Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

Mom: Oh, gosh. Look at us.

We sure stuffed our faces at that luau.

Dee Dee: Hey, my hula dancing lessons!

You caught on so fast, dear.

Dad: Hey, remember that scenic helicopter ride.

Dexter: That was cool.

Oh, your poor dad.

Hey, what's that picture doing in here?

[Nervously] Uh, hey, look, we're in love.

Ah, what fond memories.

If only I could remember where we went.

Dad, we went to Hawaii, remember?

And look, Dexter,

here's where you fell into that hole.

Boy, it took hours to get you out of there.

That is because stupid Dee Dee pushed me in.

Uh-uh. You fell in.

You were still wearing your leg brace.

Remember, clumsy child?

Was not.

Was to. Was not.

Was to. Was not.

Was to. Was not.

Kids, it's been so long, who could possibly remember?

Isn't it funny how much we forget as we get older?

Remember last year when I lost my keys

and had to climb through the doggy door for 3 weeks?

And I locked the keys in the car

for the third time this month.

Yeah? Well, yesterday,

I left for work without my pants.

Mom: And today,

I wrote "1986" on all of my checks.

Well, a lot of stuff happened in 1986.

What were we talking about?

All right, kids, upstairs.

Time to finish homework.

Mom: Would you like some coffee, dear?

Sure, honey.

Chocolate chip or vanilla?

[Sighs]

What a thorough disappointment.

I had no idea my parents were so stupid.

They're not stupid.

They just can't remember that far back.

That is no excuse.

Why, I have no trouble at all

remembering way back to...

Back to...Back to...

No!

My infancy is cloudy.

I cannot remember my first baby steps, my first solid food.

Your first dirty diaper?

It is all a blur.

Is it possible?

Could new information going into my brain be pushing out the old?

Hey, Dexter.

What? I am busy.

Bet you haven't seen my dance of the fanciful unicorn.

It goes like this.

♪ La la Lee

♪ la la la Lee

♪ la la la Lee

stop it! Stop it!

I already have a thousand memories of that stupid dance.

Ooh, what does this button do?

Stop, stop, stop! You are erasing vital information.

You must leave at once.

You are wreaking havoc on my brain.

Hey, want to hear a funny joke?

Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Hey, how did you know?

Trust me, I do.

Computer, time to get to work!

Success!

With this new device,

my memories will be preserved.

I'll be able to store

all my precious thoughts and experiences.

I will never have to worry about a lost memory again.

Cheers.

Computer, begin memory backup.

Computer: Memory backup recording.

What?

Mandark!

Surprise, Dexter.

What are you doing here?

I have come to take your memories away.

You'll have to fight me for them.

My pleasure.

Hyah! Hyah!

[Crashing]

I'll get you, Dexter.

You and which army?

Dexter!

Mandark!

Vic...

...tory.

Now to find my glasses...

...and get back to business.

Hey, I defeated you. I defeated you.

I knocked you out. I knocked you out.

No, you didn't. No, you didn't.

Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?

We're just going to have to fight again fair and square.

My pleasure. Hey, look, falling stars.

Where? Here.

I'd say that's pretty fair and square.

And now to retrieve what I came here for.

Once I download Dexter's scientific memories,

I'll know everything Dexter knows.

I'll be smarter than Dexter, more creative than Dexter.

And I'll be able to destroy Dexter's lab once and for all.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Computer: Downloading.

Look, honey, Dexter has done it.

Dexter, you are unbelievable.

Our son--he made this all by himself.

And he's so young.

Pure genius, boy.

Ha ha! The moment I've been waiting for.

I am so proud of you, Dexter.

You've made quite a creation.

Come to mommy, Dex.

Huh? Where are they taking you? I want to see the creation.

Mom and dad: Hooray for Dexter!

He made potty all by himself.

Dexter! Dexter!

What is this prepubescent garbage? Where's the science?

Look at our son-- the scientist.

Yeah, that's more like it.

Dear, do you think he's too young to go trick-or-treating?

Nonsense.

Son, do you like trick-or-treating with Dee Dee?

Uh-huh, uh-huh. I like candy.

Dexter, do you like your scientist costume?

What is a scientist?

What is this? What's going on here?

Dexter, I want you to meet somebody.

It's your great-great-aunt dextermina.

Hiya, Sonny.

[Dexter crying]

Oh, my.

Oh, don't cry, Dexter. It'll be all right.

[Chuckles nervously]

Dexter, stop crying now.

Hey, little bro, give your sister a big kiss.

Dee Dee.

Dexter: Time out? I hate time out.

Look what I washed for you, Dexter.

Blankie!

This is nonsense-- senseless baby trash.

Does dexie-poo like his bathie-wathie time?

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Dex, I just thought up this new dance--

the fanciful unicorn.

I am a baby. I am a baby. I am a baby.

No! Where are

the inventions, experiments, lab secrets?

Get your own doll. No.

Give it. No.

Dexie-wexie! Who loves dexie-wexie?

That's right. Mommy-wommy.

The fanciful unicorn-- I just thought it up.

Uh, honey, Dexter is sick again.

Dexter: Teddy, I love you the bestest,

but it is a secret. Shh!

Look, Dex, a brand-new dance.

I call it the fanciful unicorn.

Oh, my head. I can't take it.

It's just a little boo-boo, Dex.

Mom, Dexter is wearing my tights again.

All: ♪ happy birthday

♪ dear Dexter

the fanciful unicorn dance. Have I ever shown it to you?

Dex, we all have to move up to big boy underwear

sooner or later.

Aah! I can't take this anymore.

All this garbage has been burned into my brain forever.

My head is ruined. It's full of nonsense, trash.

I hate this place. I hate Dexter.

I never want to live another one of his memories as long as I live!

What is he in such a rush for?

Didn't want to fight

Dexter--boy genius again, did he?

What a baby.

Mandark: Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Birds: Tweet tweet tweet. Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet.

Tweet tweet tweet. Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet.

Buzz buzz buzz. Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz.

Buzz buzz buzz. Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ohh ohh ohh. Ohh ohh ooh ohh ohh.

Ohh ohh ohh. Ohh ohh ooh ohh ohh.

Brush brush brush. Brush brush brush brush brush.

Brush brush brush. Brush brush brush brush brush.

Whoosh whoosh whoosh. Whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh.

Pop pop pop. Pop pop pop pop pop.

Pop pop pop. Pop pop pop pop pop.

♪ Chew, chew, chew chew, chew, chew, chew, chew ♪

[Gulps]

♪ Chew, chew, chew chew, chew, chew--uh! ♪

Aah aah aah! Aah aah aah aah aah!

Aah aah aah! Aah aah aah aah aah!

Cough cough cough! Cough cough cough cough cough!

Cough cough cough! Cough cough cough cough cough!

Brush brush brush. Brush brush brush brush brush.

Brush brush brush. Brush brush brush brush brush.

Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep beep beep.

Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep beep beep.

Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep beep beep.

Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep beep beep.

Shift shift shift. Shift shift shift shift shift.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap tap tap.

Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap tap tap.

Plink plink plink. Plink plink plink plink plink.

Plink plink plink. Plink plink plink plink plink.

Rev rev rev. Rev rev rev rev rev.

Rev rev rev. Rev rev rev rev rev.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Knock knock knock. Knock knock knock knock knock.

Knock knock knock. Knock knock knock knock knock.

[Garage door rising]

Waah waah waah. Waah waah waah waah waah.

Waah waah waah. Waah waah waah waah waah.

Waah waah waah. Waah waah waah waah waah.

Waah waah waah. Waah waah waah waah waah.

Waah waah waah. Waah waah waah waah waah.

Waah waah waah. Waah waah waah waah waah.

Waah waah waah. Waah waah waah waah waah.

Oh, no! Ooh!

My favorite show, and it's on right now.

I cannot miss it. I cannot miss it.

I cannot miss it.

Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!

All but Dexter: You missed it.

Ha ha! Hee hee!

I loved it! That went fast.

That was a great one.

Oh.

8:30?galactic gators

oh.

[Beep]

Dragon's creek?!

Oh.

I won't--i won't--i won't...

Miss it.

Hee hee! Ha ha! Ha ha!

That was the best one.

Man, I loved it

when uncle chimp ate

aunt chimp's prize winning banana.

And how about

when chimp mama locked herself in the freezer?

And they had to deep-frost her like a Turkey!

[All laughing]

Hee hee!

Hey, how about the time chimp daddy caught

chimp mama dressed like a man?

Ha ha! Remember?

Uh-huh?

Uh, Dexter,

that one aired weeks ago.

Oh, yeah, I guess it did.

But this week, chimp papa dressed like a woman.

[All laughing]

And then he snuck into chimp mama's women's club.

And then they elected him

the lady chimps' club president.

[All but Dexter laughing]

TV:The wild man.

[Growling on TV]

[Woman screaming on TV]

Dad: Oh, man, is he angry.

Hey, Dexter, you're not leaving

to do your homework again, are you?

The wild man

I know, dad, but I've got to study.

Tomorrow is the big debate.

Well...ok, son.

Whatever.

Oh, why is TV always so great

when I must do homework?

Why must I always be such a boy genius?

Why? Why? Why?

Wait. I know why.

So that I can invent a way to never miss TV again.

I will need a capsular receiver,

a couple of satellite dishes,

a bipolar antenna,

and a protective Gill-toro helmet.

I'll weld them all together, and I will have...

My global transmission compression receiver.

And now, TV signals from satellites

all around the world shall beam

their prime time programming

directly into my brain.

It's TV my way.

Didn't you love it

when xorna kicked the sorcerer's heinie?

Yeah. That show was great.

What? Dorkster, you've never even watched

xorna: The high kick queen.

Oh, no?

How about when xorna knelt before the vokar knight

and then delivered her high kick to his face?

[Imitates battle cry]

And then the double thrust.

[Imitates battle cry]

So, what's the deal with those TV dinners anyway?

You never see anyone eat them on TV.

[Laughter]

Good night,

and have a pleasant tomorrow.

That Dexter sure knows his TV.

He even sounds like one.

Man, all this TV can be exhausting.

But if it makes me popular,

who cares?

So, by $100,

he had already used up his lifelines.

Hee hee! Ha ha!

What a jerk.

Yes, there were 2 darrins

both named dick.

Ooh. Ooh.

That was the fat Elmer Fudd.

He only appeared in 4 cartoons.

Wow. Wow.

How do you know that?

"Marcia, marcia, marcia!"

Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger.

Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.

"Townsville's in trouble!"

Oh, brother. Give it a break.

Ooh.

Dexter?

[Grudgingly] Newman.

The debate has begun, and we're all waiting for you.

The debate?!

[All chattering]

All right, Dexter, the first topic goes to you.

Ahem. Please tells us

about the positive effects of television

on today's young people.

Heh heh.

You have 30 seconds.

Begin.

The greatest way

for today's kids to gain knowledge of the world

is through the wonder of television.

By watching the inventing channel,

they learn about science and technology.

By watching the thinking channel,

they learn about geography and math.

With television, kids are

in charge of everything.

I think

I'd like to buy a vowel now.

Uh, what I meant to say was,

Alex, I'll take TV talk for 500.

[Feedback]

Huh? Huh? Huh?

Hmm, odd.

This is a test. This is only a test.

[Imitates high-pitched tone]

[Rings]

Your time is up, Dexter.

All right, your turn, Herman.

[Rings]

Fellow classmates,

my opponent Dexter,

here, is obviously

a teleholic.

Look at his pathetic expression.

TV has robbed him of his personality,

as well as his mind.

He exists exclusively in a TV wasteland.

There, he wastes his days,

staring mindlessly at his boob tube.

He has fooled only himself into thinking

that he's actually learning something.

But the only thing he's learned

is how to talk like a TV.

Oh! I must get these TV signals out of my head.

Aha!

I will revert the signals

and program the compression receiver

to repel all global transmission.

Aah! Aah!

And that is why books are our only salvation.

[Timer rings]

Dexter, you may now respond.

Obviously, my opponent

is trying to scare you.

Fellow students, TV is not the enemy.

It is your friend.

Just last night,

my friend, TV, and I went out to eat.

I ordered a TV dinner,

and he got the satellite dish.

[All laughing]

Dexter, stop that immediately.

Sit on it, fonz.

That's enough.

I declare Herman the winner.

And, Dexter, go to the principal's office.

Ah--ah--ah, what?

Oh.

Well, Dexter, your behavior in that auditorium was

totally appalling, outrageous, shocking, and horrifying.

Just what on earth have you got to say for yourself, young man?

Well, sir, uh, you see,

all I can say is...

This concludes our broadcast day. Good night.

[Static]

Enter at your own peril,

past the vaulted door,

where...

Impossible things may happen

that the world's never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's

♪ laboratory

♪ lives the smartest boy you've ever seen ♪

♪ but Dee Dee blows his experiments... ♪

♪ To smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom ♪

♪ while things go boom

♪ in Dexter's lab

captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

captioned by the national captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org--