Original subtitles

You'll never know what brought me to the class club that night.

Other than the end for one of Frog's killer skull bangers.

Hurt me, Froggy.

Maybe it was just a feeling.

That tonight I might actually find him.

Phaeton.

There is no Phaeton.

Phaeton's a web fan and he doesn't exist.

You're wasting your time, Nova.

I will.

Could you, like, wear a turtleneck or something? It's very hard to concentrate

with that thingy bobbing up and down on your neck.

Final warning, Nova. Take my advice.

Back off vacation.

Oh, yeah?

Take my advice.

but it could blow a hole in you the size of a quesadilla.

For God's sake, Val, will you put that stupid thing away?

Hello?

I said put that thing away.

We're here on business.

Do me a favor. Try to act professional.

I'm doing my job. We just got a new client. He wrote a book. I am

myself with the subject matter. Okay?

It's really rock.

Epsilon the Webmaster by Damien Cain.

Well, that's a small move, serializing on the web.

I know, I'm totally hooked. You know what happened yesterday's webisode? This

Nova, who's totally hot, by the way. He's trying to solve all this freaky

crime in Epsilon City. Hello!

People, can we focus, please?

Damien Cain is about to be released any minute a free man, and we're here to

protect him from his death threats.

What, you don't believe me? I believe I bought him a lot of free publicity.

I don't believe I care for that kind of publicity myself.

Face it, pal, Damien's in trouble.

Oh, God.

Just leave the poor guy alone.

He's innocent.

Maybe. He's out? Oh, he is.

Well, he's out on a technicality vow. That was some kind of legal screw -up.

Well, he told me he didn't set the fire that caused that guy to die, so I

believe him. Why?

Because you're convinced he based his main character on you.

No.

That's not it.

I have proof.

My fight is him.

Well, that'll hold up in court.

That's our boy.

Mr.

King, any comment on the DA's attempt to prevent your release?

I still deny responsibility for the fire of B -Cop that killed Burton Reilly.

Do you have anything to say for yourself? Mr. King, do you still have

to say for yourself?

Mr.

King, hi, I'm here.

You are the best type of writer ever. You know what should happen next?

Nova should be at a women's prison and dig her way out with a coke bottle top,

which is not as easy as it might seem, because I tried it once. I tried to get

my auntie out of the garbage because I broke my 14 nails. You must be Val.

I'll get the car.

No, no, I want to walk.

It's so good to be out.

Not afraid of any death threats?

Right, I forgot.

If that guy's telling the truth about anything, I'll eat my glock.

The beautiful and lethal Valerie Irons.

Plucked from obscurity to head an elite Los Angeles bodyguard agency.

They know how to get things done.

Eventually.

We're here awaiting the release of Damien Cain, whose popular new thriller

burning up the web. But Cain himself is not too popular with some of the people

you see here. People who think Cain should have stayed behind bars.

We're wasting our time.

Those shots could have been fired from a rifle a half a mile away.

Cops are on it. So far, nada.

Any ideas who might want you dead?

You kidding? There's no shortage of people who want a hardened criminal like

off the streets.

Too bad you erased those threatening emails.

I could have traced them.

Yeah, well, sorry I deleted them as soon as I got them. They creeped me out.

You know, I don't get it.

The court let me go. Why would anyone still think I'm guilty of that horrible

fire? Uh, because you were convicted for it? Right.

But here's the thing.

I didn't do it.

Look, I... I got tomorrow's chapter to write. Is there anywhere I could work?

Sure. We got a spare office set up for you right across the hall.

Don't worry, man. We'll straighten this whole thing out.

Then we'll head down to the class club with one of them skullbangers, right?

Yeah, right. All right.

Come on.

It's in the book.

Well, I was right. Totally rocks. Check it. This is super freak, nova, body's

just like...

I'll keep an eye on him.

What's up?

You think Shakespeare's a firebug?

Our jury have his pierced on, so... You two are so unfair.

The evidence against Damien Cain was entirely circumstantial. Please, Kay,

review that evidence.

See, Cain gets fired from his job at the B -Club. Then the next night, the whole

place gets torched.

Killing Burton Wyler, the boss man who fired him.

Even the D .A. couldn't prove that was premeditated, and he was good.

And dreamy. Yeah, sure.

If you like white bread. Right. Like who doesn't?

District Attorney Overton won the jury over, but he didn't have much of the

case. A bartender testified he heard Damien and Weiler arguing right before

Damien got fired.

And then, of course, there was Epsilon in the beginning.

Say what?

Damien's first e -book, written months before the arson.

There was a chapter describing an arson slash murder.

And I guess it was very similar to what happened at B -Club.

Right. And it's just a coincidence.

Oh, please, Tasha.

You can have weird fantasies and still be a nice person. You should see my

diary.

Maybe you shouldn't.

No hard evidence. Maybe our boy's clean.

What's biting you?

I don't know.

Maybe Val isn't the only one with a biting sense.

a trip with Julia at the end of it.

Oh, Vicki.

Hey, there's metal with a wiggle on it. Actually, it's an Epsilon. I ordered it

to celebrate the release of my book, not to mention my own.

Sweet. Now, can we get out of the open before Rifleman blows you a new pie

Yeah, no offense to anyone. Why does that matter? Why don't you go for the

Well, I've been down that road, Val. When my first book came out, I got one

these in pure silver, and then I went ahead and lost it.

You know the old saying, buy cheap, never weak.

Oh, I have a better one.

Um, you pass it. That's traffic.

Overton. What's he doing here?

Damien Cain. Where is he?

Hello to you too, Mr. D .A.

He's not far.

Fine. Protect a known criminal if that's the kind of reputation you want.

The last time we looked, our client was no criminal.

The conviction didn't stick.

It didn't stick because some fool paper pusher dotted a T instead of crossing

it, but it takes a lot more than a legal loophole to clear Damien Cain, and you

know it. I fought hard to put him in prison, Miss Dexter. I fought even

to keep him there because I knew something like this would happen.

He's right back to his old M .O., describes a crime in his book, then gets

kind of sick thrill out of making it happen.

Not on our watch.

Unless Brian John Joey's a crime.

You really don't know, do you?

Excuse me, miss.

May I?

There. Rental money. You'll have it back. The latest

thrilling installment of Epsilon, the webmaster.

bells for you?

You think he arranged to have someone shoot at him? It's going kind of far to

make your fantasy come to life. Unless you're a complete psychopath, that's

exactly what your client is.

Do yourselves a favor.

Walk away from him.

Now.

Your Honor, the prosecution rests.

Yeah, he's good.

But is he right?

Maybe it's time we found out for sure.

If anybody finds out, I'll let you in here. Don't strike your underhooks. We

just want to see what the cops have on Kane.

Not much.

Arson Boyce said they found him in his basement office.

Looks like someone served him a cocktail.

Molotov straight up. You got that right.

Perp waited till he was asleep on the couch, doused it with alcohol, and

Just the dead guy?

Yeah, Bert Weiler, party animal.

Seems just pretty popular with the help.

Not with all of them.

Phaeton had disappeared again.

Faster than a cheap boyfriend when the check comes.

My hunch was he'd come up with a bad case of dead.

Was it Frost who killed him?

There is no death.

Only being.

And non -being.

And the infinite shining mind of the web.

Did fate never exist at all, Nova?

Do you?

Whatever show off.

Or it could have been Prong. Fate had been bumping uglies with Prong's girl,

Shalimar.

Forget fate. Nothing comes between us.

Not even our Calvins.

Need a parental block on this one.

But alive or dead, one person would know for sure.

Greedy.

Heck that.

I'm just here to find out about Phaeton.

Know about Phaeton?

I don't know anything.

You're talking to the wrong girl. I swear I don't know.

Is that a brain shake?

It is.

It's hard to find these days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

But I know a couple of them.

By your eyes.

You tell me what you know.

Okay. Okay.

I'll tell you anything you want to know.

I need what's in this thing.

Give it to me.

Like today.

Okay.

But you have to know that if they knew I was telling you, they would kill me for

sure.

Hey, Connor.

Oh, my God, it's been

poisoned.

Continued?

I have to know what happened.

Hello?

Tasha, get me Damien, okay? Because I need to know who killed her.

Killed who?

Squeegee. The hacker at computer check, silly.

He knows who killed her.

You're not still reading that dumb book, are you?

Damien's not dumb, okay? He's a genius.

He figured out how to poison somebody with a super -duper sleuth right there

watching.

God, what's wrong with him?

Offhand? I'd say it was poison.

Okay, you got me. I did it. Yeah, I started a fire, just like the one in my

first book, so everybody be sure to think it was me.

And then I thought it'd be cool to see what a real poisoning is like, so I

slipped some cyanide in some guy's latte.

Actually, it was a tincture of arsenic.

Oh, why quibble over details?

You'll think I'm guilty no matter what.

Okay, nobody has accused you of poisoning that poor guy.

But police have asked that you not leave town.

Sorry about the Q &A, but we have to be sure.

Yeah, I see we got some house rules. Not to aid and abet criminals.

Well, I'm not a criminal.

If Overton's right and I'm following this M .O. of his... I'd be hanging a

guilty sign around my neck. I'd have to be crazy.

I hate to tell you, that doesn't make us feel all warm and toasty.

All right.

Let's say for a moment that you're not copycatting the crimes from your book.

Who is?

Maybe this will help.

That chunk of the bottle allegedly used in the fire, I just got a match on the

label.

Single malt whiskey.

Kind of expensive for a bottle bomb.

Wyler's drink of choice.

Irony. Nice touch.

I can't help it. I'm a writer.

All right, whoever did it knew Wyler.

Who had it influenced him yet?

Todd, you.

What are you talking about?

Looks like you wish this finger were loaded.

All right, I guess I got nothing to lose. You've already decided that I've

it.

Burton Wyler was a scum -sucking creep, and I hated his freaking guts.

So when you testified that you hadn't fought with him... I was lying. I told

Wyler exactly what I thought of him, and then he fired my underpaid ass.

You're admitting that you lied under oath.

Give me a break, all right? I had an arson manslaughter rap hanging over my

head. I didn't need a narcotics charge on top of that.

Wyler gave me a package to deliver to one of the regulars. Turns out it was

-grade cocaine.

And you didn't know that? No.

Wyler told me later.

He was also kind enough to inform me about how much trouble I'd be in if

found out, which wouldn't be a problem if I helped him push his product.

I told him exactly where he could push it. I left. End of story.

While he was dealing, he had enemies.

Think it was a hit?

It's worth looking into.

But the real question is, why didn't this come up at the trial?

Because it never happened.

They mean Cain lied to you.

I admire your persistence, but like my grandma used to say, off the path and

deep in the weeds.

So there were no rumors about drug trafficking at the beat club?

There were rumors, all right. Started by the defense to smear the victim and

create reasonable doubt.

Wasn't a lick of truth to any of it. Hurt while he was a respected man, well

-liked, very active in the community.

How about that?

St. was a lick of life. Oh, he had it involved.

I hear he liked his happy hour and he had some overdue parking tickets.

Look, I know you mean well, but please, let me do my job.

Kane's murdered before. He'll do it again.

I intend to stop him.

Seem pretty sure he's a murderer.

I could lose my job for this, but if it earns your cooperation.

Detective at the arson scene got careless with some evidence, so it was

inadmissible.

Found six inches from Wyler's body.

I believe that's called an epsilon.

We are dumping Cain as of now.

Chill on that. I've got to check something.

It's over, Nick.

Weiler's death was premeditated murder.

And our client left his calling card at the scene.

The clip he said he lost?

Yeah, it's just... Something doesn't sit right.

I'll get back to you.

You win again, Val.

Not again.

Okay, well, I am sick of destroying the world.

Let's go shopping, Damien.

Ah -ah!

Tasha left Drake's orders.

He is to stay here until she comes back.

God, but it's so damn yucky in here.

Hey, watch the computer.

Why not just read the new webisode?

Cool, you know, I'll just go in the back. I'll get hats and we can act out

the parts.

I think I'll pass. I really can't deal with my book right now. Why? It rocks.

Well, thanks, but I can't even finish writing tomorrow's chapter. It's hard to

come up with a juicy crime when you know someone will actually commit it and

people will think it was me.

I know exactly how you feel.

Remember that time someone spilled Dr. Pepper all over Tasha's ammo drawer? She

blamed me.

And what was me, but still.

You know, it kills me, Val. Right now, some maniac, whoever he is, is using my

book to plan his next crime.

And he'll get away with it.

No, he won't.

We'll plan to take him out and we'll catch him in the act.

What? You said it yourself.

He gets all his ideas from your book, so... What's the thing we're going to

next?

Yeah, you're right, Val.

I think I know.

Where's Kane?

Uh, Val's keeping an eye on him.

Oh, really?

Where's Val?

Uh, gee.

She was here a few minutes ago.

They've both gone AWOL.

Think, Kay.

Kay, think. Where'd they go?

I don't know.

Shopping, maybe.

Don't worry, Tasha. No one's going to shoot him at Bloomingdale's. It's not

I'm worried about.

Kay, the arson's a cover -up for murder. The D .A. has proof.

Oh, my gosh.

Kane's also been committing the copycat crimes, which makes him crazier than an

outhouse rat.

Val's with him. She's in real danger.

Okay, let's stay cool for a minute.

Kane likes Val.

Maybe he won't hurt her.

Ooh, I wouldn't count on that.

Have you read today's webisode?

killer. We've got to get to her. Fast.

Yeah, it's only one problem. Where the hell is she?

Think about it, Val.

Epsilon Tower stood for Epsilon. What landmark stands for Hollywood?

Up there, huh? You really think that's where Mr. Badguy's gonna strike?

No question. It's the closest thing L .A. has to Epsilon Metro Tower.

Still busy.

Can't stick to his M .O. He'll die from the fall.

She mentioned shopping.

Mom's got a roof.

Val,

who on earth are you talking to?

Hello, driver's helper. I've been on hold for, like, forever.

And can you please tell me the fastest way to get to the Hollywood sign?

I think I zigged on Bluebird when I should have zagged on Redwood.

They put me on hold again.

I've got an idea.

We'll leave the car where no one can see it.

And we'll go the rest of the way on foot.

Really? I can't do this without you, Val. You're my Nova.

Oh, well, since you put it that way.

It's a good thing I brought my sensible walking shoes.

What have you got?

You were right.

It checks out.

How about on your end?

The fire started on the couch all right.

Then the bar caught.

Must have been one hell of a weenie road.

You know, it just doesn't add up.

It's starting to.

Oh, wait a second. I've got to take a little break. I stepped on a picker

It'll tear out of my toe.

You seem a little tense, okay?

And what's really going to happen at the Epsilon Metro Tower anyway? We'll get

to that later.

Come on.

It

better

be good, Nick.

Yeah, Damien's got foul.

Damien's not the problem. Check this out.

Crime scene photos.

The wireless body was here, which puts the epsilon clip here.

So?

Less than four feet from the bar.

There had to be 15 gallons of alcohol there, ready to blow.

Alcohol itself burns cool.

When the bottles busted, it would have acted as an accelerant.

The heat would have made hell seem like a frosty freeze.

Yeah, fire burns hot. What's your point?

My point is the epsilon clip Damien lost, the one Overton says was found

the body.

It was pure silver.

Hold on.

What's going on? Would someone please tell me what's going on here?

Care of the silver?

Yes, but... Ouch!

Tasha, what are you doing?

Overton said the clip was found six inches from the body. I was there six

from the body. It was right where the fire started.

Damien's real Epsilon clip? What a mouth he'd like candy.

Meaning Overton's clip is a fake.

Kind of makes you wonder about the rest of his evidence.

My earring.

Expensive.

Ouch.

Crusading Pete Overton.

He's got a nice senatorial ring to it, don't you think?

Yes, sir, he does.

Yes, sir, I knew this case had career potential. That drunk while I called to

sleep with a bob of one paw sticking the other.

Accidental, open and shut.

Unless, of course, you find yourself a fall guy, filled with the evidence.

Then some damn judge undoes all my hard work by turning the chain loose.

You know, the longer he's out, the more chance he's got to prove his innocence.

Now, how would that make me look, hmm?

Don't you worry about that, sir. We have him under strict surveillance.

Don't want him locked, Henley. I want him screwed.

I want the next frame to box him so tight he won't be able to pass wind

ruffling his hair.

Excuse me, sir.

Hanley here.

Hold on.

Break, sir. Kane is on the move.

Where's he headed?

Where?

Get up there now, sir.

Get you to come and walk the rest of the way.

Nate?

Yeah.

Valerie Irons with... Is that the bell?

Well, why don't you arrange a little welcoming committee for Riggs?

You got it, Chief.

Go.

Is there a problem, sir?

Not at all. In fact, it's just about perfect.

I believe it's time for Damien Payne to commit his final crime.

The murder of Valerie Iron.

All right.

If the copycat's coming, at least we got here first.

We've already come up here. This looks nothing like Epsilon Metro Tower.

Well, I'm hoping he'll get the symbolism.

I mean, fans are way into that stuff. Think about it. In Epsilon City, you can

see the Metro Tower from miles away.

And it says... Epsilon!

Oh! Oh, I get it, I get it. Okay, the Hollywood sign.

Hollywood. I get it, that's good. You know what? I'm totally channeling Nova

right now.

Wait, did you hear that?

What was that? What? Oh, I mean... Sorry.

Hello? Oh, it's, uh... My driver's helped me. They kept me on hold. I'm

check my message.

Val, listen carefully.

We have proof Damien Cain is a killer. Come on. We've got to get out of sight.

If you're with him, run.

Val,

Nova was murdered.

Phaeton threw her off Epsilon Metro Tower.

Damien's going to kill you. You've got to run.

Something wrong?

Val!

Val, what's wrong with you?

Stay away from me. Val!

Phaeton. What?

Tasha, he's going to kill me. He's going to throw me off the Epsilon Metro

Tower. Help!

Oh, no!

You all right?

Wait a second. Why did you save me? You're just going to kill me.

You think I want to kill you.

Well, Tasha said you were the bad guy, and Phaeton murdered Nova. No, no, no.

Tasha is wrong.

And Nova does not get murdered.

Look, read tomorrow's webisode.

The first thing that hit me wasn't the pavement. It was the realization that I

wasn't going to die.

Whoa! Now I totally feel like Nova. First I was going to get squished like a

bug, and now, whoo -hoo, not going to die.

Just again.

Epsilon Metro Tower?

What was she talking about?

Here you go.

Everything in the greater L .A. area that has a tower.

Hell of a lot of towers.

We're going to sit around here boo -hooing. Let's roll.

So, how long are you guys going to keep us here? Huh? It's kind of cold, and I

think I have to use the ladies' room.

Oh, looks like you guys are in big trouble with the D .A. here.

Well, I don't think he's on our side.

What's it going to take to get rid of you, Mr. Kane?

I railroaded you for that fire, had you shot at, even had that poor fella

poisoned, and you're still walking around loose.

I ask you, what is wrong with the criminal justice system?

You're a rake.

I prefer senator -free. But now that you've finally caught up with the story,

here's how it ends.

Damien Cain, being every bit as dangerous as the DA feared, murders

Irons by throwing her off this conveniently located cliff.

He then suffers a long overdue attack of remorse.

and kills himself.

Oh, I almost forgot.

You can have this back to write your suicide note.

Screw you.

Oh, Briggs, convince this man.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. He'll do it.

No, Val, I'm not... Wise choice.

Make it good now.

Remember, it's going to be in all the papers.

I'm not going to make it easier for him.

Of course you're not, silly.

I need a little help.

Val, there's no web connect on that. You can't get help.

From Nova.

Remember, Phaeton tried to kill her. She tricked him. We're going to use one of

her tricks, okay? I'm going to check the next web episode.

Val, here's the thing. There is... I'm trying to read.

Wait.

Phaeton was killing Nova.

But somehow...

She got away.

In another moment, I'd be hurtling toward the face full of concrete.

Unless... Suddenly, I realized I had exactly what I needed to save my life.

I reached for my... my... Hey!

Where's the rest of it?

There is none. That's what I've been trying to tell you. I haven't finished

chapter.

Okay, finish it. I can. I haven't figured it out yet. I mean, yeah, sure,

my main character, so she survives. I just don't know how.

What? The girl fell out of a 90 -story building. Give me a break here.

Great. Just great.

Now what are we going to do?

No luck at Arco Plaza. Any word from the others?

Quick says Watts Tower with a bus.

Johnny struck out at LAX, and Nikki called in. But there's nothing in

City. Do you want her to try Crystal Cathedral?

We're running out of time.

I know.

But don't worry, Tasha.

I've hacked into all of the network news and weather choppers.

See, they cover a lot of territory, and I was thinking we might find her that

way. I've got a face recognition program running on a computer right now.

Sure, Kay. It's nice to keep him busy.

Oh, my gosh.

You are never going to believe this.

Disappoint me, Mr. Kane.

I'll have to write your confession myself, but I've gotten pretty good at

copycatting your style.

Do it!

Yikes. Think, think, think.

What would Nova do?

Suddenly, I realized I had exactly what I needed to save my life.

I reached for my machine gun.

In that outfit, like, where would I carry it?

I reached for my crouching tag.

Darn it! I went ahead and fell asleep during that movie.

Do it.

I missed for my... Missed for my... Spencer!

Come on! Shoot them!

Bad idea.

Forget them! Get them!

Maybe today's not a total loss.

Get up!

You're not gonna get away.

Maybe not.

But at least I'll be happy.

Who's a psychopath now?

This isn't your stupid webisode, Kane.

This is!

Well,

looks like I just got my ending, Val.

You're a genius.

That's right. That's Valerie with QL.

In another moment, I'd be hurtling toward the face full of concrete.

Unless, suddenly I realized I had exactly what I needed to save my life.

I reached for my rocket grappler building penetrator thingy.

been so bad, but there just should have been more quill. You know, I can't wait

for the next one.

You know, I was the inspiration for the end.

Kinda.

What are these supposed to be?

Skullbangers.

Damien made them.

Yeah, I needed a break from writing, so I was thinking of e -publishing the

Clash Club drink recipes.

Damien and I have been mixing up some pretty cool cyber drinks.

Who knows, maybe there's a future there for you, huh?

That's a great idea.

You know what? These are killing me.

Bottoms up.

Hey, just like being at the Clash Club, right?

Right. Well, let's check it out.

Let's see here.

Uh, yo, brother.

Can I get some Hennessy, please? Quickly. Yeah, some Singtel.

My friends are free.

It's only five.

The girl.

Dude, some things are best off to the professionals.

True that.

Yeah. Yeah, don't forget your job.