Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,433 --> 00:00:02,833
Went out to dinner
the other night.
2
00:00:02,866 --> 00:00:05,200
Check came at the end
of the meal, as it always does.
3
00:00:05,233 --> 00:00:08,366
Never liked the "check
at the end of the meal" system,
4
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:09,900
because money's
a very different thing
5
00:00:09,933 --> 00:00:10,900
before and after you eat.
6
00:00:10,933 --> 00:00:12,533
Before you eat,
money has no value.
7
00:00:12,566 --> 00:00:14,733
You don't care about money
when you're hungry.
8
00:00:14,766 --> 00:00:15,966
You sit down in a restaurant
9
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,533
and you're like the ruler
of an empire...
10
00:00:17,566 --> 00:00:18,900
More drinks!
11
00:00:18,933 --> 00:00:20,533
Appetizers!
12
00:00:20,566 --> 00:00:22,700
Quickly, quickly.
13
00:00:22,733 --> 00:00:26,400
It will be the greatest meal
of our lives.
14
00:00:26,433 --> 00:00:28,666
Then after the meal, you know,
15
00:00:28,700 --> 00:00:29,999
you got the pants open,
you got the napkins destroyed,
16
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:33,200
you got the pants open,
you got the napkins destroyed,
17
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:35,333
cigarette butt
in the mashed potatoes.
18
00:00:35,366 --> 00:00:38,166
Then the check comes
at that moment.
19
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,866
People are always upset,
you know.
20
00:00:40,900 --> 00:00:43,500
They're mystified by the check.
They're...
21
00:00:43,533 --> 00:00:47,166
"What is this?
22
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:48,666
How could this be?"
23
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,000
They start passing it
around the table.
24
00:00:51,033 --> 00:00:54,333
"Does this look right to you?
25
00:00:54,366 --> 00:00:55,833
"We're not hungry now.
26
00:00:55,866 --> 00:00:58,100
Why are we buying
all this food?"
27
00:01:02,533 --> 00:01:04,233
Well, I think Superman
28
00:01:04,266 --> 00:01:06,866
probably has
a very good sense of humor.
29
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,733
I never heard him say
anything really funny.
30
00:01:09,766 --> 00:01:11,366
But it's common sense.
31
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,666
He's got super strength,
super speed.
32
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:15,866
I'm sure he's got super humor.
33
00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:17,800
You'd think that, but...
34
00:01:17,833 --> 00:01:20,000
either you're born with
a sense of humor or you're not.
35
00:01:20,033 --> 00:01:21,166
It's not gonna change.
36
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,166
Even if you go from
the red sun of Krypton
37
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,666
all the way to the yellow sun
38
00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:25,666
of the Earth...
39
00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:26,666
Ehh...
40
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:27,666
Why?
41
00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:29,666
Why would that one area
of his mind
42
00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:30,477
not be affected
by the yellow sun of the Earth?
43
00:01:30,478 --> 00:01:33,200
Not be affected
by the yellow sun of the Earth?
44
00:01:33,233 --> 00:01:35,333
I don't know.
But he ain't funny.
45
00:01:36,533 --> 00:01:40,000
Hi. I know, I know.
I'm sorry I'm late.
46
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:41,333
No problem.
47
00:01:41,366 --> 00:01:43,066
Whew.
48
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:44,533
I dropped a grape.
49
00:01:44,566 --> 00:01:45,666
Pardon?
50
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:47,500
I dropped a grape
in the kitchen,
51
00:01:47,533 --> 00:01:49,133
and it disappeared.
52
00:01:49,166 --> 00:01:50,466
I couldn't find it.
53
00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:53,300
I was literally
on my knees for 10 minutes
54
00:01:53,333 --> 00:01:55,100
looking for this stupid grape.
55
00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:59,200
I have no idea where it went.
56
00:01:59,233 --> 00:02:00,333
[SNIFFS]
57
00:02:00,366 --> 00:02:00,477
Were you crying? I mean,
it's just a grape.
58
00:02:00,478 --> 00:02:03,700
Were you crying? I mean,
it's just a grape.
59
00:02:03,733 --> 00:02:05,200
You'll find it.
60
00:02:05,233 --> 00:02:07,866
No. I'm just getting over
an allergy attack.
61
00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:10,300
This guy I'm going out with...
Robert.
62
00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:13,600
Robert.
Yes. Thank you.
63
00:02:14,766 --> 00:02:18,200
He has two cats,
and I'm allergic to them.
64
00:02:18,233 --> 00:02:22,366
You know, I finally meet
a normal man,
65
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,366
and I can't even go
into his apartment, you know?
66
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,033
And of course my apartment
is The Actors' Studio,
67
00:02:28,066 --> 00:02:29,733
so we can't go there.
68
00:02:29,766 --> 00:02:30,477
It's really causing
a lot of problems, you know?
69
00:02:30,478 --> 00:02:31,866
It's really causing
a lot of problems, you know?
70
00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:33,533
He won't even go away
for the weekend
71
00:02:33,566 --> 00:02:34,866
because of these cats.
72
00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:37,700
Guys with cats...
I don't know.
73
00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:38,833
I've been thinking
74
00:02:38,866 --> 00:02:41,066
about asking this girl
I'm seeing...
75
00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:43,233
Vanessa?
76
00:02:43,266 --> 00:02:44,733
Vanessa. Thank you.
77
00:02:44,766 --> 00:02:46,533
I've been thinking
about asking her
78
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:49,200
to go away for a couple days.
79
00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:51,733
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
I'd have to advise against that.
80
00:02:51,766 --> 00:02:54,033
What do you know this woman,
a month?
81
00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:55,633
You're gonna be with her
for 72 hours.
82
00:02:55,666 --> 00:02:57,533
That's a dating decathlon.
83
00:02:57,566 --> 00:02:59,033
Hey, why don't you take her
84
00:02:59,066 --> 00:03:00,476
to that place in Vermont
I was telling you about?
85
00:03:00,477 --> 00:03:01,033
To that place in Vermont
I was telling you about?
86
00:03:01,066 --> 00:03:02,866
You know,
that really charming place
87
00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:07,000
with separate faucets
for the hot and cold.
88
00:03:07,033 --> 00:03:08,233
She'll love it.
89
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:10,866
That's exquisite.
90
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:12,340
Listen, if it's not
too much trouble,
91
00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:15,133
could you pass me
that paper over there?
92
00:03:15,166 --> 00:03:17,066
Just the business
section is good.
93
00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:18,466
You'd better find that grape
94
00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:19,500
before it mutates
95
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:20,666
into another life form.
96
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:21,833
[CHUCKLES]
97
00:03:21,866 --> 00:03:23,500
There was once a mutant grape
98
00:03:23,533 --> 00:03:25,866
that terrorized an entire town
99
00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:27,066
in the Texas panhandle.
100
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,633
They brought in the Army.
101
00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:30,476
Nobody could stop it.
102
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:30,633
Nobody could stop it.
103
00:03:30,666 --> 00:03:33,200
Apparently,
it had a pit of steel.
104
00:03:35,233 --> 00:03:36,500
Up again.
105
00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:39,166
This is incredible.
I'm... I'm getting it.
106
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,200
You're getting what?
107
00:03:40,233 --> 00:03:41,366
A stock.
108
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:42,466
What stock?
109
00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:43,833
Did you ever meet
my friend, Simons?
110
00:03:43,866 --> 00:03:45,533
Maybe.
111
00:03:45,566 --> 00:03:46,666
He know this guy, Wilkenson.
112
00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:48,366
He made a fortune
in the stock market.
113
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:49,700
Now he's got some new thing,
114
00:03:49,733 --> 00:03:51,733
you know, it's supposed
to be a big merger.
115
00:03:51,766 --> 00:03:53,500
I wasn't even supposed
to say anything.
116
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:55,133
You guys should think
about doing this too.
117
00:03:55,166 --> 00:03:57,000
How high is it supposed to go?
118
00:03:57,033 --> 00:03:58,200
I don't know, but Simons said
119
00:03:58,233 --> 00:03:59,633
that if I wanted
to get involved,
120
00:03:59,666 --> 00:04:00,477
that Wilkenson would tell me
the exact right minute to sell.
121
00:04:00,478 --> 00:04:02,233
That Wilkenson would tell me
the exact right minute to sell.
122
00:04:02,266 --> 00:04:03,233
You want to do it?
123
00:04:03,266 --> 00:04:04,366
Boy, I don't know.
124
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,200
I'd do it, but I don't
have any money.
125
00:04:06,233 --> 00:04:07,400
What kind of company is it?
126
00:04:07,433 --> 00:04:09,066
It's called Centrax.
127
00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:10,966
They've got
some new kind of new technique
128
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,200
for televising opera.
129
00:04:13,233 --> 00:04:14,200
Televising opera?
130
00:04:14,233 --> 00:04:16,966
Some sort of electronic thingy.
131
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,366
Well, how much
are you gonna invest?
132
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,500
Five thousand.
133
00:04:19,533 --> 00:04:21,966
Ten. Ten thousand.
134
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,566
Five thousand.
135
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,633
Boy.
Come on.
136
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:29,133
Wilkenson's got millions
invested in this stock.
137
00:04:29,166 --> 00:04:30,476
It's gone up three points
since I've been watching it.
138
00:04:30,477 --> 00:04:31,633
It's gone up three points
since I've been watching it.
139
00:04:31,666 --> 00:04:32,800
What if I lose it?
140
00:04:32,833 --> 00:04:33,800
Come on.
141
00:04:33,833 --> 00:04:35,333
Go for 2500.
142
00:04:35,366 --> 00:04:37,000
We'll do it together.
Come on, come on.
143
00:04:37,033 --> 00:04:39,133
We're in it together.
144
00:04:39,166 --> 00:04:40,866
All right, 2500.
145
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:42,166
That's it.
146
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,366
Yeah, can I take your order?
147
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,500
I will check to the raiser.
148
00:04:46,533 --> 00:04:48,400
My bet? All right.
149
00:04:48,433 --> 00:04:50,200
I'll open with...
150
00:04:50,233 --> 00:04:51,633
a tuna sandwich.
151
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:52,700
Tuna?
152
00:04:52,733 --> 00:04:54,900
Oh, the dolphin thing?
153
00:04:54,933 --> 00:04:57,533
They're dying in the nets.
154
00:04:57,566 --> 00:04:59,233
You know, the whole
concept of lunch
155
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:00,476
is based on tuna.
156
00:05:00,477 --> 00:05:00,533
Is based on tuna.
157
00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:01,566
But, Jerry,
158
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,833
can't you incorporate
one unselfish act
159
00:05:03,866 --> 00:05:05,066
in your daily routine?
160
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,066
Hey, when I'm driving,
161
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:07,500
I let people in ahead of me
162
00:05:07,533 --> 00:05:08,566
all the time.
163
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,200
I'm always waving everybody in.
164
00:05:10,233 --> 00:05:12,133
Go ahead, go ahead,
165
00:05:12,166 --> 00:05:13,700
go ahead.
166
00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:17,366
All right, all right,
I'll have the chicken salad.
167
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,533
Um, and I'm gonna have
an English muffin
168
00:05:20,566 --> 00:05:22,133
with margarine on the side
169
00:05:22,166 --> 00:05:23,366
and a cup of coffee.
170
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:24,366
Okay, what about you?
171
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,000
I'll have the tuna.
172
00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:33,466
I have to say,
173
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,700
those people talking behind us
really ruined that movie for me.
174
00:05:36,733 --> 00:05:38,866
Why didn't you do something?
175
00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:41,066
What do you want me to do?
176
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:43,266
I gave the guy the half turn...
177
00:05:44,933 --> 00:05:47,200
Then I gave him the full turn
with the eye roll...
178
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,633
I mean, beyond that,
179
00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:52,733
I'm risking a punch
in the mouth.
180
00:05:52,766 --> 00:05:55,966
Excuse me,
do you have these in the puffs?
181
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,066
No puffs, just flakes.
182
00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,833
Have you thought any more
about that trip?
183
00:06:02,866 --> 00:06:04,500
Yeah, I've been
thinking about it.
184
00:06:04,533 --> 00:06:06,500
You know, my friend told me
about this great place
185
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,533
in Vermont.
186
00:06:07,566 --> 00:06:08,633
I don't know.
187
00:06:08,666 --> 00:06:10,333
I just worry about
trips like this.
188
00:06:10,366 --> 00:06:11,900
It's a lot of pressure.
189
00:06:11,933 --> 00:06:13,900
It's great.
It speeds up the intimacy level.
190
00:06:13,933 --> 00:06:15,400
It's like putting
the relationship
191
00:06:15,433 --> 00:06:16,866
in a time compressor.
192
00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:19,466
Where we would be
six months from now,
193
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:20,733
we accomplish in three days.
194
00:06:20,766 --> 00:06:23,066
Oh... so you want
to move our relationship
195
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:24,400
into phase two.
196
00:06:24,433 --> 00:06:25,400
Exactly.
197
00:06:25,433 --> 00:06:28,000
I love phase two.
198
00:06:28,033 --> 00:06:29,633
Extra toothbrushes,
199
00:06:29,666 --> 00:06:30,477
increased phone call frequency,
200
00:06:30,478 --> 00:06:32,000
increased phone call frequency,
201
00:06:32,033 --> 00:06:34,866
walking around naked.
202
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,333
You know,
the presents get a lot better
203
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:40,666
in phase two.
204
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,133
Really?
205
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:44,200
Can we go fishing up there?
206
00:06:44,233 --> 00:06:47,866
Yeah, we can fish.
What, blues, carp... marlin?
207
00:06:49,233 --> 00:06:50,566
They have marlin in Vermont?
208
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:53,000
Oh, big fighting marlin.
209
00:06:58,166 --> 00:07:00,133
Jerry, the stock is the same
210
00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:00,477
as when you checked it earlier.
211
00:07:00,477 --> 00:07:01,400
As when you checked it earlier.
212
00:07:01,433 --> 00:07:02,633
There are no changes
213
00:07:02,666 --> 00:07:03,800
after the market closes.
214
00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:04,833
The stock is still down.
215
00:07:04,866 --> 00:07:06,466
I know,
but this is a different paper.
216
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:10,333
I thought maybe they have
different... sources.
217
00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:18,533
[IMITATES CAR ENGINE]
218
00:07:22,666 --> 00:07:23,966
Is that my paper?
219
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,900
Bad news, my friend.
220
00:07:25,933 --> 00:07:26,900
What? What news?
221
00:07:26,933 --> 00:07:27,900
Centrax.
222
00:07:27,933 --> 00:07:30,066
Oh, come on, it's down again?
223
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:30,477
Two and a half points.
224
00:07:30,478 --> 00:07:31,500
Two and a half points.
225
00:07:31,533 --> 00:07:33,233
Oh, I can't believe it.
226
00:07:33,266 --> 00:07:34,266
Let me see that.
227
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,566
That's four and a half points
in three days.
228
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:41,566
That's almost half my money.
229
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:42,966
Hey, I told you.
230
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,233
Yeah, you told me.
231
00:07:44,266 --> 00:07:46,233
It's all manipulated
with junk bonds.
232
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,566
You can't win.
233
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,400
H...
234
00:07:50,433 --> 00:07:52,633
There's one thing
I don't understand.
235
00:07:52,666 --> 00:07:55,800
Why does it please you?
George Costanza, please.
236
00:07:55,833 --> 00:07:58,733
I'm just telling you
to get rid of that stock now!
237
00:07:58,766 --> 00:08:00,133
George, what's going on?
238
00:08:00,166 --> 00:08:00,477
Sell it!
239
00:08:00,477 --> 00:08:01,133
Sell it!
240
00:08:01,166 --> 00:08:03,133
Just say, "I'm selling."
241
00:08:03,166 --> 00:08:04,566
Well, where is the guy?
242
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,400
Nothing?
243
00:08:07,433 --> 00:08:10,133
Almost half my money is gone.
244
00:08:10,166 --> 00:08:11,566
Well, call me right back.
245
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:13,900
Nobody can reach Wilkenson.
246
00:08:13,933 --> 00:08:15,700
He hasn't been home
or in his office
247
00:08:15,733 --> 00:08:16,866
in the past three days.
248
00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:18,000
You know, I can't believe
249
00:08:18,033 --> 00:08:19,566
you put your money
in that Centrax.
250
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,033
You could have invested
in my roll-out tie dispenser.
251
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:25,900
The roll-out tie dispenser...
252
00:08:25,933 --> 00:08:27,000
What was that one?
253
00:08:27,033 --> 00:08:28,400
Okay, you're in a restaurant.
254
00:08:28,433 --> 00:08:30,466
You've got a very big meeting
coming up.
255
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:31,533
Okay.
256
00:08:31,566 --> 00:08:34,633
Oh, man,
you've got mustard on your tie.
257
00:08:34,666 --> 00:08:35,966
Oh, no.
258
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,466
You just... ksh,
tear it off,
259
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:40,966
and... vvvvt, you've got
a new one right here, huh?
260
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,700
And then... you're gone.
261
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:48,566
You're gone, all right.
262
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,166
Hey, where are you going?
263
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,366
You gonna take a trip?
The... With the map...
264
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,166
Yeah, I'm going to Vermont
with Vanessa
265
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,166
for a few days.
266
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,000
Hey, can I use your place?
267
00:08:58,033 --> 00:09:00,233
I've got a bunch of friends
coming over this weekend.
268
00:09:00,266 --> 00:09:00,477
What friends?
269
00:09:00,478 --> 00:09:01,633
What friends?
270
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,333
Well,
it's just some people I met
271
00:09:03,366 --> 00:09:05,833
at a rock concert.
272
00:09:05,866 --> 00:09:07,566
Do you mind
if they use your bed?
273
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,200
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
274
00:09:11,566 --> 00:09:13,000
Because they're
really good people, Jerry.
275
00:09:13,033 --> 00:09:14,733
I'm telling you, you know,
they're anarchists.
276
00:09:14,766 --> 00:09:16,500
They're... They're...
They're huge.
277
00:09:16,533 --> 00:09:17,633
Yeah.
278
00:09:17,666 --> 00:09:20,866
George, what?
279
00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:22,700
You're kidding.
280
00:09:22,733 --> 00:09:24,700
Well, what's wrong?
281
00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:27,066
So, what are we gonna do?
282
00:09:28,666 --> 00:09:30,476
Great. All right,
I'll speak to you later.
283
00:09:30,477 --> 00:09:30,700
Great. All right,
I'll speak to you later.
284
00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:33,133
Wilkenson, the guy
285
00:09:33,166 --> 00:09:34,300
who's supposed to tell us
286
00:09:34,333 --> 00:09:35,400
when to sell the stock,
287
00:09:35,433 --> 00:09:36,666
he's in the hospital.
288
00:09:44,819 --> 00:09:46,785
JERRY:
You don't know what's wrong
with him?
289
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:48,385
GEORGE: All Simons
was able to find out
290
00:09:48,419 --> 00:09:49,579
is that he's in the hospital.
291
00:09:51,319 --> 00:09:52,319
Okay, fine.
292
00:09:52,352 --> 00:09:53,952
Has Simons been in touch
with him?
293
00:09:53,985 --> 00:09:55,685
Of course he's been
in touch with him.
294
00:09:55,719 --> 00:09:57,319
He left two messages.
295
00:09:57,352 --> 00:09:59,719
He... just hasn't heard
back yet, that's all.
296
00:09:59,752 --> 00:10:01,285
Well, this is it. I'm selling.
297
00:10:01,319 --> 00:10:03,885
All right, just... Just give it
a little more time.
298
00:10:03,919 --> 00:10:05,885
I never should have
gotten involved in this.
299
00:10:05,919 --> 00:10:08,719
I'm a nervous wreck.
I'm not cut out for investing.
300
00:10:08,752 --> 00:10:10,519
All right, that's it.
I'm gonna go down there.
301
00:10:10,552 --> 00:10:11,652
Where?
302
00:10:11,685 --> 00:10:12,790
To the hospital.
303
00:10:12,791 --> 00:10:13,152
To the hospital.
304
00:10:13,185 --> 00:10:14,519
The hospital?
305
00:10:14,552 --> 00:10:16,485
I'm gonna find out
what's going on, all right?
306
00:10:16,519 --> 00:10:19,385
Are you nuts?
You don't even know the guy.
307
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,719
So what?
308
00:10:20,752 --> 00:10:23,785
I'll start talking to him,
you know, casual.
309
00:10:23,819 --> 00:10:25,185
I'll work my way around to it.
310
00:10:25,219 --> 00:10:27,719
What if he's in an iron lung
or something?
311
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,385
What are you gonna do?
312
00:10:30,585 --> 00:10:33,819
How you feeling, Mr. Wilkenson?
313
00:10:33,852 --> 00:10:36,219
[IMITATES STEAM HISSING]
314
00:10:36,252 --> 00:10:39,685
By the way,
what's happening with Centrax?
315
00:10:39,719 --> 00:10:41,885
Maybe he's there resting.
316
00:10:41,919 --> 00:10:42,791
Who goes to a hospital to rest?
317
00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:45,019
Who goes to a hospital to rest?
318
00:10:45,052 --> 00:10:46,552
What are you, a doctor?
319
00:10:46,585 --> 00:10:49,452
Okay, fine, fine.
When are you going down there?
320
00:10:49,485 --> 00:10:51,285
Today, I'm going today.
321
00:10:51,319 --> 00:10:52,552
Just don't do anything
322
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,385
until you hear from me.
323
00:10:54,419 --> 00:10:56,519
All right.
324
00:10:56,552 --> 00:10:59,152
Boy,
I have to get to a bathroom.
325
00:11:03,719 --> 00:11:05,019
May I help you?
326
00:11:05,052 --> 00:11:07,519
Yeah, I picked up
this shirt here yesterday.
327
00:11:07,552 --> 00:11:09,619
It's completely shrunk.
328
00:11:09,652 --> 00:11:11,185
There's absolutely no way
I can wear it.
329
00:11:11,219 --> 00:11:12,385
When did you bring it in?
330
00:11:12,419 --> 00:11:12,791
What's the difference?
331
00:11:12,791 --> 00:11:13,685
What's the difference?
332
00:11:13,719 --> 00:11:16,185
Look at it. Do you see
the size of this shirt?
333
00:11:16,219 --> 00:11:17,685
You got a receipt?
334
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,952
I can't find the receipt.
335
00:11:19,985 --> 00:11:21,152
You should get the receipt.
336
00:11:21,185 --> 00:11:22,685
Look, forget about
the receipt, all right?
337
00:11:22,719 --> 00:11:27,185
Even if I had the receipt,
look at it, it's a hand puppet.
338
00:11:27,219 --> 00:11:29,019
What am I gonna do with this?
339
00:11:29,052 --> 00:11:33,352
Yes, but how do I know
we did the shirt?
340
00:11:33,385 --> 00:11:36,219
What do you think?
This is a little scam I have?
341
00:11:36,252 --> 00:11:38,019
I take this tiny shirt
all over the city,
342
00:11:38,052 --> 00:11:41,352
conning dry cleaners
out of money?
343
00:11:41,385 --> 00:11:42,790
In fact, forget the money.
I don't even want the money.
344
00:11:42,791 --> 00:11:44,119
In fact, forget the money.
I don't even want the money.
345
00:11:44,152 --> 00:11:47,152
I just once would like
to hear a dry cleaner admit
346
00:11:47,185 --> 00:11:49,152
that something was their fault.
347
00:11:49,185 --> 00:11:50,352
That's what I want.
348
00:11:50,385 --> 00:11:52,385
I want an admission of guilt.
349
00:11:52,419 --> 00:11:55,852
Maybe you asked
for it to be washed.
350
00:11:55,885 --> 00:11:59,185
No, dry-cleaned.
351
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:02,452
Let me explain to you
something, okay?
352
00:12:02,485 --> 00:12:04,352
With certain types of fabrics,
353
00:12:04,385 --> 00:12:07,152
different chemicals
can react, causing...
354
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:09,385
You shrunk it.
You know you shrunk it.
355
00:12:09,419 --> 00:12:11,985
Just tell me you shrunk it.
356
00:12:15,385 --> 00:12:17,252
I shrunk it.
357
00:12:18,419 --> 00:12:20,852
I think the only reason
we go to the dry cleaner
358
00:12:20,885 --> 00:12:22,952
is so I can say
to the dry cleaner,
359
00:12:22,985 --> 00:12:25,785
"Well... it's ruined,"
360
00:12:25,819 --> 00:12:28,452
and of course,
the dry cleaner can respond,
361
00:12:28,485 --> 00:12:31,452
"It's not our fault.
We're not responsible.
362
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:35,419
We just ruin the clothes.
That ends our legal obligation."
363
00:12:36,652 --> 00:12:38,819
See, the whole problem
with dry cleaning
364
00:12:38,852 --> 00:12:42,790
is that we all believe
that this is actually possible.
365
00:12:42,791 --> 00:12:42,952
Is that we all believe
that this is actually possible.
366
00:12:42,985 --> 00:12:43,985
Right?
367
00:12:44,019 --> 00:12:45,619
They're cleaning our clothes,
368
00:12:45,652 --> 00:12:48,152
but they're not getting
anything wet.
369
00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:50,385
It's all dry.
370
00:12:50,419 --> 00:12:53,052
I know there's got to be
some liquids back there,
371
00:12:53,085 --> 00:12:54,352
some fluids that they're using.
372
00:12:54,385 --> 00:12:55,885
There's no such thing
as dry cleaning.
373
00:12:55,919 --> 00:12:57,285
When you get something
on your shirt...
374
00:12:57,319 --> 00:12:58,485
Ever get something on your shirt
375
00:12:58,519 --> 00:13:00,485
and try and get it off
like that?
376
00:13:00,519 --> 00:13:01,885
That's dry cleaning.
377
00:13:01,919 --> 00:13:03,552
I don't think
that's what they're doing
378
00:13:03,585 --> 00:13:04,952
back there.
379
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:07,852
They don't have 80 guys going,
"Come on, hurry up.
380
00:13:07,885 --> 00:13:10,585
There's a lot of shirts today."
381
00:13:12,885 --> 00:13:14,685
[ELAINE SNEEZES]
382
00:13:14,719 --> 00:13:15,885
JERRY:
Bless you.
383
00:13:15,919 --> 00:13:17,719
Thank you.
384
00:13:17,752 --> 00:13:19,052
What evidence is there
385
00:13:19,085 --> 00:13:21,219
that cats are so smart
anyway, huh?
386
00:13:21,252 --> 00:13:22,252
What do they do?
387
00:13:23,652 --> 00:13:25,385
Because they're clean?
388
00:13:25,419 --> 00:13:26,685
I'm sorry.
389
00:13:26,719 --> 00:13:30,052
My uncle Pete showers
four times a day,
390
00:13:30,085 --> 00:13:33,352
and he can't count to 10,
so don't give me hygiene.
391
00:13:33,385 --> 00:13:34,885
So, what are you gonna do?
392
00:13:34,919 --> 00:13:37,819
I don't know,
I can't think of any solution...
393
00:13:42,552 --> 00:13:42,791
Unless, of course,
394
00:13:42,791 --> 00:13:43,685
Unless, of course,
395
00:13:43,719 --> 00:13:47,152
they should meet
with some unfortunate accident.
396
00:13:50,052 --> 00:13:51,885
What do you think
a hit man would charge
397
00:13:51,919 --> 00:13:54,552
to rub out a couple of cats?
398
00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:57,852
Well,
it couldn't be too expensive.
399
00:13:57,885 --> 00:14:00,852
Thirteen, 14 bucks a cat?
400
00:14:00,885 --> 00:14:05,019
What do you think, Jerry?
You want to make 28 bucks?
401
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:08,119
I'm no cat killer.
402
00:14:08,152 --> 00:14:10,452
How about...
403
00:14:10,485 --> 00:14:12,352
we go over there right now,
404
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:12,791
and we shave them?
405
00:14:12,792 --> 00:14:14,785
And we shave them?
406
00:14:14,819 --> 00:14:17,452
I'd really like to go, Elaine,
407
00:14:17,485 --> 00:14:20,885
but... George is coming back
from the hospital,
408
00:14:20,919 --> 00:14:22,352
I've got to wait for him.
409
00:14:22,385 --> 00:14:25,485
But otherwise,
I would definitely go.
410
00:14:25,519 --> 00:14:28,352
He actually went
to the hospital?
411
00:14:28,385 --> 00:14:29,352
Yeah.
412
00:14:29,385 --> 00:14:30,685
Oh, man, he's nuts.
413
00:14:30,719 --> 00:14:32,152
Yeah, he's nuts.
414
00:14:32,185 --> 00:14:34,419
You want to bump off
a couple of cats.
415
00:14:38,685 --> 00:14:42,219
I know, I know. It's down again.
416
00:14:42,252 --> 00:14:42,791
How much you down altogether?
417
00:14:42,792 --> 00:14:44,319
How much you down altogether?
418
00:14:44,352 --> 00:14:46,285
I don't know, $1500.
419
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:48,219
Wow.
420
00:14:48,252 --> 00:14:51,185
You don't have to say "wow."
I know it's "wow."
421
00:14:52,919 --> 00:14:55,619
And there's that smile again.
422
00:14:55,652 --> 00:14:56,685
What is that?
423
00:14:57,852 --> 00:14:59,085
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
424
00:15:03,052 --> 00:15:04,485
JERRY:
It's George.
425
00:15:04,519 --> 00:15:06,185
Yeah.
426
00:15:08,485 --> 00:15:09,619
Oh...
427
00:15:09,652 --> 00:15:11,785
Oh, look at this one
by the bus stop.
428
00:15:11,819 --> 00:15:12,791
Jerry, come here.
Take a look at this.
429
00:15:12,791 --> 00:15:13,352
Jerry, come here.
Take a look at this.
430
00:15:13,385 --> 00:15:15,719
I really don't need to look.
431
00:15:15,752 --> 00:15:17,385
What a body.
432
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,785
Yeah, that's for me.
433
00:15:20,819 --> 00:15:24,952
Yeah, and you're just
what she's looking for too,
434
00:15:24,985 --> 00:15:26,952
a stranger leering
through a pair of binoculars
435
00:15:26,985 --> 00:15:29,119
10 floors up.
436
00:15:29,152 --> 00:15:32,219
I'm gonna go down there
and try and talk to her, huh?
437
00:15:32,252 --> 00:15:33,919
[SNAPS FINGERS]
438
00:15:46,019 --> 00:15:48,119
What?
439
00:15:48,152 --> 00:15:49,485
What? Did you go down there?
440
00:15:50,719 --> 00:15:52,985
Did he tell you
what's going to happen?
441
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,252
How long were you there?
442
00:15:56,385 --> 00:15:58,852
Fifteen seconds.
443
00:15:58,885 --> 00:16:01,052
You told him you knew Simons.
444
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,885
Yeah, I mentioned Simons.
445
00:16:03,919 --> 00:16:06,852
Next thing I know,
I'm in the parking lot!
446
00:16:08,352 --> 00:16:11,785
Perhaps they had
some sort of a falling out.
447
00:16:11,819 --> 00:16:12,791
I'll tell you one thing...
448
00:16:12,791 --> 00:16:13,719
I'll tell you one thing...
449
00:16:13,752 --> 00:16:15,019
I don't know what he's got,
450
00:16:15,052 --> 00:16:17,885
but for a sick guy,
he's very strong.
451
00:16:19,819 --> 00:16:22,385
Well, that's it.
Look, I'm going to Vermont.
452
00:16:22,419 --> 00:16:24,185
I don't want to think
about this.
453
00:16:24,219 --> 00:16:25,685
I'm selling.
454
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:27,985
Didn't work, huh?
455
00:16:28,019 --> 00:16:29,052
[CHUCKLES]
456
00:16:29,085 --> 00:16:31,019
Not quite.
457
00:16:31,052 --> 00:16:33,719
What are you gonna do
about the stock?
458
00:16:33,752 --> 00:16:35,552
I'm keeping it.
459
00:16:36,919 --> 00:16:38,919
I'm going down with the ship.
460
00:16:42,485 --> 00:16:42,791
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
461
00:16:42,792 --> 00:16:44,052
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
462
00:16:47,885 --> 00:16:48,985
So I know this guy.
463
00:16:49,019 --> 00:16:50,319
I'm getting all my sneakers
464
00:16:50,352 --> 00:16:52,119
at a discount now.
465
00:16:52,152 --> 00:16:53,452
I know.
You mentioned it.
466
00:16:53,485 --> 00:16:56,019
Oh, yeah, right.
467
00:16:56,052 --> 00:16:59,519
JERRY'S VOICE:
Oh, God, get me out of here.What a mistake.
468
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:02,152
What made me think
this would work?
469
00:17:02,185 --> 00:17:04,052
And I've still got another day.
470
00:17:05,319 --> 00:17:07,185
I've got nothing left to say.
471
00:17:07,219 --> 00:17:09,319
Wait, wait, I've got one.
472
00:17:09,352 --> 00:17:11,219
That's a nice watch.
473
00:17:11,252 --> 00:17:12,790
Yeah.
474
00:17:12,791 --> 00:17:13,319
Yeah.
475
00:17:13,352 --> 00:17:15,219
Do you wind it?
476
00:17:15,252 --> 00:17:17,452
No, it's got a little battery.
477
00:17:17,485 --> 00:17:18,885
Well, that's good.
478
00:17:18,919 --> 00:17:21,552
Well, the drive home
should be a delight.
479
00:17:21,585 --> 00:17:22,985
I'm speeding the whole way.
480
00:17:23,019 --> 00:17:24,985
Let them throw me in jail.
I don't care.
481
00:17:25,019 --> 00:17:26,152
That's the manager.
482
00:17:26,185 --> 00:17:28,552
Do you want me to see
if we can get another room?
483
00:17:28,585 --> 00:17:29,552
No, it's okay.
484
00:17:29,585 --> 00:17:31,119
So I guess you don't find
485
00:17:31,152 --> 00:17:33,319
the separate faucets
for the hot and the cold...
486
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:34,352
charming?
487
00:17:34,385 --> 00:17:36,352
Not especially.
488
00:17:36,385 --> 00:17:38,785
Well, what do you want to do
this afternoon?
489
00:17:38,819 --> 00:17:41,352
What can we do? It's raining.
490
00:17:44,152 --> 00:17:45,685
We could play "Sorry."
491
00:17:47,519 --> 00:17:49,519
We could play
"Steal the old man's bundle."
492
00:17:51,185 --> 00:17:53,319
Maybe I can get
an extension cord
493
00:17:53,352 --> 00:17:56,285
and hang myself.
494
00:17:56,319 --> 00:17:59,652
What kind of perfume
is that you're wearing?
495
00:17:59,685 --> 00:18:02,385
Oh, you've never heard of it.
496
00:18:02,419 --> 00:18:03,919
No, what...
what kind is it?
497
00:18:05,319 --> 00:18:06,319
I can't tell you.
498
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:08,552
Yeah, that's real normal.
499
00:18:08,585 --> 00:18:09,652
Excuse me, sir.
500
00:18:09,685 --> 00:18:11,885
Could I have a look
at that business section?
501
00:18:13,319 --> 00:18:14,719
The stock?
Thank you.
502
00:18:14,752 --> 00:18:16,119
I thought you got out of that.
503
00:18:16,152 --> 00:18:18,285
I did. I'm just curious.
504
00:18:18,319 --> 00:18:20,552
It's been almost a week.
I want to check it out.
505
00:18:22,485 --> 00:18:24,519
Six points?
506
00:18:26,352 --> 00:18:28,485
It's up six points.
507
00:18:28,519 --> 00:18:29,952
I told you not to sell.
508
00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:31,619
You did not tell me not to sell.
509
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:33,785
I said the market fluctuates.
Remember?
510
00:18:33,819 --> 00:18:37,352
Look, Vanessa,
of course the market fluctuates.
511
00:18:37,385 --> 00:18:38,785
Everybody knows that.
512
00:18:38,819 --> 00:18:41,385
I just got fluctuated
out of $4000.
513
00:18:41,419 --> 00:18:42,790
That's probably why we're...
514
00:18:42,791 --> 00:18:44,885
That's probably why we're...
515
00:18:44,919 --> 00:18:45,885
What?
516
00:18:45,919 --> 00:18:47,019
Forget it.
517
00:18:47,052 --> 00:18:48,552
No, that's probably why...
518
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:50,685
That's probably why
we're staying here,
519
00:18:50,719 --> 00:18:53,052
because you lost money
on the stock.
520
00:18:54,219 --> 00:18:55,985
So what am I looking at here?
521
00:18:56,019 --> 00:18:58,452
Twenty-nine hours to go?
522
00:18:58,485 --> 00:19:00,052
Well, at least
I've got plenty of time
523
00:19:00,085 --> 00:19:02,152
to find out the name
of that perfume.
524
00:19:05,252 --> 00:19:07,852
[LAUGHING]
525
00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:11,085
James... he kills me, kills me.
526
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:12,791
Have something else.
Come on, have a little dessert.
527
00:19:12,792 --> 00:19:14,552
Have something else.
Come on, have a little dessert.
528
00:19:14,585 --> 00:19:15,785
I'm good, thanks.
529
00:19:15,819 --> 00:19:18,385
Elaine, get something.
It's all taken care of.
530
00:19:18,419 --> 00:19:19,485
I'm kind of full.
531
00:19:19,519 --> 00:19:21,285
So don't finish it!
532
00:19:21,319 --> 00:19:23,052
She's full.
533
00:19:24,852 --> 00:19:29,852
So, big daddy, I'm just curious.
534
00:19:29,885 --> 00:19:31,152
How much did you clear
535
00:19:31,185 --> 00:19:32,952
on your little transaction
there,
536
00:19:32,985 --> 00:19:33,952
all told?
537
00:19:33,985 --> 00:19:35,952
I don't like to discuss figures.
538
00:19:35,985 --> 00:19:36,985
How much?
539
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:41,352
I don't know, 8,000.
It's a Hyundai.
540
00:19:41,385 --> 00:19:42,790
Get out of here.
541
00:19:42,791 --> 00:19:43,152
Get out of here.
542
00:19:43,185 --> 00:19:46,119
I told you not to sell.
543
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:48,652
Simons made money.
Wilkenson cleaned up.
544
00:19:48,685 --> 00:19:50,519
So Wilkenson
is out of the hospital now?
545
00:19:50,552 --> 00:19:51,885
No.
546
00:19:51,919 --> 00:19:53,152
You'd be surprised.
547
00:19:53,185 --> 00:19:55,885
You don't recover that quickly
from a nose job.
548
00:19:57,319 --> 00:19:58,285
[SNEEZES]
549
00:19:58,319 --> 00:19:59,385
Oh, God.
550
00:19:59,419 --> 00:20:01,152
Is that still from those cats?
551
00:20:01,185 --> 00:20:03,185
No...
552
00:20:03,219 --> 00:20:04,352
I've just got a cold.
553
00:20:04,385 --> 00:20:05,919
So, what ever happened
with that?
554
00:20:07,352 --> 00:20:08,652
I gave him an ultimatum.
555
00:20:11,385 --> 00:20:12,790
He chose the cats?
556
00:20:12,791 --> 00:20:13,319
He chose the cats?
557
00:20:13,352 --> 00:20:16,719
They're very clean animals.
558
00:20:16,752 --> 00:20:19,019
I've got to say,
that's pretty bad,
559
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,952
losing out to a cat.
560
00:20:20,985 --> 00:20:24,152
Almost as bad
as losing out to a perfume.
561
00:20:24,185 --> 00:20:25,385
[CHUCKLES]
562
00:20:25,419 --> 00:20:27,719
[ELAINE LAUGHS]
563
00:20:27,752 --> 00:20:30,519
Told you those trips
are relationship-killers.
564
00:20:32,385 --> 00:20:34,052
Too bad you can't get
your buddy Superman
565
00:20:34,085 --> 00:20:36,619
to fly around the earth
566
00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:37,852
at super speed
567
00:20:37,885 --> 00:20:39,519
and reverse time.
568
00:20:39,552 --> 00:20:40,652
Get all the money back,
569
00:20:40,685 --> 00:20:41,652
could have avoided
570
00:20:41,685 --> 00:20:42,790
the whole trip to Vermont...
571
00:20:42,791 --> 00:20:43,819
the whole trip to Vermont...
572
00:20:43,852 --> 00:20:45,019
Superman can go back in time?
573
00:20:45,052 --> 00:20:47,052
We went over that.
574
00:20:47,085 --> 00:20:48,719
Psst...
575
00:20:55,152 --> 00:20:56,819
Wilkenson's got a bite
on a new one...
576
00:20:58,552 --> 00:21:01,485
The Tramco Corporation.
577
00:21:01,519 --> 00:21:04,719
Out of... Springfield, I think.
578
00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:11,052
They're about to introduce
some sort of a robot butcher.
579
00:21:11,085 --> 00:21:12,790
A robot butcher?
580
00:21:12,791 --> 00:21:13,452
A robot butcher?
581
00:21:13,485 --> 00:21:15,252
Shh...
582
00:21:17,552 --> 00:21:19,885
You want to get in...
583
00:21:19,919 --> 00:21:21,619
very little time.
584
00:21:21,652 --> 00:21:24,219
[MOUTHS WORDS]
585
00:21:24,252 --> 00:21:25,685
Ahem.
586
00:21:25,719 --> 00:21:27,385
Sweetheart...
587
00:21:32,085 --> 00:21:34,352
No, no, no, no, no,
that ought to cover it.
588
00:21:37,085 --> 00:21:39,185
Just a second.
Just let me... peek.
589
00:21:47,585 --> 00:21:49,052
Good.
590
00:21:50,719 --> 00:21:52,785
Come on!
Come on, come on, come on...
591
00:21:52,819 --> 00:21:54,319
I'm not an investor.
592
00:21:54,352 --> 00:21:55,552
People always tell me,
593
00:21:55,585 --> 00:21:57,552
"You should have your money
working for you."
594
00:21:57,585 --> 00:22:00,819
I've decided I'll do the work,
I'm gonna let the money relax.
595
00:22:00,852 --> 00:22:01,885
You know what I mean?
596
00:22:01,919 --> 00:22:03,319
Because you send your money
out there
597
00:22:03,352 --> 00:22:04,319
working for you,
598
00:22:04,352 --> 00:22:06,885
a lot of times, it gets fired.
599
00:22:06,919 --> 00:22:08,152
You go back there,
"What happened?
600
00:22:08,185 --> 00:22:10,519
I had my money, it was here,
it was working for me."
601
00:22:10,552 --> 00:22:12,790
"Yeah, I remember your money.
602
00:22:12,791 --> 00:22:13,352
"Yeah, I remember your money.
603
00:22:13,385 --> 00:22:17,019
"Showing up late,
taking time off...
604
00:22:17,052 --> 00:22:18,985
We had to let him go."
41470
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof