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Good morning.
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Stay shift orderly. Fall in.
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Barbarino, you got in just under the
wire.
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No, I didn't. I came in an employee's
entrance, just like you told me.
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Okay, here are today's assignments.
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Emergency.
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You, in emergency, stat.
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See, operating room.
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Very nice, Barbarino.
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All you need is a tutu and you'd be
another Rudolph Nureyev.
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Now, the operating room.
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Let's see.
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You, assist in the operating room.
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Okay, Barbarino, you've been trying to
get my attention. Now, what is it? What,
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what, what?
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Look, I want an important job to do.
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Oh, you do?
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Yes. Good, because I'm putting you in
charge of tile hygiene.
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All right, tile hygiene. What is it?
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Same as usual.
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Nurse Bonner, all I ever do around here
is mop floors and make beds.
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Practice makes perfect.
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Well, how come you don't put me in the
emergency room like you do with the
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guys? You in the emergency room?
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What's wrong? I can handle an emergency.
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You get confused when you change the mop
water.
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ever teach you manners?
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Yeah, the same guy who taught you how to
dance.
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Oh, Mr.
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Woodman, look at this. Some guy with
little teeny weeny feet walked all over
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your book.
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What do you want, Barbarino?
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Nurse Bonnie at the hospital. She's been
giving me these dumb jobs lately, and I
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want to show her that I can do more.
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What are you going to show her? How to
hot wire an iron lung?
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Send that to Johnny for his monologue.
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Look, I want you to call and recommend
me to do some better jobs.
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Michael Woodman?
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Recommend Vinnie Barbarino?
40
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What is this?
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Handed camera?
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Look, all I want is a chance to show
her.
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Barbarino, look, nothing comes easy in
this world.
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I mean, let me ask you something. How do
you think I got to be principal of this
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school?
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That's what everybody wants to know.
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If Nurse Bonnie doesn't think you're
ready for more responsibility, you're
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probably not. I mean, I can't influence
her decision.
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So that means you ain't going to call
her. That's right.
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Matt!
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The only thing soft about Mr. Woodman is
his head.
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Well, his body ain't exactly a piece of
the rock.
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I can see it now. Fifty years from now,
I'll be the oldest mopping orderly.
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They're gonna give me a gold bucket and
a gold mop.
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Well, look, if Woodman won't put in a
good word for Vinnie, then somebody else
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is gonna have to. Yeah.
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Now, look, I know you guys are upset,
but don't do anything foolish.
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We wouldn't do anything foolish. That
would be foolish.
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Innocent as can be. Come on.
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Welcome back.
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Your dreams were your ticket out.
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Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.
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Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
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But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
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Who'd have thought they'd need ya? Who'd
have thought they'd need ya? Back here
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where we need ya. Back here where we
need ya. We tease him a lot cause we got
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him on the spot.
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Welcome back.
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Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome
back.
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Welcome back. Welcome back. Yeah, we
tease him a lot because we've got him on
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the spot. Welcome back.
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Nurse Bonnie?
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Yes? I'd like to talk to you about
Vinnie Barbarino. If you have a
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about him, you file it with the
administrator's office.
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I don't have a complaint about him.
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You don't have a complaint about him?
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Then why do you want to talk about
Barbarino?
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Nurse Bonnie, I'm working at Buchanan
High School now, and I've known Vinnie a
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very long time.
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How long?
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Four years.
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Oh, you poor dear.
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How did you manage to stay so young?
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Well, I find Vinnie exhilarating.
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Well, one woman's exhilaration is
another woman's aggravation.
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Nurse Bonnie, despite his rough
exterior, there's a very trustworthy,
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and level -headed young man.
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You know, he'd work very hard if you'd
give him a chance.
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this miracle.
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00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:16,210
Guys, don't you think you're going to...
Hey, don't say another word, sister.
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You must hear what this giant of the
world of medicine has done.
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and shattered limb. Oh, yes.
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Broken and shattered.
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Using the only material at hand, some
napkins and some soggy hot dog buns.
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And now, in this moment of revelation,
we shall see if any Barbarino's
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extraordinary efforts on medical science
wait.
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Oh, please let it be good news.
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Let his one arm be like the other.
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like you struck out.
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Do me a favor. The next time, use your
head, not your heart.
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How are we going to explain this to
Vinnie? I don't know. I don't know. Come
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Let's get it, y 'all.
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Hey, what are you guys doing here?
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I told you not to hang out here.
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Barbarino, I want you to take Mrs.
Fishbein and her husband up to 604
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immediately. Right, right. Right now.
Listen, get lost because I'm trying to
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make a good impression. Okay, Vinnie.
We'll see you tomorrow.
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Counsel, I've got to tell you not to
hang out with me.
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Hi.
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Just relax now, and we're going to take
you up to your room. So just sit back
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and relax.
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Relax? We left the game with the Jets in
the five -yard line, four minutes to
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go, and you want me to relax?
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What the heck was that?
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Either the elevator jammed or the
building sank.
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time thinking straight in small places
or big places or cold places or hot
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places or high places. Oh, orderly.
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Yes, don't, please, just relax now.
Look, everybody calm down. I'm going to
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the alarm button and he will be out of
here in no time.
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Orderly. Yes.
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He's coming. I know he's coming. He's
coming to fix the elevator.
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No, not the elevator repairman, the
baby.
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What?
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a baby i know you're gonna have a baby
congratulations that's nice he's coming
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right now she
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can't she can't have no baby here
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man we don't got we don't have no hot
water i wonder what my daddy'd say at a
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time like this
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00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:53,480
Why can't you have your babies like
ordinary normal people? Why do you
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put me in a predicament like this? Sure.
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Always think of yourself.
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You never think of me, do you?
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Sweetheart, if I never thought of you,
would you be in this condition?
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Everybody quiet!
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00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:06,900
Quiet! Everybody!
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00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:10,280
Oh, will you stop it? I'm the one in
charge here. I'm the medical person.
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00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:18,520
Look, I'm going to call and there's a
button. We'll be out of here in no time.
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Oh, we better be, because that's exactly
what we got.
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No time.
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00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,259
There's a button.
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00:12:25,260 --> 00:12:29,260
We're in the elevator now, and we're in
a terrible fix, and we're going to have
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a baby and everything.
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Is Vinnie Barberino?
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00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,700
No, I must have got the wrong number.
145
00:12:38,860 --> 00:12:41,640
No, I would like to take rumba lessons,
but not at this moment.
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00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:56,680
lesson.
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00:12:57,900 --> 00:13:01,160
I know you're stuck. The repairman's on
his way up to the roof.
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She's giving birth now.
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00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:07,820
Oh, well, now you just calm that poor
woman down and tell her not to cry.
150
00:13:09,420 --> 00:13:11,740
All right, then tell Oliver Horschak not
to cry.
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00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:19,640
Listen, now stay on the phone because
I'm going to put a doctor on because you
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00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:20,640
just may have to...
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00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:37,100
Look, we're going to have to have a baby
together, and I think we should
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introduce ourselves. My name is Vinnie
Barberino. We're in a fish bank.
155
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Oh, of course, Jack.
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00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:47,320
Many happy, many times in the day, I'm
sure. And this is my husband, Sidney.
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Sidney.
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Oh!
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Is it born yet?
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Sport,
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let me ask you something. Have you had
much experience in delivery?
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Yeah, I deliver dry cleaning.
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00:14:04,140 --> 00:14:05,560
I'm an old hand at this.
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00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:11,340
I'm going to get the doctor on the
phone. No problem, no problem. We've
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00:14:11,340 --> 00:14:12,360
this many times before.
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00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:16,440
Seven times to be exact, huh, Myna?
Sidney, I'm trying to relax.
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00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,840
Don't remind me that I've already got
seven children.
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00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:24,860
Come on, Myna. They're all great kids.
And this isn't the worst place you ever
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gave birth.
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Take our fourth kid.
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He was born in Shea Stadium.
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On a 50 -yard line.
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00:14:33,580 --> 00:14:35,140
So we call him Broadway Joe.
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00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,520
Broadway Joe Fishman.
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00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:41,500
Yes, very original. Mm -hmm.
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Oh, he's a great athlete, that kid, but
not as good as his brother, Muhammad.
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00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,020
Muhammad Fishman? Yeah.
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Born ringside.
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The Ali Norton fight.
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00:14:52,820 --> 00:14:55,320
So, an elevator, big deal.
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00:14:55,780 --> 00:14:57,080
What are you going to name this kid?
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00:14:57,540 --> 00:14:58,540
Otis?
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00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:08,250
All this talk about how tough it is to
have a baby is just a lot of malarkey.
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00:15:08,590 --> 00:15:09,850
Easy for you to say.
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00:15:10,550 --> 00:15:12,750
When the going gets rough, you take off.
186
00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:18,810
Sidney thinks a man's place during
childbirth is with his bartender.
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00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:23,270
You guys are going to have a hard time
getting out of this one, huh, Sid?
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00:15:26,450 --> 00:15:31,230
Quick thinking, huh, Sid?
189
00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:36,770
Yankees just went down for the count.
190
00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:40,850
All right. The doctor says that you got
to take deep breaths in order to feel
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00:15:40,850 --> 00:15:41,890
better. Ready?
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00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:48,050
I got to see what he says.
193
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,330
Doctor, listen. I got to ask you a
question.
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00:15:52,830 --> 00:15:55,370
Look, now, if it's a boy, do I got to
take care of that religious stuff?
195
00:15:59,410 --> 00:16:00,990
No? Oh, good.
196
00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:03,530
Good. Hey, come on, doc. Look.
197
00:16:04,090 --> 00:16:05,830
I'm in the medical profession, you know.
198
00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:09,350
Oh, no, okay, fine.
199
00:16:11,110 --> 00:16:12,790
Look, oh, he wants to talk to you. Come
here.
200
00:16:14,950 --> 00:16:17,510
Let me give you a hand. Sit down, lay
down. Take it easy. Take a look.
201
00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:18,769
It's okay.
202
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:19,770
It's okay.
203
00:16:22,450 --> 00:16:23,450
Hello, doctor?
204
00:16:25,230 --> 00:16:27,970
The contractions are about a minute
apart.
205
00:16:29,790 --> 00:16:32,050
No, the other births were all normal.
206
00:16:32,270 --> 00:16:33,270
No complications.
207
00:16:35,050 --> 00:16:36,870
Oh, hello, Nurse Bonnie.
208
00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:40,210
Yes, we have medical insurance.
209
00:16:42,610 --> 00:16:44,570
My social security number?
210
00:16:45,650 --> 00:16:47,890
Is that necessary right now?
211
00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:53,070
521 -460... Oh.
212
00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:54,790
Oh!
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00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:59,590
Come on, hang in there, I'm with you.
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00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:03,610
Maternity elevator.
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00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:56,880
What's up, Mr. Cronkite?
216
00:17:58,900 --> 00:18:01,800
Oh, you want to give me the key to the
city? Oh, thank you.
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00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:09,340
But it was really nothing. It was, you
know, just the average day and an
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00:18:09,340 --> 00:18:10,360
orderly's life.
219
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:14,400
You know, the elevator gets stuck, you
deliver a baby.
220
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:15,680
I was ignored.
221
00:18:17,940 --> 00:18:21,940
Oh, Barbara Walters, really? No, I'd
love to go to dinner with you, but...
222
00:18:22,730 --> 00:18:26,170
I just can't. I really, I got more
important things to do right now.
223
00:18:26,850 --> 00:18:28,290
Like tile hygiene.
224
00:18:32,930 --> 00:18:33,930
Benny!
225
00:18:34,550 --> 00:18:35,550
Oh, Benny!
226
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:41,670
Benny, oh, wait till you see him. He's
all pink and healthy and ready to face
227
00:18:41,670 --> 00:18:43,890
the world like a brave little soldier.
228
00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:47,850
Oh, that's great. The baby's okay.
229
00:18:48,370 --> 00:18:50,510
I don't know. I'm talking about Mr.
Fishbone.
230
00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:55,110
Hey, Vinnie, let me tell you something.
If I was you, I'd get out of town right
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00:18:55,110 --> 00:18:56,930
away. I just got to look at that kid.
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00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,150
Kid's all red, wrinkled, and distorted.
233
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,350
Yeah, he kind of looks like a little Mr.
Woodman, you know?
234
00:19:05,510 --> 00:19:08,770
You know, come to think of it, Mr.
Woodman looks like a little Mr. Woodman.
235
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,350
Yeah, come on, let's go up and see the
baby. Oh, yeah, I love babies.
236
00:19:12,630 --> 00:19:13,630
Hey, Vinnie, check it out, bro.
237
00:19:14,130 --> 00:19:15,590
The doctor said that the kid is perfect.
238
00:19:16,310 --> 00:19:17,990
He said he couldn't have done a better
job himself.
239
00:19:18,890 --> 00:19:19,890
He did good.
240
00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:20,889
You were great.
241
00:19:20,890 --> 00:19:21,890
We're all proud of you, Vinnie.
242
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:26,200
Yeah, well, thanks, Mr. Cronkite, but
it's just an average day and average art
243
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,200
of his life.
244
00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:29,180
Walter Cronkite?
245
00:19:30,740 --> 00:19:32,740
Hey, Vinnie, you been sniffing Mott &
Glow again?
246
00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:38,400
No, it's just that, you know, I try real
hard to do something to impress Nurse
247
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,800
Bonnie, and I get ignored, you know.
248
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,140
Hey, look, nobody's ignoring you. Look,
just give them a chance, and they're
249
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:48,360
gonna... Look, here comes Mr. Fish by
now. Stand back and reap your reward.
250
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:49,360
a wonderful day.
251
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:51,340
A wonderful day!
252
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,800
What did I tell you? The Jets won.
253
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,160
17 to 14.
254
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,060
Pulled it out at the last minute.
255
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,780
Oh, listen. I want to thank you for
everything you've done. Everything.
256
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:09,380
And to show our appreciation, we want to
name the baby after you. So, what's
257
00:20:09,380 --> 00:20:10,380
your name again?
258
00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:11,860
Vinnie. Vinnie Barbarino.
259
00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:14,060
Vinnie.
260
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:15,960
Vinnie Fishbein.
261
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:20,040
You play baseball?
262
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,380
Yeah. What position?
263
00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:22,840
I used to play right field.
264
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:26,420
Great. In your honor, we're going to
name the kid Reggie.
265
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:28,400
Reggie Fishbine.
266
00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:30,520
Don't that have a ring to it?
267
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,360
Reggie Fishbine.
268
00:20:35,020 --> 00:20:39,140
See that? I delivered a guy's baby, and
he names him after a candy bar.
269
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:43,820
Nothing ever changes.
270
00:20:44,260 --> 00:20:47,800
If any things do change, man, don't
worry about it, man. That's not
271
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:48,940
That don't matter. You know what
matters?
272
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,340
What matters is the way Nurse Bonnie's
going to be treating you from now on.
273
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:56,000
Check it out, man. She'll worship the
ground you mop on.
274
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,040
Barbarino. Yeah?
275
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:03,480
I want you to stop entertaining these
delinquents. I've got work for you to
276
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:04,840
Out! Out!
277
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,400
I was leaving anyway, baby.
278
00:21:08,540 --> 00:21:12,020
I want you to take the mop and the pail
and put them in the closet.
279
00:21:13,260 --> 00:21:15,080
Because you're working in emergency.
280
00:21:15,780 --> 00:21:16,780
You're kidding.
281
00:21:26,459 --> 00:21:29,140
Severino, if I'd known you were going to
do that, I'd have given you this
282
00:21:29,140 --> 00:21:30,140
assignment sooner.
283
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:44,220
Ah, what a rewarding experience, you
know.
284
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,280
Bringing a new life into the world.
285
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:50,680
Who are you kidding, Arnold?
286
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:54,140
Mrs. Fishbein brought a life into the
world. We were more worried about
287
00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:55,140
you back to life.
288
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,020
That's not true, Beauregard.
289
00:22:01,300 --> 00:22:04,380
Come on, come on, Arnold. You were
turning all kinds of colors, huh?
290
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,940
I mean, for a while there, you looked
like the jolly green midwife.
291
00:22:10,020 --> 00:22:14,440
That's right, Arnold, man. Your eyes,
your eyes were so bugged out that it
292
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:15,600
two of us to help you blink.
293
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:23,920
Well, listen, to you, you helped deliver
one baby and you think you know Mr.
294
00:22:24,140 --> 00:22:25,140
Stork personally.
295
00:22:32,330 --> 00:22:34,970
We can look at it through the window.
Oh, right. You got the baby. Right on.
296
00:22:46,670 --> 00:22:47,890
Hey, um, look.
297
00:22:48,330 --> 00:22:51,430
Why don't we, um, walk up? It'd be good
for the exercise.
298
00:22:51,650 --> 00:22:52,650
Yeah.
299
00:22:53,290 --> 00:22:55,530
Sure, sure. It's only, uh, nine floors.
300
00:22:57,350 --> 00:22:58,550
Yeah, we'll take the seating for you.
301
00:22:58,750 --> 00:23:00,230
Yeah, I'll make sure you don't get lost.
302
00:23:24,590 --> 00:23:28,830
It's much better. You want to try it? In
with the good air, out with the bad.
303
00:23:31,530 --> 00:23:32,130
Welcome
304
00:23:32,130 --> 00:23:46,370
back.
305
00:23:47,650 --> 00:23:50,630
Your dreams were your ticket out.
306
00:23:51,770 --> 00:23:52,910
Welcome back.
307
00:23:53,930 --> 00:23:57,630
To that same old place that you laughed
about.
308
00:23:58,450 --> 00:24:02,050
Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
309
00:24:02,830 --> 00:24:06,550
But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
310
00:24:07,790 --> 00:24:12,510
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd
have thought they'd lead ya? Back here
311
00:24:12,510 --> 00:24:18,790
where we need ya. Back here where we
need ya. We tease him a lot. Cause we
312
00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:21,250
him on the spot. Welcome back.
313
00:24:22,220 --> 00:24:25,820
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome
back.
314
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:29,880
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome
back.
315
00:24:31,100 --> 00:24:34,240
We always could spot a friend.
316
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:36,540
Welcome back.
317
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:41,240
And I smile when I think how you must
have been.
318
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:45,820
And I know what a scene you were
learning in.
319
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:50,060
Was there something that made you come
back again?
320
00:24:50,910 --> 00:24:53,150
And what could ever lead you?
321
00:24:53,450 --> 00:24:55,310
What could ever lead you?
322
00:24:55,570 --> 00:24:59,570
Back here where we need you. Back here
where we need you.
323
00:24:59,810 --> 00:25:03,430
Yeah, we tease him a lot because we got
him on the spot.
25942
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