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1
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Okay.
2
00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:45,511
So I'm a gay man with
a superhero fetish.
3
00:00:45,512 --> 00:00:47,111
Yes, we're out there.
4
00:00:47,112 --> 00:00:49,979
And, no, it doesn't have
anything to do with immaturity.
5
00:00:49,980 --> 00:00:52,112
I think we gay boys
learn important lessons
6
00:00:52,113 --> 00:00:53,713
from comic books.
7
00:00:53,714 --> 00:00:55,647
One... there are a lot
of villains out there,
8
00:00:55,648 --> 00:00:57,647
so you better develop
some secret powers.
9
00:00:57,648 --> 00:01:01,181
Two... if you have a good body,
you can wear tight clothes.
10
00:01:01,182 --> 00:01:05,350
And three... it's always good
to be part of a dynamic duo.
11
00:01:07,451 --> 00:01:09,550
- I totally blew it.
- Don't worry.
12
00:01:09,551 --> 00:01:11,451
There's still plenty of
creepy old men out there
13
00:01:11,452 --> 00:01:12,584
who'd love to get in your pants.
14
00:01:12,585 --> 00:01:14,218
He wasn't that old.
15
00:01:14,219 --> 00:01:15,952
He wasn't creepy. He was nice.
16
00:01:15,953 --> 00:01:17,152
My first doctor.
17
00:01:17,153 --> 00:01:18,219
Chiropractor.
18
00:01:18,220 --> 00:01:19,319
That counts...
19
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:20,353
I think.
20
00:01:20,354 --> 00:01:22,487
Uh, we got in the new Catwoman.
21
00:01:22,488 --> 00:01:24,488
Cool.
22
00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:30,389
He takes me to this
really nice restaurant.
23
00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:32,422
I behave like a fucking idiot...
24
00:01:32,423 --> 00:01:34,990
Dressed up like some slick asshole.
25
00:01:34,991 --> 00:01:37,191
Hey, that was my $1,200 leather jacket.
26
00:01:37,192 --> 00:01:40,125
It wasn't me.
27
00:01:40,126 --> 00:01:41,392
You know why? 'Cause I'm nobody.
28
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:43,425
That's my problem.
29
00:01:43,426 --> 00:01:45,059
Are you even listening to me?
30
00:01:45,060 --> 00:01:49,060
I tune out self-pity.
It makes my dick soft.
31
00:01:49,061 --> 00:01:52,327
And we wouldn't want that...
32
00:01:52,328 --> 00:01:54,495
Would we?
33
00:01:54,496 --> 00:01:55,962
Just forget I said anything.
34
00:01:57,030 --> 00:01:58,963
Oh, wow. Look.
35
00:01:58,964 --> 00:02:00,297
It's the new Electra woman doll.
36
00:02:00,298 --> 00:02:01,997
I'm going to buy this for Gus.
37
00:02:01,998 --> 00:02:02,998
Don't.
38
00:02:02,999 --> 00:02:04,664
I don't want a gay kid.
39
00:02:04,665 --> 00:02:06,665
He's being raised by two lesbians.
40
00:02:06,666 --> 00:02:08,565
He's going to need a feminine influence.
41
00:02:08,566 --> 00:02:13,567
Besides, it'll be a collector's item.
42
00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:14,600
Well, I'll take it.
43
00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:16,434
I'm going over there.
44
00:02:16,435 --> 00:02:17,468
I'll go too.
45
00:02:17,469 --> 00:02:19,935
No.
46
00:02:19,936 --> 00:02:23,235
You're going back to the doctor.
47
00:02:23,236 --> 00:02:26,204
Tell him you want to
give it another try.
48
00:02:42,108 --> 00:02:44,375
Does your mom know
you're out buying jewelry?
49
00:02:44,376 --> 00:02:46,174
She's totally cool with everything,
50
00:02:46,175 --> 00:02:48,075
or at least she's pretending
to be because she's scared
51
00:02:48,076 --> 00:02:50,043
I'll run away and become a hairdresser.
52
00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:51,076
I hate you.
53
00:02:51,077 --> 00:02:52,277
My mom's such a bitch,
54
00:02:52,278 --> 00:02:53,577
and I haven't even
given her a reason yet.
55
00:02:53,578 --> 00:02:55,278
How about these?
56
00:02:55,279 --> 00:02:57,578
- They're totally queer.
- Shut up.
57
00:02:57,579 --> 00:03:02,512
They're a symbol of our friendship.
58
00:03:02,513 --> 00:03:05,980
Okay. Thanks.
59
00:03:05,981 --> 00:03:08,614
Actually, I don't have any money.
60
00:03:08,615 --> 00:03:11,149
I had to buy a new fake I.D.
61
00:03:14,316 --> 00:03:16,850
Look! That's them...
62
00:03:16,851 --> 00:03:19,851
Brian's lesbians.
63
00:03:23,319 --> 00:03:24,518
Hey!
64
00:03:24,519 --> 00:03:26,052
Hey.
65
00:03:26,053 --> 00:03:27,085
How's it going?
66
00:03:27,086 --> 00:03:28,352
I'm sorry. Do we know you?
67
00:03:28,353 --> 00:03:30,819
I'm Justin...
68
00:03:30,820 --> 00:03:31,986
Brian's friend.
69
00:03:31,987 --> 00:03:33,854
I was there the night Gus was born.
70
00:03:33,855 --> 00:03:34,588
I named him.
71
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,855
- Yeah.
- Oh, right.
72
00:03:36,856 --> 00:03:38,455
So, when Gus ends up pumping gas,
73
00:03:38,456 --> 00:03:39,522
we'll have you to thank.
74
00:03:41,256 --> 00:03:43,390
- This is Daphne.
- Hi.
75
00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:46,024
I'm not a lesbian,
but I... I'm a big fan.
76
00:03:47,891 --> 00:03:49,191
He's gotten so big already.
77
00:03:49,192 --> 00:03:50,325
Oh, well, you would too
78
00:03:50,326 --> 00:03:51,859
if all you did was
sleep and eat all day.
79
00:03:51,860 --> 00:03:53,258
He does.
80
00:03:53,259 --> 00:03:54,825
He's, like, the cutest
baby I've ever seen.
81
00:03:54,826 --> 00:03:56,393
If you ever need a babysitter...
82
00:03:56,394 --> 00:03:58,127
Don't say that unless you mean it.
83
00:03:58,128 --> 00:04:00,260
And if you need any help
carrying stuff to the car,
84
00:04:00,261 --> 00:04:02,794
I'd be glad to be of assistance.
85
00:04:02,795 --> 00:04:07,229
Wow, you're good for 1,001 uses.
86
00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:08,329
I'll see you later?
87
00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:10,297
I don't know.
88
00:04:10,298 --> 00:04:11,397
I'm out.
89
00:04:11,398 --> 00:04:12,931
At work?
90
00:04:12,932 --> 00:04:14,364
That's fabulous.
91
00:04:14,365 --> 00:04:17,998
Out of the scene, I mean.
92
00:04:17,999 --> 00:04:19,365
I made up my mind...
93
00:04:19,366 --> 00:04:22,266
No more bars, no more
baths, no more clubs.
94
00:04:22,267 --> 00:04:24,300
You'll never see my
face at Babylon again.
95
00:04:24,301 --> 00:04:25,533
Oh, please.
96
00:04:25,534 --> 00:04:27,367
You can't let one
little drug-induced coma
97
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:28,501
get you down.
98
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:29,834
What do you think?
99
00:04:29,835 --> 00:04:32,069
You look unbelievably trashy.
100
00:04:32,070 --> 00:04:33,403
Talked me into it.
101
00:04:33,404 --> 00:04:34,770
I'll buy it.
102
00:04:34,771 --> 00:04:36,836
You missed my point entirely.
103
00:04:36,837 --> 00:04:38,938
Everything we do, even
the clothes we wear,
104
00:04:38,939 --> 00:04:41,004
is a conscious, or worse yet,
105
00:04:41,005 --> 00:04:42,505
unconscious attempt to get laid.
106
00:04:42,506 --> 00:04:43,805
Yes, it's true.
107
00:04:43,806 --> 00:04:45,439
There is an overemphasis on sex.
108
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:48,240
But why not buy two sizes
too small and go with it?
109
00:04:48,241 --> 00:04:50,073
Because, tragically,
110
00:04:50,074 --> 00:04:52,107
some of us were not born to wear Lycra.
111
00:04:52,108 --> 00:04:54,274
Here, check out the personals.
112
00:04:54,275 --> 00:04:57,409
Perhaps you'll find
someone to not go out with.
113
00:04:57,410 --> 00:04:59,809
You know, one thing I never
understood about these ads...
114
00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:02,510
Why is it always "tit
work" and "ass play"?
115
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,144
If you ask me, it's a lot harder to...
116
00:05:04,145 --> 00:05:06,978
Hey, look at this, at the center.
117
00:05:06,979 --> 00:05:08,345
"Date Bait...
118
00:05:08,346 --> 00:05:09,879
meet other single gay men
119
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,912
in a civilized evening of conversation.
120
00:05:11,913 --> 00:05:14,780
No pickups, no face-to-face rejection."
121
00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:16,514
They have an over-30 night.
122
00:05:16,515 --> 00:05:18,247
Where, at the morgue?
123
00:05:18,248 --> 00:05:20,214
Just for that, you're going with me.
124
00:05:20,215 --> 00:05:22,848
I am not over 30.
125
00:05:22,849 --> 00:05:26,783
And I am not going alone.
126
00:05:33,118 --> 00:05:35,851
I didn't realize we had
scheduled a follow-up visit.
127
00:05:35,852 --> 00:05:37,886
We didn't. I told them
it was an emergency.
128
00:05:37,887 --> 00:05:40,486
- What's the problem?
- I'm a jerk.
129
00:05:40,487 --> 00:05:42,286
Can you adjust that?
130
00:05:42,287 --> 00:05:46,088
Provided it's not a permanent condition.
131
00:05:46,089 --> 00:05:49,088
See, the thing is, I
don't date very often.
132
00:05:49,089 --> 00:05:51,755
You know, real "eat a meal, talk,
133
00:05:51,756 --> 00:05:54,823
stare into each other's
eyes" kind of dates.
134
00:05:54,824 --> 00:05:58,390
So I... I kind of freaked.
135
00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:02,125
And I'm sorry I was such an asshole.
136
00:06:02,126 --> 00:06:04,926
You weren't an asshole.
137
00:06:04,927 --> 00:06:08,160
Believe me, I've seen assholes and...
138
00:06:08,161 --> 00:06:11,061
I mean, uh...
139
00:06:11,062 --> 00:06:13,328
I feel shitty about it.
140
00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:14,828
And...
141
00:06:14,829 --> 00:06:16,395
I really like you.
142
00:06:16,396 --> 00:06:19,463
And I think you might
actually have liked me.
143
00:06:19,464 --> 00:06:20,997
I do like you.
144
00:06:20,998 --> 00:06:22,331
You do?
145
00:06:22,332 --> 00:06:24,164
Well...
146
00:06:24,165 --> 00:06:27,266
Do you think we could start over?
147
00:06:28,399 --> 00:06:31,400
Sit down.
148
00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:48,437
You're adorable, you know that?
149
00:06:54,772 --> 00:06:56,138
I got something for Gus.
150
00:06:59,140 --> 00:07:01,341
That's so sweet.
151
00:07:01,342 --> 00:07:04,941
We'll call Michael later to thank him.
152
00:07:06,409 --> 00:07:08,009
How long have you been drawing?
153
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:09,875
My mom brought me crayons
when I was still in the crib.
154
00:07:09,876 --> 00:07:11,743
- Hmm.
- I never stopped.
155
00:07:11,744 --> 00:07:13,010
What's he doing here?
156
00:07:13,011 --> 00:07:15,978
We ran into each other on the street.
157
00:07:15,979 --> 00:07:18,345
It was, like, this weird coincidence.
158
00:07:18,346 --> 00:07:21,045
I bet.
159
00:07:21,046 --> 00:07:24,946
You know, these are good.
160
00:07:24,947 --> 00:07:26,246
That's what my mom says.
161
00:07:26,247 --> 00:07:28,014
Lindsay's an art teacher.
162
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:29,247
For someone your age,
163
00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:31,381
you have an amazing
feel for the human form.
164
00:07:31,382 --> 00:07:33,982
I've noticed that myself.
165
00:07:33,983 --> 00:07:35,749
Look at this.
166
00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:37,316
Oh, don't show him.
167
00:07:37,317 --> 00:07:39,249
Oh.
168
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,284
Mmm.
169
00:07:41,285 --> 00:07:43,985
When did you draw that?
170
00:07:43,986 --> 00:07:45,418
When you were asleep.
171
00:07:45,419 --> 00:07:47,619
Ah, circumcised...
172
00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:49,086
Just like I thought.
173
00:07:49,087 --> 00:07:51,720
You know, there's going to
be an art show at the GLC.
174
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:52,820
What's that?
175
00:07:52,821 --> 00:07:55,721
The Gay and Lesbian Center...
176
00:07:55,722 --> 00:07:58,855
Safe haven for fags who can't get laid.
177
00:07:58,856 --> 00:08:00,623
You know, it might be good to get out
178
00:08:00,624 --> 00:08:03,656
and meet some nice
young men for a change.
179
00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:04,657
It's the annual fund-raiser.
180
00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:06,123
Melanie and I are on the board.
181
00:08:06,124 --> 00:08:08,224
Would you like to have
your work in the show?
182
00:08:08,225 --> 00:08:10,358
You mean people seeing my stuff?
183
00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:13,292
- Yeah.
- That'd be intense.
184
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,059
But, yeah.
185
00:08:15,060 --> 00:08:16,393
Good.
186
00:08:16,394 --> 00:08:20,194
Give him some activities,
so he'll stop stalking me.
187
00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:22,728
Don't flatter yourself.
188
00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:26,629
We like Justin.
189
00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:28,062
Justin can stay.
190
00:08:28,063 --> 00:08:30,296
We'll make sure everyone comes,
191
00:08:30,297 --> 00:08:31,930
including you.
192
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:34,664
Write down the numbers
193
00:08:34,665 --> 00:08:36,131
of the men you're interested in.
194
00:08:36,132 --> 00:08:38,298
And if the computer matches you up,
195
00:08:38,299 --> 00:08:40,099
you have to go out on a date.
196
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:41,599
Those are the rules.
197
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,634
Hi. Uh, my name is Bruce.
198
00:08:44,635 --> 00:08:46,101
I'm a little nervous.
199
00:08:46,102 --> 00:08:48,001
I only came out about a year ago.
200
00:08:48,002 --> 00:08:50,735
I like, uh, Ben &
Jerry's Chubby Hubby...
201
00:08:50,736 --> 00:08:53,702
I teach piano and voice
at Carnegie Mellon.
202
00:08:53,703 --> 00:08:55,836
And watching Frasier.
203
00:08:55,837 --> 00:08:57,703
My friend made me come.
204
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:01,571
I'm looking for a nice
guy who likes chihuahuas.
205
00:09:01,572 --> 00:09:02,904
I have three.
206
00:09:02,905 --> 00:09:06,572
My boyfriend would kill me if he knew.
207
00:09:06,573 --> 00:09:09,173
And I have a Speedo fetish...
208
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,073
Especially red and teal.
209
00:09:11,074 --> 00:09:15,341
I recently went home
with this very cute boy
210
00:09:15,342 --> 00:09:17,075
that I met at Babylon.
211
00:09:17,076 --> 00:09:18,842
Uh, he had some drugs.
212
00:09:18,843 --> 00:09:21,176
I also conduct the
local gay men's chorus.
213
00:09:21,177 --> 00:09:23,910
I hope you'll all come
to our upcoming concert.
214
00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:27,344
I wanted to seem young
and sexy, so I took some,
215
00:09:27,345 --> 00:09:29,811
and I ended up in a coma.
216
00:09:29,812 --> 00:09:31,212
And, uh...
217
00:09:31,213 --> 00:09:35,647
And I would love someone to
come home to after rehearsal.
218
00:09:35,648 --> 00:09:38,980
Now I'm looking for a relationship
219
00:09:38,981 --> 00:09:41,048
based on something real.
220
00:09:41,049 --> 00:09:42,814
And I thought maybe there
might be someone here
221
00:09:42,815 --> 00:09:44,281
who's looking for the same thing.
222
00:09:44,282 --> 00:09:47,117
And, uh, that's all.
223
00:09:50,585 --> 00:09:53,284
Faggots, faggots everywhere
and not a drop to drink.
224
00:09:53,285 --> 00:09:55,251
I can honestly say I
have no desire to have sex
225
00:09:55,252 --> 00:09:57,685
with any of these people.
226
00:09:57,686 --> 00:10:00,020
Me neither.
227
00:10:01,754 --> 00:10:04,955
It's a start.
228
00:10:10,823 --> 00:10:13,056
I've never seen so many comic books.
229
00:10:13,057 --> 00:10:14,890
That's what everybody I bring home s...
230
00:10:14,891 --> 00:10:17,591
I mean, people have told me that.
231
00:10:17,592 --> 00:10:19,991
Mm-hmm.
232
00:10:19,992 --> 00:10:22,592
Who's the big fella?
233
00:10:22,593 --> 00:10:25,559
Captain Astro.
234
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,960
Um, my friend Emmett...
He's staying with me.
235
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,260
It was supposed to be a temporary thing,
236
00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:30,827
but he's become sort of a squatter.
237
00:10:30,828 --> 00:10:34,128
He may come home at any
time. So, sorry about that.
238
00:10:34,129 --> 00:10:38,262
You don't have to
apologize for everything.
239
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,263
I know.
240
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,830
I do that. I'm sorry.
241
00:10:41,831 --> 00:10:43,930
Um...
242
00:10:43,931 --> 00:10:45,498
Do you want anything...
243
00:10:45,499 --> 00:10:48,798
Um, juice, beer?
244
00:10:48,799 --> 00:10:50,867
I don't have any wine.
245
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,240
Slow.
246
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:04,792
Hi, guys. You know what you'd like?
247
00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:05,958
Um...
248
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:09,759
I'll have the bacon cheeseburger,
249
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:10,760
medium fries,
250
00:12:10,761 --> 00:12:13,860
and, uh, a Pepsi.
251
00:12:13,861 --> 00:12:15,894
Okay.
252
00:12:15,895 --> 00:12:19,462
Uh, I'll have the,
uh... the grilled tuna
253
00:12:19,463 --> 00:12:23,196
and um... I, uh...
254
00:12:23,197 --> 00:12:26,230
- Just... I'll ha... I'll have water.
- Oh, come on, live a little.
255
00:12:26,231 --> 00:12:27,864
I can tell you've been denying yourself
256
00:12:27,865 --> 00:12:30,466
for way too long.
257
00:12:32,366 --> 00:12:33,899
All right, give me what he's having.
258
00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:35,900
Okay, coming right up.
259
00:12:42,235 --> 00:12:44,501
He has a nice smile.
260
00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:46,436
Among other attributes.
261
00:12:46,437 --> 00:12:48,169
I'm sure he's a fine person.
262
00:12:48,170 --> 00:12:51,503
Rhodes scholar would be my guess.
263
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,637
You know, ordinarily,
I'd be wracking my brain
264
00:12:53,638 --> 00:12:54,904
to come up with some pathetic line
265
00:12:54,905 --> 00:12:56,337
for when he comes back, like, uh,
266
00:12:56,338 --> 00:12:57,805
"I haven't seen you here
before. Are you new?"
267
00:12:57,806 --> 00:13:00,238
Or, uh, "do I know you from somewhere?
268
00:13:00,239 --> 00:13:02,239
No? Must be in a dream."
269
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,207
"So when did they start
hiring models here?"
270
00:13:05,208 --> 00:13:07,240
You're worse than I am.
271
00:13:07,241 --> 00:13:08,741
You want me to go to the men's room,
272
00:13:08,742 --> 00:13:10,542
so you can take a crack at him or... ?
273
00:13:10,543 --> 00:13:12,375
Oh, God, no!
274
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,376
It never worked anyway...
275
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,643
All that useless flirting.
276
00:13:15,644 --> 00:13:19,177
It is such a relief to
be out of that world.
277
00:13:19,178 --> 00:13:21,445
I have a confession to make.
278
00:13:21,446 --> 00:13:23,845
I didn't go to Date Bait
just to drum up an audience
279
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,279
for our 500th Sondheim concert.
280
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:27,379
I had a feeling.
281
00:13:27,380 --> 00:13:29,613
I was hoping that I would find someone
282
00:13:29,614 --> 00:13:30,614
I could connect to.
283
00:13:30,615 --> 00:13:32,347
Someone appropriate.
284
00:13:32,348 --> 00:13:33,381
Exactly.
285
00:13:33,382 --> 00:13:36,315
Someone appropriate.
286
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,348
Well...
287
00:13:38,349 --> 00:13:42,817
I say let's get to
know each other and...
288
00:13:42,818 --> 00:13:44,783
See what happens.
289
00:13:44,784 --> 00:13:46,217
Take it slow.
290
00:13:46,218 --> 00:13:48,851
I always preferred
andante to presto anyway.
291
00:13:49,886 --> 00:13:51,718
Okay, boys...
292
00:13:51,719 --> 00:13:54,754
These'll help cool you down.
293
00:13:58,488 --> 00:14:00,588
27 minutes on my nipples...
294
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,188
I clocked it.
295
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:05,355
I mean, I expected him to
know what to do with his hands,
296
00:14:05,356 --> 00:14:06,489
'cause that's his business,
297
00:14:06,490 --> 00:14:10,223
but he has the most talented tongue.
298
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,424
Every time I came...
299
00:14:11,425 --> 00:14:13,291
"Every time"?
300
00:14:13,292 --> 00:14:17,158
He would just keep on going...
301
00:14:17,159 --> 00:14:19,759
Licking me everywhere.
302
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,626
I once knew a guy who
could tie a cherry stem
303
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:23,227
into a knot with his tongue.
304
00:14:23,228 --> 00:14:25,093
I was afraid to let him blow me.
305
00:14:25,094 --> 00:14:26,227
27 minutes?
306
00:14:26,228 --> 00:14:29,495
Was that 13 1/2 on each nipple, or...
307
00:14:29,496 --> 00:14:33,095
16 right, 11 left.
308
00:14:33,096 --> 00:14:35,663
Yeah, that's probably how
long it takes him to get it up.
309
00:14:35,664 --> 00:14:36,831
I wouldn't know.
310
00:14:36,832 --> 00:14:38,564
I never saw it when it was down.
311
00:14:38,565 --> 00:14:41,498
Another Viagra success story.
312
00:14:41,499 --> 00:14:43,365
So are you bringing
him to Woody's tonight?
313
00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:45,432
He's not really into the bar scene.
314
00:14:46,368 --> 00:14:48,366
Well, what is he into?
315
00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:49,800
His life.
316
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,434
Like the guy I met.
317
00:14:51,435 --> 00:14:53,468
You met someone?
318
00:14:53,469 --> 00:14:55,368
He's very nice,
319
00:14:55,369 --> 00:14:57,602
very intelligent, very interesting.
320
00:14:57,603 --> 00:14:59,503
Is he a top or a bottom?
321
00:14:59,504 --> 00:15:02,037
You know, not everybody judges people
322
00:15:02,038 --> 00:15:03,103
by your criteria, okay?
323
00:15:03,104 --> 00:15:04,571
Roger and I...
324
00:15:04,572 --> 00:15:05,505
Roger?
325
00:15:05,506 --> 00:15:07,371
Roger and I have decided
326
00:15:07,372 --> 00:15:10,039
to get to know each
other before we have sex.
327
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,473
What do you think you are... Lesbians?
328
00:15:13,474 --> 00:15:15,407
It's like The Mirror Has Two Faces.
329
00:15:15,408 --> 00:15:17,241
No. No, it is, because Barbra
330
00:15:17,242 --> 00:15:19,374
plays an unattractive
professor... no offense...
331
00:15:19,375 --> 00:15:20,441
who marries Jeff Bridges
332
00:15:20,442 --> 00:15:21,708
because neither one
of them can handle sex.
333
00:15:21,709 --> 00:15:23,776
But of course Barbra gets horny because,
334
00:15:23,777 --> 00:15:25,709
hello, Jeff's such a dreamboat.
335
00:15:25,810 --> 00:15:27,710
So she hops on a StairMaster
for, like, two minutes,
336
00:15:27,711 --> 00:15:28,743
eats a carrot stick, and then, poof!
337
00:15:28,744 --> 00:15:30,211
She's gorgeous.
338
00:15:30,212 --> 00:15:33,111
Then she comes in dressed
like the hooker in Nuts,
339
00:15:33,112 --> 00:15:34,712
and, of course, Jeff's
willing to fuck her.
340
00:15:34,713 --> 00:15:39,179
And, um, they dance in the street.
341
00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:40,746
And she still wasn't nominated.
342
00:15:40,747 --> 00:15:43,080
You know, you do it right away,
343
00:15:43,081 --> 00:15:45,681
or you don't do it at all.
344
00:15:45,682 --> 00:15:50,349
I'm happy for you, Mikey.
345
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:53,051
The fuck he is.
346
00:15:54,384 --> 00:15:57,184
Justin, Daphne's here.
347
00:15:57,185 --> 00:15:59,785
- Molly...
- We're going to be late.
348
00:15:59,786 --> 00:16:02,185
Hey, look...
349
00:16:02,186 --> 00:16:05,119
Justin told me how great
you're being about everything.
350
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,020
And I just want to say
I think he's really lucky
351
00:16:07,021 --> 00:16:08,487
to have such an understanding mom.
352
00:16:08,488 --> 00:16:10,287
Well, I'm trying.
353
00:16:10,288 --> 00:16:11,754
Yeah, well, it must be hard,
354
00:16:11,755 --> 00:16:13,622
'cause my family... I'm black,
355
00:16:13,623 --> 00:16:14,989
my parents are black.
356
00:16:14,990 --> 00:16:17,289
We're all black, you know what I mean?
357
00:16:17,290 --> 00:16:19,490
I think so.
358
00:16:19,491 --> 00:16:21,624
Oh. Did you see the flyer?
359
00:16:21,625 --> 00:16:24,191
- What flyer?
- For the art show.
360
00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:25,592
His name's really big.
361
00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:27,625
Would you come on already?
362
00:16:27,626 --> 00:16:30,559
Gay and lesbian cent...
When did this happen?
363
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,494
Oh, my God. You mean he didn't...
364
00:16:32,495 --> 00:16:34,494
He doesn't tell me much these days.
365
00:16:34,495 --> 00:16:37,094
Oh, promise you won't
tell him I told you,
366
00:16:37,095 --> 00:16:38,294
or he'll stop telling me.
367
00:16:38,295 --> 00:16:39,628
You don't have to yell.
368
00:16:39,629 --> 00:16:42,362
I heard you the first time.
369
00:16:42,363 --> 00:16:44,363
And I don't know when I'll be back.
370
00:16:44,364 --> 00:16:45,630
Justin!
371
00:16:47,531 --> 00:16:49,498
Be careful.
372
00:16:49,499 --> 00:16:53,232
Chris, pass me that hammer.
373
00:16:53,233 --> 00:16:54,465
You're really good at that.
374
00:16:54,466 --> 00:16:56,199
Thanks.
375
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,633
I like you guys' bracelets.
376
00:16:57,634 --> 00:16:58,967
Oh, they're for friendship.
377
00:16:58,968 --> 00:17:00,634
I mean, he's not my
boyfriend or anything.
378
00:17:00,635 --> 00:17:02,501
I figured.
379
00:17:02,502 --> 00:17:04,168
You can tell I'm gay?
380
00:17:04,169 --> 00:17:07,102
Well, you're here, aren't you?
381
00:17:07,103 --> 00:17:09,436
I'm heading on down to
the diner to get a soda.
382
00:17:09,437 --> 00:17:11,237
You want to come?
383
00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:13,403
Sure.
384
00:17:13,404 --> 00:17:15,971
What... What are you doing?
385
00:17:15,972 --> 00:17:17,204
She thinks you're a lesbian.
386
00:17:17,205 --> 00:17:20,172
Well, can't I be one
of the cool people too?
387
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,305
You're a freak.
388
00:17:24,641 --> 00:17:27,174
You know, you have real talent.
389
00:17:27,175 --> 00:17:29,241
- Really?
- You should develop it...
390
00:17:29,242 --> 00:17:30,375
Maybe go to art school.
391
00:17:30,376 --> 00:17:31,642
I've been thinking about that.
392
00:17:31,643 --> 00:17:33,342
Well, if you ever need
a recommendation...
393
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:35,543
Thanks.
394
00:17:35,544 --> 00:17:39,377
Do you think Brian's going to come?
395
00:17:39,378 --> 00:17:42,144
Don't expect too much from him, okay?
396
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:44,612
What's too much?
397
00:17:44,613 --> 00:17:46,446
Anything at all.
398
00:17:46,447 --> 00:17:48,045
You'll have lots of
relationships, Justin,
399
00:17:48,046 --> 00:17:50,313
with lots of interesting people.
400
00:17:50,314 --> 00:17:54,181
I know you don't believe
that right now, but you will.
401
00:17:54,182 --> 00:17:56,348
I just want him to
see his picture framed,
402
00:17:56,349 --> 00:17:59,449
that's all.
403
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,118
Are you sure you want to do this?
404
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:13,585
Yeah, why not?
405
00:18:13,586 --> 00:18:17,154
Get a taste of your world,
see what I'm saving you from.
406
00:18:18,622 --> 00:18:21,355
♪ This is what I feel ♪
407
00:18:21,356 --> 00:18:25,055
♪ do you think that you can take ♪
408
00:18:25,056 --> 00:18:26,023
♪ everything... ♪
409
00:18:26,024 --> 00:18:28,489
Just the same as I remember it.
410
00:18:28,490 --> 00:18:31,457
Even the guys look the same.
411
00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:33,057
Why'd you stop?
412
00:18:33,058 --> 00:18:36,324
It wasn't for me. And I met someone.
413
00:18:36,325 --> 00:18:37,492
Oh.
414
00:18:37,493 --> 00:18:40,260
Yeah, we were together almost six years.
415
00:18:40,261 --> 00:18:42,093
Wow.
416
00:18:42,094 --> 00:18:45,327
So who left who?
417
00:18:45,328 --> 00:18:48,295
He died.
418
00:18:48,296 --> 00:18:49,529
I'm sorry.
419
00:18:49,530 --> 00:18:51,529
Nobody's fault.
420
00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:53,896
Hi.
421
00:18:53,897 --> 00:18:56,630
So is, uh... is this
the famous chiropractor?
422
00:18:56,631 --> 00:18:58,964
David, this is Emmett.
423
00:18:58,965 --> 00:19:01,598
- Hi, Emmett.
- Hello, gorgeous.
424
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:04,899
So, um... So I've, uh...
425
00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:06,199
I've got a little
tightness right in here...
426
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:07,101
One place I don't need it.
427
00:19:07,102 --> 00:19:08,433
Would you mind?
428
00:19:08,434 --> 00:19:10,500
I wouldn't mind at all if
you made an appointment.
429
00:19:10,501 --> 00:19:13,101
Well, it's worth a shot.
430
00:19:13,102 --> 00:19:14,334
Where's Ted?
431
00:19:14,335 --> 00:19:16,968
Out with the Pillsbury Doughboy.
432
00:19:16,969 --> 00:19:18,202
Oh, my God.
433
00:19:18,203 --> 00:19:19,536
That guy over there looks exactly
434
00:19:19,537 --> 00:19:21,870
like Matthew McConaughey.
435
00:19:21,871 --> 00:19:25,638
Maybe he smokes pot naked. Excuse me.
436
00:19:26,972 --> 00:19:28,505
He doesn't hold anything back, huh?
437
00:19:28,506 --> 00:19:33,207
He was toning it down for you.
438
00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:39,375
Where the fuck have you been?
439
00:19:39,376 --> 00:19:41,475
Brian, this is David.
440
00:19:41,476 --> 00:19:43,409
Oh, fuck me, the new beau.
441
00:19:43,410 --> 00:19:45,109
I've heard a lot about you.
442
00:19:45,110 --> 00:19:46,843
And I've heard a lot about you too.
443
00:19:46,844 --> 00:19:51,011
16 right, 11 left.
444
00:19:51,012 --> 00:19:52,878
- Excuse me?
- Nothing.
445
00:19:52,879 --> 00:19:55,012
You're tweaked, what are you on?
446
00:19:55,013 --> 00:19:57,045
Oh, "E," "K," GHB...
447
00:19:57,046 --> 00:19:59,046
Most of the letters on Sesame Street.
448
00:19:59,047 --> 00:20:00,580
You're going to get dehydrated
taking all that shit.
449
00:20:00,581 --> 00:20:02,080
I'm going to get you some water.
450
00:20:02,081 --> 00:20:04,515
- Want a beer?
- Sure.
451
00:20:07,949 --> 00:20:10,016
Well, you've got him well trained.
452
00:20:10,017 --> 00:20:13,983
Well, he takes care of
me, and I take care of him.
453
00:20:13,984 --> 00:20:16,984
So, Doc...
454
00:20:16,985 --> 00:20:20,451
Do you fuck all of your patients?
455
00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:22,452
Well, if you're referring to Michael,
456
00:20:22,453 --> 00:20:27,387
I released him from my care
before we went out together.
457
00:20:28,421 --> 00:20:30,921
What about you? What do you do?
458
00:20:30,922 --> 00:20:32,388
Advertising.
459
00:20:32,389 --> 00:20:34,489
Well, you must know a thing or two
460
00:20:34,490 --> 00:20:36,822
about screwing people yourself.
461
00:20:36,823 --> 00:20:38,557
Yeah, I could do it in my sleep.
462
00:20:38,558 --> 00:20:40,823
I bet you could.
463
00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:43,257
You know, Dave,
464
00:20:43,258 --> 00:20:46,091
what's weird about you meeting Mikey...
465
00:20:46,092 --> 00:20:47,225
"Mikey"?
466
00:20:47,226 --> 00:20:50,126
Is that we usually meet guys together.
467
00:20:50,127 --> 00:20:53,459
And they usually end up with you.
468
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,460
The lucky ones.
469
00:20:55,461 --> 00:20:58,461
Debatable.
470
00:20:58,462 --> 00:21:03,362
- So what'd I miss?
- Nothing special.
471
00:21:11,983 --> 00:21:13,382
Okay.
472
00:21:13,383 --> 00:21:16,816
Identify my favorite aria of all time,
473
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,016
and you instantly become
my new favorite person.
474
00:21:19,017 --> 00:21:21,817
Oh, well, thanks for not
putting any pressure on me.
475
00:21:28,219 --> 00:21:29,886
Clemenza Di Tito,
476
00:21:29,887 --> 00:21:32,686
Sesto's aria, act two.
477
00:21:32,687 --> 00:21:34,120
Come on, give me a tough one.
478
00:21:34,121 --> 00:21:36,854
Okay, stop trying to
make me fall for you.
479
00:21:36,855 --> 00:21:38,688
Who's trying?
480
00:21:38,689 --> 00:21:39,855
You are the first person
481
00:21:39,856 --> 00:21:42,222
I've met in Pittsburgh
who knows Sesto's aria.
482
00:21:42,223 --> 00:21:44,656
I'm the only other person who knows.
483
00:21:44,657 --> 00:21:47,223
You know, when I was a kid,
484
00:21:47,224 --> 00:21:50,725
I used to pretend I was
sick on Saturday afternoons
485
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,058
so I could skip little league
486
00:21:52,059 --> 00:21:54,592
and listen to the Met Opera
broadcasts on the radio.
487
00:21:54,593 --> 00:21:55,759
I wish I'd known you.
488
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,994
We could've listened together.
489
00:22:05,696 --> 00:22:08,263
Is, uh... is this allowed?
490
00:22:08,264 --> 00:22:10,963
Yeah.
491
00:22:10,964 --> 00:22:13,963
Only, uh...
492
00:22:13,964 --> 00:22:17,298
I'm not quite ready yet.
493
00:22:17,299 --> 00:22:18,965
It's okay.
494
00:22:18,966 --> 00:22:20,932
But I will be soon.
495
00:22:20,933 --> 00:22:23,766
And, uh...
496
00:22:23,767 --> 00:22:25,934
I have a feeling it's going to be great.
497
00:22:39,238 --> 00:22:41,237
You had a hideous time, I can tell.
498
00:22:42,872 --> 00:22:45,305
Ah, I don't mind going
out once in a while.
499
00:22:45,306 --> 00:22:47,572
Are you implying that I'm a scene queen?
500
00:22:47,573 --> 00:22:49,273
You are a scene queen.
501
00:22:49,274 --> 00:22:51,673
We're in Pittsburgh. There is no scene.
502
00:22:51,674 --> 00:22:53,741
Yeah, so what's the big attraction?
503
00:22:53,742 --> 00:22:55,275
Well, if you don't go
out, you don't meet people.
504
00:22:55,276 --> 00:22:57,842
- You met me.
- Rare exception.
505
00:22:57,843 --> 00:22:59,742
- Besides, my friends are here.
- Your friends?
506
00:22:59,743 --> 00:23:00,976
Some friends.
507
00:23:00,977 --> 00:23:02,810
Your friend Brian tried to hit on me.
508
00:23:02,811 --> 00:23:03,976
He did not.
509
00:23:03,977 --> 00:23:05,777
I've been around the block.
510
00:23:05,778 --> 00:23:08,745
He's always like that.
Besides, he was high.
511
00:23:08,746 --> 00:23:10,812
- I'm just telling you.
- He wouldn't.
512
00:23:10,813 --> 00:23:13,014
He did.
513
00:23:15,047 --> 00:23:17,246
Shit.
514
00:23:17,247 --> 00:23:19,014
Well, he can't have you.
515
00:23:19,015 --> 00:23:21,182
You're mine.
516
00:23:30,018 --> 00:23:31,951
Whoo!
517
00:23:40,620 --> 00:23:43,120
I told you, I'm not going.
518
00:23:43,121 --> 00:23:45,087
I promised him you'd be there.
519
00:23:45,088 --> 00:23:47,721
Well, you should stop making
promises that I can't keep.
520
00:23:47,722 --> 00:23:49,222
Hey, don't be a shit.
521
00:23:49,223 --> 00:23:51,189
I'm trying to clean
up some of your mess.
522
00:23:51,190 --> 00:23:54,123
Look, he's the one that
threw himself at me.
523
00:23:54,124 --> 00:23:55,223
I've been trying to get rid of him.
524
00:23:55,224 --> 00:23:57,824
Tell it to the judge.
525
00:23:57,825 --> 00:24:01,091
When did you start sounding
like your girlfriend?
526
00:24:01,092 --> 00:24:03,992
It's time you became
part of the community.
527
00:24:03,993 --> 00:24:06,892
Look, just because I fuck guys
528
00:24:06,893 --> 00:24:08,960
does not mean I'm
part of some community.
529
00:24:08,961 --> 00:24:10,661
And it doesn't mean I
have anything in common
530
00:24:10,662 --> 00:24:12,694
with someone else who does.
531
00:24:12,695 --> 00:24:13,727
You know, it's more than that.
532
00:24:13,728 --> 00:24:15,795
We need to take care of each other.
533
00:24:15,796 --> 00:24:17,728
I don't need to take care of anyone.
534
00:24:17,729 --> 00:24:19,996
And I don't need anyone
to take care of me.
535
00:24:19,997 --> 00:24:21,263
One day you might.
536
00:24:22,265 --> 00:24:24,497
Fuck groups.
537
00:24:24,498 --> 00:24:26,164
I thought you did.
538
00:24:26,165 --> 00:24:27,998
Occasionally.
539
00:24:27,999 --> 00:24:32,234
But it's by invitation only.
540
00:24:52,605 --> 00:24:53,905
Did you see this?
541
00:24:53,906 --> 00:24:55,172
They're charging $100
542
00:24:55,173 --> 00:24:56,705
for every one of your drawings.
543
00:24:56,706 --> 00:24:58,206
You could be rich.
544
00:24:58,207 --> 00:24:59,573
It's a charity.
545
00:24:59,574 --> 00:25:01,474
I don't get to keep it.
546
00:25:01,475 --> 00:25:03,674
Still.
547
00:25:03,675 --> 00:25:07,142
And would you stop watching the door?
548
00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:13,710
He plays beautifully, doesn't he?
549
00:25:13,711 --> 00:25:15,443
I'm all a-tingle.
550
00:25:15,444 --> 00:25:18,978
- So have you two had sex yet?
- No!
551
00:25:18,979 --> 00:25:20,779
Would you keep your voice down?
552
00:25:20,780 --> 00:25:22,579
Well, when are you?
553
00:25:23,947 --> 00:25:25,813
When we both know it's
the right thing to do.
554
00:25:25,814 --> 00:25:28,913
Sex is never the right thing to do.
555
00:25:28,914 --> 00:25:31,215
Feeding the poor is
the right thing to do.
556
00:25:31,216 --> 00:25:33,014
Hiring the handicapped
is the right thing to do.
557
00:25:33,015 --> 00:25:34,582
- Donating blood is the right...
- All right, all right.
558
00:25:34,583 --> 00:25:36,049
You made your point.
559
00:25:36,050 --> 00:25:37,983
Everyone loves your drawings.
560
00:25:37,984 --> 00:25:39,850
- You guys check out the food?
- I'm not hungry.
561
00:25:39,851 --> 00:25:41,450
Okay. How about the cute guys?
562
00:25:41,451 --> 00:25:44,752
There's some right over
there just about your age.
563
00:25:49,420 --> 00:25:51,420
He's here.
564
00:25:51,421 --> 00:25:53,954
Hmm. Yippee.
565
00:25:53,955 --> 00:25:57,021
Well, aren't you going to go over there?
566
00:25:57,022 --> 00:25:59,555
Are you crazy?
567
00:25:59,556 --> 00:26:02,522
Thanks for coming.
568
00:26:02,523 --> 00:26:05,024
Whatever.
569
00:26:07,692 --> 00:26:09,125
Where's the back room?
570
00:26:12,893 --> 00:26:15,459
Lindsay, this is David.
571
00:26:15,460 --> 00:26:17,626
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
572
00:26:17,627 --> 00:26:19,827
Whoo! Michael.
573
00:26:21,095 --> 00:26:23,094
Let's go check out the
vagina sculptures first,
574
00:26:23,095 --> 00:26:25,629
get it over with.
575
00:26:30,464 --> 00:26:32,964
The famous artiste.
576
00:26:32,965 --> 00:26:34,130
Oh, did you see my stuff?
577
00:26:34,131 --> 00:26:35,664
No, I had to get a drink first.
578
00:26:35,665 --> 00:26:38,432
It's over there...
579
00:26:38,433 --> 00:26:41,000
In case you're interested.
580
00:26:57,604 --> 00:26:59,605
Psst.
581
00:27:01,072 --> 00:27:04,705
I think the artist has
taken some liberties.
582
00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:06,772
Oh, that's a perfect likeness.
583
00:27:06,773 --> 00:27:09,873
Come on, it was never that big.
584
00:27:09,874 --> 00:27:12,707
Hey, you haven't seen it in a long time.
585
00:27:12,708 --> 00:27:13,708
I haven't seen Gone with the Wind
586
00:27:13,709 --> 00:27:14,774
in a long time either,
587
00:27:14,775 --> 00:27:17,575
but I know it's still 3 1/2 hours.
588
00:27:17,576 --> 00:27:19,442
The Brian and Michael Show...
589
00:27:19,443 --> 00:27:21,076
Blah, blah, blah.
590
00:27:21,077 --> 00:27:25,377
Stuck in perpetual reruns.
591
00:27:25,378 --> 00:27:28,978
Is it always like that...
Michael running after him?
592
00:27:28,979 --> 00:27:32,012
It's the greatest love
story never told, trust me.
593
00:27:32,013 --> 00:27:33,813
What was your name?
594
00:27:33,814 --> 00:27:34,846
David.
595
00:27:34,847 --> 00:27:35,847
Melanie.
596
00:27:35,848 --> 00:27:37,447
Trust me, David,
597
00:27:37,448 --> 00:27:38,981
long after you're gone,
he'll still have Michael...
598
00:27:38,982 --> 00:27:41,448
Brian's little acolyte, poor guy.
599
00:27:41,449 --> 00:27:42,915
Oh, but don't worry.
Michael can wait forever.
600
00:27:42,916 --> 00:27:45,015
Brian'll never fuck
him. Pardon my French.
601
00:27:45,016 --> 00:27:47,415
By the way, I heard you
hit on David last night.
602
00:27:48,684 --> 00:27:49,984
I couldn't have been that high.
603
00:27:49,985 --> 00:27:52,884
You were. And you did.
604
00:27:52,885 --> 00:27:54,417
I was testing him.
605
00:27:54,418 --> 00:27:56,585
I wanted to see if he'd drop
you the first chance he got.
606
00:27:56,586 --> 00:27:59,086
Oh, yeah, right.
607
00:27:59,087 --> 00:28:02,053
Aren't I always looking out for you?
608
00:28:02,054 --> 00:28:04,587
You're just jealous because
somebody finally thinks
609
00:28:04,588 --> 00:28:07,854
I'm hot or something.
610
00:28:07,855 --> 00:28:09,855
You are hot or something.
611
00:28:09,856 --> 00:28:12,055
I've been telling you
that since you were 14.
612
00:28:12,056 --> 00:28:15,024
But you won't believe me.
613
00:28:18,458 --> 00:28:21,992
So I suppose I just keep him
company while Michael waits.
614
00:28:21,993 --> 00:28:22,959
Oh...
615
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:24,726
Oh, shit!
616
00:28:24,727 --> 00:28:28,360
- Oh, you're with Michael.
- Yeah.
617
00:28:28,361 --> 00:28:30,027
Um, oh, Jesus,
618
00:28:30,028 --> 00:28:31,461
I, um... I'm... I'm sorry.
619
00:28:31,462 --> 00:28:32,828
I... I didn't mean that. I... I mean...
620
00:28:32,829 --> 00:28:34,961
Well, I mean, Brian's the one
621
00:28:34,962 --> 00:28:36,629
that's always showing
up with some new guy,
622
00:28:36,630 --> 00:28:38,595
so I just assumed that, um...
623
00:28:38,596 --> 00:28:40,029
Don't worry about it.
624
00:28:40,030 --> 00:28:41,830
Well, you know that...
625
00:28:41,831 --> 00:28:43,897
They love each other as
friends, but that's it.
626
00:28:43,898 --> 00:28:45,497
That's really... That's all it is.
627
00:28:45,498 --> 00:28:46,797
Really?
628
00:28:46,798 --> 00:28:48,798
It's not like I didn't know.
629
00:28:48,799 --> 00:28:51,533
Do you want a shrimp ball?
630
00:28:51,534 --> 00:28:53,599
No.
631
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:55,668
Thanks.
632
00:29:09,538 --> 00:29:13,738
Now, that's what I call a piece...
633
00:29:13,739 --> 00:29:14,905
Of art.
634
00:29:16,506 --> 00:29:18,640
I've always admired creative people.
635
00:29:18,641 --> 00:29:21,873
You're pretty creative
yourself there, missy.
636
00:29:21,874 --> 00:29:25,475
Not me.
637
00:29:25,476 --> 00:29:28,341
But Michael... He's got a gift.
638
00:29:28,342 --> 00:29:29,942
I didn't know he could draw.
639
00:29:29,943 --> 00:29:31,676
Oh, he can't.
640
00:29:31,677 --> 00:29:33,809
I bought him tracing
paper when he was a kid
641
00:29:33,810 --> 00:29:35,544
so he could copy his comic books.
642
00:29:35,545 --> 00:29:37,710
His Spider-man always ended up
643
00:29:37,711 --> 00:29:39,945
looking more like Little Orphan Annie.
644
00:29:39,946 --> 00:29:42,579
Well, what's his talent?
645
00:29:42,580 --> 00:29:45,712
Well, it's nothing he'd be famous for.
646
00:29:45,713 --> 00:29:48,547
You won't ever see his paintings
647
00:29:48,548 --> 00:29:49,713
hanging in an art gallery
648
00:29:49,714 --> 00:29:54,515
or hear him playing at Carnegie Hall.
649
00:29:54,516 --> 00:29:57,416
But when it comes to
taking care of people,
650
00:29:57,417 --> 00:30:01,317
knowing what you need
better even than you do,
651
00:30:01,318 --> 00:30:04,352
he's a fucking Picasso.
652
00:30:36,860 --> 00:30:38,693
Beautiful light and shadow.
653
00:30:38,694 --> 00:30:40,594
Very...
654
00:30:40,595 --> 00:30:42,861
Haunting.
655
00:30:42,862 --> 00:30:45,495
The photographer has a great eye.
656
00:30:45,496 --> 00:30:47,362
Strong...
657
00:30:47,363 --> 00:30:49,462
Composition.
658
00:30:49,463 --> 00:30:50,863
You can't stay. You have to leave.
659
00:30:50,864 --> 00:30:52,697
Now, Justin, don't be mean.
660
00:30:52,698 --> 00:30:54,363
I've kept my end of the bargain.
661
00:30:54,364 --> 00:30:57,364
Now, I would like to see my son's work.
662
00:30:57,365 --> 00:30:59,566
I won't embarrass you, I promise.
663
00:30:59,567 --> 00:31:01,599
Justin, is this your mother?
664
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,333
Hi, I'm Jennifer.
665
00:31:03,334 --> 00:31:04,867
- Melanie.
- Lindsay.
666
00:31:04,868 --> 00:31:07,667
You know, your son's
remarkably talented.
667
00:31:07,668 --> 00:31:09,301
You should be very proud.
668
00:31:09,302 --> 00:31:12,468
Well, thank you. I am.
669
00:31:12,469 --> 00:31:15,436
And what a beautiful baby.
670
00:31:15,437 --> 00:31:16,603
His name's Gus.
671
00:31:16,604 --> 00:31:18,304
Actually, Justin's
the one who named him.
672
00:31:18,305 --> 00:31:19,671
Really?
673
00:31:19,672 --> 00:31:21,237
Well, that was his teddy bear's name.
674
00:31:21,238 --> 00:31:24,371
- Aw!
- Aw, a teddy bear.
675
00:31:24,372 --> 00:31:25,405
Mom.
676
00:31:25,406 --> 00:31:27,806
Um, are you the mother?
677
00:31:27,807 --> 00:31:31,407
Uh, yes, but we're raising him together.
678
00:31:31,408 --> 00:31:33,174
Well, that's wonderful.
679
00:31:33,175 --> 00:31:35,608
I've never met lesbian mothers before.
680
00:31:35,609 --> 00:31:38,608
I mean, I... I read about you... them
681
00:31:38,609 --> 00:31:40,442
in the papers all the time.
682
00:31:40,443 --> 00:31:42,676
Seems like there's always
some judge in Alabama
683
00:31:42,677 --> 00:31:43,743
trying to take our kids away.
684
00:31:43,744 --> 00:31:45,443
That's why I married a lawyer.
685
00:31:49,545 --> 00:31:51,312
Have you seen the art?
686
00:31:51,313 --> 00:31:52,645
Not yet.
687
00:31:52,646 --> 00:31:55,847
Where's your stuff, honey?
688
00:31:59,415 --> 00:32:02,583
She came. That's huge.
689
00:32:06,216 --> 00:32:07,849
Tremendous energy.
690
00:32:07,850 --> 00:32:11,585
It really comes right out at you.
691
00:32:13,319 --> 00:32:15,551
Roger...
692
00:32:15,552 --> 00:32:18,552
I think I'm ready.
693
00:32:18,553 --> 00:32:21,852
I promised to play the piano.
694
00:32:21,853 --> 00:32:23,353
You're just volunteering.
695
00:32:23,354 --> 00:32:26,188
You're right. Fuck 'em!
696
00:33:07,732 --> 00:33:11,167
Who's that guy you drew?
697
00:34:04,614 --> 00:34:06,846
- Oh, sorry!
- That's all right.
698
00:34:43,490 --> 00:34:45,823
- Ouch!
- I'm sorry.
699
00:34:45,824 --> 00:34:47,924
It's okay.
700
00:34:54,493 --> 00:34:56,359
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
701
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,026
- What?
- No, I... I can't.
702
00:34:58,027 --> 00:35:01,027
What is it? Is something wrong?
703
00:35:01,028 --> 00:35:02,361
It just won't work.
704
00:35:02,362 --> 00:35:05,395
I thought I could do this. I really did.
705
00:35:05,396 --> 00:35:07,862
I mean, you are so nice
706
00:35:07,863 --> 00:35:10,862
and smart and talented.
707
00:35:10,863 --> 00:35:13,030
And you play the piano beautifully.
708
00:35:13,031 --> 00:35:15,063
But?
709
00:35:15,064 --> 00:35:16,531
Well...
710
00:35:16,532 --> 00:35:20,132
Go on, say it.
711
00:35:20,133 --> 00:35:21,899
You're just not my type.
712
00:35:21,900 --> 00:35:25,267
"Type"?
713
00:35:25,268 --> 00:35:28,567
Are you serious?
714
00:35:28,568 --> 00:35:31,268
I don't believe this. After all that?
715
00:35:31,269 --> 00:35:34,269
I thought you didn't
want sex to be everything.
716
00:35:34,270 --> 00:35:36,236
Yeah, but...
717
00:35:36,237 --> 00:35:39,905
I'd like it to be something.
718
00:35:42,806 --> 00:35:45,173
You're just like all the others.
719
00:35:49,807 --> 00:35:52,274
Where's my sock?
720
00:35:52,275 --> 00:35:55,274
Look, it's my fault. I admit it.
721
00:35:55,275 --> 00:35:57,341
I mean, I... I don't know
what the hell's wrong with me.
722
00:35:57,342 --> 00:35:59,275
I mean, you're a catch.
723
00:35:59,276 --> 00:36:02,876
Any straight woman would find
you incredibly attractive.
724
00:36:02,877 --> 00:36:05,010
Oh, is that supposed
to make me feel better?
725
00:36:05,011 --> 00:36:06,410
Fuck you.
726
00:36:06,411 --> 00:36:09,745
Look, I know we share all
the important things...
727
00:36:09,746 --> 00:36:12,245
Music, a sense of humor.
728
00:36:12,246 --> 00:36:15,013
This would be a totally
appropriate relationship for me.
729
00:36:15,014 --> 00:36:18,213
The only problem is is
that sex isn't appropriate.
730
00:36:18,214 --> 00:36:21,247
You know, I was wrong.
731
00:36:21,248 --> 00:36:24,449
You're not like all the
others. You're worse...
732
00:36:24,450 --> 00:36:26,382
Because you think knowing Sesto's aria
733
00:36:26,383 --> 00:36:29,049
from Clemenza Di Tito
somehow makes you better.
734
00:36:29,050 --> 00:36:30,483
Well, let me tell you,
735
00:36:30,484 --> 00:36:32,384
you're nothing but a pretentious,
736
00:36:32,385 --> 00:36:34,350
self-involved, boring asshole
737
00:36:34,351 --> 00:36:36,151
who's still hanging
around with younger guys
738
00:36:36,152 --> 00:36:39,219
who don't want you and never will.
739
00:36:39,220 --> 00:36:41,920
You're pathetic.
740
00:36:41,921 --> 00:36:44,086
And what about you?
741
00:36:44,087 --> 00:36:47,388
You know, after you
conduct your 501st tribute
742
00:36:47,389 --> 00:36:50,288
to Sondheim, you might
try going to a gym.
743
00:36:50,289 --> 00:36:51,888
You know, get on a treadmill
744
00:36:51,889 --> 00:36:53,489
for once in your life, would you?
745
00:36:53,490 --> 00:36:58,024
And do something about your breath!
746
00:36:58,025 --> 00:37:00,058
Listen...
747
00:37:04,326 --> 00:37:06,927
I don't suppose we
could still be friends.
748
00:37:28,933 --> 00:37:31,299
So I thought, okay, he's having...
749
00:37:31,300 --> 00:37:33,266
Experiences.
750
00:37:33,267 --> 00:37:36,033
But with boys his own age.
751
00:37:36,034 --> 00:37:38,167
This man...
752
00:37:38,168 --> 00:37:39,468
He must be in his 30s!
753
00:37:39,469 --> 00:37:41,235
Well, not yet, but I'll be happy
754
00:37:41,236 --> 00:37:42,702
to tell him you thought so.
755
00:37:42,703 --> 00:37:44,302
Well, it's not right.
756
00:37:44,303 --> 00:37:45,902
It happens.
757
00:37:45,903 --> 00:37:48,971
If his father finds out...
758
00:37:50,438 --> 00:37:53,737
Tell me about him... This person.
759
00:37:53,738 --> 00:37:54,805
I have to know.
760
00:37:54,806 --> 00:37:58,739
Brian Kinney...
761
00:37:58,740 --> 00:38:01,841
God's gift to gay P.A.
762
00:38:03,308 --> 00:38:05,274
They all want Brian.
763
00:38:05,275 --> 00:38:07,675
But the good news is
no one can have him.
764
00:38:07,676 --> 00:38:10,442
He screws them, breaks their
heart, and they wise up...
765
00:38:10,443 --> 00:38:14,010
Well, most of them anyway.
766
00:38:17,178 --> 00:38:20,212
So, this, uh...
767
00:38:20,213 --> 00:38:22,912
Brian Kinney...
768
00:38:22,913 --> 00:38:25,246
He's going to hurt my son.
769
00:38:25,247 --> 00:38:27,013
What do I do?
770
00:38:27,014 --> 00:38:28,314
Nothing.
771
00:38:28,315 --> 00:38:31,247
There's nothing you can
do without making it worse.
772
00:38:31,248 --> 00:38:33,048
He's only 17.
773
00:38:33,049 --> 00:38:36,949
How old were you the first time?
774
00:38:36,950 --> 00:38:39,083
16.
775
00:38:39,084 --> 00:38:41,984
15.
776
00:38:45,185 --> 00:38:48,052
Anyway, if it makes you feel any better,
777
00:38:48,053 --> 00:38:50,419
I've known Brian since he was 14.
778
00:38:50,420 --> 00:38:52,286
He hasn't changed much.
779
00:38:52,287 --> 00:38:55,287
In fact, I'd say he and Justin
are pretty evenly matched.
780
00:38:57,989 --> 00:39:00,288
I don't know if I can be so accepting.
781
00:39:00,289 --> 00:39:01,922
Honey...
782
00:39:01,923 --> 00:39:04,690
Jennifer...
783
00:39:04,691 --> 00:39:06,823
You don't have too much choice.
784
00:39:06,824 --> 00:39:09,257
All you can do is hope
that they'll be careful
785
00:39:09,258 --> 00:39:13,192
and that they remember
your phone number.
786
00:39:16,227 --> 00:39:18,026
Ugh.
787
00:39:18,027 --> 00:39:19,126
Here.
788
00:39:19,127 --> 00:39:20,993
Don't you dare.
789
00:39:20,994 --> 00:39:22,260
This is on me.
790
00:39:22,261 --> 00:39:24,228
Thanks.
791
00:39:24,229 --> 00:39:26,895
Oh, here...
792
00:39:26,896 --> 00:39:29,263
Give him what he needs.
793
00:39:45,634 --> 00:39:49,300
♪ he's a hunk of love ♪
794
00:39:49,301 --> 00:39:50,901
Admit it...
795
00:39:50,902 --> 00:39:52,869
You missed all this.
796
00:39:52,870 --> 00:39:54,768
The rampant narcissism,
797
00:39:54,769 --> 00:39:57,302
the sleaze, the drug use?
798
00:39:57,303 --> 00:39:59,170
I don't think so.
799
00:39:59,171 --> 00:40:01,004
So why'd you come back?
800
00:40:01,005 --> 00:40:03,872
When I figure it out, I'll let you know.
801
00:40:03,873 --> 00:40:06,938
Oh, look, it's the cast of Zoom.
802
00:40:06,939 --> 00:40:08,239
We're celebrating.
803
00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:09,873
Justin sold some of his art today.
804
00:40:09,874 --> 00:40:11,973
The one of you, naked.
805
00:40:11,974 --> 00:40:13,740
Who'd buy that?
806
00:40:13,741 --> 00:40:16,708
Probably some desperate queen
who's always pined for you.
807
00:40:16,709 --> 00:40:19,775
Oh, Ted, how thoughtful.
808
00:40:21,643 --> 00:40:27,344
Oh, my God. I used to love this song.
809
00:40:27,345 --> 00:40:29,644
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
810
00:40:29,645 --> 00:40:31,178
Then let's dance.
811
00:40:31,179 --> 00:40:35,012
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
812
00:40:35,013 --> 00:40:39,013
I got to pee.
813
00:40:39,014 --> 00:40:42,014
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
814
00:40:42,015 --> 00:40:44,581
♪ you're the star ♪
815
00:40:44,582 --> 00:40:46,883
♪ it's who you are ♪
816
00:40:46,884 --> 00:40:48,682
Okay, Dr. Feelgood.
817
00:40:48,683 --> 00:40:51,083
Let me see you shake your groove thang.
818
00:40:51,084 --> 00:40:53,185
Come on.
819
00:40:58,653 --> 00:41:00,319
Ooh, he can dance.
820
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:02,152
He's gay after all.
821
00:41:02,153 --> 00:41:05,320
♪ Everybody knows your name ♪
822
00:41:05,321 --> 00:41:08,754
♪ they want to get close to that flame ♪
823
00:41:08,755 --> 00:41:12,289
♪ you can see it on every face ♪
824
00:41:12,290 --> 00:41:15,023
Anybody ever tell you
you're a bad influence?
825
00:41:15,024 --> 00:41:16,589
You are.
826
00:41:16,590 --> 00:41:21,024
♪ The DJ plays your favorite song ♪
827
00:41:21,025 --> 00:41:24,758
♪ everyone wants to sing along ♪
828
00:41:24,759 --> 00:41:28,026
♪ it's a feeling you can't fight ♪
829
00:41:28,027 --> 00:41:32,262
♪ 'cause you're the star tonight ♪
830
00:41:55,967 --> 00:41:57,600
Hi.
831
00:41:57,601 --> 00:41:59,501
How are you doing?
832
00:41:59,502 --> 00:42:01,568
Better...
833
00:42:01,569 --> 00:42:04,769
No thanks to you.
834
00:42:04,770 --> 00:42:06,969
I never really knew for sure
what happened that night.
835
00:42:06,970 --> 00:42:08,270
I figured you came out of it okay.
836
00:42:08,271 --> 00:42:09,904
I kept looking in the papers.
837
00:42:09,905 --> 00:42:13,037
Gee, that's really thoughtful.
838
00:42:13,038 --> 00:42:16,472
I, uh...
839
00:42:16,473 --> 00:42:17,605
Waited on the corner
840
00:42:17,606 --> 00:42:20,940
after I called the paramedics,
to make sure they came.
841
00:42:20,941 --> 00:42:25,041
You mean you called 911?
842
00:42:25,042 --> 00:42:27,542
I didn't want to stick around.
843
00:42:27,543 --> 00:42:29,675
I was afraid... You
know, the drugs and shit.
844
00:42:29,676 --> 00:42:31,042
Right.
845
00:42:31,043 --> 00:42:34,877
I mean, you took so
much, I was like, "whoa."
846
00:42:36,845 --> 00:42:40,512
Anyway, I'm glad you're okay.
847
00:42:41,946 --> 00:42:44,779
Well, uh...
848
00:42:44,780 --> 00:42:47,647
Maybe we could get
together again some time...
849
00:42:47,648 --> 00:42:49,180
I mean, without the paramedics.
850
00:42:51,181 --> 00:42:52,748
There you are.
851
00:42:52,749 --> 00:42:54,681
What's taking you so long?
852
00:42:54,682 --> 00:42:57,482
Just talking to some guy.
853
00:42:57,483 --> 00:43:00,650
What's your name again?
854
00:43:00,651 --> 00:43:01,716
Ted.
855
00:43:01,717 --> 00:43:04,651
Ted, right.
856
00:43:04,652 --> 00:43:07,084
Yeah, I'll see you later.
857
00:43:07,085 --> 00:43:11,152
See you.
858
00:43:20,589 --> 00:43:21,755
Hey, how's it going?
859
00:43:21,756 --> 00:43:23,489
- No!
- Hi.
860
00:43:23,490 --> 00:43:25,689
Hi, how are you?
861
00:43:25,690 --> 00:43:27,156
Hi.
862
00:43:27,157 --> 00:43:29,157
Hey, how are...
863
00:43:29,158 --> 00:43:32,025
Hey, how's it going?
864
00:43:32,026 --> 00:43:33,125
It's a great little...
865
00:43:33,126 --> 00:43:36,060
Ow!
866
00:43:38,527 --> 00:43:39,893
How's it going?
867
00:43:39,894 --> 00:43:42,728
You two are together... That's terrific.
868
00:43:45,629 --> 00:43:48,828
Oh, my God, you did it
in the little boys' room.
869
00:43:48,829 --> 00:43:50,195
Nope.
870
00:43:50,196 --> 00:43:51,963
You got somebody's phone number?
871
00:43:51,964 --> 00:43:55,998
I was rejected by everybody.
872
00:43:58,966 --> 00:44:00,965
It's good to be back!
873
00:44:02,967 --> 00:44:04,766
Mwah.
874
00:44:05,900 --> 00:44:09,034
- Let's get you a cocktail.
- Okay.
875
00:44:13,469 --> 00:44:17,503
♪ just give me one more chance ♪
876
00:44:17,504 --> 00:44:21,037
♪ if you're still in doubt ♪
877
00:44:21,038 --> 00:44:23,537
♪ baby, walk away ♪
878
00:44:23,538 --> 00:44:28,772
♪ one more dance if we work it out ♪
879
00:44:28,773 --> 00:44:32,373
♪ and promise you'll stay with me ♪
880
00:44:36,776 --> 00:44:38,641
Hey, hot stuff, you want to dance?
881
00:44:38,642 --> 00:44:40,509
I don't think so.
882
00:44:40,510 --> 00:44:42,976
Well, what do you want to do?
883
00:44:42,977 --> 00:44:46,011
Take you home.
884
00:44:49,745 --> 00:44:53,679
♪ Just give me one more chance ♪
885
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:57,379
♪ if you're still in doubt ♪
886
00:44:57,380 --> 00:44:59,614
♪ baby, walk away ♪
887
00:44:59,615 --> 00:45:05,015
♪ one more dance if we work it out ♪
888
00:45:05,016 --> 00:45:06,415
♪ and promise you'll stay ♪
889
00:45:08,750 --> 00:45:10,783
Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa!
890
00:45:15,586 --> 00:45:19,053
Captain Astro.
891
00:45:46,660 --> 00:45:49,893
Who are you thinking about?
892
00:45:49,894 --> 00:45:52,760
What?
893
00:45:52,761 --> 00:45:55,403
When you close your eyes,
who are you thinking about?
894
00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:02,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
60489
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