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An amazing story, my dear, was the story
of my Uncle Julian.
2
00:00:06,290 --> 00:00:10,730
Oh, why don't you tell me about Uncle
Julian? Uncle Julian was raised by wild
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00:00:10,730 --> 00:00:11,730
dogs.
4
00:00:11,930 --> 00:00:12,930
Oh, interesting.
5
00:00:13,090 --> 00:00:17,050
Yes, and when he was 12 years old, he
was brought to civilization, and he went
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00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:20,890
to school, he learned everything, he
graduated from high school, took the
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00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:23,210
service test, and became a mailman.
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00:00:23,610 --> 00:00:24,610
You're kidding.
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00:00:24,970 --> 00:00:28,810
That's great. What happened to him? What
happened? He got fired. He used to bite
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00:00:28,810 --> 00:00:30,610
himself on the leg when he was
delivering the mail.
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00:00:41,930 --> 00:00:43,230
Welcome back.
12
00:00:44,350 --> 00:00:47,470
Your dreams were your ticket out.
13
00:00:48,430 --> 00:00:54,370
Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.
14
00:00:55,210 --> 00:00:58,810
Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
15
00:00:59,530 --> 00:01:03,350
But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
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00:01:04,530 --> 00:01:09,270
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd
have thought they'd lead ya? Back here
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00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,430
where we need ya. Back here.
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00:01:15,759 --> 00:01:20,980
Welcome back. Welcome back.
19
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:22,320
Welcome back.
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00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:42,880
I understand it.
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00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:45,000
Somewhere there's got to be a girl for
me.
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00:01:46,780 --> 00:01:49,000
Oh, Arnold, come on. Of course there is,
Arnold.
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00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:52,140
And someday, someday you're going to
meet her.
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00:01:52,860 --> 00:01:55,500
I ever heard there's a rumor going
around that Godzilla has a daughter.
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00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:58,600
Come on, Arnold.
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00:01:58,860 --> 00:02:00,600
Come on, champ. I'm only kidding around
here.
27
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:02,860
Cheryl Kipnis ain't the only ass chick
in Brooklyn.
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00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,280
Yeah, and this ain't the worst thing
that ever happened either.
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00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:09,639
Oh, Vinnie, Vinnie, you don't know what
it's like to always get dumped by girls.
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00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:11,440
No.
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00:02:14,670 --> 00:02:15,670
But you do.
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00:02:18,230 --> 00:02:22,390
Hey, Arnold, Arnold, don't worry about
it. Look on the brighter side. One day
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00:02:22,390 --> 00:02:25,870
you're going to be able to look back on
all of this and burst into tears.
34
00:02:27,650 --> 00:02:31,130
Yeah, look at Arnold. Maybe this Cheryl
Kipnis, you know, she's just playing
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00:02:31,130 --> 00:02:32,069
hard to get.
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00:02:32,070 --> 00:02:33,490
Oh, little one, you don't understand.
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00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:40,130
A girl is not playing hard to get when
she says, Arnold, if you was the last
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on earth, I'd start dating trees.
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Donald, girls like you.
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00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:50,400
Watch this.
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00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,080
Angie, come here.
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00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:55,280
Yeah? I'm going to prove this to you.
I'm going to prove it to you.
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00:02:55,780 --> 00:02:57,680
How about showing Horshack a good time?
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00:02:57,980 --> 00:02:58,980
Are you kidding?
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She's busy.
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00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,940
Laura, Laura, come here.
47
00:03:05,580 --> 00:03:06,478
Yeah, Vinny?
48
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,040
How about taking Horshack out?
49
00:03:08,380 --> 00:03:10,300
Sure. As long as I can bring a date
along.
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00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:15,340
Face it, Vinny, I'm just a loser.
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00:03:15,980 --> 00:03:17,460
Last night I called...
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00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:18,459
a date.
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00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:19,620
They hung up on me.
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Hey, it's after three.
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00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,520
You Pheebs are holding a seance.
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00:03:27,180 --> 00:03:28,900
See if you can contact your brains.
57
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,760
Hey, come on. Let it be, Mr. Woodman.
58
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,780
Arnold Horschak, he's got the blues.
We're trying to cheer him up. Cheer him
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00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:42,120
That's insane. Every man has a right to
misery, depression.
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00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:43,940
Arnold more than most.
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00:03:50,410 --> 00:03:53,010
Why don't you go find a volcano and
check it out from the inside?
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00:03:58,210 --> 00:03:59,210
Mañana, guys.
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00:03:59,430 --> 00:04:00,630
What do you mean, mañana?
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00:04:05,430 --> 00:04:09,690
What are you talking about? We're going
to be over your house watching TV
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00:04:09,690 --> 00:04:11,450
tonight. Why don't you stop by?
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00:04:14,990 --> 00:04:18,230
Yeah, and don't come empty -handed like
you did last time.
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00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:21,720
That was tacky, very tacky.
68
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,580
Go stop by and get some Fig Newtons.
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00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,540
Fig Newtons, sure you don't want some
milk to wash it down with, you know,
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00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:29,540
get stuck in your throat.
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00:04:29,780 --> 00:04:32,600
Well, what is the part that gets stuck
in your throat, the fig or the newton?
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00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:38,060
Vinny, I think your figs got stuck to
your newton a long time ago.
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00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:41,900
Look,
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00:04:43,260 --> 00:04:45,440
guys, I don't think there's going to be
any TV watching.
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00:04:45,740 --> 00:04:47,360
I'm going to be busy every night this
week.
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00:04:48,290 --> 00:04:50,930
Busy every night this week, so starting
already.
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00:04:51,610 --> 00:04:54,370
I figured a man like you would get the
itch sooner or later.
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00:04:55,110 --> 00:04:56,850
I don't have any itches, Mr. Woodman.
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00:04:57,410 --> 00:04:58,830
I'm teaching a class at NYU.
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00:05:00,390 --> 00:05:01,710
That's what he tells the old lady.
81
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,830
Tell me, I've caught her this class.
82
00:05:05,190 --> 00:05:06,190
Does she have a sister?
83
00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:14,830
Why does that Mr. Woodman have to be
like that?
84
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,720
Mr. Carter would never cheat on the
missus.
85
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:19,260
Yeah, who could he get?
86
00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:26,320
Look, Mr. Carter, if you need somebody
to stop by and check up on the wife and
87
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:27,720
kids, well, we'd be glad to.
88
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:32,140
You know something, Juan? Maybe that's
not a bad idea. Why don't you guys check
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00:05:32,140 --> 00:05:34,580
in on Julie and the girls? Say no more,
Mr. Carter.
90
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,920
We'll leave your woman alone for a
minute.
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00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:39,280
That's not exactly what I meant.
92
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,620
Oh, it's okay, Mr. Carter.
93
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,640
Where else does a person like me have to
go?
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00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:48,300
Yeah.
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00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:57,960
Hey, Mr. Todd, don't worry about
nothing, huh? Just leave a phone number
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00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:59,420
we drop one of the twins or something.
97
00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:06,660
Come on, Al. Come over and check out
some television.
98
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:09,700
Oh, Cheryl.
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00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:11,300
Cheryl.
100
00:06:19,419 --> 00:06:23,080
Look at that guy. Look at that guy with
the big bazooka. He's going right after
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the tank all by himself.
102
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,400
Ooh, man, he's got guts.
103
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,340
Ooh, he do got guts.
104
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,200
All over the place.
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00:06:36,180 --> 00:06:39,140
He looks like a waffle with a helmet on.
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00:06:48,010 --> 00:06:49,010
What are you doing here? Hey.
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00:06:51,730 --> 00:06:55,410
Juan, do you really expect the baby to
sleep through machine gun fire and
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00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:57,510
attacks? Well, they do at my house.
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00:06:58,270 --> 00:06:59,930
And I don't even have a TV set.
110
00:07:04,970 --> 00:07:08,350
Okay. Now, I don't want to be rude, but
who invited you over?
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00:07:08,650 --> 00:07:10,350
Miss Catty, you ought to be grateful.
112
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,750
An hour ago, this place was a total
wreck.
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00:07:13,370 --> 00:07:15,990
That's because an hour ago, you totally
wrecked it.
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00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:22,500
butlers now, ain't it? But that's
because you have trained Arnold to clean
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00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:23,500
after you.
116
00:07:25,060 --> 00:07:28,160
You know, sometimes you guys really
treat Arnold like a dog.
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00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,520
Are you kidding? I wouldn't treat my dog
like that.
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00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,740
He might get dishpan paw.
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00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,940
It's all right, Mrs. Cotter. I don't
mind, really.
120
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:48,180
Yeah. He's a little horse shack
homemaker.
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00:07:50,740 --> 00:07:54,420
Ah, come on, let's go. There ain't
nothing on TV anyway except some old
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The Ear That Ate Nebraska.
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00:07:58,420 --> 00:08:00,520
Ooh, I didn't see that one yet.
124
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,640
Yes, you did, but you checked it out.
Don't remember?
125
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,120
They got saved in the end by a giant Q
-tip.
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00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,140
Well, bye.
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00:08:10,340 --> 00:08:12,300
Yeah, thanks a lot, Mrs. Carter.
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00:08:12,540 --> 00:08:14,240
Good night. Arnold, ain't you coming?
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00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,160
Oh.
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00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:17,920
I'll meet you. I want to finish this.
131
00:08:18,140 --> 00:08:19,140
All right.
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00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,980
Arnold, you know, I really appreciate
you staying and cleaning up.
133
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,860
You know, I want to do something nice
for you. Mr. Cotter's going to be gone
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00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:33,200
every night this week. Why don't you
come over one night and have dinner?
135
00:08:33,460 --> 00:08:35,480
Thank you, Mrs. Cotter. You're very
kind.
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00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:38,080
Okay. Get my mind off of other things.
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00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:44,260
Hey, you know, Mrs. Cotter, this
detergent really is milder to your
138
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,180
Good night, Mrs. Carter.
139
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:52,940
Arnold, are you okay?
140
00:08:53,580 --> 00:08:54,920
You seem troubled.
141
00:08:55,220 --> 00:08:57,920
A man has to learn to hide his pain.
142
00:08:58,600 --> 00:08:59,940
Arnold, you're a boy.
143
00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:01,620
Oh.
144
00:09:03,980 --> 00:09:07,380
In that case, I'm miserable.
145
00:09:08,820 --> 00:09:12,600
Oh, come on, Arnold. Sit down. Let's
talk about it, okay?
146
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:18,320
Cheryl Kipnis.
147
00:09:20,699 --> 00:09:22,920
Yes. She'd rather date a birch tree.
148
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:28,020
She would rather date a birch tree.
149
00:09:28,660 --> 00:09:31,100
Are we talking about a girl here or a
woodchuck?
150
00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:33,700
A girl.
151
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,980
Okay. You asked Cheryl out and she said
no.
152
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,140
How'd you ask her out?
153
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,000
How? With my mouth. How else would I ask
her out?
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00:09:44,180 --> 00:09:45,180
Okay, Arnold.
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00:09:45,690 --> 00:09:49,310
I want you to ask me out the same way
you asked Cheryl out.
156
00:09:49,530 --> 00:09:56,470
I want you to approach me the same way
you approached
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00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:57,470
her. Come on.
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00:09:58,090 --> 00:09:59,210
Okay. Okay.
159
00:10:01,970 --> 00:10:02,970
Cheryl,
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00:10:03,850 --> 00:10:06,150
I'd like to ask you something.
161
00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:07,490
Okay.
162
00:10:08,750 --> 00:10:13,970
Cheryl, would you like to...
163
00:10:21,290 --> 00:10:22,290
You too, huh?
164
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:27,510
Arnold, how can you ask a girl out from
another room?
165
00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:30,730
Well, I just didn't want to be there
when she said no.
166
00:10:31,670 --> 00:10:36,070
Arnold, you have to be... You have to be
direct. You've got to be assertive.
167
00:10:36,610 --> 00:10:38,470
You've also... You've got to be
romantic.
168
00:10:39,710 --> 00:10:40,770
Romantic? Yeah.
169
00:10:41,290 --> 00:10:42,290
Me?
170
00:10:42,450 --> 00:10:44,070
Arnold, ooh -ooh, horse shack?
171
00:10:45,450 --> 00:10:47,890
Yeah, you. Arnold, ooh -ooh, horse
shack.
172
00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:53,550
You know, Arnold, one day... A girl's
going to open up that romantic part of
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00:10:53,550 --> 00:10:54,550
you.
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00:10:55,390 --> 00:10:57,450
And she's going to be a very lucky girl.
175
00:10:58,990 --> 00:11:00,490
Well, thank you, Mrs. Carter.
176
00:11:01,610 --> 00:11:02,910
You're very understanding.
177
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,630
You've got to take chances, Arnold.
178
00:11:06,330 --> 00:11:07,330
I will.
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00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:10,610
If you want something, you've got to
reach out and grab it. I will.
180
00:11:11,030 --> 00:11:13,150
Is there something you want, Arnold? My
hat.
181
00:11:14,390 --> 00:11:16,330
Reach for it. Pretend it's Cheryl.
182
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:18,250
Cheryl? Cheryl.
183
00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:19,890
Cheryl, could I...
184
00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:00,030
Julie. Julie Horschak.
185
00:12:07,510 --> 00:12:10,050
I don't believe it. It's true.
186
00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:13,190
Arnold Horschak in love with me?
187
00:12:13,410 --> 00:12:16,170
That's right. He says you're the first
woman who ever turned him on.
188
00:12:18,970 --> 00:12:19,849
That's right.
189
00:12:19,850 --> 00:12:21,550
And we didn't even know Arnold had
switches.
190
00:12:26,380 --> 00:12:28,400
I know. It just don't make sense to do
it.
191
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,880
I mean, how can anyone fall in love with
a person who wears glasses?
192
00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:36,340
Mr. Cotter managed.
193
00:12:36,940 --> 00:12:39,240
Yeah, but he's into that mind stuff.
194
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:43,320
You know, boy, you should have checked
Arnold out today at lunch, man. He was
195
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:47,500
going nuts, boy. She loves me. She loves
me not. She loves me. She loves me not.
196
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,040
She loves me. She loves me not.
197
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,660
That's the first time I've ever seen a
guy pluck mashed potatoes.
198
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,740
And then he said, you touched him.
199
00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:57,380
In a whole new way.
200
00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:01,020
Yeah, you know, because most girls who
are involved with Arnold, they touch him
201
00:13:01,020 --> 00:13:02,020
with a ten -foot pole.
202
00:13:03,940 --> 00:13:05,680
Yeah, so get this, okay?
203
00:13:07,180 --> 00:13:10,420
Arnold Horschak thinks you're madly in
love with him, too.
204
00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:12,960
All I do is talk.
205
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,960
Yeah, but that's the farthest Arnold
ever got with a girl.
206
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:18,640
Yeah.
207
00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:23,020
Yeah, you know, they usually just shake
his hand and lead him over to a quiet
208
00:13:23,020 --> 00:13:24,340
corner and just leave him there.
209
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:29,720
You have to go leading them on and
treating them like a full -length
210
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:36,200
Hey, now, come on, Vinnie. Now, Miss
Katya here is a happily married woman.
211
00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:39,520
Oh, come on. How happily married could
she be if she's fooling around with
212
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:40,520
Horschak?
213
00:13:43,980 --> 00:13:47,520
I am not interested in Arnold Horschak.
214
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:49,040
Come on.
215
00:13:53,770 --> 00:13:56,190
I mean, you did invite him over to
dinner, didn't you?
216
00:13:56,530 --> 00:13:58,810
That's right, because he helped me clean
up.
217
00:13:59,030 --> 00:14:00,690
Yeah, but then you held his hand, didn't
you?
218
00:14:01,050 --> 00:14:03,790
And then you put your arm around him,
didn't you? And then you kissed him,
219
00:14:03,850 --> 00:14:04,469
didn't you?
220
00:14:04,470 --> 00:14:05,510
Yes, I kissed him!
221
00:14:05,870 --> 00:14:08,670
See, I told you, now he won't wash his
face for another year.
222
00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:15,470
I kissed him because he was hurting. I
would have done the same thing for
223
00:14:15,470 --> 00:14:17,170
anybody I cared about that was hurting.
224
00:14:43,020 --> 00:14:45,060
give you much time to get yourself fixed
up to it.
225
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:50,060
And look, get yourself all pretty and
everything because this is very
226
00:14:50,060 --> 00:14:51,780
for him. He even brushed his teeth.
227
00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:58,380
You know, Vinnie, you better stay away
from squirrels because one day one of
228
00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:00,820
them is going to mistake your brain for
an acorn and bury it.
229
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:06,920
That's not very nice.
230
00:15:08,420 --> 00:15:11,180
Now look, Mrs. Carter, I was just a
young kid.
231
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,500
He ain't even got all of his pimples
yet.
232
00:15:14,660 --> 00:15:16,240
I mean, just go easy on him.
233
00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:18,800
Ron, what kind of a woman do you think I
am?
234
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,080
Do we really have to talk about that
right now?
235
00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:23,940
Bye.
236
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:27,080
All right, Mrs. Cathy, all right. Okay,
now, we all know that you can handle
237
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,620
this, all right? Mm -hmm. All you have
to do is explain to Arnold that he's
238
00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:31,220
experienced a schoolboy crush.
239
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:35,420
And if that... And if that don't work,
do the very next best thing.
240
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:37,160
Marry him.
241
00:15:38,820 --> 00:15:39,820
Out. Check out.
242
00:15:41,770 --> 00:15:44,750
This experience tonight has been a maxi
-bummer.
243
00:15:54,730 --> 00:15:55,730
Julie?
244
00:15:57,030 --> 00:15:59,030
Honey, I'm leaving. Have a nice time.
245
00:15:59,410 --> 00:16:00,410
You too.
246
00:16:00,830 --> 00:16:02,490
Who did you say was coming over for
dinner?
247
00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:03,830
Arnold Horshack.
248
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,050
Oh.
249
00:16:05,710 --> 00:16:07,090
Do you have enough handy wipes?
250
00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:14,599
See you later, baby.
251
00:17:03,310 --> 00:17:04,510
torture her any longer.
252
00:17:05,390 --> 00:17:06,390
Here.
253
00:17:09,250 --> 00:17:10,250
How original.
254
00:17:10,609 --> 00:17:11,869
A clump of dirt.
255
00:17:13,630 --> 00:17:16,050
Oh, wait. There's more. There's more.
Oh, good.
256
00:17:17,810 --> 00:17:19,390
I thought I'd let her breathe.
257
00:17:21,630 --> 00:17:25,069
Arnold, I'm a mess. My hair's soaking
wet. I just got out of the shower.
258
00:17:25,430 --> 00:17:27,950
Oh, you've always been such a kidder.
259
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,050
Julie! Julie! Julie!
260
00:17:35,290 --> 00:17:37,330
What is that exquisite aroma?
261
00:17:38,570 --> 00:17:40,730
Frained carrots and succotash.
262
00:17:41,450 --> 00:17:42,730
My favorite.
263
00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:46,890
It's not for you. I haven't fed the
babies yet.
264
00:17:47,210 --> 00:17:50,430
Oh, you're always so thoughtful as
usual.
265
00:17:50,990 --> 00:17:55,750
Julie, about the children. I think they
have a right to know about us.
266
00:17:56,990 --> 00:17:58,530
Arnold, no.
267
00:17:59,690 --> 00:18:02,030
Right again. Why drag them into this?
268
00:18:02,810 --> 00:18:04,770
Is this woman ever wrong?
269
00:18:05,490 --> 00:18:09,330
Arnold, come back to earth. Sit down.
We've got to talk. It's real important.
270
00:18:09,730 --> 00:18:10,730
I understand.
271
00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:13,250
No, I'm afraid you don't.
272
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:19,430
Listen, Mrs. Carter, Julie, you feel
guilty
273
00:18:19,430 --> 00:18:20,990
about Mr.
274
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:23,990
Carter. You needn't dump him.
275
00:18:29,710 --> 00:18:30,629
to be selfish.
276
00:18:30,630 --> 00:18:33,390
You've got to grab all the gusto you can
get.
277
00:18:39,170 --> 00:18:42,570
Arnold, no one but Mr. Cotter is allowed
to grab my gusto.
278
00:18:45,970 --> 00:18:49,510
I get it. I get it. You are an old
-fashioned girl.
279
00:18:49,810 --> 00:18:52,450
You want to hear it in an old -fashioned
way.
280
00:18:54,030 --> 00:18:55,130
Julie, my beloved.
281
00:19:02,670 --> 00:19:05,090
I do love you, but as a friend.
282
00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:08,250
I knew that all the time.
283
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:12,870
Arnold, would you stop that ridiculous
accent?
284
00:19:13,710 --> 00:19:15,670
Now, I love you as a friend.
285
00:19:15,930 --> 00:19:17,330
It's totally different.
286
00:19:19,390 --> 00:19:24,590
But you said that if I wanted something,
I should reach out and grab it.
287
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:26,610
But I didn't mean me.
288
00:19:27,230 --> 00:19:28,410
Well, what did you mean?
289
00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:32,550
I'm supposed to spend my whole life
reaching out for hats?
290
00:19:35,810 --> 00:19:39,290
You were the one that opened up this
romantic part of me in the first place.
291
00:19:40,290 --> 00:19:42,850
I know, and I'm flattered, Arnold.
292
00:19:43,290 --> 00:19:47,790
See, now you're going to have the
courage to go after girls your own age
293
00:19:47,790 --> 00:19:49,730
stop getting crushes on older women.
294
00:19:50,010 --> 00:19:52,290
You are an older woman, aren't you?
295
00:19:56,050 --> 00:19:57,290
I'm not that old.
296
00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:03,050
What's the difference? I'm just curious,
you know.
297
00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:06,190
I'm older than you, okay?
298
00:20:06,490 --> 00:20:07,750
Yeah, but how much older?
299
00:20:08,190 --> 00:20:11,090
What? It doesn't make any difference how
much older, Arnold.
300
00:20:11,350 --> 00:20:16,090
Gee, when I'm still in my prime, you're
going to be a very old lady.
301
00:20:18,330 --> 00:20:20,090
I'm not going to be that old.
302
00:20:20,310 --> 00:20:23,250
Oh, yeah, old, old lady, sure.
303
00:20:23,730 --> 00:20:25,970
I'm going to have to wheel you around.
304
00:20:26,950 --> 00:20:28,610
I'm going to have to feed you.
305
00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:32,940
Wipe the gruel off your chin.
306
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:40,800
Hey, hey, Mrs. Carter, I'm sorry, but
that's not the kind of life for a
307
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,620
energetic young buck such as myself.
308
00:20:46,220 --> 00:20:48,400
Sure didn't take you long to get over
me, did it?
309
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:54,259
Oh, Mrs.
310
00:20:54,260 --> 00:20:55,260
Carter, I...
311
00:20:59,630 --> 00:21:01,270
Stop by to pick up your remains.
312
00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:02,970
My remains?
313
00:21:03,490 --> 00:21:06,470
Yeah. After Mrs. Carter broke your
heart.
314
00:21:07,330 --> 00:21:09,090
Mrs. Carter didn't break my heart.
315
00:21:09,470 --> 00:21:12,030
She didn't? Well, she didn't break your
liver.
316
00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:15,990
Hey, listen, you guys. Mrs.
317
00:21:16,230 --> 00:21:18,410
Carter and I have come to an
understanding.
318
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,620
Sometimes these boys here can be a
little dense.
319
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,640
Really? I never noticed that.
320
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:51,800
Listen, fellas, I simply explained to
Mrs. Carter that an energetic young buck
321
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:58,780
such as myself cannot be slowed down by
an old... by a middle
322
00:21:58,780 --> 00:21:59,780
-aged lady.
323
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,480
How come you got that robe on?
324
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:04,440
Yeah, that's right.
325
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,220
Now, how are you going to explain that
to Mr. Carter?
326
00:22:07,970 --> 00:22:11,110
Listen, Arnold Horschak is acting with a
clear conscience.
327
00:22:11,430 --> 00:22:13,550
He is afraid of nothing.
328
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:15,690
Julie, I forgot some of my notes.
329
00:22:35,210 --> 00:22:36,710
Julie, the wet look is out.
330
00:22:40,590 --> 00:22:43,290
What's the matter with you, Arnold?
Nothing happened. Nothing happened. I
331
00:22:43,410 --> 00:22:46,210
nothing happened. I never touched you.
I'm a good boy. Don't hurt me. I got
332
00:22:46,210 --> 00:22:48,710
small bones. I'm a good boy. I'm a good
boy. Goodbye.
333
00:22:48,910 --> 00:22:49,910
I'm a good boy.
334
00:22:51,850 --> 00:22:52,950
Relax, Mr. Carter.
335
00:22:53,530 --> 00:22:54,710
Nothing really happened.
336
00:22:56,130 --> 00:22:58,410
At least that's what he told us.
337
00:23:02,190 --> 00:23:04,330
You really ought to buy your wife a new
bathrobe.
338
00:23:09,770 --> 00:23:11,750
I don't suppose I should ask you what
went on here tonight.
339
00:23:12,450 --> 00:23:13,450
Nah.
340
00:23:14,050 --> 00:23:15,050
I didn't think so.
341
00:23:21,510 --> 00:23:24,930
Why don't you tell me anyway?
342
00:23:25,650 --> 00:23:30,110
Well, at first there was this girl who
would rather date a birch tree, and then
343
00:23:30,110 --> 00:23:31,610
he was rejected by a woodchuck.
344
00:23:31,930 --> 00:23:35,610
Then he suddenly turned into either
Charles Boyer or Cary Grant. I'm not
345
00:23:35,610 --> 00:23:36,509
which one.
346
00:23:36,510 --> 00:23:37,850
All right, all right, all right.
347
00:23:38,620 --> 00:23:40,420
Save it. We'll have something to talk
about tonight.
348
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:45,640
What is this?
349
00:23:45,660 --> 00:23:47,000
Oh, Arnold brought that for dinner.
350
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,420
I don't know how many times I've told
him. It's red wine with dirt.
351
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:04,980
My uncle William was a pharmacist, but
he got fired.
352
00:24:05,620 --> 00:24:06,620
He did?
353
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:10,020
Yeah, they fired him when he was typing
out the directions on the labels. Why'd
354
00:24:10,020 --> 00:24:11,019
they fire him for that?
355
00:24:11,020 --> 00:24:13,120
Well, he kept trying to fit the bottles
into the typewriter.
356
00:24:26,820 --> 00:24:33,780
Welcome back Your dreams were your
ticket out Welcome
357
00:24:33,780 --> 00:24:34,780
back
358
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:39,080
See that same old place that you laughed
about.
359
00:24:39,940 --> 00:24:43,620
Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
360
00:24:44,300 --> 00:24:48,020
But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
361
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,220
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya?
362
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:56,800
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Back
here where we need ya. Back here where
363
00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:02,760
we need ya. We tease him a lot. But we
got him on the spot. Welcome back.
28636
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