Original subtitles

All right.

Perfect, Johnny.

Now, let's get that shoulder cleaned up and go again.

Um, I thought you said that was perfect.

Did I ever tell you why I hired you?

Well, because I'm the only acting stuntman you know who would work for

wage. You see? That honesty right there? That's why you're the man.

What's up, Mr. Hong Kong Fooey?

What's the deal, man? Who's writing this stuff, huh? Um, listen, Tasha, quick,

I'd like you to meet our director and writer.

Jeremy Hermetz.

Great. Brilliant, man.

Gonna be bigger than Crouching Tiger, huh? Thank you. Yes.

Lester's VIP.

You know, I can't tell you how thrilled I was to find out you'll be handling set

security. This guy comes with all the perks.

Perks? Yeah, you are paying for VIP services.

Even better.

Gross points, huh?

I pay half of my investors in Hong Kong, you guys will be paying big bucks.

And the next year.

Next year?

Yeah, oh, is that the time? I'd love to talk about this, but I gotta go.

What is this?

Okay, guys, listen.

Jeremy's an old friend, okay? I'm just doing him a favor. And he's gonna cover

our expenses.

Look, you guys love the movie business, right? And it's great for our profile.

Now you sound like Val.

Yeah, not to mention that you left the biz for a reason, Johnny Low Budget.

To keep a low profile?

From the tongue?

Hong Kong investors?

Isn't that a little too close for comfort?

Tasha, I'm like ancient history to the Tong, okay?

Really.

All right, well, it's not like you meant that big of a deal to them. Even Salman

Rushdie's going to premieres these days.

Trust me, guys, I'll be fine. The Tong guys who were after me, they're all in

jail.

Your stealing from me is not possible.

However, what is bothersome...

He's finding out you were paid by one of my competitors.

That was dishonest.

And that I cannot tolerate.

Think of me as the ironing chef.

Mr. Zhou.

I need to speak with you.

Can you not see that I am cooking?

This is important.

Fate has intervened.

Go home and be with your wife and children.

Tell them that Morton Joe let you live.

Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Joe.

What?

It's your daughter.

Catherine. Is she all right?

She's been kidnapped.

Oh, dear.

Jonas Simon.

We believe it's a retaliation for a protocon deal.

Another thing.

This just came to my attention.

The movie we invested in, Fist of the Dragon, Johnny Lowe was acting in it.

That man who testified against Han?

I thought he was taken care of.

The Tong was in disarray.

Until you took over leadership.

Pull me on the next flight to Los Angeles.

Killing Johnny Lowe will give you two something to do.

I'm longing for my daughter's life.

The beautiful and lethal Valerie Irons.

Plucked from obscurity to head an elite Los Angeles bodyguard agency.

They know how to get things done.

Eventually.

Everything's fine on this end.

Fine indeed.

Hey, hey, hey.

You're making an action flick with those T -shooters? Yeah.

This is what real heat looks like.

Bogey, Northgate.

Got you back. Let's go, Nick.

Well, what do we have here?

Nice and slow.

My acting reel. I was hoping to read for thug number six.

Okay.

Get it down.

Can we meet our producer?

Bexie Erickson!

I'm such a big fan. I've seen all your movies.

Valerie Iron.

Oh, my goodness.

I'm such a bigger fan.

You are every woman's role model.

Oh, aren't we all?

You're going to have to show me some action pointers someday.

Oh, really? Well, I... Ladies, get a cavity here. Let's do the tap to shoot.

Okay, well, you know, I'll discuss this with you after you're out with your hair

and makeup.

Val, I've already been through hair and makeup.

What? Oh, well, lucky.

I brought a few things.

Eyelash.

You might need a little more hairspray. No, I don't need it.

It's easier.

Don't do this.

Rachel.

There. Wait a minute.

That's it.

I knew something was missing. This is our look.

Hey, you thought about producing?

Me? I don't think I'm going to take him seriously.

Catherine, Joe, let me tell you why you're here.

My father will kill you.

He could try.

But by then I'll have made up some of my losses.

You're not listening, you mimbo.

He doesn't pay ransoms. Well, you see, that's where you come in.

I'm going to walk you right into the bank and drain your account.

We don't need your daddy for that.

I'll never help you.

I thought the message we were sending to Joe was a toe tag with her name on it.

It is, you quarterwit.

But we might as well get some mileage out of her first.

First we drain her accounts.

Then I take away Morton Joe's baby, just like he took mine.

Sounds good.

Sleep tight.

You will knock evil warrior number two's pole away.

You have no poles.

I'm going to shoot in a 50. It's going to look great. Just right up there. Now,

he's going to go over to the wall.

See? Butterfly. Oh, yeah.

Now,

in the actual scene, he's going to break the pole. But right now, go easy,

because I've only got one breakaway pole.

Okay.

Now you have no pole.

Okay. So, now, we're fighting. It's passion. It's honor. It's betrayal.

It's everything. We're fighting. You don't like that movie. Remember that

There was a thing, and then that thing? Yeah, it's like that. And then all of a

sudden, you just go... You knock him upside the head.

Oh, sorry about that, big guy. You look great. Okay.

Now, our ninja appears.

You're early.

Now, our ninja enters.

And he pretends to throw his knife, and we cut there.

Huh?

Beautiful. What do you think?

Um, he's not going to throw the knife?

That'd endanger my best acting stuntman's life. I don't know. All

more thing. Um, you'll be wearing a mask, isn't it?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait a minute.

A mask?

How are people going to know it's me?

Hey, your moves are one of a kind, huh?

Can I get a fresca?

Here you go, sir.

Are you not going to open it?

I need you to sign off on a pre -class companion.

Val, this rack looks like a road map from Rodeo Drive.

As the head of the wardrobe department, I have made a creative decision.

I think that Johnny's character would wear Dolce Gabbana.

Look, one of these suits is more than our entire costume budget. We can't

it. Afford what?

Buy it, deck it off, and return it.

You can do that?

Yeah, as long as you don't soil it in any way.

Sweet.

Hey, ninja boy, don't you sweat on those pantalones.

They're returnable.

I'm serious. Have you ever thought about doing this for a living?

Why do you keep asking me that?

All right, just make sure you take care of it.

What is the word on my daughter?

We haven't been able to pinpoint where Simon is holding her. What about his

demands? He hasn't made any.

So you know nothing and you have done nothing. What are you waiting for? An

invitation to his Maribor beach house? We have made progress on Johnny Lowe.

My daughter means everything to me.

If anything happens to her while you are looking out for my best interests, you

will get whatever happens to her tenfold.

Yes, sir.

Tell me about this Johnny Lowe.

He's shooting at a soundstage in North Hollywood.

If you know that, then why is he still alive?

Our best people are on it right now.

And rolling.

And set.

Mark it. All right, guys, we're going to smoke. Everybody up. Here we go.

Jeremy. And action.

a costume.

is a better memory than I thought.

You know, when I put the old leader Han behind bars, I thought I was done with

the Tong.

The double -edged calling card says you were wrong.

Morton Joe is the new leader of the Tong.

He must be finishing Han's work.

So why are we waiting around for this yokel to show his face?

Let's find him and put him in this. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down.

First thing is to get Johnny to stop doing his impression of a sitting duck.

Quick's right.

No more movie work.

Listen, guys, I'm not going to flake out on Jeremy.

You guys are supposed to handle step security, right?

How do I keep getting talked into these things?

Because you know I'm right.

Kay, would you, um, Kay?

Can you check on, um... Already on it.

Morton, Joe?

has a daughter at UCLA, the former Miss Teen Hong Kong, who, by the way, has not

been at class for the last few days.

Well, Joe wouldn't let her go to school here without one of his flunkies keeping

an eye on her.

Have I talked to her? See?

There you go again.

Put your neck on the line. If anyone's going to talk to the town man's

daughter, it's me.

She lives in Westwood.

I'll keep you posted.

No, Desperado.

Listen, I gotta get back to the set.

But once we find Joe, I'll bring the fight to him.

I think you mean we bring the fight to him.

Let's go.

Hey, that's what I said five minutes ago.

Worked up an appetite yet?

You must be starving.

I'd rather die than take anything from you.

Oh, come on.

It's homemade.

Wait. If you let me go, I can persuade my dad just to forget this whole thing.

I like the spirit of cooperation.

Too bad we both know that's never going to happen.

Have you seen Douglas?

No. Lump was supposed to pick me up an hour ago. Where the hell is he?

Now, where is she?

I don't know what you're talking about. Really.

This is how we get answers at home, Colin.

Is my daughter alive?

She's alive.

She's alive. Just pull me up.

Pull me up!

Can you fly, Mr. Doakes? This isn't right. Then tell me what I want to hear.

Where's my daughter?

Okay,

okay. I'll tell you.

So you do know what I am talking about.

Honest, I don't know where she is, but I'll tell you what I know.

Do you have any children, Mr. Doakes?

No.

Wonderful thing, children.

Not only will you die for them, but you will also kill for them.

Do we understand each other?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, look, he's gonna smoke her on Tuesday, okay? That's all I

know. Why Tuesday?

That's the day he was supposed to close with Protocon.

He figured you'd appreciate the symbolism.

He's right.

Your job just got a lot harder.

Richard, Manny, and Frankie, and Nicky have the whole rest of the lot covered.

Okay, then I guess we're good to go.

Well, I wanted to talk to you about something. I think it's better for our

-term security if you use a double for the next couple of days.

Val, the whole reason that Jeremy hired me in the first place is that I could do

my own stunt doubling.

I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't use that tone of voice with your producer.

Producer?

Val, my favorite producer. What have you got for me?

We'll discuss this later.

I was thinking that we should use VIP in the next couple of action scenes. You

know, nobody kicks butt better.

I don't know.

Same rate for security?

We can negotiate.

Sweet.

Hey, Johnny.

Catherine hasn't been around in a couple of days, but her roommate knew that

Catherine's dad always stays at the Gibson Hotel when he's in town.

Well, maybe Kay can find out if he's around.

I'm way ahead of you.

He checked into room 517 yesterday.

We'll get the stage on lockdown.

We got security cameras linked to K, a tripwire circling the entire perimeter.

Says we're gonna just come back when we're ready.

Okay, good, good. Um, listen, I'm gonna go back to my trailer and get a little

shut -eye.

Then we'll figure this Catherine thing out, okay?

Love life.

Is it too much to ask for a decent night's sleep?

I could ask you for the same thing.

Johnny Lowe.

I can kill you anytime.

So what is stopping you?

I'd rather solve our problem peacefully.

You're gone.

You should have killed me when you had the chance.

Go ahead.

Pull the trigger.

If I die, gravity takes over.

And you go with me.

I am prepared to die.

Yeah.

So am I.

But perhaps there is another way.

If you were to do me a favor, I could erase the death sentence for your past

sins.

Talk faster. I'm getting tired.

Jonas Simon has kidnapped my daughter, Catherine.

Find her for me.

And if I can't?

Then the next time we meet, we will see where gravity takes us.

Uh, Jeremy, who's the biggest star you've ever worked with?

Well, I went through the straight -to -video number with the Taco Bell dog.

Oh, poor little guy.

Yeah. Originally, they wanted to use a cat, and I said, hello, cats don't eat

tacos.

Now, where's the karate kid? Come on, he's late, and I've got a film to shoot.

You're Jeremy Brickheimer? That's our friend you're talking about.

Hey.

Sorry I'm late.

I have to go see a man about a knife.

You hacked up your mortal enemy?

No, more like cut a deal.

Joe's in town because his daughter's been kidnapped.

Whoa, slow down, low down. We've got a big scene to film.

Not a problem.

Quick and Kay are doing some shoe leather.

There's nothing we can do until then.

And then, let me guess, the role of the rescuer will be played by VIP.

Well, I didn't want to ask.

Don't worry about it. We're not going to let you do this alone, Johnny, okay?

Belle, I need you here.

I wasn't talking about me.

Do you realize that your father, according to Forbes, is worth $2 .3

If you're expecting to find that kind of cash in my account, you're in for a big

surprise. I know.

There's only 15 mil in there.

I can live with that.

We'll keep you covered.

Careful cowboy.

What I need from you now is your social, account numbers, pin codes, you know,

all that fun stuff.

Time to...

Maybe to stop by.

We're in the neighborhood.

And cut.

Lexi.

Brilliant, as always.

Thank you. And you guys, you didn't half suck. Mel was right.

You ready for another take?

That was great for me.

Okay, moving on. Set up for scene 26.

Next scene, sex again, please. No words from Quicken, Kay.

I think they're zeroing in on Catherine's location even as we speak.

Zeroing by all the time we have.

Zoe said he's gonna kill her tomorrow.

Here

comes

our last hope. He spent two years in Lone Puck with one of Simon's

He should definitely know something.

He better, because I feel like I'm contracting loser -itis from these guys.

Someone who's willing to pay you for a little info.

What'd you hear about Jonah Simon?

He's got a thing for your mother. Now buzz off.

That was for my mother.

Okay, show the man some money. You're breaking my arm. Because I'm trying to.

Now, you can either use that money to pay off your doctor's bills or pocket it

and walk away.

How do you want to play it? Look, I don't owe Jonah Simon nothing. He's up

I'll tell you.

I guess he doesn't know how this game works.

Do you want me to call 911?

I could ask them to bring an arm splint and a fling.

Geez, all right, all right.

Look, I heard one of Simon's guys bragging about how they're going to

rich broad's bank account. When? Where?

That's all I know.

Tasa, you so need to learn how to carry a gun on camera.

For your information, I was a top marksman for the... CIA?

Maybe.

Heard that one before.

I'm on the preferred shoppers club at Macy's, but that doesn't make me a

sight at a shoe sale.

Catherine Cho has an account with the Wudong Bank in Hong Kong, which is the

parent company of the Beverly Hills National Bank.

Well, now we're getting somewhere.

Or not.

There are over 20 branches in the metropolitan area.

So we find out which branch and head Simon off on the way.

I can hack into the bank's mainframe, but their account information is

encrypted. So decrypt it.

Even if I run a random password generator, that could take up to 24

we don't have that kind of time.

Simple Simon's emptying the account today.

Pull up the bank VP in charge of branch operation.

Coming right up.

Ooh, Hottie McHottie. Can you sit beside that?

Glad you approve.

Because you're the one who's going to be sweet -talking him.

Oh, is that what they call it now?

You know,

whatever's on your mind can't be any worse than the jam I'm already in.

Even if we figure out what branch Catherine will be at.

How do we know that Joe will live up to his end of the bargain?

So you don't believe in honor among thieves?

Thieves? Yeah.

Cold -blooded killers?

No.

Love the optimism.

The truth is, though, I'm not too ready to bet my own life on Morton Joe's

trustworthiness either.

But I got a plan.

How can I help you, Miss, uh...

Joe.

Actually, very easily.

I was supposed to have lunch with my sister Catherine at Spago, but I

quite remember if she said Beverly Hills or the Hollywood Spago, but I did

remember that she said she had an appointment at the bank first, so I was

wondering if you could tell me which branch that she had an appointment at,

then I could find out which Spago.

Have you tried calling her?

Oh, no.

Oh, no. I don't know what kind of an idiot I am. You obviously don't know

Catherine.

What if I open an account?

For, say, $1 ,000.

Miss Jo, we're not at liberty to discuss our client's information.

Uh -huh.

Does he admit she's a client?

Yes, but... Oh, so much for your confidentiality policy.

So if I were to open an account here, would you just go broadcasting it to

anybody who just walks through the door? He's going to broadcast it everywhere.

Please, we... What about this woman over here? Are you going to tell me about

her? Please, sit down.

We can take care of this.

Oh. No, no, it's okay.

My sister is waiting.

Let me see what I can do here.

She's scheduled for an appointment at our 6th Street branch at noon.

Really?

Thank you.

Do you have any more of those three monkeys?

VIP.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Got it.

That was Val.

Simon's going to hit the 6th Street branch in one hour.

Time to make a withdrawal.

What if Johnny Lowe succeeds?

I am counting on it.

What if we let Johnny go?

The tongue will appear weak.

If I was worried about appearances, I would have killed you long ago.

Do I look like an idiot?

After Johnny returns my daughter, he will die.

Okay, we're in position.

Roger that, blue team.

Red team, are you go?

Red is hot.

What about you, white team? Are you go?

I'm good to go.

You withdraw, Flint.

Like some tellers are going to hand me $15 million and a free calendar.

I've already informed the bank of your desire to close your account.

What if I refuse?

You're going to sue me in front of all those witnesses?

I was hoping it wouldn't come to that.

But as a precaution, Mr. Conley will be taking my place.

I'd hate to see you misbehave, because he will shoot you.

Simon's Hummer just passed the checkpoint.

We're go for launch.

Let's kick it.

Your worst nightmare, VIP.

Your kidnapping days are over, Jonas.

You got that, Kay?

Cops are on their way.

Hey, want to go for a ride?

Here.

Thanks.

Your father should be already waiting at the drop point.

Come on, how about it?

Lovely view.

What the hell are we doing up here?

Johnny Lowe suggested it.

Neutral ground.

What the hell was I thinking?

Trusting my daughter's life in the hands of my enemy.

Daddy!

You mean former enemy.

Catherine!

Did Simon hurt you?

Only if you consider not letting me shower for three days, Torture. Yes.

Follow Wu down to the car.

I need to conclude my business with Mr. Lo.

Okay, Dad.

Thanks, Johnny.

Well, I lived up to my end of the bargain.

I am a man of my word.

For rescuing my daughter, you'll pass with a tall, busy waist.

But...

For speaking into my hotel room and threatening to kill me for that you must

What

took you so long traffic was a bitch

You killed Johnny.

What?

You betrayed the Tong?

You died.

But I have no quarrel with you.

You're gonna pay for that.

Now's not the time, Nick.

We can all walk away.

Yeah, you're right.

We can't bring Johnny back now.

All right.

Let's all put him away.

Nice and easy.

Well, I guess we're done here.

Not quite.

Where are you going?

I want to see Johnny's broken corpse with my own two eyes.

Well, you can't.

He's on our turf, so maybe next time.

Isn't it enough that you killed our colleague, our friend, and Nicky's

future ex -husband?

You got your daughter back.

Now, please, for the mother of God!

Let's go.

It was close.

Too close.

Good thing Joe doesn't know he just met.

That's where it pulled him.

Hey,

there's the cancer. Save my Johnny, baby.

I smell people.

Sorry. You killed me, remember?

All right, there's that.

Hey, Jim!

Hey, Jim. Hi.

How you doing, buddy?

How you doing?

Congratulations. Thanks.

Hey, who do you have to cast to get a drink around here?

Jim Jarmusch.

Hi, Valerie Irons. Hi, yeah.

Nice to meet you. I'm the director of Ghost Dog, the Feng Shui quoting

Something like that.

Did you get my skills? I did.

Was the story kind of a horror film about a girl who loses her American

card at the mall, right?

Yeah, it's based on a true story.

It was interesting. Yeah, thanks. I read it.

Members of the casting crew, if you would please direct your attention to

HDTV screen.

Foam is proud to present highlights from the upcoming blockbuster, Fist of the

Dragon. My editor.

John Gilbert. Your editor.

Val, you dubbed our voices?

You guys just aren't used to hearing your voices on the phone.

Yo, Hermes, we didn't suck that bad, did we?

Are you kidding me?

I smell Oscar.