All language subtitles for Roseanne S09E18 A Second Chance - fiveofseven

[inhales]
[door opens]

What the--
[laughs]

What are you-- It smells like
a Catholic church in here.

What are you doing?

Meditating.

This might sound really
Western of me, but why?

I'll call.
You're looking at the books
that Nancy left you.

The Once and Future Goddess.

Yeah.
'Cause see, this is about

if I want to transform myself,

I have to totally reconnect
with my own inner goddess.

Mm.

Your inner goddess.

Hinduism:
The Art of Living.

Well, see, yeah.
That's about how action
sculptures your life.

In other words,
you can't just sit
there on your butt

if you want your life
to turn into anything.

Oh, well, who would have
thought that common sense

would have been
so ancient?

Yeah. In the Kabbalah,
it says that, uh,

only 1% of us is physical,

while 99% of us
is spiritual.

Oh. So there's math
involved.

No, Jackie. Come here.
Sit down.

I'll show you
how to do it.

It's just like--
Okay.

You sit down,
you kind of relax, you know.

Open up your palms
and everything.

And you just kind of
let all your worries
and everything go.

You know, you just kind of
try to open yourself up

so that you feel
free, you know.

And then try to take in
just a feeling of calm,

of kind of
personal power, you know?

Mm-hmm.

Concentrating on
this great feeling

of inner peace.
Mm.

Um, before I forget,
I ran into Dan
at the gas station.

He said he was gonna
drop by and pick up Jerry.

That bastard!

Without even calling first?

Am I just supposed to sit
here on my butt

all my life
waiting for him?

Roseanne, calm down.

I will certainly not
calm down. He can just
go [bleep] himself.

I don't give a good [bleep].

♪ If what doesn't kill us
is makin' us stronger ♪

♪ We're gonna last longer ♪

♪ Than the greatest wall
in China ♪

♪ Or that rabbit
with a drum ♪

♪ If there's one thing
that I've learned ♪

♪ While waiting for my turn ♪

♪ It's that in each life
some rain falls ♪

♪ But you also get some sun ♪

♪ And we'll make out
better than okay ♪

♪ Hear what I say ♪

♪ Yeah, any day ♪

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[knocking]

Uh-oh.

Hey.
Hi.

Is Roseanne around?
No.

David's still in Chicago,
so she drove Darlene

to see the doctor,
'cause she wasn't
feeling well.

Everything okay?
Oh, yeah.

No, it's just
indigestion or something.

Roseanne knew I was coming
to pick up Jerry, right?

Actually, I think
that's the reason

why she volunteered
to drive Darlene.

I can understand that.

I'm not too crazy about
me these days, either.

Well, come on in.
He's all ready.

Hey, buddy!
Hi! Hi!

You want a soda
or something?

Yeah, thanks.

So how's it feel to be
a captain of industry?

What?

No, I heard about
how you guys

bailed out
the Wellman plant.

Oh, I know.
Can you believe that?

The two women voted
"Most Likely to Burn
the Factory Down"

end up saving it.

So is that why Roseanne's
been seen around town
with Edgar Wellman?

Where'd you hear that?

Lanford's not exactly
a sprawling metropolis,
Jackie.

There's only two places
to go at night,

and I was in the one
place where they were
all talking about it.

Well, they been, uh,
spending some time together,

if that's what you mean.

Do you want ice
in this?

What does that mean,
spending time together?

What are you gonna do
with Jerry this afternoon?

Why are you answering
my questions with questions?

Am I?
Yeah, you are.
Now what's goin' on?

With what?
Come on, Jackie.

I need to know
about this.

Is there something
going on between Roseanne
and this Wellman guy?

Dan, Edgar is really
an attractive man.

He's very charming,
he comes from
a wealthy family--

not that they have
Conner money--

Jackie, talk to me.

Does she have feelings
for this guy?

I don't know.

But he sure as hell
has feelings for her.

[doorbell rings]

I'll get it. Soon as I
finish paring my apple.

Hi.

Hi.

[sigh]

Hi!

[knocking]

Now look, Roseanne,
we're better than this.

I love you, you love me,
you know that.

Now, it's been 25 years

before we even had one doubt
about this relationship.

I think that's
pretty good, don't you?

Yeah.
Yeah, well.

Then we should work
on it, you know?
Talk about it.

Darlene?

Me and your dad
are in the middle of
something important here.

You mind?

Well, I'm in the middle
of participating in
the miraculous creation

of a complex human being.

Bedroom?

Kitchen.

Hey, Dad!
Hey, son.
How are you doing?

Good, and what
are you doing here?

I just came to talk
with your mom.

Could we have a minute?

Yeah. I just gotta
finish filming

the last ten seconds
of this claymation
movie.

Should only take
a couple of hours.

Take your time.

[clearing throat]
Darlene.

No.
Please.

Please.
No.

Hi. Hi.
Hi.

Hi.

No, now I'm reflecting
on all the mistakes
you guys made

so I can break the cycle.

Too late. You're 20,
you're married,
and you're pregnant.

You're me.
Porch?

Hi.
Hi.
Hi.

[shivering]
Well, this ought
to keep us awake.

Yeah. Every one of my pores
just slammed shut.

You know what this old porch
needs is a swing.

This would be an okay
conversation to have
in say, July?

Look, uh...

about what happened
in California--

Yeah, hit me with it, Dan.
I'm numb from the cold.

Oh, I was stupid.

I was incredibly,
incredibly stupid.

Don't forget
thoughtless, insensitive,

and self-absorbed.

Well, in matter, there's
kind of a blanket stupid.

You know, what could I say?
She was there.

She listened to me,
and I fell for it.

You could have
called me, Dan.
I know.

Every time you did call,
all's you did was talk
about the weather.

Yeah, I know.
It's weird out there.

It's really hot all the time.
They got these el Niños,

and then they got
the Santa Anna winds,

and they-- I don't know
if they're the same thing
or not--

but it makes it hot,
and it's really
uncomfortable,

and then--
Is this the kind of
thing that she listened to?

Well, yeah.

Rose, I came--

I mean, I was this close

to making the biggest
mistake of my life.

Yeah, you were, Dan.

I know.
I'm sorry I hurt you.

'Bout killed me.

I know.
I'm sorry for it,

and I'd love to make up
for it, I mean--

I'll do whatever you say.
You just name it.

Good. Because I got
a whole Top 100 list

I've been working on
for a few weeks.

Yeah, well, uh,
maybe if I, uh...

kinda start like this.

I hope you're not just
hugging me to keep warm.

No. But now that you
mention it, you want
to go back in?

No, it's too crowded
in there.

[gasp]
Oh, I got an idea!

What do you say we take
a ride up to Lanford Leap?

Hmm!

I'll bet the view's
incredible up there,

and that new car's
got heated seats.

It's got heated seats?

Thank God!
I thought I was going
through the change.

Wow. Whoa.

So this is what's
become of Lanford Leap.

I guess it's not
a makeout spot

once they turn it
into a subdivision.

Yeah. Remember
right over there?

Man, if that guy's
carport could talk.

Yeah. I don't know if I'd
want to build my living room

over a bunch of old beer
cans and prophylactics.

Hey, Dan. Remember how
we used to come up here

and talk about the future?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I was gonna be
an All-Pro defensive lineman

for the Chicago Bears.

And I was gonna
change the world

with my Pulitzer Prize-winning
essays.

Gee, I wonder
if old Edgar Wellman
ever came up here.

Oh, probably not.

His old man probably
built him his own
private makeout spot.

All right.
So what have you heard?

Oh, nothing, nothing.
Just--

words like
dashing, suave...

thin.
[chuckles]

Silver-maned Adonis
squiring my wife about town.

Well, if I had got squired,
I think I would have known it.

You know, we did
a business deal, and that's it.

Anything else
is just a big rumor.

You know, we talked about
how to structure the buyout

and these pension things,
and these tax deals--

and the word debenture
kept coming up.

This is the kind of thing
he had to listen to?

See, that's why
nothing developed,

because he expected me
to listen to him.

So you're...available?

Squire away.

Wouldn't the lady
care to accompany me
to yon boudoir?

[phone ringing]

[rings]
Damn.

Hope that's not
the people tellin' us

to get away from
the front of their house.

Yeah. Hello?

What? No,
slow down, Jackie.

When? Yeah.
We'll be right there.

Dan, they took Darlene
to the hospital. Let's go.

Oh, sure.

Since when did you start
drinking coffee?

Today. Now.

Well, now's as good
a time as any, I guess.

Yeah, now I know what
all the fuss is about.

Hi.

What's goin' on?
Is Darlene okay?

Yeah, she's okay.
She was in a little
bit of pain

when we first got here,
but she's better now.

She's in with the doctor.

So where's the kids?
Where's David?

Mom's got the kids
at home,

and David
is still in Chicago.

Did you call him?
I tried to call him,

on both those numbers
that Darlene left,

and I can't get him.
Why doesn't he have
a pop-up pager?

Well, 'cause nothing was
supposed to happen by now.

He was gonna get one
in a couple of weeks.

Did the doctor say
anything about the baby?

No.
Oh, man.

Don't jump
to conclusions, Dan.

We just don't
know anything yet.

Hello, I'm Dr. Rudman.
Are you Darlene's parents?

Uh-huh.
What's going on?

Well, your daughter
went into labor,

but we've given her
a drug

to try to stop
the contractions.
Labor?

She's only seven months
pregnant.

That's way too early
to deliver.

That's why we're
trying to keep the baby

in the womb
as long as possible,

but so far, she seems
to be responding well
to the medication.

What about the baby?

We have your daughter
hooked up to a fetal monitor,

and all the signs
seem normal.

Well, thank God.

Yeah, um, how long
before they know anything?

We're gonna have to
keep her here overnight
for observation.

Don't be alarmed. This
happens all the time, okay?

She should be home
by tomorrow morning.

Oh, good. Okay,
so can we see her?

Yeah, sure, but only for
a couple of minutes, okay?

She needs the rest.
This way.

Come on, Deej.

Let's
enjoy that coffee.

Hey.

Hey. How you doing?

How does it look
like I'm doing?

What happened?

I-I don't know. I just
felt like I had the flu,

like kind of funky
and tired,

and then it just
kept getting worse.

Then these
contractions started.

Did you go into labor?

No, I mean-- They think
that it's like false labor.

Anyway, they gave me
drugs to take care of it.

And the doctor said
it's not too uncommon.

Yeah. Well, you don't
even look fat at all to me.

I don't know why
they even put you in here.

It's just probably
some insurance scam.

Yeah, you still look
like my little girl.

Minus the attitude.

But that'll come back
when the drugs wear off.

You can save the pep talk
for when Jerry gets
to Little League.

I mean, I know
what's going on here.

Well,
come on, Darlene.

You're pregnant
with a Conner.

You didn't expect it
to be a typical
pregnancy, did you?

Yeah, Conner kids usually
wait till they're 2 or 3

to give you
this much trouble.

Your child is
obviously gifted.

I just hope the baby's
gonna be okay.

Well, I know
you're scared, Darlene,

but I'm sure everything's
gonna be just fine.

Yeah. Believe me.

We're not gonna
let anything happen
to you or the baby.

I know. I just wish
I didn't have to be here.

Well, we wish you didn't
have to be here, too,

but, you know,
pregnancy, you go through
some tough times,

and then, in the end,
it's worth the trip.

Yeah, right. You said
the same thing about
driving to Gator World.

Yeah, but you got
a couple of T-shirts

and a hat
out of that, right?

I'm glad you guys are here.

Well, you know, I haven't
had any contractions
in a while, so maybe...

I could try to get
some sleep or something.

Oh, yeah.
We'll, uh...

We'll be outside.

How is she?

She's looking good.

She doesn't have any more
contractions for a while,

so she's going
to get some sleep.

Yeah, she's in good shape.

She's gotta stay here
overnight and everything,

but she'll be fine.

So she's definitely
coming home tomorrow?

D.J., doctors
never tell you
anything definitely.

That's how they keep
from getting sued.

Yeah, so you're not
going to miss any school

on account of it.

Come on D.J., let's go.

Call me
if you need anything.

Thanks, Jackie.

She's going
to be fine, honey.

I know it.

You want to do
a crossword puzzle, Dan?

Because the nurse up on 3

has got a whole bunch of them
behind her desk there.

No, thanks.

So why don't you go up
to the candy machine on 4?

Because that's the only one
that they ever restock.

Stay away from the one on 2.

They still got
Reggie Bars up there.

Hey, you really
know this place.

Well, did you forget?

I was here 24 hours a day
when you had your heart attack.

I remember.

No, I sort of remember.

Boy...

Having a kid in a hospital

sure puts all your stupid
little problems

in perspective.

It really does.

Like...you know,
I was really upset with you

about the whole nurse thing
there in the beginning,

but I want you to know
that I knew you'd be back, Dan.

I'm not going anywhere.

Good.

Ahem.

What floor did you say
had the best candy?

4.
I think I'll go up there
and see what they got.

Why don't you
just go home, Dan?

There's nothing else
you can do here now.

It's late, you're tired.

Now, when you say...home,

do you mean home
or back to the hotel or...

No, I mean home.
I-If that's where
you want--

No, of course that's
what I want if you want me.

Yeah, I do want you, Dan.

I love you, baby.

I love you, too.

Still not going home.

Well, then, you better
go round up enough candy

for the both of us.

Hey, which one
had that Reggie Bar?

2.

Uh, excuse me.

Excuse me,
Mr. and Mrs. Conner?

How's Darlene?

Can we take her home now?

Actually, I'm afraid
the contractions
have started again.

She's asking for you.
Oh, God.

Okay.

How you doing,
sweetheart?

Not so good.

Where's David?

I don't know.
He was on his way
home from Chicago.

Well, he probably
just got delayed.

I heard on the radio
there was a big backup
on the 290.

Oh, man.

Don't worry
about it, honey.

We're here for you.

Isn't there something
you should be doing for her?

Ahem.

Darlene, apparently,

the magnesium sulfate
that we gave you earlier

has stopped working.

Now, there is another drug
that we could try,

and it's called Ritodrine.

So give it to her.
What are you waiting for?

Yeah, go.

Well, this Ritodrine
can have

some very serious
side effects.

I want you to know,
if you take this drug,

we're going
to have to put you
on a cardiac monitor

because it can disrupt
your heart rhythm

and cause
some chest pains.

You could also have
shortness of breath,

fluid in the lungs,
and blood clotting.

It could even affect
your blood cell count.

Well, are there any
side effects for the baby?

Unfortunately, yes.

But considering
the alternative,

I don't see how we have
any real choice here.

We will be monitoring
the baby.

Well, then, let's do it.

Darlene, don't you want
to wait and talk to David?

Those are some pretty
serious side effects.

I don't care.

Unless one of the side
effects is death,

then I'm taking this stuff.

All I want to do
is save this baby.

Okay.
Then let's get started.

Hey, what if it--
what if this doesn't work?

Well, let's just
hope it does.

No, come on.
Just cut the crap here.

I just need to know
what's going to happen.

Mrs. Conner,
this is the drug
of last resort.

If it doesn't work,
she's going to have
to deliver the baby.

I'm sorry.

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA