All language subtitles for welcome_back_kotter_s04e19_the_gang_show

Hey, come on, guys. You're going to miss
a big fight on the football field.

Oh, wow. Who's fighting?

Football team.

Yeah, somebody.

I don't know who.

Put itching powder in this wetsuit.

Who are they going to fight? Each other.

It'll be the greatest display of open
field scratching of the season.

You guys, y 'all go ahead. Me and Juan,
we got to...

That's right, that's right. Me and
Freddie were entering the annual

Talent Contest.

Oh, no.

No, no, no, I will not permit this.
Don't you remember what happened to you

year? I came in last.

Yeah, further back than that.

The scenery came in ahead of them.

Yeah, well, obviously, Lanky, we had a
bad audience, right?

That's right.

Yeah, man, even the Beatles got booed
when they first started, right?

That's right. All right.

Oh, that's right. But nobody ever came
up on stage and tried to set them on

fire.

Hey, what kind of act are you guys going
to do?

It's top secret.

Oh, I should have known.

Most big bombs are.

Why are you going to work so hard over
this lousy trophy?

You can pawn that trophy for $10.

Hey, Mr. Woodman, have you heard the
good news?

I hate good news.

Go ahead, anyway.

Freddie and Juan here are entering the
talent show.

Well, that is good news.

Come on, Mr. Woodman. Last year, they
barely escaped with your lines.

I know.

This year, I'm going to sail off the
exits.

Mr.

Woodman.

and look at this. It's a threatening
letter.

Actually threatening bodily harm.

These little animals have gone too far.
Nobody sends threatening letters to my

teachers.

Oh, no.

It's not for me.

It's from me to you.

What's your problem, Jean?

Well, I don't think that I, as the
English teacher, should have to be in

of the talent show.

And who do you think should run it?

Well, what about the captain of the
football team? He's used to getting

when he's down.

Don't mention the football team to me. I
have another problem with them.

What happened?

Some clown put itching powder in their
sweatsuits, and now they're all

scratching themselves silly.

Now, what's your problem with the talent
show?

Well, I want to cancel it. Why?

Orders of my dentist. He says I'm just
grinding my teeth away.

Gene, I have no time for your little
jokes.

But, Mr. Woodman, if we put this show
on, it's going to be terrible.

These kids are just going to get up
there and make fools out of themselves.

That's what I like best about it.

But I like these kids, and I just hate
to see them do bad.

Why don't we postpone it so I'll have
more time to work with them? We are

to have a talent show on schedule. You
are the teacher in charge, and you're

just going to have to face the music.

Music? The closest we come to that is a
little boy that plays... Lady of Spain

on stolen hobcaps.

I don't understand all the fuss. I mean,
personally, I love that show. I mean,

the people throwing fruit and garbage.

And the booing and the hissing and the
profanity. But there's no business like

showing...

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.

Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd
have thought they'd lead ya? Back here

where we need ya. Back here.

Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Keep that up now. Here, put this ball
back with the rest of them.

All right, now, who's up next for
audition?

We are.

My brother and me got an acrobatic act.
We'll set it up right now.

always find them again.

Uh, uh, you kids just go on home. I'll
call you, hear?

You ain't got no phone. Well, don't
worry about it. I'll beat out something

the hall of law. Go on home.

All right, now, who's next up for the
audition?

We, we, we, we are, we are, we are, Miss
Trey. We are, yeah.

Curtain up. Light the light. Call the
cops.

All right, let's see your act before my
roe leg wears off.

because to begin this act, you need
silence.

Yeah? That's all you're going to hear
when it's over.

Yeah, Covelli said that's all you're
going to hear when it's over.

Yeah, well, well, if it isn't Murray and
Covelli. What are you punks doing here?

Well, we thought we'd come down and
watch you guys audition. You see, Murray

here likes animal act.

Yeah, it's the...

I've got to perform in front of these
guys. They shouldn't even be here.

got a right to be here. They're
performers. And this is an equal

disaster.

Yeah? What do they do? Musical muggins?

Are you going to audition or aren't you?
No, absolutely not. I will not perform

in front of them. No way.

Don't get so uptight, Epstein. All
right, we're leaving anyways. You see, I

to associate with losers.

Except, of course.

My good friend, Murray.

Yeah, I'm the only loser he associates
with.

So, uh, you can look for us in the
winner's circle, all right? Come on,

let's go skin another guy.

Hey,

Arnold. Huh? How bad is this talent
show?

Oh, it's not bad.

Last year's winner, Guido Vanelli, had a
very unusual act.

He would chew up crayons, then spit a
beautiful painting.

Oh, everybody in the audience loved
Guido.

Except for maybe the first two rows.

That's another. We had a guy down in New
Orleans.

He did a three -dimensional wall play.

Oh, yeah? With crayons?

No. He spit grits.

Hey, you fellas planning to go to the
talent show this year? Sure, what's it

you, Carvelli?

Well, I just wanted to let you know that
you better take your sunglasses,

because when your two little friends is
up there, even the footlights is going

to turn around.

That's not funny.

Hey, look, what are you going to be
doing in the talent show, Carvelli?

I'll tell you, Bo, I'm going to be
taking home that beautiful gold trophy.

Come on, Carveli. You got about as much
chance of winning as the hunchback of

Notre Dame has of buying a suit off the
rack.

Hey, hey. Murray. Everything's taken
care of, Carveli. That's good, Murray.

That's real good.

You say that's real good.

Oh, excuse me, excuse me. I'd like to
introduce you fellas here. This is Mr.

Arnold Horschak.

Mr. Baudelaire, this is his honor,
Mousy, his honor, Rick, and of course,

know, his honor, Murray.

His honor?

It's a term of respect.

You see, these are the fellas that Mr.

Romain has selected to be the judges of
the upcoming talent show.

Hey, Arnold. Huh?

I think the fix is in.

Okay, Carbelli, did you bribe them?

Could you say such a thing? Arnold, let
me put it to you this way.

They think that I'm Santa Claus.

And he's Murray the Red -Nosed Reindeer.

Come on, fellas, I'll buy you a yogurt
pizza.

Well,

poor God.

Are we going to let Murray and Carvelli
get away with this? Are we going to let

our two best friends work this hard and
have the prize stolen out from under

them? Would the little beaver turn his
back on the red rider?

Would Superman turn his back on Lois
Lane? Not in a phone booth. Not in that

outfit. Shazam.

Back in Louisiana, we used to have this
fox that would sneak into the chicken

coop every night. My daddy put an end to
that. Oh, yeah? Put a mountain lion in

there.

And taught him how to lay eggs.

Mr. Oh,

Mr. Whitman!

You just didn't mean I wanted to see. I
never thought I would say that.

Good. Why don't you run down to the
cafeteria and defuse the meatballs?

You talk to him, Bo. He's in a great
mood.

Hey, look, Mr. Wilman, we want to help
out in the talent show.

Why don't you learn to play the flute
and lead all the sweat hogs into the

river?

We would like to volunteer our services
to be the alternate judges in the talent

show. Ha ha! You can't be judges.

You gotta mark a ballot.

I know you're not up to the X's yet.

Alternate judges.

Suppose something happened to the
regular judges. You can't have a talent

without judges.

We're having it without talent.

Yeah.

But if you didn't have any judges, then
you wouldn't have any winners, and then

you'd have to have the talent show all
over again.

All over again?

Congratulations,

alternate judge number one.

Alternate judge number two, be in the
auditorium Friday night.

and wear old clothes.

If you like it, you mark an X over here,
and if you don't, you mark an X over

there. It ain't that deep.

All right, now everybody settle down.

How did you get rid of the other judges?

I just told the football team who put
the itching powder in their uniforms.

What?

This show started the sooner we can get
it over with.

All right, now I'm about to introduce to
you the judges, but before I do, just

remember this one thing.

These people are human beings just like
me and one or two of you.

They were just itching to be here, but
they just couldn't make it.

I don't know about you two. There's
something smelly here.

You think something smells? Now wait
till the show starts.

All right, now these are our two
alternate judges.

This one is Beau Delabarre.

fair. We all know how square Arnold is.

Now sit down.

All right, now on with our show.

For our first contestants, we have the
Bonavita Cola Dancing Girls.

They are Terry, Linda, and Carol, and
they are going to do for you their

of the Nutcracker Suite.

They're going to do this all on pogo
sticks.

extra sensory perception, and mind
reading.

Okay now, Swami, you ready?

Yeah, yeah. All right.

Come here, baby.

Okay now, Swami, I got a volunteer from
out of the audience.

Now tell me, Swami, with your great
mind, is she mad?

Come on, give me something tougher. Give
me something tougher. Okay, now, Swami.

Let's check now.

She's got something on her foot.

Come here now, Swami.

This is going to be a real shoo -in.

Now, Swami, if you don't get this,
you're going to feel like a heel.

That's very much.

Oyster's telling me something now.

Oyster's going to be a mother. Look at
this, ladies and gentlemen.

Little Oyster.

It's all right. She already has two
kids.

I'm going to change a three of clubs to
a one and a half of clubs.

as I tear it up.

Now, as I tear this up, many things are
probably going through your mind. I wish

I could say the same for myself.

And now, my impression of a parade.

lunch dedicated to dirt

Eat my soup with a fork.

Why are you throwing me off?

Thank you. Thank you.

All right. Quiet down now. Quiet down.
It's now time for the decision of the

judges.

We have one vote for Carvelli.

One vote for medium and rare.

And one vote.

I stank.

I mean, really stinker. I get the
picture.

Yeah, I got where you're coming from.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.

If you voted for Covelli and you voted
for Covelli, who voted for us?

I did.

You did.

You were terrific.

Epstein here figured out that she was a
girl.

Hey, listen.

I'm really kind of proud of you guys.

I mean, I like the way you stuck up for
your friends, but you were honest with

them and honest with yourselves, too.

We did all that?

Hello there, Mr. Whitman. How'd you like
the talent show?

It was too short.

Too short?

Yeah, I got four rotten eggs left over.

Good night, you guys. I'm sorry you
didn't win. You gonna do something

next year?

I kind of like this act, you know, the
blindfold protects Myers against the

tomatoes.

With your act, you ought to give the
blindfolds to the audience.

I'm telling you, man, we should have
stuck with the actor with the last, you

know, works.

Oh, yes.

It was called the Hustle, Bustle,
Rustle, Bump, Lump, Grind, Rock, Sock,

and Boogie.

It sounds like something that happens to
my car.

Freddie and I illustrate it for you,
Freddie. If you would, one, two.

One, two, three, four.

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.

Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd
have thought they'd lead ya? Back here

where we need ya. Back here where we
need ya.

Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome
back.

We all went to the spot of prayer.

Welcome back.

And I smile when I think how it must
have been.

And I know...