Now put that away and come join

our bonding chant ritual, Susan.

Yes, mother.

[Sighs]

I'll get you one day, Dexter.

One day.

Ok, let's see how p-290 and p-291 are doing.

[Electronic beeping]

Looking good, guys.

Now for the l-2-4-7.

Hmm. Your productivity has increased 72%!

You go, girl.

Ok, next robot for review.

Ah, the q-t-411.

Be be be bop.

Be be be be be zu zu.

Wow, q-t. Much better than yesterday.

Thank you, Dexter, sir.

[Glass shatters]

Ooh. What do we have here?

Well, see you later, q-t. Bye-bye.

Um, Dexter, sir,

I'm really sorry.

[Smash]

[Screaming]

Let's see. Hmm, who have we got left?

The fast response executing droid and the m.A.R.-10.

Just two more robots to check, then sleepy d checks into bed.

[Music playing]

Yeah! Yeah!

Oh, boy! Shake it, me.

Shake it! Yeah!

Woo! Yeah!

Yeah! Woo!

Yeah!

Excuse me.

Hello?

Excuse me!

[Music turns off]

Whoa! Hey, what the...?

Who turned off the...?

Oh, hi, cutie.

Why aren't you two working?

To set the record straight,

I was. I was working.

No, you were dancing.

See, i--i can tell that you're the type of guy

that needs some reassurance

that work is getting done.

Am I right here? Yeah, I am.

Let me just start by saying that Fred and I

have been working the whole time.

But what happened, you see,

was our tools broke from being overworked.

So we got this guy to get us some new tools.

So, in the meantime, Fred and I

have been on this really UN-unneeded work break.

[Beeping]

Those must be your tools.

No, tiny. Don't you remember

I said tools, not-- not drinks. Tools.

Actually, m.A.R.-10,

you did ask tiny to bring you a drink,

then you asked me if I wanted one

and I said yes,

because you know how parched I get

after I dance.

Well, you two are stupid.

No, all 3 of you are stupid.

And if your cute little attitudes and productivity

do not change by the time I get back,

you will be 3 little cubes of steel.

See you guys later.

I'm outta here.

M.a.r.-10? M.a.r.-10, wait up!

[Beeping]

[Crash]

What do you mean you're out of here?

You think I'm gonna stick around here

and get turned into a cube of steel?

Ha ha ha. Right.

You could try working.

Yeah, good idea, Fred.

I'll see you tomorrow morning.

Fred: What the heck is that crazy thing?

Oh, it's my escape tunnel, Fred.

My very own darned escape tunnel.

Where's it go?

It goes to freedom, Fred.

It goes to america.

In america, the streets are paved with parties,

and there never is a party where you can't find m.A.R.-T.

Oh, I have to remember that.

See you later, Dexter's lavatory.

Pull the chain, pal.

Oh, guys. It's beautiful.

Oh, you gotta check this out.

Fred: What? What is it?

Is it freedom?

What does it look like?

Well, hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Let me see. Let me see.

Oh, whoa!

Freedom looks like a woman.

Move over, move over. Let me!

Holy moly!

Look at those curves.

Look at those lines.

She has got to be Italian.

Oh, dear me, she's hot.

Hubba, hubba, hubba.

Oh, I love you.

[Car alarm sounding]

What the...?

Yeah! She wants to party!

Quiet!

Ah, that's my car!

Get away from my car!

We're history.

You come back here.

I'm-a calling the cops.

I'm-a gonna get you so bad.

[Tires screech]

Move it, dum-dum. Move it!

[Horn honking]

Now i'm-a gonna call the cop of your butts. Ha ha.

Hello, cops? You get-a these guys.

Car 72? Calling car 72.

Yeah, here chief.

Whoa!

[Crash] [Siren stalling]

[Laughing]

Classic. Whoa!

[Chattering]

Well, this looks like a fun crowd.

Whoa, yeah.

Oh ho ho. Yeah.

Ok. Righty, righty, righty.

Hey, sweetie. You wanna dance?

[Glass shatters, silence]

You think I'm a woman?

I think you got yourself some trouble.

Let's get 'em, boys.

Oh, ha ha ha.

You know, it looks like

there has been some miscommunication here.

Just like you guys, you see, I'm a biker.

I'm also a comedian,

and that's why it's funny, you see,

that I called you a girl,

because it is so obvious that you're not.

That was not a funny joke, m.A.R.-10.

Thank you, Fred.

Listen, I am with you guys, down with the man, I say.

Let's just ride our bikes into the night.

What do you say, fellas? Huh?

Freedom blowing through hair,

the excitement of maybe a coyote,

or hey, a rabbit--

stealing our food as we sing by the campfire.

Whoa. You are a big boy, aren't you?

Could I borrow this for just a second?

Thank you.

Yes, gentlemen, it's true.

I do play the guitar.

And as exciting as that may sound to you,

there is one thing more exciting.

And that is--

♪ riding down the highway

♪ wind blowing through my hair ♪

Fred: ♪ man, we'll put our shades on ♪

♪ the sun could give a glare ♪

♪ the sun could give a glare ♪

Come on, harmonize.

♪ The sun could give a glare

all righty, now that I've wet your whistle, so to speak,

with that musical interlude I just gave you,

and I know you're kind of excited about that,

so, what I really think we should do

is find the energy trapped down deep inside those leather chaps of yours

and get this party going.

So, why don't we all just stand up--

that's it, stand up. Stand up.

Oh, now you in the back,

I see you all sad and scared and timid.

"Oh, what will my friends think?"

Stand up!

It's gonna be ok. Everyone's gonna like you.

Everyone's gonna like me.

We're all going to have a really good time,

but what I'd like you to do is follow what I say,

and the band behind me, follow what I'm gonna do,

and we're gonna have a really good time. So...

♪ Put your wrists in the air

♪ rev around like you just don't care ♪

♪ swing your hips like you do when you jog ♪

♪ now look at y'all

♪ you're riding that hog

♪ yeah

♪ you're riding that hog

♪ you're riding that hog, get it, Fred ♪

♪ oh, oh, oh

♪ you're riding that hog

♪ oh, yes

♪ ride on down the highway

♪ you're riding that hog

where the heck are my robots?

♪ Oh, ho, ho

♪ you're riding that hog

♪ ride that hog

♪ oh, oh, oh

♪ you're riding that hog

♪ smoking

♪ you're riding that hog

♪ I can't get off, I hear sirens ♪

♪ you're riding that hog

♪ yeah, just can't stop

Dexter: Ooh, there you are!

Where have you been?

I've been worried sick.

Get inside of this robot right now!

But... But...

No buts!

Say good-bye to your little friends

and get in here this instant!

Well, we gotta go now.

Yeah, bye, guys.

[Jeering]

You 3 are in so much trouble when we get home...

Well, you know, we wouldn't have left

if you weren't such a slave driver.

Oh, you could be right.

I know, you guys only have to work 12 hours a day,

but twice as hard.

Yeah! Yeah!

I can live with that.

Fred: Ooh, can I drive?

Dexter: Get your hands off the controls.

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

captioned by the national captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org--

♪ you're riding that hog

♪ yeah

♪ you're riding that hog

♪ you're riding that hog, get it, Fred ♪

♪ oh, oh, oh

♪ you're riding that hog

♪ oh, yes

♪ ride on down the highway

♪ oh, oh, oh

♪ you're riding that hog

♪ you got it, you got it, you got it ♪

♪ you're riding that hog

♪ oh, yes

♪ oh, oh, oh

♪ you're riding that hog

♪ what I say