Original subtitles

I'm telling you, man, I'm telling you, that's the last time I'm coming to your

house. Yeah, well, that's the last time you're ever going to be invited. All

right, all right, all right. What happened with you two? He invited me to

house last night to watch the Knicks play the Lakers on television.

So what are you mad about?

He started watching the game, right? All of a sudden, man, one of those little

Epstein brothers of his, man, came over and threw a fit, and he pulled the coat

hanger out of the antenna hole.

We got a picture, didn't we?

Yeah, you got a picture, but it was all scrunched up with a lot of snow all over

the screen.

Made Kareem Abdul -Jabbar look like Mr. Woodman.

Well, I fixed it, didn't I?

Oh, yeah, yeah, you fixed it all right.

Fixed it real good.

You know what happened the next, that little, that vertical, whatchamacallit,

man, that went out of whack. And for the rest of the night, I had to watch the

television like this.

You're lucky you didn't get called for double dribbling.

Well, why didn't we watch the game on your TV set, Freddy?

Down at the pawn shop, huh?

Well, yeah, well, I don't need to watch TV, y 'all. I can get back to you. Hey,

you talk to me. I ain't talking to you. You must be talking to me. You clean.

You can be talking. Just sit down.

All right.

What is this?

It's Arnold, sleeping like a baby.

I wonder what's the matter with him.

I think he was out with Mary Johnson again last night.

Oh, that's four nights in a row.

I wonder how she's holding up.

Arnold!

Arnold!

Arnold! If that's the tooth fairy, I gave her to Dennis.

Wake up, Arnold.

Look, here's $15 for last night.

Hey, that's not bad, considering we started so late.

pays you to take her out?

She didn't pay me.

We're working together.

I knew you couldn't get that poop from puckering.

Will you guys come on?

Mary's uncle has this small mail order business and we've been helping him out.

You know, stuffing envelopes.

That sort of thing.

I don't believe it.

Arnold's got himself a job.

Well, if he can get a job, I ought to be able to get a job, huh?

If he can get a job, my dog ought to be able to get a job.

So little guy's growing up, huh?

Yeah, you know, man, it seems just like yesterday we were wiping the pablum off

his chin.

It was yesterday.

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about.

Well, the names have all changed since you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Back here

where we need ya.

We tease him a lot because we got him on the spot. Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Yeah, we tease him a lot because we got him on

spot. Welcome back.

that I fell asleep at the dinner table.

Luckily, my little brother woke me up. Did he know you had to go to work?

No. My head was on the last piece of roast beef.

Do you want to nap some more?

Nah.

Once you've had hot gravy porn on your head, you're awake.

Well, why don't you take those envelopes and put them in the boxes there and tie

them up? Okie dokie, Smokey.

You know, Mary...

We've been together here for four or five nights in a row now.

We had a lot to get done.

It's almost as if we was going steady.

What do you mean?

Oh, I just meant that if we went working together, you probably wouldn't have

seen me for five nights in a row.

Oh, yes, I would.

Oh.

Arnold.

You're really something.

Mary, do you know what you just said?

You're really something.

No, before that.

What do you mean?

No, after that.

Arnold, start over.

Well... You practically say you go steady with me.

Arnold, for your information, I've been going steady with you for some time now.

How come I'm always the last to know?

would be this tough of work.

Arnold, come here.

I... I love you.

Hey,

what's happening, Mr. Gibbons?

If you think that's Mr. Gibbons, you just flunked biology.

Ah, Mr. Gibbons has the flu, guys. Oh, I knew he was sick on account of the way

he was foaming at the mouth and everything.

Oh, yeah.

You know, he also forgot to give us homework.

You know, Epstein, that is amazing. I just happened to have all the

he gave out.

Sit down.

Nice try, Juan.

Hey, it can't be easy trying, huh?

I stopped to smell the rousers.

That's pretty good, Arnold, man. Most people in this neighborhood, they just

stop and smell.

Arnold, do you have an excuse?

It's good.

I wouldn't try it in woodshop.

Did you smell the roses or did you smoke them?

I've always admired your wit.

He smoked them.

All right, Arnold.

What hit you?

Symmetra?

I have been struck.

on the horse shack.

body came in all right, but his brain's still in a holding pattern.

Here I am, Mr. White Bear, with my head in the clouds.

Your head I don't care about. Get your buns down to my office.

Julie, would you all come along, please, too?

Arnold, my boy, sit down.

What do I do, Mr. Woodman? What?

You didn't do a thing, my boy. Relax.

This is probably the happiest day of my life.

Arnold, I have all your school transfer forms right here.

Transferred? Just for being late?

I mean, you stop and smell one lousy rose.

What transfer? I haven't seen these.

No, I drew these up myself. I wanted to make personally sure there are

absolutely no errors in them.

Wait a minute. I don't understand this.

You don't have to understand it. Just do like I do. Enjoy it.

She called me this morning from Atlantic City.

And guess what?

She got married again.

That's right. Aren't you excited?

No.

Well, I am.

That's the first answer you've gotten right the whole school year.

Well, who is it this time?

She is now Mrs.

Swifty Growman.

He's a blackjack dealer in one of the Atlantic City casinos.

I guess it's better than the last guy.

He was a circus performer.

I can't tell you how I hated taking a bath with that trained seal.

I think you should be happy for your mother.

Yeah, I guess I am.

But why am I being transferred?

Your mother says your new father, Swifty, wants you all to live in his

motorhome.

Behind the casino.

Do you mean to say that... Me, my brother, and my sisters are all going to

to leave Brooklyn?

Yeah.

Isn't that wonderful?

I can't do that.

I'm not going to leave.

Arnold, if you don't go, you're going to break your mother's heart.

Yeah, and I'll break your arm.

I'm not going. I'm not leaving Buchanan.

Arnold, you don't have any choice.

Look at the bright side. Your new father's a blackjack dealer.

You'll learn to count to 21.

Arnold, you'll have to excuse Mr. Woodman. He got up under the wrong side

bed.

Well, Mrs. Carter, what am I going to do?

Arnold, I guess you're just going to have to go. You see, your mother

the transfer papers, and Mr. Woodman signed them, probably laughing

hysterically.

You've got to understand, Julie, sweat hogs are hard to get rid of. They're

of like warts.

I'm not going to go to Atlantic City.

Why don't you don't have any choice?

Yeah, but you don't understand.

Things are really starting to go great for me.

My grades are coming up a little.

What other way could they go?

I even got a job where I'm making a little money on the side.

Really? Doing what?

Mary Johnson and I are doing some work for her uncle.

Oh, Mary Johnson.

Hey, you guys have been seeing a lot of each other, haven't you, Arnold?

Yeah.

Well, that's another thing.

Neither one of us is ever a monitor much in high school or anywhere else.

But when we're together, we feel like we are somebody for the first time in

our lives.

We've got something that we never had before.

A little bit of hope for the future.

A way out.

And I'm not going to give any of those things up.

And that's final.

Oh, Anna, come on. Don't take it so hard, my man.

We'll figure something out.

Yeah, I'll tell you what, Arnold.

You could just move into my place. My mother never counts kids.

Counts them?

She don't even name them anymore.

All right, thanks a lot, little one.

Boy, I don't think your mother could stand another mouth to feed.

Come on, guys.

Don't worry, Arnold. We'll take care of it, man. We'll possibly... I'll tell you

what, Arnold. The problem is we got to keep you right within this school

district here.

Hey, wait a minute. Arnold, Arnold.

That's the answer.

You can stay right here in the school. That's perfect.

No one has ever called this school perfect.

No, I mean, I mean, perfect for Arnold.

See, man, what you could do is you could, um, you could sleep in Mr.

office. Yeah.

Yeah, you can shower in the locker rooms.

And eat in the cafeteria.

Now, wait a minute now. We're trying to find him a place to live, not a place to

die.

Oh, guys.

Why don't I just put myself in a pet shop window?

Maybe some nice family would take me home for the kid.

Very good at looking sad and lonely.

Just go on the paper.

I got it, I got it. I got it right up here.

We're going to get you into Vinnie's hospital.

A room, bed, three meals a day.

Yeah, how are you going to get me in there? Break my arm?

No, just a finger. One finger a week will keep you in there ten weeks.

Oh, thank you, you guys.

I know your hearts are all in the right place.

Why did this have to happen now?

Yeah, another four or five years, you would have graduated.

I wanted the place to look a little more cozy.

Oh, look.

The curtains.

Makes me feel like a regular Heathcliff.

Who?

Heathcliff. From Wuthering Heights.

Oh, he was this poor bedraggled waif until he came to Merle Oberon's

home.

Well, it's a way to get lost in your fantasies.

I could sit and watch movies for days on end.

In fact, I have.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

I even saw Gone with the Wind 15 times.

Frankly, Arnold, I don't give a damn.

Thanks, baby. Funny Mary.

Now, can I get back to my decorating?

Hey, but what about all the work? And don't you have a report due in class

tomorrow? Boy, we've been going steady for one day and already I'm in the

doghouse. Yeah.

But you're a very nice doghouse decorator.

Thank you, Rover.

Okay, back to work. Right.

I'll do this.

You do your report.

We agreed that that stuff would come first. Mary, staying in Buchanan is the

most important thing in our lives right now.

Since when does school become so important to you?

Since my mother learned to count to 21.

What are you talking about?

Oh, nothing.

Arnold, you have a problem.

Nah.

I never have any problems when I'm with you.

I know it.

What's wrong?

There is... There's no problem, Mary.

Now, we've got a lot to do here. Please.

My dearest Arnold, I finished all the envelopes but one.

I've gone to school early to work on my report.

See you in class.

I love you, Mary.

stomach ailment on the small island of St. Helena in the year 1821.

All right, Mary. That was very good, Mary.

Especially the part about Napoleon losing to the British at Waterloo. Thank

You're welcome.

Hi, Mrs. Kyler. I'm sorry I'm late.

Would you stop and smell this time, Arnold?

Oh, I didn't have time to smell.

I overslept.

Well, you missed an excellent report on Napoleon.

Congratulations, Mayor.

I got the coffee and donuts you left me this morning.

And I also got the news that you're moving to Atlantic City.

Uh, does anybody have any questions for Mary on her report?

I do. I want to know why Napoleon went to St. Helena if he didn't want to go.

There was nothing he could do about it. He had no choice. He was forced to go

there by other people.

One man has to go to St. Helena, another man has to go to Atlantic City.

Atlantic City?

Was Napoleon happy in St. Helena?

No. He was probably very unhappy because he didn't want to be there.

Maybe he just didn't try hard enough to stay where he wanted to be.

But he must have known that I didn't want him to go away.

Then why are you giving up on him so fast?

I'm not a guy.

Go easy. It's just a report on Napoleon, huh?

Does everybody know that Napoleon has a job now and can take care of himself?

Have you guys got the same book everybody else has?

Does everybody know that Napoleon has somebody that he cares for very much

here in Brooklyn?

Yes.

But they also know that Napoleon has to go away because his mother's marrying a

blackjack dealer.

Well, let me ask you this.

What would Napoleon do if he didn't go to Atlantic City?

figure out for himself.

Maybe... Maybe Napoleon could work for Josephine's uncle?

And live right there in the storefront?

I don't see why not.

Then... I have one last question for you, Mary Johnson.

Yes, Your Highness?

Will you marry me?

Yes.

Do you guys believe this?

Our little Arnold Horschak, growing up and getting married.

Yeah, I can believe he's getting married, but that grown -up part's a

hard for me to swallow.

Hey, do you guys really think he's going to go through with this?

Oh, sure. What could go wrong?

I don't know.

But if there's a wrong way of getting married, believe me, Arnold will find

Hey,

good to see you.

What are you doing here?

Well, I've never seen a sweetheart get married, and I love freak shows.

You're nervous, aren't you, Arnold?

You know, generally I don't believe in teenage marriages.

But I'll tell you something I do believe in.

I believe in love.

Arnold's gone.

Arnold Horschak is gone and joined the Marines.

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about.

Well, the names have all changed since you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Back here

where we need ya. Back here where we need ya.

Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.

We always could spot a friend.